17Julie_2019_printdigital.indd [304216]
[anonimizat]. [anonimizat]. New inner traits can be developed beyond existing skills through a smarter usage of otherwise ignored resources.[anonimizat] a state of highly charismatic leadership.
ABOUT INITIATIVE
The Inner Alchemist Initiative is a [anonimizat], and effective leadership.We conducts thought leadership research and promotes next practices designed to improve leaders ability to execute on strategic initiatives.
Copyright 2019, Published by Inspire All rights reserved
Printed in Romania ISBN 978-973-0-29971-7.
[anonimizat] a [anonimizat], [anonimizat] (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior permission of the publisher. Requests for permission should be directed to @ioanajigau through email [anonimizat]
National Library of Romania
METASKILLS OF HIGHLY CHARISMATIC LEADERS / [anonimizat].
ISBN 978-973-0-29971-7. (hardcover: alk. paper)
The Case For Intelligent Integration of Superior Intimacy in Leadership
METASKILLS OF
HIGHLY CHARISMATIC LEADERS
HOW A [anonimizat], Longevity, And Enlightenment Would It Work For Leadership Development?
George Vascan & Ioana Jigău
PREFACE
What’s a meta-skill? A meta-skill is essentially a higher-[anonimizat], and empowers other skills to happen.They are the essential foundation on which you are able to engage with new skills development in a very effective way.
The book you have in your hand is part of something bigger. Much bigger. It is part of a [anonimizat], and intriguing issues facing global leaders: erotic intimacy integration in leadership effectiveness. It builds a [anonimizat], vitality, and power
Our work at Inner Alchemist Initiative is focused. First, [anonimizat].We facilitate the sharing and advancement of ideas through networking and capability building.
And, [anonimizat].
[anonimizat]. It was a [anonimizat] a [anonimizat].
[anonimizat], and learned from the work of world’s leading thinkers and we want to thank them.We believe the end result is a starting point as unique as it is compelling.
The book is part of a continuous journey.We invite you to join us!
DISCLAIMER
The information provided in this book is designed to provide helpful information on the subjects discussed.This book is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose or treat any medical condition. For diagnosis or treatment of any medical problem, consult your own physician.The publisher and author are not responsible for any specific health or allergy needs that may require medical supervision and are not liable for any damages or negative consequences from any treatment, action, application or preparation, to any person reading or following the information in this book. References are provided for informational purposes only and do not constitute endorsement of any websites or other sources. Readers should be aware that the websites listed in this book may change.
”O Parvati! What is there in this world that cannot be attained by one who has achieved total preservation of his/her sexual fluid?“
– Divine Inspiration:The Secret of Eternal Youth
"Leadership is lifting a person's vision to high sights, the raising of a person's performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations." – Peter Drucker
“ The vital energy virya, that supports life is the prana of pranas, which shines in sparkling eyes, which beams in shining cheeks, is a great treasure for a human being." – Swami Shivananda
"The truth is that major capacities and competencies of leadership can be learned and we are all educable, at least if the basic desire to learn is there." – Warren Bennis
TABLE OF CONTENTS
The book is divided into five sections:
Part One – a summary of essential aspects of the model,
Part Two – presenting the importance of love in leadership progress,
Part Three – introducing the concept of Superior Intimacy in couple relationship,
Part Four – re-interpreting intimacy and how to extract exceptional value out of these formidable experiences,
Part Five – the last section offers an outlook on Erotic Continence.
Finally, we provide rich annexes to help build understanding into "the making of" the Superior Intimacy model.
Final Insights
Index
Annexes
A,B,C,D, E
Part V – Erotic Continence: The Key
Introduction -Transforming Perspectives
Part IV – Superior Intimacy: What’s in It for a Leader?
Part I: The Missing Piece in Leadership
Development
Part II: Love Centred Approach to Leadership
Development
Part III – Understanding Leadership with New Lenses
INTRODUCTION
4 Preface
6 Content
9 Transforming Perspectives
15 Summary of the Concept
18 Insights about Love
PART ONE
23The Missing Piece
Superior Intimacy
Foreword – Our Research – Our Study
32 A Complex Taboo as an Exceptional Opportunity
39 Essential Aspects
62 Challenging Conventional Thinking
64 Do You Have a Breakthrough idea? Beware Dogma – it has always been strong!
69 Diving Into the Spiritual Knowledge of India
73 The Hidden Core Competence of a Charismatic Leader
77 Leadership from the Heart
81 Utilized for Power,Vitality, and Longevity,Would it Work for Leadership Development?
84 Why Inner Energy matters?
88 Key Learning Points
Practical Technique
PART TWO
A Love Centred Approach to Leadership Development
Why Being Happy at Home Matters a lot
97 Your Spouse Is the Secret to Success
101 The Role of Positive Emotions in Leadership
108 Leadership and Couple Intimacy – Are They Connected?
114 20 Practical Advices for Happy Couple Relationships
126 Practical Technique
128 Key Learning Points
PART THREE
Understanding Leadership with new lenses
The Metaskills for Intelligent Leaders
138 Good Sleep Impacts our Mental Capacities. So what?
142 A Leadership Topic You Don`t Find in B Schools
149 Leadership Can Be Developed through Attentive, Systematic
and Persevering Practice
153 The Impact of a Regular Erotic Activity
156 Pineal Gland – The Mysterious Key to a Meaningful Life
166A Discipline for Decision Making Process
170 Practical Technique
172 Key Learning Points
NSPIRE
PART FOUR
174 Superior Intimacy: What’s in it for a Leader?
176 Leadership Vitality Should Be a Top Priority
179 Developing Self- Control
189 Developing Creativity
196 More on Inner Energy
198 Superior Intimate Experiences as a Catalyst
207 Essential Benefits of
Superior Intimacy
213 Biological Transmutations : Historical Perspective
228 Practical Technique
230 Key Learning Points
PART FIVE
Erotic Continence:The Key
Making Erotic Continence a Field of Science
237 If Mindfulness Improves Strategy Formulation….?
241 Erotic Continence – The Pivotal Habit
251 Be Intelligent, Preserve your Semen
260 Indian Story on Semen (Scientific View)
269 Erotic Continence:The Defining Characteristic of Great Leaders
275 Preliminary Insights
277 Reverse Aging
280 Q&A
314 A Practical Technique
316 Key Learning Points 322 Annex A – Glossary 332 Annex B – Notes
336 Annex C – Great Moments 340 Annex D – Other Benefits 342 Annex E – 100 Insights
356 Final Insights
358 Acknowledgements
360 Index
"These positive emotions broaden an individual’s momentary thought-action repertoire: joy sparks the urge to play, interest sparks the urge to explore, contentment sparks the urge to savour and integrate, and love sparks a recurring cycle of each of these urges within safe, close relationships.”
– Barbara Fredrickson, Broaden-and -Build, 2004
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."- C.G.Jung
Positive emotions are linked to numerous benefits in relationships, in one’s health and well-being, and in the workplace. It facilitates more effective leadership and increasing job satisfaction.
Fig. 1 Erotic Energy transformation and circulation (sublimation) is an old/new paradigm. Freud considered sublimation a sign of maturity that allows people to behave in superior ways.Jung on the process:"Sublimation
NSPIRE
INTRODUCTION
Transforming Perspectives
The practice to open our minds, to broaden and expand our awareness, to facilitate the building and development of resources, including knowledge, skills, abilities, and relationships.
NSPIRE
@2019 George Vascan & Ioana Jigău
Charismatic leaders all over the world unleash astonishing potential first in themselves, then in their people and in their organizations by having the right energy, creating trust, delivering transformations, and inspiring the focus that underpins innovation and creates conditions for real engagement.
This book will give you deep insight into the nature of a Superior Intimacy model and constitutes preliminary readings for our program participants (Inner Alchemist Leadership and Exponential Happiness). From a very practical point of view, it is a collection of articles written by us in the last 3 years since we started to present the model in organizations.
Certainly you’ve noticed that this is not a typical leadership or management book. We designed it to convey the essentials of what you need to know, quickly, simply, and in a visual format.
Key essential aspects are presented in drawings and the content is complemented with articles and real stories from which you can extract insights and which you can use immediately.
Rather than writing a conventional book about leadership, we’ve tried to design a practical guide for visionaries, rebels, and dogma-challengers eager to reinvent their life in all their aspects including their couple relationship and personal leadership in simultaneity.
Superior Intimacy is a practical methodology that maps, bridges, and integrates intimate experiences in opposite-sex couple relationships with accelerated leadership progress and also with happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, vitality, health, and power.
We argue here that erotic intimacy (integrated appropriately) in a loving couple relationship is a practical catapult for personal flourishment as well as for new traits development, for both lovers.
The Superior Intimacy model is not new. When the Yellow Emperor, the founder of the Chinese culture explored the practice in ancient China, he was practicing the model we present here. The same goes later in other communities in India, Egypt or other parts of the world, when such a complex
taboo was seen as part of life and not excluded or hidden from a fulfilling life. The scale and speed at which this practice can transform people today is yet to be more investigated. For entrepreneurs, executives, consultants, and academics, it is an intriguing opportunity to practice and discover new insights.
Ultimately, this is about creating and capturing high inner value, for couples, personal leadership, and society at large. Behind the steps of Superior Intimacy are not only the esoteric traditions of humanity, but also a growing body of rigorous scientific evidences, some of them explored here.
However, in the recent years scientists have made extraordinary progress in understanding romantic love, positive emotions, intimacy, and happiness. This material focuses on several lines of research from world-class scientists offering an integrated perspective and even a breakthrough.
And yes, you are right to be skeptical. The challenge is enormous and still we invite you to explore the book with an open-minded attitude, a strong dose of realism and, why not, with willingness to put in practice this easy-to engage model.
As an engineer and as a couple therapist, our emphasis has always been on clinical results, facts, evidences, and peer reviewed papers.
Understanding how intimacy impacts leadership performance is not an easy task; it's not only a taboo but also a risky subject to explore.The goal is to achieve happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, and to learn how self-directed neuroplasticity and epigenetics can accelerate the process of new inner traits development.
We believe that more research is required as this long neglected, sensitive, hidden, and avoided topic has multiple opportunities to offer (not only for leaders), once it is explored and treated in an intelligent manner.
We have made the best effort to verify the correctness of the available scientific evidences and to trace copyright holders. We will be glad to rectify in the future editions any errors or omissions brought to our attention.
alchemistleader.com
WE DON'T REINVENT THE WHEEL
Smart Usage of Erotic Energy – A practice known for ages
Tantric Tradition Spiritual Enlightenment
Taoist Tradition Power, Longevity, Vitality, Health Muslim Tradition Power, Longevity, Vitality, Health Carmelites Order Power, Vitality, Resistance, Courage Actors/Musicians Creativity, Charisma,Vitality,
Health, Pleasure, Work-Life Integration
Athletes/Creative Power, Vitality, Resilience, Energy
Creativity, Healing
Science has concluded that our pleasure pathway plays a much greater role in our lives than just the survival of the species. It is now believed that the reward system has to be sufficiently stimulated as often as daily, if we are to feel, function, and perform to our maximum potential.
Staying erotically active has its own set of rewards due to the many benefits captured from one activity. Recent studies have shown that frequent erotic intimate experiences, at least 100 per year, can increase life expectancy by 3 to 8 years.
New research suggests that maintaining a healthy erotic intimate life at home boosts employee's job satisfaction and engagement at the office. Oregon State University researchers believe their findings emphasize the value of a strong work-life integration.
In the study of work and erotic habits of married employees, investigators found that those who prioritized erotic intimacy at home unknowingly gave themselves a next-day advantage at work. Scientists discovered a “day after” effect, where individuals were more likely to immerse themselves in their tasks and enjoy their work lives.
“We make jokes about people having a ‘spring in their step,’ but it turns out this is actually a real thing and we should pay attention to it,” said Keith Leavitt, PhD, an expert in organizational behavior and management. Couple therapist, best-seller author and speaker Esther Perrel says:
"Eroticism is a key ingredient of life – and it's more than just a description of sexuality. It is about how people connect to this quality of aliveness, of vibrancy, of vitality, of renewal. It is actually a spiritual, mystical experience of life."
MAN AND WOMAN
Victor Hugo
Man is the most elevated of creatures, woman the most sublime of ideals. God made for man a throne; for the woman, an altar. The throne exalts, the altar sanctifies.
Man is the brain, woman, the heart. The brain creates light, the heart, Love. Light engenders, Love resurrects. Because of reason man is strong, because of tears woman is invincible. Reason is convincing, tears moving.
Man is capable of all heroism, woman of all martyrdom. Heroism ennobles, martyrdom sublimates. Man has supremacy, woman, preference. Supremacy is strength, preference is the right.
Man is a genius, woman an angel. Genius is immeasurable, the angel undefinable. The aspiration of man is supreme glory. The aspiration of woman is extreme virtue. Glory creates all that is great; virtue, all that is divine.
Man is a code, woman a gospel. A code corrects, the gospel perfects. Man thinks, woman dreams. To think is to have a worm in the brain, to dream is to have a halo on the brow.
Man is an ocean, woman a lake. The ocean has the adorning pearl, the lake, dazzling poetry. Man is the flying eagle, woman, the singing nightingale. To fly is to conquer space. To sing is to conquer the Soul.
Man is a temple, woman a shrine. Before the temple, we discover ourselves, before the shrine we kneel. In short, man is found where earth finishes, woman where heaven begins.
SETTING THE STAGE
“The scientists of old have put great value upon the vital fluid and they have insisted upon its strong transmutation into the highest form of energy for the benefit of society.”
– PhD Sandra LaMorgese
“People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense."- Ken Kesey
“Absorbed sex becomes a tremendous force inside you.A Buddha, a Tilopa, have a magnetic force around them.What is it? Sex that has been absorbed. Sex is human magnetism.”- Osho
“Share love, give love, spread love. Measure, measure your life in love. Nothing else makes sense.”
– Jonathan Larson
“Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense."
– E. E. Cummings
“Stages of love in brain and brain chemistry explain behavior.The brain can be remodelled through practice to change.Awareness and practice are essential keys." – PhD Marc Millstein
“Intimacy is like air; it’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.” –
Anonymous
“The history of science is rich in the example of the fruitfulness of bringing two sets of techniques, two sets of ideas, developed in separate contexts for the pursuit of new truth, into touch with one another." – J. Robert Oppenheimer
“The smartest people are constantly revising their understanding, reconsidering a problem they thought they’d already solved.
They’re open to new points of view, new information, new ideas, contradictions, and challenges to their own way of thinking.” – Jeff Bezos, Founder and CEO Amazon
"My father was erotically active with his wife at 87 years old without any pills whatsoever. I guess you don't need a sophisticated Stanford study to accept that Erotic Continence really works." – Research Participant, Interview statement
THE QUESTIONS
Are you a charismatic leader? yes……..no….
Are you constantly thinking about how to achieve work-life integration, to be happy, fulfiled, and highly energetic?
yes……..no….
Are you trying to find innovative ways for becoming more charismatic, more creative and more empathic?
yes……..no….
If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions, welcome to practitioners group!
You're reading a handbook for VISIONARIES, BOLD THINKERS, and DOGMA CHALLENGERS striving to defy outmoded leadership models and develop charismatic leadership. It's a book for leadership reinvention.
SUMMARY OF THE CONCEPT
Erotic desire is generally defined as a subjective psychological experience that includes interest in erotic intimacy activities (Regan & Berscheid, 1999) or as a wish or need to engage in erotic activities (Bancroft, 1988; Kaplan, 1995).
Researchers have written that erotic desire can be thought of as an emotional response system (Levine, 1995) and may be more specifically examined in terms of positive emotions (Everaerd & Laan, 2001; DeLamater, 1991; Everaerd, 1988; ).
While the study of emotional aspects of erotic desire has focused predominately on dampening effects of negative
emotions, such as anger and anxiety;, (van den Hout & Barlow, 2000; Beck, Bozman, & Qualtrough, 1991; Kaplan, 1995; Barlow, 1986;) several research models suggest that positive affect (which includes positive emotions) are likely to enhance women’s desire to attend to erotic intimacy matters (Laan & Everaerd, 1995; Laan, Everaerd, van Bellan, & Hanewald, 1994; Mehrabian & Stanton-Mohr, 1985).
These streams of research point toward the possibility that positive emotions may be linked to erotic desire in a linear way.
Fig.2 From intense positive emotions in your happy couple relationship to new leadership traits
SUPERIOR INTIMACY MAP
Conscious heart coherence with the other
Entering/remaining in the flow
LOVE
Seeing and nurturing potential/talent in the other; unconditional positive regard
INTEGRATION
SUPERIOR INTIMACY
TRANSFIGURATION
Capturing, circulating, and modulating high inner energy
COMPLETE EROTIC CONTINENCE
DIGNITY
Think, act, and behave with a moral compass; see/respect/appreciate the inherent value in the other
Fig.3 The 5 pillars of the Superior Intimacy model and the supporting factors
4STEPS CANVAS
The process of full control of erotic energy in an intimate 1 experience without discharge
The process of net 2
energy gain
The process of changing the
4 parameters of the energy directed
3 The process of directing the inner energy
Fig.4 The process flow of Erotic Continence. Step 2 is 'either or'.
Def_Superior Intimacy:
The practical framework of how profound, intense, and plenary inner states drive lasting altered traits in an opposite-sex couple relationship.
Def_Erotic Continence:
Self Awareness + Self Control during an erotic intimate experience.
Fig.5 5Pillars map and 4steps canvas
”Love is our supreme emotion.“
Barbara Fredrickson, Professor University of North Carolina at Chapel – Hill
Practice not until you get it right. Practice until you can’t get it wrong.
”Love is a powerful source of competitive advantage.“
Michael Lee Stallard, Author of Connection Culture:The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy
Today's countless leadership models are emerging. Entirely new ideas are forming as old ones prove ineffective, while new contexts require new models. New models are challenging the old ones, some of whom are struggling to reinvent themselves.
