How to Fuck a Womans Brains Out [612423]

How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
1

ThornDaddy
2

HOW TO FUCK
A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT
By ThornDaddy
Forward by Dollie Llama
(All Web links clickable in PDF)

eBook v1.3 ISBN: 978-0-97053-928-1
Paperback book: ISBN 978-0-97053-922-9
RELEASE DATE FOR eBOOK ON BitTorrent: APRIL 28, 2008.
http://www.thorndaddy.com/?page_id=207
RELEASE DATE FOR PODIOBOOK: MAY 7, 2008.
http://podiobooks.com/title/how-to-fuck-a-womans-brains-out
RELEASE DATE FOR PAPERBACK BOOK ON AMAZON: June 5, 2008.
http://tinyurl.com/6o7gwr
Paperback, eBook and Podiobook all released under Creative
Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 License.OK to copy, share, remix and distribute for non-commercialuses, with attribution.
Cover art: “Pleasure”, drawing by Amy-Rose.
HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT is book two of the PEEP!
trilogy.
Book one was Diary of an S&M Romance (by Dollie Llama):
www.smDiary.com. Book three (by ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama,
coming eventually) is Diary of an S&M Marriage.
HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT is available as a printed
book on Amazon.com, Stockroom.com.Free eBook available via BitTorrent from ThePirateBay.org and GreyLodge.org
Please rate and review on Amazon.com, PodioBooks.com, and
ThePirateBay.org, and comment on GreyLodge.orgAnd tell two friends, and feel free to share any copies. We’reon a mission from POD.Thank you.
Motto of The ThornDaddy Foundation:
He who dies with his art on the most hard drives, wins!

Dedicated to Dollie, my fluffy baby kitty whore.
You’re so smart that your brains never stay
fucked out for very long.
And that’s part of why I fuck you constantly.
PEEP! Press is the world outreach publishing arm of The
ThornDaddy Foundation
Our photos and blog:
www.thorndaddy.com
T-shirts of book cover available there too! “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple.Free. No iPod needed:
www.AskDollie.com
Donate to our world sex ministries:
www.askdollie.com/donate.htm

ThornDaddy
NOTE:
This an educational sexual resource for adults only .
Furthermore, if you are adult, but offended by informativematerial concerning hot, rough sex between loving, consenting adults, just GO AWAY, and don’t come back.There’s nothing for you here.
DISCLAIMER
Nothing in this book constitutes legal, ethical orhealth advice. It is only one man’s opinions andexperience, and should be taken as such. If in doubt,consult a lawyer, doctor, psychiatrist, or other appropriate professional.
Furthermore, you should not attempt anything
described or suggested in this book unless you arewilling to take complete responsibility; legally, moral-ly, ethically, sexually, and with regard to your safetyor the safety of others.
LEGAL: “HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT” is a
trademark of PEEP! Press. It covers a range of educationalproducts, including printed books, eBooks, audio record-ings, videos, seminars, tent revivals and nugatory slappycouple surrogate sessions with individual bisexual (or bi-curious) women.

Table of Contents
FORWARD by Dollie Llama
CHAPTER 1 Greetings, Eager Male! CHAPTER 2 Fucking Your Bitches With RespectCHAPTER 3 What Women WantCHAPTER 4 Who to FuckCHAPTER 5 How to Attract WomenCHAPTER 6 How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out – Let’s Jump Right InCHAPTER 7 How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out – Kings Don’t Live
This Well
CHAPTER 8 How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out – Holy God of Fuck!CHAPTER 9 Where to Find Willing WomenCHAPTER 10 How to Keep Women Coming Back, and Begging for MoreCHAPTER 11 How to Keep Women in Line CHAPTER 12 Overcoming AdversityCHAPTER 13 Closing ArgumentsAPPENDIX 1 Interviews With Seven Kinky Women About What
They Want and Need
Dollie Llama
the pet
Sienna S
Kitty
Jennifer Neko
Amy-Rose
Mistress Velvet
APPENDIX 2 Interview with ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama
APPENDIX 3 Poly Dollie – Essay by Dollie on Finding Joy in PolyamoryAPPENDIX 4 Kink and Sex Educational Resources and SitesHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out

ThornDaddy

FORWARD
by Dollie Llama
Good on you, you’ve chosen the right book by the right man.
ThornDaddy truly is the King of Fuck.
And I’m a woman who can verify that, as well, perhaps better, than any
other of the more than 200 women he’s fucked. I’m the lucky bitch hemarried, the one who sees him when he’s happy and sad, energizedand depleted, manic and cranky. At his lowest, Daddy has more rawsexual power than any man I’ve ever known. (And I’ve known myshare of men, maybe not quite the 200 partners Daddy’s had, but closeenough to speak with confidence.)
At his best, well rested and full of coffee, Daddy is the most creative,
dirty, subversive, seductive, masterful, majestic, fun-loving, generous,intuitive, powerful, animalistic, aromatic, soul-sullying, heart-lifting,goddamn-fucking-amazing lover ever.
Ever.
Yes, I love Daddy. In my world, the sun rises and sets with him. I am
his willing and joyful slave, in and out of bed. I am his best friend, hislover, his muse-collaborator. I am his fluffy baby kitty whore. I amproud to be his cum-dumpster and collection of orifices, exclusively forhis pleasure.
He deserves it.Why? Because he gives me everything I need to be the best woman I
can. Not just sexually, though no one can nail me to the center of theearth with his cock like Daddy. But Daddy feeds the whole woman, not
just the pussy. And that’s one of the many, many qualities that makehim the god in bed that he is.
I met Daddy on Bondage.com, a BDSM (bondage/dominant-submis-
sive/sex magic, or bondage/domination, sadism/masochism) communi-ty Web site (back in the days before the buyout by Penthouse andAlt.com – after which, in my opinion, the site started to suck). I am asubmissive/slave, and was looking for the right Master who might wantto own me. Or, if not that, I was at least looking for a good time.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Let me say this about submissive women: just because a woman is
wired to love to serve does NOT mean she is easy, or undemanding.Subs and slaves expect to be treated to earth-shattering sex as muchas, maybe more than, any other women. The way they play requiresthey be able to trust their partners to care for them and about them,even when that trust and care does not rise to, or develop into, love.They are women who know what makes them wet, and will only acceptthe men who can do what they need. Iam a woman who knows what
makes me wet and will only accept the man who can do what I need.
Daddy knocked me clean out of my stiletto heels.When we met, I was amazed, from the first moment. He was cool,
smart, sexy and confident. He wasn’t pushy, sleazy, or smarmy. He wascommanding, but not condescending. He showed me his talents withoutbeing egotistical. He was powerful and charmingly humble. He washonest. He continues to be all of this, day in and day out. And hemakes me cum like I’ve lost my mind.
Of course I’m madly in love and lust with him. How could I notbe?
And if you pay close attention, practice what he preaches, you can have
a bit of that glory and majesty for yourself and those you fuck. Youshould thank him now. If you do it well, he might even make time toread it. That is, if he’s not simply too busy fucking my brains out. Orme and one of our playgirls. Daddy’s man enough for a whole housefulof bitches. And that’s a man worth listening to.
Dollie Llama
Los Angeles,Summer 2008ThornDaddy
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CHAPTER 1
Greetings, Eager Male!
Greetings, eager male!
You don’t need to be tall, gorgeous, rich, or have a huge dick and a
fancy car to get laid. And you don’t need to be a type-A “take charge”confrontational kind of guy in all social situations to attract women.
I’m short, middle-aged, and have a bit of a belly. I’m good looking, but
not striking. I have an average-sized dick. I’m not rich. I don’t have afancy car. I don’t even owna car, even though I live in Los Angeles.
And while I am in absolute command in the bed with women, social sit-uations bore me. I don’t need to be the “star of the party.” I leave thatup to the blank food tubes with marketing degrees. In fact, I tend tostructure my life in a way that avoids confrontation.
But I can get two or more hot, wet, willing women, in my bed any
night of the week. And I can make ‘em cum and scream, all night long.
I’ve had sex with over 200 women. (An exact number is hard to gauge.
I lost accurate count ten years ago, at 159 women fucked.) And mostof them moaned, screamed, sweated, came many times, and told meagain and again “THAT’S THE BEST FUCKING SEX I’VE EVER HAD!!!!”(And if you have any doubt of this, keep reading. I can prove it.)
I’m now happily married to the coolest woman in the world, Dollie
Llama. She’s pretty, foxy, smart, fucks me like a whore whenever Iwant, blows me on command, and lets me bring other girls into ourbed. And she’s even a great cook. And she never nags me. About any-thing ever. She’s my domestic servant, she’s my sex slave. And she’snot stupid, isn’t “broken”, and has great self-esteem. She just lovesserving her man.
Anyone who thinks that having a sex slave is misogynistic, know
that there are many dominant women (dommes) who love todominate men, and many men who love to be sex slaves towomen. A few of these women and men are my good friends.
As for women who are wired in a way that makes them want to
be submissive and serve a dominant man, want to be a sexslave, there are many women like that. Some don’t even knowHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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there’s a way to do it in a loving relationship, and have been
attracted to abusers. That’s horribly sad. And I love women. Partof the reason I’m writing this book is to help change this a tinybit in the world…trying to help smart sweet dominant men learnhow to love smart sweet submissive women. And Dollie writesbooks that help smart sweet submissive women love smartsweet dominant men.
Dollie helped me edit this book, and made a lot of suggestions for it.
How many “How to seduce and fuck women” books (or as I call them,fuck books ) are written with the involvement of a woman? Or in this
case, with the involvement of several women? The forward was writtenby, and the book was proofread and co-edited by, my wife. The coverart was done specifically for this book by a woman. And Appendix Onefeatures interviews with seven female friends of mine, explaining “whatwomen really want”, in their own words.
Most fuck books are written from the standpoint of “Here are tips to
trick stupid women.” And most of them tell you “Don’t let women knowyou’re reading this book.”
Fuck all that. This book is not about how to trick stupid women. It’s about how to
better engage in equitable, consensual hot sex with smart women.
And you shouldn’t hide this book from women. Hell, you could get laid
from just being seen reading this book. And many women are pre-
ordering it as a gift for their man.
I don’t trick women. I lovewomen. I celebrate them. I adore them.
And they adore me.
I’ve read most of the fuck books on the market (downloaded free on
BitTorrent, and worth every penny). I don’t need sex tips. But hey…inthe many fields I’m an expert in, I’m always willing to see what theother “experts” have to say. Occasionally I learn something. And I
believe that you only get old when you stop being teachable.
Only one fuck book that I read (Lee Jenkins’ Female Orgasm Black
Book), was VERY good, although it was also very clinical, with a lot of
science and charts and graphs.
A few were about “seducing married women”, which I think is fucking
evil. And even if you disagree, it can easily lead to being beaten up orshot to death by an irate husband, and it’s likely he won’t even domuch time for it. And they don’t bother mentioning this in any of theseThornDaddy
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books.
Many other fuck books basically tell you “target women by being the
loudest guy at the party, then be a total jerk to them, and they’ll loveit.” This is nonsense. Women who are worth being with are worth mak-ing happy. And you don’t do that by being a jerk. You do that (at leastI do that) by taking charge, but doing it with love, and discussing it upfront, with their full consent and knowledge, and with no “targeting”, atall.
Most of the fuck books talked a lot about some variation of “Neuro-
Linguistic Programming” (NLP), which is, in my mind, really sinister:you look for body language and speech patterns of the “mark”, then“mirror” it with your own, to gain trust and control. It’s a scientific formof lying that is studied and practiced extensively by used car salesmen,marketing weenies, politicians and other con artists.
NLP strikes me as “being the person your preywants you to be” rather
than just being yourself . Which is how I prefer to roll.
Other fuck books suggest similar horseshit, from hypnosis to “envision-
ing her into your bed.” (Any author who suggests writing an actual loveletter to yourself as if it’s written by the stranger you’re trying to bed ispsychotic, and out of touch with how the real world works to the pointthat he should be in an institution receiving the care he sorely needs.And I have seen such a fuck book.)
I don’t look at women as prey. Women are majestic creatures who
deserve to be venerated, respected and pleasured, if for no other rea-son than that they have a hard enough time on this planet just bybeing women.
I don’t lie to women, and don’t want you to lie to women. I will show
you how to be yourself, keep your soul, be able to sleep at night, andmake women happy. Very happy.
As for the rest of the fuck books, well, they read like “Letters to
Penthouse.” They’re written by horny net geeks who have no verifiableproof that they can actually fuck a woman’s brains out. They justexpect you to take their word for it.
I can prove I can fuck a woman’s brains out. Here’s a three-minute
excerpt

of a much longer recording of me fucking the brains out of my wifewhile diddling our girlfriend with a vibrator, while our girlfriend rubs myHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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balls. Both girls are cumming, hard. (We call our girlfriend the “the
pet”, and I’ll refer to her as that throughout this book.)
Or, go to www.ThornDaddy.com , click on the “HOW TO FUCK A
WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT” link, and click on the link on that page.
If you think “He got that audio somewhere else, it’s not really him”,
then go to
www.AskDollie.com and subscribe to “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE , the
free educational sex and culture podcast I do with my wife, DollieLlama. You can hear weekly new longer sex recordings. (“Submissionand Coffee” is currently the number-one BDSM podcast on iTunesStore, gets 70,000 episodes downloaded each month, and is listened toin over 50 countries.) You’ll hear new hot two- and three-way sex withme and the girls, updated weekly. And this book is also linked on thatsite, so you’ll know it’s really me.
And here’s photos of my typical weekend:
http://www.thorndaddy.com/?p=162
http://www.thorndaddy.com/?p=106
And it’s not just about sex. We love technology and kitties, too:
http://www.thorndaddy.com/?p=119
http://www.thorndaddy.com/?p=120
Most fuck books are written by people who can’t even write. Most fuck
books are poorly thought out, written in a stilted voice, and riddled withtypos. But I’m a professional writer. I make my living writing books(under a different name, the name on my birth certificate).
Most fuck books are written by people who just want to make a buck.
Not me. I’m on a mission to make the world a better place, for men,and especially for women. I’m giving away eBooks of this on BitTorrent
for free. And we’re doing an audiobook of it for Podiobooks.com. Andthe “Submission and Coffee” podcast is free. I’m not doing any of this
to make a buck . I’m doing it because I get a kick out of helping people,
it’s a nice distraction from the tech writing I do for a living, and I’mdoing it because I genuinely believe that if everyone in the world hadhalf as much sex as I do, and were half as good at it as I am, therewould literally be no war and very little crime.
So go to the podcast, listen to any of our many lessons (we’re at 145
episodes, as of this printing) of incredibly hot lovemaking, of my wifecumming over and over every time we fuck. Also listen to the episodeswith me, my wife and another woman (we’ve recorded this with a fewdifferent women), with me making BOTH of them cum for dear mercy,and me telling them both when and how to pleasure me, and eachThornDaddy
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other.
Listen to all of that, and then tell me I’m not qualified to write this
book. You can’t. It’s impossible. I am qualified, and you should listen towhat I have to say.
Many fuck books are written by young men, guys in their mid 20s.
These cats don’t have the sexual experience or life experience to writean entire book on the subject. I finished writing this book right beforemy 44th birthday. (It’s my gift to myself, to my wife, and to the world.)I’m at an age when a lot of men are reaching for the Viagra, which I’venever needed, never even seen. I don’t need Viagra. I amViagra.
(When I get Viagra spam, I laugh at my monitor out loud and say“DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM???”)
As for the title of this book, HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT ,
I’m speaking figuratively, but I’m also speaking literally . I can pleasure
a woman until she has so many orgasms that she passes out. I’ve donethis with many women. And I do this at least twice a week with mywife. She’s only out for about 60 seconds, it’s completely safe, and sheloves it. And I get to keep fucking her and play out a fantasy of fuckinga drunk girl passed out at a party, something I would never do in reallife, because that’s a form of rape. But it’s a damn fun, safe fantasywith someone who trusts you.
When she comes to, and I finish off and slime my seed inside her pret-
ty petals, or on her sperm-garden belly, tits and face, she HAS had herbrains fucked out . She’s incoherent, gasping, grinning, can’t string two
words together, and mews like a sexy kitty with a lobotomy.
I will teach you how to do this. (Not with mywife, but with any other
cool woman.)
Most fuck books promise to get you laid, make you a god in your own
bed, and tell you to then toss the woman aside, to make room for thenext “victim.”
I don’t victimize women. I glorify both of us by treating them really
really well, even as I’m pumping them full of cum, whenever I want.
While I am a god in my bed, I won’t lie to you. I cannot tap you on the
forehead and make you into me. Some of this stuff is innate. But a lotof it can be learned, practiced, and perfected. I’m willing to pass thissacred knowledge on to you, my eager student of fuck. And I don’t
want you to toss your women aside after you fuck them. I want
to help you find the right one (or the right ones), keep them around,How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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and make them smile, a lot…and not just in bed. I’ll tell you how to do
all that, too.
Again, we’re not doing any of this to make a buck . That’s why the wife
and I are releasing this as an eBook under Creative Commons andencouraging people to make copies for their friends. We also released itas a printed book for sale on Amazon. We like printed books. They’refun to hold in your hands, easier on the eyes than reading on a screen,and somehow people take printed books more seriously. And sure, we’llmake a few bucks selling the printed books. But me and the wife putthe profit back into the expenses of gear and hosting for the podcast.
The wife has a great day job as a paralegal, I have a great job as an
author. We don’t want to “go pro.” Spreading loving understanding ofsex is not our job, but it’s far more than a hobby. Our books and pod-cast are more important to us than our jobs. WE’RE ON A MISSION
FROM POD. We have an absolute need to make small changesfor the better in the world. We have a need to share what wecan about how beautiful safe, sane and consensual BDSM sexcan be.
So, eager male….stick around, grab a mug of your favorite beverage,
go sit outside, and enjoy the day. Put your feet up, smile as you thinkabout what the near future will bring to you, and absorb this book.
Then grab your gal, or gals, (or if you don’t have a gal handy, I’ll teach
you how to find and attract one), and begin to practice the astoundingmethodologies and techniques I am about to impart.
And remember: Women are too amazing to be anything butproof that
there is a god.
ThornDaddy
Los AngelesSummer 2008ThornDaddy
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CHAPTER 2
Fucking Your Bitches With Respect
I am not a misogynist. I lovewomen.
I am not here to teach you to “conquer” women, “chase” women, “put
a notch on your belt”, “get over” on women, “get into their pants” or“sport fuck”. Anyone who uses phrases like that, and means it, is aheel. A cad. A scumbag. And I also guarantee I get more ass than any-one who thinks like that. And I get more ass specifically because I donotthink like that.
I love to hold women down, fuck them, call them my bitch, and even
slap their ass, tits or face, but only with women who love it. And I onlydo it WITH PERMISSION and ONLY WITH LOVE.
Don’t be a misogynist. LOVE women. Exist to pleasure them. I do this
by doing anything I feel like doing, with permission. This sounds anti-thetical to some, like it’s undoing all the work done by feminists overthe past century. But not if it’s what the women want. Women’s libera-tion has changed. Modern sex-positive feminism includes the choice togive up some of your choi ces to someone you trust .
But if you’re given that trust, it cannot be violated. It’s too beautiful
and perfect and fragile of a gift.
My wonderful wife/sex slave/ sub(submissive)/best friend in the world,
Dollie Llama, once wrote something about choice that I really love:
As for being Daddy’s play doll, being Daddy’s dirty little cum toi-
let, I am proud to say I am that and more. So many women areembarrassed by their sexuality, even in today’s more accepting,hedonistic world. Today’s society is open about our sexuality inways that would make our grandmothers faint, but the doublestandard still exists. When Daddy calls me a whore, a slut, agroveling wench fit for nothing but serving him sexually, I amfree to be that wanton woman, driven by nothing but my needfor the Man who owns me.
And it’s my choice. This is something our grandmothers never
had. Choice. To me, making the conscious decision to live for myman is the ultimate in freedom, the ultimate in feminist thoughtin action. Does the fact that Daddy and I often play in theseHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
17

ways mean we don’t enjoy gentle, loving sex? Absolutely not.
What it does mean is that those soft interludes are all thesweeter, spiced by the contrast with the fury in which weindulge. But sweetest of all is his kiss on my lips when my ass isblazing.
I think that sums it up perfectly. (By the way, my wife calls me “Daddy”. While this is common with even
some vanilla – i.e. not-kinky – people, especially black people, it’s morethan simply a word for us. I amher Daddy. I am her dom– her domi-
nant man. I care for her, nurture her, guide her, make a lot of decisionsfor her, and she’s my little girl. This is not derogatory, and it’s got noth-ing to do with a desire to have sex with underage women. I have nodesire for that. My wife is 49, and I love that. And I’m younger thanher by five years. But she’s my daughter, and I’m her Daddy. This“Daddy/daughter” dynamic, if both parties are into it, is beautiful. I amher protector in this world, and I also give her spankings, with her overmy knee. Not as punishment for being errant, but as reward for doing
the right thing.)
ON SEMANTICS: Some people use “sub” and “slave” inter-
changeably, I do with Dollie, because she’s both to me, thoughshe says she feels “slave” is most accurate. One classic differen-tiation sometimes says “slaves are not allowed opinions, subsare.” I allow Dollie to voice her opinion sometimes. The distinc-tions are subtle, but can also be “slaves are subservient to themaster both in and out of the bed, and have less independence,the sub is subservient mostly only inside the bed, and has moreindependence outside the bed.”
It’s all just words to me. Another “protocol” thing with some BDSM people is capitalizing
the first letter of the dominant’s name or position, and not doingso for the submissive. So you’d have a couple of “Bill and sally”who are “Master and slave” and “He and she”. There’s a varia-tion on this called “Slash speak”, such as addressing a kink audi-ence in writing as “Y/you”, and the writer referring to them andtheir partner as “W/we” and “U/us”.
I don’t use this. I find it difficult to go from one writing conven-
tion to another and back once I’m used to it…and in the courseof my day I jump back and forth a lot between BDSM stuff, andpaid tech writing / pop culture writing. If I turned in tech writingwith slash speak, I’d quickly find myself without a job.ThornDaddy
18

Dollie used to use a small “i” and cap case “You” when e-mailing
me from work, but didn’t use it with anyone else, and I’ve askedher to stop. She used it in her book, but since then I realizedthat reading it kinda hurts my brain. She sometimes signs hername dollie llama when answering e-mails from people aboutBDSM, but we just had a discussion while I was typing this, andI’ve told her to sign it “Dollie Llama” (with caps) from now on.Because she’s become a well-known writer, and I think that awriter should be bold to the world, and that she should only besubmissive to me. She likes that idea very much. (By the way,her writing career started with me telling her to write, thenmentoring her, editing her and raising her up. My joke is thatwhen she started I “stood over her with a stick and made herwrite”, but it’s really kinda the truth. And now she loves writingand is very good at it.)
CONSENT
The only good sex involves consent, 100% consent with any and allparties. By “consent” I mean “with permission.” By “consensual” I mean“with permission.” I will use these terms a lot. Consent is about choice.Forced subservience in a woman, whether it’s forced by society, reli-gion, or by a man’s emotional and mental manipulation and guilt trip-ping, is abuse. I have no interest in committing abuse.
Sex without consent is rape. And that includes having sex with a
woman who is drunk, drugged, passed out or mentally/emotionallyunable to really consent. And rape is fucked. Don’t go there. Ever.
Consent given freely is beautiful, even if (and especially if) it’s consent
of the “You can do anything you want to me, sir” variety. When awoman gives her control to a man, for an hour or for life, it can be avery majestically beautiful thing, for both the man andthe woman.
But you really need to have your shit together to be able to guide and
control the whims of another. If you can’t run your own life, you haveno right running someone else’s life. I was not ready for this gift whenI was 18. I didn’t become ready until I was about 40. I’m 44 now.
Sure, I loved to tie a girl up and slap her ass and call her a slut, and
have been doing that for decades. And they loved it. But after the sex,I’d say “get me a glass of water”, and they’d invariably say, “I’m notyour fucking slave, get it yourself.”
Now I’m into women who will do what I want in bed, AND be totally
into serving me outside the bed. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
19

I’ve fucked a lot of women in my life, but that was just training to be
the husband I am today. It was part of the process and part of thesearch. I am not a womanizer. I am an artist. I paint on the inside (andoutside) of women using my cock as a brush. I give the gift of makingthem feel more beautiful then they’ve ever felt. I get in return, but it isgiving. When I make a woman smile and gasp and squirt and scream inthe bed, I am giving.
THE SECRET TO LIFE IS GIVING. GIVING IS THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING.
THE CHRISTIANS KNOW THIS, THE BUDDHISTS KNOW THIS.
ALL GREAT PROPHETS OF HISTORY KNOW THIS. (By the way:this is the most important thing in this book, and is worth theprice of the book by itself. Especially if you got this book free,because I am giving away a lot of eBook copies, because I walkmy talk.)
The best thing you can do is make a being (human or animal)
feel good. Feed a stray dog, mentor a child or fuck an adultwoman really really well and say “good girl” and pet her and pather on the head and make her KNOW she’s a good girl.
Sex is my prayer. The more I pleasure women, the more God loves me.
And this can work for you also.
AND HEAR THIS, EAGER MALE: You are going to learn a lot of
secrets in the sacred tome that you hold in your hands (or viewon your screen). And you must only use this divine knowledgefor GOOD, never for EVIL. If you use it for evil, or to hurt orcause to hurt any female, any one of god’s sweet sisters, youmay think you got away free and clear. But mark my words,eager male. If you use any of this to “trick” or in any way makea woman sad, one day, later in life, while you sleep, a bitter,skinny woman will cut off your dick and feed it to one of hermany cats.
ON HAVING A SEX SLAVE
Basically, I have a sex slave. In fact, I have two. My wife, Dollie Llama,lives to serve me, in the bed and out. She loves being my slave. Often,I’ll be doing some housework, and she’ll say “Let me do that!” and feela little sad if I insist on doing it myself. She’ll suck me on command,and cum from doing it, and she loves sex. And she only has sex with
me, well me and any girls I tell her to fuck with me.ThornDaddy
20

Sex slaves are not sluts. They’re not “easy”. They’re usually more
picky, by far, than slutty girls. Slaves are usually looking for the one,the search can last years, and they’re not gonna settle for any asshole.They need the perfect man. They’re giving up everything, he’s gotto
be worthy.
Nor do slaves have low self-esteem, nor are they products of sexual
abuse or poor upbringings. Many slaves are the most together women Iknow. They’re smart, often commanding and in-charge in their dayjobs, and slavery at home is a joyous respite from making decisions.It’s a spa treatment that never ends. It’s living to make someone elsehappy, and that makes them happy.
Not all women are wired for this, but the ones who are become unhap-
py when they’re not serving a perfect man. (Or a perfect woman. Thereare certainly submissive women who are exclusively lesbian. They wantthe perfect domme to serve.)
Dollie lives for sexual slavery, and domestic slavery (housecleaning,
preparing meals, etc.). She even had the word “Slave” tattooed on herpubic mound when I met her.
Early on in our relationship, in fact, before we met (on a kink Website,
we were both basically looking for each other, and happened to findeach other, and have been living happily ever after ever since) I toldher I would never be completely monogamous to any woman. I told herI like having multiple lovers.
The compromise we’ve come to, and it’s not really even a compromise
at all, is that I only have sex with other women if Dollie’s involved. Welike this. In fact, we love this.
It took a lot of work to find our perfect beta sub, perfect part-time sex
slave, whom we call “the pet”. We had sex with seven other women,one at a time, over the past three years, and none of them created thewonderful three-way satisfaction that the pet has. Other gals eitherwere really into Dollie, and not so into me, or really into me and not sointo Dollie, or were looking for “the one” and couldn’t ever play “secondfiddle” on a long-term basis. Some went looking elsewhere, and somesort of seemed like they wanted to steal me from Dollie. NOT accept-able.
And none of them really interested our minds much. And they were all
a little taken aback by how “lovie dovie sweetie-kitty” Dollie and I are.We are so sweet in our manners and speech when together that weHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
21

give people cavities. And our first seven women all were either a little
disgusted by this, or wanted it for themselves.
the pet is purrfect for Dollie and me. the pet is pretty, smart, sexy,
submissive, shy outside the bed but slutty in bed. (Important, becauseDollie and are so outgoing that a non-shy girl would get in the waywhen we’re chatting outside the bed.) the pet is glorious, fits us well,does what she’s told and loves it, adores us both, but doesn’t have adesire to steal either of us away from the other. She’s a good conversa-tionalist, Dollie and her love to chat when I’m busy, and shuts up whentold to. We really like her. the pet comes over two weekends a month,
from Friday directly after work until late Sunday night. We have a lot ofthree-way sex (which we record and put on our podcast, along with alot of great conversations we have), watch movies together, cuddletogether in a three-way kitty pile, and even go out on dates togetheras a threesome. We go shopping together, go to movies, go on picnics,and more.
I helped Dollie write a book called Diary of an S&M Romance. I
highly recommend you buy it and read it, and not just because
we wrote it. Read the reviews on Amazon, and you’ll see whythis book is such a fine resource for understanding the mindsand motivations of intelligent submissive women. Of course, it’sDollie’s perspective, and she doesn’t claim to speak for every
sub, but a lot of what she’s written resonates with other subs,so check it out. And review it on Amazon after you read it.
Diary of an S&M Romance andHOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S
BRAINS OUT are pretty much flipsides of the same coin. If
you’re serious about this stuff, whether you’re male or female,you should own both books. They form a complete set of themale/female kink dynamic.
And review HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT on Amazon,
even if you only downloaded it. If you don’t have an Amazonaccount – you have to buy something on there to have anaccount – start a free account on Podiobooks.com and reviewthis book. And review Diary of an S&M Romance on there .
(There are Podiobooks of both books.) And listen to “SUBMIS-SION AND COFFEE” our free BDSM podcast. It’s free. No iPodneeded, you can listen on your computer:
www.AskDollie.com
and be sure to review it on iTunes. It’s the number-one BDSMpodcast on iTunes Store, and we’d like to keep it that way. Wemet the pet on there. She is a listener, and offered to come overand do some free housework and ended up sticking around formore.ThornDaddy
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As for having a consenting sex slave, it’s not abuse. It’s not bad. It
doesn’t degrade the woman if it’s what the woman wants, if she wantsit and loves it like Dollie and the pet do. It’s glorious, and anyone whotells you otherwise is wrong.
You may be reading this book because you’re looking for a sex slave.
Or maybe you’re just looking to get laid, and aren’t at a place in yourlife yet where you want or need a sex slave. Or maybe you’re just notwired that way. If you just want to get laid, this book will help yousomewhat, help you learn to attract and fuck women. But it’s reallywritten specifically for men who want to find a smart, pretty, wonderfulslave to join them in a long-term symbiotic relationship that transcendsnormal “dating” or “friends with benefits.” Either way, keep reading,and this may all help you figure out what you want, if you aren’t sureyet.
Society’s view of BDSM
(quoted from Diary of an S&M Romance) Whenever they depictBDSM in movies, and especially on TV, it’s usually some serialkiller who’s got a tortured woman chained up in his (or her)bathroom. This is NOT BDSM, it’s not safe, it’s not sane, and it’scertainly not consensual. Therefore it does not fit the definitionof BDSM. This shit makes for good fiction, but it’s not how itplays out in my bedroom, and not how it plays out in millions ofhappy bedrooms the world over.
As far as how it’s viewed by the general public, BDSM is the new
homosexuality. BDSM occupies the same place in society nowthat homosexuality did 35 years ago.
The American Psychiatric Association quit considering homosexu-
ality a disease in 1973. Participation in consensual BDSM wasdeemed to be no longer indicative of mental illness in the year2000. Yet the stigma attached to BDSM still makes the thoughtof kink squicky to many folks, even otherwise-hip liberals.
BDSM is considered downright horrifying by a lot of people, even
a lot of people who partially or fully accept gays. If I told 20vanilla friends I’d decided I was a lesbian, 15 would probablysay, “Right on.” If I told 20 vanilla friends I like to have my manbeat me with a cane, and that I love it, 15 would say, “You needhelp, and you need to leave him. NOW!”
BDSM isn’t an illness. And we do have a long way to go….How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
23

A FEW ASSUMPTIONS
There are a few assumptions I’m making about you, the reader, basedon the fact that you not only picked up this book, but actually read thisfar. The assumptions are: You are of legal age. (You better fucking beof legal age. You have no reason to read this book if you’re not.) You’remale, you’re heterosexual, or at least bisexual. And you are not a sub-missive man, you tend toward wanting to take the dominant role withwomen, at least in bed, at least part of the time. (We’ll take about“switches”, people who are sometimes dominant and sometimes sub-missive in Chapter Eight.)
Homosexual men probably won’t take much from this book,
because this book is about attracting opposites, and truth betold, gay men have more in common with straight men thenstraight men have with women. All women are a differentspecies. But it’s a damn good species. Though, somehow, thisbook might be of help to you if you’re a gay woman trying tolearn more about attracting and satisfying women. And it mightbe of use to straight women to read and then teach to theirmen, or at least to help them understand what they might belooking for.
Regardless, I’m assuming you love women, love to fuck them (or want
to fuck them, if you’re still a virgin).
I’m assuming that if you’re still reading this far, you’ve got an open
mind. And you’re of above average intelligence. And most importantly,I’m assuming that you’re a good person. This is not a book for menwho want to “trick women” into fucking them. There are other bookslike that, but they’re written by cads. Throw away any advice you’veever heard about how to “get” women, because this is not that, andthat is evil. The wisdom you’ll learn here is not how to “conquer”, or“chase” women. This book starts with the fact that you don’t chasewomen at all. You have to know which ones to approach (or you letthem approach you), you tap them on the shoulder (figuratively or lit-erally), you make them smile a little, then you WALK AWAY AND LETTHEM COME AFTER YOU. There’s no chase in that. It’s not the thrill ofthe hunt, it’s the beauty of the dance.
Women are like cats. If you grab a cat and try to pet it, it will run
away. But if you pet a cat a little behind its ears, get it purring, let itsmell you, and leave the room, it will follow you. This is true withwomen, literally and figuratively.
We’ll start with that, and work forward. For this is not a manual on how
to “subjugate bitches.” It’s a set of principals on understanding bitches,ThornDaddy
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on loving them, on finding the ones who need to give up their control
to a man so deeply that it’s as integral a part of their being as whetheror not they’re left handed or right handed. AND, they may not evenknow it yet.
This isn’t a guide for how to “take advantage of women”. In fact, I hon-
estly believe that some woman should write “How to Fuck a Man’sBrain’s Out.” In fact, if some woman does, and it’s good, I’ll considerpublishing it.
DO NOT trick women, it’s a violation of life, AND can get you killed (or
castrated) in your sleep. And it’s bad karma. And word will get around.
ON MY USE OF THE TERMS “BITCH”, “SLUT”, “WHORE”,
“GIRL”, “CUNT”, ETC.: I use these terms with all the love in the world. And withabsolute respect for the stunning unexplainable thing thatmakes women different from, and maybe even superiorto, men, even when they’re on their knees begging tosuck dick. Many women love to be called these things, inthe throes of passion, by someone they love.
I never use these terms in person on women who don’t
want to have them used on them. I do not use them inthe generic. I don’t consider all women “bitches”, onlyones that might want to fuck me and like being calledthat before, during and after I fuck their brains out. I’mtalking here about women who love to be fucked dirty,hard, and love to be called “a dirty fucking slut” in thebed. But when I use these terms, I know it isn’t denigrat-ing the woman. I am into domination, but only withwomen who wish to be dominated. And I’m into domina-tion, but not into true degradation. I’ll call my lover “girl”(even though she’s an adult), I’ll call her a slut, I’ll callher “Daddy’s little cum toilet”, but I say it with a smile. Iwould NEVER say to her in all seriousness “YOU ARE APIECE OF DIRT! YOU ARE NOTHING!” There’s a big differ-ence. My words uplift women who wish to be uplifted inthat way. Telling a woman she’s “nothing” is beyondwrong.
This is a self-help book hidden in a fuck book. This book isn’t just about
how to fuck women, it’s about how to become a person worthy of asmany women as you’d like. It’s a book that contains the secret to life,as well as great tips for living life. And that’s all necessary to deserveHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
25

and enjoy women, and it’s necessary so you don’t fuck up and have a
woman kill you in your sleep. It happens.
Women are biologically better than men. Sure, on the average, men
are better at lifting heavy boxes full of widgets, but women can cum 60times in an hour. What would you rather spend your time doing?
Women claw at your back and drown you in orgasmic juices, become
one with the world from great sex, are totally resplendent, dig theirnails into the bed board and shudder with a beauty unimagined. Whenmen have their little squirt, they look more like they’re yawning bycomparison.
And a lot of women are able to satisfy many men in a night. The most
potent motherfuckers, like me, can only satisfy 3 or 4 women.
So, be nice to women. Even as you dominate them with permission,
realize they are more perfect creatures than men. Every woman is a lit-tle girl inside, a little girl who needs love. You are here to nurture that,to make her whole. So don’t fucking lie to them. Don’t outright lie, andalso don’t lie by implication. Don’t offer a future that isn’t real. Beupfront about your intentions, always.
DON’T BE AN HNG!
“HNG” is internet slang for “horny net geek”, and it’s not a nice thing tocall someone. But if it fits, you should look to change your ways.
An HNG is a man who does not understand the spirituality of sex, does
not have a lot of real-life experience with sex, but pretends he does onthe Internet. He’s the man (or often even boy) who acts badass, thinkshe’s a dominant male, but is only so on the Internet. If the HNG hashad real-life sex experience, it probably didn’t end well, and the womenprobably hate him now. HNGs are usually high-IQ geeks with no socialskills. They learn the lingo, but look at women as less than objects.They look at women as avatars in a real-life computer game.
A lot of HNGs will probably buy the book you’re holding, (or more likely
download it on BitTorrent).
HNGs often live in their mother’s paneled basement, well into their 40s.
Remember that “King of the Hill” episode “The Witches of East Arlen”,where Bobby Hill starts hanging out with some older guys in purplecapes who are into “Dungeons and Dragons” and fancy themselvesactual wizards? Hank Hill said of one of these guys, who had all theThornDaddy
26

markings of a horny net geek, even though he was never shown using
a computer, “Bobby, you don’t need a crystal ball to see Ward’s future.He’s going to live with his mother until she dies, and maybe for a fewweeks after.”
HNGs are the guys who will walk into a chat room (or into a real room,
if they’ve had some fake courage in the form of a few drinks) and yell“HEY BITCHES, WHAT’S YOUR AGE, NAME, AND WHEN YOU GONNASUCK MY DICK, BITCH???!!!”
Real men do not act like this, and real women don’t like this. If you
ARE an HNG, and are reading this book, you need to PayPal me 500dollars immediately, here on the donation site:
http://www.askdollie.com/donate.htm
I will use the money to buy nice things for several women, to helpundo the damage you’re about to do. It’s your tax. Pay it, NOW.
If you’re not an HNG, feel free to donate anyway. We’ll use it to
further the loving agenda of the ThornDaddy Foundation, theagenda of ending the war of the sexes by teaching dominantsand submissives to lovingly complete each other.
If you’re not an HNG, keep reading, eager male. This book “surrounds
hate and forces it to surrender.”
This book may change your fucking life.
CHAPTER 3
What Women Want
Romance and sex are like computers:
an interesting mix of science and voodoo.—ThornDaddy
Any man who thinks he’s “getting over” on a woman somehow by “get-
ting her” to sleep with him is sorely deluded. Woman don’t want to be“wined and dined”, “played” or otherwise manipulated.
Women decide, at least subconsciously, if they want to sleep with a
man the first time they meet him. Sometimes before, if he’s an artistlike me. (They get to “know” him through the art.) Women actuallyhave more “choice” in who they sleep with than men. Men will sleepHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
27

with any woman, in the right situation. Women will sleep with men who
they think would produce good offspring, even if they have no desire toever have kids. Even if their tubes are tied.
This is programmed into men and women. It harkens back to survival
of the species of primitive mankind. It exists in most animals, too: themale of the species tries to fuck as many females as possible, and thefemale tries to only mate with males that they feel (or that their DNAfeels) have a good chance at being a good provider, or at least a goodsperm donor.
Society has evolved to the point where no one has to go out and club
dinner over the head or starve. Women can earn their own living. And Ithink this is a good thing. But women are still programmed to find theright mate, and men are still programmed to fuck anything female oftheir species. But as part of this evolution, some women havesmartened up and pick men based not on ability to swing a club, but onability to capture their heart, mind and pussy. This is a very good thing,if you’re smart and funny, and a lot of these women are submissive.
The woman may prefer to be physically on the bottom during sex and
may be the receptor to the male’s aggressor, but the woman is actuallyon top-emotionally, spiritually, even with regard to economy of move-ment.
The woman ALLOWS the man to summit her submit, do ten times as
much work; grunt, sweat and generally look and sound ridiculous. Hehas his puny little squirt while she lies there, claws his back, emergesresplendent and if she’s forward enough to make him do what heshould, she has an orgasm that dwarfs his by a power of ten.
Since I believe that women are, as I’ve said, biologically superior to
men, then why do women (at least the ones I’m interested in) want tobe dominated by men? Again, it’s innate.
“HOW COME YOU NEVER FUCK ME LIKE YOU HATE ME ANYMORE?”
I used to fuck this girl, Debbie….I started fucking her the day I mether. . .she was a sawed-off, little bite-sized volumptuous snack packsex-thang….she liked me to be almost violent with her…call her names,tether her to the bed posts and lash her ass with a belt whilst fuckingher everyhole as hard as I could. As I got to know her, I began to likeand love her. For some reason I couldn’t fuck her like that anymore. . .Iwould make sweet, gentle love to her. She didn’t like that as much.She’d whimper…“How come you never fuck me like you hate me any-more?”ThornDaddy
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I know that men dominate women in fucking, I know that many women
want to be held down and violated. My fix on the stupid old saying,“Women just want to be dragged off to a cave and raped…” is myaddendum, “…WITH PERMISSION…BY SOMEONE THEY LOVE.”
True rape is horrible. Actual rapists should be ground into cat food. But good, hard consensual sex, the type I like, the type where two (or
more) people agree to have sex, and fuck each other’s brains out,when it’s done right, is consensual rape. There is something so arcaneand mystical about this dance that we do…it is somehow frighteninglybeautiful – as well as being beautifully frightening. A woman has it inher nature to want to be forcefully taken by a man. Kissing is lovemak-ing, and it is awe-inspiring….but fucking is not making love. A goodfuck is more a consensual rape then an act of love. That is the natureof the beast, and the beast of the nature.
I feel like Jesus’ son on all the smack in Manhattan when one of God’s
sisters is open before me like a flower, taking my cock deep into herwomb with rhythmic, convulsive swallows while clawing rivers into myback. And women feel about ten times as good as this if you hold ‘emdown and fuck ‘em right.
Unfortunately, a lot of women end up with assholes instead of loving
dominant men. The woman’s DNA confuses a hard attitude, a type-Apersonality, or even asskickings with strength. Women are programmedfor the survival of the species, automated to mate with the superiorpartner. But since society generally believes that dominating womenlovingly doesn’t exist, not much mainstream educational materials areavailable to women to show them the difference. So they end up withthe asshole, because none of their sweet sisters has sat down andexplained it to them.
But what a lot of women really want, is to for a sweet, smart man that
they love to “fuck them like they hate them.” And they want it donewith love, and respect, even as the man is calling her a filthy whore.And they want a man who can do all that, and make them smile andthink with conversation between all the orgasms.
WHAT YOU NEED TO HAVE TO GIVE WOMEN WHAT THEY WANT
Well, if we’re talking about submissive women, which we are, you needto be wired for it. A guy who has nary a dominant bone in his bodyprobably can’t pull it off, or at least can’t pull it off well.
As for being a dominant male, again, I’m not talking about that loudHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
29

guy at the party who needs to be the center of attention. I’m not talk-
ing about the guy who has a high-pressure sales job and lives to crushthe other guy, needs to “make it to the top” in business, romance andall of life. I’m not talking about the guy who gives his business card toevery skinny woman, only skinny women, and only to men if he thinksthey can do business together. I’m not talking about the guy whomakes himself feel better by making other people feel bad.
True sweet dominants, the kind that happy, loving sex slaves live to
serve are pretty much the complete opposite of this. They tend to avoidparties, and if they attend one, they’re happy finding the most interest-ing person there, male or female, and spending the night off to oneside intellectually interacting with that person. They don’t need to bethe center of attention. They tend to avoid conflict, don’t need to domi-nate the whole part of the world, only the little part of it that wishes tobe dominated. They tend to have interesting low-pressure jobs, manyare artists and many are self-employed and work at home, becausethey don’t want a boss (or anyone) dominating them. They’ve struc-tured their life in a way to maximize pleasure, and do not obtain pleas-ure from inflicting mental or physical pain on anyone. (Caning awoman’s ass who loves it is not inflicting pain. It’s giving pleasure tosomeone who wants it.) True dominants like to make people feel better,not worse, and most of them won’t discount a woman just because shedoesn’t look like a model on the cover of a magazine.
(If this all sounds like you, keep reading. If it doesn’t, go buy one of
those “How to trick women” fuck books.)
WHAT ELSE YOU NEED TO DATE A GREAT WOMAN
You don’t need to be rich, but do need to be self-sufficient. If you’rebroke, she’ll assume she’ll have to pay for everything. You shouldn’thave to treat her on every meal. (Women who expect this are to beavoided. They’re whores and they lie about it.) But you need to be ableto at least cover your own ass. But that’s not that hard. Most any full-time job that pays a little more than minimum wage can cover this, ifyou don’t live extravagantly. I don’t live extravagantly.
Even if you move in with a woman, you always need to have enough
money to leave at any time. Type-A guys buy spinning hubcaps. I buypossibilities by not buying spinners and keeping at least a few grand in
my own (not joint) bank account. My wife knows about this bankaccount. You shouldn’t need to keep it secret. Don’t lie to women. Ifyou have to lie to women, you’re either with the wrong woman (orwomen) or you’re the wrong man. I’m not sure I can change that, but Ican tell you what’s the right man.ThornDaddy
30

YOU DON’T NEED TO LOOK LIKE A MALE MODEL
Marge Simpson: “A woman will stay with a man she loves even
if his face is bitten off by crocodiles.”Homer: “I may hold you to that, Marge!”
There’s a lot of truth to this. And I’ve seen out-of-shape guys dating
hot women in the kink world. Because to most doms and subs, theeternal is more important than the external. Subs are usually in it forthe long run, looking for the run, and while looks may hold someimportance, it’s usually way below compatibility. Good subs and gooddoms are the same species, and we are all a different species from therest of the world. We recognize the glow of our own species when werecognize it.
CONFIDENCE
“A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows.”
— Chinese proverb
The only thing HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT has in common
with the other fuck books is that I’ll agree that confidence in men isimportant to women. And that’s pretty much the only thing all these“systems” can agree on with each other, either. (Again, mine isn’t asystem. It’s just me passing on my experience and hope to you. “Takewhat you need and leave the rest”, as they say.)
But my idea of confidence isn’t the same as the macho fuck books’ idea
of confidence. Again, it’s not the need to crush the other guy. It’s theability to feel comfortable in your own skin, be masterful at things youlove to do, and live to give.
There’s a movie that explains well what women really want. It’s called
The Tao of Steve ,
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234853/
The Tao of Steve stars a fat man as a total mellow laid back guy who
gets all the babes. The main character (named Dex, notnamed Steve,
ironically) never mentions dominance or submission, but he is, in away, a dominant male filled with pussy magnetism.
(Skip the last ten minutes of the film where Dex “learns a lesson” and
“changes his ways.” That’s the Hollywood influence. I’m sure some pro-ducer came along and tinkered with the script to put that in, to try toHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
31

make it “commercial”.
Dex is likeable, if sort of a scumbag. And he sort of has a “system”, but
only very reluctantly explains it after his male friends bug him about itfor a while. It breaks down to this:
First: Eliminate desire; you can not score if you want to score.
Second: Do something excellent in her presenceThird: Retreat; women will chase what they cannot have.
That’s pretty much most of it. Live the inner “Steve”, like Dex did.
Remain teachable, and inquisitive about life. Confidence as an adultcomes from being no longer childish, but remaining childlike in manyways. Be an adult but keep the kick-ass inquisitiveness of children.Most adults lose it. Especially Mike from Marketing. (“Mike fromMarketing” is my generic name for all of those type-A assholes.) Mikefrom Marketing lost his soulfulness, and his soul, the first day ofkindergarten. Because that’s the day he realized he could have funmaking other people miserable.
REMAINING TEACHABLE
The phrase, “A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man fol-lows” doesn’t mean to be mean or cocky or unteachable. There’s anoth-er famous saying about wisdom, “A wise man is wise because he knowshe doesn’t know everything.” (Or as the hair-rock pop band “Kansas”paraphrased it when I was 12, “…and if I claim to be a wise man, itsurely means that I don’t know.”) This is absolutely true.
When I was 20, I knew for a fact that I knew everything, and there
was nothing that I didn’t know. I knew it all. Now, at 44, I know much
more, and also know that I still have a lot to learn. That’s how youdon’t get old, regardless of your physical age…by remaining teachable.
And women love men who know a lot about a lot of things, but are stillopen-minded about what they don’t know.
A great way to show women that you’re open minded is to read a
paperback copy of this book in places where you’re likely to be seenreading it by potential fuck women. It’s a great ice-breaker.
If you downloaded this book as a free eBook, go to
www.ThornDaddy.com and click the link on the right to order the
paperback on Amazon. You can also buy one of our HOW TO
FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT T-shirts from that link. The T-
shirt should accomplish the same goal: conversation withwomen who love sex. And any bitches who approach you andtell you they’re offended by the title, or cover art, are immedi-ThornDaddy
32

ately crossed off your list. It’s not only a good ice-breaker, it’s a
good for weeding out the ones you shouldn’t waste time on.
Some lesser men would be afraid to be seen reading a book called
HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT . But truly sexy women will see
that while you may already be a good fuck, you want to learn every-thing there is about being a great fuck, and will probably strike up aconversation. Women love men who are into self-improvement.
A NOTE ON MY “I’M RIGHT, THIS IS HOW IT IS” TONE:
Any time I make blanket statements about “all women wantthis” and “most men like that”, know that I’m not judging you ifyou feel differently. I’m just saying what I like. As I’m a domi-nant male, I tend to be pretty adamant about my beliefs, in myhouse. That’s how the world works, in my book. And my book,thisbook, ismy house. I’m giving this book away free on the
Internet (as well as selling printed copies on Amazon), so if anyone doesn’t like it, they can have a cheerful refund on theirzero-dollar purchase price. And if none of this suits you, hey,write your ownbook.
And I understand “YKINMK”, a common kink acronym for “Your
kink is not my kink”, which basically means “As long as it’s safe,sane and consensual, I won’t judge it.” Kink is so ostracized thatwe have to at least be kind to each other, because the rest ofthe world isn’t nice to us.).
If you really want to know what women want, don’t skip reading
Appendix One of this book, “Interviews With Seven Kinky Women AboutWhat They Want and Need”. It’s a batch of female friends of mine,telling you what they want and need from men, in their own words .
But if you want my summation of it, from my position as glorious fuck-
er of women, here it is:
Keep your bitches feeling safe, not just feeling it, but really
KNOWING it, and you can use them for your own pleasure, andthey’ll thank you. But you have to understand that calling thema slut doesn’t make them less than you. In fact, they are morethan you. A good woman who makes your life better, not worse,is the most precious gift you’ll ever receive. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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CHAPTER 4
Who to Fuck
(To any fussy grammar nazis who beat off to Strunk & White
and think “Hey, this should be ‘ Whom to Fuck’ rather than ‘ Who
to Fuck’, you’re not on top of it enough to know that mostexperts agree that, due to common usage influencing the lan-guage, “whom” is becoming archaic and optional. “Who” worksfor both subject and object now. So there.)
Half the world is women. And they’ve all got some secrets under their
skirts, and many will share those secrets with you.
When I use the word “fuck” in the title HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S
BRAINS OUT , I’m not just talking about intercourse. Sure, that’s a lot
of it. But I want to teach you everything else that will make you able tobring a woman want to be your love slave.
It’s a lot to know. A lot inthe bed, and a lot outof the bed. A lot in
your soul. And you’ll never have as much fun practicing something you
learned in a book. Ever.
If you do everything in this book, you can own a woman’s entire
body and her mind. But some skirts are better sweet candy tomake you happy, and others are a good bet at driving you nutsor even ruining your life.
Here we’ll break it down:DON’T FUCK KIDS
This is rule number one. Don’t seduce kids, you’ll go to jail. And you’ll be scum. Kids have ahard enough time as it is being kids without you sticking your dick inthem. And in jail, you’ll be raped, beaten and murdered. Killers needsomeone to look down on, and that someone is kiddie touchers. ThornDaddy
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Age of consent is 18 in many places, lower in some places, and higher
in other. Find out what the age of consent is in your community. I’m nolawyer, and this is not legal advice (nothing in this book constituteslegal advice; if in doubt, consult a lawyer). But know the age of con-sent is in your state and country. And keep in mind that if you fuck ayounger person in a place where that’s legal if you live there, you canstill go to prison in your own country, for sexual tourism .
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_tourism
Basically, my feeling is this: Beyond the fact that you could go to prison
for a long time, and beyond the fact that I am usually attracted towomen over 30 only, and have no attraction to children, children can-not really “consent.” Even if they’re into it. Children are too inexperi-enced with life to make informed decisions concerning something asheavy as sex.
And I know there’s arguments about this, and often these age of con-
sent laws are made by Christians who follow a Bible filled with girls whogot married at age 12 or 13 to older men. But that was ritualizedabuse, and I find no fun in the idea. And times have changed, and it’s a
good thing.
A good place to start with age of consent is here:
www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
but keep in mind, it changes from time to time in places, it can be dif-
ferent depending on the age and sex of the people involved, and any-way, don’t take legal advice from a fucking Website! Again, consult alawyer.
Anyway, check the chick’s ID. And anyway, it’s better to fuck older
women, women old enough that you don’t even need to check their ID.Then you will never have this issue. And they’re just better, for a num-ber of reasons I’ll enumerate below.
DON’T FUCK ADULT KIDS
Don’t seduce adults who are emotionally or mentally kids. It’s not fairgame. They can’t really “consent” either. They’re too broken, or toostupid.
Most fuck books teach you to only “target” this type. I say “fuck that.” I
like a challenge. I also like to be able to have a meaningful conversa-tion between fuckings, conversations that don’t involve fashion, realityTV stars, Harry Potter or popular music. If you’re smart, you will too. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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DON’T FUCK MARRIED WOMEN
Don’t fuck married women. And yes, I’ve seen a fuck book that specifi-cally teaches you to target married women. The “writer” does have abit on why it’s morally OK (I disagree), but doesn’t mention anythingabout the more pressing issue: The woman’s husband may literally kill
when (not “if”) he finds out.
And he probably will find out, no matter how pissed or disappointed
with him the wife seems right now. If she gets back with him, she’ll tellhim everything. She loves him. That’s why she married him. She’ll tellhim all, including names, and he’ll blame his shortcomings on yourather than himself, and come gunning for you.
This type of shit is far less common in the kink community than
the vanilla world. There are exceptions, but it’s been my experi-ence that kinky men are far less likely to lie to get into some-one’s pants, and kinky women are far less likely to cheat ontheir man.
Since kinky people are more honest about sex and how it can
exist with and without love, kinky couples tend to be more openwith each other, less insecure, and more open minded about sexin general. Kinky people also tend to be more open to the ideaof having different partners in their lives to fulfill different needs.It is not uncommon for a kinky person to be married to theirkinky spouse, and one or both of them to have another kinkyperson on the side, and everyone knows about everyone. This iscalled polyamory . Here are two good places to start if you’re
interested in learning more about “poly”:
www.polyamory.org
www.polyamoryonline.org
Don’t fuck married women, or women with boyfriends, unless they havea sane poly agreement with their significant other, you’ve talked to him,and he’s not crazy. (Talk to him on the phone. Any crazy woman canmake up a fake e-mail address and write you pretending to be her hus-band.) Make sure they have no entanglements. Ask them, and use thatterm. Ask them, up front, “Do you have any entanglements that willcomplicate my life? Do you have any ex-lovers you’re still in love with,or who are still in love with you? Do you have any men who feel theyhave a claim on you? Anyone getting out of prison soon that I shouldknow about? Any stalkers? Over-protective brothers? Anything? Let meknow now, please. My life is good, fucking you could make it better, butI need to know if there’s anything that comes with the deal that couldmake it worse.” ThornDaddy
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KNOW YOUR RIGHTS
Certain types of “abhorrent sex” (i.e. the bulk of this book) are illegalin some places, even between consenting adults. Even between marriedconsenting adults. God only knows what gives lawmakers in someplaces the idea they should have the right to regulate what adults do intheir beds, but in many places, they do. Much of this is protected in theUnited States by Supreme Court interpretations of the Constitution ofthe United States. However, there are many US lawmakers, particularlyin Texas and Alabama, who would love to wipe their ass with theConstitution and jail adults who use a vibrator on their wife or haveconsenting bondage sex with other adults or have consensual same-sexrelations. Fuck those lawmakers in the ass with a giant spiked dildo andno lube. Shame on them. They’ll burn in their Christian hell when theydie, because God loves orgasms. All of ‘em.
Dollie and I know our rights, and take them very seriously. And
we like to share our bit of knowledge with others. Episode 95 of“SUBMISSION AND COFFEE” is Dollie Llama reading the com-plete Constitution of the United States, including all amend-ments. Get it free here:

