Final paperwork [621535]

Final paperwork
Marin Constantin -Alexandru
FCRP – MCAE I

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Final paperwork

 Chapter 2, Application 1
Describe a case where an American and someone from another country might have incompatible
narratives.
My best friends from abroad are Boris from Russia and Mike from the United States. At one
point I participated with them at a conference called '' Communism v ersus A mericanism ''. After
the conference ended , Boris exclaimed to Mike: "Isn't that Marx was a cool guy?" . Believin g that
he was joking, Mike started to laugh. Boris continued and asked him what was so funny. Mike
told him that the joke he made was a good one , moment when Boris exclaimed stupefied: ''I do
not kn ow why all Americans laugh or make a wry face when someone brings into discussion the
name of Marx. Marx is Marx, respect him guys!''. After this answer, Mike , who was really
annoyed, began to quarrel with Boris, explaining him how Marx is perceived in the Western
countries and that he should be careful when ref erring to Marx or communism in the presence of
other people , with different cultural backgrounds and perceptions. I was trying so hard to build a
perception bridge between them and after almost 45 minutes of quarrel, the two calmed down,
saying that they w ill never go together at conferences with such ''hot topics''.
When he started laughing, Mike committed a series of perception errors. First, he assumed that,
even though Boris came from Russia , he has a similar perception about communism as he had.
Then, he did not even want to listen the arguments of Boris about Marx and communism,
because he simply started to favor negative impressions over positive ones. He also, as an
American, judged himself more charitably then he judged Boris, although at the confe rence were
presented many disadvantages that the doctrine of Americanism has. Thus, his preconceptions
spoke for him, and he did not realize from the beginning that he should have been trying to cover
much earlier the perception gap that existed between hi m and Boris.

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 Chapter 4, Application 1
Describe situations from your own experience illustrating the listening misconceptions listed on
pages 116 -119.

All listeners do not receive the same message & listening requires effort
I went out one evening to a book release with a few friends. Besi des them , there were two
persons I did not know. I introduced mys elf, I told them I was from Balș and that I was a student: [anonimizat] , then we went in to take our seats in the hall. At one point, one of the two
persons asks me : "And how's the weather in Balș?". I replied and then we were preparing to
listen to the author who launched the book. At the end of the presentation, the other person asks
me: ''When are you going to come back to Balc ?''. At that moment I was puzzled because I did
not know what to answer. I explained him again that I am from Balș and not from Balc, then he
apologized, and we all started laughing.
Although I presented myself in front of them in the sam e time and place, the two persons did n ot
receive the same message from what I initially said. Later on, one of them told me that that
evening she was a little nervous and that she was thinking about s omething else when I
introduced myself. Just as funny was the fact that the two persons contradicted themselves
durin g the conference, one claiming that I was from Balș and the other that I was from Balc .

Balș – a town in Oltenia county, in the middle of the distance between Slatina and Craiova.
Balc – a commune located in Bihor county .

Listening and hearing are not the same thing
Me: Hey grandma, how are you? I want to tell you something.
Grandma: What a coincidence, I also wanted to tell you something.
Me: I went with some friends to play football and I broke the window from a neighbor' s house.
What should I do?

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Grandma: Sometimes I sit an d wonder why you do not put the milk back i n the refrigerator
after you have breakfast.
Me: Grandma, I am very panicked by what has happened. What should I do?
Grandma: I think I told you so many times that you had to put things back where you got them.
Me: Forget about it!

My frustration in those moments was that my grandmother and I were not really engaged in a
dialogue. Although I initiated the discussion and I had something important to tell her, sh e was
hearing me, but she was no t listen ing to me, because in her mind was something more important
than what I wanted to tell her. A fter a few days she was surprised when she found out from a
friend of mine that I broke that window .

Listening is not a natural process
Me: The system has broken down again. I think we should call the guys from IT.
Comm. Director: Yes, please do.
Me: They said that we should wait two more hours until they can do something. They are busy
right now.
Comm. Director: No problem, we are not in a hurry.
Me: But the deadline for implementing the communication strategy is set for today.
Comm. Director: You can go back to your work and solve the tasks for today then.
Me: But the system is broken. How can I …?
Comm. Direc tor: They are easy tasks.

Later that afternoon, the communications director came to me asking why the communication
strategy was not fully implemented . After I retold him the e pisode from that morning , he
apologized and said that he could not always be an active listener when someone is talking to
him, because he is more focus ed on his daily routine. That moment, I understood that, contrary to
the what the majority of the people believe, listening is not a natural process and my manager
should definit ely exercise more his listening skills.

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 Chapter 5, Application 1
Use the information in this Chapter to write a set of guidelines for newcomers to the United
States on how nonverbal communication operates in this country. Pay special attention to
unspoken rules governing various types of nonverbal communication: touch, voice, time, etc.

Guidelines for newcomers to USA
Touch The handshake is common (even for strangers),
hugs, kisses for those of opposite gender or of
family (usually) on an increasingly more
intimate basis. Note differences betw een
African -Americans and Anglo -Americans in
USA. Most African Americans touch on
greeting but are annoyed if touched on the head
(good boy, good girl overtones) .
Smell Fear of offensive natural sme lls (billion dollars
are invested to mask objectionable odors with
what is perceived to be pleasant). This fear is
connected with the concept of ''attractiveness''.
Face and eyes In USA, e ye contact indicates: degree of
attention or interest, influences attitude change
or persuasion, regulates interaction,
communicates emotion, defines power and
status, and has a central role in managing
impressions of others. Western cultures, in
general, see direct eye to eye contact as
positive (advise children to look a person in the
eyes). But within USA, African -Americans
use more eye contact when talking and less
when listening with reverse true for Anglo –
Americans. This is a possible cause for som e
sense of unease between races in the US. A
prolonged gaze is often seen as a sign of sexual
interest.
Posture Bowing, for example, is not done , criticized, or
affected in US. On the other side, in Japan, it
shows rank.
Gestures Pointing : US with inde x finger (Germany with
little finger; Japanese with entire hand).
Physical attractiveness Americans appear almost obsessed with dress
and personal attractiveness.