How do you imagine your leadership might look 2, 5, or 10 years from now? Will you be happy, satisfied, energetic, and meaningful? Will you be able to face new contexts and the associated accelerated change?
Pleasure has to be consciously experienced, controlled, transformed, and not consumed.
Leadership Excellency
Since emotions are chemical end product of our inner experiences in our environment, when we embrace intense, profound, and elevated emotion’s, we not only raise body’s energy but also start to signal new genes in new ways, ahead of the environment.
CHAMPION
DOGMA CHALLENGER
DOGMA FOLLOWER
Time
Fig.6 The path of visionaries, bold thinkers, and dogma challengers
INSIGHTS ABOUT LOVE
Love is the ‘must- do’, and "must-have" ingredient for a meaningful life.
Love is a clear-cut starting point for practicing the Superior Intimacy model.
MOST ENRICHING EXPERIENCE
that grows and unleash inner potential in a sustainable way. Conscious love creates true knowledge a valuable resource that enriches all your life.
THE SUPREME POSITIVE EMOTION
OF A HUMAN BEING THAT UNLEASHES ALL THE OTHER POSITIVE EMOTIONS IN AN OPEN, LEARNABLE, AND CREATIVE HUMAN BEING.
AN ENERGY THAT EXISTS
either we know or we don’t know, either we accept or we don’t accept, either we experienced or we don’t
experienced.
AN INNER STATE
that cannot be forced but can be experienced and manifested. Love is real life, inner real growth, real learning, real happiness. The best
mirror, the best catalyst, and the best antidote for an egoistic personality.
ACCELERATED TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE
The fundamental ingredient for accelerated transformational change that not only creates happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, and meaning but also develops new inner traits.
BUILDING, GROWING, LEARNING, DEVELOPING, ASCENDING, ELEVATING
your inner microcosm, relationship, productivity, career, and life.
CREATES A RADICAL IMPROVED
PERSPECTIVE
Maintains, destroys, and reabsorbs all then it repeats that again and again. It is you that have to choose to experience and manifest love and not the vice-versa.
DYNAMIC INNER RESONANCE THAT GROWS
joy, expansion, care, support, openness, understanding, dedication, trust, devotion, motivation, creativity, meaning, energy, heart, and brain coherence.
THE FUNDAMENTAL BASE THAT CREATES CONDITIONS FOR FAST, EFFICIENT, AND PLEASANT GROWTH
HARMONIOUS INNER GROWTH
It has development phases that requires adequate behaviors to keep
the momentum.
It contains many treasury ingredients which are
RESPONSIBLE FOR
living longer, feeling energetic, being full of life, creative, happy, productive, and even intelligent.
Correlated with heart organ, in relation with timus gland
IT IS EXPERIENCED AT THE CHEST LEVEL FIRST
influences our decision making, our choices, our thoughts,
our behaviors, our moods, our everything.
ACTIONABLE RADICAL CREATIVITY NON- COMPETING BREAKTHROUGH INTENTIONAL EXPERIENCING LEARNABLE DOABLE
AN IMPORTANT TRAIT FOR
SELF- ACTUALIZATION
and a meaningful life. Do you live accordingly? Developed, nurtured, sustained, and rejuvenated by
SPECIFIC
INNER ATTITUDES, APPROPRIATE BELIEFS, AND SMART BEHAVIORS.
“Intimacy-desire paradox does not hold true under certain circumstances.”- PhD Gurit E Birnbaum
“Do not go by oral tradition, by lineage of teaching, by hearsay, by a collection of texts, by logic, by inferential reasoning, by reasoned cognition, by the acceptance of a view after pondering it, by the seeming competence of a speaker, or because you think: <this . . . is our teacher.>
But when you know for yourselves, 'these things are wholesome, these things are blameless; these things are praised by the wise; these things, if undertaken and practiced,lead to welfare and happiness,' then you should engage in them."
Buddha
Fig. 7 In Freud’s view sublimation is the process of transforming libido into "socially useful" (non-erotic) achievements, re-channelling or re-directing its drives which cannot find an outlet into acceptable forms of expression, such as art or other form of creativity.
“Of the delights of this world, man cares most for erotic intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.”
Mark Twain (1835–1910)
PART ONE
The Missing Piece in Leadership Development
“Ideas shape the course of history."
John Keynes
NSPIRE
SUPERIOR INTIMACY
“Through profound, plenary and lasting awakening of the androgynous state, the man awakens within himself the inner woman and the woman awakens within herself the inner man.”
Advanced Practitioner of Superior Intimacy
The starting point for any good discussion, meeting, or workshop on erotic intimacy should be a shared understanding of what erotic intimacy actually is. We need a picture of this sensitive concept that everybody understands: one that facilitates description and discussion.
We need to start from the same point and talk about the same thing. The challenge is that the concept must be simple, relevant, and intuitively understandable, while not oversimplifying the complexities of how intimacy in a couple relationship function.
The golden age of humanity is ahead of us. In our days if we visit a bookstore or go online we will find a large selection of printed stuff exploring the role of leadership in work, relationships, effectiveness, strategy execution, sustainable profitable growth and more. Emotion scientists, neuroscientists, psychologists, former or actual leaders, consultants, business school’s professors and others weigh in.
We believe this is different. Why? Because it offers a new, defensible theory of intense positive emotions and leadership, based on a major biological opportunity that is frequently ignored.
In the following pages, we offer a concept that allows you to describe and think through intimacy of your couple, and its impact on your personal life, and your leadership effectiveness.
This concept has been applied and tested around the world and is already used by leaders from large corporations. It can become a shared language that allows you to easily describe and utilize intimacy to create new inner growth.
Without such a shared language, it is difficult to systematically challenge assumptions about one’s understanding on a complex taboo and innovate successfully.
We believe that an intimacy model can best be described through five basic building blocks that show the logic of how a couple intends to achieve happiness, meaning and success. The proposed intimacy model is a clear-cut blueprint for a couple to be implemented through positive emotions, smart behaviors, and appropriate habits.
It is the practical framework of how profound, intense, and plenary inner states drive lasting altered traits in a harmonious couple relationship.
Theories and studies abound, relevant insights are offered
and most of the authors provide guidance about how to enhance knowledge, skills and abilities to improve our leadership effectiveness. Many of them with a promise of a better work-life integration, in one way or another.
So, here is the question: Why one more book about leadership?
Do positive emotions matter in our life? Recent science offers us rigorous, insightful, and actionable thought
leadership on that.
Based on a meta-analysis with nearly 300 different studies on positivity and 275,000 participants, recent research shows positive emotions undo effects of negative
emotions, fuel and build resilience, expand brain's ability to make better decisions, facilitate emotional rescue, trigger an upward spiral2 toward optimal functioning, improve learning abilities, broaden thinking, and build inner resources, may improve influential skills and may also produce optimal functioning in organizations3.
Superior Intimacy is a tested methodology that generates exceptional positive emotions that one experiences in his/ her couple relationship based on our supreme emotion (love), and erotic intimacy is integrated into this model for accelerated leadership progress.
Happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, vitality, inner power, health4, and longevity are all extra benefits that the model offers. The practitioner of the model is a real alchemist leader who is able to integrate the powerful energy that creates life and which is really behind everything.
In fact, it is a practical path for nurturing in us the androgynous leader capacities in an effective, pleasant, and rapid way. However, this only works for practitioners because as a great sage once said, 1 gram of practice is more than 1 ton of theory.
FOREWORD
Mahatma Gandhi mentioned seven dangers to human virtues among which two are relevant:
Wealth without work
2. Pleasure without conscience
Knowledge without character
Business without ethics
Science without humanity
Religion without sacrifice
Politics without principles
When John H Stanford, former US Army Major General,
was asked how he’d go about developing leaders, whether in colleges and universities, in the military, in government, in the non-profit sector, or in private business he replied:
“When anyone asks me that question, I tell them I have the secret to success in life. The secret to success is to stay in love. Staying in love gives you the fire to ignite other people, to see inside other people, to have a greater desire to get things done than other people. A person who is not in love doesn’t really feel the kind of excitement that helps them to get ahead and to lead others and to achieve. I don’t know any other fire, any other thing in life that is more exhilarating and is more positive a feeling than love is.”
Former US Army Major General John H Stanford
Globalization has imposed profound and sometimes forced changes on business models and leadership attributes in organizations across all industries, and these sweeping transformations are creating complex and demanding leadership challenges.
Both the Superior Intimacy thinking and approach design your couple relationship as a launching platform where you practically learn how to develop new traits through smarter lifestyle choices.
Leadership, as usual, is a thing of the past. In the last years, we have witnessed unprecedented changes and accelerating shifts in the environment – inner and outer.
The practice is not new but known for ages.
When researching Tao tradition, we discovered that old Chinese emperors and their high-ranking officials knew how to preserve pro-creator potential and how to use it for better health, longevity, and higher vitality.
Also, Tantric tradition in its authentic form is known for its teachings and explanations on the value of pro-creator, sexual, and substantial potential and its usage for spiritual purposes. In recent times, Raquel Welch, the famous Hollywood actress, or Sting, the charismatic British singer, have been practitioners of the concept.
The former world heavyweight box-champion Muhammad Ali used to avoid erotic intimate experiences one week before any game to preserve his vitality, thus confirming the value of semen conservation. In our days, several top athletes are used to applying this in their private life.
the leadership and eroticism in a couple relationship and distils the collective intellectual capital and practical expertise developed throughout the years.
You have here an introduction into the model that has the power to help leaders navigate their transformation
– personal and professional – in an effective and efficient way through an intelligent use of our inner resources (not utilized appropriately by many of us) and by understanding key principles that are brought together in coherent frameworks. And all tested and validated by many, including the authors of these pages.
RESEARCH
Several coaches in European Champions Leagues
recommend players to avoid intimate experiences for 48 hours before any official game to maintain and build vitality while growing appetite for winning.
"A surprising amount of research – much of it quite
recent – suggests that erotic intimacy has lingering effects on the brain and that the state triggered by orgasm has
much in common with drugs."
The book presents some of the points of the concept of Superior Intimacy based on the thought leadership of practitioners (some acting as senior leaders in major organizations or leading leadership institutes around the world) that tested in practice these methods for more than 29 years.
On a yearly basis, we interact constantly with over 2.000 practitioners (men and women) from over 20 countries at various international events where the topic is discussed, analysed, and explored.
The argument we make here captures the richness of the experience, expertise, and view of practitioners and offers insightful, relevant, and applicable advices for those curious to engage in an inner transformation journey that has a multidimensional impact.
We are delighted to introduce this model, which bridges
Telomeres are the capping structure at the end of our DNA that make up our chromosomes. They do not simply carry out the commands issued by our genetic code. Telomeres are listening to us. They absorb the instruction we give them. They respond to us when being stressed or being relaxed, happy or ecstatic.
Thus, telomeres contribute to the state of our brain, our mood, our speed of aging, and our risk for neurodegenerative diseases. In other words, we can change through smart approached at the most elemental cellular level.
If we want to keep our brain sharp, we have to learn about telomere and learn how to impact them. This book presents a model on how to do this, and it does so in a way that is both visual stimulating and also intellectually exhilarating. Recent studies on telomeres show that erotic
ensure that most researchers in the area are engaged in the study of how pharmaceuticals might be developed to "enhance" conventional intimacy forcefully (and sometimes clumsily), rather than the study of how we might work with our biology to protect our pair bonds and enhance our overall well-being.
The analysis and recommendations we provide in this book are based on 3 avenues of research: formal primary research, informal findings, and personal practical experience.
Our primary research included a comprehensive survey
as well as several in-depth interviews.
Fig 8. 7 major benefits for a practitioner of the Superior Intimacy
model (an alchemist leader)
intimacy may matter for telomeres, too. Researchers asked couples if they had been physically intimate during the previous week.
Those who answered yes tended to have longer telomeres and this finding applied to both women and men. However, this effect could not be separated and explained away by the quality of the relationship or other factors relating to health.
In short run, the effects of erotic intimacy are powerful enough to affect our perceptions, priorities, feelings of well-being, and contentment. Indirectly, this research also suggests why erotic continence may naturally increase our capacity to bond and help counter addiction, stress, and depression.
Funding sources and long held assumptions, however,
The survey was aimed at determining how practitioners perceive the model impact their personal lives and their leadership performance. Our analysis incorporates responses from +750 participants from 15 countries.
The in-depth interviews were conducted with 10 heterosexual couples that are both practicing the methodology of Superior Intimacy and are working in major organizations in leadership roles.
We asked about the why, the how, the benefits, and the keys to the success of their leadership journeys and preliminary conclusions are depicted in the Fig
8. Typically, our interviews involved all kind of leaders
-country managers, presidents, and VPs of business units, as well as a factory team leader, a research scientist, and an university teacher.
Discussions with hundreds of practitioners that are working in various organizations also contributed valuable input that brought information to the development of various aspects of our research and helped us frame the challenge a leader's faces (in intimacy) and finally to test
out the findings.
In addition, we have utilized our personal practical experience with the model presented here, several empirical, relevant studies on model-related subjects, and valuable recommendations from a world-class authority in the domain of Tao and Tantra methodology and practice.
OUR STUDY
Charismatic leaders are highly energetic, genuine, trustworthy, reliable, and believable individuals; they act from the heart, with passion and determination, lead by example, and work to create a context within which followers can be true to themselves.
High energy (vitality) can enhance psychological well-
diaries of + 750 employees in 80 companies.
We examined the nature, form, and correlations between erotic continence versus positive emotions relationship.
Not only has regular erotic intimacy experiences been shown to decrease psychological distress and burnout symptoms, and to increase empathy, self-compassion, mental well-being, and quality of life, but preliminary research also shows that erotic intimacy enhances brain functioning which allows one to be more engaged in work.
Vitality is a trait often at the epicentre of discussions of ways to improve healthcare and leadership. Thus, a particular interest of ours focused on a cluster of traits
touching on vitality.
being, personal autonomy, desire for positive relationships,
sense of purpose, mastery over environments, and motivation to grow as leaders.
Individuals demonstrating this type of leadership can also influence the psychological well-being of followers, and work-related performance of individuals, groups, and organizations.
Given the importance of vitality for intra-personal, interpersonal, and organizational outcomes, there has been recent interest in nurturing and developing this particular leadership trait.
One way to do this is through Superior Intimacy – a practical methodology that maps, bridges, and integrates erotic intimate experiences couple relationships with accelerated leadership progress.
In the study we have developed, we explored how erotic continence relates to positive emotions, using both quantitative and qualitative longitudinal data from the
These are inner energy, self-control, and self-awareness. The present study examines the ability of a particular practice to foster an increase in vitality and to durably strengthen well-being and the cluster of traits focused on vitality in leaders from various industries and organizations.
Participants and Procedures
Leaders and managers (N=10 couple relationships) in various organizations from Bucharest, Romania participated in an intensive 1-day program.
It was coordinated by instructors from the Happiness Institute, Geneva, and all instructors were members of the Institute.
Participants explored the Superior Intimacy methodology, practiced mental concentration, meditation, body postures – exercises, and mindful breathing exercises to counteract stress, establish greater balance of body and
mind, reconnect to their leadership principles, stimulate well-being and health.
To assess the impact of the practice, participants completed questionnaires designed to measure vitality, self-control, self-awareness, positive emotions, and stress. The scales touched on vitality, self-awareness, self-control, and several other specific leadership traits.
A qualitative discussion followed, using a specific set of questions that helped to evaluate their perspective on specific items that are key ingredients of the model. The same questionnaire was used with the other +750 participants – all of them – familiar with the methodology and with different degree of expertise.
The results indicate that erotic continence relates positively to positive affect in an individual’s life and that the relationship is a simple linear one.
Discussion
The present study was conducted as a as the first from a series of studies investigating the ability of a this practice implemented by the Happiness Institute – to be an effective means of improving leadership qualities, especially those touching upon self-awareness, self-control, vitality, and ultimately organizations.
The expectation was that changes in intimacy might be accompanied by increases in well-being and, in particu-
lar, by a reduction in perceived stress.
effects produced on practitioner’s perceptions of a other personal habits or other specific factors (changing job, etc).
In this first study we wished to have an understanding of the effects of the practice on the leaders in order to more effectively shape the questions.
In a subsequent study, employee’s vitality and well-being will be studied after their leaders/supervisors complete our leadership training; as will how changes in both groups relate to one another.
Despite these limitations, several interesting trends appeared. A particular interest with respect to the leaders is their ability to infuse the authoritative dimensions of their work with high energy. Genuine caring for others can foster leadership that is integral and that inspires.
Participants scores on all five of scales clustering on vitality were significantly different than at the beginning of the practice. Here, all 5 measures manifest statistically significant changes in the suspected direction.
Self-Control and Self-Awareness have increased, while the Lack of Vitality have decreased. Leaders became more vital and less indifferent. It is noteworthy that in- creased vitality is a common denominator in the self-con-
trol and self-awareness sub-scales.
Our hypothesis is that leaders who are more vital, less self-judgemental, more self-aware, and better at self-
control will simply be healthier, more empathic, and
The present results are limited by a small sample size (couples), time frame evaluation, and by not having a proper sample size as control group at the time of evaluation.
The study is also limited by virtue of the omission of
more effective. The testing of this expectation is part of a following experimental programs we have planned.
It was important to see that the increases in vitality, self- awareness, and self-control and decreases on the Lack of Vitality scales was accompanied by an increased well-
being.
It was important to see that the increases in mindfulness, affection, self-awareness, and decreases on the Lack of Compassion scales are accompanied by increased well- being.
Most notably, perceived stress declined substantially. However, it is also noteworthy that engaging with the recommended practice – majority of the participants reported a major decline in stress – with stress levels significantly lower than the general population mean.