This was blogged by a lot of people and got hundreds of thou-sands of downloads the first week it was up. Wired magazine called this reading “a civics lesson on youriPod.”
FUCK OLDER WOMEN AND PLUMP WOMEN
Age is wisdom, when it comes to sex. Older women are better at sex. Atired old plump sex pot in lingerie and lipstick is infinitely more sexy tome than a 22-year old skinny “pretty” (but willful) hottie in a bikini. I’drather look at photos of (and meet in real life) some port-of-booty-callwhore who’s belly is a sperm garden and has a sign over her chamberdoors that says “billions and billions served.” (Though I would neverpay for such a woman, or anywoman. I have never paid for sex, and
never will. We’ll talk more about this in Chapter Five.)
I can find the beauty inside any woman, and bring it out. So can you.
And it’s easier than fighting with the type-A assholes for younger bitch-es and the skinny models. Skinny girls will kill you in your sleep, or atleast marry you, wait until you’re rich, divorce you, and take it all.
Sure, there are a few skinny and/or young girls out there that will
make you sexually happy, and not drive you nuts, but it’s been myHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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experience that young and plump or older and skinny is better, and
older and plump is golden.
And you can spank or cane plumpers on the ass harder and longer
without hurting them, and they tend to like to be spanked more, any-way. And I find that plump women tend to be more into anal sex.
Also, since most of the world is ageist and fatist, if you have an older
and/or plump woman, fewer men are going to try to “steal” her fromyou.
Note: I am not ageist. I would totally do a 19-year old plump
girl with my wife, if the girl wasn’t crazy, willful, and wouldn’t killus in our sleep. I am thinist – I don’t usually like skinny women.(See my formulae for fattening up skinny bitches in Chapter
Eight.)
AGE AND LOOKS
Plump young women have a firm plumpness to them. It looks and feelsgood. But all mammals, as they age, lose elasticity in their skin. Plumpolder women, especially if they’ve had a few kids, and/or gained andthen lost some weight a few times, tend to have stretch marks, whichdo not look firm, particularly in their boobs, tummies and asses. Nomatter, just put her in a slip and dim the lights, and she’ll look and feelgood. Hell, all women should be fucked in a dim room in a slip. They alllook and feel better that way. It’s a more mystical, religious experience.
GOOD TO GO
Also, if you look at a woman’s profile on an online site and she lists“anal sex” as something she likes, you’re probably golden. Even if youdon’t like or need to fuck a woman in the ass, women who love to befucked in the ass tend to love all the other things I do that make awoman my slutty little slave, in and out of the bed.
MAKE ‘EM PRETTY
If they look lonely (in porn or in real life), especially older gals, I don’tlook at them as pathetic. Women are dealt a shitty hand in this world,just by being women. I look at women as beings I can make happy.Not like “Oh, that fat bitch will be grateful for my cock, it’s charity.” No,not at all. More like “How can I be of service, and make her happy foran hour or three? Make her feel beautiful. Hell make her BE beautiful,even if only while wearing my pretty cum inside and out.” I’ll pet herand kiss her and treat her like a goddess.
The more I pleasure women with my tongue, cock and words and
hands, the more God loves me. ThornDaddy
38

My friend Reuben once told me, “A REAL man will have sex with any
woman, anywhere, any time.” And I agree. I’ll fuck any woman from 18to 80 who will get down with my plan, not try to push me around, domy bidding, put on a slip, lipstick and pumps (high heels), let me useher majestically and poetically as my little sperm-garden pleasuredump, and say to me “You can do anything you want”, and mean it.And we’ll both walk away from it smiling.
Sure, I’ll turn the lights down low, but that’s not because I don’t wanna
see her. (I’d turn the lights down low even to fuck a skinny college girl,if I had any reason to do that.) Turning down the lights is to intensifythe mood, heighten the other senses, and create a cloud of pussysmell, perfume, soft touch, shapes, textures, tastes, and love.
A real man will fuck, and even go down on, a woman on her
period. Don’t be a bloody pussy about pussy blood. Love it, liveit, lap it. And use your finger to draw pictures on her belly withit. And she’ll thank you for not being a pussy.
I will lick the pussy and (clean) asshole of most any woman. I will kiss
most any woman. I will lay most any woman down, pet her all over,whisper sweet somethings in her ear, celebrate her breasts and throatand inner thigh with my hands and tongue and cock, then hold herhands up over hear head and, with permission, nail her to the fuckingcenter of the earth with my cock.
I once wrote in my notebook:
There is no illusion as radiant and tentative as the endless reali-
ty of just about any woman crocking on your knob. It reallyhelps if the woman loves you and is is pretty and dressed in lin-gerie in a warm and radiant room full of candles. But hell, some-times I’d settle for dirty quick sex with an anonymous bull dykein a flannel shirt standing up in a truck stop men’s room. I ain’tpicky. Girls that suck dick are Beautiful girls.
Free my Soul in the slavery of your mouth. Exonerate me baby,
all night long. You are my rockin’ pussygata endorphin toilet.Strangers are lovers I just haven’t met yet.
Of course, this was me before I was married. In a hot punk band, tour-
ing the world, with all kinds of women throwing themselves at me. Itend to have exceptions now, and they’re less based on looks than onpersonality. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
39

I love beautiful women, I venerate them. My wife is beautiful. (She also
loves to fuck, loves sucking cock as much as she loves to fuck, is agreat conversationalist but knows when to shut up. She’s a really goodwriter, artist, cook, and housekeeper, even on top of that, she has agood job, owns our house and makes me smile. A lot. And she nevernags me. About anything. Ever.) But I can find beauty in most women,bring it out and play with it. But I won’t fuck crazy women anymore,because I only fuck women with my wife, and crazy is a hard limit forher.
DON’T FUCK CRAZY GIRLS
Crazy girls are usually easy to get into bed, are usually great lays, andare ALWAYS NOT WORTH IT !
Crazy girls: “I don’t have to do that anymore.”And don’t fuck girls who are “magazine cover gorgeous”, know it, and
act like the world owes them something for it. They’re all crazy girls, orat least will become crazy girls once their youth starts to fade and theyrealize they have nothing else.
BETTER
Better is pretty girls who don’t know it. And smart, but not quite assmart as you. (Though my wife and I have the exact same high I.Q.And we’re both Geminis, if that holds any credence with you.)
It’s good if your mate has similar interests, and you’ll do even better if
you can also mentor and teach her. She should have slightly lower self-esteem. Not so you can take advantage of her, but so you can nurtureher, guide her and boost her esteem. Maybe a little plump. Or a lotplump. And older. Older girls better. Divorced women with adult chil-dren who don’t live in the same state are best. Again, you want noentanglements.
I don’t usually fuck gals under 30. Gals under 30 usually don’t know
what they want from life. They aren’t as experienced sexually, haven’tusually loved and lost hard, and are still girls in some ways. I likewomen, not girls. And I’ve researched this a lot, on my journey of fuck,and I find that the smart fucker guys usually go for the older, not theyounger, women.
I don’t usually fuck skinny girls. I don’t find them as attractive as curvy
bitches. I’ve researched this a lot, on my journey of fuck, and I findthat the smart fucker guys usually go for the plump, not the bone. ThornDaddy
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I like plump girls. They’re better in every way. They eat what they
want, fuck who they want. And they can’t get enough of the things thatmake life fun: cock, laughs, food, the anointed blessing of semen ontheir belly, even booze and drugs. Plump girls do not deny theirdesires. Whereas skinny bitches are so hungry, they’ll kill you in theirsleep.
Plump girls rock. And I like the look and feel. My life’s a plump buffet…Basically, my advice to you, eager male, is this: You will probably have
a better sex life if you mostly only fuck women at least ten years olderthan whatever age you’re at, and only fuck women that are at least 20pounds heavier than that skinny bitch in your past who made your lifehell. (We all have one of those in our past, right? Right.)
Sleep with older women and plump women. They’re more adventurous
and more into doing what it takes to be taken round the world in yourbed. You can make them wear slips, pumps, lingerie, perfume, lipstick,etc. You can spank ‘em too, and they’re likely to like it, and not havethe issues with it that younger and skinnier women will have.
From Diary of an S&M Romance:
…I love how that much sex makes a woman look. When you think about it, everything women do to make them-
selves more attractive is to make them look fucked, ravishedand ravishing. When you fuck a woman for hours, her hair ratsout (looks like teased hair), her lips get swollen and red (colla-gen injections and lipstick), her cheeks flush (rouge), her eyesswell and the lids turn dark (eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow) andshe smells pretty (perfume).
All this “girling up” (and also the spanking) makes it easier and more
fun to fuck them over and over. And if you want, it will be easier tokeep them coming back.
Older is good. Plump is good (even if they’re younger). Older and
plump is best, especially if they’re divorced. Not because they’re easierto bed, but because they have more experience. Fucking a womanwho’s been fucked for 30 years of her life is better than fucking some-one who’s been fucking for five years. The more experienced lover is abetter lay. And you’ll become a better lay, intuitively, simply by inter-acting with her body. Fucking middle-aged divorcees is the grad schoolof sex. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
41

And find a good listener. A girl who can listen, can add interesting inter-
actions, but one who knows when to shut up. My wife has no problemwith me saying “Daddy needs to think” or “Daddy’s doing math, dear”(I call anything complicated on the computer “math”, even if it does notinvolve numbers, because it feels like math to my brain) and she willshut up. She knows her place, and it is this: as a glorious creature whois magnificent enough to complete me.
TRAINING YOURSELF TO PREFER THE BETTER WOMEN
You may have a bias against plump or older women. If you do, you’rewrong. That bias was put there by mainstream media magazine covers.By the billion-dollar industry of making women feel they’re not skinnyenough, so the industry can pick their pockets by remote control afterbreaking down their souls.
Teach yourself to undo this. Look at a lot of plump girl porn and mature
lady porn. I recommend
www.thehun.net
And look at the archives (listed by month) at the bottom of that page.
Also make sure you check out the Hun’s overflow:
www.thehun.net/overflow/
Bookmark those two pages and check back often, as they’re both
updated daily (!)
Looking at porn of non-young non-skinny bitches is a great way
to train yourself to appreciate the finer things in life, and notbuy into “the lie.” (I’ll look at skinny bitch porn once in a while,but only if the women are doing something really filthy, likefucking five men, or licking a stranger’s asshole in a public rest-room. Of the 1200 porn images I have on my hard drive at anygiven time, probably 30 of them are skinny bitches. And I feelthe same way about them in real life as sex partners.)
Porn is great. It is not anti-woman. As Lydia Lunch said, “No
pornography exploits women. It exploits men. It’s the men thatare made to look stupid, silly and ridiculous, chasing after thegolden elixir. Women look beautiful, do what they wanna do andget paid for it.”
Real porn, with real people having real sex (usually amateur
porn, not that slick North Hollywood shit) is amazing. It’s beauti-ful. Porn often captures the moment of orgone joy when awoman is at her freest, her most stunning, like a snapshot of aThornDaddy
42

butterfly emerging from the cocoon. Good porn shows the
microsecond when a lady opens her soul and pours it out on thebed for all to see. Good porn is art, poetry, and magic, all in asingle frame or clip.
TheHun.net has the best free porn anywhere. Seriously. It’s just links
to other sites, they don’t host porn. But the other sites all have imagesand videos on the linked sample page without you having to pay orsign up. They’re all ads for pay sites, but they all have 10 or 20 GREATimages on each free page. Click on the thumbnails, get the large ver-sion, right click, and save. (After you get a few, you’ll have to start typ-ing random characters at the end of the file name, because many usethe same file naming conventions.)
Hit “CTRL” and F and search on TheHun.net’s pages for the terms
“plump”, “mature”, “old” “wife” “BBW” “grandmother” “grandma” “fat”and “curvy”. Amass a HUGE collection of still images and videos. Lookfor girls older and fatter than you’re looking for, as well as what you’relooking for. Put them into a slideshow program (I recommend “WindowsPicture and Fax Viewer” on a PC, and “Preview” if you’re on a Mac.)Whenever you have some free private time, put on your slideshow andbeat off. It helps if you find the photos of women in lingerie (curvywomen, as I’ve said, look best in lingerie), lipstick, pumps, on theirknees or backs totally submitting to a man, or to several men.
Skinny young bitch porn doesn’t do it for me. Bah. Pleah. Boring .
You can also have your bitch blow you while watching a slideshow of
porn. I recommend the “Laptop Laidback” laptop holder for this.
http://www.laptop-laidback.com/
You can set it up over your belly like a TV tray while your bitch, orbitches, service your sacred cock. Throw some photos of your bitch intoyour porn folder, so you can make her feel involved. While she’s blow-ing you, tell her when her picture shows up and tell her she’s hot.
You can also put your porn, especially the video, on and have your
bitch watch it, often. Either with you, or while you’re busy working onthe computer or whatever, waiting and available to have her pussy, assand mouth at your service. Watching lots of porn will teach her the bestways to suck a cock, if nothing else.
(Dollie adds, “If it’s plump and/or mature porn and she’s plump and/or
mature, it will make her feel beautiful, sexy and validated. All the bet-ter to gleefully do your beautiful bidding.”)How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
43

After a few months of watching old lady porn and plumper porn, you’ll
forget about those 20-year-old willful skinny bitches that most peoplethink they like, and will get you on the path of the TRUTH, which isthis: plump bitches and older bitches are the best lays, HANDS DOWN!
BE PROUD OF WHO YOU FUCK
Ever heard that old biker joke?:Q. What does fucking a fat woman have in common with riding aMoped?A. It’s fun until your friends find out.
That’s wrong too. Fucking wrong. You should be proud of who you fuck,
no matter what. Tell that volumptuous beauty to doll up, do her make-up and hair, put on a pretty dress and then take her to the movies.Take her for dinner. Take her for a walk in the park and feed the ducks.Hold her hand. Kiss her well, kiss her hard, and mean it.
You should be willing to be seen with anyone you’re willing to fuck.
Walk with her proudly, arm in arm, as if to say, “Yeah, I’m fucking her.
And she’s cool. And I’m getting much more sex, and greater sex thanyou get from your skinny willful bitch who tells you what to do.”
Show off your woman. You’re more of a man that way. Treat your slut
like a goddess, and you’ll walk taller and more confidently down anystreet in the world.
SUBMISSION
I like submissive women. Not easy women, not garden variety “sluts”or “party girls.” Those types are usually NOT submissive, they’re usuallyreally selfish, and want to fuck a lot because it pleases them. Nor do I
like doormats. I like emotionally healthy, smart, sexy curvy women whoalso happen to be submissive. Not to everyone, but to men they love,to really cool men they like. These women exist. If you’re a dominantmale, but not a prick, not abusive, you can find them. In fact, they’realready looking for YOU.
Nor do I think all women should be submissive to men. Some men like
to be submissive to dominant women, and I think that’s just nifty.There is no inequality in submitting by choice. It’s not for everyone,and it’s not wrong. It doesn’t make a woman (or a man) less of ahuman to submit. In fact, it makes you more of a human, because
you’ve finally found your niche.
My wife and I do not fight. I make most of the decisions, she likes it,
trusts me, and it’s great. ThornDaddy
44

Submission to a good dominant is the end of the war of the sexes.
Period.
A SLUT female is a man with his dick turned inside out that she needs
filled.
A SUB / slave is a woman who has her soul turned inside out….she’s
been skinned and salted by life, and needs the RIGHT man to washthat salt off with his semen and kisses and love and make her whole.
That’s your job, and that’s who I recommend you fuck. Women who
want to be licked clean and celebrate this thing called life and celebrateit well, under your hand, under your cock, and under the spell of yourwonderful mind.
Chapter 5
How to Attract Women
ORGONE ENERGY AND SCENT Orgone Energy is a phrase coined by the great Austrian sex researcher
Wilhelm Reich, back in the 1930s.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgone
Basically orgone energy is “life force produced by having an orgasm.”This is related to, but contrary to, the Victorian belief that you have alimited amount of “life force” and every time you cum, you lose some.That masturbation will make you blind, harm your brain, body and soul,and even kill you.
The Victorians were wrong, and Reich was right. Sex energy is not
finite, it’s infinite. It doesn’t harm you, it helps you. Sure, smart sportcoaches tell their players “No sex the night before a big game”, but thisisn’t because you’re losing “life force.” It’s because coaches know that anight of good loving takes away your desire to destroy your opponent.It makes you feel at one with the world, and makes you a “lover, not afighter.” I maintain that if everyone fucked like me, there would be nowar. There would be no reason to kill your fellow man. You’d be toomellow, and who wants to leave the house to destroy someone whenyou can stay home and fuck your hot bitch (or bitches) over and over?No one. There’s a reason the US Government put saltpeter in the foodof soldiers in WWII. Saltpeter makes you impotent, keeps you fromfucking and masturbating, and sexual frustration makes you want toHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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kill, which makes for a more effective fighting unit.
Wilhelm Reich did research in which he created “orgone chambers”, lit-
tle rooms with special walls to trap the orgone energy. He paid youngcouples have lots of sex in the orgone chambers to fill them withorgone energy. Then he’d have someone with a chronic disease go sitin the chamber, and claimed he had evidence that the sick tended tofeel better and get better from soaking in the accumulated invisibleorgone energy.
Reich also felt that all human maladies, more or less from
stubbed toes to world wars, are a direct result of sexuallyrepressing people from a young age.
I’m not sure if I really think orgone energy can be stored in a room,
but maybe it can. I amsure that sex energy is stored in sex smell.
Living in a home full of billowing sex scent makes me more creative,more driven, makes me need less sleep, and will make me able to liveto 100, even though I smoke.
My bedroom is an orgone chamber. I call it “The Internest”. It’s
small, soundproofed, and the windows are boarded over withmultiple layers of various substances. It’s a sweet quiet respitefrom the world. I can’t hear much of the hip hop out on thestreet from passing rich kids in their trucks, and in my room, noone can hear you scream. Except me and my podcast micro-phones. My room exists to be fucked in.
I don’t allow Dollie to wash my sheets often. She washes them enough
so they don’t smell rancid (about twice a month), but we love to havethem coated with dried pussy juice, my cum stains, lube stains, driedfemale ejaculate (more on that in Chapter Eight) and the sex sweat ofthe wife, me and the pet.
The wife and I once calculated that between two sheet washings (about
two weeks), between the wife, me and the pet, over 1200 orgasms hadoccurred in that bed.
If you have a lot of sex in your bed, even if it’s just beating off, your
bed will smell like sex. Sit a girl who likes sex on this bed, talk to herabout the weather, but MAKE HER LAUGH, and she’ll probably end upnaked. The subconscious smell will touch her in special primal placesand let her open to you.
Even better if you’ve fucked a woman in this bed between sheet wash-
ings. ThornDaddy
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Pussy juice in your bed is an anointment. Don’t rush to wash your
sheets. Live with them. Love them. Love it. Luxuriate in the scent.
Same goes for your sacred body.
DON’T WEAR DEODORANTS OR ANTIPERSPIRANTS
This may be the most controversial thing you’ll read here, but it’s thekey. It works for me, and I get more pussy than a toilet seat, so youshould listen to me.
Don’t wear deodorant and don’t wear any antiperspirant. Deodorant is just scent, it’s a type of perfume. It hides the natural sex
scent that all humans produce from their underarms.
Antiperspirant is even more evil. It keeps you from sweating . It kills a
most basic function of physiology and homeostasis that is of paramountimportance to all mammals. And humans are mammals. You’re an ani-mal. Do not deny your intrinsic animal nature. Smell like a fuckingman, man! Not like some fruity fucking neutralized shaved ape sprayed
with perfume.
Dobathe (at least five days a week), douse soap (unscented; I recom-
mend Dove). But women who are attracted to men for sex and love,rather than for money, are attracted to the natural smell of a man. It’sfilled with pure sex pheromones (the smells that subconsciously attractmammals, and insects, to mate).
If you smell sweet, and maybe slightly of green onions, you’re
good to go. If you smell like pickles, it’s time for a shower, youfucking pig.
Make sure you wash your clothes at least once a week. If you don’t
have washer and dryer at home, and don’t have money to do that at alaundromat, do it in your sink, by hand. Wash your duds in warmwater, with dishwashing soap or even bar soap, squeeze them out withyour hands, rinse them out, and hang outside or somewhere insidewith good breeze and sun to dry. I did this for years before I got mylife together and started making money as a writer. There’s no shamein it. You do what you gotta do.
Dollie adds: and don’t use stuff like Febreze on your clothes. Then they
just smell. Fake fruity andsynthetically stinky. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
47

SCENT SCAMS
You can pay a lot of money for fake “pheromone cologne”, but it’s ascam. Those don’t work. Synthetics don’t work. Pheromones have to bereal, and they have to be yours . Don’t buy that inert crap. Send me
your money instead, or burn it. All three give you the same result:broke and unfucked. You’re an idiot if you think you need fake crap topaint on your body. Use your God-given MAN SWEAT to attract thebitches.
Even my cats know my natural musk is tasty. When I wear a shirt for a
day and toss it on the floor, if I haven’t worn deodorant for a while, mycats will roll in the shirt and sniff it and play with it, for hours. Andremember: women are like cats.
One of our squittens sniffing my shirt, and guarding it jealously
(Note carpeting on the walls of my nest,
for added soundproofing and sound conditioning.)
(And while we’re on the subject of “pheromone cologne” scams, forget
about “male enhancement” pills. Another fucking scam, according tothe FDA and a few guys I know who’ve tried them. Just more picking ofyour pockets by remote control – by playing on your fears of dyingalone and unloved. If you do the things in this book, you will not dieThornDaddy
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alone and unloved.)
JUST STOP!
Just stop wearing deodorant, change your shirt every other day insteadof every day, stay clean otherwise, and you’re golden. (Make sure youfloss and brush your teeth, and brush your gums, tongue and theinside of your mouth, at least twice a day!) Women will flock to youmore than they do now. And it’s not the same women who flock toguys with lots of money, but better women. Women who love sex, and
don’t care about money.
You’ll probably have to have a job doing manual labor or working at
home to pull this off. If you work in an office or a department store, orin any kind of in-person sales, it will probably get you fired. But work-ing in an office is boring. (I’ve done it, a lot. I’ve also dug ditches.Digging ditches was more fun.) If you have a job where you can’t smelllike a man, get a different job. Lots of great pussy, even from onewoman, is more important and will make you happier than lots ofmoney.
Be careful. Natural male scents not only put women into heat,
they also make men angry. Stay away from type-A personalitymen once you stop killing your scent. These apes may pick upyour scent as a challenge for territory, and act accordingly.Myself, I just avoid men in general and mostly just hang outwith women. Women are better.
Also, you should probably wear antiperspirant (but not deodor-
ant) if you’re going deep into the woods anywhere there arebears or wolves or other predatory large animals. They will smellyou a lot quicker if you smell like a human animal, and may alsotake the scent as a challenge. And their noses are a lot morefucking sensitive than Mike from Marketing’s nose.
Warning: if everyone stops killing their God-given scent, society will
collapse. If everyone quit wearing deodorant, everyone would stayhome, fuck all the time, lose their job, and nothing would get done.Trash would pile up, food deliveries would stop, store shelves would goempty, we’d all starve. So yeah, deodorant is required for a civilizedsociety, but who wants to be very integrated into civilized society any-way? I’m not.
I showed a draft of this chapter to my friend who works as an
economist for the US Government. He said the above paragraphwas his favorite part. He also said, “Dude, there are millionairesHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
49

who don’t live as well as you.”
I said “I thought about you while I was writing that part about
society collapsing, and I figured you’d love that paragraph. It’sthe economic projection of what would happen if every manfucked like a king. Kings don’t get up in the morning and go tothe salt mines.”
Keep in mind that antiperspirants can tend to keep you from smelling
like a man for several days, through several showers. If you have a jobyou want to keep, take your two-week vacation and stop slathering thatstuff on your pits your last day before vacation. Shower daily, or eventwice a day, to get that shit off of you. By day three of your vacation,you should start smelling like a man again, can cut back on the show-ers, and are ready to go out and reclaim your divine shaved-Yetibirthright, and attract women by smell.
Sex begets sex. Having your bed, and yourself, smelling like sex will
get you laid if you’re not getting laid, and get you laid more if you are
already getting laid.
Sit with a girl on a bed that smells like sex, and the male and female
pheromones will get her intothat bed. And don’t bathe after sex. The
pussy smell, even if subliminal, will bring other women into your world.
Smelling like a man will help you get bitches. If you smell like a man,
go to a party and just mingle. Be yourself, be confident, but not cocky.You don’t need to be the alpha-male type-A asshole, just hang out. Talkgirls up, stand near them, and they will find themselves intrinsicallydrawn to you.
Smelling like a man will also help you keep bitches, once you get them.
Sometimes, with the wife and the pet, all I do for foreplay is say“Bitches in the bed, NOW!” They scurry their little asses in frilly slips upon either side of me. I pull the covers over us, they bury their noses inmy armpits, I cuddle them and kiss their heads. Within a minute,they’re both humping my legs like dogs, and then I start fucking them,one after the other, sullying their sacred souls with my sanctified seed,back and forth, one to the other. When I’m recharging for the nextfuck, they lick each other.
It’s a beautiful thing. I lead a life better than many kings, and you can
too. Stop wearing deodorant, be funny, be yourself, and pretty soonyou’ll have your own bitch or bitches doing your lovely divine biding.
CONFIDENCE
We covered this in Chapter Three, but I’ll reveal more here.ThornDaddy
50

Sexy, submissive women like men who are genuinely confident, but not
cocky. That’s what women REALLY want….at least the women worthfucking, and the ones worth talking to, which are the ONLY ones worthfucking.
The best thing for building confidence is to do something nice for some-
one else (human or animal), without expecting anything in return.Teach someone some computer skills. Volunteer at the SPCA. Seriously.Be selfless, and don’t make a show of it, and you will become moreconfident.
HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN
Don’t talk to women like they’re that different from you. Talk to womenlike they’re guys, sort of. Don’t have a different persona for womenthan for men. Be yourself. Think of them as guys, and forget for aminute you wanna nail them to the center of the earth with your cock.If it’s hard to forget this, practice by talking to women you are notattracted to, or women who are unavailable to you for some reason.Also, masturbate frequently. Then you won’t be as “hungry” when youtalk to women, and it can just be about what it should be about: onemind and soul connecting with another.
DON’T EVER PAY FOR SEX
Don’t pay for whores, and don’t go to strip clubs. That’s a creepy kindof desperation in and of itself. And even with a whore, you’re paying forthe illusion of sex. The women don’t like you, and they pretend to like
you. That is so antithetical to everything I believe, on a cellular leveleven. Men with true confidence, the mellow, smart, creative ones, don’thave to pay for sex. Type-A assholes pay for sex. Mike from Marketingpays for sex.
Rollins said it well. He has a spoken word thing where he basically says
that men in our culture who pay for sex would have been the men inprimitive society who would have had to stay back with the womenpounding corn while the real men were out slaying beasts to feed thetribe.
I’m no fucking corn pounder.
PUSSY BEGETS PUSSY
Desperation, especially sexual desperation, is a huge turn-off towomen. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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If you’re desperate, fuck ANYONE to get the smell of desperation off
you and make you start smelling like sex. Remember: PUSSY BEGETSPUSSY.
When you don’t get laid for a while, it gets harder and harder to get
some. Women smell desperation like dogs smell fear. To break this, fuckthe girl none of the other guys are after. Let the “players” negotiate theskinny model bitches at the party, the bitches who will probably ruintheir lives and end up owning half their shit. You go for the girl sittingalone at the party looking like she wishes someone would come overand talk to her.
Go for the fat girl at the party. Or the plain looking girl. Or the lonely
girl. Or the girl who’s all three. She’s probably way cooler than thatblank bimbo clotheshorse willful skinny bitch that Mike from Marketingis trying to “score” with, anyway.
Chat up this lonely girl at the party. Or at the park. Or in your
advanced C++ programming class. Chat her up, and connect with hersoul, for real . Then take her home, be sweet to her. Not as an act, but
for real. Then fuck her really well. Treat her like the slutty goddess sheis inside, and bring that out. Make her not only feel pretty, but makeher bepretty. Fuck her all night long, and call her the next day at work
and tell her how fun it was. And mean it.
Not only are you making one of God’s sisters happy, but they’re usually
really appreciative and dirty in bed. Most important, you will stopsmelling like desperation and start smelling like sex. And if she ends upliking you and you end up attracting other women from your newfoundsmell and confidence, don’t pick between them. Fuck them both, in thesame bed at the same time. Start building your harem and living like aking in your own apartment.
I done gone without gettin’ any fifi for a while before, and it gets hard-
er each day because you’re further and further away from the last timeyou made a woman into a goddess in your bed. But pussy begetspussy. When it rains, I drown. And I love it.
You can too.A friend of a friend of mine said it well: “You’ll start getting laid when
you stop looking to get laid.”
BE FUNNY AND BE EXCELLENT
Remember The Tao of Steve if only for the “be excellent in her pres-
ence” part. This means be really really good at something, and let herThornDaddy
52

see it. Not in a “check this out, I’m so cool” way, but have occasion to
show her the things you’re amazing at, whether that’s telling jokes,organizing spreadsheets, wrestling bears, doing ballet, or playing guitarin an angry nu-metal band. Women love excellence, because their DNAtells them “This man has skills that would pass on to my offspring. Hewould make a fitting mate.”
Speaking of jokes, if you’re naturally funny, you definitely have an
advantage. Humor is one of the most important skills a human canhave. All humor is basically directed, in some way, at death. All humansknow they’re going to die, and most of them are, at least secretly, ter-rified of this. Humor laughs at death, puts it into perspective, andmakes us feel a little better about the one thing we’re truly powerlessover in this life.
A fat slob who makes everyone laugh, is selfless, confident, but not
cocky, has a much better chance at a great sex life than that skinnyfuck Mike from Marketing in his fancy suits and expensive car.
“Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we
hate so we can buy shit we don’t need.”—Fight Club
PUSSY BEGETS PUSSY (2)
This time I mean pussy, as in cat.
If you are a caring person, and have time, get a cat. Women dig cats.
Don’t get a cat just as a prop to attract women, get a cat because youlove cats, and because having and caring for a cat will make you a bet-ter person, which will make you more attractive to cool women.Celebrate the Healing Power of Cats!
There is no better pussy magnet than cats. But you shouldn’t have cats
unless you love cats. And having cats will change you in ways you can’timagine, all for the better. Cats are mythical beasts incarnate. They willteach you their ways. And cats are much like women. And if cats likeyou, women like you, even if they don’t know you have cats. But whenwomen do see that you dohave cats, they’ll like you even more.
I used to be a volunteer kitty foster parent for the SPCA when I lived in
San Francisco. I’d get a kitten or two or three and take them home andlove them and socialize them for a month or two, bring them back, andget new ones. (It’s easier if you don’t name them. I called them all“kitty”.) In two years I had over 50 kittens in my home, a few at aHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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time. Socializing them makes them adoptable. If you don’t do it, they
become mean and no one takes them and they get put to sleep.Contact your local SPCA if you want to do this. you’ll have to take atwo-hour class on kitty care, and have to be willing to bring the squit-tens in immediately if they get sick, and it’s all totally worth it.
Also, loving and caring for an animal is good practice for being in a
relationship with a human. You have to love them all through thick andthrough thin.
Volunteer. Do things to be a better man. Stay out of parties, hone your-
self, devote yourself to being a fucker of women like a sex monk, amartial artist, devote all to it. There is no finer life that I know of.
Women are not deer to stalk and kill (figuratively and literally), It’s not
a chase. It’s a dance .
Women love this dance. They need you, and you want them. It’s natu-
ral. Don’t buy into anyone (religious types, Republicans, the man-hat-ing variety of feminists, etc.) who says otherwise. You were put on thisearth to fuck women, and to be kind to them, and to make them cumand scream, and you were put on this earth to help all types ofhumans, and all types of animals. A-men. A-mew.
THE NEST
When you bring a girl to your home, you want it nice. That doesn’tmean immaculate, and that doesn’t mean filled with tasteful items thatcost money. It basically means that it should be a nest. A perfect littlerespite from the world. An embryonic chamber of comfort to make herwant to be there forever, and to turn herself over to you, the king ofthat castle.
Oh yeah, and while it can smell like sex, it shouldn’t smell like rotting
garbage or cat shit. So get that shit out of your house daily, or you’llnever find a woman willing to do it for you.
Your home should be filled with nestables – things to make you, and
her, comfortable, and your home should reflect you. Nestables includeeverything from your bed to your snacks to some good audio or videomedia to enjoy with her.
My bedroom is all me. It’s within the house that is mine and my wife’s,
the house looks like both of our personalities, but I’ve basically built astudio apartment within one room. I didn’t even notice that until I’dlived here a year and the wife pointed it out with a giggle. I guess IThornDaddy
54