Preliminary time-lagged analyses identify erotic continence as an antecedent of positive affect, with incubation periods of up to several days.
Qualitative analyses identify positive affect as a consequence of erotic continence events, as well as a concomitant of the lovemaking process.
A preliminary theory of the erotic continence vs positive affect cycle in leadership includes each of these links and proposes mechanisms by which they may operate.
The changes reported herein clearly suggest that Superior Intimacy practice has the capacity to produce measurable, statistically significant changes that are important to individuals and to organizations and are indeed worthy of continuing investigation.
Below preliminary results from the quantitative analysis presented to +750 participants and with different level of responses per statement.
Practice of Superior Intimacy highly affected following factors:
Respondents: 450
Median frequency I practice Superior Intimacy:
Respondents: 364
I practice specific techniques for energy sublimation
Respondents: 372
Do not need 9 2,4%
Average Duration of Erotic Intimacy (last 12 months)
Respondents: 552
1/2h 16 2,9%
3/4h 22 4,0%
1h 35 6,3%
1.5h 50 9,1%
>5h 2 0,4%
Not the case 7 1,3%
The quality of experience using Superior Intimacy model
Respondents: 554
Not the case 7 1,3%
Poor 2 0,4%
Mediocre 19 3,4%
Good 146 26,4%
Very Good 177 31,9%
Exceptional 203 36,6%
Identify how you achieved Erotic Continence
Respondents: 669 (mostly men)
"The strongest driving force in life (as Freud said) is sexuality and pleasure experienced during amorous fusion. Similarly, the strongest driving force that leads humanity towards evolution is Ananda (beatitude)."
Gene Kieffer, President and Co-Founder of Kundalini
Research Foundation, Ltd
A study done in 2010 found that erotic intimate experiences causes cell growth in the hippo-campus, a region of the brain that's instrumental to long-term memory. This means that intimate experiences can help prevent the decay that leads to memory loss and dementia.
“Orgasm is a special case of consciousness an altered state where you're feeling, not thinking, so to speak. And the best path to a great orgasm is to keep our head in the game; to practice what is known as mindfulness – clear your mind and focus on the sensations." says Barry Komisaruk, a lead scientist that searches and writes on orgasm.
In women, orgasm states light up as many as 30 areas of
the brain.
Through erotic continence an inverted process is started while discharge is suspended (for both lovers), intense, profound, and higher orgasms are experienced and the high energy generated is channelled to the brain.
The seminal fluids carry 2 important elements – one is the subtle, organic, volatile, experiential substrate which when converted in psychic energy offers a very high force while reaching the brain as what advanced practitioners called “a fluid light”.
The other one has a biological ingredient that reaches the brain through spinal channel and sustains and feeds the brain cells, regeneration, and rejuvenation.
A COMPLEX TABOO AS AN EXCEPTIONAL OPPORTUNITY
Want to be more creative? Experience more often orgasms without discharge in your couple relationship
“There is nothing so practical as a great idea.At Thinkers50, we value new thinking that makes a meaningful contribution in the real world. Equally, we admire organizations that are open to new ideas no matter what their source.”
Thinkers50
“Our birth control method up to that point was Steve’s coitus interruptus…. which for him was about his conserving his energy for work. He explained that he didn't want to climax so he could build 'power and wealth by conserving one’s vital energies."
Crisann Brennan, Steve Jobs' girlfriend in youth
Taboo in leadership
In the Oxford dictionary the word taboo as an adjective means “prohibited or restricted by social custom” and is synonymous with forbidden, prohibited, banned, proscribed, vetoed, ruled out, interdicted, outlawed, not permitted, not allowed, illegal, illicit, unlawful, impermissible, not acceptable, restricted, frowned on, beyond the pale, off limits, out of bounds, unmentionable, unspeakable, unutterable, ineffable, censored, rude, impolite, indecorous, dirty. ("sex is a taboo subject")
A taboo is an activity that is forbidden or sacred based on religious beliefs or morals. Breaking a taboo is extremely objectionable in society as a whole. Around the world, an act may be taboo in one culture and not in another. Among many taboos is the sexual life (in this book we prefer
to consciously use the term erotic intimacy in a couple instead of sex – as in most of the cases this word might be associated with mixed emotions). The complex the taboo of erotic intimacy suppresses discussion and learnings of many details about life: bodily functions, erotic challenges, and other couple relationship stigmatizing conditions.
Discomfort with this topic compromises our happiness, health and down-regulate our quality of life by keeping important insights in the unknown. This create first and foremost isolation. For everyone, including senior executives.
When forced to navigate this forbidden area, leaders often find that they have little guidance and are reluctant to experiment, explore or learn. Some intuitively see that is more on the area – yet not many put the time and energy to find a better model.
From a leadership perspective, this may translate into untapped opportunities that aren’t attractive to explore on the outside, but are extremely rewarding if approached in the right way. With care, intelligence and a learning mindset.
The focus of this material is on how a complex taboo bridges with effective leadership and inspiring followership. It addresses a couple of questions and offers some practical, relevant, and actionable insights. Let’s think on the following:
“What if a largely ignored topic in leadership research is a major opportunity for both men and women, for both
their personal and professional lives?”
As one major leadership scientist said to me in London: "I'm shocked and fascinated at the same time, tell me more. We strongly belief that this is a complex topic requiring maturity, openness, and discernment.
Couple of more questions follow: Why do unarguably intelligent and successful leaders don't explore the opportunity? Why most of the academics avoid to even touch the subject? Is there any connection between effective leadership and couple intimacy? At the end of the 19th century, people started to do jogging and the experts of the time would persistently asked: ”Why do you run? Who is chasing you?”.
Fast forward in our times and take a reality check on this. Jogging is now largely assumed by the scientific community to prolong life (it keeps death at bay for an average of three more years), to make us happier, and even make us smarter. Impossible not to notice how much our mindsets have evolved.
50 years ago, two PhD candidates wanted to do their doctoral dissertation on meditation at Harvard and were rejected. Fast forward to today and meet Richard Davidson and Daniel Goleman and their book Altered Traits as a best-seller on the exceptional benefits of meditation.
You could reflect on the idea that why and how an individual like Steve Jobs saw value, engaged, and practiced something different in intimate experiences in his relationship?
"Their intimate experiences were 'so profound' that Ste- ve ( Jobs) called 15 years later to thank Crisann.”
Fig.9 Superior Intimacy is a smart usage of available inner resources for non-erotic purposes such as happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, and new leadership traits
PRE-CURSOR CELL
SPERMATOZOID CELL
Fitted with mitochondria to provide energy
MUSCULAR CELL
Long, thin cells fitted with contractile proteins
NERVOUS CELL
Highly specialised in forms and bond capacity
EPITHELIAL CELL
Programmed for quick multiplication and dissolve
FAT CELL
Stock energy in case diet don't satisfy energetic needs
Fig.10 Spermatozoid cells are fitted with mitochondria to provide energy. If semen is retained during the erotic intimate experience is realised a net energy gain is obtained. See Solomon Goldfein paper(1978).
In this material, we see things from a different angle. Instead of investigating the problems of erotic intimacy, we will investigate the options and ask:
Are there opportunities with the most formidable experience for a human being?
Why many organizations use the erotic energy to market their products and services? Why is the erotic energy at Hollywood the major and key ingredient in any blockbuster they launch?
And last but not least, why we should hide/reject/dismiss (as not important) a God-given gift and all the extra positive benefits associated and always see it as guilt?
Although the question of why rich, powerful, and rational men have unacceptable and unpardonable behaviors (see the “me-too” movement) is a unsolved problem of our society, we suggest to explore the topic from a different angle and bring to the table the opportunity to learn the a better model of eroticism.
As strategy is about choices, we believe that any leader also needs an erotic strategy if he/she wants to harness the most powerful energy that exists in his/her inner universe; no matter the age, gender, culture, education or wealth. Let's begin…
A little bit of genetic understanding
Cells are life and cells are alive. You are here because every cell inside your body has a specific function and a very specialised job to do. There are many different types of cell, each one working to keep the body’s various systems operating.
A single cell is the smallest unit of living material in the body capable of life. However when grouped together in layers or clusters, however, cells with similar jobs to do form tissue, such as skin or muscle. To keep these cells working, there are thousands of chemical reactions going on all the time.
Not all genes are active and functional in all cells. The
process in which a gene is capable of its own production
This not only changes the paradigm of eroticism (otherwise a largely ignored topic), but offers practical leadership applications, learning opportunities and health benefits.
The practice could be integrated as an operating factor at both macro and micro-levels providing multiple opportunities rather than problems, as indirectly suggested in the Fig 9.
Who and when to experience? All men and women in their couple relationships, in their private home settings can experience this, no doubt about it! Let’s have a moment of reflection: global average of erotic intimacy time is less than 10 minutes so, why the second most read book in the world (Kama Sutra) has +200 of erotic postures included?
of proteins or other substances is named gene expression. Some types of genes are activated and expressed in the majority of the cells.
Those genes are responsible with basic-life processes and "maintenance", like decomposition of glucose to produce energy and building new cell membranes.
Cell specialization propose that some genes are activated or inactivated depending on the exposure to chemical factors like growing or regulating factors.
In cell biology, a precursor cell, also called a blast cell or simply blast, is a partially differentiated cell, usually referred to as a uni-potent cell that has lost most of its stem cell properties. A precursor cell is also known as
a progenitor cell but progenitor cells are multi-potent. Precursor cells are known as the intermediate cell before they become differentiated after being a stem cell. Usually a precursor cell is a stem cell which has the capacity to differentiate into only one cell type. Sometimes precursor cell is used as an alternative term for uni-potent stem cells.
In embryology, precursor cells are a group of cells that differentiate later into one organ. Precursor cells and progenitor cells have many potential uses in medicine. There is research being done to use these cells to build heart valves, blood vessels, and other tissues, by using blood and muscle precursor, or progenitor cells.
Precursor cells can become any cell types.Some of cell lines resulted keep the capacity to specialise, others continue the process until specialization is completed. Those cells that specialize in reproductive cells (spermatozoid cells) are fitted with mitochondria to provide energy (see Fig. 5).
Mitochondria are organelles that supply cells with the energy necessary for them to carry out their functions. The amount of energy used by a cell is measured in molecules of adenosine triphosphate (ATP). Mitochondria use the products of glucose metabolism as fuel to produce the ATP.
In the practice of Superior Intimacy (smart eroticism) both lovers do not discharge (they don't consume pleasure but consciously experience it) and preserve the semen (men), respectively feminine specific fluids (women).
When semen / specific feminine fluids that are usually eliminated through explosive discharge are withholden inside through the practice of erotic continence, they get broken down and are reabsorbed into the organism.
Further, one can see that keeping those cells inside is a platform for net energy gain.
What is smart eroticism and what is not
Smart eroticism is neither philosophy nor religion or dogmatic approach. It does not oppose any of these – it is essentially a transforming experience, an experience of life at its fullest. It may be a spiritual re-connection, as it re-binds the downside to the upper side, heaven to earth, eroticism to a superior state of leadership consciousness.
An unforgettable experience of the body, mind, and soul. that offers an accelerated transformational path, which brings if practiced, a verifiable expansion of the inner universe that enables release from dogma-conditioning and a direct experience of happiness and freedom.
Practitioners name the method as a powerful celebration of life, a holiday in ‘here and now’ of no matter what is happening. An approach to life and nature, where no aspect is declined: inner, outer aspect, joy, sorrow, laughter, weeps, trust, doubt, shadow, and light. It is neither repressive nor improper since each is the vector of the other.
It is not a technical framework, though it makes use of specific methods and techniques which may enable access to your inner universe and it requires constant practice and serious perseverance.
When embraced as a usual couple practice, smart eroticism is a kind of ample meditation, which springs from the merging between the feminine and the masculine aspects, fuelled by the erotic energy which is used further for non-erotic purposes. This is an invitation to discover the superior dimension of the erotic fusion and the way to make the body, heart, and consciousness gradually develop. Still, this cannot be attained in a single day. It is
a process that requires a serious commitment. An art of intense experience in every moment of life, as if it were the last to live.
It is neither a course of eroticism education nor contraceptive method by withholding discharge. If only this aspect is considered, then one is missing the opportunities for transformation sustained by offered the frameworks
It is true, as we will see that slow breathing enables discharge control and favors a prolonged period of erotic intimacy. Nevertheless, in doing so a man risks losing spontaneity, innocence, and genuineness. The mind takes over control and there is no room left for meditation.
The essence is not technique, but an awareness of expe- riences, an emotional expansion to regenerate the space where the man and the women merge with each other.
We retrieve the childhood innocence, we learn again how to play with the one we love, having no schedule and no pressure to feel and intensely experience the beauty of the present moment.
Complete awareness of emotions determines the opening of the heart. When the two lovers come together, that is an experiential moment, for each of them can reveal itself as they are. There is nothing to prove, nothing to defend, nothing to protect.
There are two beings that simply live their love relationship for real. No matter the time, the age, the outer conditions, it’s just the experience in the present moment that really matters. The more we take the risk to be ourselves in the present, the more our relationships is developed, the more fulfilling and flourishing our inner state becomes.
KEY INSIGHT
THE ESSENCE IS NOT TECHNIQUE, BUT AN AWARENESS OF EXPERIENCES
Summary of the key ideas presented at IMD Lausanne, Switzerland June 2017 with MBA class.
“There is a big difference between 10 minutes and 3 hours when it comes to erotic intimacy in your couple
relationship.A woman will tell you.”
Research Participant, Interview statement
Fig.11 Based on qualitative interviews with 10 couple relationships
“When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of intimate experiences, here is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have intimate experiences with the authorities. ”
Cartoonist Matt Groening
“I learned that sexuality is the highest form of transmutable energy. In other words, we all have the ability to transfer our sexual energy into other areas of our life for the purpose of achieving wealth, happiness, love, health, and any other positive benefits we seek.”
Mahatma Gandhi
“Romantic love is a pathway not only to extraordinary joy, but also to profound self-discovery.”
Distinguished Psychologist Nathaniel Branden, The Psychology of Romantic Love
“Stages of love in brain and brain chemistry explain behavior.The brain can be remodelled through practice to change.Awareness and practice are essential keys."
PhD Marc Millstein
22 ESSENTIAL ASPECTS
to better understand the
Superior Intimacy model
– For Practitioners –
'One visual from practitioners is more than 1000 words from theorists.'
1st ESSENTIAL ASPECT
It's about reciprocal, conscious, elevated love and not basal instincts, in a couple relationship
‘The truth is that major capacities and competencies of leadership can be learned and we are all educable, at least if the basic desire to learn is there. In fact nurture is far
more important than nature in determining who becomes a successful leader."
Warren Bennis (1925- 2014), Distinguished Professor of Business Administration and Founding Chairman of The Leadership Institute at
Univ. of Southern California
A wise people once said: "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
All five pillars contribute in a distinct, concrete and relevant way creating the "creuzet" for accelerated transformation in a safe environment, where both lovers (woman and man) develop in a productive way.
"Learn how to UNLEARN and learn again"
Guess which is the most intriguing and most interesting pillar of the model?
Fig.12 The 5 pillars map and supporting factors.
2nd ESSENTIAL ASPECT
This is accepted
Plasticity of the brain Plasticity of procreative, substantial, creative potential
The idea that the brain and its function are not fixed throughout adulthood was proposed in 1890 by William James in The Principles of Psychology, though the idea was largely neglected.
The first person to use the term neural plasticity was the Polish neuroscientist Jerzy Konorsk.
In 1923, Karl Lashley demonstrated changes in neuronal pathways on monkey considered which he considered evidence of brain plasticity.
Justo Gonzalo in 1945 concluded that brain has capacity to increase neural excitability and to re-organize the activity by means of plasticity properties.
First scientific evidence of anatomical brain plasticity was published by Marian Diamond in 1964. Other evidences come from Paul Bach-y-Rita, Michael Merzenich, Jon Kaas, David Hubel, Torsten Wiesel, Brita Holzel, Sara Lazar and Richard Davidson (and many others).
Michael Merzenich has made some of the most ambitious claims for the field: "that brain exercises may be as useful as drugs to treat diseases – that plasticity exists from cradle to the grave, and that radical improvements in cognitive functioning
– how we learn, think, perceive, and remember are possible even in the elderly."
Merzenich received the 2016 Kavli Prize in Neuroscience "for the discovery of mechanisms that allow experience and neural activity to remodel brain function."
For Freud, sublimation helped explain the plasticity of the sexual instincts (and their convertibility to non-sexual ends). C. G. Jung believed sublimation to be metaphysical in nature.
3rd ESSENTIAL ASPECT
How men's seminal substance feeds the higher brain centres
SEMINAL FLUIDS
2 components
"Gopi Krishna is an extremely honest reporter. One is willing to accept his detailed descriptions of inner changes as exact reports"
Frederick Spielberg, Emeritus Professor, Stanford University
force
"Above all, I remember the eyes of the man: friendly, luminous, huge, softly focused. They attracted and held my attention and somehow convinced me that what was happening in that room and with this man was genuine."
Dr James Hillman, Director of Studies, C.G.Jung, Zurich
"This transmutation of semen is on the surface similar to Freud's notion on sublimation. Yet, whereas Freud's model is reductionistic and abstract, Gopi Krishna's de- scription purports to be descriptive and realistic."
Carl Fredrich von Weizsacker, Professor, Max Planck Institute for Life Sciences, Starnberg, Germany
Fig.14 Components of Seminal Fluids. Source: Gopi Krishna yogi,mystic, teacher, social reformer, and writer
4th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
The 4steps model of Complete Erotic Continence
By capturing high inner energy through biological transmutation and then using self-directed neuroplasticity techniques one generates accelerated changes in his/her inner universe.
Self-directed neuroplasticity is a concept that allows us to consciously control how we want our brain to function. In
1 4 other words, if you want your brain to become better in social situations, you’d “force” (learn) yourself to become more
comfortable in these situations and your brain eventually adapts.
Similarly, anytime you learn a new skill (e.g. how to have formidable intimate experiences), your brain functioning changes and adapts to whatever you put in front of it.
2 3
Self-directed neuroplasticity involves: attention, volition (will-power), brain activation, and consistency (you don't
use it, you lose it!).
This is derived from the work of Dr.Jeffrey M.Schwartz,research psychiatrist at School of Medicine,University of California and one of the world’s leading experts in neuroplasticity.
Fig.15 The process flow of Erotic Continence from the Superior Intimacy model in a couple relationship. Step 2 is 'either or'.
5th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
How vitality works when it comes to intimacy
Peng-Tzu, an adviser of the Yellow Emperor (ancient Chinese emperor), reported almost 5000 years ago:
"After discharge (ejaculation), a man is tired, his ears buzz, his eyes are heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel weak and stiff. In discharge (ejaculation) he enjoys a brief moment of sensation but then suffers long hours of exhaustion."
Dr. John Mann and Larry Short, authors of The Body of Light
count 49 cultures around the world that have a word for chi;
F E the words vary from prana in Sanskrit to neyayoneyah in Lakota Sioux to num, which means "boiling point," in the language of
the kalahari !Kung.
TYPICAL
DISCHARGE Erotic
SUPERIOR
INTIMACY Erotic
"The West is perhaps unique in its lack of an equivalent term. We speak about feeling energized or having low energy, but with a few notable exceptions, we tend to ignore this important part of our physical body."
Strategy Approach
Strategy Approach
-Dr. John Mann, PhD Columbia, Professor and Chairman of the Department of Sociology at the State University of New York at Geneseo for 20 years
Fig. 16 What would you choose?
6th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Orgasm and discharge (for men and women) are 2 completely distinct phases
In "Fundamentals of Human Sexuality", Herant Katchadourian,
Emeritus Professor of Human Biology at Stanford says:
"Some men are able to inhibit the emission of semen while they experience the orgasmic contractions: in other words they have non-ejaculatory orgasms. Such orgasms do not seem to be followed by a refractory period, thereby allowing these men to have consecutive or multiple orgasms like women."
ORGASM
DISCHARGE
Alfred Kinsey’s research suggested that more than half of all pre-adolescent boys were able to reach a second orgasm within a short period of time and nearly a third were able to achieve five or more orgasms one after the other.
This led Kinsey to argue that "climax is clearly possible
without discharge (ejaculation)."
Yet multiple orgasms are not just limited to prepubescent boys. Kinsey continues: "There are older males, even in their thirties and older, who are able to equal this performance.”
Fig.17 Two separate function. One is happening in the brain, one at muscular level.
7th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Core elements of the new erotic strategy
MULTIPLE ORGASMS
Erotic strategy is about…
…Choices in your couple relationship under excitement, entailing multiple behavioral, attitudes, and mindsets that need to be aligned, integrated, and consciously practiced…
…With happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, vitality, health, power, creativity in short, mid and long-term for both partners choosing to practice the Superior Intimacy model (otherwise is a temporary tactic with limited impact)…
…Under inner constraints that require smart choices and trade-offs to sustain inner harmony, balance, and vitality.
Erotic strategy is based on self-awareness and self-control and is not just about choices but about making.
NO DISCHARGE
Fig.18 Combines in simultaneity the benefits of multiple orgasms with semen retention, creating exceptional inner states for both lovers (man and woman).
8th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Understanding the brutal truth
HIGH INNER ENERGY
HIGH, ELEVATED INNER STATES
EROTIC CONTINENCE
CLASSICAL DISCHARGE
IF REPEATED, FAVORS:
= +
DIMINISHED VITALITY
REDUCED MEMORY
LOSS OF EROTIC POWER
PREMATURE SENILITY
DECREPITUDE
PROFOUND FRUSTRATION
CREATIVITY DECLINE
ANXIETY DEPRESSION
PROFOUND FRUSTRATION
Erotic Continence helps both lovers (woman and man) to extract exceptional inner value from the two funda- mental levers for rapid transformational change (semen
retention and multiple orgasms).
The model of Classical Discharge (unfortunately spread over and utilized in an instinctual manner) offers multiple disadvantages for both lovers (woman and man), being known, misunderstood, not investigated clinically properly, and still a taboo for the scientists of our time.
Fig. 19 Understanding why the classical model is broken. Beginnings have some similar aspects, yet continuation is essentially different.
9th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Key principles that impact our inner development
Trying to live without understanding the Erotic Intimacy is like your trying to drive a car without knowing how to control it.
PRINCIPLE OF CORRESPONDENCE
PRINCIPLE OF DYNAMIC BALANCE
PRINCIPLE OF CAUSALITY
PRINCIPLE OF PERSEVERING PRACTICE
PRINCIPLE OF CONSCIOUSNESS
PRINCIPLE OF INNER ENERGY
PRINCIPLE OF TOTAL RESONANCE
PRINCIPLE OF RHYTHM
PRINCIPLE OF POLARITY
PRINCIPLE OF HEART INTELLIGENCE
The results can be disastrous even though you may be trying hard to drive correctly. Similarly, if you do not understand the principles by which your erotic intimacy life operates, you risk to end up experiencing difficulty, chaos, pain, frustration, and confusion without understanding the reasons.
These insufficiently studied patterns have an universal nature and they operate in the same way regardless of the life domain or field.They operate in the natural world around us and they apply to all aspects of our personal and professional life.
If we succeed in recognising and learning how to deal with these dynamic laws, we will also discover that the many different aspects of ourselves and of the world around us make up a single puzzle.
Fig 13 The ecosystem.
10th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Behind any transformation effort we need inner energy
Very High Energy
High Energy
Great happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, constant joy, zest for life, playfulness, magnetism, being electric, intense positive affect, high creativity
Experience happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, constant joy, zest for life, playfulness, positive affect
Inner energy, instead of time, skills, experiences and strategies is the fundamental currency of high performance. It is inner energy that builds vitality of a leader.
High performance, health, vitality, inner power, and happiness are grounded in the smart management of energy.
Stages of Inner Energy
Average Energy
Low Energy
Very Low Energy
Fluctuating but most of the time stable
Decreased vitality, without power, depressed, pessimism, no creativity, anger, frustration, anxiety
Everything appears hopeless, decrepitude, fast aging, mental decline
Great leaders are conscious stewards of organizational energy. They begin by effectively and efficiently managing their own energy. As leaders, they must mobilize, focus, direct, channel, renew, and expand the energy of others. Full engagement is the energy state that best serves high performance.
As Aristotle said, "we are what we repeatedly do." as the Dalai Lama put it more recently, "There isn't anything that isn't made easier through constant familiarity and training. Through training we can change; we can transform ourselves.”
Fig.21 Stages of Inner Energy and how to recognize where you are.
11th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Understanding "The How" of Superior Intimacy
SUPERIOR INTIMATE
EXPERIENCES
SELF- AWARENESS DEVELOPMENT
SELF- CONTROL
High, Elevated Inner States
ALTERED TRAITS
Principle of
PERMANENT TRAITS
DEVELOPMENT
“Gradually, then Suddenly”
Meditation beginners get improvements in attention very early on, including less mind-wandering after just 8 minutes of meditation practice.
But even as little as 2 weeks of daily practice is sufficient to produce less mind-wandering and better focus and working memory, enough for a significant boost in scores on different tests.
Some findings suggest decreases in activation in the self- relevant regions of the default mode with as little as 2 months of practice.When it comes to physical health, there is more good news: small improvements in the molecular markers of cellular aging seem to emerge with just 30 hours of practice.
Still, all such effects are unlikely to persist without sustained practice. Even so, these benefits are surprisingly strong for beginners.
Insight: daily practice of meditation can pay off quickly in some ways, even if you have just started.The same flow applies if one engage with Superior Intimacy practice which is also a very profound meditation.
The process starts with exceptional intimate experiences in your couple relationship (to achieve that you need to adjust some behaviors), then the deliberate practice of self-directed neuroplasticity, which not only enhance brain neurogenesis and brain rejuvenation but also impacts our entire being at the cellular level.
Fig.22 The process flow to permanent traits.
12th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Learning the stages of Superior Intimacy
Hyper-Conscious Competence
Exemplary practice with very high awareness
Conscious Competence
MASTERY OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY
Advanced practice with developed capacities of intention, attention, and awareness
Conscious Incompetence
IGNORANCE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY
Know that you don’t know
Unconscious Incompetence
Don’t know that you don’t know
D. Zachary Hambrick, a Professor of Psychology at Michigan State University, says that practice is important, if not essential, to the development of expertise in any field.
Fig.23 Stages of learning the Superior Intimacy model.
Fig.24 How we learn. Seeing is believing, doing is learning.
Adapted after Dale Edgar's – Cone of Learning
13th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Superior Intimacy drives intense positive emotions
Recent science offers us rigorous, insightful, and actionable thought leadership on the link between positive emotion and intimate experiences.
LOVE
Conscious heart coherence
with the other
Based on a meta-analysis with nearly 300 different studies on positivity and 275,000 participants, positive emotions undo the effects of negative emotions, fuel and build resilience, expand brain's ability to make better decisions, facilitate emotional rescue, trigger an upward spiral toward optimal functioning, improve learning abilities, broaden thinking and build inner resources, may improve influential skills and may also produce optimal functioning in organizations.
Entering/remaining in the flow
INTEGRATION
SUPERIOR INTIMACY
Seeing and nurturing potential/talent in the other. Unconditional positive regard
TRANSFIGURATION
Superior Intimacy is a practical methodology that generates exceptional positive emotions in both lovers.
Happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, vitality, inner power, health, and longevity are all extra benefits.
Capturing, circulating, and modulating high inner energy
COMPLETE EROTIC CONTINENCE
Thinking and behaving with a moral compass. Seeing the inherent value in the other
Fig.25 Superior Intimacy and Broaden-and-Build model interlink.
14th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Theorists suggest that positive emotions work to influence not only momentary responses
Being mindful and taking the time to experience positive emotions can provide an extra buffer against symptoms of depression while boosting psychological well-being and life satisfaction (Kiken, Lundberg,
& Fredrickson, 2017).
Leadership is more effective in boosting employee job satisfaction, effort, and effectiveness when positive emotions like enthusiasm, hope, pride, happiness, and inspiration complement the leadership (Zineldin, 2017).
Positive emotions of interest and gratitude are linked to enhanced satisfaction with one’s work, while gratitude also positively impacts satisfaction with one’s co-workers and supervisors. These results also found that both interest and gratitude predict an employee’s satisfaction with his or her promotion (Winslow, Hu, Kaplan,& Li, 2017).
There is direct relationship between positive emotions and employee engagement—as well as a link between leaders’ use of humor and employee engagement (Goswami, Nair, Beehr, and Grossenbacher, 2016).
There is evidence to suggest that positive emotions can protect against memory impairment (MacKenzie, Powell, & Donaldson, 2015).
Facilitate more effective coping, which boosts health by providing a buffer against symptoms of depression (Dolphin, Steinhardt, & Cance, 2015).
Not only do positive emotions enhance satisfaction with the job, they also reduce turnover intentions and reduce the effects of stress on employees (Sui, Cheung, & Lui, 2015).Positive emotions have been found to result in increased self-efficacy, higher job satisfaction, and better mental health in general (Schutte, 2014).
Positive emotions connect to higher job satisfaction during task conflict (Todorova, Bear, & Weingart, 2014).
Authentic leadership was found to lead to more effective innovation in followers when coupled with positive emotions (Zhou, Ma, Cheng,
& Xia, 2014).
Positive emotions and resilience are positively correlated, indicating that one leads to the other or they share a bi-directional relationship (Peng and colleagues, 2014).
There is connection between a healthy heart rate and the experience of positive social emotions (Kok and colleagues, 2013).
Expression and amplification of positive emotions can lead to enhanced goal attainment, whether the expression of emotions is directed towards co-workers or superiors (Wong,Tschan, Messerli, & Semmer, 2013).
Positive emotions in the workplace can facilitate more effective leadership as well as increasing job satisfaction. Transformational leadership and positive emotions have a positive effect on task performance (Liang & Steve Chi, 2013).
Positive emotions may expand focus and memory capacity and enhance the ability to remember both central and peripheral details (Yegiyan & Yonelinas, 2011).
Healthy relationships are characterized by a kind of interdependence, in which the other person doesn’t so much complete us as complement us (Murray, S. & Holmes, J. Interdependent minds: The dynamics of close relationships. 2011).
17th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Levers for inner energy circulation and central nervous system activation
AWARENESS
INTENTION ATTENTION
Contracting pelvian muscles to direct the energy toward the brain
Activating the central nervous system as energy generated through Superior Intimacy is consciously directed up the spine
Fig.26 How inner energy is directed.
Fig.27 How one becomes energized.
18th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
The How of Superior Intimacy from a different angle
LOVE
INTEGRATION
SUPERIOR INTIMACY
TRANSFIGURATION
No Discharge
Multiple Orgasms
POWER FOR TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE
COMPLETE EROTIC CONTINENCE
Fig.28 How the model of Superior Intimacy delivers.
19th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Great leadership begins with great self-awareness
Energy is simply the capacity to do work.Our most fundamental need as human beings is to spend and recover energy.
We need energy to perform and recovery is distinct than the absence of work. It serves not just health,happiness, and performance but also consciousness development.
The more energy you have the more creativity, the more capacity to initiate and produce transformations you have.
Full engagement requires cultivating a dynamic balance between the expenditure of energy and the renewal of energy (recovery) in all dimensions of our being.
Fig.29 How perception changes through the Superior Intimacy practice.
20th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Menstruation = loss of energy. Periods have no health benefit
PERIODS
=
LOW ENERGY
“For years, I had extremely heavy periods that would drag on for eight weeks or so and left me severely anaemic to the point where I started experiencing pulsatile tinnitus. Not having periods any more is a blessing.”- Jaimi Kendall, 25, from Exeter.
George Starr White, a US physician, who diagnosed nearly a quarter of a million cases, and wrote over 100 books noted:
"Blood is the fluid of life and must be conserved. There is no impure blood to be eliminated once a month. Blood loss from any part of the body affects health and is an impediment for the metabolism and natural functions.”
Mary Jacobi (American medical physician and scientist), Clelia Mosher (physician and assistant professor of personal hygiene at Stanford) followed by Dr. K.S. Guthrie, Dr Elisabeth Blackwell suggested the erotic origins of menstruation:
"In summary, the excess of erotic energy (not sublimated)
determines the menstruation."
This is the most plausible theory, considering the fact that there are thousands of women that were capable to give birth and yet suspend their menstruation (quality of life improved) using diet and diverse techniques for transmutation and sublimation.
Fig. 30 Why does menstruation makes women feel so tired?
21th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
So what?
Usage of erotic/ sexual energy
Personal Transformation
Regeneration Revitalization Rejuvenation
Generation
Degeneration
When energy is used for new inner traits development
When energy is used for preliminary benefits
When energy is used for pro- creation (the birth of a new human being)
When energy is lost through voluntary/involuntary actions in frugal experiences
Full engagement requires drawing on all sources of energy including the erotic/sexual energy.
Because erotic energy capacity diminishes both with aging, we must balance energy expenditure with intermittent energy renewal. To maintain a powerful vitality in our lives, we must learn how to rhythmically renew our energy.
To build vitality, we must push beyond our prejudices, training in the same systematic way that spiritual practitioners do.
We build vital capacity in precisely the same way that we build physical, emotional, mental or spiritual capacity- by adopting smarter habits.
Energy habits – highly specific tools for managing energy – are essentials for full engagement and sustained high performance. A smart habit is a behavior that becomes automatic over time
– sustained by some deeply held value.
Fig.31 Usage of erotic/sexual energy
22th ESSENTIAL ASPECT
Key levers in Superior Intimacy development and practice
CONSCIOUSNESS
INTENTION
BREATH
ATTENTION
SEMEN
Intention,Attention, and Awareness are developed through daily, systematic practice even in the small activities.
They all three are essential for inner development.
Semen, breath, and consciousness are interlinked and an action on one influences the other 2.
To act upon breath you need attention, intention, and awareness.
To act upon consciousness you need attention, intention, and awareness.
To act upon semen you need attention, intention, and awareness.
To act upon all 3 in simultaneity you need specific techniques with proper attention, intention, and awareness. Proper guidance will also help.
AWARENESS
Fig.32 Combining the two essential trios
“There is no power on earth like unconditional love.”
Warren Buffett
“Absorbed sex becomes a tremendous force inside you.A Buddha, a Tilopa, have a magnetic force around them.What is it? Sex that has been absorbed. Sex is human magnetism.”
Osho
“Erotic intimacy is first and foremost a
psychological issue.”
PhD Barnaby Barratt, President of the American Association of Sex Educators.
“In order to train the tiger, one must
remain close to the tiger."
– B. Bhattacharya
Superior Intimacy -The practical framework for unparalleled charisma, happiness, and inner energy
'Great truths are simple yet you discover them only when you feed yourself with essences.'
CHALLENGING CONVENTIONAL THINKING
A deeply entrenched belief that had long been taken for granted
“After seven years of reflection in vain, the solution came to me suddenly with the thought that our concepts and laws of space and time can only claim validity insofar as they stand in a clear relation to the experiences; and that experience could very well lead to the alteration of the concepts and laws”
Albert Einstein
"The capacity to challenge orthodoxies and propose wildly better, surprising models is one of the fundamental driving forces for humanity progress."
Anonymous
How do pioneers manage to spot the opportunities for (r)evolutions that everyone seems to miss? What is it that enable them to imagine radically new or different ways of doing things that will fundamentally improve their life experiences and behaviors, or break long-established paradigms, or shift the entire basis for life meaning?