spent so many years living in clean small rat dens that once I moved in
with her, I made my own comfy rat den within her house. She loves itin my room. She loves to be among the Daddy things, immersed in theDaddy world.
Have a good mattress. Have enough pillows to prop two or three peo-
ple up for anything. Have decent sheets (high thread count, and notscratchy). If you’re going to make fucking a large part of your life, yourbed should invite long sessions of living on it.
Don’t have a TV in your bedroom. TVs kill romance, and they kill rela-
tionships. Get rid of your TV. If you need to watch something, watch iton DVD or download on your computer. (I recommend BitTorrent, andfor tracker sites, I recommend
www.ThePirateBay.org
and www.greylodge.org/gpc/
who not only have every movie every made between them, they alsohelped me release and spread this book to the world for free.)
Have some snacks. Women who love sex love snacks. And have slips
and pumps in a few sizes, for dressing your bitches up if they didn’tbring anything to wear in bed on the first date. You can have a fewpairs of pumps too. If they’re too big for her, that’s OK. Most womenfeel sexy in pumps that are too big. Reminds them of that distantmemory when they first tried on momma’s shoes as a little girl.
In addition to keeping a few slips and pumps, keep lipstick, vibrators,
lube (more on all that in Chapter Six), enema supplies and somethingto paddle her ass with. If you can’t afford all this, or can’t afford fancyass-slappers and such, just have the lube, a cheap slip and maybe aping pong paddle to spank her with.
You don’t have to buy women lingerie as gifts. Every woman in the
world has a slip and a pair of pumps in her closet that she’s alwaysdreamt of wearing for a man. That, some cheap pantyhose, a willingbitch, and some lipstick is all you need.
(I’ll explain in Chapter Seven how to carefully and safely cut a fuck
hole out of the crotch of pantyhose, while the girl is wearing them. It’sa fun power exchange.)
If a woman balks at being dressed up by stuff you keep in a box
by your bed for any woman who comes by, you might be withthe wrong woman. Or you may have to fuck her without all theclothes the first time. Hell, take one for the team and fuck hernaked, not in sex slave clothes, the first time. Once you fuck hermagnificently, once you own her ass from fucking her so majes-How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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tically, she’ll do and wear whatever you tell her to.
BIRTH CONTROL
If you want to attract women, it’s important that you do not have a“find ‘em, feel ‘em, fuck ‘em and forget ‘em” attitude, particularly withregard to procreation. Any man who gets a bitch knocked up andleaves is a scumbag.
It’s your duty as a man not to impregnate any women who don’t want
it, and who you won’t be there to help take care of the kid, throughadulthood, financially and as a MAN who steps up to the plate andcares for the kid.
It’s probably also your duty as a citizen of the Planet Earth to not have
ANY kids, and to get a vasectomy, NOW. The world population has dou-bled in my lifetime, from 3 billion people to over 6 billion people. (I’m44, born in 1964.) At the current rate of growth, it will be nearly tenbillion people by 2050, when I’ll be very old. You’re probably youngerthan me, and will probably live past when I die. Do you really want tolive in a world with 10 billion selfish screaming people who all want totake what you have? When the gasoline runs out, when the tempera-ture rises and seas rise from global warming, land starts to disappear,and droughts make food and water and livable land scarce. People car-jack now. In 20 years, people will house jack. People will kill you for
clean water. For food. For anything. Do you really want to bring a kidinto that? And do you want to contribute to that by having a kid?
“But I WANT a kid” I hear some of you saying. Well, you’re selfish.
Don’t have kids. The world is destroying itself. (And the Catholic Churchis responsible for much of it. They encourage overpopulation, and don’tencourage birth control.) The world has outpaced its ability to sustainand provide for itself. The world is becoming a deadbeat dad.
And a lot of people, especially religious people, are against abortion.
I’m all for it. As a wise man once said, “Sure, abortion is murder. Butit’s self-defense.”
But you shouldn’t look at abortion as a birth control option. Look at it
as a last resort, like if the rubber breaks and she gets pregnant. Anddiscuss kids ahead of time. I’d not recommend sleeping with womenwho want them, with women who might not have an abortion if,despite all precautions, they got pregnant.
Get fixed. You can get it done free at Planned Parenthood. Though
you’ll have to wade through seas of stupid Christians with protest signs.It’s worth it. And of course, the law requires that to get fixed, you haveThornDaddy
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to come back three times, to make sure you’re serious about it, while
any fool can have a kid. Getting a vasectomy requires a waiting period,like buying a gun. Hell, I think there should be a waiting period to havea kid, and vasectomies should be given away with no waiting at boothson street corners. In India, they used to give a radio away to anyonewho’d get fixed. They need to do that here. Maybe they could useiPods. (And fill them with me and the wife’s “SUBMISSION AND COF-FEE” BDSM podcast:
www.askdollie.com )
Women are attracted to men who care about birth control, so be ready
to care. If you won’t get fixed, use condoms, practice on your own untilyou get good at using them. Beat off with lube and porn, wearing acondom. Put a little lube INSIDE the condom. It takes some work, butyou can have incredibly hot sex with condoms.
LATEX ALLERGIES
Most condoms are made of latex. A small percentage of people areallergic to any contact with latex. This can be, in rare cases, fatal.
If you or your partner break out when touching latex condoms or
gloves, there are alternatives. For non-latex gloves (for fisting andmedical play, covered in Chapter Eight), you can get a box of 50 latex-free powered vinyl disposable gloves at CVS or other drug stores forabout six bucks. As for condoms:
(from yourtotalhealth.com):
“Trojan Naturalamb” is a lamb intestine natural membrane type
of condom. It is not generally as effective as latex condoms.Also, they do not protect the couple from HIV or from sexuallytransmitted infections.
“Avanti” and “Trojan Supra” are polyurethane condoms. The “Avanti” condom has many advantages over those made of
latex: Avanti is at least twice as thin and strong as latex con-doms. It is nonporous and non-permeable to all viruses, includ-ing HIV. It is safe for use with oil based lubricants and is hypoal-lergenic. This condom has been improved over the years and isnow only available in a SuperThin style.
The “Trojan Supra” is made from a highly advanced formula
called Microsheer. It is ultra-thin, soft and hypoallergenic. It hasno taste or smell. The “Trojan Supra” can be used with oil basedlubricants. It is practically invisible when placed on the erectpenis. The “Trojan Supra” is only available with spermicide atthis time.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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The desire to procreate is societal andinnate but we’ve evolved beyond
what world population allows. Fuck the blank food tubes and their needto create a carbon copy blob of themselves. It’s selfish, and it’s killing
our planet .
At this point in history, having kids is a crime against nature. Don’t be
selfish. Don’t kill my planet. And if you think I’m wrong, keep that inmind. Remember it in 30 years when you’re outside the gates of myranch baking of dehydration, begging for just one sip from my massivestorage tanks of clean water. Women in camouflage slips will be stand-ing on the roof of the compound with sniper rifles, defending me andmy water.
Overpopulation is not just the decline of western civilization, it’s the
end of the world as we know it.
WHAT TO DO ON A FIRST DATE
Make her laugh. Make her smile. Be excellent. Then Scare the hell outof her.
That used to be the formulae, back in quainter times. Take her to a
scary movie, and when she screams because the guy in a cheesy mon-ster suit jumps out in reel one, you hug her and reassure her. By reelthree, you’d be to “first base.”
Well, we’re in more complex times now. The movie monster is real, the
new monster movie is the Evening News. Or if you want more honestmonster reports, watch science shows about pollution, global warming,pandemics, overpopulation, and other disasters.
Discuss the fact that the world is coming to and end and “WE’RE ALL
GONNA DIE!” Smart chicks will be loosened up by this, and forget someof their societally implanted bullshit sexual “morals.” Hell, it works forme. We’re all gonna be dead or wish we were dead in 40 years the wayglobal warming is going, so why not make the best of the last few mil-lion moments on earth before the coastlines are flooded and the heart-land turns to dust?
Watch science shows and actual documentaries about how we’re all
gonna die. I recommend the History Channel and National GeographicChannel, my favorite two channels. (I love science shows, and girls wholove them usually love sex too, for some reason.)
Don’t watch some bullshit Hollywood movie on your first date, even if
it’s about how “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!” because if it is, in the thirdThornDaddy
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reel, some scientist will rush in, type furiously at the keyboard, and fix
everything and save everyone.
Everyone watches a movie on a first date. Have your date listen to our
podcast with you instead. It’ll either drive her out, or drive her intoyour bed.
Regarding our podcast: “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”. BDSM pod-
cast from a happily married couple.Free. No iPod needed:
www.AskDollie.com
And as we say, “Come for the sex, but stay for the talk.” Theepisodes, or “lessons” as we like to call them, are filled with alot of cool yacking, with tips on everything from how to make awoman cum to how to care for your cats, to how to keep peoplefrom stealing the registration stickers off your car, to even morethan I had time to give you in this book on the actual secret to
life. And smart, sexy chicks love our podcast. (Read the testimo-
nials from many many smart, sexy chicks at ThornDaddy.comand AskDollie.com). On the podcast, we actually have sex, andtalk a lot about sex, but we also talk about other things, too.Because there’s more to life than sex. We speak about the goodlife on the planet earth, and thinking beyond spinners and bling.
You need to be a globally aware citizen to be worthy of fucking.
You have to think beyond yourself .
BUT WHAT CAN I DO? I’M JUST ONE MAN.
Get fixed. Don’t have kids. Recycle. Conserve water (by bathing lessoften, which attracts women, but also by not running the water for tenminutes to just brush your teeth and shave. Turn it on and off as youneed it, you lazy fuck! Also, you don’t need to flush every time you justpee. Seriously.) Don’t drive a fucking SUV, and don’t buy spinners.They’re for small-dick pussy men who like to be told what to do bygrinning idiots on TV. Throw away your TV and buy more computermemory. Get your priorities straight. TVs waste power, and rot yourbrain. A new good green-rated computer uses less power and can edu-cate you, instead of making you stupid like TV does. And don’t supportadvertisers by watching TV. Download shows and movies you like onBitTorrent. They usually have the ads edited out. Get movies there too.Destroy the bullshit beast of Hollywood, marketing, fashion, and allthose other lies, by simply not paying attention to them.
If you have the money for a fancy car, don’t use it to attract evil skinny
golddigging women. Buy a smaller sensible car or a hybrid, and use theextra money to buy a little land out in the country. Put a fence aroundHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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it. You’ll need it in a few years. To keep you and your bitches safe(er)
from the housejackers and water war looting.
Clothes don’t make the man. Clothes hide the man. They often hide the
fact that there’s no man to even hide. Don’t buy into the fashion indus-try that says you have to spend a lot of money on clothes. Men don’tneed to, and women don’t need to. Look nice, be creative, but don’tbuy the lie of things going quickly out of fashion, and don’t spend a lotof money on it. You’re being lied to. That industry is run by the sametypes of people who tell women they have to be unhealthily skinny orthey’ll never get a man. In fact, fashion folk perpetrate that myth byusing models who look like skeletons.
It’s interesting that the fashion industry is run by gay men. Why
should gay men determine what makes a woman attractive to aman and a man attractive to a woman? This makes about asmuch sense as the Pope, a celibate old man, telling people howto have sex. I like manly fags and sissy fags, but I hate metro-sexuals and hate fags who dress metrosexual. It’s all so damncivilized . It’s denying the fact that we’re primal fucking animals.
ALL MARKETING IS A LIE. It’s all just picking pockets by remotecontrol.
And besides, the chix that will fuck your brains out AND not make you
crazy aren’t attracted by off-the-shelf fashion spinners and bling andbullshit and overcompensating cars. They’re attracted by men who careabout the world. Not men who pretend to care, but men who truly
care.
I dress like a 15-year-old-skater-boy, and have since I wasa 15-year-
old-skater-boy. Actually, most 15-year-old-skater-boys dress better. I’mkind of a slob, and have holes in my T-shirts from wearing them untilthey become comfortable and beyond.
So, to attract women, here ya go. Here’s the Tao of ThornDaddy: throw
away your Speed Stick, work on self-improvement, volunteer, makeyour home into your castle, get a vasectomy, get a cat, get confident,help others, and give a shit about the world. Seriously.
All this works for me, and has always worked for me. It’ll work for you,
too. ThornDaddy
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CHAPTER 6
How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out –
Let’s Jump Right In….
DESERVING A SEX SLAVESome men are meant for being dominant in the bed. Some aren’t. Thisbook will be most effective with men who are, or at least have tenden-cies toward that.
Most of how things go in the bed is really up to you. Sure, female dom-
inant / male submissive sex can be great (or so I hear from people whoare into that sort of thing), but I have no interest in it. Some of myfriends are male subs and some are female doms (dommes), but that’snot my world, so I can’t really speak to it.
And yes, we have evolved beyond the hunter/gatherer survival instinct
with our modern society, but we’re still wired a certain way. In primitivesociety the man had to hunt and the woman had to take care of theoffspring in order to survive, and now that’s hard wired into our DNA. Itmay be evolving out of us, and maybe in 10,000 years society will beruled by women. I don’t know, and I’ll be long dead by then. Butmaybe this manuscript will still exist in some digital form, being read incaves on solar-powered iPod screens.
I hope so. Anyway, in my world, woman on the bottom, man on the top, “taking”
the woman with permission, works best. I’m an elegant, educatedcaveman (with an I.Q. of 143). And in my mind, a man driving in bed,a man leading, just makes sense.
A female virgin can be a good lay, if the man is directing. A male virgin
will only disappoint an experienced woman. I know…the first time I hadsex, I just laid there. Then I met an older biker chick, she taught me afew things, and quickly and intuitively “got” it and became a masterfulfucker. That’s probably the last time I let a woman direct, but I’m stillglad she did. And we’re still friends, 27 years later.
Basically, to be able to be in charge of another human being, you have
to have your own shit together. Being dominant, in or out of the bed, isnot for the fucked up. If you’re fucked up, keep reading, but I’d recom-mend not trying too much of this until your life is in shape. Only youHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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can determine what that means, but if you’re honest with yourself,
you’ll know.
I’ve come to a place in my life where I am a good person to lead the
life of another. I lead my wife’s life, in and out of the bed. I lead thepet’s life in our bed, and advise (but don’t lead) her outside the bed. Imentor the pet, but don’t control her. But my wife, I control outside thebed. I tell her when to go to sleep, when to write and proofread for me,when we’re going to podcast, when and how we’re going to fuck, etc.So I control the lives of 2 ½ people. Me, my wife, and part of the life ofthe pet. And that’s about all I can control. I avoid the rest of the world,avoid confrontation, and have no interest in sparring with people. I dothe judo thing and step out of the world’s way. I work at home, I don’thave a boss, I can get up when I want, sleep when I want, smell like Iwant. It’s nice, and it took a lot of work. If you’re interested, I’ve writ-ten about a half-dozen books under my real name that can help you dothat.
Remember, the women you fuck need to be the same species as you.
At least 80% of the world isn’t. Sluts are not your species. Sluts arenot the goal. Submissives will make you much happier. Sluts are out forthemselves. They’ll act a little submissive, but only so you’ll do whatthey tell you to, to pleasure them. Submissives will serve you, to makeyou happy. And when you use subs for your pleasure, don’t try toohard, you will pleasure them more than you can ever imagine possible.
CONSENT, CONSENT, CONSENT, CONSENT
You don’t need booze or drugs to get laid. If you do, you’re a punk andthis ain’t for you. Sex is far better when you’re sober. Consensualbooze and drug seduction is a cheap trick. It’s like hitting a home runon steroids. It doesn’t count.
And unwitting drug seduction (like slipping her a roofie) is rape. So is
fucking a girl who happens to pass out drunk at the party. Rapistsshould be ground into cat food. All sex must be consensual. Always.
THE SACRED SAFEWORD
First thing you need to know about consensual rough sex is the conceptof the SAFEWORD. This is a word that you and your lover decide uponahead of time, and when the submissive (the women, in this case),blurts out that word, you STOP whatever you’re doing.
Safewords only work if you have absolute respect for them and honor
the safeword EVERY TIME. When the woman “safewords out”, youSTOP, untie her, pet her if she’s into it, give her space if she needs it,ThornDaddy
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and let her talk about it. You don’t talk her INTO doing whatever was
bothering her. You don’t get snitty, you just wait patiently until she’sready to do something else sexually, or let her stop the sex entirely ifthat’s what she wants. Or needs.
There are some sick and twisted men who think that, as a dominant,
they do not have to respect women’s safewords and boundaries. This isabsolutely antithetical to the only rule in great sex: “EVERYTHINGMUST BE SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL.”
If you’re a woman reading this: ANY MAN WHO SAYS YOU DO NOT
NEED A SAFEWORD, OR THAT HE DOESN’T NEED TO HONOR YOURSAFEWORD, IS A PREDATOR AND YOU SHOULD RUN FROM HIM AND
NEVER LOOK BACK.
A good safeword is a word one wouldn’t normally utter in sex other-
wise, something like “STRAWBERRY!” Others use “yellow” for “slowdown” and “RED!” for STOP!.
Of course, you could just use “STOP!” as the safeword, but then that
negates consensual rape play (covered in the Chapter Eight) wheresaying “NO NO NO NO!” might actually be part of the play.
Discuss safewording out ahead of time, let pick her safeword (or pick
one for her), and HONOR IT, EVERY TIME!
OK, we’ve got that out of the way. Now you’re ready for the basics of
great sex, in my world. (Which would probably be advanced sex for alot of vanilla people.)
IF SHE WANTS TO BE IN CONTROL
If the woman wants to be in control, and you’re not into that,get another woman. There’s nothing wrong with a man beingcontrolled by a woman, if it’s safe, sane and consensual. But ifit’s not for you, you can’t be “trained” to like it. Many women,even vanilla women, try to do this, and it invariably ends in bothparties being miserable.
POSITIONS
My favorite sexual position is missionary style, i.e. woman on bottom,legs spread, me on top. You might think it’s very unadventurous tohave this most “vanilla” position as my fave. But I can do so muchwithin this basic position, that it’s amazing. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I like this position a lot. I can see the subtle changes in the woman’s
face as I fuck her. I can kiss her and nibble her earlobes. I can pushmy armpit into her face and make her sniff it (which makes her imme-diately cum). I can grab onto her sides, her tits, her pubic mound, legs,etc. She loves all of this. I love watching her, I love petting her, I lovethe sacredness of me facing her while I fuck her silly.
The exact position I usually use is her on her back, facing me on top,
fucking her missionary style with her feet up, knees bent, and she’sholding onto the underside of her legs, which is just about my favoriteposition. When I’m fucking her missionary style, I either have herhands holding her legs up for me from the underside of her thighs, orlegs up with her hands at her sides. This second one is deliciousbecause she can’t touch me or do anything to me, I’m in complete con-trol. Sometimes if she gets lost in the moment and tries to kiss me, I’llsay in a loud, commanding voice “HANDS AT YOUR SIDES!” and she’llimmediately revert to that.
If you’ve trained her well, and she’s the right woman for you, she’ll love
all this.
You should always command your subs in a clear voice. Whisper
if you like, but don’t mumble. It comes off as less than domi-nant, and doesn’t engender the right frame of mind in the subfor taking orders.
My other favorite is missionary position with her feet are up, pointing
her pumps at my shoulders, with her holding onto the underside of herankles. I love it, so do the wife and the pet. It maximizes ability to justpet her pretties, part her petals, and nail her to the center of the earthwith my cock until she squirts stars and secrets onto the majesty of mybed.
There’s a million ways to make love to a woman. I only know how I do
it. I’ll teach you that, and you can try it all, see what works with whatwoman, and adopt it to create your own brilliant style.
DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS
Charles Bukowski said something to the effect that “All women areexactly the same, and just different enough to drive us nuts!”
I really disagree, at least as to how they are outside of bed. Back when
I used to go to bed with people I wouldn’t now go to lunch with, Ifucked a lot of damaged beauties. They were very similar in the bed,but some made my life much worse outside the bed, while others mademy life much better outside the bed. (I’m only interested in the latterthese days.) ThornDaddy
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But surprisingly, I’ve found that if I “drive”, i.e. if I take control, IN
BED, almost all the women I’ve slept with are surprisingly similar inwhat they like in bed. 95% of the women I’ve slept with are fairlyorgasmic, like to be spanked while fucked, like to be called dirty sluts,and are willing to put on a slip, lipstick and pumps when I tell them to.This is true of sexually experienced women, but also of some very“vanilla” women I’ve “turned out”, i.e. turned into sluts in my bed. I’vefucked a few recently divorced women who had normal jobs, didn’t likerock music, had only had a few sex partners in their life, and were oth-erwise very “normal” and made them into wanton sluts in my bed fromthe first kiss.
I think it’s largely about picking the right women. The women who are
attracted to the smell of a man who doesn’t sully his naturalpheromones with deodorant and cologne, those women are ready foranything, if you are sweet, strong in bed, and respectful as you slutthem around with love.
You have to be a decent guy too. Most people think they’re decent. But
are you? I hope you are. (Remember my warning about the skinnybitch with the cats waiting for you in your future.)
SPREAD HER SOUL AND SHAKE OUT HER SECRETS
So basically, I have found the women who are attracted to me to bevery much the same in bed, in a very beautiful way. Whether they’retattooed rocker chicks who live in some bar and pick up and fuck a guyin a different touring band every night, or if they’re plump secretarieswith many cats who haven’t been laid well ever, and haven’t been laidat all in a few years, I can turn them into moaning slutty little dolls formy pleasure in bed, within a few minutes, once they’ve said “Yes.” Andthey all love the ride.
I basically do the same things with all of them, but with a million varia-
tions. And it’s not a “script”. It’s not a “game”. It’s a SACRED FUCKINGPRAYER WITH MY SISTERS, ME CONNECTING WITH THEIR MOST BASICPRIMAL LEVEL. IT’S ME BONDING WITH THEM ON AN ATOMIC WAY,EVEN IF THEY NEVER COME BACK.
There’s an Eddy Murphy skit that I love, an old classic standup thing
where he says basically that “Once you make a woman cum REALLYHARD, make her yell ‘OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!’ inbed, something changes.”
The best comedy is based on truth, and Murphy was right: SomethingHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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DOES change at that point. Basically, once you cock that SOUL SPOT
inside a woman, you OWN her. And then, you can keep her around for-ever, if you so choose, and if you’re a decent man.
You may wonder why I keep going on about “being a decent guy”. Well,
I wasn’t always one, but now I am. I used to be verbally abusive towomen. And to men. To everyone. I was an unhappy young man, in alot of ways. I’ve weaned all of this out of me with a lot of reflection andhard work, and the Universe is rewarding me in ways I couldn’t previ-ously imagine, in everything from sex and love, to my career, to justmy general ongoing state of happiness.
My wife loves to read complex 900-page kinky sci-fi romance sex nov-
els. One of them had a line that I loved. I don’t recall the book or theauthor, but it was something to the effect of “Women don’t just need tobe fucked by a hard cock, they need to love the thing that the hardcock’s attached to. If it was just about being fucked over and over, hell,they have machines for that.”
I’m not trying to teach you how to “take advantage” of this need in
women, my eager young student of fuck. I’m trying to teach you howto LOVE this need in women, to feed it, to complete it, to have it com-plete you…. to swim in it and never leave . THAT my friend, is the secret
to having a sex slave that will make your life perfect.
But you can’t look for a woman to fix you if you’re broken. You have to
fix yourself first, then and only then will this woman appear. And shewill appear when, and only when, you’re fixed enough to treat her real-ly really well.
MY “NON-SCRIPT”
You can do anything you want with a woman in bed, if there’s mutualrespect, the safeword is honored, and you talk about lines not to crossahead of time. I recommend doing one good basic vanilla (but spirited)fuck to “get her”, then discuss what will work and what doesn’t, thenGO FOR IT. Take control.
Different submissive women tend to all like the same stuff that I do
with everyone in bed, but a few have boundaries particular to them,and it’s your duty to know these boundaries.
I had a girlfriend who wanted to give me head, but couldn’t, because
she’d been repeatedly orally raped by a neighbor man when she was akid. She was so damaged by this that she’d tried to cut her tongue outwith a knife, and had permanent scars on her tongue. Some mendeserve to be ground into cat food. But I respected this, and neverThornDaddy
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asked her for a blow job. Many women have one or two things that are
“hard limits” for them, and you should discuss ahead of time beforereally “going to town on her.”
But basically, here’s what I do with all women, unless they safeword
out, and unless a pre-discussed hard limit is on this list.
I ask the woman what she wants her safeword to be. Or if she doesn’t
know, I lovingly explain it to her, and assign a safeword to her. I getthe woman into bed, dressed in a slip, pumps, lipstick, and sometimesperfume and stockings. I dim the lights. (Just the light from a comput-er monitor is usually a perfect mood for great sex.)
I don’t put music on, unless it’s music with me singing, because
music gets me out of my head. I want to be 100% here for this.I like to stay in the little bubble of love between me and thewoman, that extends about a foot in each direction. Music tendsto pop that bubble.
And you don’t need “make out music” to get laid. That shit is for
Mike from Marketing, not for a brilliant beast like you.
I pet the hell out of her, kiss her all over. If she’s ready, willing and able
to be tied up, I put special leather wrist cuffs on their wrist (these anda lot of other fun toys are available from StockRoom.com), then lashthem to the bar over the top of my bed with carabiner (available fromHome Depot.) Once her hands are out of the way, I start. If she’s notyet willing to trust me enough to be lashed, and I do understand thison a first or second or even third date, I just say “Hands at your sides”.This is called “mental bondage” – where the woman behaves as if she’stied up without really being tied up.
There’s any number of things that I might do in a session with a
woman. I will cover many of my hundreds of variations in ChaptersSeven and Eight. But I’ll run you through the basics here.
I keep petting her, and speak in a low, natural and commanding voice.
(Women are attracted to a great voice. If you don’t have one, you’re ata disadvantage, but if everything else about you, about the “wholepackage” as I’ve described it throughout this book is in place, you’restill golden.) I speak to my bitch to reassure her, to soothe her mind,and to bring her more under my spell. This is not a trick, and it is notany type of “hypnosis.” It’s just one soul taking charge gently and real-istically of another, with permission, and soothing my mind and bodyinto hers. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I’ll tell her she’s safe. This isn’t a lie, as she is safe. I’m not going to
take her anywhere she’s not ready to go, not going to do anything shedoesn’t want me to do.
I tell her she’s a dirty, sweet little whore, made for the pleasure of
men. This is true, and I do stress the “sweet” part. I’m honored thatthis slut is parting her pretties for me, and I’ll be good to them, andgood to her.
I nibble on her nape, hunching over the woman’s body with mine a few
inches above hers. I’ll pull her hair, very gently, while gauging how hardor how soft she likes everything. I’ll kiss around her ear, suck her lobesand whisper more about how she’s a dirty little girl, and how I’m hereto celebrate her by nailing her to the center of the earth with my cock.I don’t yet touch or go near her pussy. It’s all about stimulating hersacred mind at this point.
I alternate all my movements, speaking and touching between soft and
hard. Subs tend to really love this. I pet her sweetly, then when she’ssufficiently warmed up, I slap her ass with my hand to gauge what shelikes.
With any impact play like spanking, or hitting the ass or tits with a thin
cane, you need to warm up. You can’t just smack a chick who’s notopening up sexually, or it will hurt, scare her, and make her run out ofyour house. And even when she is open to it, you need to start light,and work up. Because after a little bit of light impact play, not only dowomen into that get more turned on, but their body starts releasingendorphins into the blood. Endorphins make you feel happy, naturallyhigh, warm, loved and they make pain not feel like pain. If you startwith some light spanking, and spank in the exact same place, thecumulative effect can be delightful. Spank her about 100 times on oneass cheek, without using the full strength of your hand (you may haveto alternate hands if you’re not used to this). Then switch to the otherside, then pin her shoulders down with your hands and kiss the hell outof her. She’ll probably fucking love it.
It’s good for a sub to avoid coffee and soda before any pain
play. Caffeine lowers your pain threshold. You are not trying toinflict pain, you are inflicting pleasure with acts that would bepainful under different circumstances.
I’m now probably 20 or 30 minutes into all of the play, and still haven’t
come near her pussy. It’s probably screaming to be fucked, but I’llmake her wait. Some masters are into orgasm control, they’ll maketheir bitches go several days without cumming, to increase powerexchange and control, and also to make the orgasm more deliciousThornDaddy
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once it happens. I’m not into orgasm control on such a long timeline. I
like my bitches to cum as many times as possible every day I’m withthem. But I will make them wait a little bit sometimes, especially thefirst time.
Keep kissing her, gently pulling her hair, and kneading her body. Lay on
top of her and kiss her on the lips, deeply, and reach under and giveher a backrub.
Plump girls hold a lot of tension in the little knob of flesh at the
top of their spine. Don’t forget to give this part extra attention.
I keep playing with her body, calling her sweet dirty names and saying
sweet dirty things to her. If she ever safewords out, I STOP IMMEDI-ATELY AND UNTIE HER. But if she doesn’t, I experiment with what shelikes, with what I like, and play her body like a sacred instrument.
Once her body and words are telling me to fuck her, I’ll make her beg a
little, especially the first time. And then play with her pussy, but notfuck her, for about 20 more minutes. Then I’ll finally slid into her withmy cock, look her into her eyes, and fuck her like it’s the last thing I’llever do. I cum in her, and it doesn’t end there. In most male-dominat-ed vanilla hardcore porn, and most male-dominated vanilla sex, it’sover when the man cums. But with me, it’s just beginning.
Once she’s cum a few times, and I’ve cum once, I pet her and hold her
and kiss her, in a world of sweet aftercare. After a few minutes of that,I’ll start playing with her pussy again. My goal is to keep her “hot” forhours. That’s how you come to owna woman.
Once she’s begging me to fuck her again, I’ll roll her panties to one
side. Holding her legs open at ankles or at inner thigh, I lick her pussya lot. This is where you should slurp like you’re eating an apple. Or
more like licking an ice cream cone on a hot day. Lick the hell outtathat thing! Don’t worry too much about “Do I lick the clit (clitoris), ordo I lick the inner lips? Lick it ALL. And suck the pussy, all over, insideand out. Be sloppy. Most women like it all. And nibble and lick her innerthigh, and play with her butthole.
Now I’m ready to fuck her. I’m rock hard, she’s wet as hell, she’s
splayed and open before me like a good book (or like THE Good Book!)I pull her panties off, and either put them on one of her ankles (for thathelpless look), or stuff them in her mouth. Then I slide my cock inside.I grab her tits, or belly, or sides, and just fuck. That’s it. Just fuckingfuck her. Nail her to the center of the earth with your cock. Answeryour internal biological command to stuff her full of semen, over andHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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over, as much as you can.
Go for the “spot”. Once she’s cumming, or about to cum, slam your
cock into her over and over as hard as you can. Picture a “spot” beyondher on the bed. Try to slam through her to that spot.
Alternate between soft and hard fucking, and hard and soft petting all
over her body. See what works for her. Pull her hair a little, listen toher body, listen to what her purr-squeaks and cries and moans tell you.Let them guide you. Fuck her with the caveman programming thatevery cell in your body, every cell in her body, has. Use her for yourpleasure. Don’t worry if she cums. Don’t even think about it. Justpleasure her by pleasuring yourself. Cum into her like it’s the end of theworld and it’s the last one you’ll do.
Lay there being at one with the universe. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat
as desired.
AFTERCARE
Aftercare is loving and petting and kissing and hugging your bitch afteryou fuck her. We also call it “after cat”, because with us (Dollie and me,and also Dollie, me and the pet), it often includes sweet, quiet mewingand kitty noises.
Aftercare is essential. You gotta do it. It will not only keep a woman
coming back, it is a very important partof fucking a woman’s brains
out. Do it do it do it do it! (And also, you’ll probably just end up readyto fuck again after a bit of aftercat, and women love this!)
Stretch and warm up and warm down, especially if you’re over
30. Extreme sex (even with love) is a physical exercise and youcan strain a muscle.
I can still satisfy two women at once, but if I don’t warm up, my
back hurts the next day.
And stay hydrated, especially with two girls, and be sure your
bitches drink water if they forget in the flurry of sex. Especiallyif they’re squirters (more on that in Chapter Eight.) And keepyummy snacks on hand to munch between fuckings.ThornDaddy
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HOW TO KISS
Kiss like a fucking MAN, not like a boy.
One reason younger women tend to date older guys, other than that
older guys are more mature emotionally, more stable in their lives, lessfucked up and better in bed, is that older guys are usually betterkissers. Kissing is unbelievably fucking important to a woman. This factcannot be understated.
Inexperienced kissers (most teenage boys) kiss like they’re eating an
apple. They lunge at the girl’s face with their face, cram their tonguedown her throat, and try lick her tonsils. Not sexy.
Experienced kissers (men) kiss differently. I’m a great kisser.
But I’m so “in the moment” when I do it, that I had to ask mywife “Hey honey. Describe what a good kisser does.” Here’s whatshe said:
“Be aggressive without being assaultive. Don’t just latch on and
never leave. Be aware that there’s an actual human attached tothose lips you’re kissing, and look for signals of what works.Different women like different things. Kiss her soft, kiss herhard, do both, back and forth, in a natural way.
“Nibble her lips, gently or not, depending on her reactions.
It should be give and take, it’s not an attack. Take charge, butremember: it’s an exchange. Let her kiss you back, and respondto how she kisses you.
“Breathe. Inexperienced men forget to breathe when kissing,
then gasp, like they’re coming up for air.
“You don’t only have to kiss her mouth. Go from her mouth to
her ears, to her neck, nibble her neck, and come back to kissingher. Bit her if she’s into it. Many are.
“Kissing can be done with eyes open, or eyes closed. Do either,
do both, do what feels right.
“Becoming a great kisser takes practice. But if you remember
it’s give and take, you’ll be a lot better from the start.”
Kiss her well, and kiss her often. In bed and out. Grab her while she’s
making you dinner, slap her on the ass, call her a slut, pull her headback gently by her hair, kiss her neck, face and ears, then walk away.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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LIVE like that. Venerate your slut, adore her. She deserves it, and you
deserve the love you’ll get from that.
BE SWEET TO YOUR SLUTTY SLAVE
Compliment your bitch often, and mean it all.
Bring her flowers once in a while. Not to “maintain” her, but because
you love her. Better than roses are wildflowers, with a spray of tallgrass, that you pick yourself. My very vanilla dad used to do this for mymother, even though he could afford roses. She liked this better. He’dsay “Hi sweetie. I picked you some weeds” and give her the beautifulhandcrafted bouquet. She adored it. I did too, it was one of the mostbeautiful things I ever saw my dad do.
Tuck her in at night. Read her (or tell her) a bedtime story. She’s your
little girl. Kiss her while she sleeps. Wake her in the morning by lickingher pussy before you fuck her. Love her dearly. She’s your good girl.
TEACHING HER TO PROPERLY SUCK YOUR COCK
Good girls suck cock. The want to please their master. But also, there isthe added advantage of a guy who’s well sucked is more turned on andwill fuck the girl harder, and probably more times in a given day.
Blowjobs are important. I had a girlfriend once who could not bring
herself to suck cock. I mentioned her before, the one who had beenrepeatedly orally raped. I never pushed it with her, and held her handas she went to therapy. I was as supportive as a man could possiblybe. Yet, after two years of great fucking, great companionship, but noblowjobs, I had to break up with her. And it did it as sweetly as possi-ble, and we’re still friends.
I remember a post from a new sub on a kink Web forum. She asked,
“What should I except as a new submissive woman”?
Someone posted back, “You should expect to give a lot of blowjobs.” Dollie and I got a good laugh out of this, because it’s true. In the vanil-
la world, women give blowjobs to get something, or as a rare and spe-cial treat to the man, like on his birthday. In the kink world, a slave isexpected to provide oral service on command, up to many times a day.And why not? Men love it, and a good slave lives to please her man.
My wife gives me blowjobs on command. I love it, and so does she.
She almost always cums from blowing me, and many women can betrained to do this, to love the cock, to picture that they’re taking theThornDaddy
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WHOLE man into their mouth and loving him. Women like my wife,
who’ve been conditioned to like this, can go from zero to 1000 in a fewminutes. Sucking cock can be the only foreplay.
My wife is damn experienced. She’s been sucking cock for 35 years.
She gives amazing blowjobs, and has it down to an art. Here’s whatshe does:
When I’m ready for a blowjob, I tell her “Get ready to blow me.” She
sets up some pillows for me at the head of my bed, so I can lean upagainst the wall. Then she waits on all fours, in a prayerful, reverentialbowing position. When I’m finally done answering e-mail or writing(she’s masturbating on the bed right now as I write this, because I toldher to), I get up, drop my pants, and slide under her, lean against thepillows and say, “Suck, bitch.” She does.
She licks my balls a bit, and then crams the cock into her mouth. She
never licks around the head, because that’s useless. That’s what inex-perienced cock suckers do. She stays on all fours, and wiggles her assin the air a little bit for me to look at, so I know she’s into it. And sheis.
Don’t grab a woman’s head and force her throat onto your cock.
Women often hate this, and it’s usually a sign of an inexperi-enced man. (More on this, including exceptions to this rule, inChapter Eight.)
Once my wife has my cock into her mouth, it’s basically just repetition
until I cum. A good blowjob doesn’t have a lot of variation, it’s simplymechanics. And women will tire from this at first, but can work up tobeing really good at it, and having stamina, like with any physical exer-cise.
The repetition is this: she puts her hand firmly around my cock, and
uses her spit to lubricate it. She keeps her hand locked to her mouth,she moves her head up and down. It’s basically a hand job with amouth at the end of it. On all fours. Like the little slutty man-pleasingdollie that she is. And she’ll use her other hand to alternately massagemy balls, and play with my butthole. This takes balance for a woman todo properly, while resting on her elbows. If she’s good at it, and does ita lot, she’ll have calluses on her elbows. The wife has them.
Most women are too gentle with the balls. A good woman is afraid of
hurting us. I find it feels good to have my balls kneaded fairly hard. Ifyou’re like this too (many men are), tell your woman. Show her withyour own hands how hard you like everything. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Tip: Download a lot of blowjob porn from TheHun.net or
BitTorrent. Put it on repeat and make your bitch watch it whilewaiting around for you to do stuff with her, while you’re busywith other things. She’ll learn a lot, and also get more and moreconditioned to being more and more sexual.
Another thing I love to do is have her lick my balls (or my butthole)
while I beat off. Pure bliss! And she actually cums from doing it, andthen licks up my cum, and cums again.
MAKING A WOMAN CUM BY NOT CARING
Don’t try too hard. Men who really pleasure women can fuck well, but
aren’t all concerned with “Oh baby, did you cum?” (If a woman cums,hard, you don’t have to ask!) Here’s something that explains it well,
something I wrote right after my first threesome, when I was 21:
Sunshine and Aura gleefully jump into my bed, and we fuck all
night. I love how easy it is to make fertile little, big-breastedhippie-chix cum. Making love to a woman is always easy for me.I just connect with her soul by talking and listening. I kiss herfrom toe to head, pet her and kiss her a whole lot on the lips.Then, when she’s begging me to fuck her, I refuse and justsmooch her a lot more. I kiss and lick her ears and nape andbelly. I suck her clitty and then maybe, if she’s a good-gurl, I’llfuck her hard and mean and sweet and won’t try too hard tomake her cum, just use her as my toy. Men who are all con-cerned about making women cum rarely do. I can’t tell whenwomen cum anyway. When I fuck ‘em right, it all looks like cum-ming to me.
FOREPLAY
Some girls need a lot of it. My “script” above describes it well. But Idon’t really think like most men, that “Everything before sticking it in is‘foreplay’, to get the woman ready, and that part’s for her, not for me’.”No, I think of all of everything as sex, whether it’s pleasuring only mybody, only her body, both bodies, or just our minds. It’s all good.
I don’t really do much “foreplay” with my wife. I often just say, “Open
your legs, bitch”, and stick it in, then do stuff most people would con-sider “foreplay” while I’m fucking her.
And also, as the wife says “Everything about living with Daddy is fore-
play. Him EXISTING makes me always ready.”ThornDaddy
74

Not all women are this hot to trot all the time, but if you live your life
for them, don’t deodorize your beautiful smell, and fuck them reallywell, they’re going to be ready to go most of the time, if you’ve pickedthe right woman. (Remember, look for ones who like anal! Remember:the anus is a conduit to the infinite, and if they like anal sex, they love
sex! If they love anal sex, they love life!)
LUBE
It’s great. It’s “foreplay in a jar”….
Sometimes when I’m almost ready to fuck, I’ll tell Dollie, “lube up!”,
which means “kneel on the bed in your slip (she always wears a sliparound the house, to be more ready for me at any time), and rub a lit-tle lube on your pussy and masturbate.” If she’s got some new shoes(she buys a lot of shoes), I’ll add, “Come on, my sweet and sulliedbitch. Let’s take those new pumps for a test spin!” She puts on hershoes, lubes her pussy, kneels and masturbates. For Daddy.
I finish up answering e-mail or writing on my computer, and when she
cums, I get up, whip my shorts off, push her onto her back, stick mycock into her lubed pussy and fuck her brains out. She loves it.
I recommend Wet Original Gel Lubricant (26 bucks for 18 ounces –
which lasts a long time – from
www.lovepotions.com
If you thought that lube is only for dried-out grandmas, you’re wrong.It’s key. I have always used it, even with young wet women. No matterhow wet a woman gets, a little lube will help. After a lot of fucking,even wet pussies can use some lube, as the juices all get less slippery.And it’s absolutely needed for anal sex, for tittie fucking, and for fisting.
Also, squirting women can literally “wash away” the natural lubrication
that a pussy produces, so it’s good to have a ready substitute handy.
If you use too much lube, you can always wipe her pussy (and your
cock) off on her slip or on your sheets, which will add even more sexsmell to your bed, which is key, as we’ve learned previously. Sexbegets sex.
WOMEN LOOK GOOD IN SLIPS
I cant’ say this enough. Make ‘em wear a slip. There’s lots of reasons.
First:
There’s nothing as naked as a half-dressed woman. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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A slip or a babydoll teddy looks scrumptious on any woman. It is the
wrapping for the present, a present that you unwrap without removingthe wrapping. The slip hides imperfections, feels good on her skin andyours, and gives the feeling to you, and to her, that she’s “dressed forsex.” This “always-ready” feel is important to slavery. It’s part of thebeauty of a woman’s love for serving her man.
I like classic white slips, because they’re cheap. (For me, the cheaper
lingerie is, the better. More expensive is fine for vanilla women, but Ilike my slaves to look like two-bit whores, and low-rent helps with that.Also, there’s something very “lady” looking about classic white or pearlcolored slips. That mixes fine in my mind with the whore thing.
I think most for most men, their first childhood sexual fantasy was
about their mother. Mine was. She was hot, and had me when she was40, probably part of the reason I like older women. And my preferredbody type in women, and dress style, is much like my mother: foxy,plump, big boobs, wearing pumps, slips, perfume, makeup, and panty-hose. (I used to sniff her pantyhose and masturbate when I was a kid.Who didn’t do that? Come on, be honest….)
My mother dressed classy. She was a lady. I like to take the same style
and whore it up in my women. And they have to dress in a slip. Whenyou’re a woman in my home, you dress like a sweet whore. Always.
I generally get slips a half-dozen at a time on WalMart.com (for six
bucks each) and modify them as needed. I trim the bottom off,because they come too long.
WalMart.com
“Yeah, I know they’re destroying small-town America, but hey,nine bucks for a refrigerator!” —paraphrased from Jon Stewart.
Slips can, nay SHOULD be cut to about an inch or two below the hip
bone for maximum sexy effect. This exposes the her pussy, makes herfeel more “ready”, which is a big turn on. For proper length, do it whileshe’s wearing it, standing, with her hands on her head, out of yourway. Make a game of it. Say fun, filthy things while you cut it. Be cre-ative. Make it a fake punishment, or a real reward.
Use scissors, but BE CAREFUL, you don’t want to harm your wonderful
slut. She was given to you by the Universe to venerate and care for.And start by cutting off less than you think you should, then take theThornDaddy
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girl for a test-drive fuck in the newly altered slip. You can always cut off
MORE, but you can’t cut off less.
(I save the part I cut off the bottom of the slip. That part makes a
great blindfold, and you can also tie her wrists to the bedpost with it.) Idon’t have her sew the hem where I cut, like the trashy look of thembeing cut sloppily.
By the way, finding a bitch who can sew, AND cook and give
good backrubs, is MUCH more important to your happiness, ifyou’re really honest with yourself, than finding a bitch who lookslike a model who can’t do shit. Skinny bitches can’t fuck, andthe ones who can are so starved they’re crazy. They’ll kill you inyour sleep.
Altering slips to this length (or buying babydoll slips that are already
this length) makes the woman’s pussy and ass totally accessible. Looksgreat as they walk around the house doing chores, waiting for Daddy tosay, “Get in the bed, hands at your sides!” or “Stand against the wall,hands at your sides, I’m gonna rub your little pussy until you squirt onthe floor!”
And slips cut to hip-bone shortness expose belly a little when the
woman’s lying down. I love to see and play with a woman’s plump littlebelly while I fuck her. This gives you better access and control of herbelly, pubis, and all that “girl stuff” down below.
If this isn’t your thing, cut your woman’s slips a little longer. Fuck your woman as you please, and move her slip around as you
please. The woman is your toy, given by god. You are there to com-plete her. Use her sacred slip as a vestment of virtue. Pull one or bothof her tits out and play with them. Stick them back in the slip whenyou’re done. Pull out right before cumming when you fuck her, jack offand cum on the slip. Let her wear your stains with pride around thehouse. Use your imagination to use your woman, your sacred gift, asyou will, with permission.
A-Mew!Slips: accessibility is the key. Just reach under and pet her places, any
time you like.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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THE ANCIENT LESBIAN HAND TECHNIQUE
I can’t believe I didn’t learn this one until I was 41. Me and my wifewere fucking another girl, and this girl was mostly lesbian. Sure, she’dhave sex with me too, but she basically seemed like she was just put-ting up with me to get to my wife. We didn’t ask her to come back.
But she did teach me something the wife and I came to jokingly refer
to as “The Ancient Lesbian Hand Technique”, and it’s easy, and a damngood one.
It’s basically stimulating the elusive G-spot with your fingers. The G-
spot is like an internal clit. It’s amazing, and your woman will thankyou.
You have to have trimmed nails for this, or you’ll hurt her. But you just
place the woman on her back, put a little lube on your hand, place yourpalm up, and insert your three middle fingers inside her pussy, reach asfar back as you can, and massage. Search with your fingers for thatpuffy, furrowed, spongy spot, and push, rub, massage. Some womenalso like having their tummy or pubic mound grabbed or gently pushedon during this maneuver. Rub her clit with your thumb, if you can.
It’s that simple. She will soon moan and scratch the bed board and
alternately yell out your name and the word “GOD”, over and over. Tryit while kissing her belly and/or calling her a “beautiful moaning sluttylittle doll angel whore” at the same time (or something similar.) WOW.
You can hear Dollie explaining and demonstrating this technique on the
pet, here:
http://www.askdollie.com/SAC-126-ANCIENT_LESBIAN_HAND_TECH –
NIQUE.mp3
You can hear us learning it, in bed, from the girl who taught it to us,here:
http://www.askdollie.com/Submission-Coffee_6-24-07-
aGuestInTheNest.mp3
NOW THAT YOU’VE FUCKED HER…… I’d like to take this opportunity to give you this advice: Be open toasking a woman what she likes. No master is perfect in every way forevery slave, and the best masters are teachable enough to realize theycan learn from every single woman they every have sex with.
If you do everything in this chapter, with the right woman, you will own
that woman’s pussy. ThornDaddy
78

In the next chapter, we’ll talk about how to own her whole body and
her mind. In the chapter after that, you’ll learn how to own her soul.
CHAPTER 7
How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
– Kings Don’t Live This Well
The whole idea of what I do, all that I do, with fucking, sucking, pet-
ting, and the stuff girls and I talk about outside the bed, is all to makethe woman hot longer. (And this includes talking about non-sexualthings, just keeping her mind stimulated, which stimulates my mind.)What I like to do is keep her in a state of ready semi-arousal whileshe’s just doing my dishes, and in a state of constant near-orgasm andactual orgasm for hours while sexing her. That’s what submissivewomen tend to like and it’s how I like to live. It’s also how I’m able toalways keep women around.
I can only fuck for about 20 minutes, tops, before coming. But my dick
does not go limp when I cum. And while I wait a few minutes to feellike fucking again, I do lots of other things to keep her (and me) hot.
Even if you can’t fuck ten times a day like me, you can still fuck a
woman’s brains out, if you keep her hot with other pussy play and mindplay in between fuckings.
If you do everything in this chapter, you will own a woman’s entire
body, and her mind.
I’LL DO ANYTHING. WELL, ALMOST….
I’ll pretty much do anything sexually with a woman. (And I’ve had sexwith a few men, a long time ago. I much prefer women.)
To clarify: I’ll do anything sexually with a sober, consenting adult
woman, as long as it does not enter into my hard limits. My hard limitsare anything involving children, animals, shit, blood, or risk of death orserious injury (to anyone, including me), and it has to involve my wife.I don’t have sex without my wife (except masturbation, and I do that alot, even though I fuck a lot every day). I do have anal sex (both mefucking women in the ass, and them sticking vibrating sex toys up myass), but that does not involve shit, we use an enema to clean the shitHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
79

out and get it out of the way first.
But that leaves a LOT of different sex stuff. We’re going to touch on
most of the things I like in this chapter and the next. (I say “most” notbecause I’m hiding anything, but because if I listed it all, it would fillthe whole book, and there’s a lot more to talk about than particularacts.)
Here you will learn about how to skillfully play your lover’s body like an
instrument.
SHAVE THAT FUCKING THING!
I hate pubic hair. Most men do (Again, any time I say something likethat in here, know that I understand “YKINMK”.) We like those pussiesshaved. This isn’t so the women look like little girls, it’s so it’s easier tofuck them over and over. Pussy hair gets caught on your dick (especial-ly if you’re using condoms) and causes friction that you don’t want.
I’ll fuck a woman with pussy hair, ONE DAY, but if she comes back, I
tell her, “We’re shaving that fucking thing.” And if you fuck her reallywell the first time, you’ll own her pussy enough to be able to tell her toshave that thing. I have dog clippers (electric hair clippers) for this. Iuse dog clippers, and then carefully do the rest with shaving cream,warm water, and new disposable razors. It may take a few razors to dothis correctly if it hasn’t been done in a while.
There’s also a very fun dominant component to shaving a girl’s pussy.
You’re in control, and actually affecting her body. She’ll like it, if she’swired that way, and if you’re nice.
If you’re not comfortable shaving her, have her do it herself, either at
your house, or tell her over the phone to do it before she comes back.And if she doesn’t already, tell her to shave her legs and armpits. Thisall makes a woman much more lady like, and more fun to fuck. (Atleast in my mind. Some guys like hairy bitches. More power to ‘em. Butbody hair on a woman, other than the hair on her head, is a dealbreaker for me.
(The rest of this shaving section is written by Dollie. Have your slave
read this before you make her shave, and read it twice if you plan toshave her yourself): ThornDaddy
80

Dollie Dishes on “Shavin’ That Thang”:
OK, it’s hairy. Now you gotta fix it. Or have her fix it. Whatever suitsyou, it’s Master’s choice.
I’ll assume you’re going to do it for her. The first time at least.If it’s wild and overgrown, or particularly robust, trim it first. Regular
barber shop electric trimmers do nicely. (And the noise is kinda intimi-dating, it a good way, if she’s into a little mindfucking, and there will bemore on the fun of consensual “mind fucks” in the next chapter.) Or, ifyou must, CAREFULLY use some sharp scissors. Trim it short, but youdon’t need to try and make her bald, just to about ¼ inch or so. This isperhaps best done outside the bath or shower, while over a towel forthe clippings (or, if over a hard floor, sweep them up after).
Now move into the shower or bathtub. Let the hair get nice and wet
with warm water to soften the skin and hair. If you’re doing it, I recom-mend you have her lie down on her back, legs open. Lather it up, don’tbe stingy. I personally like gels or gels that turn to foam, but there’salso a non-foaming gel made especially for “bikini line” shaving, Anti-Bumps Shave Gel by BikiniZone,
www.bikinizone.com . I recommend
and use it. The nice thing about gels is that you can better see whatyou’re shaving.
Use a fresh, not electric, razor, one you’re comfortable with. I prefer to
use a brand new blade, but some like one that has been used once.
Begin with the mons pubis, her mound. Be sure the skin is smooth and
taut, you can pull up on her belly a bit if you need to. Shave in thedirection of hair growth, gently, don’t tug. Use smooth strokes, and risethe razor often. Be sure to include the crease along her thighs. Goextra gently over any groves and rises on her body. Rinse, and repeat ifyou missed anything.
Now for the labia, the lips. With her legs wide, lather the area to be
shaved. Shave one side at a time, moving from the thigh toward hervagina. (Do not get shaving gel into the vagina or the urethra, or rinsequickly and well if you do.)
Continue until each side is clean and smooth. Look for stragglers and
fix them.
Be sure she tells you if she feels any irritation, nicks, or cuts. Stop if
she does. If she’s not used to shaving her puss, the skin can beextremely sensitive at first.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
81

The first time you (or she) shave her girlie parts, don’t try to shave
against the direction of hair growth. Yes, the shave may not be as closeas it could be, but you also don’t want to have her suffer through hor-rid bumps and ingrown hairs. They itch, and hurt. (Some itching, as itfirst grows out, is normal. With time and repetition, it gets better.)
Once her body’s become accustomed to this regimen, try shaving both
directions, with the direction of growth first, then against it. This willget the closest, smoothest shave possible.
Remember, keep the skin as taut and smooth as possible. Otherwise,
folds and bumps will end up nicked and ouchy. This can be especiallytricky if you’re shaving between the outer, upper lips. I tend to use twofingers of the hand not holding the razor to pull the lips up and apart.Care and practice will show you what works best for you.
When you’re finished, pat her dry, and apply a nice, gentle lotion, or
some safflower oil. (Yes, that stuff that’s in your kitchen cabinet. It’sthe best body oil there is, and naturally unscented.)
Shaving her puss is not something she can do everyday. So, there will
be short periods when she’s not absolutely hair-free. Every three tofours days, twice a week, works best for me. The idea is not to continu-ally assault that tender flesh. Especially if you’re having lots of sex.That friction can cause irritation, so be aware.
Do not shave when there are ingrown hairs, bumps or rashes. Let it all
heal first or you’ll only make things worse.
Waxing her is another alternative. This can be done at home, but is
better done in a salon. (I’ve never found a home waxing kit thatworked well enough, and was cheap enough, to convince me the econ-omy was worth not having to pay someone to do it well.) My experi-ence with waxing is this: The initial period of hairlessness is longer thanwith shaving, but you have to wait until there is enough regrowth towax again. This meant I was furrier than I liked to be in between wax-ings, and so opted for shaving.
The ultimate way to be hairless is to have laser hair removal. However,
this isn’t inexpensive, and requires some commitment to a series oftreatments. If this appeals to you, I’d suggest you do more research. Itnever appealed to me, so I can’t offer more.
OK, I’ll hand you back to Daddy’s brilliance now!—Dollie LlamaThornDaddy
82

A WOMEN’S SCENT
Is up to you really. Whether or not she wears deodorant (women pro-duce pheromones that a lot of men like, if they don’t deodorize),whether or not she wears perfume.
I’d recommend NOT letting her use vaginal deodorants. They smell hor-
rible, and they don’t need ‘em. A pussy frequently cleaned with soapand water smells great and doesn’t need crap like this. It’s just more ofthe CON trying to convince women that they’re not perfect just as Godmade them, and trying to pick pockets by remote (mind) control.
FLUID BONDING.
Fluid Bonding is when you are in a long-term relationship and decide tothrow out the condoms and fuck bareback, but do it in a smart way.And it’s not a first date kind of thing. (Well, usually. Dollie and I knewfrom our first night of fucking that we were together . And we both had
recent clean bills of health for our special places.) First, one of you hasto be fixed, or she has to be on either the pill or an I.U.D. Secondly,you both have to both go get clean “vet checkups” from the doctor orclinic. That is, get tested for HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia, HPV, and anyother nasty crotch crickets that God or the secret government scientistscome up in the future.
Often, a couple in an open (poly) relationship will be fluid bonded to
each other, but use condoms with anyone else. Fluid bonding is nice.Cum is fun, and it’s a lot nicer to pump it into your diddle dolly’s pussy,mouth or on her tits, belly and face than to spill your seed into a bal-loon and toss it out with the coffee grinds, cigarette butts and cat shit.
RAINY DAY FUN ACTIVITIES (ADVANCED)
Here’s a list of advanced stuff we like….It’s rainy day fun (or everydayfun) for you and your girl. Kings don’t live this well. But you can.
TRY IT ON YOURSELF FIRST
Keep in mind that some stuff here would cause pain or emotional dis-comfort, when used outside a sexual context. That’s basically the defi-nition of BDSM. BDSM, with people who are “wired that way” involvestaking your lover to a place where these things are not perceived aspain or humiliation, but as intensely delicious stimulation.
Not everything is for everyone. Discuss things with your partner before
trying something new, be respectful of her boundaries, and enjoy!How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
83

To be a good master of another, you need to know what they’re going
through, so you can combine that with your knowledge of their ownlimits for pain, pleasure and mindfuck, and not take them too far.
Try any new toy or technique on yourself before you try it on your
woman. Give yourself an enema, insert that inflatable butt plug vibratorin your own ass, whip yourself with that new cane, etc. Dig it. You’vejust become a more open minded citizen of the planet earth!
THINGS I LIKE TO DO WITH WOMEN, THAT WOMEN TEND TO LOVE:
This is a very partial list, to inspire you. Try some of and see whatworks for you and your sweet bitch. Then get creative and start build-ing your own repertoire.
Enjoy!
TOYS
Some people think that sex toys are for couples with lousy sex lives,that a vibrator, especially one shaped like a cock, is only needed if theyman’s cock doesn’t work well. WRONG! Sex toys are used and loved byhypersexual couples like Dollie and me to make great sex stellar andmake stellar sex absolutely religious .
Unless otherwise indicated, you can get most of these sex-specific toys
from Stockroom.com ThornDaddy
84

Toy wall over my bed, in The Internest
(Note rugs on all the walls for additional sound conditioning)
VIBRATORS
Using ‘em on the ladies makes you MORE of a man to, not less. Ladieslove vibrators, love men to use vibrators on them, and you’ll love howmuch they love ‘em. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
85

The basic, best, most hardcore vibrator ever is the Hitachi Magic Wand,
40 bucks:
http://www.stockroom.com/Hitachi-Magic-Wand-P263.aspx
This workhorse is great not only for pussy rubbing, but also for back-rubs after a long day at the salt mines. (Both for you, and for yourslave.) Every enlightened man should own one. (Or two. Many peopleget two, because they get hot after running for about an hour. If youget two, you can let one cool while using the other.) These plug intothe wall, so don’t take them into the shower. The ‘Wand isn’t shapedlike a dick, its end is too large to really insert, it’s for putting onpeo-
ple, not in them. (Though there a few optional toys that go over theend and are insertable.)
Try holding it on her clit while you fuck her missionary style.
Try holding it on her butthole while you fuck her doggy style.
Vibrating Dildos
Dildos are things that are meant to be inserted. They’re shaped roughlylike a cock. Some vibrate, some don’t. Me and Dollie like the ones thatdo vibrate. There’s a million varieties of these, from little pencil shapedones that fit in a woman’s purse discretely, to giant ones that look likecocks. Look around online and see what you like.
Flex-O-Pleasers
Wow. I can’t say enough about these. Designed specifically for analplay, this has a small, elongated rounded probe (like a long bulletvibrator) at a slight angle, on a flexible wand attached to a handle thathouses the batteries. Best 16 bucks you’ll ever spend. Mindblowing.Special. Modern technology at its best. Will extend your lifespan. OHMY FUCKING GOD! MEW MEW MEW!
We got ours here:
http://www.adult-toys.md/adult-erotic-toys-44681.aspx
We own four of them. One for each “special place” on each girl, Dollie
and the pet.
Flex-O-Pleasers are great for anally training a woman (or yourself, if
you’re bi, but reluctant) to love anal sex. They’re good for trainingbecause they’re not as large as a cock, but the slight angle on theinserted part allow for being turned gently around inside the anus, tovibrate all the internal surfaces.
(We’ll have info on cleaning out the butthole before anal play, in the
next chapter.)ThornDaddy
86

A tip on vibrating anal insertables: They go in and come
out easier if they’re already turned on and vibrating whenyou do so.
TOY CARE AND STORAGE
Toys inserted into the pussy or the butthole can be covered with a con-dom prior to use to make cleanup easier. And if you’re not fluid bondedwith the hole you’re sticking it in, use a condom for sure. Whether youuse a condom or not, after play toys should be cleaned with soap andhot water, or with sterile wipes, then dried with a towel and put away.This is usually part of the slave’s job, and she can be trained to do itwithout being told.
We keep our whip and cane toys on nails on my wall, and our inserta-
bles in an aluminum briefcase we bought at Home Depot for 30 bucks.It keeps the cats from fucking with the toys, and also looks damn cool.Like James Bondage 007’s briefcase.
PERVERTIBLES
Pervertibles are items that were not intended for sexual use, have a
more “vanilla” use, but can be “perverted” by using them as sex toys.This can run the gamut from using a wooden cooking spoon as aspanker for ladies’ asses, to modifying a high-RPM motor and a dildointo a fucking machine (probably not safe, so I’m not going to gothere).
A great place to get items to pervert is Home Depot. In fact, a lot of
kinky people refer to Home Depot as “Pervert’s Paradise.” Walk aroundone of these places (or any similar hardware superstore) and you’llstart salivating, and probably come home with a car full of stuff. Bringyour slave. Make it a date.
Here’s a few Pervertibles that we like:
Work GlovesWear ordinary canvas work gloves or gardening gloves while fuckingyour woman. Touch her all over. Sort of feels like someone is molestingher, in a delicious way.
Ping Pong Paddle
great for spanking ladies
Clothespins
Can be used as nipple clamps, on her, or on you. (I like a little painplay once in a while. It doesn’t make you less of a man. It makes youmore of a hypersexual man, if you’re into it. I sometimes am.) How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Pervert’s Paradise has stronger clips, if your woman is a total “pain
slut” like mine. A good rule of “thumb” is this: With most people, ifthey can stand to have something clamped on the web of flesh betweentheir thumb and index finger, it can go on their nipples.
You can also just pinch her nipples while you fuck her. That’s a fun one. Handicapped Toilet Accessibility Bar
Made to fasten to the wall in the bathroom to help handicapped peopleuse the bathroom. You can get one and fasten it to the wall of yourbedroom to tie ladies to. (You can also put one in your bathroom, to tieladies to for toilet play, which will be covered in the next chapter.) Youwill need a stud finder (also available at Pervert’s Paradise) to installone of these. If you’re not experienced with this kind of task, someoneat the store can walk you through it. (I’d recommend NOT telling himwhat you’re doing it for, however.)
Dollie and the pet attached with leg cuffs and carabiners to toilet
assistance bars I mounted on my bedroom walls
(note rugs on all the walls for additional sound conditioning) ThornDaddy
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Carabiners (also spelled “Carabineers”)
Quick-release clips for mountain climbing. They’re cheap. Useful fortying up ladies. They are fast and easy to release, if you ever need toget her out quickly (safeword, fire, oopses).
Eyehooks
Get big ones. They’re cheap too. Sink them into your wall, into a studor doorframe, and tie ladies to that.
Another source for pervertibles is any large pet store or equestrian sup-
plier. Check out the collars, leashes, whips and more. We love ourhorsehair whip – lovely stingy bite, but doesn't leave marks.
Some pet places also have an engraving machine for pet tags, so if you
do collar your babe, you can put “Property of…” around her neck. Or, ifit’s just a play collar, you can simply make ones that say “slut”, “slave”,“kitty”, or any other pet name you have for your human pets.
MORE FUN STUFF (NON-TOY)Watch Porn While She Blows You.
If she has issues with this, and they’re not too bad, explain that this ismaking you hypersexual, and she’ll get laid more. Because she will.
Talk Dirty!
In bed, outside the bed, and via e-mail when she’s at work. My womanloves this. Yours may too.
For e-mail, make sure she’s got a job where this won’t get her
fired, and have her use a G-Mail account, nother work e-mail. I
made Dollie set up a G-Mail account that only I know theaddress of. That makes her know she’s special. And the username I made her get is something like DaddysLittleSlut_69(that’s not it, but you get the idea).
The mind isthe most important sex organ, and good dirty talk “speaks”
to that.
Talking dirty is an art. Both in what you say, and in how you say it. I
like to say it in a soft/loud/soft/loud/soft way, often right in her ear.That makes her really hot, and she becomes more open to me, becauseshe doesn’t know what to expect. The soft opens up her heart, and theloud makes her stand at attention in her brain. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Here’s some examples (transcribed by marion of The House of Reason
from stuff I said to Dollie and the pet during sex, recorded, and put onSubmission and Coffee. Thanks marion!)
Read this and then use it to learn to do your own.
I love you, baby….Daddy is here….you are safe in my hands. I
care about everything that happens to you. You are my baby-doll. Shhhhh. . .quiet my sweet little squirmworm…father lovesyou….I am here to protect and nurture you….I adore you andlove you and only you. . .I validate and verify and authenticateyou, sweetie. I GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO EXIST. YOU ARE MYWOMAN. I AM YOUR MAN….You completely complete me andendorse me. You are my reason to love. I have never lovedanother human the way that I love you. You are my rockin’ littlesperm-trap lovergurl. Me poca mariposa, you are my only dar-ling, my fluffpuff kittywhore….
Baby come here! Look how much cum is on this spoon. Look,
come here. Eat Daddy’s cum and cum for Daddy… NOW LICKALL THAT CUM UP…Good girl. Cum for your Master, cum bitch,cum for your Master. Cum for the Daddy, stay for the whippins.
Beautiful little slut, kiss mew….Mew, mew for Daddy. Mew like a
retarded kitty. Good little cum toilet….and you’re both twitch-ing….panties down around your legs like dirty little fucking sexcrime victims, I like it. Ohh, twitching like a bitch, yes you are,oh good girls, good girls, hi Dollie, love you baby! Hey pet, goodgirl! Kiss my back and rub my balls while I fuck her, I like it.
Good girl. You are my little cum toilet. Cum for Daddy. Mew for
Daddy. I like it. You are a good little slut. You’re a dirty littlecock sucking whore, oh baby, did I harm you? No? Good! Goodgirl! I’m going to nail you to the center of the earth with mycock.
Talking dirty while paddling a woman’s ass is absolutely wonderful. Try
it!
Erotic love letters
An extension of dirty talk. I’m not talking about typical Internet HNGI.M. “On your knees, bitch!” stuff, but fucking poetry for the ages.
Dollie and I write this kind of stuff and send it to each other by e-mail,and she leaves it for me on handwritten notes when she leaves forwork, for me to read when I wake up. ThornDaddy
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(Read Dollie’s book Diary of an S&M Romance . It has a lot of the
e-mails we sent each other early on when we were courting. It’sbeautiful.)
Note from Dollie when I e-mailed her the previous chapter to proof at
in her cubicle on her lunch hour:
Yummy! Reading that “how to fuck” part made me remember
the oh-so-many times you did exactly all that – now I’m twitchyand damp, and heading for the ladies’ room when I’m done writ-ing this. You are the god of Fuck, Daddy.
And I love the intro to the “advanced” chapter – can’t wait to
read it – tonight?
My writing stirs my wife, and I also love that, through books like this
and the podcast, it’s a love song for all the cubicle girls in the world. (Alot of women listen to us fucking and talking on Submission and Coffeeat their desks on ear buds. I love that. It’s a global gang bang with me,my wife, the pet, and 10,000 ladies.)
e-mail from Dollie to me from her while at work:
Daddy, thank you for making my life so wonderful. For teaching
me, training me, loving me, spanking me, fucking me, and beingmy best friend. For believing in me, and bringing out the best inme.
And for putting a toy hedgehog in my purse! Mew!You do own me, Daddy, body and soul, heart and mind, pussy,
ass and mouth.
—Daddy’s little cube slut
Blindfolds
Loverly. The removal of sight heightens smell and touch, and empha-sizes her vulnerability and your control.
Remember the cloth you saved from the bottom when you shortened
your girl’s slip? Tie that around her eyes, in bed, or out. (If it’s outsidethe bed, be sure to lead her around by the hand, or by a dog leash, soshe doesn’t bump into anything and hurt herself.) How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Miscellaneous Amazing Fun In Bed:
Grab her tits or pubic mound or belly as a handle when you fuck her.
(There is a certain psychology to grabbing belly roll. First, it shows heryou’re not afraid of a little fat, and you find it sexy. Second, it showsher how absolutely in control of her you are. Third, it feels great to her,and intensifies orgasm. Also, try grabbing the pubic mound while youfuck her, but use your thumb to rub her clit at the same time. Rub herbutthole with your other hand.
Kiss her after you cum in her mouth. Taste your cum. Or, if you’re with
two girls (more on that in the next chapter), make them pass your cumfrom one to the other. This is called “snowballing”, and it’s HOT.
Suck the cum out of her pussy. You can do this, or the second girl can
do this.
Running your fingernails along the length of underside of her leg while
you fuck her. (This will make her gasp and twitch!) It’s especially easyif you’re doing it missionary style, with her legs are pointing towardyour shoulders, and she’s holding the underside of her legs. This is howI pose Dollie about 80% of the time that we fuck.
Take off her pump, rip a hole in her pantyhose, and suck her toes and
lick between her toes as you’re fucking her. This will blow her mind withpleasure.
Slapping Ass While Fucking
Easy with doggy style or with scissor style. Scissor style is a sort ofmodified missionary position, where you’re above her, she’s on herback, but your legs and her legs are scissored rather than parallel.Great because it makes it easier to play with her ass, butthole andpussy with your hands. Try it and try rubbing her clit and her buttholeas you fuck her. Or have her lie on her back, but twist at the hip, oneleg in the air. Straddle her other leg.
Licking Ears
Girls love this. Don’t be sloppy, be reserved, and try it with lightlysucking the ear lobe, then mix some “in your ear” dirty talk in there.
Kissing Her All Over
Romantic! Chicks dig romance. Try it while fucking, or before and after.
Backrubs
You giving her one, and/or her giving you one. During sex and after.(Before if you want, but that always strikes me as a bit vanilla. Lol.That’s how vanilla guys try to “score”. “Hey baby, want a backrub?”ThornDaddy
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Pleh!)
Massage Fucks
Fuck her doggy style, and massage her ass, lower back and buttholewhile fucking her. Fuck her doggy style, and insert fingers in her butt-hole while fucking her. (Try both of these without, and also with, theHitachi Magic Wand.)
Face rubs
You giving her one, and/or her giving you one. Before, during and afterfucking.
Bolt rubs
You giving her one, and/or her giving you one. Before, during and afterfucking. “Bolts”, are what we call the joints on the side of the head,just below and behind the ear. People hold a lot of tension in theirbolts. I call them “bolts” as in “Frankenstein bolts”, even thoughFrankenstein’s bolts were on his neck.
Bondage, Beginning:
Tying Up One Leg or One ArmFun. Exciting. Use leg cuffs (available from Stockroom.com) or a belt.Tie her up and fuck her, or tie her up and play with her. It shows hermind and body that she has, at least for this moment, turned controlover to you. Be careful you don’t do any bondage too tight. You shouldbe able to slip your finger between the cuff and her leg or arm. And ofcourse, RESPECT HER SAFEWORD.
Nibbling and Biting
You on her, or her on you, but with you directing. Try nibbling on her inner thigh lightly, then harder, as she nearsorgasm.
Hair Pulling
Hot. Chicks dig it. Don’t pull any hair out, and don’t hurt her, but insex, this can be wonderful. Especially while fucking them.
Sniff Her Panties
While you fuck her. Or stuff them in her mouth. Or tie her pantiesaround her head so the crotch is under her nose. Or tie the other girl’s
panties around her head so the crotch is under her nose. (Great fortraining bi-curious women to be less reluctant with male/female/female3-ways. Scent is a powerful memory aid. Get her used to sniffing theother girl’s crotch while cumming, and she’ll be more into playing with,and especially blowing, the other girl.) How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Panty Sniffing For Fun And Prayer
Make her leave her panties for you to sniff while looking at porn, whileshe’s at work.
Vibro-Suck
She sucks your dick while vibrating herself
Vibro-Fuck
You vibrate her clit while you fuck her.
Fantasies:
Think of whorish things while you fuck her. swing party fantasiesslave trading fantasies(I use both of these when looking at porn, and also when fuckingwomen. The “slave trading fantasies” is particularly delicious with mybitches, and also allows me to look at normal “slut” porn and envisionit as kinky. I picture that the women are being sold as slaves, and menare getting to try them out before they’re purchased. Yeah, I think theconcept of actually selling a human is horrible in real life, but in fanta-sy, I feel it’s fine. I also have porn fantasies and actual fuck-girl fan-tasies that the women are being held somewhere and trained for sexualservitude. Yay!)
Tell her what’s going on in your head if you want, incorporate it into
dirty talk if you want, or keep it to yourself. Your woman, your choice.You can also work out role-playing scenarios with the woman, whereyou act out any of these, or anything else you (or you and her) cancome up with. Your choice, brother.
Tittie Fucking
Only possible if she has big boobs. Lube up her tits, have her kneel infront of you and hold them together, and you fuck her titties and cumall over them. Some girls will try to suck your dick while you do this,but I find that just gets in the way. If you’re not into that, and shetried, tell her to stop. Your woman, your choice.
Pantyhose Fuck
Have her wear pantyhose. Tie her up or not. Cut the crotch out of thepantyhose CAREFULLY, then fuck her through the crotch hole. I call this“Opening the seal on a new girl”, even if it’s not a new girl to me.
The way to do this safely is put your hand inside, past the beltline hem,
and protect her pussy. Use scissors, and cut a small hole, while cuttingaway from her body. Then put the scissors away safely, and just rip thesmall hole big. This is great just for fun, but also for rape fantasy playThornDaddy
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(more on that in the next chapter). Pantyhose are cheap. Buy a few
pairs of a few different sizes and keep them on hand for different-sizedgals. (Dollie adds, “Once you’ve cut the pantyhose, keep them. Havehear wear them under her dress to the movies or the book store or towork. Keeps her mind on why she must be accessible – to you .)
Rope Bondage
This is what a lot of people think of when they think of bondage, but Idon’t do it, so I don’t know much about it. If you want to know more,check out the Ropecast podcast:
http://www.ropecast.net/
Dollie wrote this in Diary of an S&M Romance :
There are a lot of people at any given dungeon who are very
into “show.” Intricate rope bondage, fancy bullwhipping. Thosepeople are lots of fun to watch, but Daddy says it’s not for him.He says, “All I need is a whip, and pretty girl in a slip wearinglipstick.” (Though Daddy prefers a leather slapper to a whip. Buthe does like me in a slip. Daddy prefers girls to look girly, ratherthan having them done up in leather or latex, which is a littlemore common at dungeons.)
and I added this in the same book:
I have no desire to do elaborate rope bondage on you. I am
amazed by the artistry of photos of rope work done well by oth-ers. I appreciate it on an aesthetic level. But I got kicked outtaBoy Scouts for smoking and never learned ropemanship. Andalso, ropes take up valuable time we could be fucking. But I diga quick switch on your ass before, during and after. And most ofwhat I do involving “dominance” involves the very corrupt stuff Iwhisper and shout into your ear during the act. And stuff likenot letting you speak. Nice little power play for a little man likeme. And you love it.
Kitty Play/Puppy Play
Me and the wife mew at each other all the time. Most girls like to mew.I also sometimes put a collar on her and use a leash to lead her aroundthe house/bedroom/bed. Also nice is, instead of a collar, a pretty redribbon. Like she’s your present.
NOTE: In this case, the “collar” is just for play, not an actual “collaring”.
(Collaring is like a BDSM wedding, sort of. I’ll cover actual Collaring
briefly in the next chapter.) How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Eyes
Tell her to close her eyes or open her eyes while fucking or sucking.Your choice.
Role Playing
What vanilla people do when they feel kinky. We like role play too,though. Farmer’s wife, traveling salesman with hooker, white trashcrack whore with blue eye shadow, etc. Be creative, make up your ownafter you try the ones I’ve listed. Get verbal and filthy.
Make her take off her slip, put on bra, panties and pumps, and suck
your dick with both her hands, one on your balls, one locked to her lipsjacking you off into your mouth, her ass high in the air, wiggling. Whipher, or not. Cum in her mouth, say “Good girl!”, then tell her to stay onall fours until you tell her otherwise. Get up, answer some fan e-mails,work on that novel for a while, administrate your world empire, theneither tell her to get up and go about her day, or, if inspired, pull herpanties out of the way and fuck her from behind, in her pussy or herass.
And lastly, one of our favorites,
Frozen Cum!Beat off while smelling her panties and looking at porn while she’sgone. When you cum, scrape it off your hands, cock and belly with atablespoon. Stick the spoon in the freezer. (Probably best to only dothis if you don’t have roommates. But if you’re really wanting to be amaster of fuck, you’ll work toward not having roommates, unlessthey’re your sex slaves. Roommates get in the way of great sex.)
Meet her at the door with a spoon of frozen cum, shut the door once
she enters, push her up against the wall or bend her over any handyfurniture. Stick the spoon in her mouth. Reach under her dress or downher pants stroke. Rub her pussy until she cums, while she sucks thecum pop, and while you talk dirty and call her “Good Girl!” (For addedpleasure, beat off a few times and FILL the spoon with frozen cum.Dollie adds, “YAY!” )
Well, there you have it. If you do half of the things on this list,
you will go where few men have gone before. And your slavewill thank you, and you will be likely to ownher, in a deep and
loving way that no vanilla man can own a woman.
So, now that you own your woman’s entire body and her mind,
proceed a chapter. That’s where you’ll learn to own her soul.ThornDaddy
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Chapter 8
How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out –
Holy God of Fuck!
“You can do anything you want to me, Sir”
—Dollie Llama, to me, on a daily basis.
DOCTORATE-LEVEL GREAT SEX
NOTE: if you skipped ahead to this chapter, go back and read
the rest of the book leading up to it, even if you already consid-er yourself an advanced fucker. There’s more to it than that,you may still learn something, and you also missed the partwhere I tell you the meaning of life. GO BACK NOW!
Basically, the idea of all this super-advanced stuff is to produce out-of-
body type experiences called “subspace” and “domspace”.
From Diary of an S&M Romance :
Subspace is the endorphin-drunk state a sub gets in after a
good flogging, fucking and kneeling to serve her Master. It’sbeen compared to heroin. Daddy also gets into what he callsDom space (like subspace) during/after a session….Endorphinrush, love hangover, disorientation. But it’s not as intense as thesub’s experience. Mystics speak of having out-of-body experi-ences. For me, subspace is an out-of-mind experience – I amnothing but my body, an instrument played by another for ourmutual joy. When flying way out there, I can accept, and enjoy,real pain. I find redemption in fear. I lose my will, my need todo anything beyond exist for the immediacy of the sensation. Myendorphins are flooding; I am ecstatic. Endorphins are key tosubspace. So is absolute trust in your partner.
So, eager male, in Chapter One, I said:
“I can fuck a woman until she has so many orgasms that shepasses out. I’ve done this with many woman. And I do this atHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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least twice as week with my wife….I will teach you how to do
this in this book. (Not with my wife, but with any other coolwoman.)”
Well, this is the chapter where I tie all my experience together and
teach you how to turn your smart little girlfriend into a cock-loboto-mized fuck doll bitch who cannot speak, at least for a little while.
And the thing is, if you fuck a woman’s brains out (not even needing to
go to the point of passing out, but really fuck them well) often, and
with love, and over a period of time, you will partially fuck out the partof the brain that worries and frets, while leaving the parts that createand entertain and can do complex editing tasks (or whatever) for youin intact. AND, while she’ll still be smart, maybe even smarter, from allthis great sex, when you are done listening to her at any particulartime, you can say “Please shut up now, Daddy needs to think” andinstead of slapping you and walking out the door like an unfucked bitchwill, she’ll say “Yes sir”, smile and curl up at your feet until you needher again.
SO…. As I said, there’s very little I won’t do sexually. My wife is the
same way.
ALL WOMEN ARE BISEXUAL….
…at least in my bed, under my spell.
3-SOMES:
I’ve heard it said that “A threesome ain’t no thang, it’s just twogirls
you don’t feel like talking to after.” This is horseshit.
Only a small percentage of people have ever been in a threesome, and
even fewer than that have been in a great threesome. There is little onthis earth to match it, and it’s the closest to being a king or a god thata mortal man can hope to experience, at least in this life.
One of my favorite movies is Office Space . There’s a scene in that
movie where one character asks another character, “What would you doif you had a million dollars”? His answer? “Two chicks at the sametime.”
You don’t need a million dollars to do two chicks at the same time. You
just need to be sexy, smart, respectful, first master doing onechick,
and have good people skills.
A lot of guys think “But I can’t satisfy two chicks all night long.” ButThornDaddy
98

two chicks is actually easier, because you can make them have sex with
each other while you recharge.
There are some challenges. You gotta be good to both. You gotta watch
out for, and lovingly deal with, jealousy if it arises. Aftercare is evenmore important (though if they’re confident with your love of them, orat least the alpha sub know she will always be queen bee), you canwalk away and let them aftercare and pet and kiss each other.
It’s easier to find a second girl to play than to find the first. Once you
have the first bitch, the others show up. Though if you and the first oneare deeply in love, it’s less likely that the second one will want to comeback.
Two girls is more fun than three or four. And more fun than more than
one guy and more than one girl. Three is the best number for groupsex. More than that, and it becomes an orgy. Orgys are less spiritual,with everyone trying to do everyone. Orgies are like an athletic event,with less intimacy and sweetness.
“Dating seven women isn’t seven times the fun, it’s seven times
the hassle. And one of them always feels like killing you.”—Me, back when I was in a popular rock band.
Make both your sweet bitches lie on the bed, in their whore clothes,
with their legs open, and make ‘em rub each other’s pussies. Flip a cointo see who you fuck first. Fuck one, fuck the other, fuck them back andforth, fuck one while kissing the other, then switch. Or use one as yoursupport….like the racing pit crew….she rubs parts of both of you,inserts things, gets sodas, etc. Take turns at who does what. Love upallyour bitches.
Sex with two girls isn’t over when you’re done. Have them do each
other, but pet them.
The possibilities of things to do increase mathematically when you have
two girls in your bed instead of one. Here’s just a short list of possibili-ties, to whet your interest: All the things in the one-girl list in last chapter, plus: Stand while theykneel, have one suck your dick while the other licks your butthole, kiss-es your ass all over, and massages your ass, legs, and lower back. Putthem side by side, and fucking them alternately, missionary style. Slap,kiss, talk dirty to one while fucking the other. Before you cum, pull out,stick your dick in the other one, and cum in her. Pull the panties off ofone and stuff them into the mouth/face of the other. Make them tradepanties. Make ‘em do each other. Have the first girl lay against the wallHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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at the head of your bed, sitting up, with her legs open. Make the sec-
ond girl lay on her back, with her head between the first girl’s legs. Thesecond girl also has her legs open. You fuck the second girl while thefirst girl masturbates with one hand and uses her other hand to strokethe hair and tits of the second girl, the one you’re fucking. Make onekneel and wait for her chance to lick and clean up. Or do them both fortotally spiritual beautiful sex.
Have the alpha sub (usually your wife, or the first one collared, or the
one more important to you – often the one you live with) call it in theair. If she wins, fuck her first. If the beta sub wins, fuck her first.Regardless, pull out before you cum, and stick it in and cum in theother. Then make the first one lick the cum out while on all fours whileyou spank her and call her dirty names.
Also try dice. Sorta like the coin flip, but can also be done with one girl.
Make a list of filthy things to do, write them down with the numbersone-six next to them, then roll the dice to see what to do to whom.
With two bitches, you can let them do the aftercare. After you cum,
you can get up and go answer e-mail or work or clean up or whatever,while the girls pet and nurture each other and hug like happy kitties.Then after you feel horny again, jump back into the bed and fuck themmore or have them blow you. They’re probably still hot to trot. Womenstay hot longer than men.
Make sure your girls play nice with their sister subs. Dump any
beta subs who don’t. Mine get along great.
Be sure to treat your alpha sub a little nicer than your beta sub. The
beta is more expendable. The alpha sticks with you. Though Dollie (byfarmy alpha, she’s my wife, I’m gonna be with her forever ) and I really
like our beta, our girlfriend, the pet. We care for them.
There is something beautiful to a submissive about lovingly being treat-
ed in bed as an interchangeable object, in the course of play . If they
each know you venerate them for them, really love them and thethings that make them unique, mentally and sexually, they tend to loveit. There is something beautiful about being treated like an object whenyou know you’re really not, and it’s really just a form of fantasy mixedwith the reality of action.
But be aware, sometimes a girl can be feeling unusually vulnera-
ble, and what worked before won’t work now and then. Be espe-cially careful of her emotions in all intense play. And dependingon someone’s individual psyche, any kind of play that stirs emo-tions can skirt it’s way into psychological edge play. That’s whyThornDaddy
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you need to talk about heavy stuff, before, and after.
Names
Dollie calls me “Daddy”. the pet is not allowed to call me Daddy,because I am not her Daddy. This is a privilege reserved for Dollie, andit helps the pet know her place. (Very loved and very cared for by bothDollie and I, but definitely secondary to Dollie in my eyes. Not becausethe pet is lesser, but because Dollie is my one.)
the pet gets to call me “PoppyCat”, and we all love this. (And I like the
social pedigree of the term: Like “Daddy”, “Poppy” can be vanilla-blackor vanilla-Hispanic for “loverman”.)
Long-Distance Three-Way Sex
Here’s about the only thing I haven’t tried yet that I describe in thisbook, but I plan to with Dollie and the pet next time I’m out of town:
When you have to leave town, have your beta spend the night with
your alpha, and “direct” them sexually, via Webcam. This is going tohappen, next time I’m flown out to lecture at some college about film-making, which I do frequently, as part of my day job. (If you don’thave a webcam, do it via speakerphone.)
SWITCHING
Sort of related to “TRY IT ON YOURSELF”, but more based on howyou’re wired, how you’re made (which is determined by DNA, but also
by upbringing and experiences).
This is advanced, and can be done with one girl or two. Basically a
“switch” is someone who is a dominant sometimes, and a submissiveother times. Sometimes a switch will be one thing with one partner,and the other with the another. Or sometimes two switches will taketurns being the top and the bottom, often without a word, sort of theway that puppies play and bite each other: one will be on the bottomgetting bitten and dominated, then another will gain control. This canbe a lot of fun for humans.
What I do is once in a while I’ll tellthe girls to top me. I’m still in con-
trol, I’m still “directing”, but I’m on my back, and they’re on top andbeside me, treating me like a little girl being fucked by two men.Sometimes this involves a fantasy of me being a girl. I’m like Ed Wood:I’m not gay, I’m straight, but wearing women’s clothes once in a whilemakes me feel closer to the beauty that is women. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I’ll dress up in a slip and pumps and stockings, and they’ll fuck me with
Flex-O-Pleasers or even a strap-on vibrating dick, sometimes it’s withme being a guy, but being in a sweet, non-forceful mood, and I’mbeing “taken.” But always, I’m in control, leading it. I can take a fakedick up the ass from a woman, but I’m still the man as far as maintain-ing the master hand with telling everyone who does what, to whom andwhen.
HOT WIFE CUMMIN’ THROUGH!
From Wikipeida:
Hot Wife
The term hot wife refers to a married woman who has sex withmen other than her spouse, with the husband’s consent. In mostcases the husbands take a vicarious pleasure in watching theirwives’ and the other male/s enjoyment, or enjoy watching,hearing, or knowing about their wives’ adventures. Husbandsmay also take part by engaging in threesomes, or arrangingdates for their wives.
One variant of the hot wife phenomenon is when two men…take
turns pleasuring his wife, each immediately taking over from theother as soon as his orgasm is reached. In effect one man isrecovering while the other is active, but the woman effectivelyhas continuous intercourse. In this way, particularly if thewoman experiences multiple orgasms, this game can effectivelyprovide her with a very extended sexual act that she could notexperience in any other way.
Have them do each other while you recoup. OR, try the “hot wife”
thing, swinger term for keeping a woman going all night long, with twoor three men fucking her.
(I don’t share my woman with any men, only with other women. My
wife is mine.)
You can also do “hot wife” you woman yourself. While you’re waiting to
be ready to want to fuck her again, rub her pussy, strap a vibrator onher pussy while she’s tied up and leave it there, keep her cummin’ oneway or another.
This is from Diary of an S&M Romance :ThornDaddy
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Dollie and I wrote this to each other, early on in our relation-
ship:
Daddy Wrote:
Would you suck a stranger’s cock if I told you to?
Dollie Wrote:
Yes.
Daddy Wrote:
I probably won’t, but the fact that you would makes me happy.Very. I love that you want to please me in every way, not just insex. I wouldn’t ask you to do anything stupid though…I hatethose masters who try to limit the slave’s access to their family,the ones who answer and filter their slave’s e-mail, etc. I wantyou free, even though you’re giving me latitude, hell, giving meeverything.
HOLY-GOD-OF-FUCK-LEVEL RAINY DAY FUN ACTIVITIES
Here’s a list of Holy God of Fuck stuff we like….It’s rainy day fun (or
everyday fun) for you and your girl. (Or for you, your girl and one ofyour other rainy day girls!)
Try the things on this list, see what works for you and your sweet
bitch(es). Also use this list to inspire you to come up with more thingson your own. Enjoy!
A lot of the things on this list require a level of trust that does not hap-
pen on the first or even fifth fuck. These are activities to be discussedbefore hand, and you need to have proven to her over and over thatyou care for her, respect her, and most of all, RESPECT THE SACREDSAFEWORD!
Also, remember, TRY IT ON YOURSELF FIRST.
A NOTE ON PAIN PLAY
Pain play in BDSM isn’t really isn’t ordinary pain, it’s transformed in thesexual context into endorphin overload pleasure for all parties involved.If you’re wired for it, this is damn pleasurable.
Dollie wrote this in Diary of an S&M Romance :
“Pain. Most people go out of their way to avoid it. I’m not so dif-ferent. I jump around when I drop something on my foot. I hatepaper cuts, and headaches make me crazy. (I suffer fromHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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migraines and trust me, I find no joy in them.) But the quality
of pain I experience in a “scene” (sex act/role playingscenario/day of sex) is not the same. Oh, it’s every bit asintense, usually more so, but I love it. I crave it. It’s not a ran-dom act of the Universe, it’s a thoughtfully and lovingly appliedsensation that awakens me to a consciousness and awareness Icannot find any other way. It strips away the layers of thoughtand responsibility, and leaves me a creature composed of noth-ing but feeling, existing only in the moment. In short, it freesme.
How often has your vanilla lovemaking been disrupted or dimin-
ished by concerns of things outside the bedroom? When I’mplaying with sensations, there’s no room in my head for any-thing else.”
IMPACT PLAY
Impact play is striking your partner with an object. This can be a whipor cane on the ass, tits, or any other soft, fleshy part. If your partnerand you are both into it, it’s stupendous.
Can be done during sex, before or after sex, or even instead of sex.
Impact play is a great endorphin rush, for the striker, and the strikee.And it’s a cure for pain. When my wife was recovering from shouldersurgery for a bone spur recently, after she got off the narcotics, andgot on the non-narcotic pain pills (Tramadol, or as I call it, “TrampyDoll”, which is also now a nickname for the wife), she was still in somepain. It came and went, but continued well into when she had to returnto work, eight weeks after the surgery. We found that caning her onthe ass while rubbing her pussy, then fucking her silly, then caning hermore, made her not feel the pain. The body produces endorphins(nature’s pain meds) during sex, and especially during rough sex withimpact play (canings or even spankings). And that makes you feelhappy and high. (Again, this is the reason people become “a lover, nota fighter” when they fuck a lot.)
You shouldn’t just whack your partner when she’s not ready. Start with
light hits, and work up. What would feel like pain at first will feel likepleasure later as you build to harder.
NEVER hit your partner with any impact toy on the spine, kidneys, face
or ears, as this can cause injury.
Impact play leaves bruises. They start our red, and turn purple over
the coming days. Dollie loves her bruises, and pets them when she’shome, and secretly in the bathroom at work (often while quietly mas-ThornDaddy
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turbating on the toilet). She considers her bruises “nature’s makeup”,
and signs of Daddy’s love. And they are. Since impact play leavesbruises, and consensual bruises can be confused with abuse, it’s best toonly leave them places that will be covered with clothing when theslave is outside the house.
Canes made specifically for impact play are not large thick walking
canes, they’re thin, about a quarter-inch, and bend a bit when used.They have some “play.” They’re often made of rattan (a plant), but thereally nasty ones are made out of fiberglass. The sound of a cane inthe air makes the wife hot.
Dollie adds “A car antenna makes a wonderfully evil pervertible
whip.”
There are all kinds of whips, from little “squid whips” (made of thin
rubber strands) to very stingy bullwhips (also called “snake” and “singletail”, though these are slightly different sizes of bullwhips). Bullwhipsare used from a distance, require a lot of room to practice. They shouldnot be used without training and a lot of practice. (Some dungeons
hold whipping classes.) Smart bullwhip enthusiasts practice on non-human objects (like pillows, or balloons) until they’re comfortable withdoing it on a slave.
Dollie adds, “A well-done whipping is stunning to watch.”I prefer floggers (which have many strands of soft leather, but can
leave a good mark, and have a more “thuddy” feel on the slave ratherthan the “stingy” feel of whips and canes. Used moderately, or evengently, a heavy flogger can almost massage the slave – very luxuriousand can be a really nice cool down, even part of the aftercare.
I also like slappers, which are about two feet long, have a handle and a
flat leather end, and make a lot of noise. We have one small slapper(about a foot long) that we call the “slut slapper”. It has the word “slut”embossed backwards on it, and if used properly, will temporarily“brand” the word “slut” on the slave for a couple of hours. (I like to dothis on Dollie’s inner thigh.)
Ball Gags
Ball gags are great, and cheap (try StockRoom.com). Putting a gag in awoman’s mouth can be a great turn-on, for you and for her. It’s aboutpower exchange, it’s about her feeling of being “taken against her will”(with permission). It’s about you feeling that, even though out of theHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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bed you respect the brilliant words that come out of her mind, for this
snapshot of time, “I don’t care what you fucking have to say, bitch, andI don’t care to hear it! I just wanna fuck your pussy, and don’t wannahear a word out of you!” Ball gags also train a woman to have hermouth open for long periods of time, which makes them better cock-suckers, too.
Ball gags are rubber balls with little straps and a little buckle to strap
around her head to hold the ball in place.
Since gags cut off air to the mouth, they should not be used with any-
one who has trouble breathing through her nose, anyone who is epilep-tic, and you have to constantly watch her face to make sure she’s notin trouble. And NEVER LEAVE ANYONE GAGGED, OR TIED UP, ALONE.EVER.
Since a gagged woman cannot give a verbal safeword, it’s best to put a
little bell in her hand. If she wants to safeword out, she jingles the bell.And if you’ve tied up her arms, work, having her blink repeatedly canserve as a safeword, but you have to really watch her closely. Petsqueeze toys work too, and have the added feature of being a littlehumiliating, but in a fun way.
Two-Girl Toe Suck
Have two bitches suck your toes, one on each foot, as you beat off. Orhave one suck your toes while the other blows you. Either way will blowyour mind with pleasure.
“HANDS AT YOUR SIDES!”
Covered briefly in Chapter Six, but here I’m suggesting you try it OUT-SIDE the bed. Have your woman lean against the wall, say “HANDS ATYOUR SIDES!”, and fondle her all over, without her being able to touchor push you away. Of course, you have to respect her safeword (asalways), but it can be delicious for interrogation scenes, and “Daddyinspecting his girl”, “Slave sale lineup” scenes, and just “dirty janitorwith schoolgirl” scenes, things like that.
Tell her “hands against your sides!” make her stand up against the wall,
and “inspect” her body with your hands…somewhere between a doctor’sexam and someone buying a horse. Touch the merchandise. Finally, rollher panties down her legs, and play with her pussy. Then take herpanties off, put them over your head so your eyes are not covered, butthe crotch of the panties is over your nose. Then make her kneel andblow you.
Female Ejaculation
This means “squirting liquid from the pussy at orgasm.” Not all womenThornDaddy
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do it, and Dollie only started doing it after she met me. It’s incredibly
sexy when a woman does it, and if you fuck a woman’s brains out, shejust might start being a squirter. You’ll feel like the god you are.
Contrary to some people, female ejaculate is not pee. It is a sweet liq-
uid called Skene’s Fluid that actually contains a little bit of naturalsugar, and it emulates not from the urethra, but from a different smallhole alongside the vagina called the Skene’s gland.
Vagina, showing the location of the Skene’s gland (and the location of
the clitoris, in case you don’t know where that is)
This file is licensed under the Creative Commons
Attribution-ShareAlike license version 2.5.
Image produced by Wikipedia user Nicholasolan
You can get more info on the Skene’s gland here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skene%27s_gland
You can get more info on female ejaculation here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation
Basically the only thing you have to do to “deal with” squirters is fuckHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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her on a towel. (For some reason we call these “squirt pillows”, as in
“Hey pet, go throw these swampy squirt pillows in the dryer and getmore out of the cupboard.) And if she squirts a lot, like Dollie and thepet, keep a pile of towels handy. Our sober lost-weekend three-way sexand love marathons basically keep the clothes dryer running non-stop,from 5 PM on Friday ‘til 10 PM on Sunday. Even with the squirt pillows,those bitches turn my mattress into the land of a thousand lakes.(Dollie and I joke about touring to teach love/life/sex/mind/body/self-improvement seminars based on this book and Diary of an S&M
Romance , and calling the seminars: “Life Squirt”.)
One time after I’d fucked Dollie’s brains out, and she squirted a lot, she
said, “I know what Skene’s fluid is made of: It’s my brains!”
Blindfolding Asleep, Sleeping Tied Up
Very fun for making the woman feel loved. Blindfold her gently with asoft scarf (or the bottom of a slip), tuck her in like your little girl, andlet her sleep like that.
You can tie your woman up to sleep, but only do this if she can get out
if she needs to, and if you tie her in a way that will not hurt if she’sthere for eight hours. A loose leg cuff with a rope tied to an eyehook onthe wall is good. She can get out if she needs to, if she has to pee, or ifthere’s a fire. Never leave her tied up alone, awake or asleep. Sleepnext to her, so she knows she’s safe.
Blindfold Porn
Blindfold her and have her blow you while you watch porn.
Face Slapping
Face Slapping is intense. Some women love it, some will never love it.If your woman has issues with it, DON’T DO IT. And even if she likes it,it has to be timed right. You don’t want to slap her when she walks inthe door. Slapping her face when she’s about to cum, or when she’scumming, is best, and will intensify the experience for both of you.
BONDAGE, ADVANCED.
Tying Up Two Legs, Two Arms, Four-Point Restraint, and Hogtying
Fun. Exciting. Use leg cuffs (available from Stockroom.com) or a belt.
Tie her up and fuck her, or tie her up and play with her. It shows hermind and body that she has turned control TOTALLY over to you. Andit’s hella fun to play with a woman’s body when she has turned thattrust over, you can do whatever you like to her, and she cannot do any-ThornDaddy
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thing but lie there and take it, with love.
Dollie loves to be tied up and have me hit her ass with a cane until it
leaves little welts. She cums from this.
Whole books could be written on bondage. In fact, whole books have
been. We recommend Jay Wiseman’s Erotic Bondage Handbook :
http://www.amazon.com/Jay-Wisemans-Erotic-Bondage-
Handbook/dp/1890159131/
ANAL PLAY
(Note: as with anything in this book, try this at your own risk.)
As I’ve said, the anus is a conduit to the infinite. It’s the area of one of
the charkas (the Muladhara charka). Fucking a woman in the ass canbe the most divinely masterfully transcendent sex you’ll ever have. Andhaving her play with the inside of your asshole can take you to beauti-ful places you will totally dig, if you aren’t afraid to take that journey.Because, unlike women, men have a prostate, which is like a male G-spot or clit.
Her butthole (and yours, if you’re wired that way), can provide amazing
bliss for everyone involved. There are a few precautions though.
CLEAN IT OUT. You’ll want to give the receiving partner (her, or you) an
enema before play. Buttholes are fun, but poo, in my opinion, isn’t.
To give a good enema, you don’t want to use those little disposable kits
they sell in the drugstore. First, they’re expensive on a per-use basis.Second, they don’t contain much liquid. Third, the liquid contains stuffthat irritates your bowels to make you poop, which is not the goal.Those things are made for people who have trouble pooping, not forpeople who want the poop out of the way.
I recommend if you’re serious about advanced anal play that you invest
in a good reusable enema kit. I like this one, which sells for 40 bucks:
http://www.amazon.com/Professional-Quart-Enema-Bag-
Kit/dp/B000VGIDIE
It comes with a few nozzles, so each person can have their own to use.
Basically, you fill the bag with warm ( NOT HOT ) water, hang the bag
above the toilet, sit on the toilet, and lube up the nozzle, and stick alittle lube in your butthole. (You may get some poo on your finger, justHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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swish it off in the toilet bowl by reaching between your legs.) Then
release the clamp on the hose that controls the water flow for a secondto clear air from the hose, then insert the nozzle up your butt a fewinches (not WAY up your butt). Wiggle and enjoy.
Your anus will fill with a warm feeling as the water squirts inside you.
It’s very very pleasant even just on it’s own, without additional play.
So, once you fill up as much as you can, close the clamp, and let your
ass release the water and poo into the toilet. Flush. Repeat until nomore poo comes out. This can take a couple minutes, or over a halfhour, depending on your body. Be careful not to overfill your bowels.Cramping may occur, though it passes.
Now you (or whoever you’re doing this to) are ready for the big fun….Anal Sex
What more do I need to say? Anal sex is great, and without the fear ofa poo accident or mess, it’s absolutely awesome. Put a towel on yourbed in case any liquid or errant poo leaks out. After giving her anenema (or having her give herself one), get her ready in whatever wayyou normally would, then lube up her ass and your cock, and go totown. But start a little gentle, put it in about an inch, pull it out a halfinch, and increase depth until you’re all the way in, then pause for amoment and ask her if it hurts. If not, proceed. If so, pull out.
She has to be really relaxed and also turned on and also trust you.
Some women like anal a lot more than others. With women (or withyourself) who like it, but have a bit of pain, start by just inserting avery thin vibrator, or even your finger, and work up to bigger toys andyour cock. “Anal training” like this can build people up to take reallylarge things up their ass and love it, with time.
One thing Dollie really likes is me fucking her in the ass, missionary
style, then after she cums, pulling my cock out and sticking it in herpussy, and going back and forth between both. With some women thiscan lead to yeast infections, but Dollie has no problem with it.
Insertion Play, Vaginal and Anal
Things up the pussy or the butt. Or both. Vibrators, fingers, dildos,vegetables, etc. Really fun, especially if you put stuff up her ass whilefucking her pussy with your cock.
When you’re done playing and go to remove objects, sometimes they’re
hard to remove, because the thrusting into the anus has produced avacuum. Just relax, don’t fight it, sit over the toilet, take some deepThornDaddy
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breaths, and “shit” the toy out.
DO NOT insert anything that could break and cut (like bottles or a
glass), or puncture (like a pencil or screwdriver), and DO NOT insertanything that could get lost up there, something with no handle, like agolf ball or iPod. You don’t want to have to go to the hospital for some-thing up your ass. (But if you DO lose something up your ass, go to thehospital. They won’t have to cut you open, they’ve got drugs to relaxyou, and trained medical professionals with tools for exactly this pur-pose.)
I’ve lost something up my butt, had to go to the emergency room, and
they took care of it. And they didn’t seem surprised at all. (But thenagain, the E.R. that I went to for this issue was in San Francisco.)
Butt Plugs
Tapered rubber or silicon toys that go in the butthole, but have a largeend so they cannot get lost up there. Available in various sizes. Startwith a small one and work up, over a period of days or weeks.
Dollie adds: “Have her wear a butt plug while doing chores. Or
once she’s used to it, out in public, hidden by her clothes. Shewill spend every second aware of who owns her ass.”
Vibrating Robo-Whore
The Stockroom sells an item so delicious that it’s a sin not to own oneif you’re into anal play. “The Expanding Vibrating Anal Plug”, only 26dollars.
http://www.stockroom.com/Expanding-Vibrating-Anal-Plug-P210.aspx
Dollie and I first encountered this amazing solution for modern livingwhen penelope came over to do a medical exam scene with us. (Thiswas recorded, and is episode 100 of Submission and Coffee:
http://www.askdollie.com/SAC-
100_SUBURBAN_SWINGER_BONDAGE_MORESOME.mp3
This toy is a vibrating butt plug with a pump, you put it up the butt,pump it up to up to the size of an orange, and turn on the vibrator.Exquisite. The pump has a quick release so you can get it out if you’reoverwhelmed, or if you put in too much air and want the thing a littlesmaller.
I like to put it up Dollie’s ass and then fuck her in the pussy. She loves
it, and I love it too. I can feel the vibrations on my cock through thewall between her rectum and pussy. I like to say it turns her into aHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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vibrating robo-whore.
Fisting
Fisting is advanced play. Fisting is putting your whole fist up the recipi-ent’s vagina or ass. It’s not a first date thing, and should only be doneafter the slave has been anally trained to take other large objects.
Before fisting, or even putting a finger in anyone’s body, you should
trim your nails. Not so short that they bleed, and allow any remainingpoo to get in your blood, but short enough that they don’t scrape thefistee’s colon. (I make Dollie keep her nails short because I like her toput a finger or two up my ass while she blows me.) You should removeany rings, bracelets or watches, and use a lot of lube.
I’d recommend fisting the pussy first, and if she likes that, try the ass-
hole next.
Start with three fingers, and stop if there’s any pain in the fistee.
(There probably won’t be with the pussy, but might be with the ass.)Then pull your fingers out, gently. Add more lube. Begin with your fin-gers together, in a point. Once you’re inside and all’s still well, make afist. Move in and out gently, without withdrawing completely. GO SLOW,in a bit, out a bit, in a bit, out a bit. It can help if you’re rubbing herclit with your other hand, and/or talking gently and/or dirty to her.
Once it’s up there, very slowly rotate your hand a little. If she’s still
comfortable, move your fist in and out, slowly, and keep abreast of anysigns of pain. If she safewords out, or if you decide to stop, pull outslowly, not suddenly. You can work up to fast thrusts if she likes it.
Some women like to be fisted while lying on their back, others on all
fours. Discuss and experiment to find the key with your girl. And if youwant, have her try it on you. Being blown (for men or women) whilebeing fisted is mindblowing. Fisting, when done right, with your well-trained anal slave, can be some of the most earth-shattering orgasmsshe’ll ever have. She’ll feel like you’re petting her heart from the inside.
Some people find fisting more enjoyable with the fister wearing dispos-
able latex gloves, you can buy them cheap, in boxes of 50, at the drug-store. (Remember what we said about latex allergies back in Chapter
Five, and use non-latex gloves if you or your partner(s) are allergic.)
Super advanced: double-fisting, i.e. one hand in the ass and the other
in the pussy.
Occasionally, advanced anal play of any type can produce a little blood.ThornDaddy
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When this happens, I just stop, and don’t do any anal play for about
four days. If the bleeding persists more than a day, I’d go to my doctoror the E.R.
Other Fun Buttplay
Your thumb or finger up asshole as fucking her, with your other handrubbing clit. This takes some balance and practice, a lot of these tech-niques do.
Felching
Felching is sucking cum out of her asshole after you fuck her in the ass.Or you can fuck one bitch in the ass and make the other girl suck thecum out. Or you can suck it out yourself.
ACCIDENTS
Sometimes with anal play, even after a good enema, some poo willcome out. Don’t freak out. Just be a man, scoop up the towel, go dumpit in the toilet, wash it out by hand, and throw it in the washer. Or haveher do that, while she’s in there cleaning herself up. Or you can cleanher up. If you’re sweet about it, and don’t make her feel bad about anatural accident, she’ll love you even more for being a good, loving,understanding Daddy. Let her remember the glory of the majestic sex,not the disappointment of a small mess.
FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF A WOMAN
Sometimes if you fuck a woman really really hard in the pussy, a littlepoo will come out of her butthole. This can happen whether or notthere’s been anal play. It can especially happen 4-24 hours after analplay. The colon is a flowing river, and an enema only cleans out thebottom of the colon, and it fills up. (Quicker with some people. We’reall individuals here.)
Older women, especially women who’ve had a few kids, are especially
susceptible to this. Again, keep your calm, don’t make her feel bad,and it will be all good. And revel in the fact that you have to be a damnspirited fuck to fuck the shit out of a woman.
Women (or anyone) interested in advanced anal play should carry an
extra pair of panties or underwear in their purse or backpack, in casean accident occurs while you’re out of the house. In this event, takesome paper towels into a bathroom stall, remove the soiled panties,wrap them in the paper towels. Wash your butt with toilet water (it’spretty clean, don’t worry) and wipe well and dry your ass with toiletpaper. Then put on the new panties, and toss the old ones, wrapped inpaper towels, in the trash as you leave. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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OOPSES
This brings us to the subject of “oopses”. Sometimes something will gowrong. Physically (I’ve accidentally smacked Dollie in the ear with myhand a few times, leaving an unpleasant ringing) or emotionally (mind-fuck gone wrong comes to mind, more on mindfucks below). Whenthey happen, stop what you’re doing, talk it over, make sure everyonefeels OK before proceeding, and live and learn.
A wise man once gave this advice to subs looking for doms: “Ask a
potential dom if he’s ever made any mistakes in play. If he says ‘No’,run away, because he’s lying.
Age Play, and Daddy/Daughter play
Where the dominant partner pretends to be older, and submissive part-ner pretends to be much younger. Does not have to link directly to theactual ages of the people, but sometimes does (especially with middle-aged doms who have barely legal subs).
Age play is not an actual desire for pedophilia or incest. It’s more about
the sub feeling vulnerable, but feeling protected, so she gives that vul-nerability to the “Daddy” to do with as he pleases. Dollie is my babygirl and I’m her Daddy, even though she’s biologically five years olderthan me.
Can be a 24/7 arrangement, like Dollie and I, or can be a one-off or
recurrent but not 24/7 fantasy role playing game. Often when Dollieand I play with the pet, I make the pet wear pigtails and little ruffledsocks and patent leather shoes and a slip. The pet is five years youngerthan me, but can be made to look a lot younger. We pretend that Dollieand I are an old biker couple (Dollie has a lot of tattoos) and the pet isa teenaged girl (for sake of argument, let’s say, um, 18) that we pickedup hitchhiking and took to a cheap motel and took advantage of. Wouldbe creepy as a reality, but is yummy as a three-way consensual fantasyplay game.
24/7 vs. non-24/7
In BDSM, 24/7 means “full-time slave.” This usually includes liv-ing together, and also the slave serving the master in AND outof the bed. It may or may not include the master supporting theslave financially. (It does not with me and Dollie, she works out-side the home, has a great job, and makes more money thanme. But we share everything.)
A collared slave is usually a 24/7 slave, yet a slave can be 24/7
without being collared. (Especially if she’s “under consideration”ThornDaddy
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which means “trial basis to see if it works well enough” to collar
her.)
There are also non-24/7 BDSM relationships, that may or may
not include service outside the bed. Some women just like to betied up and fucked, but don’t want to wait on anyone. It’s allgood.
OTK Spanking and OTK Fingering
“OTK” means “over the knee”, as in spanking a woman with you sittingin a chair or on the bed and with her over your knee, with her asspointing upward, for your spanking pleasure. This is a beautiful perver-sion of antiquated actual punishment techniques. Parents use to do thisto their children as punishment. (When I see the way the world is goingand how psychotic the youth of today are becoming as a group, I kindof think more parents need to bring this back.)
OTK spanking (with or without diddling her pussy and butthole) is fun,
can seem a little sweet, and is a popular element in many people’sDaddy/daughter play.
I spank my baby out of love, and she loves it. There’s no real punish-
ment for my baby, only reward. (Though I will verbally correct her ifshe displeases me, but that’s very rare, and I always keep it separatefrom any sex play, to keep our sex play pure.)
Medical Play
Medical play is “playing doctor”, but not like when we were kids. It’s anextended scene where one person plays the “patient” and one or moreplay the doctor and/or nurse. It sometimes involves an “outline” (notreally a script, but a description of events, background, etc.). Medicalplay involves the “patient” becoming very turned on by submitting tovarious “procedures” that would be very invasive in normal life. (Likebeing felt up inside the pussy by a stranger, or someone pretending tobe a stranger. Or just being examined by a doctor.)
Medical play can be light, fun and sweet, or can venture into scary
exciting mindfuck territory. (Think “Doctor molesting patient.” Or “Nazidoctor torturing prisoner.”
Again, listen to episode 100 of Submission and Coffee (URL above,
under “Vibrating Robo-Whore” heading) to hear a really fun medicalplay scene, with penelope as patient, me as doctor, and Dollie as nurse.(This scene also involved a tiny bit of “mind fuck” – more on thoseHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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soon – in the form of our outline calling for her to be a woman who
cannot stop fucking strangers in alleyways, and me as “doctor” askingway too many personal questions, while “examining” her all over, then“taking advantage of the patient” while she was “under general anes-thesia.” (We did not actually drug her, but pretended to administer asedative, while she was blindfolded. She had to hold herself still,regardless of what we did to her, to maintain this fantasy. This was dis-cussed and agreed to ahead of time.)
An extension of medical play is psychiatric play, where the dom is the
psychiatrist, and the sub is the patient. It can border on mind fuck, andshould be done with care and trust. It could possibly even create sometrue breakthroughs, but as with any “therapy” expect the possibility oftears, and have some tissues handy. And also consider all the ramifica-tions of “fucking the patient”, that can be a lot heavier with this thansimple medical play.
Wearing disposable rubber gloves adds a good bit of tactile realism for
both the doctor and the patient in medical play scenes. Also, doingsome research on medical sites and learning some doctor lingo canhelp for added fun.
Mind Fucks
Mind fucks (also spelled “mindfucks”) are scenes that involve consensu-ally taking the sub to a kind of dark place. It’s controlled fear, for thepurpose of generating arousal for both parties. This can include interro-gation fantasy play, rape fantasy play, or yelling things beyond “youdirty little slut” (that many women dig) to things that kind of cross a lotof lines with a lot of people, like “You are a worthless piece of shit.” Idon’t do this particular kind of mind fuck.
I do like rape play, which can be a trip into the dark side for some peo-
ple. But with us, it’s always done with love. Basically you both agreeahead of time that a rape scenario will be played out, and the womanwill resist. (It’s REALLY important to pay attention to the safeword ifused, because in rape play, saying “NO! STOP IT RIGHT NOW!” andthings like that are often part of the fun.) Some women love rape play,others (often those who have actually been raped in the past) dislike it.
Though some women have used rape play with a loving partner toactually overcome emotional damage caused by an actual rape in herpast.
(This next part is a piece on rape play written by a fan of ours named
Illustrated Tart, about her loving rape play with her master. We really like her writing):ThornDaddy
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RAVISHMENT
Ravishment / rape-play/ consensual non-consent. It’s not every-one’s kink. I don’t mean to trigger anything for anyone who hashad the misfortune of experiencing real sexual assault. But as awoman who loves this type of play, I’m going to discuss it a bit.
Do I want actual rape? Good lord no! But it’s a fantasy, a sick
fantasy that plays into my “fighting submissive” tendencies. It’ssafe to play out the fantasy with someone I trust and love asmuch as Sir.
Safety is a huge part of this. I feel safe with Sir. I know I can
stop everything in a second by safe-wording; I’ll get cuddledand we’ll talk through my feelings or I’ll get space as I need it. Iknow Sir isn’t about to hurt me, there isn’t any anger focused atme, we’re playing roles.
What do I find attractive about ravishment? I like the amount of
physical force used, the particular brand of dirty talk that comeswith it, the moments I feel so desperately weak are very cathar-tic for me. The fantasy also taps into an interesting ego trip -I’m that attractive and desirable that Sir has to demand myattention right at that moment . No matter how I “feel” or how
much I “protest” and “fight”, that he is willing to overpower meand have me.
Is he actually raping me? No! Far from it. It’s just fun to act out
every now and again. “Submissive” is a real part of my person-ality, “rape victim” is a role (acting!) I choose to take on everynow and again for our mutual enjoyment. I know the idea oftaking on “rape victim” as a role for enjoyment seems prettydisturbing. An interesting comparison would be dressing up as aserial killer for Halloween and hitting your friends with the fakeplastic knife that came with your costume. Does the costume,dark jokes, and moments of pretend make you a legendary fic-tional serial killer? Hardly. It’s fun to play a disturbing rolesometimes, even if you find the real-life act to be completelydetestable.
Ravishment is where sexual objectification, violence, humiliation
and degradation all come to a peak for me, and I enjoy it. Thereis also a relief for me if I eventually start to “give in” to hisattentions. (Do you have any idea how hard it is not to enthusi-astically thrust back while having sex in a scene like this?!) If Ido “give in” and “begin” to enjoy it, it feels like this amazingHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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rush of pure animalistic lust because I’ve just fully given in to
the sensation, regardless of context. It’s like plunging into coldwater, it’s such a rush.
Sir is always very tender with me afterward, making sure I’m
OK, and that I liked it. A lot of cuddling and generally being cuteensures.
The Dom/me is doing the scene for mutual enjoyment by play-
ing the selfish bastard role. I’m impressed by Dom/mes whoengage in ravishment. I can’t imagine the courage that musttake, to not be paralyzed by the concern not to harm, to some-how make it work.
After the first time Sir and I played with this fantasy, I felt so
loved and safe that he was willing to do this with me. He trustedme enough to know my own boundaries (and that I’d enforcethem) just as much as I trusted him not to really hurt me. Itwas a great experience. —Illustrated Tart
http://www.underthisbenevolentdictatorship.blogspot.com/
One of me and Dollie’s favorite mindfucks is “good girl/bad girl.” There’sa couple ways to do this. You can play sexually with your woman whilealternating between saying very sweet things to her (usually in a quietvoice) and then suddenly shift to saying really mean or humiliatingthings (usually in a loud voice). A variation on this is to do it with twowomen, often alternating between who gets to be the good girl andwho gets to be the bad girl.
Getting quieter (especially while getting closer and looking into her
eyes in a reptilian, cold manner) for the “bad girl” lines can often bemore of a mind fuck than yelling loudly. Or switch it up, and do quietbad girl and loud good girl. It’s all good.
I don’t enter the realm of mindfucking that often, but when I do, it can
be tasty. Dollie and I have had several successful and fun mindfuckscenes, and we’ve had a couple great ones with the pet, too. However,we don’t usually record mind fucking (it’s almost toopersonal, and
that’s saying a lot from a couple who records and podcasts the stuff wedo.)
The only recorded mind fuck we have so far is actually one that went
really bad, and made both girls feel crappy. That episode is here, if youdare: ThornDaddy
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“CREEPY MINDFUCK SEX FOR TAX DAY”
http://www.askdollie.com/SAC-141-
CREEPY_MINDFUCK_SEX_FOR_TAX_DAY.mp3
Me and Dollie and the pet talked about the “mind fuck gone wrong”
after, and recovered, and also podcasted that, because after all,“Submission and Coffee” isa “teaching hospital”, and we don’t just
show when things are nifty. We feel this is important to being a trulyeducational BDSM resource.
HUMILIATION PLAY
Humiliation play is sort of like mindfucking, but can be sweeter in away. (And Dollie adds “Any humiliation play can feel like a mindfuck inthe right frame of mind, or before you have experience with it. I criedthe first time I let Daddy do some things to me that I now love.)
The humiliation play in BDSM that Dollie and I like isn’t really isn’t true
humiliation, it’s transformed in the sexual context into endorphin over-load pleasure for all parties involved. Still, you have to be very carefuland respectful with the mind and soul of your sub, and proceed withcaution into any humiliation play areas, and discuss them ahead oftime, and also afterwards, with her.
Dollie wrote this in Diary of an S&M Romance :
Relinquishing power over myself to Daddy is another type of
freedom. When he yanks me by the hair and throws me to thebed, I don’t have to worry if he likes what I’m doing – I know .
When he tells me what to wear, to shut up and be quiet or gostand in the corner, I have no pressure, no need to decide oract. I know he’s getting what he wants – he made the decisions.I have an inherent need to be pleasing to him, and when he’s incontrol I have no performance anxieties.
I love being called a slut, but I hate being told in seriousness
“You are a bad girl. You are dirt”, etc. Daddy is respectful of this,and does not do true humiliation. Any humiliation scenes we doare all play and beauty and joy for both of us.
Being Daddy’s slave also enhances all the little things I love to
do for him. Cooking, massaging his feet, fetching this or that,even making the bed once he’s finished using me, are all trans-mogrified into subservient, subtly sexy acts done for his pleas-ure. Which makes me enjoy them more, and removes the hum-drum from the ordinary. I never worry that the things I do aretaken for granted since I know he sees them from the dominantHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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flip side. Daddy says women were put on this Earth to serve
men. But before you accuse him of misogyny, let me assure youhe is absolutely not guilty. He loves and adores women.
One of the most startling (to me) powers I gave to Daddy was
the power to play humiliation games with me. I have alwaysbeen very protective of my occasionally brittle self-esteem, andhumiliation was a game I had rarely played.
I believe everyone has their own ideas of what they find humili-
ating. Some couldn’t conceive of crawling on their knees, but Ilove that. It doesn’t touch my sense of self-worth to do so. Infact, it plays to my feeling of joy in submission to bow down tothe man in control. I have my own hot buttons: body image,bodily functions, face slapping. Understand that many of thepowers I have granted Daddy have profound implications forme.
Also, just because I told him he could do these things doesn’t
mean it was easy for me. There’s something in Daddy thatmakes it almost impossible for me to say “no.” I can’t say howmuch is attributable to my love for him and need to please him,my insecurity that I could lose him if I refuse him, his veryinfectious charisma, or the trust I have in him. It’s a combina-tion of all these things, certainly.
Here’s some examples of fun humiliation play: Giving her an enema (after she gives herself one to clean herself out)
on the toilet, while saying “Bad little girl, sitting on the toilet for Daddy.You’re a filthy little slut who needs her butthole cleaned out because it’sso full of the cum of a hundred men! You’re a sullied little cock toy thatneeds extra cleaning, because you’re so filthy!” Then stick your cock inher mouth while she’s still on the toilet.
For added humiliation, you can take pictures of all this, and/or let your
friends watch. (Or even participate. More on that soon.)
Letting your friends watch you play with your slave can be intense, I
have heard. I’ve never done it, I don’t like men around while I play.But I guess I do “let my friends watch” (and several thousandstrangers, too), in audio form, with each Submission and Coffeeepisode.
As for photographing your sub, it can have humiliating aspects (possi-
bly in a good way, if she’s wired like that), or if you’re like me andDollie, it’s just a exhibitionistic thrill. ThornDaddy
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With photos, don’t break her trust, be careful to whom and where you
show the photos. And consider cropping out her face, or just takingphotos without her face (I do that all the time with Dollie, and withDollie and the pet).
Another fun thing is make her clean out the cat box in bra and panties
and pumps, and then slap her ass and rub her pussy and call her a“dirty girl” while she does. I do this with Dollie and with the pet.
Make her vacuum the house in bra and panties and pumps, and then
slap her ass and rub her pussy and call her a “good girl” while shedoes. Dollie adds, "A fun variation is to sit on the couch and mastur-bate while she does. If she does a good job cleaning, allow her to finishyou in her mouth, or lick up your cum."
Food fuck – stuff food in her mouth and make her eat while you’re
fucking her. Plays into the body image issues that all women have(thanks to the evil fashion industry). Food fucks are especially good ifyou’re fattening up a skinny girl.
Making Her Fuck Other People
This is beyond advanced. Should only be done with a girl you know andlove, and know that she’s into this . Requires absolute trust. (And
there’s the issue of increasing chances of VD, the more partners eitherof you have, so use condoms if you don’t know their history. Hell, usecondoms for this anyway.)
One of the hottest pieces of porn I’ve ever seen was only about a
minute long. It was this: Young (20 or so) cute, plumpish slave girl,laying on a bed, naked except a dog leash and collar. Older (about 45),not very attractive master walks in naked, unceremoniously opens thegirl’s legs, fucks her for about 30 seconds and cums. OK, kinda neat,but barely “fucking her brains out.” Then he says “Later tonight it won’tbe so easy. There will be four or five of my buddies doing that to you.”She suddenly looks really happy and says “Cool!” (Of course shedoes….she needs that after his tiny little man fuck.)
One of the hottest things I’ve ever seen in real life was once when
Dollie and I were at a dungeon (private members-only space for BDSMplay), two doms who knew each other were talking nearby. One had anew slave, and the other had the slave he’d been with for years. Thedoms hugged, made some small talk, then the guy offered to have hisnew slave lick the other guy’s slave’s pussy. The second dom agreed,and the first dom ordered his slave to do it, and she did. I loved thatthe women had no say in the matter, but only because the fact thatHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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they’d agreed ahead of time to be slaves for these men, the women
had obviously agreed that this was within the things they’d do. All fourpeople looked really happy about the whole thing.
Make your slave blow a stranger (male or female)
Especially fun if one is skinny, pretty and young, and one is fat, lesspretty and/or older.
Oral Slave For Others / Anal Slave For Others / Fingerbang Slave /
Gangbang SlaveCan work as punishment or reward, depending on the woman. Thisrequires an immense amount of trust, a very filthy woman, or both. Do
not attempt these unless your slave is comfortable with thistype of activity/punishment/reward .)
Take her to a dungeon or swing party, and make her spend the evening
either: Blowing strangers (men and women) without getting fucked, or lickingthe buttholes of strangers (men and women) without getting fucked inthe pussy, only in the ass. Also possibly fun: Take her to a dungeon orswing party, blindfold her, and line up a gang bang of men she’ll nevereven see. You might even be one of them. Ask her later if she knows!
Or just tell strangers “You can finger her pussy and squeeze her tits,
but you can’t do anything else to her.” All those unknown probing fin-gers in her pussy will have interesting effects. Might be fun too toblindfold her first.
SWING PARTIES
Swing parties are events held (usually by middle-aged people, and usu-ally in the suburbs) to “wife swap.” You pay a fee to enter. Singlewomen often get in free, and couples usually pay less than single men.The hosts usually limit the number of single men admitted in a givennight. Basically the idea is to have sex with a lot of strangers in onenight. Dollie used to go to them before she really got into BDSM andher search for the perfect master, which turned out to be me.
Despite what a lot of vanilla people think, “swingers” as they’re called,
are often notvery kinky, at least not “kink” in the BDSM sense that I
use it. They aren’t usually into power exchange or bondage or dom/submaster/slave dynamics. They just like to fuck. But a swing party can bea good place to take your slave if you’re both into the idea of havingyour “hot wife” sub being “lent out to strangers”, and you can watch, orparticipate, or at least stay close by, to make sure she’s safe.
Things rarely get out of hand at these parties, they are monitoredThornDaddy
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closely by the people who run them, and people are quickly thrown out
if they’re being pushy or belligerent. Dungeons are the same way.
A note on dressing to go somewhere to have sex: You don’t
want to show up at a dungeon, swing party or someone’s housewearing sex clothes that attract attention. Keep that shit “out ofthe streets where it might frighten the horses” (or the vanillas).Either bring your sex gear (clothes and toys) in a zippable bagand dress there, or wear a tasteful overcoat (easier to pull offfor women).
If you are a bisexual male, you’ll probably feel more at home in a dun-
geon than at a swing party. Dungeons are often more open tomale/male bisexuality, which is often frowned upon at swing parties.Swingers can tend to be a little biased toward only diggingfemale/female bisexuality.
Spitting:
On her face, tits, belly. Not out of anger, but just out of fun. Somechicks love this. Ask yours if she does, and start with her pussy or titsbefore trying the face, to gauge how she reacts. Some girls like thefaux-degradation of being spit on, for others, it just feels like beingsquirted with sperm. Or both.
Scent and Panty Play
I like having women’s panties and clothes around. I like my bedsmelling of perfume and pussy. This doesn’t make you less of a man, itmakes you MORE of a man.
Make her wear panties for three days to get them really sniffable, and
make her leave them when she leaves. Later, sniff them while you beatoff, or make another girl sniff them while you fuck her. (They’ll smellgreat for between three and seven days. Then you trade back and getfresh sniff-panties from the girl when she returns.) While fucking two girls, make the girls sniff each other’s panties, andtrade panties
While fucking two girls, rub both of their pussies, one with each hand,
cover your hands with pussy juice, then wipe the pussy juice from eachgirl on the other girl’s tits, belly, face, or pussy.
When the pet can’t come over for more than three weeks, I
make her mail me some panties that she’s worn for a few days,as a homework assignment. That holds me until she gets backto the Internest. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Blindfold or gag your girl with her panties, or the other girl’s panties.
Make her sniff her panties. Make her sniff another girl’s panties (withthe other girl present, or not). Stuff panties (hers or the other girl’spanties) in her mouth. Make her lick your (clean) butthole, during othersexual stimulation, or just any time. And you can lick her butthole. It’sall good.
Fuck her bent over a toilet. Stuff her panties in her mouth and call her
your “dirty little sperm toilet” as you do. Make her sit on the toilet and“think about what you’ve done.” Beat off, or have her blow you on thetoilet, or not. Then walk away. Come back after a while and walk her tothe bed and kiss her all over and hug and pet her.
Fake Cum
Some women love cum, love a man (or men) to cum on them, in them,in all their holes and more. If you have a girl that loves this, perhapsshe’ll dig fake cum, which can be made in quantities that are not possi-ble for one man (or even ten men) to produce. We like mixing handlotion, lube and a tiny bit of water. Start by mixing a condom full of itand pouring it onto her slip while you fuck her. Make her wear the cum-stained slip around the house. Work up in quantity and creativenessfrom there.
Real Cum
After I cum in Dollie’s puss, I don’t let her blot it off or clean up some-times. I’ll make her go cook dinner in her slip and pumps with my seedrunning down her leg. Dollie adds, “Or rub it on my tits and face, or letme lick it off your fingers if I’ve been an especially good girl. Yum!Daddy cum!”
Pee on her
Not humiliation in our case. Just fun. A lot of times when Dollie’s in theshower getting ready for work, I wake up to pee, hear her in the show-er and walk in her room. She smiles, sits on the floor and masturbateswhile I pee all over her. She cums, thanks me, and washes off. I smileand go back to bed.
WOMEN AS FURNITURE, WOMEN AS OBJECTS, WOMEN AS ART
Sounds offensive, but isn’t, if the woman is into it, and many are.Basically, it’s using your woman as an object, literally. After you’re donefucking her, have her kneel on all fours and put your feet up on her. Oractually write ON the bitch. Write “bitch” or “sweetie” or something elseon her naked body with Magic Markers. Or, decorate her with Xmasdecorations and have her stand in the corner. It’s fun, as I said, if she’sinto it. It’s not degrading, it’s beautiful. ThornDaddy
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Get creative. Make art out of her. Show her off to your friends (keeping
in mind any boundaries she has about being shown off…these need tobe respected).
I wrote notes for much of this book while fucking Dollie. I’d keep a little
sticky note pad and a pen on the bed. When I got a great idea, I’d slowmy fucking, and write on the notepad using her chest as a table. WhenI filled one sticky note, I’d stick it on the bottom of her high heel,which is facing me at just about the right angle for that when I’m fuck-ing her missionary style.
OTHER FUN STUFF:
Fucking one girl then the other. Fucking one hole, then the other. Twomen and one girl…a cock in her mouth and a cock in her anus. Somewomen love this, particularly plump women, because plump womenlove food, and with this kind of sex, both ends of the food tube arebeing fucked. Delightful. (I don’t share my bitch, but enjoy fantasies ofswing parties and slave auction party tryouts. Sometimes I tell her andincorporate it into our dirty talk, sometimes I keep it in my head if I’mfeeling verbally lazy.)
Fucking her doggie style with a leash on her. Leash, with or without
doggie style, in or out of sex. Rubbing a rough sparkle material leashon clit….sort of like light sandpaper.
Collaring
Related to leashes, but “collaring” in BDSM means a ceremonyof putting a collar on the woman to make her your property.Sort of like a marriage in the vanilla world. Dollie is my collaredslave, and was well before we got legally married.
Collaring is a complex proposition, should be thought out, and
discussed, and would take too much space to tell you everythingthat Dollie and I can think of on the subject. If you’re interestedin collaring a woman, I recommend you read Diary of an S&M
Romance .
EDGE PLAY
“Edge Play” means both playing with sharp-edged objects, like knives,and also “anything that’s consensual, but not always physically and/oremotionally safe.” And any play that fits the first definition also fitswithin the second, larger, definition. Edge play is also called “RACK” for“Risk-Aware Consensual Kink” (as opposed to SSC or “Safe, Sane andConsensual”, which describes most of what I like to do.) How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Edge play can include, but is not limited to, knife play, needle play,
blood play, scat (shit) play, breath play (controlled asphyxiation),extreme humiliation play, extended sensory depravation, and more. Idon’t do knife and needle play, and can’t really speak to it, except tosay PROCEED WITH CAUTION, WITH ANYEDGE PLAY. And while no
BDSM should ever be attempted while intoxicated on anything,that goes triple for Edge Play. Someone could die.
If you are very experienced with non-edge play BDSM, and want to
proceed, and have discussed all of the ramifications with your partner,and she’s 100% into it, I’d recommend starting here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edge_play
There is precious little in the way of published books about safer andsaner edge play. I recommend searching the forums at
http://mydungeonspace.com/ and http://triskelionsociety.com (Both
great sites in general, and basic membership is free.) Also, while Idon’t recommend Bondage.com for anything else (now that Penthousebought them out and whittled away the soul of the site, as well asremoving most of what free members can do on there), there are yearsof pre-Penthouse forum postings on Bondage.com, on any BDSM sub-ject you can imagine, including edge play. Keep in mind, anything writ-ten is just one person’s opinion, many contradict each other, and yourmileage may vary. Still, it’s a good place to start to research any BDSMidea.
The BDSM U part of that site is also still useful, for any basic info on
anything:
http://www.bondage.com/bdsm/bdsmu/overview.html
and here’s a short but good essay on edge play, written by Baadmaster,a cool friend of ours who we know in real life:
http://www.bondage.com/bdsm/EdgePlay/i/17/article.html
Extremely Advanced Anal PlayI almost consider this “anal edge play”, because it can be dangerous,and can produce blood. But I love to do it, have been doing it to myselfonce or twice a week for decades, and my doctor says my prostate isfine. (Keep in mind, anal play, especially this kind, should not be donebefore a prostate exam, as it will make the prostate look a little largerthan usual. On the male, the prostate is a very sensitive bunch ofnerves, sort of like an internal male clit or G-spot.)
The anal edge play I like to do (to myself, and to others) involves doing
normal anal play – an enema, then some insertion play to warm up,but then adding mucus-membrane irritants to the mix. This gives aThornDaddy
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burning sensation that can produce an incredible amount of endorphins.
I usually use a bit of Tiger Balm or toothpaste or hot sauce, put it onan insertable, and stick it in. This, again, should only be done at yourown risk, and you should start with a very tiny amount (especially withTiger Balm, which is verypotent).
It’s advisable to quickly wash out with an enema after doing this. And
any anal irritants will increase the chance of “poop oopses”.
LUBE SHOOTERS
Lube shooters are little syringe-type things (with no needle, of course)for pumping about a tablespoon (a lot!) of lube up the ass (or up thepussy). Makes anal play a lot more fun, easy, and pervy. Has the physi-cal effect of making entry smoother, but also has a psychological com-ponent: the internal wetness that she can feelslishing up her butt
makes her mentally totally ready for anal use.
They’re great for medical play scenes, too. You can make it part of the
“script.” Pretend it’s a medically indicated procedure.
http://www.stockroom.com/Lube-Shooter-P2212.aspx
CHOKE FUCKINGCool edge play. You need to be in total two-way trust with your womanto do this, and be careful. Try at your own risk, as with anything in thisbook.
In Chapter Six, I wrote “I don’t grab a woman’s head and force her
throat onto my cock. Women often hate this, and it’s a sign of an inex-perienced man.”
There are times I break this rule, but only with permission. Dollie loves
it when I grab her neck and fuck her face, hard. She actually cumsfrom it, cums from the power dynamic. Just be aware of not gagging orchoking your woman too much. Learn her preferences. But you bothreally need to have a high level of trust for this. And it helps to have awoman who, like Dollie, is a really sick little puppy…in a really healthyway.
I also sometimes put my hand on Dollie’s throat, or the pet’s throat,
and choke them, just a little, while fucking them. They love it.
This best done not at the start of play, but rather in the middle of a
hypersexual series of fucks so the woman is already totally beyondturned on already. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Electrical Play
Can be dangerous, but can be fun. Should not be done with anyonewith a heart condition. DO AT YOUR OWN RISK.
Violet Wand
Very psychedelic electrical glass devices that send a blue shock to theskin. Expensive (like half a grand or more). The Stockroom carriesthem.
Bug Zappers
I’ve seen people play at a dungeon with those things used for zappingbugs that look like tennis rackets. Watched a guy lightly smack a tied-up woman on the tits for a long time. Very impressive to watch, andmakes a lot of “CRACK!” noises.
TENS unit
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TENS_unit
A TENS unit is a device prescribed by doctors for pain reduction. It
works by stimulating endorphin production in a localized area. It has avariable voltage and delivers a safe(ish) charge to little stick-on elec-trodes. The charge makes muscles twitch and can kind of make youfeel “high”, even if it’s on your arm. The electrodes are disposable, butwe use them a few times each. A TENS unit can be used, at a low set-ting, on the genitals for astonishing fun. (DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.)
They are supposed to be prescription only, but we bought ours on the
Internet, for $130 bucks, including extra supplies.
Safety guidelines (applicable to any electrical play), from Wikipedia:
TENS should also be used with caution in people with epilepsy or
pregnant women (do not use over area of the uterus as theeffects of electrical stimulation over the developing fetus are notknown). TENS should not be used by people with an artificialcardiac pacemaker due to risk of interference and failure of theirimplanted device. Possible failure of these warnings can result ina cardiac arrhythmia.
TENS units should not be used across the throat or the heart. In fact
you should not use them at all.
WEIGHT CONTROL
Weight control is making your woman lose, or gain, weight, to fit theimage of her you have. This is a tricky one. ALL women have weightissues, whether they’re overweight, underweight, or in the middleThornDaddy
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somewhere.
This should only be attempted with a woman who is YOUR woman, i.e.
it’s not for casual “play girls.” It’s only to be done if the woman hasbasically given up all control to you, and if you’re good at dealing equi-tably with that responsibility.
The most common mistake vanilla guys make with weight control with
women is saying, “You’re too fat. Lose some weight.” First of all, this isa mean way to put it. Secondly, vanilla guys do not have amaster/slave dom/sub relationship with their women. So the woman isfirst going to cry, then try to please her man by dieting, then when itgets hard, she’s gonna get pissed at him for trying to control her and“eat” at him. I know couples who’ve broken up over this.
And anyway, you know I like plump girls. I’d never ask a girl to lose
weight. I’d just dress her up to look pretty as she is, and venerate herbeauty, and fuck her so well that I bring inner beauty to the outside.And that’s something that lasts beyond the bedroom. Fuck any girlreally well, regularly, and she’ll glow and look prettier. Friends andstrangers alike will even think she’s lost weight (and she might losesome anyway, from all the sexercise, but if she doesn’t, she’ll look bet-ter to the “plastic” world anyway).
My main thing is fattening up skinny bitches . If you come across a “fat
girl hidden in a skinny girl’s body”, i.e., a cool woman who’s perfect inevery other way except she’s bony, you might find it your duty toplump her up. And if she’s put her control into your hand, and you’re adecent guy, she’ll probably do it. So, I present to you: PROFESSOR THORNDADDY’S HEALTHY WEIGHT-GAIN DIET FOR SKINNYBITCHES:(You should not attempt any dietetic change without consulting a physi-cian.)
—Three meals a day of sandwiches, with two kinds of meat, two kinds
of cheese, mustard, mayo, lettuce and tomato. (Lettuce and tomatowon’t fatten her up, but it will help keep her healthy, and the otherstuff will fatten her up.) Season with pepper, not salt. Salt is bad foryou.
—At least six glasses a day of chocolate milk (not the low-fat kind).
Chocolate milk is yummy, fattening, and it also reminds girls of child-hood, which is good for Daddy/daughter play, especially if you make areward out of it. Especially before/during and after great sex.
—Steak for dinner, with salad, veggies and a baked potato. Fruit juiceHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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to drink. Use sour cream AND butter on the potatoes. If you can’t
afford steak, non-lean hamburger meat with cheese on top can suffice.The salad and veggies is to keep from clogging her arteries, and fruitjuice is for fun, calories and vitamins.
—Plate of cookies to nibble on between meals. (But don’t overdo the
sugar, it can cause adult-onset diabetes over years’ time. Though thisdiet is only for six months or so, then she can go back to a less-fat,less-calorie maintenance diet.)
—Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches — and anything else she likes to eat.If she likes coffee, make her drink Starbucks lattes. Those have a lot of
calories.
When she gains her first bit of noticeable weight, reward her. When
she’s halfway to where you want her to be, buy her some new clothesto help her look great in “the new you.” Buy some that fit her now, atthe halfway point, and some others for later, to “grow into”, as a moti-vational goal.
I recommend
www.biggalslingerie.com
if you have money, and WalMart if you don’t. (They have some nice
stuff, not just white trash clothes, though white trash clothes can befun for certain fantasies, including street hooker fantasy play.) And
www.biggalslingerie.com has GREAT photos. Sort of very soft-core
porn. I’ve beat off to that site before.
Don’t weigh your bitches. Bitches hate scales. Just judge weight gains
by look and feel. And when she gains a little, tell her “GOOD GIRL!” pather on the head, pet her all over, lick her pussy, and love the hell out ofher. And when she gets to where you want her to be, switch her backto a normal diet, but keep an eye on her to make her stay where youwant her, and adjust accordingly. And don’t ever let her quickly gain,then later lose weight, or she’ll end up with stretch marks. You wanther plump, roundish, firm and perky in her belly, ass and luscious boo-bies.
Always treat women with dignity, even when you’re
treating them like ass-licking semen slaves made for yourpleasure. ThornDaddy
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So, now that you know all about this stuff, you might be saying
“I’m into it! Where can I find women to do stuff like this? Well,keep reading, eager male. >>>>
CHAPTER 9
Where To Find Willing Women
This chapter may seem out of order, like it should have beenone of the first chapters, but I intentionally placed it later in thebook. Because you aren’t ready to find them until you know whoyou’re looking for and what to do with them.
Some of you reading this book already have a woman, and just picked
this book up to learn how to fuck her better. Or you’ve got a woman,and want another woman to play with you and your woman in king-likethree-way bliss.
Or you’re 35, still live in your parent’s basement, and want to meet a
girl who’s got a little more going for her than the avatar you boughtlast month on Second Life.
My first advice: move our of your parent’s basement. And if you’ve
already done that, and live with roommates, try to move out and livealone. Earth-shaking “so good even the neighbors had a cigarette” sexis a problem if you live with people. Become independent, rule yourown life, you won’t have to worry about anyone else, and you’ll alsobecome more confident, which women dig.
And living alone is a great monastic way to hone your sex skills. For
many reasons. First, you can live without interruptions, the better totrain your mind and body. How are you going to masturbate nine hoursa day to plump mature porn with a Flex-o-Pleaser up your bum toreprogram your instincts if your parents are in the house? (Come on!You’re over 18! Move out for cripe’s sake!) And how are you going tospend the time needed to devote your mind and soul to self-improve-ment to become worthy of being a sex master if you’ve roommatesbugging you to go drinking or to have a house meeting about who did-n’t do the dishes? How are you going to encourage a woman to openher soul in your bed when people can hear in the next room? How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Watch the movie Taxi Driver. Live like that guy. Except do it for good,
not for evil. That is, devote yourself that heavily to self-improvementand training. And work toward the goal of fucking the brains out ofcurvy, pervy ladies, rather than killing senators.
When you live alone, you will more easily learn to master yourself. And
only then, young Jedi, will you be prepared to master another.
WHERE TO START
Let’s say you’ve fucked a few women. But never been in a long-termrelationship that ended well. That’s pretty common. And let’s say youwant to move into a new realm of having a woman, or women, devot-ing their life to you in unblinking servitude, both in the bed and out. Orlet’s say you just wanna have a girlfriend.
Being in a relationship is different from fucking a girl. Even in a 24/7
BDSM relationship, you have to make sacrifices. You only deserve tohave another life in your control when you are willing to work with thatlife. Any master who tells you otherwise is not a true master, in mybook. And hey…this is my book. If you disagree, write your own book.
To learn to have another life in your hands, start small. Start with a
houseplant. If it doesn’t die, you’re ready to move up. Get a cat. If thecat thrives, you might be ready for humans.
Pet your cat often and tell her things like, “I’m proud of you. You’re a
brave and wonderful kitty.” Cats love that, at least the tone of yourvoice saying it (and because they arebrave and wonderful!), and you’ll
get into a good frame of mind for loving brave and wonderful cat-tastichumans.
MEETING WOMEN ONLINE
OK, since you didn’t quit reading after my “Second Life” quip, I’m goingto assume that maybe you spend some time on the Internet. TheInternet ain’t a bad place to meet women. I met my wife on theInternet.
First, STAY OFF OF MYSPACE!!!!!!! MySpace is, in my opinion, a fester-
ing example of everything that’s wrong with, not only the Internet, butwith the world . If you have a MySpace account, delete it NOW. Do not
send out a bulletin that says “I’m leaving this place because it sucks.”(Everyone laughs at those, anyway. Like, “What’s wrong, ya pussy?Couldn’t take the heat?”) Do not send messages to your so-called“friends” saying you’re leaving. Do not post any “find me here if youwant” forwarding information. Just LEAVE. ThornDaddy
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MySpace is, in my opinion, an open sewer of ego and low-self esteem,
sprinkled with phishing scams and bullshit advertisements competingfor your attention to sell you fake pheromone-spray, useless bling (bothreal world and virtual bling), while shilling this week’s reality-TV star’slatest “musical” effort.
Trying to meet worthy women on MySpace is like trying to meditate to
enlightenment in a room filled with eight TVs blaring eight differentshows, a juggler, a monkey, someone trying to sell you a used car, andsomeone else trying to mug you.
Also, EVERYONE LIES ON MYSPACE (even more than on the rest of the
Internet), IMHO, and not just the advertisers trying to cram bling downyour craw. People use doctored photos, only show their eyes or boobs,use photos that are ten years old, and claim to be much more thanthey are in their descriptions. Also, everyone lies about their age onMySpace, IMHO. Older people lower their age, and very young peopleraise their age, and people lie about who they even are, and grabsomeone else’s photo to do it. That 21-year-old hottie you’ve beencybering with? She’s probably either a 57-year-old obese gay maleshut-in, or she’s a ninth grader, and cybering with her may end up withyou stammering and crying apologetically to Chris Hansen on “To Catcha Predator.”
The table on this page perfectly breaks what lie each type of photo tells
on MySpace:
http://www.myspaceisgay.com/
Besides, is it even possible to findlove on a site owned by a company
with possibly the most reprehensible business practices ever?:
http://tinyurl.com/6ru386
SO, STAY OFF OF MYSPACE. And also stay off of any site that resem-bles MySpace. (Facebook, et al. There’s a billion of them, and they allsuck, IMHO.)
Stay off of Twitter, it’s a fucking short-attention span time-waster for
people with no lives.
Also, STAY OFF BONDAGE.COM AND ALT.COM
Both sites used to be OK. Then Penthouse bought them, and it seemslike Penthouse is trying to vanilla-ize both sites to bring in the blankfood tubes, while simultaneously eliminating the ability for anyone witha free (non-paid account) to do anything other than drool and mechani-cally enter a credit card number in a daze. More picking pockets byremote control. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I met my wife on Bondage.com, my fifth day on there, with a free
account. If Bondage.com were run then like it’s run now, I would havenever met Dollie. It is just too hard to communicate on there. Evenwith a paid account, they don’t let you do the things that define theopen ease of use of Web 2.0. For instance, you can no longer, underany circumstances, post a Web address anywhere on the site. This isostensibly to prevent spamming, but there never was much on the siteanyway. Some non-kinky marketing weenie from the new company justcame in and said, “This is how they taught me to do things in businessschool”, and they took away all the fun. And now on Bondage.com, youcan’t even post a non-commercial educational kink resource that couldsave lives. I got in trouble on the “new and improved” Bondage.com forposting a link to “The Acid Test for Doms” for a new submissive askinga question about safety.
Since the buyout, people have been leaving in droves, and it’s really
not the same beast any more. (Though it must be said thatBondage.com still has more members than the smaller kink Web com-munities I like, which I’ll reveal below. And sheer numbers can increaseyour chances of finding someone. Alt.com really has a lot of squickyhumans, and is also now owned by Penthouse. Alt has even moremembers than Bondage.com. So maybe you can find what you’re look-ing for on those sites, but I wouldn’t bother these days.)
READ “THE ACID TEST FOR DOMS”
This amazing treatise was written by a very smart, mellow, cool domnamed DrSpankenstein, and reading it has saved lives. It is writtenspecifically for sub women wanting to safely meet dominant men, toweed out the crazies, fakes and abusers. But it’s also got GREAT advicefor safely meeting in person anyone you’ve met online. READ IT READIT READ IT!
And of course, by publicizing the Acid Test in a book aimed at
male doms, you could say I’m risking “reveling women’s protec-tion secrets” to a small handful of abusive males. But I don’tthink so. The acid test is so foolproof that, if all the advice wasfollowed, it would still protect against a creepy male who read itto attempt to circumvent it.
You can read the Acid Test here:
http://www.askdollie.com/acid_test.htm
or hear Dollie Llama reading it, here:
http://www.askdollie.com/Submission-Coffee_12-25-07-
AcidTestForDoms.mp3ThornDaddy
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DON’T CYBER.
Real doms don’t cyber, at least they don’t make it the main goal. Thegoal is to meet women, not poke them via I.M. Guys who give “onlinecollars” live in their parent’s paneled basement rec room. Real domschat with women online a little, talk more about life in general and theirown view of the world, check out compatibility of the woman, thenmove on to the phone, then move on to real-life meetings. And realsubs don’t cyber. Real subs want to play with men in person.
To quote “The Acid Test For Doms”:
“(Women should avoid any man who says) ‘I want you to takemy collar before you play with me.’
“This is another common demand of fakes, most often made by
control freaks. They have to isolate you from other people andtheir advice, and sometimes a little ole ‘cyber collar’ is just thething! Cyber collars are worth less than the leather
required to make one .”
(Emphasis on last line is mine. And it’s funny, because “cyber
collars” are not real, and are thus not made of leather.)
OK, NOW I KNOW WHERE NOTTO GO, AND WHAT NOTTO DO.
BUT WHERE SHOULD I GO AND WHAT SHOULD I DO?
As for cool kink Web communities, I recommend (and am active on)
these two:
http://mydungeonspace.com/
http://triskelionsociety.com
Sign up is free, and they’re both run by people who do it because theylove kink, not because they’re trying to get rich. The first one has pre-mium (paid) accounts also, but you can do a lot on either site with afree account. And check out forums on both. Great information andcommunity there.
I’d recommend you don’t “walk into the room and hit someone over the
head with a chair” on either site. Don’t go in and start hitting onwomen. Go in and be a gentleman. Be smart. Be excellent. Readforums for a while, lurk before you post, figure out how things work,and who’s cool and who isn’t. (There’s weenies everywhere in thisworld, online and off. Except in my home. And in your home, if youmake your own perfect little “nation of two” or “nation of three.”) How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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As for “being excellent” I don’t mean “be right.” Good submissive
women (and the doms on those sites, for that matter) are going to dis-like you intently if you jump in and try to “prove to everyone howeverything should be done”, especially in kink. Especially if you don’thave a lot of real-life experience with kink. And they’ll be able to tell,even if you “know the lingo.” There’s a lot more to it than that.
Once you’ve been excellent in public on the forums for a few weeks,
find the women who are single and seem worth talking to. E-mail them.Also friend and talk to men who seem cool. That’s part of being “in thecommunity”, makes you less of an HNG, and you can learn a lot fromother doms. And many are willing to help you with information.Dominants tend to like to teach.
Write the cool women, and don’t hit on them. Chat them up, don’t hide
the fact that you might be interested, but do not start with “ON YOURKNEES, BITCH!” This will get you ignored and probably banned fromthe site.
AVOID WEENIES
There are people on any Internet site who live to push people’s but-tons. Most of them live in their parents’ basement. Do not engagethem. Do not feed the trolls . There’s nothing to gain from it. Block
them and move on. They are “slack vampires”, to use a phrase fromthe Book of the Subgenius.
PROTECT YOUR IDENTITY, AS WELL AS YOUR ANONYMITY
Always put your real year of birth on your profile (do NOT lie aboutyour age), but never put your real birth dayon any Website. That just
makes it easier for people to steal your identity. Change your birthdayby a couple days. This is not lying, it’s protecting your ass from cybercrime. Also, don’t put the company you work for, your address, or,obviously, your phone number. And if you live in a really really smalltown, you might want to list your home as a couple towns over.
Once you meet someone and want to meet them in person, you can
give them a few real details, as you see fit (be careful about that too,until you really know someone). But you don’t need to have all yourinfo out there for everybody to see and steal.
If you’re in any kind of divorce situation, especially if it involves
a custody battle, or if you work with children for a living, bereally careful about putting photos of you or other info thatcould identify you. This is a tough balance, because profiles withno photo get about 1/10th of the responses as ones with, butsometimes you’ve got to take care of yourself. Maybe only senda photo to people you’ve chatted with online a little. This stillThornDaddy
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has the chance of someone “outing” you, but reduces the
chance by a large amount.
IN REAL LIFE
Basically, I suggest that you just become involved in the world, in anatural way. Get out of the house. Move around a bit. Then find yoursub (or subs), retreat from the world, and build your own little house oflove. That’s what I do. Dollie and I are also going to eventually buymany acres in Wyoming and build our own little world, a larger worldthan our current house in the suburbs. We’ll finally have a home forThe ThornDaddy Foundation . Our own promised land.
Picture Fight Club , but without the mayhem and fights. And with
women, instead of dudes, in the many bunk beds. I just want somespace between me and the world. My home is my castle, and I willdefend it. When I can hear your hip hop, power tools, yelling or yourfucking yappy dog inside my home with my windows shut, I feel likeyou’re violating my Fourth Amendment right to be secure in my home.
My wife and I are a “nation of two” (with occasional ongoing visits from
a sweet ambassador of love, the pet). We don’t need to go out andparty. We area party.
SO…probably the best way to meet kinky women is to become involved
with your local dungeon. Become a paid member, go to orientationsand classes as well as play parties, and find out where the munchesare. I don’t party. I don’t go to bars. (I don’t even drink. I used to, butI’m a drunk so I stopped years ago.)
Munches are meetings of kinky people in a non-kinky public setting,
just to get to know other kinky people. They are often held in restau-rants, so dressing “kinky” is forbidden. Dress normal. Hitting on peopleat munches is forbidden too, to encourage subs and newcomers to feelcomfortable. Munches are just to meet people, not just for play, but forfriendship.
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
Match make your friends. It’s good karma, and also gets you talkedabout as a right-on guy, and tends to make people match make you.But don’t do it for that reason. Do it if you meet a girl who you thinkwould be right for one of your guy friends, but not for you. Set themup, selflessly, and then walk away. If it’s meant to be, it will happen. Ifnot, you did your good deed for the day and can turn your BobcatBadge over anyway. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Don’t just hook people up romantically. Help people with any “network-
ing.” (God, I hate that term. Reminds me of Mike from Marketing.)Hook deserving people up with roommates, band members, jobs, etc.It’s good for your soul, and can come back to you with a cascade ofpussy, luck, money and more.
PERVERT’S PARADISE
I swear, if I weren’t married, I’d go to Home Depot to get laid. It’sabout the only place where women absolutely always make eye contactwith me and smile. I think it’s because they’re kinky. Dollie says it’sbecause I always have so much fun there, that I look like a kid in acandy store.
I’d probably also try large pet stores or equestrian supplier. Though I’d
recommend you don’t walk up to vanilla women and say, “Excuse me,miss, can I try this collar on you? My dog’s neck is about the same sizeas yours.”
DRESS:
A lot of kinky people are really into the “look”, and a lot of the “looks”seem rather cliché to me. Some hetero dominant guys are into the“purple cape” look, with a lot of “knights of yore” flash and spookymagikal accoutrement. Most of the other straight doms (and even somestraight female subs) seem to be into the leather look, which justmakes me think of the Village People (gay) or Rob Halford from JudasPriest. (Really really really gay, incredibly gay, I mean, fucking faggybend-me-over-the-pool-table GAY….and that’s coming from me, a guywho’s had a dick or two up my own bunghole in my distant past.Though that fucker can really really SIIIIIING!) What a lot of verystraight male doms into leather don’t know is that the leather-boytough-guy look as “shorthand” for bondage evolved from the first mar-ginally “out” BDSM culture in America: gay leather bikers, which wascodified by gay soldiers returning from WWII.
I’m not into protocol, and I dress the same going to the post office as I
do while whippin’ on ladies, at home or at the dungeon. Which means Ialways dress like a sloppy skater dude. I dress like this because it’scomfortable. If you met Dollie and I, had dinner with us, you’d probablyhave no idea that we’re kinky, except that we seem a lot happier andmore relaxed than most couples. Because we have so much sex. Youdon’t need to yell “I’m kinky!” to attract kinky women. You don’t haveto wear a “BDSM is cool” T-shirt. Just your smell should let them know.Just the sound of your voice. Remember, they’re the same species, andcan recognize it without the freak flag flying.
Just be yourself when trying to meet women. If that includes leatherThornDaddy
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tough-guy duds or fruity purple capes, more power to you. I’ll be home
whipping on ladies in slips while wearing sneakers, shorts and a T-shirt.
CHAPTER 10
How to Keep Women Coming Back, and Begging for More
(Other than fucking her brains out, there’s a little more to it
than that….)
At the risk of sounding square here, I’ll say something you’ve heard
before from people you don’t like: The key to any sound relationship iscommunication.
It’s true. The difference is, the communication comes with a different
entry level of parameters in kink than it does in the vanilla world ofgood marriages, or in the plastic world of TV talk show “We’ve broughtout this prominent psychologist (who just happens to have a new bookout) to solve all your communication problems in 30 minutes (Well, 24minutes and 30 seconds, with commercials).
For instance, most non-kinky people, knowing all the details of my
marriage with Dollie would see it as dysfunctional at best, and abusiveat worst. Many people would say “OK, you say you two have a greattime, but you beat her. How can that be healthy? And you say you loveher, but you bring other women into your bed. How can there be posi-tive communication? You’ve brainwashed the woman. She must havelow self-esteem and needs to leave you and get years of therapy.”
People who would say that just don’t get it. I could probably tell them,
“It’s a kink thing, you wouldn’t understand.” But I don’t want to talk tothose people. I don’t want to defend my love, and don’t really need to.I am a good dominant, and good dominants walk away from confronta-tion. Macho assholes stay and fight. I know that to win in this world, Ishould only dominate those who welcome my strong hand. The rest, I’llavoid.
I don’t only hang out with kinky people. Many of my friends are non-
kinky, and a lot of people at the dungeon who try to talk to me boreme to snores because all they want to talk about is kink. But myHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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friends all know I’m kinky, have checked out the podcast, at least once,
and are kink friendly. I cannot have conversations with people who arenot kink friendly. About anything. Because while kink is by far not all Iam, it’s so deeply a part of me that if you reject it, you reject me. Mywife is the same way.
So to people who think that consensual loving kink is abuse, I balk.
If you really want proof that BDSM is not abuse, and really want
proof that the key to love is honesty and trust and communica-
tion, even in the BDSM world, be sure to read Appendix One.
You have to understand a few things to try to get what I mean by “The
key to any sound relationship is communication” and how that isn’t acontradiction to the fact that I leave welts on my lover’s ass some-times, or that I make her do dishes in high heels, a slip, a ball gag anda butt plug. Or that I bring other women into our bed, and that some-times in the past, that has made her sad. (Read Appendix Three, “PolyDollie” for her explanation of how she overcame that sadness.) Whatyou have to understand is that Dollie and I started from a differentplace than most couples.
When I first met her I told her I could never have just one woman. She
agreed to this condition. That’s communication, and it brings a relation-ship to a different starting point than those in the vanilla world. I alsotold her that I could never love anyone “forever”, but that I could loveher one day at a time. I still love her more than any woman I haveever met, and our relationship has lasted longer than any I’ve everbeen in. Because of communication. And because of our respect for ourpreexisting agreements. And because a good master-slave relationshipis the end of the war of the sexes. And because she and I are bothhypersexual and very compatible. And because we’re friends . Best
friends. She’s my desert island human. In fact, I’m making a desertisland with her and shutting out most of the world, because when youhave a love like ours, the rest of the world, in all its lies, scams, ego,strife and even cheapening of sex, makes less and less sense as some-thing to be a part of.
Dollie and I often sit up late into the night talking about everything
under the sun. That’s the person you want to take to a desert island.That’s the person you want to marry.
I fucked over 200 women before I found the right one. Actually, two or
three of them could have possibly been the right one. I’m not of thathippie-dippie persuasion that believes that there’s only one person foreveryone. But none of those 200 became Mrs. ThornDaddy, partiallybecause most of them were very willful, and partly because I was notThornDaddy
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yet worthy.
I hate to add in more hippie bullshit here, but just think of me as a
hippie who owns a shotgun, and it may be easier to swallow. But life is
a journey, not a destination . If you don’t find the one your first week
looking, keep looking. And keep honing all your life skills and peopleskills and sex skills and love skills and communication skills. Maybe thefirst 199 girls are the training for you to be ready for the one .
The key to communication within a master/slave relationship is this:
There has to be some give and take, even if they exist to do what yousay. Be human with them. There has to be honesty and there has to betrust.
DON’T BE AN ASSHOLE
There’s a few thing that will drive women away really quickly. One isabuse. Don’t hit, and don’t yell. I have yelled at a few of my past girl-friends. It hastened the end of the love, and some of them would prob-ably cross the street to avoid me. Not that I’m a danger to them, butjust that the memories they have are so emotionally disturbing thatthey’d rather do anything but talk to me, because they’d think I’m stilllike that.
I never yell at my wife. On the rare occasion I’m mad at her enough to
yell (maybe one or two times a year), I just speak to her quietly, andin a disappointed voice. If I need to, I can make her feel far worsedoing that that I could by hitting her or smashing all the furniture.
DON’T INTERFERE WITH THEIR FAMILIES
Don’t interfere with their families, don’t keep them from seeing theirfamilies. Unless the have family members who are emotionally abusiveto them. Then discuss the situation, and as her protector, help her takeaction. This action may include diminishing or even severing contactwith those family members, but this choice is not to be made lightly.
The amount of control family members, in particular parents, can have
on people even to old age, even past the death of the parents, issometimes astonishing. Remember, “Your parents can push your but-tons because your parents installed your buttons.” But emotional abuse
is still abuse. Protect your girl from abuse.
YOU HAVE TO BE IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF TO CONTROL ANOTHER
Avoid booze and drugs to excess. If you drink too much, or do hardHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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drugs, this shit ain’t gonna work for you. Get help. Join a 12-step fel-
lowship. I did. Saved my fucking life.
Booze and heroin brought out my true sadism, which is all emotional
sadism. Heroin because it dulled the horrible feeling I get from makingsomeone I love hurt, and booze because it actually stoked the fires ofhatred, and didn’t make dull the horrible feeling I get from makingsomeone I love hurt. Turned into a red hot explosion. I called this“hammer of hate behind my eyes” in one song I wrote, and sang “mybrains are blowing out from pressure-jealousy” in another song.
DON’T THINK YOU CAN’T BE REPLACED IF YOU FUCK UP
Men cheat on women more than women cheat on men. What womentend to do is far more subtle, and more…ladylike.
Every woman in the world knows at least one guy who has subtly chat-
ted her up, her yoga teacher, a co-worker, a friendly neighbor. Whenmen in relationships are confronted with this type of flirting, they oftenflirt back, openly. Dumb. Women don’t. They just smile, are sweet, andfriendly, without doing anything that any jury could peg as flirting. Butyour woman knows that guy would make sweet sweet love to her allnight long with nary a word. Hell, he’d probably support her too. Ifyou’re an asshole, she will leave, and give that “waiting in the wings”guy a call.
Don’t act like you’re the only game in town, you’re not. What you have
to really do is be the bestgame in town.
TAKE CARE OF YOUR SLAVE
Take care of your slave. She’s your servant, but be nice to her. Loveher. Rub her back. Pet her. Kiss her. Listen to her. Suck her pussy often,not just on her birthday and New Years. Sure, she’ll still blow youmore, after all, she is a slave, but once in a while, toss her down andlick that little flower, and good. And remember, if you have absolutetrust from her, and give her reason to give you that same trust, youcan do anything you want with her.
Dollie adds: Encourage her to better herself, to learn new things,
and not just sexually. Teach her. Give her freedoms if she needsthem, or hold her on a close lead if she craves it (and as it suitsyou). ThornDaddy
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CHAPTER 11
How to Keep Women in Line
This is really a tricky one. No one can really “keep someone in
line” in a loving relationship. The slave can leave any time shewants. However….
Women who like to be kept in line exist. It’s not sexist. and there’s men
who like to be controlled and it’s the same thing. I have a lot of femaledominant (domme) friends, and dig their work.
If the Universe pairs you with a woman who wishes to have you take
any amount of control of her life, accept the gift. Just don’t abuse it.It’s a rare and radiant blessing.
Some submissives have the desire and need for a lot of affirmative
control, and if they don’t receive it, they feel that their needs are notbeing fulfilled and they will look elsewhere. These are the women whowill best respond to things that might seem bizarre to the uninitiated,such as having to ask their master permission to speak or even use thebathroom, who may be asked to go stand in the corner, who have anenforced bedtime, even though they are adults.
Some vanilla people, including some psychiatrists, have suggested that
this is a result of low self-esteem, that women like this are “broken.”(And that they require, of course, years of extensive and expensivetherapy.) I disagree with this. I know many submissive women in veryintense 24/7 BDSM relationships who have healthy self-esteem and stilllove to be controlled. They live for it, and love it.
In cases where there has been childhood abuse, or simply emotional
distance from parents, adults who practice BDSM, I believe, arereclaiming and righting the abuse and neglect, and doing it in a healthyand in-control way.
I’ve met others, including my wife, who do not like a stern hand, who
are cowed by heavy discipline. But she says “If you never correctedme, on anything, I’d wonder if you were noticing me.” My guidance ofher is much more mellow, and more based on reward than on punish-ment. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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(This part written by our cool friend, Illustrated Tart):
I wonder what people would say if I “came out?” If I openly con-
fessed to how I’m comfortable showing my adoration? Whatwould they all say if I confessed that as an adult I have anenforced bedtime on weekdays? How would they react if theyknew how much I fantasized about focusing a lot of my energyon things for his comfort and pleasure?
Would I be considered sick, helpless, brainwashed? For the life of me I can’t understand why aggression and domi-
nance is a “must have” skill. What about the ease of a submis-sive, a supportive person? I’ve always felt better in the sup-port/secondary role. Leading stresses me out to be honest. Iexcel under good leadership. I’m an introvert and very intro-spective, leadership and aggression are not things I enjoy. Forevery leader and dominant personality you need the complimen-tary part. If everyone is a leader problems arise – the phrase“too many chefs in the kitchen” comes to mind.—Illustrated Tart
http://www.underthisbenevolentdictatorship.blogspot.com/
BE WITH THE RIGHT WOMANSome marriages fail because the husband is caught looking at porn. Mywife likes porn as filthy as the stuff I like, maybe filthier. We share ourporn, gleefully. Some marriages fail because the husband is caughtfucking another woman. I fuck the other woman with my wife, and shedigs it. And we have an unwritten “pre-nup” with regards to other girls.That was part of our deal.
Some marriages fail because, even though the people are compatible
sexually, they don’t have much to talk about. Or with time, they growapart. Or one (or both) are nuts.
Avoid nutty women. Find healthy submissive women that you like out-
side the bed, as well as in bed. It’s worth the wait and worth thesearch. And so what if you have to stick your dick in a few who aren’t“the one” first? That’s still fun, and just consider it training for beingthe right man for the right woman. ThornDaddy
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(Just don’t allow any misconceptions about the relationship to exist,
yours or hers.)
I adore women, they should be protected and stroked and made to
smile. There are some who are naturally submissive. If you are natural-ly dominant, and a decent guy, this type is for you. If you are not dom-inant, and/or a creep, do the world a favor and just fuck sluts. Slutsare women who have the sexual ideals of men. That’s not bad, but it’snot what I look for any more. I used to, but always ended up mad atthem and them mad at me, because it was two people who were iden-tical in desires butting heads. Sluts will get on their knees and do yourbidding, but only to get you to do their bidding.
Submissives are very different. They exist to serve. and they are sweet
and love men. THEY ARE NOT LESS THAN THE MEN THEY ARE SERV-ING. It is not a case of “the man is better and the woman is the lowlyslave.” It is very different from this. A good pairing of a compatiblemaster and slave is a symbiotic beautiful relationship where the twotogether are more than the sum of the parts. This takes a certain typeof man, just as it takes a certain type of woman, and if you’re not thistype of man and/or she’s not this type of woman, you might be betteroff with garden-variety party girls and sluts. If you are not dominant,maybe you are submissive and should find a dominant woman and besubmissive to her.
(Or maybe you’re not kinky, but that’s not who I’m talking about here.) DON’T YELL
Don’t yell (unless it’s part of sex play, and in fun). You don’t need tobring the neighbors into this. You can be firmer and scarier, if you needto, being really really quiet when someone expects you to be reallyloud. It’s reptilian, and it’s a nice skill to know. Use it sparingly.(Remember that skinny woman with all the cats and the knife waitingfor you to fall asleep.)
PUNISHMENT
Be cool, and be careful. You slave is not an emotional whipping toilet.Keep any humiliation play / punishment play separate from any realpunishment. You should probably never actually humiliate your slave. Idon’t. I couldn’t bear the thought. A truly decent person doesn’t takepleasure in making another being feel truly small. Take into account thefragilities of all humans, and especially your dear sweet slave, and par-ticularly with regard to any issues she may have with her upbringingand past abuse. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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PASSIVELY TRAINING YOUR SLAVE
Make her listen to “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE” non-stop. It’s educa-tional, entertaining, and will make her horny as hell.
TAKE US EVERYWHERE!
Sure, you can listen to our podcast on your computer, but youreally need an MP3 player, so you can always have us with you.(And it’s important that you always have us with you, to comfortyou and guide you!) And get one for your slave, and assign it toher as homework. Fill it with episodes of our casts and give it toher for her birthday, or as a reward just for being a good girl!
This MP3 player on Amazon (Coby MP-C896 MP3 Player with 2
GB Flash Memory, FM Radio & USB Drive) is much cheaper thanan iPod (40 bucks), and will hold about 30 of our episodes,
www.amazon.com/Coby-MP-C896-Player-Flash-
Memory/dp/B000PL60YE/
so you and your slave can take us everywhere!
If that’s more than you need, this one (Coby MP-C827 MP3
Player w/128 MB Flash Memory & USB Drive) is 20 bucks andholds two hours of us:
http://www.amazon.com/MP-C827-Player-Flash-Memory-
Drive/dp/B000E873QM/
You can download our archived episode lessons, singly or inlarge zips of multiple casts, or on BitTorrent (please seed!) here:
www.askdollie.com/archives.htm
CALL AND HEAR US!There’s a new service called podlinez.com that says on their sitethey’re free and you can call a number they’ve assigned to apodcast and hear the latest episode. The number they’reassigned to Submission and Coffee is 360-227-5757. I tried itand it worked, but I can’t guarantee it will stay assigned forever.But try it. It’s kinda cool, you can listen to us even if you’re notnear a computer.
HAVE YOUR OWN ROOM
Having your own room will make it easier to “keep your woman in line”,because she won’t be as” in your head” when you need some space.
I like having my own room, because I like my room looking like a
man’s room. My room looks like a dorm room/recording studio, office,with clothes on the floor. My wife’s room looks like a woman’s room.ThornDaddy
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Clean, light, nice, with women’s clothes and little female touches and
cutsie things everywhere. Too often, when a couple lives together andshares one room, the woman “wins” – i.e. the room looks like awoman’s room, even though there’s a man sharing it. Or it becomes socompromised that it’s sterile, and no one “feels at home.”
That’s no way for a man to live. Have separate rooms and separate
beds if you can. If you don’t have room, work toward improving yourlife so you can have separate rooms and separate beds. We do, and Ibelieve it will help allow us to stay married forever. We still sleeptogether, but you have the option to sleep alone, if someone’s snoring,if you have different work schedules, if you just need some time. It willsave your relationship. Everyone needs some space, and everyoneneeds a place to call their own, even if they’re bonded for life withsomeone else.
(Dollie was a bit subdued by this idea at first, there’s so much “societal
normalcy” in the whole concept of “the marital bed”, but she’s come tolove it, and cherishes her space as much as I do.)
DON’T BUY HER DIAMONDS….
…just really love her instead.
Diamonds are a scam. Diamonds are a way for women to keep menin
line. Diamond ads basically tell men “If you don’t give our corporationfour months’ salary, you will die alone and unloved.” This is horseshit,and also makes men subservient, not only to the diamond companies,but to the women. There is nothing you have to give a really goodwoman, other than shelter, food, great sex, great conversation, andyour undying affection. Notice there’s no “diamonds” on that list.
Diamond ads on TV offend me far more than adult double-anal penetra-
tion hardcore porn offends an octogenarian Baptist Republican like mypoor old dad. (And believe me, that would really offend him, if he eversaw any. I doubt he has. He can barely check his e-mail without callingme for tech support. But I know that the idea of porn really offendshim. Even though the first hardcore porn I ever saw was under hismattress.)
One of the many reasons I dig my wife is she agrees with me that the
societal directive for people to buy diamonds to prove love is silly.We’re far more concerned with the eternal than the external.
I did give her a wedding ring, and she loves it but I didn’t spend 1/3 of
a year salary on it. It’s a tiny diamond that belonged to my mother. Idon’t wear rings, so Dollie didn’t buy me one. I don’t need to wear aHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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finger collar to show the world I’m loved. Dollie’s love shows the world
I’m loved.
When we got married, she bought me a really good microphone for our
podcast instead of a ring, and I bought her more computer memory asa wedding gift.
I love my wife, I love my wife, and shimmery glistening chunks of
dead, cold squished coal have nothing to do with my love.
If you love your woman, and don’t want her to have a leash around
your neck, don’t buy into the lie. Give her love, not dead, cold carbon.
DON’T BE TIED DOWN
I have no desire to leave my wife, but I could. She knows this. She sawhow I lived before she saved me from the hood and brought me to abetter life. But I’m like a cat. I can always go back. Other people can’tgo back where they came from. Being able to live on nothing makesyou better at living on a lot.
I can pack my life in a back pack. I live in a studio apartment within
our home. I don’t need bling. My world fits in a laptop and even if thatwere gone, it’s backed up, encrypted on servers from Singapore toMontreal, with passwords that only exist in my memory. I cannot betied down. My uber-potential for mobility makes it easier for me tostay, and makes her continue to earn her keep on Planet Daddy.
A lot of people stay in bad relationships because they have so much
tying them together. I do everything with my wife, but keep my lifesimple so the ties would be easy to sever if they ever needed to be.And that makes it far less likely that they’ll ever need to be.
CHAPTER 12
Overcoming Adversity
Any relationship, even a near-perfect kinky one, will have somehardship. It’s not allkittens and cream. And even when the rela-
tionship is perfect, sometimes the plastic world seeps throughthe cracks and pokes at your perfect “nation of two” (or “nationof three”). ThornDaddy
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BABIES
In case you were raised by Baptists and your parents never told you,we’ll tell you: sex can lead to babies. Nothing is as adverse to having agreat sex life as having a baby to deal with.
Get fixed. Do it. So you don’t fucking pollute my earth with more melp-
ing, shitting blobs of protoplasm. Your baby will just grow up and mugme. Get fixed now. Or use condoms, religiously.
DISEASE
“I remember when sex was safe and music was dangerous.”—Me
Sex can lead to disease. I recommend getting checked out, using rub-
bers while you search for the right bitch(es), then fluid bonding withher (them). End of problem.
MISMATCHED SEX DRIVES
I have an extremely high sex drive. My wife’s is even higher, but it’snot a problem. I help keep her happy by reaching over and rubbing herpussy until she cums, five or six times a day. This is fun to do, evenwhile we’re watching a movie, at home, or in a theater (under a coaton her lap). She loves it. She also masturbates alone sometimes, usu-ally when I’m sleeping. And I often masturbate alone, usually whenshe’s at work. It’s all good, and neither of us are threatened or made tofeel less by this.
If your sex drive is higher than your woman’s, and you don’t wanna get
a different woman, try this: lay next to her and beat off while she kiss-es on you and hugs you. (If you’re right handed, she should probablybe on your left side, and vice versa.) She should pet you, encourageyou, rub your balls and do anything else you want done, and do it reg-ularly without question. If she’s willing to do that, you can probablymake it work. It’s damn sexy to have a woman do this. And often,they’ll get turned from this, and want to have sex.
If her sex drive is higher than yours, you do the cuddling on her, while
she masturbates. Hold the vibrator on her if you want.
Sometimes, even if a couple has closely matched sex drives, there is a
smaller issue of the man’s mood totally changing after he cums. This isnatural, happens to a lot of men, and can make the woman feel leftout, since she’s still hot to trot. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Usually, while you “recharge”, your dick may or may not get hard, but
it will probably get very sensitive. Many men do not like to get blownright after they cum. Just have her clean the cum off your balls andtummy, and give you a backrub until you’re ready again.
If it’s less a matter of sex drives and more like you’re kinky and she
isn’t, it can be a big problem. Some people are just not wired kinky.But some are, and don’t know it. You might be able to “bring it out”,but you can’t make something exist that isn’t there.
If you’re kinkier than your partner (or vice versa) you might want to
get this book, When Someone You Love Is Kinky ,
http://www.amazon.com/When-Someone-You-Love-
Kinky/dp/1890159239
read it, then give it to her. Might help.
Also, sometimes in long-term, loving relationships, when one partner
suddenly discovers their kink (this sometimes happens later in life, itdid with Dollie), the couple has a loving discussion, and an agreementis come to. Sometimes a married couple will agree to let one partnergo have kinky interactions outside their marriage, with the blessing ofthe other partner. Sometimes this involves sex, sometimes not.Sometimes the need for kink is more than the need for kinky sex, andcan be satisfied just by finding someone to whip, or being whipped by.And there are women (and men) who can enjoy being whipped outsideof sex.
JEALOUSY
Women are smarter than us, and more glorious. Men are more or lessinferior. However, with women, the pussy bone is connected to theheart bone. Not always true with men. The dick bone is often connect-ed to the jealousy bone.
My wife is hot, but she’s experienced. She’s had, among many other
experiences, the joy of being fucked by seven men at once, more thanone time (with different men each time), before we met, at swing par-ties. That’s fucking hot. And better than fucking some younger womanwho doesn’t have that type of experience. And even though Dollie hasbeen very into group sex in the past, she’s very very happy just fuckingme now. (Though she also says that having sex with me can feel likefucking several men at once. the pet says this too.)ThornDaddy
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NON-ORGASMIC WOMEN
Well, this book has taught you how to find, meet and train women whoare already orgasmic. But what if you’re already with a woman, youlove her, and she doesn’t cum easily, or at all?
Most everything in this book will produce orgasms in women, and plen-
ty of orgasms. But the ancient trick for getting women to be orgasmicis to just buy them a vibrator (I recommend the Hitachi Magic Wand.)
Have her use it alone, and use it with her. Then have her use it aloneagain. Most women are unable to resist the charms of the ‘Wand.
If your woman has deep-seated issues, perhaps from past abuse, that
gets in the way of her claiming her God-given right to cum like a ban-shee in your bed, I do not recommend avoiding therapy. Just makesure the therapist is kink-friendly. Some are, some aren’t, and just viewit as abuse. Here’s a list of therapists who do not view BDSM as abuse,and are friendly to kinky people as patients without trying to “cure”them of it:
http://www.ncsfreedom.org/index.php?option=com_keyword&id=270
(The list includes not only therapists, but kink-friendly doctors andlawyers, too.)
IMPOTENCE
Forget pills, potions and gels. That’s just more bullshit of the “con” try-ing to pick your pockets by remote control. And those pills have a listof side effects with so many horrible things, including death, that I’dnever take one.
I don’t get impotent much, but when I do, I don’t worry about it. I tell
the bitch to open her legs, lick her pussy and butthole until she’ssquirming. Then I grab some lube and pour it over my hand. I rub it onher pussy, my palm, my knuckles and my dick. Then I jack off my limpdick while rubbing my knuckles on her pussy and butthole. She getsoff, I start getting off, I get hard, then I stick it in her pussy (or butt-hole, if she’s cleaned out like a good girl) and splurt. She says “thankyou, Sir!” while kneeling before me.
If you have trouble getting it up, eat pussy. Women love it, they may
just forget you can’t get it up, and it might also get you hard. If itdoes, she’s wet and good to go for you to slide it in. Also, treat her likea whore. Slap her on the ass, watch porn while doing so, talk dirty, andthink of something filthy. If it helps, I like this fantasy: think of yourbitch as one of several bitches you own, and you’re taking them to adungeon or swing party and passing them around (either as punish-How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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ment or reward…take your pick, depends on the girl). Making them lick
assholes, suck cock, lick pussies full of cum, felching (sucking cum outof the ass) of various men and women, men and women they don’teven know the name of. Maybe they’re blindfolded and don’t even SEEwho they’re servicing. They’re the BELLES OF THE SWING PARTY.
And actually try blindfolds on her. That can help you get it up.
Sometimes you just don’t want to see your bitches eyes looking at youwith love. The eyes arethe window to the soul, and sometimes it will
make you harder quicker to just use your bitch as a fuck toy and forgetthat she’s a deep and thinking creature.
(This is part of why I love porn and hate the idea of going to a strip
club. In a strip club, you can see their eyes see yours, and know thatthey’re lying about liking you. In porn, they can’t react back, and it’seasier to objectify them.)
SAYING GOODBYE IF IT DOESN’T WORK OUT
When it comes time to end it, if she’s not the one for you, you’re notthe one for her, or if she’s too high-maintenance emotionally, or espe-cially if she’s nuts (or for any other reason), do it with respect. No onelikes to be “dumped”.
I’m still friends with my first-ever girlfriend, and a lot of gals in
between. And a few women I’ve dated wanted to kill me. I had to callthe cops on one, because she kept leaving “I’M GOING TO KILL YOUAND I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE” phone messages after I gently let hergo.
The question of whether to keep her as a friend or not is tough. I think
for this, you have to be really honest with yourself about your motiva-tions. If your motivation is to “string her along” to keep her around forsex, fuck you. Women deserve honesty, and this type of shit will hurttheir souls. (And they might kill you in your sleep.) However, if youthink she can be released as your slave, but handle still being a fuckbuddy, it might be worth a try. But you also have to make sure she canhandle that. Some women will trick themselves into thinking they can,in order to have a chance at “winning you back” or just to bask a littlein your presence.
And do keep in mind that even a respectful release can make some
people really upset. ThornDaddy
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STALKERS
I’m no lawyer, but here’s what’s worked for me….Here is my experi-ence with harassment from afar: If it gets to a bad place, and I have tocall the cops, I call the cops in MY town, not the alleged harasser’stown. Seems odd, but the police told me (after several phone calls toboth places), that it’s dealt with where the alleged threats are*received*, not where they are *made*. And I called the non-emer-gency police number, not 911, to make a report like this.
I’ve done this once, when an ex-girlfriend was making repeated threat-
ening calls after I got married. The cops in my town called her in hertown, talked to her, and it stopped.
I’ve also put exactly one restraining order on someone, guy who was
repeatedly threatening me (after I called 911 every time he beat hiswife, once while she was pregnant). He lived in my building (in apart-ment directly above me), a long time ago, before I moved to LosAngeles area (this is part of the REASON I left San Francisco after 16years of living there).
A restraining order takes a lot of effort, involves going to court, and is
only, in my opinion, for people who will not stop, are truly dangerous,and live in the same town.
Most people are not insane enough to keep pursuing you for long if you
ignore them. They want a fight, and will move on to the next victim ifyou don’t feed the beast with negative attention. They want youscared, and if you cease responding, they aren’t getting what theywant from you and will look for someone else to twist up.
So, my order of escalation for dealing with weenies who are going way
out of their way to wrongly impose their will on me is this:
1. Telling them “it’s over, please do not e-mail, call, write me or come
to my house”. 2. Ignoring. 3. Blocking e-mail, blocking phone number. 4. Have the cops call them. 5. Restraining order. 6. Moving to a different town, legally arming yourself, and starting over.
(I also keep a log and copies of any of these actions taken, and copies
and dates on any of their annoying contacts or threats. It can come inhandy, the further down the list you have to go.)
Usually it never gets past number 1 or 2, unless the person is insane. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I’d also say, from experience, if you have to have a TRO (temporary
restraining order) served (first step in getting a full restraining order,which can be good for three or more years), hire a process server,rather than having the cops serve the papers. Cops are not usually thatproactive about it. They’ve got real crimes to deal with, and preventingpossible future crimes is lower on their list, by necessity. And don’thave your cousin or brother or friend serve the TRO. It’s best to have asomeone you don’t know serve papers. Because yourcousin/brother/friend may get into it verbally (or physically) with thestalker, which will not help your case. Also, it is usually a legal require-ment that the person serving process is an “uninterested party.” Andthe person HAS to be of legal age.
I have security cameras outside my home and can see who’s out there.
Security cameras don’t cost that much, and are totally worth it (toknow who’s there, and also to have proof that they were there, if theylater deny it, or deny they acted inappropriately).
If the stalker showed up at my house, I wouldn’t open the door, I’d call
911 immediately. If the stalker came in uninvited, well, I own mace, astun gun and a shotgun. And I would only even consider using the lat-ter IN my home, and ONLY if the person were armed and trying to killme. California, unfortunately is not a “shoot the burglar” state. (Somestates are. In some states it’s a lot easier to shoot someone for simplystorming or breaking into your home. In California, you have to provethey were trying to kill you.)
Judges tend to NOT want to issue more intense (longer duration, fur-
ther distance the person has to stay away) restraining orders unlessthere’s an extreme danger to the party placing the order, because pre-venting people from traveling freely can tread into gray areas of consti-tutional law. I have gone through the effort only one time, when therewas genuine danger. Also, in my experience, have your paperwork per-fectly in order, and do not argue with the judge. Remain calm andyou’re probably more likely to get what you want in court.
One thing to know: a restraining order will not always restrain a truly
unbalanced person. It will sometimes even escalate their actions.However, a restraining order DOES make it easier to prosecute any newserious actions on their part later on.
I also have learned from past experiences, and try to stay out of pushy
people’s radar, and have had to become a very good judge of people’spersonalities and their potential to push.
Even so, a lot of people don’t like me, because I put my head aboveThornDaddy
154