Andreas Vesalius asked: "What if the dominant theories of human anatomy that have been unassailable for a thousand years are fully misguided? What if the human body functions completely differently than we have been taught? And what if we started dissecting some dead bodies to find out the truth?
Paracelsus asked: What if everything we know about medicine is nonsense?
What if certain chemicals and minerals used in the right dosage, would be a far better way to cure illnesses than traditional practices? What if nature could teach us much more about medicine than ancient books from Greece and Rome?"
Newton asked: "What if conventional concepts of physics, gravity, and motion are inconsistent with reality? What if we need new laws and mathematical models for understanding mechanics?
Christofor Columb asked: "What if we could get to the
East Indies much faster by sailing west instead of east
Brilliant flashes that lead them to their game-changing ideas. From where?
Throughout the history it was them who dared to challenge the dogma, ask outrageous questions for their time, and reset the entire field of knowledge they focused.
Here are some examples. Copernicus, Gallileo, and Kepler asked: "What if the Earth is not the center of the Universe? What if it revolves around the Sun along with other planets?"
and circumnavigating the globe?"
Amerigo Vespucci asked: "What if the Earth has a much larger circumference than we learned from Ptolomy's cartography? What if these lands Columbus discovered has newly discovered are not the Indies at all, but in fact another whole continent – a New World?
Descartes asked: "What if all of our traditional systems of thinking, most of which are found upon Aristotle's ideas, are false? What if we set out to build a new philosophical system from the ground up, by first challenging we think we know?"
Almost by definition, these revolutionaires were nonconformists who were willing to contest previously held truths-beliefs and assumptions that had been accepted as absolute gospel for perhaps a thousand years or more – and to reinvent their world-view completely from scratch.
Many of them were branded as heretics, lunatics or died for their ideas yet their propensity to break the chains of precedent and to challenge conventional thinking became
new start-up selling erectile dysfunction pills. Their first day revenues were $1m. This speaks for itself about the demand.
The level of societal bias has in many ways translated in low levels of creativity and investment in “fake” solutions ignoring from start the completely natural options that are available and which works without secondary effects. In line with Copernicus, Galileo, Kepler, Paracelsus,Newton, Columb, Vespiuci, Descartes thinking we can ask:
the basis for a whole string of breakthrough discoveries
and new theories that literally changed our world.
Da Vinci was able to see life with new lenses and spot opportunities because he was vastly more conscious and more connected with his environment than others. He was focusing his attention on issues and frustrations that most people simply ignored.
It’s not that people don’t ask tough questions on intimacy, it’s just that at general level these are conversations we somehow (unconsciously) are led to believe are inappropriate or somehow hide an invaluable aspect. It is not appropriate, sensitive and a bad thing to open up a discussion on the importance of erotic energy.
In many organizations, executives speak about mental energy, emotions impact and importance, spiritual energy, physical energy yet sexual/erotic aspect is only touched in
What if the dominant conventions about erotic energy and its usage is outdated, out-functional or just plain wrong?
Where are the shifts and discontinuities that will, now and in the future, provide the inner energy you need for a major leap forward? How can you arrange existing skills and inner assets into new combinations that add up to more than the sum of their part? What are the pain-points and frustrations that everyone else is simply ignoring?
And to end this set of questions we can reflect again on two special individuals and ask:
Why Erwin Schrödinger, the father of quantum mechanics, practiced a different model of intimate experiences? Why Steve Jobs was also interested on the practice?
the harassment policies (clearly articulated and reinforced
often) as it is positioned as hedonism.
Society at large in many countries is still at the medieval level when it comes to intimacy. And we all know that whilst the conversations are not happening, the problem exist. The unmet need is there and requires attention. The potential demand for practical keys that address some of the intimacy challenges is seen in US through a brand-
KEY INSIGHT
RADICAL NEW PERSPECTIVES COMES FROM RADICAL
PERSONAL PRACTICES.
Article written after our participation in the Geneva HR
Salon, Switzerland, Oct 2017.
DO YOU HAVE A BREAKTHROUGH IDEA?
BEWARE OF DOGMA – IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN STRONG!
The greater the scientist, the more wrong they can be
“The higher the ignorance, the higher the dogma”
Sir William Osler,“the father of modern medicine”
"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice.And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
Steve Jobs
In recent years, we have interacted with many entrepreneurs, business leaders and scientists in Geneva and London especially. We were interested to see their perspective on the concept – as their are enough ad-hoc evidences to build a reliable hypothesis for a paper. Most of them obsessively repeated that we should never ever wait for the science to give us permission to unceasingly explore the uncommon and let the science come after us, study the topic and upgrade their laws.
When science confuses and amuses
“Men who discharged at least 21 times a month were 19 percent less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer in their 20s than men who discharged no more than 7 times a month, found a study done by an assistant professor at Harvard in 2017.” (a surveys of nearly 30,000 men and their intimate activities from 1992 to 2000, realized in 2017)
"Can they really remember how often they discharged
(ejaculated) so many years ago?"
, asked Michael Naslund, MD, Professor of Surgery, University of Maryland, while Michael O'Leary, MD, MPH Professor of Surgery at Harvard Medical School and a highly respected field authority, declared: “Didn't think the results would likely translate into any new recommendations for patients at this time". Moreover, "the study is certainly amusing, but no one's going to tell their patients to discharge more frequently. This study is provocative more than anything else."
There are 2 papers on Pubmed that concludes with: "Catholic priests actually have had lower incidence of prostate cancer than the general male population."
Even more, The Independent researched more on the topic and published a review from a scientist saying:
"The health of 1,500 monks, aged between 50 and 104, living at Holy Mount Athos, was studied between 1994 and 2007. Despite their average venerable age, monks living in 20 ancient monasteries have virtually no heart disease, no cardiac arrests, and no strokes, a zero-incidence of Alzheimer’s disease which astonished the researchers conducting the studies, and unusually low rates of cancer, which in the case of prostate cancer is 4 times lower than the international average."
Anand Mahindra, Mahindra Group's executive chairman, didn't mince his word when he delivered an epic burn
on an article published by The New York Times on April 2017. The article, which talks about the benefits of deep breathing, explains how scientists at Stanford University "may have uncovered for the first time why taking deep breaths can be so calming7". It goes on to detail results from research conducted on mice to draw this inference.
Does it take Stanford researchers with a lab full of mice to tell you what yogis knew eons (sic) ago?", says Mr. Mahindra on Twitter.
Samuel Pepys (1633-1703), the celebrated English diarist, wrote the following comments on seeing plays by Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet – ‘The worst play I ever saw in my life’, A Midsummer Night’s Dream – ‘The most insipid, ridiculous play’, Twelfth Night – ‘A silly play.’
"Television won't last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night." – Darryl Zanuck, movie producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946
"No one will pay good money to get from Berlin to Potsdam in one hour when he can ride his horse there in one day for free." –
King William I of Prussia, on trains, 1864
Since being posted on April 9, the tweet has collected over 7,200 'likes' and almost 6,500 re-tweets. The greater the expert, the more wrong they can be: in their assumptions, their predictions or their negative reactions to new bold, breakthrough ideas.
The dictum that "science progresses funeral by funeral" (see his Scientific Autobiography, 1948) proves that scientists are just as many victims of the human condition as the rest of us, with all the prejudice and frailties that entail. As Arthur Schopenhauer recognized, an important idea or truth must "endure a hostile reception before it is accepted" when he said:
Dr. Dionysius Lardner (1793-1859), Professor of Natural History and Astronomy at London University, warned that "railway trains travelling at speed would asphyxiate their passengers through lack of air." He also stated that no steamship would be able to cross the Atlantic because it would need more coal than it could carry without sinking.
5. Ignaz Semmelweis may be the best-known example of a physician ridiculed for an idea that is now accepted as com- mon sense (washing hands before making a brain surgery).
6. Simon Newcomb (1835-1909), the leading US
"First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
Then, as Phil Rosenzweig, author of The Halo Effect, remarked in one of our discussions in Lausanne – “once they accept the idea then they will say that it has always been there but presented with different words”.
Let's see some classical examples when famous personalities rejected evidences:
astronomer and Professorof Astronomy and Mathematics, declared that "flight by heavier-than-air objects was completely impossible." After the Wright brothers made their first flights, he still claimed that airplanes were impractical and worthless.
"If excessive smoking actually plays a role in the production of lung cancer, it seems to be a minor one." – W.C. Heuper, National Cancer Institute, 1954
"No, it will make war impossible." – Hiram Maxim, inventor of the machine gun, in response to the question "Will this gun not make war more terrible?" Havelock Ellis, an English scientist, 1893
9. "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to no one in particular?" – Associates of David Sarnoff responding to the latter's call for investment in the radio in 1921
"There will never be a bigger plane built." -A Boeing engineer, after the first flight of the 247, a twin-engine plane with 10 people
"How, sir, would you make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a bonfire under her deck? I pray you, excuse me, I have not the time to listen to such nonsense." – Napoleon Bonaparte, when told of Robert Fulton's steamboat, the 1800s
“The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.” – Comment of Aide-de-camp to Field Marshal Haig, at tank demonstration, 1916
"The world potential market for copying machines is 5000 at most.” – IBM, to the eventual founders of Xerox, saying the photocopier had no market large enough to justify production, 1959
“The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.” – Sir William Preece, Chief Engineer, British Post Office, 1878
“When the Paris Exhibition [of 1878] closes, electric light will close with it and no more will be heard of it.” – Oxford professor Erasmus Wilson
16."A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere."
– New York Times, 1936
Ernst Werner von Siemens (1816-1892), the great German engineer who developed the telegraph industry and founded the company bearing his name, declared: "Electric light will never take the place of gas."
Charles Duell was Commissioner at the US Patents Office who in 1899 gave his opinion that "Everything that can be invented has been invented."
Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) was the eminent British physicist who pioneered nuclear physics, discovered the alpha particle and developed the nuclear theory of atomic structure. He refused to believe that "nuclear energy could be harnessed and described ideas for nuclear power as ‘moonshine’."
Lord Kelvin (1824-1907) was a distinguished British mathematician and physicist who developed the law of conservation of energy. He scoffed at the idea of radio and stated "Radio has no future." He also said -"X-rays will prove to be a hoax."
H.G. Wells (1866-1946), the eminent British author and one of the first science fiction writers, said in 1902 – "I refuse to see any sort of submarine doing anything except suffocating its crew and floundering at sea."
General Douglas Haig (1861 -1928), the commander of the British Army in WWI said in 1914 of the machine gun – "Make no mistake, this weapon will change absolutely nothing."
In 1927, H.M Warner of Warner Brothers asked:
"Who wants to hear actors talk?"
24. Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics at Yale University, said in 1929 – "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
Dr. Albert Einstein said in 1932 – "There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable."
Admiral William Leahy (1875-1959) told President Truman in 1945 – "The atomic bomb will not go off and I speak as an expert in explosives."
Rex Lambert, Editor of The Listener, wrote in 1936 –
"Television won’t matter in your lifetime or mine.’"
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously
36. Ken Olson, CEO of DEC said in 1977 – "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
You might ask what is the break-through idea here? The answer is: superior intimate experiences in couple relationship.
Our preliminary research and practical experience suggest that these experiences generate vitality, positive affect, and influence critical organizational outcomes.
considered as a means of communication. The device is
inherently of no value to us." – Western Union Internal Memo, 1876
"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
– Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
"Everyone acquainted with the subject will recognize it as a conspicuous failure." – Henry Morton, president of the Stevens Institute of Technology, on Edison's light bulb, 1880
"The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty—a fad." The president of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford's lawyer not to invest in Ford Motor Co., 1903
John Langdon-Davies, a fellow of the Royal Anthropological Institute opened in 1936 said – "By 1960 work will be limited to three hours a day."
Sir Richard Woolley was the British Astronomer- Royal who declared in 1956 – "Space travel is utter bilge."
Don Rowe was the director of Decca Records who turned down the Beatles. He said to their promoter, Brian Epstein, "We don’t like your boys’ sound. Groups of guitarists are on the way out."
Frank Sinatra in 1957 stated – "Rock and Roll is phony. It’s sung, written and played by cretinous goons."
Erotic experiences create in both lovers an intense, profound, positive, and subtle transfer producing the “Battery Effect”.
Instead of feeling energy drained, they both (lovers) experience an intense state of replenishment plus re- energization on multiple levels.
At the core of the practice is erotic continence. In essence, it means the retention of semen in man’s body, without eliminating it through discharge or pollution's and in women’s case, the absence of the specific explosive discharge during an orgasm and the decrease in the menstrual secretions.
Why to retain the semen? From ancient times, people have noticed that if a man intelligently preserves his semen from a young age, he will still be erotically active in old age.
There are some undoubted examples of men who have been fertile even after 100 years of age . Regularly, we notice that andropause (the period of erotic repose to which a man is “damned” towards the end of his life) is very much delayed if the respective man has used more attentively his seminal reserve.
As it usually happens, once the semen “reserve” of the body is finished and consequently, it is no longer produced in the body, the vitality, memory, and creativity diminish very much and it becomes clear for the respective man that he has grown old.
On the contrary, for those men who have been wise about their semen preservation, the passing of the years only left marks on the appearance, but not on the capacity of being active in an amorous game.
Several papers conclude clearly that “employees’ moods, emotions, and dispositional affect influence critical organizational outcomes such as the job performance, decision making, creativity, turnover, pro-social behavior, teamwork, negotiation, and leadership.“
There is a very direct connection between erotic potential and the inner force of a person, being known that all the people with a special inner force have also a powerful erotic potential.
KEY INSIGHT
ALL PROGRESS DEPENDS ON UNREASONABLE PEOPLE.
Article written after our participation in the Geneva HR
Salon, Switzerland, Oct 2017.
Fig. 33 Understanding how to change the energy you broadcast moment by moment
RESEARCH INTO SPIRITUAL KNOWLEDGE OF INDIA
Shiva Ardhanarishvara – Shiva in his hypostasis of divine, perfect androgyne
“Brahmacharya alone is the supreme penance. There is no penance greater than Brahmacharya in all the three worlds.An urdhvareta saint is a veritable God in flesh and blood.”
We see the worst results when we have leaders and subordi- nates with undifferentiated gender identities, meaning they are mutually low in both masculine and feminine traits.
Lord Shiva, Divine Inspiration:The Secret of Eternal Youth
Sant Shri Asharamji Bapu Ashram “This whole universe has come into existence just to carry you to God consciousness.”
Swami Lakshmanjoo, Shiva Sutras Commentaries
Jean Lee who is Michelin Chair Professor in Leadership at CEIBS, Shanghai says in an article that
"Androgynous leaders, whether biologically male or female, are found to be consistently effective in the eyes of subordinates. "
Although research has not proven that androgyny is better than the traditionally defined masculine leadership style, the interesting finding from CEIBS Leadership Behavioral Laboratory is that androgynous subordinates are attracted to androgynous leaders, with whom they share similar traits.
On the other hand, leaders considered high in masculine qualities fit better with subordinates who have high feminine qualities, showing that opposites attract here. In those cases, the subordinate will see the leader as less than effective, will be less satisfied and also less willing to put in extra effort at work."
In trying to understand the roots of androginity we
turned to the Eastern traditions and after some research, we learned about Shiva-Ardhanarishvara.
In India, the adoration of Shiva is one of the oldest and most prestigious practices in the spiritual history with its origins lost in time.
The word "Shiva" first appeared in Veda as an "appropriate" epithet attributed to the God, who, in his terrible aspect, is Rudra, the personification of the divine power of destroying the wicked and ignorant and the dissolution of all that is limited, impure, and ephemeral.
Lord Shiva is infinite and eternal beyond limitation and yet by his independent free will (svatantrya) he has the power to appear limited. He creates the universe for his own play, without beginning or end.
Shiva-Ardhanarishvara is one of the best well-known hypostases of Shiva. It is the expression of his divine, androgynous, bipolar nature, in which he, in his manifestation as the Supreme Masculine, is intimately fused with his own feminine half. Shiva- Ardhanarishvara is the divine glorious androgyne.
The significance of this hypostasis of Shiva is very important for the Hindu tradition as it is the expression of the inseparable fusion between Shiva and Shakti – the Supreme Transcendent and the creative feminine energy, the masculine and feminine aspects, which exist in a state
of perfect neutrality and polar equilibrium.
The symbolic story of the wise Bringi
Shiva-Ardhanarishvara is also the divine, cosmic being that exists beyond any polarity or duality, situated above all complementary aspects manifested in Creation.
The hypostasis of Shiva as the glorious divine androgyne is based on the following mythical story: The wise Bringi was one of the persevering and fervent worshippers of Shiva, but he was used to worshipping only Shiva, wilfully neglecting the veneration of Shakti.
Through his spiritual practice, Bringi aimed to transcend the aspects of existence and it was because of that, he thought it was right to only worship Shiva, separating in his mind Shiva from the manifesting feminine energy (Shakti), from which Shiva was, in reality, inseparable and therefore permanently part of.
Once, the gods and sages went to stay full of devotion and adoration around Shiva and his lover Parvati, whose residence was Mount Kailasa. However, the fanatical devotee of Shiva, Bringi, began to insist, telling them that if they truly worshipped Shiva, being around Shiva was necessary.
Completely excluding Shakti (feminine energy) from the prayers that were offered to Shiva, Bringi unknowingly abandoned his vital, sustaining, feminine energy, which in reality came from Shakti (feminine energy) and which sustained him in his worship.
In order to give him a spiritual lesson and remove him from this limited and foolish state, Parvati made the fanatical devotee Bringi become physically only flesh and bones. His entire feminine energy (Shakti), which he continuously rejected with an almost crazy fervor, completely left his body and caused the poor Bringi to become, in a short
time, very weak and lacking almost any trace of energy, so that he was no longer capable of making even the smallest movement, being already impossible to move himself.