the crowd and have strong opinions. Both in my kink persona and
under my legal name. Since I operate in both worlds, I’ve often gottwice the enemies people with similar visibility and attitude would have.
But I make it hard for people to stalk me. I don’t even post the CITY I
live in on the Internet. My phone number is unlisted. Less than tenpeople have my phone number, and five of them are family. I loveinterfacing with the world via the Internet, and in real life with a VERYfew special people, but I am a master who only wants to dominate peo-ple who want to be dominated. This helps keep crazy people out of myhair, too.
NEIGHBORS AND NOISE
Sex…if you’re doing it right, it can sound like abuse. My wife is ascreamer, and I slap her on the ass with a cane, and scream dirtywhore talk at her. She loves it, I love it.
But the neighbors may not love it. if you make enough noise, someone
might call the cops, thinking you’re abusing your woman (or killing her,if it’s really hot sex).
If the cops came to my door for this, I would yell “be right there”, have
me and the wife throw on bathrobes or long T-shirt, and answer thedoor together . We’d say “We’re just having hot sex”, and smile, and it
would be pretty obvious we were telling the truth. They might put us inseparate cars and question us, but I don’t think it would go much pastthat.
I would not let them come inside. They don’t need to see our dungeon.
They may have watched too many episodes of “Law and Order: SpecialVictims Unit” and feel that everyone into bondage is a serial murderer,and taser me. I’m not thatinto electrical play.
I don’t want the cops at my door. I’ve soundproofed my bedroom as
much as possible, and boarded up the window with three layers of ply-wood with cotton batting in between, then nailed a rug over it. (I alsoput a curtain between the last layer of plywood and the glass, so ournest doesn’t look like a boarded-up crack house from the outside.) Thistreatment sort of turns my room into an orgone chamber, but more-over, it keeps the outside noises out and the inside noises in. On thenext page is an image explaining how to do that.
Making my room a windowless chamber with rugs on the walls
make me think better, too. I tend to go 100 MPH in my life,working on many projects together, and outside interferencesclog my brilliant brain. I have cut the world out, created my ownHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
155

90 square foot fuck/think/work chamber within our 1200 square
foot townhouse. I don’t wanna hear your music. I wanna makemy own music, using ladies as my instruments.
However, if you are a renter, and can’t fuck up your house without los-
ing your deposit, try a ball gag on your girl. It will make your womanquieter, and it’s fun. Shut that bitch up. Many women love beinggagged, they love the feeling of being shut up by someone they loveand trust. (It’s your very important responsibility to keep an eye
on her, never leave her alone tied and/or gagged, and removethe gag IMMEDIATELY at the first sign of real distress or chok-ing or breathing issues.)
YOUR FAMILY DOCTOR
Doctors have to report any abuse a patient is suffering at the hands ofothers. If your doctor sees bruises on you or your woman from consen-sual sex, explain calmly and confidently that it is from consensualrough sex, you like it, and it is not abuse. If they believe you that it’sfrom rough sex but think that rough sex is abuse, I’d suggest you finda different doctor. (See Web link for list of kink-friendly professionalsabove, in the section on “NON-ORGASMIC WOMEN”.)
ThornDaddy
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PEOPLE SAYING YOU DID SOMETHING YOU DIDN’T
There have been a few high-profile cases of a sub agreeing to consen-sual bondage sex, the whole thing going too far, and then the sub suingthe dom, or trying to get him arrested for rape and/or abuse, later.There’s a few ways to avoid this.
First, don’t fuck crazy bitches. Meet any potential play partners in a
public place, and check them out. Get good at vetting humans, anddon’t just listen to your dick. If she seems nuts, at all, excuse yourselfand split.
Second, don’t EVER play while intoxicated. It is very very common for a
person to be high or drunk and agree to something that’s outside theircomfort zone, and regret it when they sober up. And you, as the dom,cannot makes safe decisions if you’re altered. So, play safe, play sane,play sober. You’ll remember it all better, too.
Third: contracts.
I’m not a lawyer, and this does not constitute legal advice, but this iswhat I do. The first time I play with a new woman, me and my wifehave the chick sign a release form, agreeing to whatever is/has beenplanned. If there is no definite plan, we agree that BDSM sex will occur,and that the woman’s safeword will be honored. Also, if we’re recordingit, we get written permission to do so, and to podcast later. Below isthe contract we used with the pet the first few times. (We also scannedher driver’s license to have proof of legal age, and proof of identity, onhand. A woman who doesn’t know you might not agree to that part,but the pet did, because Dollie and I are trusted members of the world-wide BDSM community.)
We also video recorded her signing this contract. We do that with all
play partners, in case they later try to claim that their signature wasforged or that they were forced to sign.
Release forms and video recording the signing are not foolproof, but we
feel they could help “make it go away” if we were accused of somethingwe didn’t do easier than having nothing in writing would.
(We all used our actual names in the contract, here they’ve been
changed to our “kink” names):
PODCAST AUDIO AND STILL IMAGE RELEASE
I, (the pet), an adult, hereby agree to have audio recordings of metalking about BDSM and sex, recorded with (ThornDaddy), his wife,How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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(Dollie Llama), used in podcasts called “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE.”
The podcasts may also include interviews with me about my sexuality,and other topics. The podcasts may also include audio recording of meengaging in consensual sexual activity, both of a BDSM nature or other-wise, with (ThornDaddy) and (Dollie Llama). The podcasts are beingproduced by (ThornDaddy) (as “ThornDaddy”). (Dollie Llama) appearsin the podcasts as “Dollie Llama.” I give (ThornDaddy), (Dollie Llama)and PEEP! Press the rights to use my words and voice, edited as theysee fit, in the podcasts.
I also grant (ThornDaddy), (Dollie Llama) and PEEP! Press the right to
use any digital still photographic images of me that do not reveal myface or identity in connection with the podcasts and related media oftheir choosing.
(ThornDaddy), (Dollie Llama) and PEEP! Press will not use or reveal my
true identity in the podcasts, or any future media produced from therecordings.
(ThornDaddy), (Dollie Llama) and PEEP! Press are not under any obli-
gation to use my recordings or images, but may do so if they wish.
I will not receive monetary compensation, but will be credited as “the
maid” or “the pet” and provided zip file copies on disc of the final
edited episodes of each podcast in which I appear.
I agree to have consensual BDSM sex sessions involving (ThornDaddy)
and (Dollie Llama) which may be used in connection with the podcasts.I understand what this entails, and understand that my “safeword”(RED) will be honored, meaning that all activity will stop immediatelyuntil any difficulty I have or am experiencing will be resolved to mycomfort.
On my own behalf, and on behalf of my heirs, next of kin, executors,
administrators, successors and assigns, I hereby release (ThornDaddy),(Dollie Llama) and PEEP! Press, theirs agents, licensees, successors andassigns, from any and all claims, liabilities and damages arising out ofthe rights granted hereunder, or the exercise thereof.
I hereby irrevocably grant (ThornDaddy), (Dollie Llama) and PEEP!
Press the right to use my voice, sounds and words from any and allpodcast recording sessions, in the podcast and in directly related mate-rials in perpetuity throughout the known universe, in any mediumsextant or later invented.
I agree to provide my legal identification for copying to (ThornDaddy),
(Dollie Llama) and PEEP! Press for copying and retention in theirThornDaddy
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records.
This release cancels, replaces and supercedes any and all prior releases
concerning my involvement with (ThornDaddy), (Dollie Llama) andPEEP! Press in connection with the podcast “SUBMISSION AND COF-FEE”, specifically and including the release pertaining to the recordingof “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE” of February 25, 2008.
This agreement and release may be terminated by any party upon writ-
ten notice to all other parties. However, cancellation may not and willnot impact use or continuing use of any previously recorded audio orstill images, which will remain subject to the above terms and condi-tions in perpetuity
Date: _____________________________Signature:__________________________
(the pet)
============-============-============-
==========================================-============-============-============-=====-=====
GOLDDIGGERS
Dump’ em. Name comes from “one who steals the gold from the teethof a corpse.” There’s various degrees of them – from “normal” women(remember my bit about diamonds??) to the skinny bitches (they’realways skinny) who slowly poison their men to get the house in theirname. (The woman my dad married after my mother kicked him out forcheating falls only a little short of this.)
And this book is mainly for dominant men, but if you’re a submissive
(or switch) man and looking to be dominated by women, you mightwant to read this bit of advice I wrote. (Hell, read it even you’re domi-nant, it may have something useful for ya anyway):
Should you decide you’re looking for a dominant woman, and
since you’ve mentioned the issue of who pays for dinner, under-stand that there exists the concept of “financial domination”,which seems to be more prevalent with female dominants thanHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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with their male counterparts (probably because there are more
rich men than rich women in the world). A Google search of theterm “financial domination”, in quotes, yields 203,000 hits. Arandom sampling indicates that most of them are women offer-ing this “service” to men. Read up on it, and find out if it’ssomething you’d be interested in. It generally appeals to richpeople who feel guilty about their wealth and find some relieffrom having some of it taken away by a dominant powerexchange.
Financial domination is not, in and of itself, an intrinsically evil
thing, if both parties agree up front that it’s what they want andneed. But be wary of anyone in this world (female or male, thisexists with both), who seek to take their partners (or anyone)into financial domination step by step without first calling it thatup front.
WOMEN WHO FAKE ORGASM
These should be cut out of your life, immediately. While some do it totry to please you more, most who do it are psychotic, and will probablykill you in your sleep. The main reason women do it is to “get you tofinish” and any woman who wants you to finish doesn’t really like sex,and has any number of twisted motivations for fucking you anyway,ranging from low self-esteem to golddiggery to they want to kill you inyour sleep. (Or with some bitches, all three of these reasons.)
It’s easy to tell if she’s faking. If you suspect she is, after she “cums”,
place your hand on her heart. When a woman really cums hard, herheart is beating really fucking hard. If she’s faking, it will be beatingnormally.
DEALING WITH THE BULLSHIT OF THE WORLD
If you start having incredible, frequent sex with someone you love,you’re not going to want to leave your house much. The world will bemore of an imposition on the little “nation of two” you’ve made. Mywife and I are like this. It’s a drag when she has to leave to go to work,when either of us have to attend to family stuff…..And why is family soimportant? It’s an accident of birth. Most families are so dysfunctional,that everyone would be happier never speaking again. Yet people areOBLIGATED to travel and eat and drink and do stupid shit once or twicea year to celebrate a god they don’t even understand. Fuck that. Oncekids are adults, they’re on their own. Once you’re an adult, you should-n’t bug your parents, parents should only to spend time with their adultchildren if they WANT to. Adults should be free to go create their ownfamily. My wife and I have done this – a family of two.ThornDaddy
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To better deal with the bullshit of the world, you need to improve your-
self. Some humans are constitutionally incapable of being nice, thisbook cannot help them. They need years of therapy. Some are con-fused and angry, but can “get it” with constant work.
Pray for your enemies. If you don’t pray, genuinely wish them well.
Daily. With time, the amount of space they take up in your head willdiminish.
I recommend you constantly work on self-improvement. A good place
to start is keeping a journal. That’s not faggy. Tough guys likeHemingway kept journals. Hemingway was a boxer, a gun slinger andfucker of women. Not a fucking sissy.
GUILT
There are a lot of people who don’t want you to have a great sex life(as if it’s any of their business). Their reasons vary: some book writtenthousands of years ago told them, or they think you’re hurting womenby fucking them really really well, or maybe they’re just not gettingmuch sex and they’re envious. Regardless, it’s your right as a humananimal on the planet earth to have as much sex as physically possible.Here’s how to deal with various people, thoughts, forces, movementsand conditions that conspire to keep you from squirting gallons ofspunk into and onto every part of many stunning and sultry womenevery day for the rest of your life.
GUILT – RELIGIOUS
I feel that religious men who try to squelch all but the most procreativesex are doing it because they are terrified of a woman’s orgasm. Eventhe most potent fucker like me can only come about a dozen times aday, many men far less, and some woman can cum a hundred times aday or more. A man’s few puny squirts seems like yawns in compari-son, so men try to subjugate all women against their will by trying tokeep them from choosing when, and with whom, to have sex.
I love my slaves-by-their-own choice and love to help them to as many
huge orgasms a day as possible. I’m not binding them, I’m liberating
them.
The Christian, Jewish and Muslim faith all came out of the same tree.
(If you don’t know this to be true, you don’t know much about history).A friend of mine said it well, when asked by his girlfriend, “Why hasthere always been so much fighting in the Middle East?” He said,How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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“Because Abraham had two sons.” That’s it in a nutshell, people. He
had two sons, Isaac and Ishmael. The Jewish and Muslim faiths spunoff these two cats. And Christianity spun off the Jewish faith.
I love God, and don’t want to denigrate anyone’s faith. And at the risk
of having people from all three camps wanting to kill me, I’ll say this:none of it makes much sense to me. And that’s not armchair punk rockbullshit, that’s coming from a former Christian who knows the Biblebetter than most Christians.
There are people of devout piety in this world, and as long as they
don’t impinge on my Constitutional rights to do whatever I want, withconsenting adults in my home, I’m fine with them. But as soon as theywant to stop me from my bedroom activities, I take up my pen andslay their swords. And I always win. Even if they kill me.(Remember….the book you hold is a holy book, and it’s your duty topropagate it on BitTorrent and in any other way you can.) This book“surrounds hate and forces it to surrender.”
HOW TO FUCK A WOMAN’S BRAINS OUT may be the most important
book ever. You know it. It will be read and loved by scholars as well asby people who’ve never read another book, and will be of equal impor-tance to both.
So, as for religious guilt, remember. Are you going to take moral advice
from people who still routinely cut off the clits of young girls?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_genital_cutting
You gonna let a celibate guy in a pointy hat who doesn’t even speakyour language tell you what to do?
I’ll tell you this. The Pope is banned for life from my ranch in
Wyoming. His name does not appear in mybook of life. He will
never make The Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption:
http://www.askdollie.com/goldenDisc.htm
You gonna listen to the commands of people from 2000 years ago (or
even 3000 years, in the case of the Old Testament)? People for whom,as one guy put it, “a wheelbarrow would have been a vast improve-ment in the current technology?”
Those dusty old books have some great stories, and they have more
sex and violence than all the rap songs AND country songs combined,but I do not feel any book (except maybe the one you’re holding) is thedivinely inspired work of God.
At least there are certainly no books that are the ONLY divinely inspired
work of God. That’s my problem with many religious people. They’reThornDaddy
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so goddamned sure that they’re RIGHT.
It’s amazing to me that the Catholics have ended up where they
are. The Roman Catholic Church claims to be the true inspiredChurch of Jesus, descended from the original 12 disciples (or the10 true disciples, they sometimes look at it that way, remember,Judas Iscariot sold Jesus out to have him killed, and Simon Peterdoubted and denied Jesus, thrice.) Jesus was put to deathspecifically for challenging organized religion. He broke bread
with whores, and he overturned the tables of the money chang-ers in anger, because their actions were upsetting to God. YetThe Church has evolved into the most organized, richest churchin the world. The Pope isn’t a religious leader so much as a king of a worldwide Kingdom. And I don’t recall Jesus silently pro-tecting child molesters, like various Popes have done for a longtime. The current Pope recently held a meeting to apologize topeople who had been sexually abused by priests as children,thereby finally admitting that there isa problem:
http://www.newsweek.com/id/132499?from=rss
Check out the BBC documentary, Sex Crimes and the Vatican
http://greylodge.org/gpc/?p=1392
It explores the existence of a Vatican directive concerning a
code of silence to protect priests who abuse children sexually.
Hell, the original things that Jesus was revolting against were
small compared to this. And yet Catholics get upset if you talkabout this stuff.
The Pope blames pornography for the disintegration of the family unit. I
blame the Roman Catholic Church for the disintegration of the familyunit.
Since the Church opposes all forms of artificial birth control, the Church
is directly responsible for overpopulation, which is the root of all majormaladies the world over, as well as being responsible for the comingtotal collapse of the infrastructure of the world (some time around2040, I’ll venture). And since the Church is to blame for uncheckedmultiple births by people not ready to have kids, this leads to boysbeing raised without fathers, or without competent fathers, which is themain cause for the generation of remorseless super criminals who willtry to make your life hell in the coming technological apocalypse. Thesedoods come in all colors, but you can easily spot them by their back-wards baseball caps, cheap showy bling and very loud voices. Theydemand to be heard , even though they have nothing to say. (Except,How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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“LOOK AT ME, FUCKERS!”) They have low I.Q.s fueled with steroids,
crack and malt liquor. They drop out of school at 15, the only educationthey receive is from “Grand Theft Auto” and Maxim. (Picture Mike fromMarketing with a Glock instead of an MBA.)
These fuckers will rape your women for a laugh and slit your throat for
a cigarette on Saturday night, and be absolved by a kiddie-touchingpriest on Sunday morning.
Defend yourself. Don’t spend your next paycheck on bling. Don’t spend
it on the latest fashion. Don’t spend it on spinners. Go to WalMart, buya shotgun, and buy a ton (literally) of ammo, now, while you still can.
My friend Skip Lunch in China says:
…Yeah, but over one-fifth of the world is in China, and there’snot too many Roman Catholics in China (*:
I replied: “Yeah, but at least China makes an effort at controlling
population. The Catholics are encouraging population growth.”
Don’t get me started on Christians. I have friend of a friend whose par-
ents did not allow her to seek medical treatment for her epilepsybecause they felt it was demonic possession and dealt with it only withprayer. I know adults who are ashamed of sex because their Bible-thumper parents spanked them for touching their genitals while peeing.
So basically, yeah. I have some Christian guilt poured into my head at
an age when I was too young to defend myself. My dad was a Sundayschool teacher, and I spent four years going to church four times aweek at an all-boys Episcopalian boarding school. (I got kicked out as asenior for calling the headmaster a “fat, bald, overtly Christian oldfart.) But my religious guilt is almost gone, because I love science. Iunderstand the workings of the world, understand it is too complicatedto have been created spontaneously in six days, and know it to be wellover five-thousand years old. And I know that the earth is not flat. I’ma modern man with modern ideas and a love of learning. I believethere is a creating force that set everything in motion, but I do notbelieve that it lives on a cloud stroking its long gray beard and sittingin judgment of all I do. I do pray, but prayers of thanks. I do notbelieve I can petition the creator with a wish list, like it’s Santa Claus.And I’m absolutely sure it does not care what I do in my bedroom withconsenting adults. And every time I lick a woman (or two) in the pussyand butthole, every time I pump a beautiful, resplendent bitch full ofmy sterile baby juice, my prayer is furthered and the tiny guilt is madeeven smaller.
Religious people who make it their mission to squelch sex out of mar-ThornDaddy
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riage are, in my opinion, nothing but a buncha pussies who can’t fuck.
Like this Christian anti-porn site. http://www.xxxchurch.com/ (These
guys have “re-education ministries” that specialize in training people tobe “not addicted” to porn, like Christians who “teach” gays not to begay. I say fuck it. Train yourself to love porn more. And do it because
you know that God put sex here for your spiritual bliss. Sexual bliss isyour divine birthright.)
Christians who make it their life’s work to tell people why they should-
n’t look at porn remind me of a musician I knew who “found Jesus” anddecided that rock music was evil. He quit his band and traveled thecountry to warn people about “the evils of rock.” His band wasn’t popu-lar or good. If it had been, he wouldn’t have given it up to get moreattention (and probably more pussy) preaching his misinterpretation ofGod’s word.
Muslims do one thing that I dig: they allow for multiple wives. But their
law (which is based on their religion) also MAKES their wives obey,which is not the same as a woman beautifully deciding to GIVE hermaster her subservience, like my wife does. And if a man can haveseveral wives, it’s only fair that a woman should be able to have sever-al husbands. No religion that I know of allows for that. I’m not anti-Muslim or anti-Arab, we just have different ideas on a lot of things, so Itend to stay out of their way. I feel the same way about mostChristians. “I don’t hate ‘em, but I feel better when they’re notaround.”
Here’s the truth, delivered directly from God’s mouth to my pen:
God wants you sexy. Sex was created to spread love, and onceyou’ve spread love like I spread love, you’ll never go back.
If everyone fucked as much as I do and smelled as much as I do, there
would be no war. There would also be no work getting done, becausepeople would stay home and fuck. Society would crumble.Infrastructure would dissolve. No one would collect the trash.
So if 1/3 of the world follows the directions in this book, it will all be
good.
People who can fuck really well should get paid for it, just to do it, by
the government.
By the way, the only thing nearly as ethnocentric and blind as
believing that the predominant religion in your country is theOne True Religion because you were told that as a child, is beingwilling to fight someone over your “loyalty” to the local sportsHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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team.
I’m all for physical activity, but pro sports teams are corpora-
tions created by the CON to pick your pockets by remote con-trol. Out-of-shape guys on the couch drinking beer and eatingchips and rooting for “our” team make me laugh. Those fanswould die of a heart attack in five minutes of that kind of sportsactivity (or five minutes of the kind of sex that I have). Theguys on the team these fans call “our team” couldn’t care lessabout the individual fans. The board members who own the cor-poration that owns the franchise could care even less about thefans, except for the money they spend.
Mike from Marketing is extremely into sports, and adamantly
believes that “his” team is the best.
GUILT –SOCIETAL
There is a belief in modern society (that harkens back to ancient socie-ty) that women should not have sex for fun, men should not either, andthat you’re WRONG WRONG WRONG if you do love sex and have it foranything other than procreation.
One reason women were controlled against their will throughout the
ages is this: If you keep the woman under your thumb and don’t lether “stray”, any kids she has are most likely yours. This was importantwhen people willed vast tracts of land to their firstborn son. But whoneeds kids? You shouldn’t probably have kids. I’ve already given myreasons.
This is a belief made up by men. Men who were frightened by not being
able to “live on through their seed.” Anyone can have a kid, not anyonecan write a great book or paint a great painting. Less brilliant men justspit out kids to live forever.
And as I’ve said, many men are terrified of the immense power of their
mate’s climax. While she shudders involuntarily, arcs her back and digsher nails into the bed board, his little spurt is more of a simple tensionrelease along the lines of a good fart…and about as interesting. Thisfills the man with such an impotent, silent fury that he feels he has tosubdue her in other ways.
As soon as women realize that this is what’s going on, they can quit
being treated like third-class chattel.
This lie has been propagated for thousands of years, and it’s time to
BREAK THE CYCLE. If someone tells you that sex is bad, calmly tellThornDaddy
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How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
167
them why it’s not. If you can see there’s no convincing them, do not
argue. You might as well argue with a tree. Simply walk away, gosomewhere else, and fuck the shit out of some willing woman. She’llthank you for it, and you’ll be doing God’s true will.
Politicians are really big on sex morality issues. It garnishs votes in the
heartland of America. Sure, I agree that people who fuck kids shouldbe shot. So should people who photograph kids naked.
But there is nothing two consenting adults can do in a bedroom that is
anyone’s business outside their bedroom. And there is nothing immoralabout selling photos or videos to adults of those consenting adultsdoing the most filthy things you can possibly imagine.
In some states, it’s still illegal for two adult men to have sex in their
home. That’s insane. It’s illegal in Texas for an adult to sell a dildoshaped like a penis to an adult. And the US Department of Justice iscurrently trying to send “Buttman” (a very creative and artistic directorand producer of fine adult anal sex movies) to jail for a LONG time for“moral turpitude” or some shit. Shame on the Department of Justice.Get a fucking life. Or better yet, get laid, really really well, and you’llhave better things to do with your life.
As we see more and more lawmakers who try to outlaw gay sex getting
busted for having gay sex, the truth will come out. As we see more and
more “happily married” politicians and televangelists giving stirringspeeches and sermons against moral turpitude, and later getting bust-ed with hookers, the truth will come out. The truth is this: the peoplewho bark the most about morals often have the most to hide.
One of my big problems with politicians is this: I can’t vote for any of
‘em. I’m actually fairly conservative when it comes to fiscal policies. Ilike the economic policies of most Republicans better than those ofmost Democrats. But most Republican politicians are also very reli-giously Christian, and don’t just wanna balance the budget, they wannakeep me from doing what I like to do in the bedroom. (The lastRepublican I know of who didn’t vilify sex, other than vanilla marriedsex for procreation, was Barry Goldwater. And I was too young to vote- I was five months old when he ran for president.)
Show me a guy who wants to balance the budget, AND will let me say
“fuck” on the Internet (and let me FUCK on the Internet), doesn’t carewhat I do in the bedroom, is pro-choice, and I’ll vote for him (or her).
Fuck ‘em. I’m gonna throw away my vote and vote for Ralph Nader.
Even though he won’t balance the budget, probably quite the opposite.

And he’d probably enact MORE laws, not LESS laws, which is NOT
something I’d tend to support. But at least a lot of those laws will pun-ish and control the piggy multinationals who dump battery acid into ourrivers and air. Which may make the livable world end less quickly,which means I’ll be around a few more years for fine fucking of theplump buffet of wonderful bitches on this earth, some of whom haven’teven been born yet. (Unless I’m killed by a religious nut or a feminist,I’m going to die in bed at age 98 of a heart attack having sex with mywife, the pet, and two 30-year-old plump cuties who haven’t even beenborn yet as I sit and type this. Their parents are probably alive, but areprobably only about ten years old right now.)
And by the way, not a lot of people know this, but Ralph Nader is Arab.
See? Told you I don’t discriminate.
Anyway, sexual guilt is a lie. Have a conscience, be a good man, treat
women well, but don’t believe what you were told about sex beingwrong. Because everything about that statement is all wrong.
GUILT – FEMINISTS
Some women think that BDSM is wrong. That it’s anti-woman. That it’san example of the patriarchal society, of men’s need to crush anythingfemale.
It’s not. And those women are wrong. Any woman has the right to
choose to give away her control to someone she loves, and there’snothing wrong with that, in my book, (and in Dollie’s book, and thereare a lot of women who agree with her):
http://www.askdollie.com/Testi-MOAN-ials.htm
Also, BDSM includes women who dominant willingly submissive men,and there’s a lotof both out there:
http://tinyurl.com/3s6smp
There also women who love to dominate women, and the women who
love them:
http://www.chantasbitches.com/
I think that any woman who looks in from the outside at BDSM andjudges it harshly is just responding to issues of her own, withoutunderstanding what she’s looking at. (And don’t get me started on menwho agree with these women. Remember, any man who claims to be afeminist is just trying to get laid.)
“And that’s all I have to say about that.” ThornDaddy
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Which leads us to our closing arguments, eager male.——>>>
CHAPTER 13
Closing Arguments
WHY I’M THE WAY I AM
I believe that everyone’s personality is determined by their own actionsmore than circumstance. Or at least that people are not forced to bestuck in a rut their whole lives. I believe that everyone can rise aboveanything, and I have little patience for people who blame others forhaving a poor station in life.
That said, I love my life. I’ve had some heavy tribulations, but I’ve
made a great big vat of yummy lemonade from it all. A lot of the worstthings that have happened to me have directly or indirectly synthesizedin me some of the traits that I love the most.
My childhood was not always great, but it made me wiser, it made me
more creative, and it lead to me being a happy adult, a good husbandand a dominant male. And reflecting on my story, I think there’s noway I could have become anything buta dominant male.
My life (short version): I was born in 1964 in a small East Coast town
to loving, conservative, religious, parents. I have two sisters and abrother. The whole family went to church every week.
My sisters were in high school and my brother was in college when I
was born. I was an accident, but loved. (I remember asking my motheronce, when I was 15, “Was I an accident?” She smiled, looked thought-ful and replied, “You were conceived and raised in love.” I thought thatall things considered, that was a great, and honest, answer.)
My sisters were foxy and showered me with attention. They totally
doted over and adored me. (I’ve since then never felt as happy as I dowhenever two foxy women are adoring me.) I was spoiled, my sisterslet me get my way with everything.
I was very smart, and had a lot of teenage friends when I was in
kindergarten. I could read well by age five, and was outspoken inschool, at home, and everywhere. I was the little golden-haired whizkid who could precociously rattle off facts about physics, chemistry,How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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astronomy, history and music and at a very tender age.
My father and mother were decent parents, never abused me, weren’t
drunks, worked hard, provided for me, were very loving when theywere home, but were both so busy working that I was alone a lot,especially after my sisters went off to college. I became a latchkey kid.
I loved books and went deep inside a quest for knowledge that contin-
ues to this day. In middle school, I’d cut class and go to the locallibrary, so I could actually learn something. I consumed books, and
even fetishized them. I liked to pet them and slept cuddling them. Idreamt of being a writer, and worked hard on it every day from aboutage ten. My teachers said, “You’re a really good writer, but you’ll neverbe a professional, because you can’t spell.” This was, of course, beforecomputers and spell check came along and saved me.
I was smarter than all my classmates and smarter than some of my
teachers. This frustrated me at school. Teachers would sometimes cor-rect me when I was right – because I knew a word or understood aconcept they did not comprehend.
As a kid, my family called me “Master Michael”, like an English butler
addressing a young heir. It helped convince me that I was more specialthan everyone else, and I still sort of feel that way. And how can younotgrow up to be a dom when you’re called “master” from age six
on???
I have always been short (I’m 5’ 5” now, tallest I’ve ever been), and
was picked on by bullies in grade school and high school. One of mygreat pleasures in life is keeping track through old friends of how thosebullies are doing. Most of them are miserable, alcoholic, saddled withungrateful adult kids and bitch wives, and have crappy manual laborjobs. I make art, get paid, work at home, and have the coolest, sexiestwife in the world.
My dad was rather submissive to my mother. She wasn’t mean to him,
but she made a lot of the decisions, despite being a classic 40s-50slady, even into the 70s. My mother kept him under her thumb. I didn’tlike that, though I did like her. I fought with my mother a lot, we bothhad strong wills, but I felt a lot closer to her than I did to my father.
When I eight, I was molested by a teenage boy. We had oral sex with
each other. He didn’t force me, I did it willingly when he asked. I knownow that an eight-year-old kid doesn’t have the life experience to actu-ally “consent”, but I want to make it clear I was not forced.
Having sex with him made me hypersexual at a young age. ThornDaddy
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I also, a few weeks later, got felt up by a female teenage baby sitter,
while she had a pot party with her friends in my parent’s house. SheFrench kissed me, stroked my hair, and touched me all over my chestand kissed my neck in a romantic fashion. While her friends, two cou-ples, watched, laughed, smoked pot, and made out with each other.
Around that same time, my parents got divorced. They’d been happily
married for 37 years, then my father started cheating on my mother.This (and the divorces my three siblings all had later) soured me onmarriage. I swore I would never marry.
I felt guilty because of my parent’s divorce, felt it was my fault, maybe
somehow because I had sex with that boy and made out with that girl.I had a lot of religious guilt about it. Like I’d made God angry with theoriginal sin of being born. Like that’s why my parents got divorced. Ialso thought I was in love with that girl who made out with me, andcalled her on the phone to ask her for a “date.” She laughed at me andhung up.
I became very sad and fucked up, but still kept learning and kept lov-
ing to consume facts and knowledge at the library.
When I was nine, I found some Playboy magazines my brother had
stored in the attic. When I was ten, I found some hardcore porn mydad had stashed. I loved it, and would often sneak peaks while he wasout working. Then later, I heard my dad complaining about the “moralturpitude of television.” I mentioned his porn stash. He was deeplyshamed. And I got to keep watching TV. I was pushing an adult intodoing my bidding, and loved it. I felt powerful.
My dad married the woman he was cheating with, a hypocritical harpy
(“winged death spirit”) who is an avid church attendee, but is reallyhorrid to my father. She emotionally abuses him daily and sometimesabuses him physically. He just takes it. I was, and am, disgusted withthis. I vowed never to let a woman push me around.
My step-monster (I refuse to refer to that witch as “step-mother”) kept
him from seeing me, and treated me like shit. My dad deferred to her,and he quit being a good father. Sure, he still paid support, and sawme on weekends, but it was never quite the same.
That witch finally grew tired of squeezing him dry, financially, emotion-
ally and spiritually, and filed for divorce this year. Poor guy is 87 andhaving to go through that. Yet he’s still trying to patch it up, get herback, even after she gave him a heart attack while keeping him fromHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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attending my daughter’s funeral, then went into the ICU and threw
things at him while he was in the hospital bed recovering from his heartsurgery. She’s 89, and in worse health than him, but will probably out-live him, just to have more time on earth to make people feel bad. Ifthere’s a hell, there’s a special room reserved for her.
Age 11-30 is a blur of drugs and alcohol and cheap sex. I was not terri-
bly happy, for many reasons, during that time. I smoked pot at 11, hadsex and took LSD at 15, had great (vanilla) sex at 17, went to college,flunked out, moved to DC, then to San Francisco, started a hot rockband, got signed to Warner Brothers, toured the US and Europe, gotinto heroin, hit bottom, the band broke up. And somewhere in there, Istarted having kinky sex, but never really knew that there were womenwho wanted to be slaves until I met Dollie, at age 41. She taught mehow to truly love a woman, and also taught me much of what I knowabout the practice of BDSM.
Age 30-now was sweeter than age 11-30, partially because I’ve been
sober. I had a lot of good times, made a lot of friends and learned a lotof skills – computers, filmmaking, and became a professional author.And I finally came to peace with the world enough to share it withanother person. I met Dollie and fell in love. Her love even made methrow away all my preconceptions about marriage. One day I said,“We’re getting married, woman.” She cried tears of joy, knelt, and twoweeks later, we were at the courthouse exchanging vows.
Much of my journey, at least the sexual and dominant part, is explained
in Dollie’s book, Diary of an S&M Romance .
But I’ve still had some rough times since getting sober, including the
death of my daughter, but that’s probably another book. Suffice to say,there’s reasons I’m the way I am, I couldn’t have turned out any otherway, and if I had it to do over, I wouldn’t change a thing.
DON’T “OUT” ME
“ThornDaddy” is, obviously, not my real name. My parents didn’t callme “little Thorny” as a child, and my wife calls me “Daddy”, not“ThornDaddy.”
I use the name “ThornDaddy” because I like to keep my public sex
media life separate from my “normal” life. I make a living writing“straight”, “normal” tech and media how-to books for major educationalpublishers. They know what I do on the side, but turn the other way. Ifit became vastly public that ThornDaddy is the guy who writes thosebooks, they wouldn’t hire me much any more. ThornDaddy
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That wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’ve been looking to move into
new careers for some time. But it’s still working for the moment.
My wife is inextricably linked to me in all I do. I don’t want her outted
either. Nothing horrible would come of it, but I don’t want the squaresin the cubicle farm where she works to think of her as “that kinky lady.”
I’m blackmail proof. The only sex I engage with outside my very happy
marriage involves my wife and another woman.
Now that my daughter’s dead (from leukemia), there really aren’t many
people in the world I’m afraid of upsetting with my little “hobby.” I usemy “kink” name, not my real name, online, only because it simplifiesthings in my mind. Dollie says she would have no qualms about it if Idecided we should use our real names for this stuff. But I’m erring onthe side of simplicity, simply because most of the world equates BDSMwith serial killers, and I’m tired of explaining to individual blank foodtubes that make up 90% of this big blue ball that it’s not. I’d ratherspend my time doing things like writing this book and doing our pod-cast, things that can help change stereotypes on a large global scale,without me having to talk to drones with half my I.Q. and twice myego.
I have been “outted” a few times before, and it was fucked up of the
person to do, but it didn’t damage anything. And the only person in theworld who would be hurt to know what I do is my 87-year-oldRepublican Baptist father, who has a heart condition. If someone want-ed to spring my hobbies on him, the karma would be on them, not onme. And I still don’t think he’d be terribly shocked, because he’s readliterature I’ve written in the past that was about sex and drugs, and hecould see that it was loosely based on my life, and not entirely “fiction.”He called it “bone jarring”, but didn’t rip his shirt and turn his back.
But yeah, don’t “out” me if you figure out who I am. If you do, it won’t
ruin anything for me, but you will be no friend of mine. And after allI’ve given you in this book, you should treat me as your friend, even ifwe never meet. (And we probably won’t. I don’t leave the house much.I stay home and have as much sex as humanly possible with two hotchicks. Why would I wanna leave that to go hang out with dudes? Evenreally cool dudes?)
I’M IMPOSSIBLE TO KILL
There are people who would want to harm me. I’ve already encoun-tered people who’ve tried to harm me financially, or tried to terrorizeHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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me and steal my serenity with threats. Can’t be done. There may be
people who will go beyond threats, and people that driven can hire pri-vate detectives to find me. Some fanatics may want to actually physi-cally harm me, or even kill me: sex-negative feminists and radical reli-gious types come to mind. (I didn’t say very nice things about the laterin this book, particularly about Catholics.) But hey…if they harmed me,I’d write another ten books about it, and get fucking rich. And use that
money to further spread the message of love I’m already spreadinghere.
And as long as I’m sucking air (and for a long time after, through my
secret foundation), I will continue to exercise all my constitutionalrights. Especially my first- and second- and fourth-amendment rights,which each get many hours of exercise a day. They’re quite healthy andstrong.
As for killing me. Hell, that can’t really be done. First of all, if you harm
me, you’d martyr me. My wife, the pet, a few close friends, and manyof my podcast fan minions around the globe have instructions to carryout the ThornDaddy Foundation’s wishes and vigorously propagate myexisting media (all my books, under both names, as well as the pod-casts, movies, and all other media I bleed on a daily basis).
My wife and I have large life insurance policies, made first to each
other, and in the event of both our deaths, to several trusted servantswith the capability of carrying out my wishes on a much grander scale,and using that money as a mighty mustard seed to flood the world withmy Word.
Most of my media is already up on BitTorrent, seeded by dozens
of my untraceable followers around the world. If you kill me orharm me, it will be written up in the media, and send manypeople who’ve never heard of me looking to check out my stuff.
The downloads are unstoppable. Like Joe said on “News Radio”,
“Trying to take something off the Internet is like trying to takepee out of a pool with a spoon.”
You can kill me, but you cannot kill the love and message I’m spread-
ing. In fact, if you do kill me, you’ll be killing a Lernaean Hydra. Cuttingoff my head will grow many more just like me, ready to carry out mywishes.
Mark my words. If I’m ever found dead of a drug overdose or a
car crash, it was murder.
And anyway, at 44 years of age (a little past the halfway point in theThornDaddy
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average male lifespan), I’ve already lived ten times as much as most
men, so I’m pretty much ready when it comes. I had more great sexby the time I was 25 then most men have in a lifetime. I’ve publishedmany books, made films, traveled the world, and have large worldwideaudiences, both under my kink name and my real name. I’ve gone togreater heights (and greater depths – I was a heroin addict for years,and overcame that) than many celebrated poets, rock stars, philoso-phers, kings and holy men.
As a heroin addict, I lived to die. I died slowly, daily, for years. I over-
dosed and diedthree times, was revived by medics and roommates,
and should be dead. I got sober at age 30, I really should have diedbefore that. So every breath I take from age 30 on, is gravy – a fuckingunexpected gift from the Universe.
Then my daughter died at age 22, two years ago. She was a great per-
son. When she died, I plunged into the worst depression imaginable.Couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t think, about anything, except thedarkness.
I still think of her every day, a lot. But I have transcended my dark-
ness, and am able to function again.
If I can survive that, I can survive anything, even mutilation or death.
LEAVE ME ALONE
Most humans should be ground into cat food. At least 90 % of allhumans are, in the words of the Book of the Subgenius, “Blank FoodTubes.”
I previously mentioned The Golden Floppy Disc of Redemption . People
on this list have helped me, and will be spared when I run the worldand am having my soldiers grind most people into food for my manycats. It’s here if you want to look at it:
www.askdollie.com/goldenDisc.htm
It takes a lot to be on this list. And I have a different list, that is notpublic, of the people who will be the first ones ground up for my kitties.Don’t bug me and you won’t get on that list.
Don’t write me. Instead, please post on the blog, ThornDaddy.com. If
you’re a prick in my world, even my Web world, you’ll be ground intocat food. I especially do not spar with males, I avoid them, and ifthey’re a bother, turn it over to the police. Same with women. I’vedone this. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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If you’re just a fan, and not a stalker, you may send a short e-mail
telling me how I’ve changed your life for the better, but please under-stand that I’m a busy guy. I may not write back, and if I do, it’s goingto be short, and not ongoing. I’m a little more lenient with females,especially subs, because I love females. But even that isn’t going to goon and on and on. You can write us through ThornDaddy.com.
Keep in mind, if you ask questions, we may just answer them on the
blog, and may use the questions, and our answer, in a future book. Andby sending us questions, you agree to this, without any compensation.We’re all about the media, want to spread love, and don’t want any-one’s desires to get in our way. If you come into ourhouse, you play by
ourrules.
WOMEN ROCK
When I was 15, I had a vision that I signed my soul to the devil. I did-n’t sign the standard “rich and famous” contract. I just said “I want totravel the world, make great art, and be able to fuck any woman I canmake laugh.” I signed the contract in my own blood. The agreementwith my imaginary devil was that I would be able to do all that, andbefore I turned 44, I would die and the devil would get my soul.
I later freaked out about it, and took the contract to a Catholic priest.
He read it and told me that if I read the Bible and believed in JesusChrist, the contract would be annulled.
I became devout for several years. But I eventually stopped believing
in The Word, and formed a cosmology of my own creation, and thatcosmology didn’t have much room for The Church.
In the back of my mind, I’ve always held a tiny worry that maybe the
contract was real, and maybe the devil was going to kill me and takeme.
This book was finished right before my 44th birthday. If you tune in to our podcast at
www.AskDollie.com
after May 29, 2008, and I’m still alive, well, fucking and podcasting,
then I’ve beat the devil. (I guess then I can say that I merely pawnedmy soul, rather than selling it.)
But I’ve traveled the world, and I can still fuck any woman I can make
laugh. And I still make great art.
Writing this book was extremely personal, it almost felt like an invasion
of my privacy, of my soul, to share so much with so many strangers.But it had to be done.ThornDaddy
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And I entered an almost trance-like state to write it. I didn’t leave the
house, barely slept, went in and out of short cat naps after long boutsof working. Sleep melded into waking, the separations became blurred.It was a drug-like state without drugs (except way too much caffeineand nicotine, and my body’s own sex endorphins). The last coupleweeks, I was wearing a slip, pantyhose and pumps while writing, tohelp understand the inside of the mind of living like that for a man. Icuffed my leg to the toilet bar on the wall while the wife was at work,and Flex-O-Pleased my butthole. I beat off up to 20 times a day. And atmoments, in my mind, in my soul, I became a woman. A submissive
woman, submitting to ThornDaddy.
This manuscript felt like it was written through me. It only took me five
weeks to write, proof and publish. (This couldn’t have been done with-out Dollie’s proofreading, editing and love. Our nest is a self-containedworldwide art factory. This book is but one of many projects we’ve donetogether, and we plan to do many more.) I’ve never written a book thisgood, or even anybook, so quickly. I felt like I was channeling it from
the gods. (Or perhaps the goddesses. Or more likely, both. My theologypictures god as “parents” more than just “father” or “mother”).
I stayed locked in The Internest, slept three or four hours a night, and
let the words flow, stopping only to fuck my wife and change my
clothes (I was working at such a fevered pace that I was actuallysweating from writing). I was a conduit for these words, not the author.
They appeared to have been channeled from somewhere higher. I’m ona mission from Pod, and this is my New Nestament .
I liked finishing days before my 44thbirthday. It gave me a chance to
reflect. I’ve lived quite a life.
This book is great and I have an excellent literary agent. We
could have easily gotten it put out by a major publisher. But thattakes too long, and the messages in this book are too impor-tant, too relevant, to wait. Also, a publisher, in my experience,would have monkeyed with it, cut some parts that were mostimportant to me (like this chapter, most likely). So we self-pub-lished, using money from George W. Bush’s “economic stimulusincentive”, ($1,200 to couples making less than $150,000.) That$1,200 bucks just about covered the set up and first small printrun. Thank you George Dubya, for financing our fuck book.Thank you sir, indeed.
I go to sleep quickly each night, and sleep soundly and contented. But
I jump out of bed every morning, often before I’ve even slept a fullHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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eight hours. I call it “reverse insomnia”, but it’s not a bad thing. I jump
out of bed because each day is full of so many fun challenges, so manychances to use the skills I’ve been given, and the things I’ve learned.I’m as happy writing a great book as I am making sweet love to mywife and the pet. And we all love petting the three kitty cats who runaround this home.
I love my life.
And I love my wife.
I love each new day, mainly because of the wonders of women, the
beauty of sex, and how my amazing slave Dollie brightens my everymoment.
This book is my birthday present to myself and to my wife. But in a
larger sense, it’s my love song, and my gift, to every woman in theworld who wants it.
This book is written to be read by men, and I hope some men have
found something useful in it. But I really wrote the book for women ,
because women are so breathtakingly astonishingly perfect. I wrote thisbook for men to help the women of the world, to give more men moretools to take better care of their women.
I’ll close this book the same way I opened it, by telling you this:
women are too amazing to be anything butproof that there is a god.
ThornDaddy
Summer 2008Los AngelesThornDaddy
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APPENDIX 1
Interviews With Seven Kinky Women About
What They Want and Need
Compiled and edited by ThornDaddy
SO…If you really want to know “what women want”, from women , not
just from a majestic fucker of women like me, you need to askwomen.
So Dollie and I wrote up some good questions and sent out informationpackets to my global empire of fans, friends and groupies, and gotthese illuminating results to my armchair Kinsey report.
INTERVIEWS WITH:
Dollie Llamathe pet Sienna SKittyJennifer NekoAmy-RoseMistress Velvet
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 1:
Name: Dollie Llama,
a.k.a. Mrs. ThornDaddy, a.k.a. the wife, a.k.a. the slave, a.k.a.Daddy’s little cum toilet, a.k.a. Daddy’s little slime tube.
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please…age/hobbies, schooling,
married/divorced/in long term relationship or not, seeing anyone now,what is your current relationship like?
I’m 49, a paralegal by profession and a domestic and sex slave by incli-
nation. My main hobby, although it’s much much more than simply ahobby, is podcasting with my majestic husband and Master,ThornDaddy. Our podcast is “Submission and Coffee” and it’s availableHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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on iTunes or at AskDollie.com. I also enjoy reading, writing, and caring
for Daddy (my special and exclusive name for ThornDaddy) and ourthree cats.
As for relationships, I’m relatively newly married (just about two years)
and loving it, but gleefully share Daddy with our girlfriend “the pet.” Mymarriage is based upon a strong BDSM Master/slave dynamic, and ourgirlfriend is also submissive to Daddy. Daddy and I characterize ourrelationship as “a nation of two”, meaning we are complete in our-selves, but do enjoy the spice and fun that being sexual with selectother females brings to our life.
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
I cannot recall a time when I was not aware of sexual feelings. I may
not have been able to recognize the feelings as sexual at the time, butin retrospect, they clearly were. For example, when I was about 3 or 4,our house had a large picture window in the living room that faced thestreet. The window sill was about 6 inches above the floor. I had anoverwhelming urge to strip naked, and display myself in that window.After contemplating this for a while, I did exactly that: stripped,climbed onto the window sill, and stood there, facing the street, withmy arms spread wide and a smile plastered on my face. I felt gloriouslyexposed. The thrill was definitely sexual; I am an unabashed exhibi-tionist to this day.
My maiden great aunt, who lived with us, found me there and was hor-
rified. I can still remember how she sputtered and shuttled me awayand back into clothing. When my parents came home, she was red inthe face while explaining what I had done. My parents weren’t pleased,but I do not remember what, if anything, they did to punish or teachme.
>>When did you first masturbate? At about age 6, I discovered the joy of lying in the bathtub with the
water on full blast, pounding down on my genitals. I also found I coulduse my pelvic muscles to draw water from the bath into my vagina, andthen expel it with some force, with which I amused myself by feelingthe water rush by my fingers, lingering just at the entrance to mypussy. I know I also rubbed my genitals, enjoying the sensations, but Idon’t believe I had an actual orgasm from any play until I was 8 or 9.
Once I could climax, I masturbated any time I could be alone, definitely
every night before sleep. I stole into my parents’ room at about ageeleven, where I found an old-style vibrator which fitted over the hand,ThornDaddy
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and used it with great pleasure.
>>When did you first have intercourse? I lost my virginity about three months after having started high school,
in ninth grade. He was two years older, but also a virgin. He arguedwith me, after the fact, accusing me of not being virgin as I didn’tbleed or cry. He didn’t like my explanation that some women do nothave pain or bleeding, and also, that I had probably technically deflow-ered myself with household objects I used to masturbate. He alsoseemed intimidated by a girl that seemed so clearly at ease with hersexuality, and knew how to assist in reaching her own climax, which Idid, more than once, while we screwed.
>>Are you bisexual?Yes. Although I do have a strong preference for men, and could live
happily without a female sex partner. However, I have always had anattraction to women, and freely and without guilt, played sex gameswith willing girlfriends at a comparatively young age, up to and includ-ing rubbing our groins together until I climaxed.
Puberty and post-adolescence were primarily devoted to boys, and I
continued in that vein, with a few choice exceptions, until about 8 yearsago. Before I met Daddy, I resumed my occasional fling with women,and now, with our girlfriend, the pet, I am able to indulge regularly.
>>How orgasmic are you? Absurdly so, sometimes tooorgasmic. At times, I cum so much while
Daddy’s fucking me I become overwhelmed, and pass out. It’s fun. ButI also can climax from simply rubbing Daddy’s back and listening tohim groan with pleasure, after we have sex and I’m still “primed.” Ialso generally cum at least once every time I blow him. In neither ofthese cases is it necessary for me to have direct genital stimulation tobring on the orgasm. If he wants, Daddy can make me cum just fromtalking to me, particularly by calling me “good girl” and telling me to“cum for Daddy” over and over.
>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse? With me, it’s probably more accurate to ask me how many times a day
I’d like to have intercourse. The answer is, as often as I, and Daddy,can, which can be ten times or more if we’re feeling particularlyfevered. Practically, I have intercourse as often as Daddy wishes, usual-ly more than once per day. Usually many more times than once (Yay!)How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>How many times a week do you masturbate?
Between 7 and 30. Really, it varies tremendously. Some depends upon
what Daddy needs me to be doing at any given time, but also, some-times it just feels a bit lonely, and so I’d rather store up the energy forthe next time Daddy summons me for sex, sex in whatever format hechooses.
>>Are you a squirter? Although there were odd times in the past that it happened, in a small
way, just in the last three months or so have I become a routinesquirter. It seems one day the faucet just got turned on. To someextent, I can now control when it happens, but most of the time I justgo with whatever my body wants to do – why inhibit pleasure?(Although I can really flood while squirting, and it can be kind of a has-sle, wet beds, towels, etc. Yet, we’re learning to accommodate it.)
>>How do you feel about anal sex? Love it. It’s a whole different sensation of being taken, and that’s
always a good thing. I don’t have a lot of the “Ooo, it’s taboo” feelingthat I’ve heard others describe, I just like it ‘cause it feels awesome. Ilike the sense of “fullness”, and triggering of different nerve endings Iget from anal sex.
That said, it has to be clean anal sex. Nice, thorough enema before-
hand, and no messy scat.
>>How do you feel about sex toys? Which ones do you like? Sex toys are great. Good when I’m by myself, even more fun when
someone is using them on me, or I use them on another.
My favorite masturbatory combination is this: Hitachi Magic Wand on
low on my clit, a nice midsize butt plug, and a lovely, very long, but notunnaturally thick, realistically-shaped dildo in my pussy. If I’m reallygoing for it, add some very strong, nasty nipple clamps. Sheer bliss!
I also like my jackrabbit vibrator. It has a little vibrating jackrabbit on
the shaft. It also has a bendable shaft that rotates, very unusual sensa-tion. Got it because the pet had one and it looked so fun!
And, our newest discovery, the Flex-o-Pleaser: a vibrating bullet on a
thin, flexible wand, powered by batteries. The bullet is angled at about30 degrees. Makes a great anal vibe – for me while Daddy fucks me (heThornDaddy
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calls me his vibrating robo-whore), or for him, while I blow him.
Twirling it is mindblowing.
>>Do you use condoms? Not with Daddy, of course. But yes, he uses them with new partners.
We are fluid bonded with the pet, and so don’t use them with her. petis not exclusively sexual with us, so she uses them with anyone otherthan us.
>>Are you kinky? Yes. Very. >> If so, bottom/top sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what?Slave. No question. Although I can, and have, topped others, even
Daddy to some extent, but only when Daddy has specifically told me to
do it, and what to do. That way, I don’t feel like I’m really topping,
which might just feel too weird.
>>What does kink entail for you? To me, the word “kink” feels like a label, especially since what conven-
tional wisdom may call kink can encompass so very many things, andnot all of them compatible. It also carries a stigma of people joined bycommon aberrations. I don’t consider what I do or like to be aberrant.Nothing I do with Daddy, or any other sex partner, is done with theintention of causing long-term harm in any way, emotionally, physically,or socially. It is done with love, respect, caring, passion and lust. Thatit incorporates sensations or practices that may not reflect what themajority does, does not make it worthy of censure or segregation.
Philosophy aside, what I like is to submit, to give over my will to anoth-
er I trust implicitly. I like to feel physically overpowered, overwhelmed.I love pain, when it’s administered by someone who understands thatthe pain amplifies sensation, exhilarates the mind and body, releasesendorphins, and sends me into a different state of consciousness. Paincan come from many methods: caning, flogging, whipping, paddling,heat or cold, pressure (like nipples clamps), abrasion, a slap in the faceor a spank on the ass. It’s all good, and I like it harsh.
I like to be restrained, as it frees my mind when my body is contained.
Restraint comforts me, makes me feel safe, secure, and closely held.
I like to be blindfolded – all my other senses are thrown into overdrive.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I like to be objectified, used by Daddy for sex like a receptacle, as he
says, “his little cum-dumpster.” Or as furniture, like a footstool, or tableto hold his coffee or ashtray.
I enjoy public display, like when Daddy takes me, or me and the pet, to
a dungeon, and whips us, strokes us, shows us off, has us blow him, ormakes us cum, all in front of others.
I like to serve. I get soul-deep satisfaction from doing all I can for
Daddy, whether it’s cooking or cleaning, rubbing his back and feet,fetching anything he needs, or blowing him whenever he chooses.
I have fetishes: semen, lingerie, and high-heeled shoes. While I can
enjoy sex when those items are not present, sex is better when I’mdressed up, and one or more orifices are full of semen.
I love it when Daddy talks dirty to me, calls me names, and tells me
just what he wants, and that what I get is up to him. I love to behumiliated, within certain boundaries, by Daddy: watched while I’m onthe toilet or giving myself an enema (or being given one by Daddy), orpeed on by Daddy when I’m in the shower.
None of these things would be fun, or possible, with someone I didn’t
trust. Some acts would require me to be in love in order to have suffi-cient trust in my partner, such as the more emotional games, but eventhe purely physical acts require trust to enjoy.
>>What’s it take to get into your pants? Intelligence, sex appeal (to me), a sense of humor, an inquisitive mind,
an appreciation for beauty, kinkiness that jives with mine, lack ofentanglements like jealous spouses or lovers, a love of all things feline,a distrust of humans in the generic and authority in the specific, kind-ness, gentleness, goodness and respect behind the dominance.
That’s my short list for someone I’d fuck more than once. Which is, of
course, theoretical, because I fuck no man other than Daddy.
There have been times when all it took was for someone to be avail-
able, capable and appealing. Thank goodness those times are past.
As for women getting into my pants, well, I leave that all up to Daddy
to decide, and only offer input if I think he’s missed something impor-tant. He knows my feelings, and respects them, when they aren’t hor-ridly in conflict with his own. (And in general, I have no conflicts withhis ideas, so it’s all good.)ThornDaddy
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>>What do you like in a sex partner?
I love that Daddy takes care of me. Especially when I was convalescing
from shoulder surgery for a bone spur and torn rotator cuff. In fact, Ihad been experiencing problems with it for ten years, but put off deal-ing with it, and Daddy prodded me into taking care of it. He is my pro-tector and mentor.
He was the sweetest man ever, actually waited on me all the time dur-
ing the recuperation. But he’s always sweet to me, though I do thehousework when I’m not laid up in bed.
Of course, kinkiness, dominance, intelligence, willingness to learn, cre-
ativity, passion, lust, great smell, tasty semen, all come into play.
>>Describe the sexiest person you know. My Daddy.>>What do you dislike in a potential partner? Stupidity. Narrow-mindedness. Lack of manners. Lack of vocabulary,
verbal or experience.
>>What’s a deal killer (i.e. things that would make you NEVER willing
to have sex with someone?)
Dishonesty. Lack of respect, for me or themselves. Horridly diseased or
otherwise unclean. A spouse or partner that is unaware of me, orsomeone like me, in their partner’s life.
>>If you are (or were) single, would you consider having sex with
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama?
Um, I already am. Both of them. God they’re hot.>>How many men have you slept with? No way to know for sure. Last time I had a running total was before I
got married the first time at 21, and it was over 150. Since then, Iguess there may have been as many as 30 or 40. (And I was celibatefor 13 years following the end of my first marriage, only back in thegame for 3 years before I met Daddy, and I’ve slept with no other manexcept Daddy ever since. I have no need or desire to. Although doingthe swing party thing for a couple years before I met him did up theHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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count quite rapidly.)
>>How many women? That’s a really good question, and I could only guess. Maybe 20 or 25?
Could be more. Probably is. I really like bisexual women, but have aoverwhelming preference for men, and don’t really care much for les-bians – they’re too often anti-men.
>>Have you had group sex? Please give details. Lots of times. Too many to describe all of them.Most memorable? The first one. I was seventeen, had just finished high
school. I met two guys that were best friends, college roommates homefor the summer. Both were stunning, one blonde, one dark. We hadsome earthshaking vanilla sex, many different times, over that summer.But the best thing was their comfort with each other, naked andaroused. They didn’t exactly have sex with each other, but they had noqualms about casually brushing against each other. We even managedto have double penetration sex (anal/vaginal) a couple times – beingyoung, flexible and athletic – it was great.
I’ve also had group sex with me as the only woman with seven guys.
Twice I can think of. Once in high school, on a “dare” by my nasty,domineering boyfriend (same guy who took my virginity) – and all hisbuddies. Me and his friends got along just great, much sweating andcumming, but he got intimidated by it all, and ended up in the corner,almost in tears. The second time was while I was swinging. I was “dat-ing” a voyeur, and he set up a scene with me and seven other men,which he directed and watched. Very hot. We drew quite an audience.Loving semen as much as I do, there’s something very special abouthaving more than one guy cum on you while another one is fucking yousilly, and you’re blowing another, and jerking a third…
I’ve done scenes in dungeons with more than one partner. Not always
actual sex, but if you know how those things work, it’s as close as youcan come without actually doing it.
And of course, since I met Daddy, we’ve had many, many interludes
with other women, and now especially with the pet. Of all of the groupsex I’ve had, I like the sex I have with Daddy and the pet the best.
>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? I can’t answer that. So much goes into something being kinky, and
what was incredibly hot one time, might be silly another. Um, such asThornDaddy
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eating yogurt and fruit out of one of my pumps as a humiliation exer-
cise, then wearing them while I masturbated for the top’s amusement –it was hot when it was done to me, but reading about it just soundsreally goofy.
And sex, well, sex to me isn’t kinky, really, no matter what goes on. It
just two or more people doing what feels really good to them at themoment.
>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually. All the “special” times are special in their own ways. So much depends
upon the time and place and who I was at the time. Not sure I couldpick just one.
However, almost every time Daddy fucks me feels like the most amaz-
ing thing I’ve ever experienced. He’s an artist, a god in our bed.
But I am put in mind of one recent episode with Daddy and the
pet…Daddy fucked both of us, but instead of having us side-by-side, hehad one of us lie between the legs of the other with our head restingon the other woman’s pussy as she sat up propped on pillows. ThenDaddy fucked the girl in the middle, while the other one kissed,touched, teased, pinched and rubbed the other, and Daddy too. Weswitched places after a bit. The girl not being fucked also got to use avibrator on herself. I know I came so much, and squirted so much, thatthe pet’s hair and neck were soaked by the time Daddy came in her.the pet told us afterwards that when Daddy was fucking me, my headbumped over and over “just right” against the vibrator and really puther over the top. It was incredible, and was the best three-way sex I’veever had.
>> How important is a man’s scent to you?Do you like men to go without washing for a day, without wearing
deodorant, without wearing cologne? Or do you like men better whenthey’re well-scrubbed, deodorized, and / or wearing cologne?
I would be very turned off by any man that stank because he was
unclean, or was drenched in cologne (even if it was a cologne I liked).
I have always preferred men to smell like men – a bit sweaty, just
alive. It’s sexy. Something about that smell goes straight to my pussy.
>>How are love and sex connected? How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Love makes sex better for me, but I don’t need to love my partner in
order for the sex to be blazing hot.
>>How are sex and commitment related? If you asked me this before HIV/AIDS I would probably have answered
“Not at all.” Now, I think if you’re going to have sex with someone, fluidbonded or not, partners owe it to each other to be honest and upfrontabout their experiences and any issues. To me, honesty is a commit-ment.
No, I don’t believe I have to be bound to someone in order to have sex
with them. Of course, this IS kinda theoretical, as Daddy now decideswho I have sex with other than him.
>>How important is kink to you when choosing a partner? Do you
require kink in a long-term partner?
I am a kinky woman. I know this like I know my name. Yes, I could
have hot sex without kink, but I need kink in my life in order to be ful-filled and happy in the long run. And their kinks have to complementmy own.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
That’s really tough to answer. I frankly can’t imagine myself in a vanilla
relationship. But I guess I’d have to say, if I were committed to some-one not kinky, in order for them to know me well enough to love meand me love them, we would have to have an agreement that wouldallow me to “get my kink fix”, even if the kink were without sex. But itwould have to be with my partner’s knowledge and approval. I cannotlive a lie to my partner.
>>How important are looks? Not as important as the other qualities on my list (see “What’s it take
to get into your pants?”). Sure, I need to find something appealing inthe way a lover looks, but the beauty that matters is really in the mind,not the body.
And no, I don’t say that just because I’m a middle-aged, plump
woman, and the antithesis of most conventional standards of femininebeauty. I’ve always believed this. (Even as a plump teenager, lol.)
>>How important is good kissing?ThornDaddy
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Important, but not ultimately so. If someone can fuck, and is most of
the other things I think are important, then I could partner with some-one I didn’t love to kiss passionately.
>>Describe good kissing? I helped Daddy formulate the “HOW TO KISS “ section in Chapter Six.
Pretty much all I have to say on the subject is there. Except maybe, if Ilove to kiss someone, it’s something I just can’t get enough of.Conversely, much of the time when Daddy fucks me I am not allowedto kiss or touch him, and I love it. I love being controlled by Daddythat way.
>>How important is penis size? Sure I’m glad I’ve had some opportunities to play with very large
penises, but frankly, as a steady diet and given that I love to be fuckedREALLY hard, I prefer a man with a moderate size penis. It reaches allthe right places, feels nice and full, but doesn’t leave me too sore towant more and more and more.
That, and I think normal size penises just look better erect. And I love
the look of an erect cock. Too many of the outsized penises I’ve seendon’t seem to ever get as hard as normal ones. That, and too big ishard to get down your throat when blowing him, and I also love thefeeling of a cock down my throat. Since I met Daddy, I’ve started tocum regularly while blowing him. Just getting him hard and down mythroat makes me cum; no external stimulation needed. It’s like mythroat becomes my pussy. Very cool.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you? Not tremendously. Yes, I like it, and would miss it if it never happened,
but it’s not something I think of first when with a man.
With women it’s a bit different – I love having a girl lick me, or licking
her.
>>Do you go down on guys?Absolutely! I love sucking cock, and do it gleefully whenever Daddy
wants. With my semen fetish, it’s hard to know if I like cum in mymouth or in my pussy better. The mouth might be just a bit ahead,more senses to savor it with. And so very fun to transfer it mouth-to-mouth to someone else – like the pet.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>How important is honesty and respect?
Without these two things, there can be no relationship. Period.>>Are you a feminist? Yes. I believe in social, economic, and political parity for all sexes.I also believe in the right to choose to surrender that parity under con-
ditions I agree to.
Both those facets represent true freedom to me.For a longer answer, I refer you to Diary of an S&M Romance .
>>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist? Yes. I am.>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com
?
What’s not to love? Daddy and I (and the pet) are amusing, intelligent,
entertaining and informative. And dead sexy. I love that Daddy hasbrought me into his world and made me a part of his art. I was so shyat first, but now I’m always ready to podcast, fuck for strangers I’llnever meet, and yack about anything under the sun with my brilliantDaddy. He’s so talented in so many fields. I love his mind, and I lovethat he can figure out how to do anything related to media, computers,
or reaching the world, and usually masters it the first or second day hefinds it.
I never believed I would be someone who would get fan mail, let alone
someone that people would write daily and say things like “You’vechanged my life for the better, and helped me understand myself andmy lover better.” It blows me away. I still get teary eyed, and I’mgrateful to Daddy, and still constantly amazed with each new e-mail. Ilove “changing the world from our bedroom”, as Daddy puts it.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck? Read this book. Twice.
Quit trying too hard, you’ll look desperate.Look for women you like, and who like you , not just ones you find sexy.
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better? ThornDaddy
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Read this book. Twice.
Care about her, and you’ll do the right thing.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women?
Read this book. Twice. Pick the right woman or women.Treat her the way you’d want to be treated – honestly and with respect.With love if it exists, with tenderness if it doesn’t.
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 2:
Name: the pet
(the pet is the wonderful girlfriend that Dollie and I play with
and hang out with about every other weekend. By the way, heranswers are fairly short, because she was typing with herthumbs on her iPhone while flying on a plane to go back east forher birthday. —ThornDaddy)
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please. I’m 38 and a long time video gamer. I’m also heavily into arts and
crafts, drawing, painting, floral design etc. These days now I’m datingThornDaddy and Dollie Llama, the sexiest couple I’ve ever met and I’mecstatic to be involved with them.
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
I honestly can’t remember.>>When did you first masturbate? Can’t remember.>>When did you first have intercourse? When I was 16 my mother asked if I wanted to go on birth control. I
was still a virgin at the time, but would have been too embarrassed toask her after the fact so I went on the pill, then figured what the hell.So a friend of mind and I had a barely memorable time on a couch by aHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
191