He continued, however, to stubbornly adore only Shiva. Full of endless compassion, Shiva offered his fanatical devotee a stick as support.Taking it with veneration, Bringi became so attached to that stick that after a short time it became just like a third leg for him.
Having now this new support that was received from Shiva, Bringi continued to worship only Shiva, misunderstanding even then the meaning of this spiritual lesson he had been taught.
Then, in order to help him to understand the inseparability between Shakti and Shiva, the lover of Shiva asked her Divine Master, Shiva, to assume for his devotee Bringi an appearance in which she was one with Shiva, and which would clearly express the inseparability that exists between Shiva and Shakti. In this situation Shiva assumed the hypostasis of Ardhanarishavara.
Everything is an interplay between masculine and feminine principles
In Shiva-Purana it is said that at the beginning of Creation, Brahma, the creator of the Universe gave birth first to the primordial beings, which were known as the parents of all other beings (Prajapati) and he assigned them certain responsibilities to create the different aspects in the world.
However, they could not fulfil their duty, because they believed that they were just expressions of the masculine principle, convinced that they lacked the creative manifestation power.
In these circumstances, Brahma fervently invoked Shiva
for help. Knowing already what the request of Brahma
was, Shiva appeared at once in the form that is called Ardhanarishvara, the one who is half- feminine and half masculine. The true fundamental nature of Shiva is transcendence and all the aspects of the universe could be created with ease, without any impediment. Therefore, every aspect that is created contains an unity between the masculine principle and the feminine principle.
Another symbolic story of Shiva is mentioned in Skanda- Purana. Here it is indicated that at a certain moment, Parvati, the lover of Shiva, wanted to be intimately and forever unite with Shiva, embracing him with the divine, macro-cosmic game.
Therefore, Hindu texts describe Shakti as being the lover of Shiva, because she is always inseparable from Shiva, either as the mother of Shiva, because Shiva comes from Shakti, or as the daughter of Shiva because she is the manifestation of Shiva.
In Hindu tradition Shiva and Shakti are just like ice and water, which in fact are the same substance in two different states of aggregation.
Fig 34 Sacred eroticism in Eastern traditions
Ardhanarishvara is one of the hypostases of Shiva and not one of the hypostases of Shakti or Devi.
Studying the sacred texts
The poet Kalidasa compares the inseparability between Shiva and Shakti with the inseparability between a word and its meaning or a letter and its pronunciation. The half-masculine – half – feminine hypostasis of Shiva is an illustration of some syncretic images, in which two different but complementary aspects are represented in a completely united state.
This androgynous hypostasis of Shiva represents an artistic work of the ideas presented in the symbolic form of the lingam, which also symbolizes the unity of the masculine symbol (Lingam) with the feminine aspect (Yoni). An important note is that this hypostasis Shiva-
It is derived from the Vedic description of Shiva as having two aspects, one terrible and the other beneficial. The terrible and destructive aspect (Urga) is represented by the masculine half while the feminine half represents the kind, delicate, and creative aspect (Saumnya).
In a Hindu manuscript dating from the 15th Century, this hypostasis of Shiva, Shiva-Ardhanarishvara, is very praised and it is stated that it was assumed by Shiva just to suggest to spiritual practitioners what the most profound significance of divine creation is in which the kind and terrible aspects emerge and are intimately interwoven.
Classical iconography treaties, such as Silparatna, Amsumat Veda and Supra Veda enumerate a great number of details about the difference between the two aspects that are brought into the state of unity.
Shiva-Ardhanarishvara is usually represented as having 2 arms, but there are representations of him with 3 or 4 arms, or with 8 arms, as in the temple of Darasuram. In the representation at Darasuram, Shiva-Ardhanarishvara also has 3 faces, while the other representation only has a single face.
In iconographic representations, the adaptation of the attributes that are the main masculine and feminine characteristics in the two halves of the body is done in today and various ways, however, the right half is always the one that represents the masculine principle and the left half is the one that represents the feminine principle.
If the iconographic representation has two arms, the right arm is the one that holds a human skull (kapala) or makes the secret gesture of protection (Abhaya Mudra), while the left arm is lowered in a graceful position or holds a flower or a mirror.
According to the Brihat-Samhita treaty, the right-hand holds the trident and bow. If the representation has 4 arms, the hands on the right side carry the weapons of Shiva, which are the battle axe (parashu), the trident (trishula), the hammer (tanka) or the rosary (akshamala), while the arms on the left side bear certain attributes of the feminine principle, such as the blue lily or makes balancing movements with the hands.
According to the work of Vishnudharmottara, the right hand has to hold the rosary and trident and the mirror and blue lotus are held in the left hands. On the forehead, the right-side bears half of the third eye, which
is characteristic of Shiva. The right eye has a penetrating look, while the left eye is calm and full of compassion. The arms on the right side are masculine and powerful, and the arms on the left side are delicate, graceful, and feminine.
The Brihan Narada-Purana treaty recommends that the feminine half is coloured black, while the masculine half is coloured yellow. One half should be clothed with a garment of silk and the other half should be naked. On one-half, there is a crown of lotus flowers and on the other half a crown of skulls.
The feminine half should be adorned with a set of bracelets, having a lot of jewellery, armbands, and rings, while the other half is left empty. Some representations of the hypostasis of Ardhanarishvara are depicted playing the musical instrument – Veena.
Here is a final description of the hypostasis Ardhanarishvara: "Having the form of a harmonious being, which is half- man and half-woman, with the hair on the right side braided into strands, in which the moon is caught, with the right half coloured red (aruna), wearing serpents as ornaments and a tiger skin, with the hand supported by a bull, his vehicle, and with the right leg slightly bent, and with the hands on the left side coloured black, holding a flower to his chest, with the left leg dressed in silk and having many ornaments of gold, this is Shiva the half man and half woman, Shiva-Ardhanarishvara.”
KEY INSIGHT
SHIVA HALF MAN AND HALF WOMAN IS SHIVA-
ARDHANARISHVARA
Written in 2018 at the suggestion of Bala Iyer, an indian leadership senior trainer living in Sweden.
THE HIDDEN CORE COMPETENCE OF AN EFFECTIVE LEADER
The distinction between core and non-core competence rests on a distinction between the relative impacts on leader effectiveness
“A core competence is the underlying capability that is the distinguishing characteristic of the organization. It is the way we do things, it is how we organize the way we do things, it is how we systematically communicate this knowledge and build on it, it is understanding the difference and building bridges between tangible and intangible assets, tacit and explicit knowledge, individual and team knowledge, and skill.”
John McGee, Professor of Strategic Management, University of Warwick
“A competence is a bundle of constituent skills and technologies rather than a discrete skill or technology and a core competence is the integration of a variety of individual skills.”
Gary Hamel
Strategy is a multi-faceted, complex, and sometimes confusing part of any executive’s life.
The word ‘strategy’ derives from strategia, the Greek term for ‘generalship’, the art of the general, with the earliest studies of strategy done by military commanders.
After Porter dominated the strategy theory landscape in the 80s, in early 90s a major new school of thought started to gain traction in the real world of business – the resource-based view of strategy.
Strategic positioning was inadequate, Prahalad and Hamel argued. The source of competitive advantage should come from within (the organization), not from a detailed analysis of markets and some subsequent
manoeuvring based on that analysis. What was really important, they said, was a company’s core competencies. Every company had its core competencies.
It was just a question of working out exactly what those core competencies were and then utilizing them to the best outcome. If Porter was an incremental but nevertheless a significant shift from static strategic planning, Prahalad’s and Hamel’s championing of core competencies was a big breakthrough.
Building on the same logic, a leader has at his/her disposal a limited resource-basis (e.g. limited vitality, limited capacity to deal with stress) and it might be better to define a strategy for how he/she will utilize those resources.
As in strategy, in leadership field there are many schools of thought on what is effective leadership, which can be
more confusing than enlightening.
To establish a common understanding of leadership, we define effective leaders as those who “activate, focus, and sustain sources of potential energy in people and organizations to achieve the selected goals.”
They define and communicate the company’s business mission/vision, establish business goals and strategies, design and transform organizational systems, shape organizational decision making, negotiate and build alliances,drive flawless execution and foster organizational
learning and adaptation. There are 3 levels of leadership: personal, people and business, each calling for different skills and capabilities.
To accelerate transformation the first major shift need to occur in personal leadership, as this is the base on which the other two are developed.
In this compendium of articles and precisely in this part, we shall focus on personal leadership arguing that the topic of how we approach eroticism in our lives is the key factor for personal leadership development. Knowing how to capture exceptional value out from erotic intimacy is a core competence that supplies multiple and multidimensional benefits.
What is Erotic Strategy?
The unique formula for success that forms the foundation of a leader life and governs a day-to-day behaviors related to this sensitive aspect.
This erotic strategy is not a definition and summary of what one should do in intimacy, but instead, it is an account of 5 key factors (essential in our view) that distinguish the leader from the common dogma and are most expected to contribute to the leader’s long-term success.
To be most effective, a leader’s erotic strategy should be clear, articulated,. and have at the centre “the biggest happiness of a man is the happiness of his woman and vice-versa”.
As the adage goes “happy woman, happy life”.The erotic strategy should be easily and frequently evaluated with your spouse/partner so that a cohesive and adjusted focus is always maintained. In a nutshell, erotic strategy is about choices made in your couple relationship under
excitement, entailing multiple behavioral choices that need to be aligned, integrated and consciously practiced…
… With happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, vitality, health, power, creativity for both making the choice to practice Superior Intimacy (otherwise a temporary tactic with limited impact)…
…With basal tendencies that require smart choices and trade-offs to build and sustain harmony, balance and vitality.
….Is based on self-awareness and self-control and its value is endorsed by practice. An effective erotic strategy contains 4 basic principles:
The building blocks are not instincts, desires or power but conscious control, transmutation, sublimation, and modulation processes
A leader's success depends on transforming these key (inner) processes into strategic inner capabilities that consistently provide superior value to the leader for his/ her professional endeavours.
A leader builds these capabilities up by making daily simple exercises in a conscious manner that transcends traditional dogma on erotic aspects.
Because such capabilities necessarily overpass erotic aspects and are used in professional challenges.
Erotic strategy is both complex and simple at the same time.
On the one hand, it draws on all emotions, behaviors, and beliefs, combining external forces and inner capabilities and involving the actions of both lovers. On the other hand, it is a set of choices an individual must make.
Why to develop an Erotic Strategy?
All leaders, from one-person start-ups to a global leader, should have an erotic strategy. Following a good, distinctive erotic strategy will ensure that a leader can build, maintain, and continually strengthen a specific creative identity in his professional life.
The erotic strategy will become the nucleus around which his/her intimate experiences are developed. It will also form a framework to help consider private life challenges that each of them face.
In addition, it will help set a consistent direction for development of other key inner areas (self-awareness, self-control, emotional intelligence, ethics).
A good erotic strategy endures year after year, and hence will tie together a couple relationship on a solid foundation for years to come.
A happy couple relationship has to start with fulfiled, complete, and integrative intimate experiences, build and gain trust one in each other, and create momentum with the energy generated through complete erotic continence.
Doing the same and getting the same its complacency. Unless you want to procreate you can’t just depend on experiencing the same old, outdated, and out-functional model.
To ensure happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, and ultimately success, one must embrace change and rewire his/her brain for change.
Drifting away from your Erotic Strategy
It is amazing to see so many leaders, after having had a few moderately successful attempts at practicing the model, going back to the “wham bam, thank you ma‘am” model, become lazy and completely forget the value of
semen retention and multiple orgasms (in simultaneity)
This will enable the couple to easily build upon previous accomplishments and have a meaningful life. Without a clearly defined or closely followed erotic strategy, leaders of all levels tend to lose sight of their direction when they ruin their biggest potential (through common discharge), enter into temporary professionally and personally difficulties or just gets bored operating with “the same old intimacy model.”
Why you can’t ignore the necessity of an Erotic Strategy
We see leaders not just frustrated (and often downright depressed) but also baffled when their couple relationship is another source of tension instead being a “secure-base” centre. Often they use to turn a blind eye to what is happening to the point there is nothing to save anymore.
for their identity.
The greatest risk of inertia is to not see the opportunities at hand. If erotic intimate experiences are no longer a part of your couple repertoire, would be a huge mistake to assume this has no importance for your spouse. Probably, he/she feels as embarrassed as you feel about it, even none of you speaks up.
Devoting a lot of your free time for anything else and avoiding couple erotic intimacy is undoubtedly a bad strategy. You’d think they are happy at home and very effective at office, right?
We have seen real-life examples of both of these specific cases that in most of the situations are not discussed. No business leader is immune to this appalling lack of erotic
strategic discipline – knowing that the erotic factor is the surest bullet to destroy a career (when managed badly), yet also the surest rocket to build a career (when managed smartly). To start the journey of becoming the next best version of yourself, ask 3 deceptively simple questions:
Love Integration
Low High
Who am I today? Who will I become tomorrow? How do I start making the change?
Remember that the biggest risk is not the action you take, it is trying fruitlessly to cling to the status-quo as the world changes around you.
However, whether you’re a leader in a large or a small organization, new or established, learn to accept and face a problem not only at office, but also in your romantic relationship.
Don't ignore it, it's there. So is the opportunity it will give birth to. But you can't begin to see the opportunity until you stop denying the problem.
Transfiguration
Complete Erotic Continence
Dignity
Assessment done by a couple – before the program – using 5Pillars Map
Low High
KEY INSIGHT
A LEADER BUILDS THESE CAPABILITIES UP BY MAKING DAILY SIMPLE EXERCISES IN A CONSCIOUS MANNER THAT TRANSCENDS TRADITIONAL DOGMA ON
EROTIC ASPECTS.
Written on Sept 2016, based on a presentation delivered to
Love Integration
Transfiguration
Grow
Grow
Maintain
MBA students, IMD Business School
Complete Erotic
Continence Dignity
Focus
Maintain
Vision board done together by the same couple
– after the Program – using 5Pillars Map
LEADERSHIP FROM THE HEART
Transform your intimate life to accelerate your leadership development
“The truth is that major capacities and competencies of leadership can be learned and we are all educable, at least if the basic desire to learn is there. In fact nurture is far more important than nature in determining who becomes a successful leader.”
Warren Bennis
“Superior Intimacy is not KAMA-SUTRA in leadership and is not about sex but about love, happiness, fulfilment and accelerated leadership progress. ”
Program Participant
Change begins with me, from within. It’s a favourite subject of consultants, scholars, and practitioners these days.
Meditation, breathing techniques, mental concentration exercises, and body postures are a means to create an exceptional inner resonance and to unleash unprecedented change inside,no matter the person profession,experience, profile or seniority.
Just consider Goldman Sachs, which introduced meditation into their culture and jumped twenty places in the 2014 US best employer rankings.
But, what about leadership that is based on love? A leadership that is rooted in intimate experiences based on erotic continence and intense love in a couple relationship.
A leader that is:
Empathic and not complacent Open, yet not manipulated Disciplined with care Confident, yet humble
Great disciple yet a brilliant master Articulated, yet an active listener
Strong on themselves, yet open to be influenced Inspired, yet with exemplary common sense and practical Bold, yet also prudent
Honest and challenging
Trustful, protective, and inspiring.
Similar to some extent to a mountain guide that knows
This works only when practiced with adequate methodology otherwise is just stretching or an interesting mental gym.
Love as a leadership manifesto
These are inside-out methods that are incredibly successful and as proof, large corporations do not hesitate to integrate them into their employee’s development programs.
how to overcome obstacles and traps on the path of leadership ascension. From experience, not from books.
Unfortunately, this is not seen or present in many companies. Which is not only a shame, it’s very short- sighted. Why?
Because leading with/from the heart is in its childhood phase in our days – it is not a common leadership style, neither learned nor studied at business schools or in corporate settings and not articulated on how to make it
happen. To push things even further we believe that the current global euphoria of emotional intelligence is only the first step towards the leadership with/from the heart.
A new old relationship: employer & employee (or dating for the faint of heart)
The employer/employee relationship is, in many ways, similar to dating or in some cases marriage.
It starts with courtship (the hiring process), moves through engagement (building deepening bonds and commitment), and if successful, ends up with a fulfiling long–lasting relationship.
If not successful, typically it ends up with a divorce because one falls in love with someone else or is leaving for something/someone else.
When wanting to measure the ‘health of a couple relationship’, one should start by asking about the love they feel for each other.
Is it mutual, is it equally intense and profound? Do they respect each other and are able to give space to each other? Do they have common goals?
Do they support and transfigure each other? Do they care about the other one’s satisfaction and fulfilment during their erotic intimate experience? Do they know how to maintain the spark alive? Are they – each of them – willing to make the relationship grow and thrive?
We think that is important to admit a common sense truth: if a man/woman does not know how to deal with what their spouse's heart needs, expectations, and what drives their happiness (and vice versa), should he/ she expect to score high on empathy, caring, bonding,
emotional control, and balance, no matter how many leadership classes or courses he/she will attend?
To create happiness in your bedroom you need skills,
knowledge, and dedication.
Current dogma on intimate experiences is weak, full of jargon and trivia. You need to understand the other one, lean, adjust, and improve. Blue pills are not a solution in the long term (just mentioning the adverse effects).
In our view, the concept of “fake it till you make it” does not work in the real-world of effective leadership. Just as a man cannot fake “being a man” in the bedroom, the same will happen when he is in a leadership role. Why? Just because the spouse or the people that surround him will notice in a second.
If you are able to create happiness for your significant other in the bedroom, you are also able to better deal with complexities, ambiguities, change, and uncertainties of the business you are in.
The bedroom is the space where you build your deep emotional intimacy, where you show your partner that you care for your couple and where you ultimately prove whether you are a responsible individual or not.