fire in the woods.
>>Are you bisexual? I had a bisexual experience with a friend many many moons ago. It
ended up ruining our friendship and until recently the curiosity hasbeen there but I hadn’t acted on these feelings. Before ThornDaddyand Dollie Llama I was involved with another couple but it felt verystrained and I wasn’t comfortable with her. But I did it to make myDom happy, and alleviate some of the curiosity. Now with Dollie, Ienjoy it immensely and it feels completely natural and just right.
>>How orgasmic are you? I’m very orgasmic, I tend to have one right on top of another and have
been known to have rolling orgasms that can last up to 20 minutes. I’malso a squirter but I have to be relaxed enough and be in the rightposition.
>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse? My libido depends on the partner I’m with. If the person I’m with isn’t
very sexually oriented than sex isn’t my top priority. With a person whois very sexual, I’m up for sex as often as we can.
>>How many times a week do you masturbate? Normally once a day in the shower, but since being with the
ThornDaddys I’ve been masturbating at night at least 2-3 times aweek.
>>How do you feel about anal sex? I do enjoy anal, and can squirt from my pussy from it. Unfortunately it
occasionally causes cramping and bowel issues for days afterwards.
>>How do you feel about sex toys? Which ones do you like? LOVE EM LOVE EM LOVE EM. Did I mention that I lovethem? They
could never replace real sex with a person, but they definitely canenhance sex, and give a different kind of orgasm than a penis can. Mypersonal favorite is a jackrabbit vibrator.
>>Do you use condoms? I’m an avid user of condoms. There is nothing that could put an end to
my fun faster than an incurable disease. I am fluid bonded withThornDaddy
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ThornDaddy, but use condoms with anyone else I’m with.
>>Are you kinky? I’m kinkier than some and less kinky than others. If I had to answer
yes or no I’d say “yes”.
>>If so, bottom/tom sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what? I lean toward the submissive side, but only the right type of Dom can
bring that out of me. With other, more “vanilla” relationships, I’m usu-ally the more experienced aggressor, so I suppose in certain circum-stances I’d be considered a top, but I MUCH prefer someone else totake the lead.
>>What’s it take to get into your pants? Plain and simple…you have to get into my head before you get into my
pants. If you’re handsome but stupid? Sorry…move along.
>>What do you like in a sex partner? Imagination, respect and good communication skills >>Describe the sexiest person you know. ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama are the sexiest people I know. Each alone
radiates an aura of sexuality that you can sense just being aroundthem, but together the vibe is so tangible it’s something you can see,smell and taste.
>>What do you dislike in a potential partner? I dislike the same things in a potential partner that I do in a potential
friend. Because if I can’t relate to someone as a friend then it doesn’tmatter how good the sex is. I will be bored VERY quickly.
>>What’s a deal killer (i.e. things that would make you NEVER willing
to have sex with someone?)
Lack of trust or respect would be a deal killer for me. >>If you are (or were) single, would you consider having sex with
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama?
I am single and I AM having sex with ThornDaddy and Dollie!How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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It’s odd to simply say “I am single” because that kinda downplays what
I have with the ThornDaddys. That’s a problem with polyamory, therereally aren’t terms to properly describe it. There’s no greeting card thatsays “Happy anniversary, wonderful married couple I have sex with!”
My relationship with the ThornDaddys is not complicated, but it’s com-
plicated to describe….I’m somewhere between fuck buddy and girl-friend. This is what we’ve all three come to, in order to protect theirrelationship, and also to keep my own heart happy.
We three have spectacular sex, but they also cuddle me, nurture me,
mentor me, watch movies with me, and take me out on dates. I love it.And we’re all friends, and talk and e-mail a lot when I’m not there.
I am free to have sex with others, but have to ask ThornDaddy first.
Fortunately, he’s very giving with that permission, and I appreciatethat.
>>How many men have you slept with? I don’t remember exact numbers, the 80s were sort of a blur. If I had
to guess I’d say somewhere close to 50.
>>How many women? Three, including Dollie >>Have you had group sex? Please give details. Mostly with TD and Dollie, but once or twice with my last Dom and his
alpha.
>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? Listen to the episodes on “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”, all the things
I’ve done on there are the kinkiest things I’ve ever done, including hav-ing it podcasted all over the world to strangers. But I suppose theunrecorded night when the ThornDaddys took me to the dungeonwould have to be the moment that comes to mind. I NEVER would havethought that shy little me would be able to have sex in a room filledwith people watching, some of them masturbating hungrily as theywatched.
>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually. Again, listen to SAC episodes because each time I visit theThornDaddy
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ThornDaddys, it gets better and better. So by the time this book is
released in a few weeks, my answer wouldn’t apply anymore. There willbe something else to top everything.
>>How are love and sex connected? You can have sex with people you don’t love, and love someone you
don’t have sex with, but it’s when the two merge that you get some-thing that transcends both.
>>How important is kink to you when choosing a partner? Do you
require kink in a long-term partner?
It’s not the most important factor, and until recently it wasn’t even a
consideration in choosing a partner. Now that I’ve let myself open up abit more sexually it’s moved up a bit further on the list.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
I’m a very honest person and would talk with my partner(s) about
looking elsewhere to satisfy those needs – but I would never go behindtheir back. I can honestly say, other than kissing, I’ve never cheated onanyone and am not about to start now.
>>How important are looks? Looks are a plus, but are definitely not the most important aspect.>>How important is good kissing? Kissing is definitely important to me. It can raise or lower the intensity
level of the whole experience.
>>Describe good kissing.Good kissing happens when you can tell that your partner is conscious-
ly aware of what they’re doing with their tongue, not sloppy, but ratherteasing, tasting, torturing you into wanting more.
>>How important is penis size? I think men put too much emphasis on penis size. There is no too small
or too large. It’s all a matter of finding the pussy that’s a perfect fit.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you? How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Receiving oral is a treat. It’s a feeling that can’t be recreated while
masturbating. So it’s wonderful to find someone who enjoys giving, butit’s not deal breaker if the person has talents in other areas.
>>Do you go down on guys? I do, I love cock and can lose myself licking, sucking, kissing and tast-
ing. I love taking my time, enjoying the texture, feeling it harden in myhand and mouth. OK damnit, I’m stuck on an airplane and needing tomasturbate now. Occupied?!?!?!? Fucking humans! As ThornDaddysays, “Grind them into cat food!” Finish up in there! I’m having an cli-toral emergency!!………………
>>How important is honesty and respect?…………OK…now that I’ve rubbed one out in the airplane bathroom, I can
get my mind back on the questions. Honesty and respect are the mostimportant things in ANY relationship.
>>Are you a feminist?No, I wouldn’t consider myself to be.>>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist?I don’t see why not.>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”, BDSM podcast
from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com ?
I lovethe podcast! I’m still squeamish ‘bout being on it though, and
have a hard time listening to the episodes I’m on.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck?
Be honest, have a sense of humor, and don’t play games.
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better?Pay attention to your lover, learn to read her body signs, try new
things, don’t be boring or selfish, even with a woman who is existing toserve you.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women?Same as above.ThornDaddy
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>>How important is a man’s scent to you?
I prefer a man to smell manly, musky and like a man. A bit of cologne
as an intermingling scent along with the natural smell is OK, butcologne that is so strong that it overpowers and overwhelms is a com-plete turnoff.
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 3:
Name: Kitty
(Kitty is a fan of our Submission and Coffee podcast. We really
like her, and have exchanged a bunch of e-mails with her.–ThornDaddy)
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please.“A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.” I am who I am,
but I use an alias when dealing with the BDSM scene. Kitty is my scenename. I’m 19 and have thinking about the lifestyle for two years now. Ilive in Canada. I’m a student, studying psychology, with ambitions ofbecoming a psychotherapist. I’m a writer and have a bachelor’s degreein creative writing, specifically, children’s literature. I volunteer as aleader and counsellor in the community specifically with kids and youth.
I’m in a long-term relationship with my
boyfriend/Daddy/Dom/Master/Protector, and we are a long-distancecouple. He’s 40. We met online and the distance was helping at first -letting us feel each other out, but now I feel it’s a hindrance toexpressing how much I love him and would do for him, if only I could.We see each other about once a month- he lives 700 miles away (1400miles away when I’m at University). He came to me first, meeting myfriends and family. I went to him second, we took a trip to DaytonaBeach for the NASCAR Races.
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
I’ve been aware of my sexuality since I was a child. My first sexual
feelings were of surprise and excitement when my genitals felt reallywarm. I would have described the sensations like it was as if I neededto pee- but I would never touch myself, like a good Christian girl.Shame and guilt kept me from exploring.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>When did you first masturbate?
The first time I honestly set out to masturbate, I was 18. Religious guilt
and shame held me back from exploring the physical side of my sexual-ity. Fantasies were my refuge.My imagination sustains me.
>>When did you first have intercourse? My first time having intercourse was when I was 19.
I wanted to throw off my virginity, because I felt it was holding meback from fully giving myself to my boyfriend/Dominant/ Master’sdesires. And so I did. He didn’t really want to, but it happened anyway.
>>Are you bisexual?I am bisexual but have not been able to explore this side of my sexual-
ity fully, yet.I never really considered myself bisexual until my boyfriend helped meexplore my feelings towards the girl friends I have in my life.
>>How orgasmic are you? I’m a screamer.
Typically shy and quiet, get me in the sack and I’m a rock star!My boyfriend was the first one to perform oral sex on me. We were inthe woods, in the middle of nowhere, and I was so loud, he said “Am Igonna have to gag you?”I dropped my head and quietly said yes, so he balled up a cloth fromhis truck and shoved it in my mouth and went back to making mescream and bite down on that thing.
>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse? Since my lover and I are long distance, I don’t get any intercourse until
we get together. But everyday, twice or three times a day would beideal.
>>How many times a week do you masturbate? I masturbate until I cum, three times a week. I play with myself for fun
all the time (but don’t tell my Daddy that).
>>Are you a squirter? I can definitely squirt- buckets, sometimes. I never squirted until I wasThornDaddy
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doing orgasm denial with my boyfriend, and when He let me cum, it
just came forth like a water spout in my pussy. I was so excited- myfirst squirting! I didn’t really believe in it until it happened to me.
>>How do you feel about anal sex? I’m an anal slut – I love anal sex. I would go so far to say I prefer it to
vaginal intercourse.
>>How do you feel about sex toys? Which ones do you like? I use sex toys on my own, while I masturbate, and would love to
explore using them with my partner. I like your basic sex toys- dildo,butt plug, and vibrators. My favorite sex toy is a vibrator that looks likea lipstick. I just love that I can take it anywhere and people don’t giveit a second glance. It also has a good kick for just a little thing. It’sgood for clit stimulation, but I have inserted it before.
>>Do you use condoms? I use condoms on my toys- makes them easier to clean. I do not use
condoms with my partner during sex. It’s like trying to wash your feetwith socks on.
>>Are you kinky? I would describe myself as kinky. I like vanilla sex, but how much more
I desire my lover taking me in the ass, pressing his body against themarks I have from the kiss of the whip, as my hands are bound andrestrained, a collar binds my neck, and a gag is in my mouth.
>> if so, bottom/top sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what?I am a submissive, not willing to drop into the role of slave right now. I
am a bottom and would not be able to top someone from the bottom,though I have entertained the idea. Not that it would defeat the pur-pose of being a bottom – I just don’t have it in me to be a top.
>>What does kink entail to you? Kink is anything that goes beyond normal penis-vaginal intercourse that
is sexually enticing. For me that would be spanking, bondage, andother forms of intense sexual play.
>>What’s it take to get into your pants? How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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A level head, a fiery heart, and a heavy hand are what it takes to get
into my pants.
>>What do you like in a sex partner?In a sex partner, I like willingness and openness to new experiences
and experimentation.
>>Describe the sexiest person you know. His eyes can communicate with me – whether he’s saying “I love you”
or giving me a warning to behave myself. He dresses excellently. Hedoesn’t try. Style comes naturally to him. He carries himself very well,
but he doesn’t dominate the room until he opens his mouth, andbecomes the life of the party.
>>What do you dislike in a potential partner? Beating around the bush, or being evasive is something I dislike in a
potential partner and in me, for that matter. If you’re serious that youwant to be with me, show it.
>>What’s a deal killer (i.e. things that would make you NEVER willing
to have sex with someone?)
If they overstepped their boundaries and took a part of me that I didn’t
want to give. A kiss I didn’t want to have. A touch that hurts when it’ssupposed to feel good. A photo taken without my permission or con-sent. You break my trust, you are gone.
>>If you were single, would you consider having sex with ThornDaddy
and Dollie Llama?
If I were single I would definitely consider having sex ThornDaddy and
Dollie.I’m a dedicated listener of SAC, and from what I hear, you can’t topthat kind of sex.
>>How many men have you slept with? There is only ONE man that I’ve been comfortable with enough to sleep
with, and have him fuck me too.
>>How many women? I haven’t slept with any women. Though the forecast is looking likely to
be on the rise.ThornDaddy
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>>Have you had group sex? Please give details.
No.>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? “That I can write about? My boyfriend and I did some BDSM edge play-
asphyxiation – an art both dangerous and erotic. In the woods, in thenight, in the winter snow, He wrapped his arm around my neck whiletaking me in the ass, and pulled back against my throat until my air-way was almost completely shut off. Through the struggle and tearsand begging release, when he did allow my breath return, I came hardand my orgasm was the most intense I had experienced.
>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually. With my current Dom. I go downstairs in the early morning to wake up
my Love in only a robe. I open the door and see Him fast asleep. Radioplays soft jazzy sounds in the darkness. I step inside and close thedoor.
I stand by His bed and rub His leg above the blankets, hoping to stir
Him so He isn’t startled by me. When He doesn’t stir, I grow bold. Idrop my robe and draw back the covers to step in the bed alongsideHim. At this He stirs, and predator -like He begins to catch and devourme with His love- wrapping me tightly in His arms, kissing me deeplyand hard. He moves on top of me. We lock eyes and I shake withexcitement and fear. I wrap my legs around His. With my hands caress-ing His back, I pull Him into me. He presses Himself into my pussy.
He knows where I stand, and He knows I’m not ready. I’m still a virgin
at this point, and He presses against my hymen. Slowly, He drawsHimself in and out – threateningly close to taking what I’m not ready togive. But I know I can trust Him. I know He would never hurt me with-out me wanting it. We stay entwined for a while longer- it may havebeen moments, it could have been hours. He left my gift of virginityintact that night, and I am ever grateful for His kindness.
(When I did finally give him my virginity, it was because I decided to
throw it off with him. It had become less of a gift, and more of a hin-drance to me serving him – I wanted him to have access to every partof me. It was unexpected when it happened – there wasn’t as muchpain or blood as I expected. But I feel bad because it was not the wayhe had wanted to receive it, and I was too eager.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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(He wanted to make love to me on the beach, in the night, under the
stars, only our moans and the waves the only sounds, on Valentine’sDay. But I feel the night I gave my virginity to him was more spiritual -in the binding of our spirits and bodies, rather than like the fumbling ofsome teenagers in a parent’s basement.)
>> How important is a man’s scent to you? A man’s scent is very important. I love the scent of a man that goes
without bathing for a while. I also like the smell of sweat mingled withcologne.
But don’t get me wrong – there’s nothing wrong with the scent of a
man that takes care to be continuously hygienic.
I love the smell and taste of a man’s balls and shaft in the morning,
especially when I blow my boyfriend before he takes a shower.
>>How are love and sex connected? Actions speak louder than words. Sex is the physical expression of the
heart. Sex says with your body that you cannot express through wordsbut in actions. Sex can exist without love and love without sex, buthow much more can you love when you have sex, and have suchmeaningful sex when you love someone?
>>How are sex and commitment related? The parallels between sex and commitment can be as long as the penis
is inserted the vagina or beyond the bedroom and in every part of life.You can be fuck buddies or move into becoming husband and wife. Ibelieve you can have sex without commitment, but it’s much moreintense if you can share feelings with your partner and become com-mitted.
>>If you’re kinky, how important is kink to you when choosing a part-
ner?
I require kink in a long-term partner, to satisfy my kink needs, and
they are undeniably needs.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
I could not be in a vanilla relationship and I could never look outside of
the relationship to satisfy my needs whether they were sexual or kinkneeds. I couldn’t allow someone to do that to me and would never doThornDaddy
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that to someone.
>>How important are looks? Looks are important enough for initial attraction.
Hygiene is more important.A person’s mind is more important.How a person treats you is more important.Looks are important, but if you don’t have anything to back up thatgreat smile, or if it’s empty beneath that soft hair, looks don’t mean toomuch.
>>How important is good kissing?A good kiss is terribly important. A kiss can tell you everything you
need to know:Is he just horny? Is he loving? Does he need a Tic-Tac? Can he take mein hand like I want him to?
>>Describe good kissing? A good kiss goes beyond the contact of lips. It is the exchange of life,
breath, and love.It involves your entire body: your arms to embrace each other; yourhands to explore one another; and your genitals to press against eachother, even if you’re clothed.
>>How important is penis size? Penis size is important as I’m afraid of anything larger than 7 inches.
Other than that, penis size doesn’t matter at all to me.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you? A man going down on me is not as important as me being able to go
down on him, but I do enjoy it IMMENSELY when a man goes down onme.
>>Do you go down on guys?I definitely do go down on guys. I’m a natural born cock-sucker. I don’t
have the art of cock-sucking totally down yet, but I do have the rawtalent and total desire.
>>How important is honesty and respect? How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Honesty and respect is everything. Regarding sex, one must be honest
about if they are carriers of any diseases and infections. Not justrespect, but basic human consideration, is an important element tohave in any form of relationship.
>>Are you a feminist? I’m not a feminist, and am not able to take on a feminist perspective.>>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist? It is definitely possible to be submissive to a man and still be a femi-
nist.I’m submissive to one man and will stand up against all others.
>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com ?
“SUBMISSION AND COFFEE” is a wonderful show that covers all areas
that I enjoy. It is real life, real sex, real submission, real domination,real art, and real love. They talk about things that are smart, helpful,relevant, and interesting. The podcast covers a wide variety of areas.There is something for everyone in SAC – whether it’s the music, thesex, the smart-people talk, or the D/s and kink.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck? Online is great resource for meeting people – you have detailed profiles
and usually interest checklists to see if you compatible.
I’ve been to raucous parties and bars before and have a guy just come
up to me and start slapping my ass while I’m dancing. Not your con-ventional handshake greeting, but I liked it and we recognize eachother now.
But whatever method you use to meet people, you need to be honest
about what you’re looking for, first with yourself, and then with others.If you just want a fuck buddy, be up front about it and look for otherswho are too.
Don’t pretend to want to have a relationship just to fuck a woman –
that’s sick, disrespectful, and completely unnecessary. There are lots ofwomen out there, and some think about sex more often than men. Youjust might find a bigger pervert than yourself.
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better? ThornDaddy
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Harder, deeper, faster for longer . Make her feel every solid, inch of you,
and don’t stop until you know each and every part of each other. Lookat her long and intensely in the eyes. Make her experience every emo-tion you feel for her. Explore each other with your fingers, mouths,eyes, genitals, anything. Do not leave any part of each other unex-plored.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women? Be open and honest when it comes to your own fears and desires.
Communication is an obvious suggestion, but it truly is the key to arelationship.
But you have to talk about yourself in the sense of your experiences
and how you feel about them, not just your favorite color or pizza top-pings.
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 4:
Name: Sienna S
(Sienna S is another devout listener of Submission and Coffee.
She wrote us a fan letter, we’ve chatted a bit, and we like her alot. –ThornDaddy)
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please. Name: Sienna S
Age: 37Location: AustraliaHobbies: Skiing, eating good food and drinking great wineSchooling: University Degree in Health ScienceRelationship status: Married
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
I remember being about three years old and noticing the older son of
our next-door neighbor and thinking “I can’t stop looking at you, I wantto hug and kiss you.”How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>When did you first masturbate?
After my parents gave me a book called Where Do I Come From? I
must have been 12. After reading the section on masturbationthought…“Wow OK, so it says that my body will feel like it just did asneeze, but tingle all over…that sounds like fun!” As soon as the sunwent down I was off to bed to begin exploring and finding out what thiswhole “orgasm” thing was about.
>>When did you first have intercourse? 18 years of age>>Are you bisexual?No, but I like kissing girls!>>How orgasmic are you? Masturbation – every time
Sex – rarelyDream state – very
>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse? I get sex about once every six months (not due to my lack of trying, I
might add). I would like to have sex every day.
>>How many times a week do you masturbate?At least four.>>Are you a squirter?
Not that I am aware.
>>How do you feel about anal sex? I have tried on a number of occasions to have anal sex, it just hurts
too much…. Fingers or a toy…No problem…penis…ouch!
>>How do you feel about sex toys? Which ones do you like? I have a whole drawer full of toys….I don’t like toys that are that
Made-in-China toxic plastic junk. The ones coming out of Germany andthe UK at the moment are pretty good. There is also a great companyThornDaddy
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in New Zealand that make a really good range of pure silicon non-
vibrating ones. They have a great weight to them and feel really life-like.
A good hand held back massager also does the trick. I picked up a back
massager from Chinatown years ago that is so strong you could drillthrough a wall with it…it’s strong enough to be able to stimulate me toorgasm through a pair of jeans.
>>Do you use condoms?Not anymore.>>Are you kinky? Very.>> If so, bottom/tom sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what?Switch – but after listening to Submission and Coffee, I think that I
may be more of a sub.
>>What does kink entail for you? Pushing boundaries, exploring those dark places, a good mind fuck,
anything with rope…
>>What’s it take to get into your pants? A quiet confidence, knowing what to say and when to say it…I was sitting in my lounge room after a first date years ago, I was just
about to put some music on and asked my date what he would like tolisten to. He replied, “We’re going to have sex.” I nearly had an orgasmon the spot.
>>What do you like in a sex partner?Someone who takes the time to read what my body is doing and
respond to it. Not just a mechanical set of actions. That is, go down onyou for three minutes, then regardless of what is happening come upand stick their cock into you…
Someone who has an imagination and can be spontaneous enough to
reach for something and use it. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>Describe the sexiest person you know.
Again it’s all about their quite confidence. Not overly good looking but
knows that if he had you in a room to himself – you would be his.
>>What do you dislike in a potential partner? Arrogance, bad aftershave, bad breath, hairy hands, rudeness.>>What’s a deal killer (i.e. things that would make you NEVER willing
to have sex with someone?)
Someone who acted sleazy, or told me how good it would be with
them. Stupid pick-up lines….“So do you sleep on your stomach? Oh.Really…well, can I?”
>>If you are (or were) single, would you consider having sex with
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama?
No.>>How many men have you slept with? Around 30. >>How many women? Kissed five, fucked none>>Have you had group sex? Please give details. Hmmm, we didn’t have sex but were all fondling and kissing, etc. So no
penetration.
>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? Hands bound kneeling on a chair, (knees on the seat, but facing the
back of the chair), gagged, blindfolded, dildo in my ass, cock in mypussy.
>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually. See above…..>>How are love and sex connected? I have never been a one-night stander, all the people I have slept withThornDaddy
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I have had some sort of relationship with. Not necessarily saying I was
in love with them, but there was definitely affection there. As I getolder however, the need to have the element in the sexual act seems tobe diminishing.
>>How are sex and commitment related? When you were younger, it was all about “If I have sex with you then I
am totally committed to you, I have shared my body with you blahblah.” A part of me wishes that when I was younger I had more confi-dence and was able to go out and explore more without thinking I hadto be in a relationship. I guess society played a big part in that withrespect to what was considered the norm and not wanting to be consid-ered “easy” and frowned upon by my peers.
>>How important is kink to you when choosing a partner? Do you
require kink in a long-term partner?
I was attracted to my husband because he was being flogged by an ex-
housemate and his then-girlfriend. I found it very attractive. I hadnever seen anyone being flogged before and thought it was the mostthrilling thing I had ever seen.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
I used to go onto Second Life and live out the fantasy life I would like
to lead in RL as a sub. I enjoyed being in this environment as it stimu-lated me mentally. Physically however this is where it failed and Iended up feeling more frustrated than before I started. As for doing itin real life – I think my Catholic upbringing would stop me from doinganything about it. In a perfect world however, if I could get away withit I would.
>>How important are looks? Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I feel. If you have a connection
with someone, if the energy between you is there, looks mean nothing.
>>How important is good kissing?Very very important. It tells so much about a person. >>Describe good kissing? A relaxed mouth that melts into you. Makes you suck a little breath inHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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because you have to stop yourself from falling. Nibbles and bites, suck-
ing on the bottom lip a little, a carefully placed tongue. Kissing thatextends to an extended side of a neck, turns into bites and verges on alittle bit of pain. Mmmmm
>>How important is penis size? “It’s not the size it’s what you do with it” – BUT too small and it can be
a problem. Too large is also a problem. I went out with a guy that wasMASSIVE, it was ridiculous, he couldn’t even get a condom on. Everytime we had sex, it was a marathon just to get it inserted.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you? I can take it or leave it. I like the sensation but have never been stimu-
lated to orgasm from it.
>>Do you go down on guys?Yes. I love it. I love love love giving head. Love the sensation, the
smell, the taste. There is so much to do down there, balls, asshole,cock… so many different textures and sensations on your lips!
>>How important is honesty and respect? I believe it is very important. If you can’t be honest with someone you
are disrespecting yourself as much as you are them.
>>Are you a feminist? I believe that men and women are equal. But from a kink point of view,
when ThornDaddy calls Dollie his “Dirty little cum whore, only made forthe pleasure of men” it’s a turn on…..
>>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist? Dollie is the perfect example of that!>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com
?
I have learned so much from Submission and Coffee, from how to feel
comfortable making noises in bed to accepting that anal sex is OK. Thequality of the recording is excellent, the conversations in real time ofday-to-day activities (i.e. going on a picnic, getting a haircut, etc) isfantastic. I especially love when there is a transition from “normal”ThornDaddy
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activities like picnic to full blown orgy-styled sex and back again. I
think it really encourages people who only have sex in the confines ofthe bedroom and are too scared to try anything in a different environ-ment to get out there and explore!
>>How important is a man’s scent?Well they say that a man’s scent is the first thing that attracts a
woman. I believe that, I can walk through a crowd and smell a man….Iprefer a natural scent to aftershave. I had a boyfriend who left his T-shirt at my place….I wore it to bed until I couldn’t smell him anylonger. It was fantastic.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck? Be honest – what is the point of trying to get in bed with a woman that
you don’t have a natural connection with. You can “play the game” and“trick” a woman into bed, but it will be bad for her and it will be bad foryou. The more honest you are about your needs and wants right fromthe beginning, the stronger the natural connection will be and this inturn can only result in a fantastic love making / sex session.
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better? Don’t be afraid to experiment. Ask questions. Communication is vital,
ask her what she likes and tell her what you like. Read books, listen topodcasts like Submission and Coffee and educate yourself about thevarious aspects of sex. Find out what you like, if you don’t know thenexplore and find out!
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women? Let her know she is needed and wanted. Every now and then tell her
she is beautiful. A woman loves to hear that you find her sexy andattractive. It makes her feel good and she will be more confident inherself because of it.
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 5:
Name: Jennifer Neko
(Jennifer and I used to have sex, before I met Dollie. We’re still
good friends. She comes over for dinner sometimes, and houseHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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sits and takes care of our kitties when we’re out of town. In
fact, Jennifer was the only guest when Dollie and I got married.She was the witness as well as the photographer. –ThornDaddy)
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please.I’m in my mid-20s, go to university. I have a long-term relationship
with a man my age, and I think we look like a contradiction whentogether. I collect comic books, know near nothing about science fic-tion, and I really like to eat good offal. All signs have signaled thatwe’re doing really well for a polyamorous couple. We love each othervery much, and seem to grow together. The most pensive time we’vehad so far was when my poop flooded the toilet and I had to clean it allup at 2 AM with eight rolls of paper kitchen towels. He was not veryhappy then.
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
My first sexual feelings were at 13 when I found the hidden folder of
porn from a friend’s zip disk. He apparently didn’t know I knew how tounhide folders on a Mac. There were a lot of graphic pictures that mademe really aroused.
>>When did you first masturbate? Thirteen years old. I didn’t know how to masturbate and so I just kept
touching and trying new things ‘til I was able to cum for the first time.
>>When did you first have intercourse?At nineteen, in a dorm room with an Economics major I’d just met that
afternoon.
>>Are you bisexual? Biologically, I have no obvious sensation when looking at women I
could be attracted to. However, I choose to be with women on an occa-sional basis, for fun or friendship-enhancing revelry.
>>How orgasmic are you? Not very, I need to actively concentrate on my own sensations to main-
tain arousal, and I frequently am distracted by self-conscious worries.
>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse? ThornDaddy
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4-5 times a week.
>>How many times a week do you masturbate?As of late, it ranges from two times a week to every two weeks.>>Are you a squirter?Yes, I can squirt.>>How do you feel about anal sex? I liked it in the beginning, but I can’t really do it anymore because I
have hemorrhoids. I like being rimmed, and I have not found manywho like to do it.
>>How do you feel about sex toys? Which ones do you like? When alone, I like to have a vibrator or dildo of medium thickness
inside me while I hold a vibrator to my clit. Sometimes I cum bestwhen I do this on my knees.
>>Do you use condoms? I use condoms only when I’m doubtful my contraceptive pills are work-
ing, or when I’m with someone other than my boyfriend.
>>Are you kinky? Rough sex and light bondage are constants, but I am not overtly kinky.>> If so, bottom/tom sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what?Mostly sub.>>What does kink entail for you? It entails sex that I want to have which I can’t tell my friends about
because they are too vanilla to understand before judging me harshly. Ilike group sex, rough play, and restraints, but I don’t think these areextreme kink.
>>What’s it take to get into your pants? Compliment me and make me your center of attention. Flirt and let me
know you want me.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>What do you like in a sex partner?
Open mindedness to try new things, and be able to talk about them
too. He must also know how to touch slowly and knowingly, respondingto my body in different ways when I am further and further aroused.
>>Describe the sexiest person you know. My boyfriend is. And I won’t describe what he looks like. He’s very
wise, witty, honest, has integrity, and is kind.
>>What do you dislike in a potential partner? If he’s cruel and manipulates people. If he broods, and is not commu-
nicative, if he lies, and if he is not honest.
>>What’s a deal killer (i.e. things that would make you NEVER willing
to have sex with someone?)
Absolutely disgusting “soul”, meaning if he has ever humiliated others,
hurt animals, hurt people intentionally, and has no empathy.
>>If you are (or were) single, would you consider having sex with
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama?
Yes, that would be nice.>>How many men have you slept with? 20 (+/-) men over seven years.>>How many women? I’ve slept with four women.>>Have you had group sex? Please give details. Three times. The first was at a sex party I happened to walk into. Two
women and their men invited me to join, and I was eager to etch mesome new experiences. It was the first time I’d ever had a man behindme and another in my mouth. I enjoyed this very much and still fanta-size about it.
The second was at a later date, hosted by the same people. I’d come
with a friend, hoping he’d be able to charm another woman to join us.We weren’t very successful, but had found a group wanting to play withThornDaddy
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us all the same. Then my wallet got stolen that night; we searched the
whole apartment for it, but it wasn’t found.
The third time came years later. I was invited over to play with a friend
of mine from school, and his new partner, who at 35, had her first sex-ual experience with him only a few weeks prior. We first cuddled, thenhe and I gently started taking off her clothing to massage and loosenher tenseness. His lips took care of her face, while I licked along herlower parts, eventually reaching her mons and clit. It was wise that shecould look at him while I licked her, as I could sense she was not goingto be very eager for lesbian sex. The rest of the night focused on eas-ing her into sharing two bodies at once, and trying to relax her.
When I left that morning, my friend said that his partner had cried
afterwards, saying she felt very lonely and insane. We both grew con-cerned, and she wrote an email to us soon after, explaining what shewas thinking of that night and why she felt so conflicted. It makes mefeel sad that her first group experience was not as nice as we’d hopedfor her, but it seems she’d been rushed into a lot of new things in ashort period of time. The valuable years of knowing when to make love,and when to be carnal were still a vague sameness to her. She justneeds time to work out whether she can really have casual sex, or stickto romantic relationships.
>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? I’m not sure, there are several, and none strike me as very kinky, but
perhaps another may find them pant wetting. Being hogtied and fucked‘til my boyfriend came in me, then photographed in that position withcum dripping out of my pussy.
>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually. It was with another lover, a friend who wanted to see if he could have
“friends with benefits” and not end up attached emotionally. We bothwere of the same veracity, and were hungry for long, rough, almostdesperate fucking. He could look at me in very wanting eyes, and touchme in movements that said the same, I felt so wonderful. His excite-ment came from holding me very tightly, whispering things he’d like todo to me. I would tease ‘til he did them.
>>How are love and sex connected? Much of the time they are mentally referred to as a pair-bonded combi-
nation. I can have the best sex I’ve ever had with someone I did notlove, and yet love the person I possess, but still feel sexually unsatis-How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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fied. My serendipity: that I could be in love with a person who matched
my own appetite for the recipe of my sexual tastes.
>>How are sex and commitment related? You endanger the health and well being of your partner if you’d rather
hope he/she doesn’t find out about your side game. A partner deservesfull honesty, and entrusts you with not coming home to mingle infectedmucus membranes together without knowing who you were with last. Ifyou want to be polyamorous, then take time to lay out boundaries andagreements for what will hopefully be a nice time, so the person athome doesn’t have to worry so much.
>>How important is kink to you when choosing a partner? Do you
require kink in a long-term partner?
I need my partner to be open minded to try new things, or be able to
talk about them with me without flinching in disgust. I have tastesmany people would find no reason for understanding, and so I won’t bewith them, but the person I am with will.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
No, not without my partner’s knowledge and approval. If it were agreed
to, then I would seek other people to satisfy me.
>>How important are looks? A degree or two less important than character. I still will want to stare
at my man everywhere he walks, but that is also in part because Iknow of what an amazing person he is. My eyes are lured by his com-passion, intelligence, and quirkiness, and I stare at these things as Ilook at his beauty as well.
>>How important is good kissing?It is not good when one is kissing a jackhammer. That’s too loud.>>Describe good kissing? Like gospel singing, it is call and response. A hard-press echoed with
even harder presses, nibbles talking to nibbles, or withdrawing teasing-ly from a tongue that wants to hold onto you. Not slobbering withoutknowing whether the other person likes slobbering.
>>How important is penis size? ThornDaddy
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Length is not so important as girth is. Being poked in the cervix when
I’m not ready is very painful, but having a filling sensation provokesmore of my desire.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you? I would rather he go down on me if it turned him on to do so. His
arousal makes it all the better for me, as mine is not independentlytriggered. I enjoy when a man is good with his tongue, but only if he’scomfortable and eager to have me.
>>Do you go down on guys?Almost all the time. I really love to do it, especially when I masturbate.>>How important is honesty and respect? Honesty and respect are thetwo elements. Everything else springs
from that.
>>Are you a feminist? Yes, indeed. >>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist? Yes, her private life has no bearing on the inalienable rights of all
women, nor does it even remotely touch it. That she chooses to besubmissive, and not forced to be, is a feminist exercise.
>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com
?
I like Dollie’s voice, and the content is fun and varied, but because I
know them the way I do, it still feels like I’m listening in to my parentshaving sex (and I’ve never done that before).
>> How important is a man’s scent to you?There’s a scientific folk tale out there about how body odors are sup-
posed to signal the degree of relatedness with the person you meet. Ifthere’s something strange about his scent, then he must be a cousin. Idon’t really believe that, but I do know I wouldn’t be as comfortablearound someone who had a body odor I didn’t like. I like smelling myHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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boyfriend after he comes home sweaty from jogging, it doesn’t bother
me at all. I like him after a bath too, because he smells like shampoo.Even if a man has just washed and is clean, I would still notice his dis-tinctness when it’s time to get close no matter what he does. It mattersenough to consider for a moment whether I want to date that personanyway.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck? Be completely open about what you want to have and do, not only to
filter out those unwilling, but to also have agreement. Trust is anaphrodisiac because it takes away one more item of apprehension fromthe moment. Apprehension is like a sympathetic response that says“Run away!”, but at whisper level, and sympathetic responses restrictblood flow and body functions to do just that. To trust a lover is enter-ing safe territory.
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better? Take time to arouse her and make her feel good. Care about what she’s
experiencing, perhaps love her if you can. Throw some toys in for fun.Many sex toys are weird looking, but then laughing is one more thingthat makes sex better.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women? Don’t blame her for something she didn’t do . Talk to her in your
most honest self and let her see your faults, so she can be nearer toyou. Let her show her faults too, her plain, undignified awkwardnesswhose translation reads like a description of her life.
(ThornDaddy’s note: the bold on Don’t blame her for some-
thing she didn’t do is mine. I believe it’s the most important
lesson there is for dealing well with humans. “ Don’t blame
people for things that aren’t their fault.”)
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 6:
Name: Amy-Rose
(Amy-Rose is a fan of the podcast, and did the wonderful draw-
ing that’s on the cover of this book, and used at the top of everyThornDaddy
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page. She’s an amazing person. She’s also a virgin, and very
pretty. That’s a rare bird these days. And I loved interviewingher, the fact that a virgin can consider herself kinky helps rein-force my theory that kink is more innate than learned.–ThornDaddy)
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please.
My name is Amy-Rose, I am 20 years old, and live in Canada. I will be
going into my 3rdyear of university studying design next year. At the
moment, I am consumed with painting a pair of old Converse All-Stars– that sums up my short-term hobbies. I love reading fantasy and psy-chological thrillers, and I love adding my own commentary when Iwatch movies. I like to play piano, write, dance, paint, camp, and Ihope to one day learn to play the cello. I’m single, and shy, but love tolaugh and joke. I’ve never been in a long-term relationship and I am avirgin.
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
I’m assuming I was a later bloomer compared to most – I’ve heard of
people having their first orgasm at 6 years old – I was 13 when Ibecame sexually aware, but feelings probably started at 11 or 12, whenI was first exposed to porn via pirated pay-per-view. It was unlike any-thing I had ever seen before, and I was fascinated. It made me tinglein special places .
>>When did you first masturbate?When I was 13. I had found out that masturbation wasn’t exclusively
male, as I had assumed (I had never heard of a single instance offemale masturbation before this, so I assumed it didn’t exist – that itwas physically impossible even). The first time I tried, I didn’t climax,
but I thought I had, and thought, “So what’s the big deal? It’s not that
good.” The second time I did however, and remember thinking, “That’sa lot better!”
>> When did you first have intercourse?
>>How come you’re still the prettiest 20-year-old virgin in the world? Good question. As far as I’ve experienced, guys don’t seem to be
attracted to me in the least. I don’t have any close guy friends (tointroduce me to their guy friends!). I’ve always been a little shy with
strangers, and I (apparently) have a hard time recognizing flirting – oh,How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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and I can never make the first move (call it submissiveness, call it
chickenshit, whatever). I don’t hang out at bars or clubs like normalcollege students (I just don’t see the thrill), so being in a setting tomeet guys is rather limited.
>>Are you bisexualNot really. I find it’s fun when I’m in public sometimes to allow guys to
think a girlfriend and I are lovers – I like to play it up just to teasethem, to make their heads turn, but other than that, I don’t have anysexual attraction to women.
>>How orgasmic are you?On a scale of 1 to 10, compared to Dollie, who I’d say is a 10, being
veryorgasmic, I’m probably a 7. It usually takes at least 5 minutes for
me to climax, and afterward I can very rarely come again in less than15 minutes. Although, I do have trembling, wave-like, eyes-roll-back-in-my-head orgasms, so that makes up for it maybe.
>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse?Well I never have, but if I did, probably every day. But I’d rather wait
and have sex with someone I love than devalue sex by being frivolous.
>>How many times a week do you masturbate?Around 7, give or take. Once a day. I’ve trained my body to go to sleep
after masturbating, so unless I’m REALLY tired, or just extra horny, justthe one time a day.
>>Are you a squirter?I wish – I think it would be SO hot if I could squirt on command. I
hope someday I can learn how. I think squirting is sexy because, likemale ejaculation, it affirms that a person isn’t faking it.
>>How do you feel about anal sex?It makes me squirmy and uncomfortable. I know there are multiple
ways to make it safe and clean to avoid infection and injury, but still,there’s a piece of me that says, “exit only.”
>>How do you feel about sex toys?I don’t own any sex toys – mainly because I can’t afford them. If I everThornDaddy
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win the lottery (and get my forty acres and a llama!), I’d probably get
one of those 18k gold Lelo vibrators just for the novelty.
>>Do you use condoms?
I would use condoms until I got married, even if I were on birth con-trol.
>>Are you kinky?
Yes, although I don’t know how far it runs because I’ve never exploredit with another person. I want to try bondage, spanking, whipping, roleplaying, probably more, and I am a naturally submissive person whowould enjoy a man dominating me.
>> If so, bottom/top sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what?I’m a sub, but could possibly be a switch.>>What does kink entail to you?I think almost anything outside of straight-out intercourse could be
considered kinky. For instance, even oral sex could be a fetish, or lightspanking. There are different degrees of kink – light to heavy, with dif-ferent degrees of risk and intricacy. I think it’s a very broad area ofsexuality that’s being increasingly explored by more people.
>>What’s it take to get into your pants?1) Honesty 2) A vet checkup 3) some form of contraception 4) A decla-
ration of long term commitment.
>>What do you want in a sex partner?Someone who can communicate what they want and who wants me to
communicate what I want. Someone willing to explore. Someone whowants to pleasure me while getting pleasure from me.
>>Describe the sexiest person you know.My best friend. She’s not afraid to show off what she’s got and won’t
apologize for it. She’s not afraid to show her obvious love of built,sweaty men, and love (or loathe) for the people around her.
>>What do you dislike in a potential partner?Bad teeth, someone too conservative/liberal, someone more than 15
years older than me, someone who doesn’t give me the opportunity toHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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express my opinion or someone who doesn’t respect my opinion.
>>What’s a deal killer?1)The possibility of contracting a major/terminal STD, 2) If the other
person is already in a relationship, 3) Getting pregnant.
>>If you are (or were) single, would you consider having sex with
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama?
No, I could not stand being a beta sub. I NEED a monogamous rela-
tionship – at least for now.
>>How many men have you slept with?None! In any capacity.>>How many women?None, and not planning to.>>Have you had group sex? Please give details.I have not.>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done?Nothing comes to mind.>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually.Probably the week or so I was writing my first erotic fiction story that
was actually a fantasy I’ve had for a while. I had to work out thedetails on paper, and by working them out, it seemed more real orplausible. Plus, I was thinking about it a lot and that was a turn-on.
>>How are love and sex connected?I think they aren’t necessarily connected, but in my opinion, should be.
For me at least, being at the height of intimacy with someone I trust ismore appealing than random sex.
>>How are sex and commitment related?I think most of the time, committing to sex and communication with a
particular partner over time will just make sex more enjoyable, becauseyou start to know what turns your partner on and vice versa, resultingThornDaddy
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in more satisfying sex.
>>If you’re kinky, how important is kink to you when choosing a part-
ner? Do you require kink in a long-term partner?
I think to keep things interesting, some kind of kink would eventually
have to be incorporated into sex for the relationship to last. At least awillingness to explore is needed.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
I would never go behind my partner’s back. If I am in a happy relation-
ship, even a vanilla one, I imagine that I would be communicating mydesires to my man automatically, so I would be discussing my needswith my partner and working out a solution or compromise.
>>How important are looks?I won’t deny they are, but they’re not everything. If you don’t find
someone attractive physically, I imagine it would be more difficult tohave a sexual relationship. I find that the more I get to know a guy asa friend, the more attractive he becomes (as long as we have things incommon!).
>>How important is good kissing?Not sure. I suppose if it’s bad, you could just improve with time to the
preference of your partner.
>>Describe good kissing?Good breath, clean teeth, no excess saliva.>>How important is penis size?I don’t know – I hear different things. I suppose if a penis is too big to
fit in a vagina, it doesn’t matter what sizeit is, it is simply too big. Or
vice versa. It depends on the physical compatibility of two individuals,and their preferences.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you?I’d say moderately important. I think by doing it, it shows me he loves
and accepts my vagina, enough to put his lips to it. I know it’s notevery woman’s turn on, but I’d like it occasionally.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>Do you go down on guys?
I wish! I have an oral fixation. I don’t believe I could orgasm just by
giving head (with no direct stimulation), nevertheless…to give someonethe pleasure my mouth can offer is very satisfying, even as a fantasy.
>>How important is honesty and respect?Very, I’d say vital. Without open honesty, a relationship can’t reach its
full potential. Without respect for each other, I imagine the relationshipwasn’t that great to begin with.
>>Are you a feminist?Maybe, I think equalist would be a better word though. I think men and
women should have equal opportunity, voice, and respect.
>>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist?Yes. Submissiveness is a choice , it shouldn’t be a response to fear –
that is abusive. We submissives choose to give up our choice – if weare told to do something, we do it because we want to, and we always
have to right to refuse.
>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com ?
I love it! It’s a big nail in the coffin of BDSM stigma. I love how it’s
unscripted, uncensored and totally honest. My favorite moments are lis-tening to the cats purr with happiness, listening to Daddy and Dolliebeing sweet and saying “love you!” to each other, and of course, thesex! I think it is absolutely remarkable that Dollie can cum by givinghead. Jealous!
>>How important is a man’s scent to you?Everyone has a different smell, and I probably will like my man’s scent
(once I get him). But for now, I enjoy right-out-of-the-shower clean;that faint smell of soap mixed with the natural smell of clean skin.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck?Don’t act overconfident – you just come off looking like an asshole. Be
polite, honest, subtly confident, non-threatening – try to make her feelcomfortable with you, bring out the good parts of your personality. ItThornDaddy
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doesn’t hurt to have a shower and throw on some clean clothes either.
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better?If they haven’t told you what they want yet, askthem. If they say
something like, “as my partner, you should intuitively know what Iwant!”, that’s bullshit. It is possible to know what someone wantssometimes , but not all the time. Deep down, they know that no one is
a mind reader, but they want to believe that what they’re saying is truebecause they want the security of knowing they’ve found their soulmate/true love. Women don’t want to waste their time and youth anduterus on someone who’s not compatible with them.
Communication is what keeps a relationship strong and since you’re not
telepathic she has to vocalize her thoughts and feelings and desires soyou can better please her. Be willing to explore with her, even if whatshe proposes sounds a little strange (but if it’s risky, know the risksbeforehand). During sex, be aware of her facial expressions and bodymovements that should give you some clues to what you’re doingright/wrong. Of course, this is just my take on it all – what do I know?
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women?1) Don’t let them get bored. When people get bored, they either get
depressed or start looking for excitement. Constantly be on the lookout for things to do together and share together, and ask her what shewants to do. But keep in mind that every relationship has ups anddowns. It can’t be exciting as hell all the time – that would be exhaust-ing.
2) Women aren’t mind readers either. Sometimes we don’t know what
you’re annoyed or angry at, so you have to say something. If youdon’t, nothing gets fixed. Even if it has nothing to do with her, shecould offer a different perspective on the situation and help you with it.Likewise, if she does something you like, tell her you like it. We like tobe complimented and know our work is appreciated, then we’re morelikely to do it again.
3) Try not to forget important dates, i.e. birthdays. It may be uninten-
tional, you may have a terrible memory regardless of circumstance, butgirls often see this as men not caring enough to remember. Write itdown, set alarms, whatever.
4) A lasting relationship is an exchange. When someone gives, gives,
gives and gets nothing in return, it’s almost like a breach of contract. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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5) Everyone needs their personal space and time, and each person is
different. Some need more, some need less. Don’t be distant, and don’tbe suffocating.
>———————————-<
INTERVIEW 7:
Name: Mistress Velvet
(Mistress Velvet is yet another fan of Submission and Coffee
who wrote us a fan letter and we e-mailed back and forth. Wetotally dig her. –ThornDaddy)
>>Tell us a little bit about yourself please. I’m Mistress Velvet, I’m 24 years old. My hobbies consist of taking care
of my little zoo (2 cats, 1 parakeet, 1 dove, 1 rat, fish, 8 chickens, anda red tail boa constrictor), Web design, and writing. I have a degree incomputer networking but I am a full time housewife. I have been mar-ried for just over a year. I will dig more into my relationships when Iget to other questions!
>>How long have you been aware of sexual feelings in your own body?
What were your first feelings?
I started to discover my feelings when I was about 6 or 7, I was riding
a little bouncy horse, the kind that is suspended by springs and realizedthat it felt good! I didn’t understand completely why it felt good but itonly took me a few months and late night TV to figure out it had to besomething to do with sex.
>>When did you first masturbate?
I started experimenting with different things after discovering pressure
on my crotch felt good and by about 8 years old I had figured out howto bring myself to my first orgasm by holding a pillow tight between mylegs and kinda riding back and forth against it. Then after a couple ofmonths I figured out that a hula hoop felt better, looking back on itnow it makes sense that something more rigid placed more direct pres-sure, I didn’t understand it at the time.
>>When did you first have intercourse? I have two answers for this question:ThornDaddy
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The first time I actually had sex I was 11… From the time I was 10
until I was 13 I was molested by my much older step brother… At age11 it progressed from molestation to rape. I was living with my dadand my step-mom and didn’t tell them for years so the abuse contin-ued until I kinda snapped one day when I was 13 and called my motherand told her I needed to move back in with her right away. Needless tosay it was a horrible experience but it has made me stronger.
Now the first time I had consensual sex was a different story! After
moving back in with my mother I rebelled really hard. I was almost 14,it was about 4 months after I moved out of my father’s house. I hadbeen dating this guy for a few months when we finally decided we wereready. He was a virgin so it wasn’t great! Lasted about a whole 45 sec-onds. Luckily for me, he had made me cum twice already with his fin-gers so I was satisfied! I can remember it crystal clear, there is a lot ofsex I’ve had that I cannot remember so clearly, this time was a majorrush from knowing I had some control over the situation.
>>Are you bisexual?Yes I am bisexual, I personally actually prefer women for a serious
relationship even though at the moment I am involved with two menand no women. That’s the way the cookie crumbles, I suppose. My firstlove was a woman and I think that has made me a bit biased!
I actually believe that all people are bisexual. Humans clearly have sex
for fun. If you believe in evolution, they have proven humans evolvedto have sex for pleasure, and with multiple partners. It only makessense to me that pleasure can come from either sex. In times beforeChristianity, many cultures encouraged sexual fun, with both sexes. Ibelieve now we have so many straight people as a result of generationsof imposed morals which go against homosexuality.
>>How orgasmic are you? Well, I have never really had a problem having an orgasm. I tend to
always have multiples. I usually have no problems having orgasmsback to back with a minute to two between. There have been a fewoccasions I have had about 6 or 7 just kinda blend into one, with about10 or 15 seconds in between. That was lots of fun! 🙂 I can orgasmfrom little things too, like having my hair pulled. I also can orgasm oncommand while in sub-space. If a Dom/me orders me to cum it usuallytakes about 15 seconds for me to orgasm, even without sexual stimula-tion! How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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>>How many times a week do you like to have intercourse?
Hmm as much as possible! I am usually satisfied with about 3 times a
day, which tends to end up with me having about 6 or 7 orgasms eachtime. Depending on the partner sometimes once is enough, others 5 or6 times are needed. With my current partners, about 3 is usuallyenough to leave me happy enough that I don’t feel the need to mastur-bate later!
>>How many times a week do you masturbate? That depends on how much sex I am having! Assuming I am having no
sex at least 2 or 3 times a day. If I am having regular sex I still mas-turbate every morning in the shower and usually right before fallingasleep unless I have sex right before falling asleep. The last time myhusband was out of town and I was completely alone with no sexualcontact at all for a few days I masturbated 6 or 7 times a day!
>>Are you a squirter? Yes I am! I typically have 3 or 4 “little” orgasms first. These are the
“normal” orgasms that most women have, then I will squirt. A lot ofwomen need a lot of G-spot stimulation to achieve squirting, I do not.
It just naturally happens with my 4thor 5thorgasm back to back in a
short time span. Not all partners are able to bring me to this place, butI tend to weed out the ones that aren’t, or train them to do so!
>>How do you feel about anal sex? I enjoy anal sex immensely! I do have to have a lot of trust with my
partner to have anal sex with them. I greatly fear long-term physicaldamage so typically anal sex with me is the final stage to get to. I pre-vent physical damage to my ass by warming up with butt plugs of pro-gressively larger sizes…Slowly moving up to the size of the man I amgoing to be sleeping with.
There are very few people I trust enough to fuck me in the ass. Which
I makes it even more enjoyable for me. It is a very passionate act onthe rare occasion that it happens.
>>How do you feel about sex toys? Which ones do you like? I absolutely love toys! I have never really found a toy I didn’t like! I
feel that everyone’s sex life can benefit from toys! Even “tame” toys forvanilla couples, they can add such excitement! Even for me, I havesuch a collection that I rotate through them. When my husband grabs aThornDaddy
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toy we haven’t used in a while it’s such a rush! I have and use every-
thing from “tame” little bullets to a TENS Unit.
>>Do you use condoms? I do not use condoms with my husband. I am not able to have children
so there is no need for birth control between us. I do use them withanyone else I play with for STD protection. I won’t use them with asteady partner who I know is clean and not having sex with anyoneelse, or is using condoms every time with his other partners.
>>Are you kinky? Of course I am! I have really been kinky since before I started actually
having consensual sex! My mind just is wired that way. I started exper-imenting with handcuffs and rope play with my serious partner as ateenager. She also thought as I did, and we both started discoveringtogether. We were both switch and kinky before we knew the words toexplain what we were doing! Just came as natural as breathing to us…
>> If so, bottom/top sub/slave/dom/master, switch, or what?I am switch, I prefer to be Domme with women as I am typically sub
with men. Although lately I have been breaking down that wall, thanksto my newest toy. (And by “toy” in this sense, I don’t mean a “vibratingsex device”, I meant another partner! I call my fuck buddies “toys”. )My new toy is also switch but has been helping to push me to beDomme with him. This has helped me to also be Domme with my hus-band so lately I have been switch all around, and I don’t think that isgoing to change.
I used to have an extremely hard time being aggressive, even with
men, let alone Domme with them. This was due to the sexual abuse Iendured. So for many years I was always sub with men, and switchwith women. In the past few months I have broken down that wall, andlately have been like a kid in a candy store enjoying this new rush ofbeing able to dominate a man!
>>What does kink entail for you? To me kink is anything the “normal” people won’t do. I am really open
and will try anything at least twice. Most people of course aren’t thisway. When I meet new people who are kinky and they ask me what Iam into I typically respond with, “How about the list of my hard limitsinstead, as it is much shorter…” I heard you and Dollie talking aboutyour hard limits on “Submission and Coffee”, all like 4 or 5 of them. IHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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am the same way!
>>What’s it take to get into your pants? For men, I want someone who sees me as more than just a sex toy.
Prove to me that you see allof me, and that we can sit and talk for
hours about whatever random stuff comes to mind, and I will gladlyfuck you silly! I enjoy sex greatly but I am secure with who I am. Ineed a man to appreciate me completely. It seems so simple, yet somany men struggle to look me in the eye when we talk. They are morefocused on my 40F bra size. If a man can see the whole package;
mind, body, and soul, he will usually be lucky enough to enjoy thewhole package!
>>What do you like in a sex partner?I like someone who is open minded. I think that is the most important
thing to me! I don’t really need someone who is as kinky as me, solong as they are willing to push their limits! I feel that life is too shortto be wasted doing the “usual” in or out of the bedroom. Someone whois willing to try new things and communicate what the things they likeand dislike are is typically lots of fun for me!
>>Describe the sexiest person you know. The sexiest person I have ever known was my first girlfriend Alysin.
She had a way about her that reminded me of a geisha! She wasextremely intelligent and could hold her own in any conversation, butshe moved with a grace I have yet to find again. Everything she didwas beautiful. She was the kind of girl that was still hot when she hadflu and felt absolutely horrible. Just watching her doing anything, evenjust sitting and reading a book, made me wet and took my breath awayall at the same time.
>>What do you dislike in a potential partner? I don’t like men who only want sex. There is nothing wrong with having
fuck buddies but too many men focus on the fucking part and not at allon the buddy part. Other than that I don’t like people who are closeminded. Oh and I can’t let myself like someone who is allergic to cats,THEY MUST LIKE CATS! 🙂
>>What’s a deal killer (i.e. things that would make you NEVER willing
to have sex with someone?)
I can’t stand people who are really not open minded. Even in ways that
don’t affect me, like so many men who are homophobic when it comesThornDaddy
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to men but love to see two girls go at it! I can’t even bring myself to
be attracted to men like that.…I will not be involved with anyone who isinto sex with animals or children. That is liable to bring out violence ina non-sexual way in me. Other than that, the only other thing is lying.I am a brutally honest person and I can not stand being lied to.
>>If you are (or were) single, would you consider having sex with
ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama?
Nice one to slip in there! 😛 Yes I definitely would, but I know I am too
young for you guys! Enough said, I think! 🙂
>>How many men have you slept with? Oh, I hate counting but I will…23 I believe. I could be missing a drunk
one night stand or two. That is all of my consensual partners, anyway.
>>How many women? More counting OK, 12… Now a lot of those were long-term relation-
ships where there was a man or two or three. I haven’t had a monoga-mous relationship since I was 16. And even that relationship he let meplay with girls, and I did, just no other men. That is really the closestto monogamy I have ever had. I know it’s not going to work so I justdon’t even bother to try! 🙂
>>Have you had group sex? Please give details. I have had quite a few threesomes but never a larger group. The first
one I was 16, the most recent I was 22. So you want details, then Iwill tell you about my most fun threesome! I was 20 and the guy I wasdating wanted to watch me get fucked by another guy, so we found aguy who was interested. I slept with this second guy a few times so hecould get used to me and be comfortable enough for the threesome.
The night of the threesome wasn’t planned, we were just hanging out
on my trampoline talking for a while. Then the guys apparently decidedtonight was a good night while I went inside for a minute.
I came back out and got up on the trampoline, my boyfriend threw me
down and started making out with me. Then my toy came over andstarted kissing me while my boyfriend proceeded to take off my shirtand bra and start playing with my breasts. My boyfriend unzipped mypants and took them off while my toy started playing with my breasts.This continued on until I was getting fucked by my boyfriend whilesucking my toy’s cock. Then my toy fucked me while my boyfriend justHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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sat back, watching and masturbating. They kept taking turns fucking
me until I was on the verge of passing out. We allended up passing
out, naked on the trampoline!
>>What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever done? Well, that’s a tough one to answer… There was one time at a dungeon
I used to frequent. Typically when I went to this dungeon I used to justsit back and watch, socialize with people but never really engage sexu-ally. At the time I was 19 and not nearly as secure with myself as I amnow. I am a big girl and couldn’t see myself trying to show off with allthese skinny little things running around. One night though I was feel-ing adventurous enough to let my Dom flog me. He tied me to a SaintAndrews Cross in just my bra and panties, then he undid my bra andflogged me from my shoulders to my ankles. There were a lot of peoplewatching but I couldn’t see them since I was facing the wall. I justheard them talking, it could have been 5 people, it could have been 25,I’ll never know. All I knew was having that many people looking at mewhile getting flogged, I just orgasmed over and over. By the time hewas done I was pretty bruised from head to toe and literally had cumdripping down both legs to the ground where there were small puddlesat my feet. Everyone, from what I heard, thoroughly enjoyed the show.And I thoroughly enjoyed knowing they were watching.
I consider that to be the kinkiest thing I’ve done, as it was me going so
far out of my comfort zone while enjoying every second of it! I was soscared at first that I wanted to cry. But given the chance I would do itagain!
>>Describe the best time you’ve ever had sexually. I think the best time I have ever had was the time that I just men-
tioned in the last answer! 🙂
>>How are love and sex connected? I think that they are not connected, but if you love someone it makes
sex more enjoyable. Sex is simply physical pleasure. But if you lovesomeone then that passion comes through in the sex and makes it adeeper, more enjoyable experience.
>>How are sex and commitment related? Once again, I feel they are not connected. But if you are committed to
someone it is because you care about them or love them. And thatemotion will come through during sex and make it more enjoyable forboth parties. ThornDaddy
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>>How important is kink to you when choosing a partner? Do you
require kink in a long-term partner?
I am kinky to the point where I need a kinky partner for a long-term
relationship. They don’t need to be as kinky as me. I never havemonogamous relationships so I don’t need one partner to fulfill all ofmy needs. But I do need some amount of kink, even if it’s just smallthings. Plain old vanilla sex bores me to tears.
>>Would you look outside a happy vanilla relationship to satisfy your
kink needs? With or without your partner/s knowledge / approval?
No, and that is why I only have open relationships with kinky people. If
I tried to have a “normal” vanilla monogamous relationship I surelywould go crazy and need to leave the relationship before I ended upcheating. An open relationship with a vanilla person might work but Iwould really have to love them because the sex wouldn’t be all thatenjoyable for me. If they were perfect in every other way I would, but Iwould definitely need a toy or two to satisfy my needs.
To clarify: That paragraph was meant to be hypothetical as I haven’t
dated anyone “vanilla” since I was 16! 🙂 I am in an open relationshipnow, but neither partner is vanilla by any means.
>>How important are looks? Looks really don’t matter all that much to me. Of course, everyone
likes having someone nice to look at. But for me I have always foundthat people who are beautiful inside end up being beautiful outside tome once I really get to know them. My husband is a good example ofthat. He isn’t bad looking but not my type at all physically. We weregood friends for almost a year before dating, and over that year hebecame more and more attractive to me as I got to see the real him.
>>How important is good kissing?Good kissing isn’t all that important to me if the partner makes up for
it in other ways. It is also important that they don’t think they areamazing when in fact they aren’t and insist on making out all of thetime. Many people don’t really know and accept their strengths andweaknesses.
>>Describe good kissing. I think the best kissers focus entirely on you. They keep their eyesHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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closed and simply focus on you. Not overthinking it but still thinking
about what they are doing. I like one hand in my hair pulling ever soslightly, not so hard it causes pain, just a gentle tug. The other handaround the small of my back embracing me, holding me close to them.
>>How important is penis size? Penis size really don’t matter to me as long as guys who aren’t blessed
know it and try to make up for it. I dated a guy once who knew he wassmall, and also knew he couldn’t last very long. So he made it for it bybecoming extremely good at performing oral and would make meorgasm so many times before we actually got to intercourse I justwanted him to hurry up and get it over with before I passed out! It’s alla balance thing, and the best partners knows their strengths and weak-nesses.
>>How important is it to you that a man go down on you? Well, that all depends, based on my last answer in some cases it is
very important. There are other partners with whom I really didn’t needit at all. It really depends on the partner and how well they perform inother areas. There are men who don’t enjoy performing oral. And that’sOK, so long as I am satisfied with what they can and will do.
>>Do you go down on guys?Well, yes and no. I really prefer not to go down on men. That is relat-
ing to the sexual abuse I have already mentioned. It is a trigger forme. BUT that being said, I do have moments once in a while where Ienjoy it. I have only gone down on men that I trusted and loved. It’sone of those once in a blue moon things where I get so deep into sub-space that I only care about their needs to the extent that I want to godown on them. I’m not entirely sure why but when I’m at this place Ienjoy it.
>>How important is honesty and respect? They are extremely important to me. Lying is a complete deal breaker
for me. I absolutely don’t tolerate lying in any way shape or form. Noteven little white lies because they tend to snowball into bigger lies.Respect is also very important, I feel that everyone should be treatedwith respect until they give you a reason to not respect them. If I’mnot treated with respect, that is also a deal breaker.
>>Are you a feminist? Absolutely not! I am the exception to my generation! I was raised byThornDaddy
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my grandmother who is the very definition of a 1950s trophy wife. She
raised me to believe that a woman’s place is in the home. I get funnylooks from guys when they joke around about a woman’s place beingbarefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen; and I just smile and agree! Idon’t believe women should work, now if a single woman wants to workthat is entirely up to her. But I feel that “working moms” are a hugepart of the problems we have in society nowadays. Children aren’tbeing raised properly and therefore aren’t becoming productive mem-bers of society. Oh I’m going to rant on this topic so I will end this topicby saying that I am more chauvinist than more men I know!
>>Is it possible to be submissive to a man and still be a feminist? I can’t really answer that question as I am not a feminist, but I would
imagine that it is possible, just can’t speak from experience on thisone!
>>What do you think of “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
BDSM podcast from a happily married couple
http://www.askdollie.com
?
I absolutely love the podcast! I am a regular listener and totally love
what you guys are doing! I know a lot of the world doesn’t understandit. But I do and I will continue to support you guys so long as you arestill at it!
>>What advice do you have for men trying to meet women to fuck? Well, if you just want a fuck, that’s easy. Go to the bar and find drunk-
ish girls looking for a one-night stand. There are plenty at any bar yougo to, especially around closing time. Just be yourself and be honest. IfI go to the bar planning on getting laid and a guy I find attractive ishonest and tells me he’s looking for the same, I will usually fuck him.
Don’t try to pretend you want a relationship to go after the girls that
are looking for one! Just be honest and up front and you will get muchfurther than by playing games!
>>What advice do you have for men to fuck women better? Be open to new ideas, and to criticism! I know every guy wants to
think he is AMAZING in bed. But if you get honest feedback and youactually put your ego aside long enough to listen to her, you willbecome better. Rinse and repeat this and someday you will be amazing!Everyone is so different sexually that you need to have brutally honestconversations with your partner about sexual tastes and preferences.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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These conversations do no good if you aren’t truly listening and taking
that advice!
>>How important is a man’s scent to you?It really doesn’t matter all that much to me. I tend to not notice either
way. I do notice the smell of certain colognes if they’re too strong forme. I don’t like that. But other than that, I usually don’t notice. So forme, it’s not important at all.
>>What advice do you have for men trying to hold on to women? Be honest and open with her about everything. Don’t lie. Also, of
course, don’t tell all your deepest, darkest secrets on the first date. Butas she opens up to you, you need to do the same.
Great communication leads to great trust which leads to great sex.
That is the formula for a great relationship, as far as I’m concerned. Ifyou follow that it, won’t be very hard to have a great long-lasting rela-tionship.ThornDaddy
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Appendix 2
Interview with ThornDaddy and Dollie Llama
Dollie and I do a lot of interviews. This is the one we did that never
came out, as far as I know. But it’s a good one, so I’ll print it here. Itwas for a magazine that catered to fans of pro wrestling. Don’t knowwhy they wanted to talk to us, but they did.
Dollie Llama is a smart, kinky, submissive woman who wrote the
popular book Diary of an S&M Romance
http://www.smdiary.com
She and her master, ThornDaddy, also do a free weekly podcast
about the bondage life. It’s called “Submission and Coffee”www.askdollie.com (no iPod needed!)
Joseph: How did you and ThornDaddy meet?
Dollie: We met through a kink website, Bondage.com. Exchanged a few
e-mails, then telephone calls, and shortly thereafter met in person.Once we met, it was all over. He was, and is, exactly who I was hopingto find.
ThornDaddy: Bondage.com used to be the coolest kink community
website in the world, but was recently bought out by Alt.com…a site wedon’t much like. We’re waiting to see if Bondage.com goes down hilland starts to look and feel like Alt.com…though it doesn’t really mattermuch to us. We were only on there to find each other, and we did.
Joseph: How did you get into this lifestyle?
Dollie: In many ways, my submissive tendencies are just a natural part
of me, inherent in my personality. When I love someone, I want to nur-ture them, care for them, do for them. I’m much more comfortableserving than being served. And I also love excitement, adrenaline,endorphins, and I find that pain, mixed with pleasure, is the best rushever. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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I was exposed to kink pretty early in life, at 18, but didn’t really under-
stand it or feel a need to participate. Yet it didn’t turn me off either;I’ve always been very sexual, and guilt-free and open minded in myattitude about sex.
I married young, and not wisely, choosing a man who was not terribly
dominant. As our other problems grew and drove us apart, his lack ofassertiveness and dominance became increasingly irritating to me. Ieven recall one vicious argument during which I slapped him and toldhim to “BE A MAN!” Yet in all fairness, I didn’t yet really understandtrue dominance, or know how to ask him to be the man I needed himto be. (I’m not sure I even knew what “the man I needed” was at thatpoint in my life. But I did know it wasn’t him.)
After that marriage ended, I spent a long time living in my own head,
learning about me. I didn’t date, and was celibate. I worked. I raisedmy two children (now young adults and out of the nest).
Finally I was ready to re-enter society, and, typically for me, I did it
with a bang. I dated. Lots. I experimented with swinging. I engaged insex for sex’s sake. Finally I got involved with a man who one nightbrought out a deerskin flogger and asked if he could whip me. Iagreed. I loved it. I never looked back.
After that, I KNEW what I wanted. I entered into kink with wide-eyed
wonder, and the dedication of a scholar. There was a lot to choosefrom, and a lot to learn.
Joseph: What is the difference between S&M and BDSM?
ThornDaddy: In a very general way, they can be used interchangeably.
S&M is the “SM” in “BDSM.”
Dollie: S&M stands for sadism and masochism. BDSM is commonly
interpreted as “bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism”, althoughsometimes as “bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism,masochism.”
The literal translation is really not as important as recognizing that the
acronyms are shorthand for alternative, or kinky, sexual behaviors. Aswith anything sexual, there are no set parameters; it’s up to the partic-ipating individual to pick and choose what aspects suit them and theirpartner(s). The continuum is so wide and varied, saying BDSM meansonly one thing would be like walking into a fully stocked bar and sayingthe only thing to drink is a martini. ThornDaddy
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As I said, BDSM stands for many things. Not everyone into kink is into
all aspects of it. Pain, whether a desire to administer or experience it,is not universal. Neither is a need to serve or be served. Even sex, inany form, is not necessarily a component of kink. And as Daddy says,there are plenty of girls who like to be pushed around in bed, spanked,slapped, bitten and bruised, but if you told them to get you a glass ofwater when it’s over they’d tell you to go get it yourself. (Or even tellyou, “Go fuck yourself!”)
Perhaps the best generalized description of kink would be “power
exchange.” It’s up to the people involved to define the nature of thatexchange – strictly sexual, strictly service; pain, no pain; full-time orpart-time; humiliation and degradation or neither. A person doesn’teven have to consistently choose one side or the other – many folks“switch”, exerting dominance sometimes, offering submission at others.
Kink is a giant smorgasbord, and you only need take what you like.
Joseph: Why this lifestyle?
Dollie: Because it suits me, makes me feel at peace and fulfilled, and
kinky sex is simply better, in my opinion. Being Daddy’s slave answersa need deep in my being, and I believe my submission and serviceanswer a complementary need in His. And my brain just seems to bewired to find pleasure in pain, too. It’s who I am.
ThornDaddy: It comes natural for me to lead, to be in charge. And I
like whippin’ on ladies, and telling them how to dress for me. (Also, Ilove blowjobs and love to get them from my woman, on command,100% of the time, without question.)
Joseph: Why write a book and have a podcast about BDSM, and why do
you choose to have “live sex” on the podcast sometimes?
ThornDaddy and Dollie: Because we enjoy it! We do the podcast for something to do, it entertains us. And hell,
everyone needs a hobby. We record ourselves having sex because we’reunashamed exhibitionists.
Also, a lot of people write us and tell us they like it. We have about
1300 regular listeners, and we’ve actually made some friends throughthe cast. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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Sometimes we have sex on the podcast, sometimes we talk about the
BDSM life, sometimes we talk (hopefully in an entertaining way) aboutour cats, or shopping, or punk rock, or our jobs. This is partiallybecause we don’t want to be tied into just talking about sex (thatwould get boring, and this is the problem we have with most sex pod-casts-they’re only about sex). Also we like to show that we are normalpeople who just happen to have “non-normal” private habits. We like todebunk common misconceptions that non-kinky people sometimes haveabout kinky people.
We did the book because we feel there’s a lot of misinformation out
there about BDSM. Like in movies and on TV: the kinky person alwaysturns out to be the serial killer. That’s just not based on truth. Sure,there have been a few high-profile cases where psycho people havebeen into bondage, but it’s not true BDSM when you’re abducting, rap-ing and killing. True BDSM is always “Safe, sane and consensual”, andthat’s the only way we do it. We have an intensely loving relationshipthat also incorporates pain, domination, submission, and consensualslavery. Dollie is ThornDaddy’s slave, in the bedroom as well as in thekitchen, in life, in every way. We’re pretty normal in many ways. We’reaverage Americans. We’re workers, homeowners, taxpayers, (we filejointly – we’re legally married), and we have two cats. We’ve neverkilled anyone. We’ve never kidnapped anyone, not even in play.
BDSM is not a mental illness, and five to ten percent of the world is
into some form of it. (Source: Kinsey Institute, 1990.) BDSM is notuncommon, but it’s very misunderstood. We want to help overcomesome of the misconceptions, and there’s a long way to go.
S&M was medically classified as a symptom of mental illness until very
recently. The American Psychiatric Association stopped defining consen-sual S&M as a indicative of mental illness in the year 2000. (Theystopped defining homosexuality as a disease in 1973.)
Dollie: Not everyone into S&M is a scary person with a leather hood in
a dank dungeon, or a broken victim with no self-esteem. And noteveryone into it revolves their life around it. We do have a 24/7 rela-tionship, Master & slave full time, but you wouldn’t know it to see us onthe street or visit our home. We’re a goofy middle-aged suburban cou-ple who act like a couple of kids most of the time. We go on dates tothe movies, we take walks in the woods holding hands, we cuddle a lot,etc. But I’m available on call, 100% of the time, for sexual or house-hold service for Daddy, and Daddy can whip my ass any time he feelslike it, but we don’t really make a public show of it.
ThornDaddy: More on misunderstandings of BDSM: Pop culture often
adopts the trappings of BDSM, without understanding it, and often getsThornDaddy
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it wrong. VERY wrong. For instance, a lot of dominant, masculine men
(especially wrestlers, punk rockers and heavy metal singers) wear col-lars. This came directly from S&M culture (from gay biker S&M culture,if you want to be specific), and was adopted by people outside the cul-ture, as fashion.
Dollie: Yeah! In BDSM, wearing a collar means you’re someone’s bitch.
It means you’re the submissive, the one on your knees. It often evenmeans you are the owned property of someone (a collar can be almostlike a wedding ring in kink culture).
I’m sure those macho dudes wear collars because they think it makes
them look like an angry dog, but it doesn’t.
ThornDaddy: I wonder how many wrestlers and metal singers would
keep wearing collars if they knew that to 10% of the world, wearing acollar absolutely means “I am someone’s bitch, and I do my master’sbidding when told to, without questioning it.”
So yeah, we wrote the book “Diary of an S&M Romance” because we
feel there’s a lot of misinformation and we wanted to interject sometruth into a public discussion that is sorely lacking in truth.
Joseph: How long did it take you to write the book?
ThornDaddy: About a year. It started as homework assignments I gave
to Dollie. I only ever dated artists, and Dollie was not an artist, but shehad the makings of one. So I mentored her and made her into anartist, to better fit my plans and needs, and to give us something todo. Dollie’s name is on the book as author, but it was a collaborativeeffort. I’m a professional writer, that’s what I do for a living, and I havea lot of experience editing.
She and I have distinct minds and personalities, but sometimes write
together (for example: some parts of this interview). With many things,we pretty much think as one, share one brain. She is my submissive,but in a way, on a basic cellular humanistic level, I consider her myequal.
Joseph: Can the change to the S&M lifestyle be made overnight?
ThornDaddy and Dollie: Well, we are of the theory that people are
either born with a propensity towards BDSM, or they’re not. You can’tmake someone into it if they’re not, and you can’t “cure” someone whoHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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is. A lot of people probably have tendencies toward it, but don’t know
it, and might even be offended by the idea, because that’s what they’retaught.
ThornDaddy: Basically, if a woman likes being spanked in bed, once
she’s turned on, she’s probably wired for BDSM. How far she wants totake it is up to her. The bottom/slave/sub really does have the mosttrue power in a safe, sane consensual BDSM relationship…she (or he)negotiates things ahead of time with thetop/master/dom/mistress/domme, and determines the level it goes to,then lets the top do the hell out of it. Often there is a safeword, a wordthat means “stop”, and it has to be honored, ALL THE TIME, by the top.
(I must add that wife beating has nothing to do with BDSM, and I HATE
wife beaters. But from the outside, what we do might look like wifebeating to someone who doesn’t understand it. But the difference is,my wife ASKS me to whip her, and she loves it. And I never do any-thing that would require medical attention, and I would stop if she toldme it was going too far.)
But yeah, if someone’s really wired for kink, the beginnings of the
change can be made overnight. The first time I was with a kinky girl, itchanged me on the spot. I’d had years of sexual experience already,and was really good at it, even had a reputation as a “fucker ofwomen” (I was in a popular band at the time, and fucked a LOT ofwomen back then). But the first time a girl said “Slap me!” as I wasfucking her, and she TOTALLY dug it and came when I did, it altered myworld, instantly and permanently.
Not everyone’s into everything. People have boundaries, different likes
and dislikes and sometimes the boundaries change and evolve withtime. But they should be discussed BEFORE the play begins, and thetop MUST respect the bottom’s limits.
Joseph: Does it start and stop in the bedroom?
Dollie: Again, it’s different for different people…for some, yes. For us,
no. I am always Daddy’s slave, at home or away, in bed and out. Aboutthe only time I’m not strictly under His control, at His service, is whenI’m at work, and that’s just a matter of practicality rather than desire.We don’t have a need to shove our lifestyle in the world’s face, I don’tkneel for Him outside the house, we don’t dress in black leather andpurple capes. (I do, however, always wear a collar at home, and some-times when we go out.)
But I do as He says, try my best to anticipate and exceed all His needs,ThornDaddy
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and defer to Him in all things. This doesn’t mean I don’t have opinions,
independence, or a brain of my own, it just means I only offer thesethings when it suits Him. And, since Daddy is a wonderful, kind andloving Master, He values my contributions, and utilizes them.
Joseph: Where can people buy the book?
Dollie: Everywhere. Amazon,