'What, a responsible leader?' the majority would exclaim in consternation. Yes, a responsible leader is one that has an intelligent approach for inner energy management. You should know that out that one gram of semen values 40 drops of blood
Reflect on the great leaders, in any field, who have inspired you. Typically, you don’t like them 100%, but you admire them. Because they somehow touch your heart. They show you something that transcends the everyday ordinary and the mundane stuff, they feed your
heart with positive affect, and engage you on multiple levels. They speak from the heart, talk the walk and walk the talk, live authentically, are continuous learners, humble and full of joy.
A joy that contaminates others and extracts meaning from
From a “care to dare” perspective (as GK might say), this is a practical catalyst for a remarkable transformation.
The biggest happiness of a man is the happiness of his
woman.
both failures and successes – they are able to articulate it
so that you can act upon on it.
The research that backs love
Emotionally, connected employees simply perform better. According to the Boston Consulting Group, since 2001, companies that have embraced the “whole persona” concept have consistently outpaced growth in S&P average cumulative share price by margins of up to 99 percent.
Gallup reports these additional benefits from the total quality of life programs:
37% lower absenteeism
48% fewer safety incidents
41% fewer quality defects
28% less inventory shrinkage
10% higher customer satisfaction and
Up to 22% higher profitability
These numbers are nothing less than a strong signal: a proof that love is a critical ingredient for leadership. So how do you bring leadership with/from the heart to your organization?
Try this practice: Just consider how is the design of your intimate erotic experiences?
Learning and practicing Superior Intimacy will make you (and your lover) able to experience profound states of love, happiness, and joy that last.
This means, first and foremost, that you learn how to have an inner laboratory for accelerated transformation.
You centre your attention in your heart, practice active listening, and respond when necessary. Otherwise you observe and learn.
This methodology that includes erotic continence, love, and transfiguration, complemented with a holistic approach is a practical tool with multiple and unexpected benefits for leadership.
This helps to polish your leadership competencies in a very fast way. This might create a new vision in any practitioner, regardless the age.
Because nowadays more and more organizations want to develop a holistic approach on people strategy, one that views and treats employees as well-rounded, balanced and happy individuals, not cogs in a large impersonal wheel.
It’s about love and not fulfilling instincts
It’s easy to roll our eyes on a taboo like eroticism based on love, mutual respect, transfiguration. This for sure is a complex subject which given the current dogma risks becoming a target for misunderstandings, ironies or rejection.
This simply scares most of the leadership pundits and experts, although many of them preach that responsible leadership is all about relationships and that you deliver profitable growth with people and through people.
What better mirror for your capacity to harmoniously relate you might find than your spouse?
Talking about the power of love in the workplace will create space for those that are cynical, and might dismiss all this as touchy-feely nonsense, fine in theory perhaps, but of little practical use. Common misconceptions!
We argue that this practice grows a new model of leadership
– the inner alchemist, the new frontier in the theory and practice of responsible leadership where work-life integration is much bigger and more important than work-life balance.
Think about the companies you most admire, look into their corporate culture and management practices, and we bet you that you will find love.
They may not call it that, but any company that actively cares about its people, and works with them hand-in- hand to build fulfilling, well-rounded lives is practicing the leadership with/from the heart that is based on love, mutual respect, and trust.
Do you observe some similarities with the dynamics of your couple relationship? However, as we all know erotic energy has a bad reputation. People don't treat it seriously although the issue is a burning one.
We think of this energy as a troublemaker, a problem, a “don’t touch” subject: this energy who seemingly can complicate everything and anything, create chaos, frustration, anxiety, and pain when is ignored or not addressed smartly.
Erotic energy is at the base of people who change the world for the better with their unconventional outlooks.
Instead of clinging to what is safe and familiar, and
falling back on routines and tradition, erotic continence practitioners defy the status quo. They are masters of innovation and reinvention, and they have a lot to teach us. We argue that the future belongs to the erotic continent practitioners — and that there’s an erotic continent leader in each of us.
We live in turbulent times, when competition is fierce, reputations are easily tarnished on social media, and the world is more divided than ever before. In this cut-throat environment, cultivating self-control and self-awareness are ways to evolve and to prosper for leaders.
KEY INSIGHT
CHANGE BEGINS WITH ME, FROM WITHIN.
Written on Sept 2015, based on a presentation delivered to
ESADE Business School
Playing For Inner Growth
The importance of heart-eye.
UTILIZED FOR POWER, VITALITY AND LONGEVITY, WOULD IT
WORK FOR LEADERSHIP DEVELOPMENT?
A free source of vitality within the reach of anybody
”When people tell you it's impossible, you're on the right track.“
George Lucas, filmmaker,
“A man lacking virility lacks life; he no longer has the capability of marvelling at things”.
Abhinavagupta, philoshopher, mystic and aesthetician
Learning from traditions
Though the text is esoteric and difficult to fully comprehend, it is highly valuable. In this text bodhicitta is an esoteric term for erotic energy.
”If there is leakage of bodhicitta, the Buddha Unchanging Light is slain, and since there is no superior presence to whom such a crime can be acknowledged and thus atoned, such karma as that of the Avichi Hell results.
Therefore, with the power of retraction, drawing up 'love' with the base energy of life-force, I held it in the pot
of my belly, and maintaining the recollection of pleasure
In summary the model is the harmonious interplay of five essential elements: mutual love, integration, transfiguration, complete erotic continence, and dignity.
It represents the quality of the mind or spirit that enables a person to control their inner impulses, transform them and use their erotic energy for superior, non – erotic purposes in their leadership development.
People who practice the methodology are 7 times as likely to report having an excellent quality of life and are 5 times more likely to be engaged in their jobs.
Dr. Stockham coined the term as ‘coitus reservatus' or ‘sublimated coitus' – a practical instrument to achieve youthfulness, longevity, vitality, and self-awareness.
Padmasambhava (lit."lotus-born"), known as Guru Rinpoche, he was an Indian tantric master who in the 8th century A.D., gave the following teaching to his consort and disciple Yeshe Tsogyal.
uncontaminated by lust, divesting myself of mind- created samadhi yet not slipping into an instant of torpor, I experienced the ascent of Awareness.” (In other words, by retaining sexual energy, consciousness is awakened.84) Quoted from "Sky Dancer: The Secret Life and Songs of the Lady Yeshe Tsogyel" by Keith Dowman (Penguin Books – 1989) (Fruition and Buddhahood, pp.155-7)
Buddha – “If there was any energy stronger than that of the sexual force, I would not have been able to reach enlightenment.”
Swami Shivananda Sarasvati (1887 – 1963), Great Yoga Master – "The energy wasted during one discharge is the same as the amount of energy that is spent in physical labor for ten days, or the energy that is used in mental work for three days. When Virya (semen) is used, it is transmuted into Ojas Sakti or ‘liquid light' and is stored up in the brain. Most of your ailments are due to seminal wastage."
Paramahansa Yogananda (1893 – 1952), Great Yoga Master – “A man loses about the equivalent of one quart of blood with every sexual discharge. It’s extremely important for one to learn sexual self-control.”
Peng Zu (1900 BC – 1066 BC), Great Tao Master – “There is no medicine, or food, and no spiritual salvation
Mantak Chia (1944 -) – “Sages consider one drop of semen equal in vital power to one hundred drops of blood. Hindu holy men refer repeatedly to Amrita, the elixir of life, a rejuvenation substance that may be produced during prolonged erotic activity without discharge.”
Raymond Bernard (1903 – 1965), PhD Education –
that can prolong a man‘s life if he fails to understand or
practice the harmony of sexual energy.“
Ni Hua Ching (1925 -) – "Essence, chi, and spirit are the three jewels of life! “ Book of Changes and the Unchanging Truth
Huang Di (2696 BC – 2598 BC), The Yellow Emperor
– "Through this one achieves youthfulness, longevity, and an increase in vitality. "
Thomas Cleary (1949 -), PhD Harvard University – "There are more than ten schools of bedroom arts. Some use them to repair the damage-some use them to cure sicknesses – some use them to draw on yin to enhance yang- some use them to add years and to extend life. What is most important and essential, however, is one thing alone: returning vitality to boost the brain."
Jewish Code Of Laws- Sec. Orach Chaim. – Ch. 240; Parag. 14 – "The strength of the body, the light of the eyes, and the entire life of the man are slowly being lost by too much loss of the vital fluid."
Gunther Weil (1928 -), PhD Harvard – "Unfortunately, our lives are powerfully affected by this loss of personal erotic self-knowledge. As a society, we have chosen to ignore what the great spiritual traditions once understood about erotic energy and its role in personal transformation and spiritual evolution."
"Scientific evidence points to the fact that the human seminal fluid contains substances of great physiological
value that are highly beneficial to our health. "
Edwin Flatto, MD (1920 – 2017) – “This new science is based upon thousands of years of study, observation, and experimentation. It has been refined and developed to a new degree, thus entitling it to the appellation “new”. The science of seminal conservation allows you to conserve seminal fluid for nourishing, improving, and perfecting your body and brain when reproduction is not mutually desired.”
Dr. Gunther Dorner (1929 -), Endocrinology Institute Humboldt – "Sex hormones… don‘t just suddenly appear out of nowhere at puberty. Nor do they just meander about the body. They know where to go. The cells that are their targets have already been primed in the womb to respond to the hormones that are now being produced. This is true of the body, of the reproductive organs, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys, and brain."
Mahatma Gandhi (1869 – 1948) – “The scientists of old have put great value upon the vital fluid and they have insisted upon its strong transmutation into the highest form of energy for the benefit of society.”
Havelock Ellis (1893 – 1952) – “The stuff of the sexual life is the stuff of art; if it is expended in one channel it is lost for the other.”
As affirmed by many great sages, death is hastened by letting out semen from the body; life is saved and prolonged by preserving it.
Shiva Samhita – "There is no doubt that people die prematurely by letting the semen out of the body; knowing this, the Yogi should always preserve semen."
Atharva Veda – “Brahmacharya is the greatest among religious observances.”
"Divine Inspiration: The Secret of Eternal Youth" – A spiritual aspirant grieves for his lost semen in the same way as a lustful wife pines for her husband.”
Dhanvantari – "I tell you that Brahmacharya is truly a precious jewel. It is the one most effective medicine — nectar indeed — which destroys diseases, decay and death.
For attaining peace, brightness, memory, knowledge, health, and Self-realization, one should practice Brahmacharya, which is the highest Dharma. Brahmacharya is the highest knowledge; Brahmacharya is the greatest strength.
Of the nature of Brahmacharya is verily this Atman and in Brahmacharya it resides. Saluting Brahmacharya first, the cases beyond cure, I cure. Aye, Brahmacharya can undo all the inauspicious signs."
Through a systematic practice you will develop empathy, discover potential blind spots in your relationships, and identify opportunities to transform your couple relationship.
A major benefit of this practice is the exponential growth
of your inner energy.
The practitioner is going to work, inspire, and to charge others with positivity, convince them to buy in their ideas, have more positivity than negativity in their interactions, treat customers better tell their friends they work for a great company, achieve more on a daily basis, create more positive and innovative moments in their teams.
People who focus on and use their inner energy efficiently are 5 times as likely to report as having an excellent work-life
integration.
KEY INSIGHT
TRADITIONS ARE CLEAR-CUT ON THE SUBJECT.
SCIENCE IS COMING..
Written after a discussion with a world-class leading authority on Tantra,Taoism and Couple Relationship, 2016
WHY INNER ENERGY MATTERS?
Flourishing individuals are a prerequisite to flourishing organizations
”Leadership is not just about giving energy … it's unleashing other people's energy.“
Paul Polman, former CEO Unilever
"The ability to subordinate an impulse to a value is the essence of the proactive person.“
Stephen Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Researchers have tried to break down how optimism and inner energy help or hinder leadership effectiveness regardless of the leader's level in the organizational hierarchy.
Is there such a thing as being too positive in how you
that massages the abdominal organs, alleviates digestive ailments and constipation, regulates the function of adrenal glands, while also enhancing courage, confidence, creativity, and social intelligence, as it increases the cerebral circulation in the brain.
Additionally, it eradicates anger, aggression, and relaxes the mind – only if done systematically, with attention and perseverance for 49 days, at least 3 minutes daily, with proper attention and lucid awareness at the end of the execution78.
Positive energy means you're able to see opportunity even when faced with what might seem like a failure at
a first glance.
approach happiness, meaning, and achievement? Is
optimism simply a perspective that some people are born with? Or is it developed through deliberate practice?
How does a leader's energy presence, pessimism or optimism, impact their team and their leadership effectiveness? Do people of different cultures, beliefs, streams of religion, hold the same view on optimism as science?
These are some of the questions you might consider when you think on the right dose of optimism.
Their answers can help us understand the nuances of these important skills.
People are born optimists – the good news is that you can develop and amplify this energy, just as you can enhance physical skills through daily practice of Supta-Vajrasana (Reclined Thunderbolt Pose – a body posture from Yoga)
What is positive energy?
You see the situation as an opportunity to experience and learn something new out of it. You expect that changes in the future will be for the better. This view combines different strands of rigorous scientific research on optimism and inner energy.
One of them (the work of Martin Seligman, University of Pennsylvania) deals with how people explain to themselves the good or bad situations they encounter79.
Some people blame themselves for bad things that happen and assume that such setbacks will continue to occur and will impact everything they do.
Others think that setbacks are situational, caused by a variety of forces – not due to some personal failing – that things will improve, and that they have the capabilities
to shift things for the better. This is where understanding the principle of resonance becomes helpful for leaders who want to make the shift in a shorter time frame.
I can climb Mount Everest, but I realize that optimism won't get me up that mountain unless I seriously prepare for an extended period of time for high altitude climbing.
Why does positive energy matter to leaders? It’s no
surprise that research by Barbara Fredrickson at the University of North Carolina shows that positive energy leads to positive emotions.
What matters in leadership effectiveness is the knock- on effect that is now accepted by large organizations: intense positive emotions increase performance, loyalty, motivation, engagement, decision making, influencing, happiness at work and customer service.
Now, consider the fact that the intense emotions of leaders shape the feelings of the people around them for better or worse.
Emotional contagion happens – either you want it or not
Such "emotional contagion" has been extensively studied by Sigal Barsade at the Wharton School of Management. In a recent Harvard Business Review article, Dr. Barsade and a colleague detail how the leaders’ intense emotions can build, create and sustain a positive emotional culture and enhanced performance80.
Too optimistic? However, you should not be a Pollyanna: several studies point to the dangers of too much optimism.
Reality matters and offers sometimes brutal wake-up calls. For example, people who are chronically anxious find it helpful to use "defensive pessimism" to consider and prepare for a range of possibilities, and not only for the best-case scenario.
In some situations, realism is a tempering influence to help us not to leap into something that is actually beyond our ability. For example, I might feel truly positive that
Harvard research finds that the most successful entre-
preneurs have a realistic sense of optimism based on the
strengths they know they have.
Entrepreneurs who fail too often are victims of their own excessive optimism. On the other hand, there are those who never take any risks because their pessimism leads them to underestimate their own capacities.
Another case of "too much optimism really close to hallucination" comes into play because of cultural differences. What comes across as optimistic, positive energy in American culture can be seen as arrogance or "who do you think you are" syndrome in Europe. Likewise, in many Asian countries, bubbly optimism comes across as too self-promoting or bold.
How to develop self-regulation and build high inner energy?
One of the best ways to build high positive energy is to be smart about eroticism in your couple relationship and design change using the pillars of mutual love, integration, transfiguration, and dignity.
We call smart eroticism willingness and capacity to practice erotic continence. An excellent training for the self- awareness muscle, which grows and strengthens through the practice. As you become more self-aware, you start to notice and monitor everything that is happening inside and outside your being.
In other words, you switch off from auto-pilot mode to a conscious approach. Then your performance will change.
For sure. The basic premise (for both men and women) is to notice what's happening within yourself during those passionate, intense, and profound moments and learn
Energy, after all, is contagious — especially so if you’re a leader, by virtue of your disproportionate position and power.
how to access the high energy that is generated and how
to circulate that energy within your being.
Repeating the 4 steps canvas "control, generate, circulate, and modulate" will make the system to wire and to fire new connections in your brain.
It thus becomes easier for your thoughts, intense feelings, and inner experience to help you build inner energy. You are essentially re-wiring the neural circuits, and rapidly building new habits. For example, how do you react when you see that your team's sales dropped in the past quarter?
Despite all the energy invested, all meetings and motivational programs, do you feel the weak energy of the team is the causal factor for lower digits that signal a downward trend?
If so, create a list of the ways your team can boost inner energy, remind yourself of the positive upside, and move on to the execution of those initiatives. However, the practice is a question of individual choice, given the current dogma.
Still, we recommend all leaders to start implementing those steps – "control, generate, circulate, and modulate" – throughout their intimate experiences that will quickly build the pathways of positive energy, vitality, and happiness in your brain and entire being. Then your performance will change.
The CEO is the Chief Energy Officer – above all else, a leader is the chief energy officer. The most fundamental job of a leader is to recruit, mobilize, inspire, focus, direct, and regularly refuel the energy of those they lead.
The way you’re feeling at any given moment profoundly
influences how the people who work for you feel.
How they feel, in turn, profoundly influences how well they perform. A leader’s responsibility is not to do the work of those they lead, but rather to fuel them in every possible way to bring the best of themselves to their jobs every day.
Think about the best boss you’ve ever had
What adjectives come to mind to describe that person? We have asked this question of thousands of people over the past decade, and here are the ten most common answers to this question: Encouraging – Inspiring – Kind – Positive – Calm – Supportive – Fair – Decisive – Smart – Visionary.
Only 3 of those qualities have anything to do with intellect. More than two-thirds are emotional qualities — and they’re all positive ones. No one has ever said to us, “What I loved about my boss is how furious he got. It showed me how much he cared.”
Negative emotions may prompt instant action, but they don’t inspire people in the long term. Even in small doses, negative energy can take a considerable toll on people.