Barnes & Nobel,
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&EA
N=9780970539250&itm=1
JT’s Stockroom, http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0970539258/
(The Stockroom is also a great place to buy bondage gear and toys.)
even WalMart,
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=5170927
There’s also a free excerpt of the book at http://www.smdiary.com
Joseph: What do you have to say to all the “Haters” out there? ThornDaddy and Dollie: Do you mean people who dismiss us because
we’re kinky? And people who think that bondage is sick and anyoneinto it is deranged? (Or even kinky people who think THEIR kink is theonly way and our way is somehow “wrong”?)
Well, in some ways, it’s more what we DON’T say. For the book, the
podcast and things like this interview, we use our Internet pseudo-nyms, “Dollie Llama” and “ThornDaddy”, rather than our real names.Our families and friends know what we do, but we like to keep our kinklife on a need-to-know basis. Using pseudonyms helps insulate our-selves from the weenies. (“Weenies” is our personal name for “haters.”)
When approached by someone who wants to argue, or worse, harm us
(yes, we’ve actually been threatened by strangers for being kinky andoutspoken about it), because they feel that what we do is “wrong”, wedo the Zen thing…the martial arts thing: We step out of their way andlet them use their own weight and power against themselves, to quicklyget them out of our way.
ThornDaddy: We are into educating, and living as loving examples of aHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
243

healthy BDSM lifestyle. So we really have no interest in arguing with
people. One thing I have learned about dominance is this: You cannotdominate the entire world. I used to want to do that when I wasyounger, now I’m learning that true dominance is all about only engag-ing in dominant relationships with people who are interested in playingin that way…whether it’s in sex, business or intellect.
I was a varsity wrestler in high school, and I was good. But I was an
angry guy, and tried to take that type of attitude outside the mat, andended up getting my ass kicked in the street. I could have ended up injail for fighting if I’d kept it up. Nowadays I only engage in any type ofdominance with people who want to play that way, in a positive way.When I’m in a situation where someone wants to “fuck with me” for mybeliefs or leanings, I sidestep them entirely. People like that want afight, and if you don’t give them one, they move on to someone whowill.
I structure my life in a way as to avoid as much of that as possible. I
work at home. I’m my own boss, and love it. I work 80 hours a week,at things I enjoy. I don’t go out on Saturday nights. I avoid drunk peo-ple and mean people. And when some weenie sends me an e-mailtelling me I’m fucked up because I’m into BDSM, I delete the e-mailwithout replying. Engaging people who send e-mails like that only putsme into a ring where no one can really “win.”
The most effective way for me to change the world to what I believe is
best, in anything, is through education and example. You can’t argueANYONE into ANYTHING.
Joseph: Thanks for taking the time to chat with the readers and share
so much personal information.
ThornDaddy and Dollie: Thanks for the interview, Joseph, and thanks
for listening. We had fun.
Interview copyright 2007 PEEP! Press. All rights, including reprint,
reserved.ThornDaddy
244

Appendix 3
Poly Dollie
Essay on Finding Joy in Polyamory
by Dollie Llama
So yeah…I’m lovin’ life these days, feeling pretty damn contented, and
I supposed I want to crow about it a bit here.
You see, I’ve finally found my peace and joy in poly, and it’s simply
blowing my mind.
It hasn’t been easy for me. And consequently, it hasn’t been as easy
for Daddy as I would wish it to be. I’ve spent many hours staring intothe darkness, ashamed and distraught, praying I could be at ease,could will away my insecurities, and do as I promised Daddy from thevery start. At times it’s torn at both our hearts and serenity – not thekind of thing I, as a slave, want to bring to the table.
So many factors have created challenges for me: fears, habitual view-
points, even the deep and abiding love and adoration I have for Daddyhave contributed to my dilemma. I feared I wasn’t worthy, I feared Iwas no longer young and attractive, I feared I would be replaced. Ieven feared my fears. Little irritating voices kept poking into my head,telling me that poly wasn’t the way it was “meant to be.” I fearedDaddy’s disappointment and growing aggravation with my issues. Ifeared I’d lose Daddy because I couldn’t get past my fear of losing him. How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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And losing Daddy would be like losing the air I breathe and the water I
drink.
Those of you who know a bit of my history know I’ve been an informal
part of a poly group, before I met Daddy. Not as the alpha sub, but asa treasured addition. I never felt I posed a challenge to the primary; itwas never my intention, I knew my place coming in, and never wantedit to be more, or less, than it was.
Before that, I was a couple’s play toy, and loved it. We were chummy,
happy, and had great sex. I was very fond of both people, but neverfelt my heart was more than casually, yet contentedly, involved.
Why then, did I have such absurd issues and fears when poly came up
and I was Daddy’s beloved primary? Some of it, I know, is because,now, leaving would come at too high a cost. Previously, as an additionto someone else’s relationship, I could come and go as I pleased. Iwasn’t looking for love, and so had no worries whether or not love wasreturned.
From the inception of my life with Daddy, I had known, and openly,
freely agreed, that other women would be brought in to play with us.Daddy told me he wasn’t looking to create a triad, wasn’t looking forlove in addition to mine, but that he needed to have more than onewoman in his bed now and then. Daddy told me I was special, I was hislove, and I had nothing to fear, except losing Daddy.
I trust Daddy so completely in all other aspects of life, why did I strug-
gle so with this?
It wasn’t Daddy I didn’t trust. It was me, and it was the other women.
I love Daddy so intensely, I had trouble believing that anyone elsewould be less susceptible to his many charms, and so would seek tograb him all for themselves. Combined with my life-long insecuritiesabout my own value and desirability, this toxic mix was killing me. Andmy resulting melpiness and worry was making Daddy miserable andcranky.
Some of this was aggravated by the round robin of play girls who came
through our bed. I’d get past the worry, and get into the excitement, ofsex with a new person. Daddy would flirt, I’d get in on the flirting a bit,and be psyched to go, and then BAM! She’d show up, we’d start, andall I could see were the things that had attracted Daddy (and me) toher to begin with, see Daddy enjoying himself, and all the fear andworry would rush back in. Would this be the woman who had noThornDaddy
246

respect for our love, would try to insinuate herself into his heart, push
me aside? Was she prettier, sexier, smarter, more creative than I? WhoWAS this female creature in our bed? It made me crazy!
To be absolutely clear and fair: Daddy did NOTHING to add to my fears.
In front of the play girls, he sweetly expressed his love for me, was upfront about their place as a play toy, told me I was beautiful to him,and his soul mate. He was honest with me, and caring.
Another thing: good play girls are hard to find, and even harder to
keep. Of all the women we’ve played with, all but three have visitedonce, and once only. And since they’ve not returned, it’s guessing onmy part as to why they didn’t. Some of it might be the depth andbreadth of Daddy’s and my love for each other (friends say we givethem cavities). It might be that some of the women were just a littlebit broken, and didn’t want any kind of involvement with anyone, andjust wanted to get fucked. Maybe we weren’t all they were hoping forwhen they signed up. Some were very into Daddy, but just toleratedme (and so really fed my fears). Another was very into me, but waslukewarm about Daddy (and that isn’t going to float Daddy’s boat forlong – he needs, and deserves, to be the center of attention). Whoknows? But, since I never got to know them well, develop any sense ofthem as individuals, my trust never grew as it needed to for it all towork out.
And some of them, once I met them, I just didn’t like. You know, those
people that make the little hairs on the back of your neck stand up andmake you want to scratch at them like an angry kitty.
And truly, I really LIKE sex with girls, love the dirty sweetness of it,
and WANTED to be Daddy’s good girl about all of it. But I just couldn’tfind the combination that would allow me to be that good girl.
Enter the pet. (Yay.) the pet came into our lives not as a play girl, but as a fan of the pod-
cast who lived close enough to the Nest to be willing and able to comeover to do some housebotting when I was expected to be laid up aftersurgery. In my view, this, in and of itself, shows she’s a big-heartedgirl, and an all-around good person. Altruism is rare and precious, anda simply wonderful quality in a submissive, I think. the pet joining us inour bed grew organically and naturally from our first interaction. I hadless initial trepidation with her than I did with any other playdoll…evenwhen I was a bit broken physically, and not able to be at my very best.
And I REALLY like her. She’s the kind of woman I would be drawn to inHow to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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friendship, which is a very rare thing indeed. Before Daddy, I tended
toward friendships with men, and the few girlfriends I do have are veryspecial people, the pet more so than any. the pet and I hang out andtalk girl talk when she’s here and Daddy’s busy, and I cherish our timesto giggle, chat and bond.
Daddy likes her too, a lot. This was a bit hard for me at first, it made
the old fears and insecurities rise, but the saner, more reasonable sideof my brain managed to hold sway and point out, repeatedly, all thegood things (so many!) about her.
But the final turning point, what pushed me into the comfort, happiness
and just plain overwhelming enthusiasm I wanted so desperately, camebecause we have now been together as a group enough times that Ifeel I know her, I trust her, and trust that she has only good intentionsconcerning us. This is MY hurdle, my issue that had to resolve. the pethas NEVER done anything to make me feel uncomfortable, or threat-ened. Neither has Daddy. We’ve talked about our relationship, Daddyand I, pet and I, and all three of us together, and I feel safe and securein how everyone feels, and what everyone wants.
Let me add here that I know, logically, that life comes with no guaran-
tees. That what we have today could very well not be here tomorrow.But I also know that living in fear of what might not last will rot anygoodness there might be. In anything.
I want our happy little group to go on and on. Daddy is my life and
soul, and I adore playing and cuddling and hanging out with the pet. Iknow Daddy is happier with me at peace, and I’m happier with himhappy AND me at peace. Last report, the pet was pretty content withthe situation too.
the pet once commented to Daddy and I that “Most little girls’ princess
dreams of living happily ever after someday don’t involve three people.”As Daddy once sang “There is no promise of a future in the moment”,but we’re taking things one day at a time, and the pet still seems veryelated to come back each time. And we don’t just fuck. We watchmovies with her, chat, go for walks, go on dates, and more, all mixed inwith more sex in a weekend than most people probably have in half ayear.
I’m not sure what it all means, neither is the pet or Daddy, but we’re
all comfortable and happy. And this is the first time Daddy and I haveshared our bed with another woman that I’m not only not just puttingup with, but actually looking forward to pet each visit.
If I have a point I suppose it’s this: trust is key, communication breedsThornDaddy
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trust, and none of it comes overnight. I put my trust in Daddy and in
the process, and it worked.
And thank you, pet. You’re a godsend and a sweetie. Mew you! Thank you, Daddy. You are my shining light and my shining knight, and
I can only thrive and bloom under your firm and tender care.
Once again, I am grateful, and humbled, to be such a lucky bitch.How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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APPENDIX 4
Kink and Sex Educational Resources and Sites
So…this book you’ve just finished is but one man’s vision. If you’re
interested in this journey of BDSM love, you should probably learn asmuch as possible, to help you craft your own unique view and practice.Here’s a few places to start.
Kink, D/s, BDSM, etc., can cover a huge amount of ground, and is dif-
ferent for everyone. If you’re new to this stuff, or even just curious, werecommend you learn as much as you can.
In addition to our own podcast, “SUBMISSION AND COFFEE”,
http://www.AskDollie.com and our blog, http://www.ThornDaddy.com
we recommend (and were helped ourselves) by the following resources
for safe, sane, and healthy BDSM practices between consenting adults.
WEB RESOURCES:
Wikipedia article on BDSM (great place to start)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM
(That page also has a link to the “Spoken Wikipedia” recording we didof Dollie reading the article.)
Acid Test For Doms (written for subs, but has great info for anyone for
safer dating)
http://www.askdollie.com/acid_test.htm
BDSM U (Covers basic concepts, education and terms. Is onBondage.com, but you don’t have to join to read. Dollie andThornDaddy met on Bondage.com, a long time ago, but the site hasgone way downhill since Penthouse bought it out, and we don’t recom-mend becoming a member.)
http://bondage.com/CatID/47/ID/133/faq/article.html
And just for fun, http://www.StuffOnMySlave.com , a site I run. Send
in pix of stuff on your slave!
FRIENDLY FREE KINKY WEB COMMUNITIES WE LIKE:
MyDungeonSpace.com (community and forum)
http://mydungeonspace.com/
Triskelion Society (community and forum) http://triskelionsociety.com/How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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CollarMe.com http://www.collarme.com/
LISTS OF LOCAL BDSM ORGANIZATIONS
USA http://www.darkheart.com/usalist.html
Canada http://tinyurl.com/6hs2rw
Europe http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_BDSM_organizations
TOYS:The Stockroom
http://www.stockroom.com/
Extreme Restraints http://www.extremerestraints.com/
LovePotions.com (lube) http://www.lovepotions.com/
(And don’t forget the endless possibilities to be found at your localhome improvement center or pet/equestrian supplier!)
BOOKS WE LIKE:
SM 101
http://www.amazon.com/101-Realistic-Introduction-Jay-
Wiseman/dp/0963976389/
The Loving Dominant http://www.amazon.com/New-Improved-Loving-
Dominant/dp/1890159727/
The Ethical Slut http://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Infinite-Sexual-
Possibilities/dp/1890159018
And of course, Dollie’s book, Diary of an S&M Romance
http://www.amazon.com/gp/prod –
uct/0970539258/ThornDaddy
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Listen and be a fly on our wall!
a kitty in the corner of our room!
NEED A PURPOSE IN LIFE? WANT TO HELP
WITH OUR WORLD-CHANGING CAUSE?
You don’t need to wear a white robe and camp outsideour doorstep just to join our little world. (Though thatmight work, if you’re female and submissive. Let us knowif you have an interest in this.)
But what we really need is many more smart folks who
can do assorted computer tasks, ranging fromproofreading to audio editing to sharing archived zips ofour casts on BitTorrent; to propagating, mirroring,promoting and archiving our media, forever; to being oneof our part-time on-tap slave girls.
If you want to get involved, and you possess general
and/or specialized talents that wecan utilize in our plans for world domination spreading
the love, you may
petition ThornDaddy via
e-mail from the blog:
www.thorndaddy.com
Also check out our free kinky culty cat comedy Podiobook,The Plump Buffet ”
http://www.podiobooks.com/title/the-plump-buffet/How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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ThornDaddy
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“Squittens in the Internest”
photos by Dollie Llama.
L to R: Fuzzbucket McFluffernutter, Charlie Squitten Jr,

How to Fuck a Woman’s Brains Out
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“Oh blessed pod, deliver unto thee….”
(This book’s Quark and TIFF files on the ThornDaddy
Foundation’s favorite sacred USB drive, about to go to theprinter and begin its journey to becoming an endlesssanctified worldwide grove of mighty oaks.)