In one study, workers who felt unfairly criticized by a leader or felt they had a leader who didn’t listen to their concerns had a 30% higher rate of coronary disease than those with leaders they felt treated them fairly and were concerned with their welfare. Leaders lead not just by the actions they take, but by the way they make us feel along the way81. It’s not false or half-hearted praise most of us are
looking for,but rather simple recognition and appreciation for the real effort and for our tangible contributions. Kevin Kruse, the author of Employee Engagement 2.0 ran an interview study of over 200 productive people including 7 billionaires, 13 Olympians, 20 straight-A students and over 200 successful entrepreneurs asking a simple, open-ended question, "What is your number one secret to productivity?82".
15 ideas resulted among which we find the ability to focus, consistency, planning skills, delegation, smart time management, and above all energy.
Inner energy is everything. "You can't make more minutes in the day, but you can increase your inner energy which will increase your attention, focus, decision making, and overall productivity."
You might not be an entrepreneur, Olympian or millionaire—yet these techniques just might help you to get more done in less time, and help you to stop feeling so overworked and overwhelmed.
As a world-class brain surgeon and Stanford University Medical School professor, Dr. James Doty is nevertheless certain that “the best way of influencing human beings to excel in their jobs is to intentionally and positively affect their hearts.”
These surprising words are found in his New York Times best selling book, Into The Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon’s Quest To Discover The Mysteries Of The Brain And The Secrets Of The Heart – and amplify recent medical discoveries that prove the heart plays a far greater role in influencing human behavior than most of us have ever known.
Dr. Doty book's explains how the mind and heart are connected – and what this means for the future of workplace leadership.
But as the Director of Stanford’s Center for Altruism and Compassion Research – and a physician to employees in the Silicon Valley, he brings surprising insight into what employees truly want and need in exchange for work.
And even though companies like Google and Facebook are known as great places to work, Doty’s take isn’t quite as glowing.
“What people really need and want,” Doty says, “is love.” How he landed on this conclusion is the underlying theme of his latest book.
KEY INSIGHT
YOUR INNER ENERGY IS A LIMITED RESOURCE THAT REQUIRES ATTENTION AND PROPER TOOLS TO
RECOVER.
Ideas and new perspectives after attending the Global Leadership Summit in London, UK, June 2015
KEY
”Know thyself.”
Socrate
of our life for the purpose of achieving wealth, happiness, love,
LEARNING POINTS
Want to become OUTSTANDING
in the boardroom?
START
with strategy! Which strategy?
“When you can measure
what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind; it may be the beginning of knowledge, but you have scarcely in your thoughts advanced to the stage of science, whatever the matter may be.”
Lord Kelvin
Science has concluded that our pleasure pathway plays a much greater role in our lives than just the survival of the species. It is now believed that the reward system has to be sufficiently stimulated as often as daily, if we are to feel, function and perform to
OUR MAXIMUM POTENTIAL.
“I learned that sexuality is the highest form of transmutable energy. In other words, we all have the ability to transfer our creative sexual energy into other areas
health, and any other positive
benefits we seek.”
A practical methodology of how to find, nurture, and boost happiness, vitality, and effective leadership in moments of intense
connection in your couple relationship.
“Sages consider 1 DROP OF SEMEN equal in vital power to 100 DROPS OF BLOOD. Hindu holy men refer repeatedly to Amrita, the elixir of life, a rejuvenation substance that may be produced during prolonged erotic activity without discharge.”
"Scientific evidence points to the fact that the human seminal fluid contains substances of great physiological value and that are highly beneficial to our health."The
key to success is to fully understand and be able to tap into this source of inner energy in your everyday life.
"THE BIGGEST HAPPINESS OF A MAN IS THE HAPPINESS OF HIS WOMAN AND VICE-VERSA."
A PRACTICAL FRAMEWORK FOR HAPPINESS,
satisfaction, fulfilment, and even more important, new inner traits development.
Self-directed neuroplasticity, epigenetics, and the principle of deliberate practice explain the process of new inner traits development.
ORGASM AND DISCHARGE ARE 2 DISTINCT FUNCTIONS.
Women do not need special preparation to start practicing Superior Intimacy in a couple relationship.
Superior Intimacy develops the capacity to become multi-orgasmic and the capacity for non-discharge in simultaneity.
The analysis and recommendations we provide in this material are based on 3 avenues of research: formal primary research, informal findings, and personal practical experience.
In our research, qualitative analyses identify positive affect as a
consequence of the erotic continence events, as well as a concomitant of the lovemaking process.
At the end of 19th century, people started to do jogging and the scientists of the time asked: ”Why do you run? Who is chasing you?". Fast forward today and
SEE REALITY.
A study done in 2010 found that erotic intimate experiences causes cell growth in the hippo-
campus, a region of the brain that's instrumental to long-term memory. This means intimate experiences can help prevent the decay that leads to memory loss and dementia.
People who focus on and use their inner energy efficiently are five times as likely to report as having
an excellent work-life integration.
Superior Intimacy is neither a course in erotic education nor contraceptive method by
withholding discharge.
If this aspect only is considered, then one is missing the value of Superior Intimacy.
People who engage erotic intimacy are 7 times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life and are 5 times more likely to be engaged in their jobs.
Why Erwin Schrödinger, the father of quantum mechanics, practiced
a different model of intimate experiences ?Why Steve Jobs was also interested on this aspect?
PRACTICE OF SUPERIOR
TRANSFIGURATION SELF-AWARENESS COMMON SENSE RECOGNITION FORGIVENESS
HUMBLENESS
PRACTICE OF SUPERIOR
SELF-CONFIDENCE EFFORT CAPACITY HEROIC ATTITUDE
INTIMACY MODEL
DEDICATION
GENTLENESS FRIENDSHIP SIMPLICITY KINDNESS FREEDOM HONESTY ALTRUISM EMPATHY DIGNITY FIDELITY LOVE
INTIMACY MODEL
RESPONSIBILITY SELF-CONTROL WILL-POWER EFFICIENCY ENTHUSIASM GENEROSITY DYNAMISM GOODWILL INITIATIVE OPTIMISM DARING HUMOR
NERVE
Fig. 35 Directing inner energy in different areas is associated with specific traits that could be developed. In Freud’s view sublimation is the process of transforming libido into "socially useful" (non-erotic) achievements, re-channelling or re-directing
its drives which cannot find an outlet into acceptable forms of expression, such as art or other form of creativity.
PART TWO
A love-centred approach to leadership development
“All leaders must know that the heart can have more influence on his/her success than his/her brain. "
NSPIRE
WHY BEING HAPPY AT HOME MATTERS A LOT
Science proves: happiness accelerates your success
“When people are financially invested, they want a return.When people are emotionally invested, they want to contribute.”
Simon Sinek, Start with Why
“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.”
Albert Schweitzer, Nobel Prize Winner Philosophy
Managing stress is essential
Modern technology made us contactable all the time. As a consequence, work invaded our private lives and insidiously took over more and more time theoretically reserved for our families.
Work-life imbalance is a serious threat for both our physical and emotional health and our professional outcomes. Even on our short vacations we found ourselves clubbed with work, in the happy case we take time for a vacation.
Quality family time is getting invaded by the omnipresence of media and the internet.
of the liver and suicide8. People who adopted stress as part of their lives experience different stages of suffering and unwittingly pass on their stress to their families, co- workers and friends.
Stress is a silent insidious killer.
Science has drawn attention about it many times. First visible effects are immune-system deterioration and inflammation.
People who experience stress don’t even imagine there’s an enemy that captured their mind and is slowly eating up their health.
Stress affecting community at large, workers, children, spouses, families and it’s spreading effects has been studied for decades now.
The lack of work-life balance has been correlated to low psychological well-being, stress-related ailments, low physical resistance, etc. The damage is huge.
To reduce the waste in productivity, creativity, and turnover, many companies are nowadays equipping
themselves with meditation spaces and fitness centres
The majority of people – 90% enter a physician office for stress-related ailments.
The adverse health effects from stress are deteriorating or well-being and quality of life, slowing down our productivity and ability to face life challenges. The first 6 in a causes of death ranking worldwide looks like that: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis
where employees can relieve stress during their working hours.
Also,they provide a stuff ofphysical therapists continuously available for any concerns, with no additional costs for employees. In some organizations work-life integration programs drove low turnover rate of 3%, low absenteeism, high employee and customer satisfaction10. A recent
study conducted by Oregon University professors revealed that a happy home life has a deep impact on immersion and productivity at work and on overall work mood.
Specifically, workers having an active erotic life are much more engaged and satisfied that those who are stressed and tensed at home. The quality of your home life can make or break your professional life.
Beyond all that conservative convictions still used that personal life has nothing to do with professional life and should never be mixed, there is the obvious reality that the 2 life domains are deeply interconnected.
Failing to address your satisfaction in one area can cause a self-perpetuating spiral.
It's common sense to recognize that dissatisfaction at home leads to dissatisfaction at work, which leads to even more stress at home, and so on.
Economists for the University of Warwick have discovered that happiness led to a 12% uplift in productivity, while unhappy workers proved 10% less productive11.
better when a person is feeling positive. This leads to enhanced creativity and a better capacity of solving problems. Additional research emphasized that happy workers are better collaborators and are more prone to act toward common team goals.
In his 12 years researching happiness at Harvard, Achor found that cultivating a positive mindset could boost well-being and improve workers' performance on many levels, from productivity to creativity and engagement.
"People who cultivate a positive mindset perform better in the face of challenge," he wrote in Harvard Business Review in 2012. "I call this the 'happiness advantage' – every business outcome shows improvement when the brain is positive."
Smart companies, Anchor continues, should take the right step when they understand that “happiness leads to greater levels of profits”.
At Google, employee satisfaction rose 37% as a result of the initiatives for diminishing stress effects – suggesting that financial incentives aren’t at all enough to make for highly productive employees12.
In other words, human happiness has large and positive
causal effects on productivity. Positive emotions proved themselves to be boosters for the majority of capacities needed at work.
Professor Andrew Oswald, one of the 3 researchers who led the study, said that companies which invest in employee support and satisfaction tend to succeed in generating happier workers.
Conventional thinking has it that pursuing success will lead to happiness, but research has shown that it may be just the opposite. In The Happiness Advantage, Shawn Anchor upholds the idea that the brain visibly works
A recent Gallup survey found only 13% of employees are engaged at work. This leads to the frightening conclusion that the majority of workers does not enjoy their work.
In mathematics language, this state of things costs US companies roughly $450–$550 billion annually.Alexander Kjerulf, founder of Woohoo Inc. and the organization's "chief happiness officer", names happiness "the ultimate productivity booster."
Just because happy employees, in his view, make better decisions, know how to smartly manage their time, and
possess other crucial leadership skills14. If companies would invest in their employees' welfare and workplace happiness, this will reflect in a short time on the outcomes.
Encouraging employees to find integration between their work and home lives should be a part of any company’s strategy. (Fig 8). Also it is at the utmost importance to educate employees in recognizing early warning signs of burnout, which is a continuous state of physical and mental exhaustion.
According to the American Journal of Nursing, a state of burnout can cause employees to become disconnected from both work and home because they don’t have enough energy to sustain both lives.
Dissatisfaction at work, high expectations, perfectionism, high organizational pressure, an emotional threatening environment at work – all can lead to burnout and this syndrome has ravaging effects on both private and professional life.
Some psychology research suggests that we all have a happiness "baseline" that largely determines people states and implicitly their well-being. Most of individuals move around this baseline, becoming happier when something good happens or the opposite, afterwards returning to equilibrium. Depending on the intensity of the emotion one can re-balance or not, in a certain amount of time.
However, this baseline, to a certain degree, can be reset. Although our general states levels and well-being are partially determined by factors like genetics and upbringing, roughly 40 percent of people happiness is within their control, according to some scientists, and an interesting line of research in the field of positive psychology has suggested that happiness is a choice that anyone can make.
HAPPY
BROKEN
Fig.36 A typical relationship pattern without an intimate strategy.Why not a new erotic strategy?
Source: Adapted from Nick Frey and Peter Killing
People can alter their life by altering their attitude if they persevere enough. For example, self-awareness is an important key-factor in being well-balanced.
When one is aware of their tendencies, actions, emotional states and thoughts, this leads to inner growth and development.
Happiness could be as simple (and difficult) as pay more attention to the present moment. Meditation – a practice that anyone can do, anywhere, so long as they're willing to exercise – is thought to be not only an excellent enabler but also a happiness-booster.
University of Wisconsin Psychology Professor Richard Davidson showed that a meditation practice might help to shift brain activity from the right frontal area of the
brain (associated with depression, anxiety and worry) to the left, which has been found to correlate with feelings of happiness, excitement, joy and presence.
We present here the concept of the change curve to explain the typical order of people’s reaction to change. By observing your couple dynamics closely, you can
understand where you are along the change curve and
When you are aware of what happens in your inner
choose what to do. (Do this evaluation together!)
universe, you know what brings you joy, inner peace,
satisfaction, balance, and motivation and you act consequently in the journey toward your goals.
Empowering your employees to take control of their work and home lives can have a profound impact on their job satisfaction and performance, enabling you to do what's best and most effective for your organization.
The Change Curve
Overall, it's important to encourage employees to be self- aware about their own personalities and tendencies, as some people are more prone to imbalances than others.
One should always exercise self-awareness in order to determine what brings satisfaction, inner peace, and balance in different areas of their lives. This will drive a more productive setting-goals process.
Empowering your employees to take control of their work and home lives can have a profound impact on their job satisfaction and performance, enabling them to do what's best and most effective for your organization.
Change has an important impact on people in terms of what they do, how they do it, where they do it or, in some cases, if they will even be needed to do it… the change curve, or transition curve, helps us to understand the emotions that couples may go through when changing.
When faced with change in the professional or in their personal lives, most couples go through a certain range of reactions (emotional, mental, behavioral).
Keep in mind that couple relationship may be at different stages of change curve at different times.
The idea of a change curve is not new and has been around for years. Each of us goes through it: the highs and lows of dealing with change.
However, the change curve is nothing more than our response to change, and it’s based on a combination of psychological models including Kurt Lewin’s 1952 3-phase model of social change and Elisabeth Kubler- Ross’s Five Stages of Grief model that explains people’s reaction to death.
Throughout the years, many organizational scientists and behavioral psychologists developed, expanded, and interpreted the change curve to reflect the emotional, mental or behavioral reactions of people to transitions and change.
KEY INSIGHT
OUR LIFE EXPERIENCES INFLUENCE OUR PRODUCTIVITY AND PERFORMANCE.
Written after our participation at Happiness Festival, Saint-
Miguel de Allende, Mexico, March 2018
What are the key predominant states in our couple relationship? Is the current context favourable or do we anticipate problems? How are his/her needs, wants, aspirations, and states evolving?
What are the behaviors that are valued by my partner? What do I do to manage the gap between your intentions and what’s perceived? (if any) How is this evolving? What are the key implications from this?
Are intimate experiences a key element that brings happiness, satisfaction, and fulfilment in your couple relationship? How is this evolving? What we (both) can do to improve this?
WHAT IS MY ACTION PLAN?
Are there valuable emotional, rational, and spiritual moments (beside your intimate experiences) that are consciously generated, maintained and cultivated in our couple relationship? How is this evolving? What we can do to improve?
Is there a bi-directional communication channel that is based on love, trust, clarity, and care? Am I an active listener? Are we improving our communication skills in our couple relationship?
Fig.37 Managing for success, happiness, and fulfilment – Evaluate your couple relationship.
YOUR SPOUSE IS THE SECRET TO SUCCESS
Behind every successful man is a smart woman and vice-versa
”Obviously I couldn't have done anything that I've done without Michelle.You were asking earlier what keeps me sane, what keeps me balanced, what allows me to deal with the pressure. It is this young lady right here… Not only has she been a great first lady, but she is also just my rock. I count on her in so many ways every single day.“
Barrack Obama
”Priscilla's the most important person in my life so you can say, it's the most important thing I built in my time here.“
Mark Zuckerberg
Love your spouse
Who you marry doesn’t affect just your happiness at home
your spouse can also play a major role in your career prosperity, according to new research from Washington University in St. Louis.
This new study, released in an edition of Psychological
to assess participants’ scores in 5 broad areas of personality
openness, extraversion, agreeableness, neuroticism, and conscientiousness. They also monitored the on-the-job performance of working spouses by using annual surveys intended to measure professional success. Each employee provided self-reports related to job satisfaction, wage rises, and the likelihood of being promoted17.
While many other findings have shown it’s helpful to have a spouse who ranks high in agreeableness, this study shows that workers with the most professional success had spouses who scored high for conscientiousness in the personality assessments.
Conscientious people also show self-discipline, act dutifully, strive for achievement, and prefer planned activities over spontaneous events. Conscientiousness is characterized by a tendency to be organized and reliable. What can we learn from the study?
Spouses who can truly support advance your professional development go beyond simply encouraging you to ask for that raise or apply for that new job.
Science, found that when it comes to professional
development it’s not only your personality that matters.
Professional success strongly depends on having a
spouse who knows how to maintain a couple-life out-
Your spouse’s personality also affects your professional success.
The 5-year research examined 5,000 married individuals between 19 to 89 years old. 75% of the sample included households where both spouses professionally active. Researchers conducted a series of psychological evaluations
side of work challenges and to operate smoothly, with
an open and caring heart.
If you're not in a romantic relationship – and you're concerned about your personal growth – a prospective mate’s conscientiousness may be worth considering. If you’re already married and you’re concerned that
your spouse’s personality isn’t exactly advancing your professional life, don’t run out and get a divorce with the hope of benefiting your career.
Most of the research indicates the stress of divorce generates decreased productivity for about 5 years18. Perhaps the most important takeaway from the study is that we should develop an awareness of how our own personalities (behaviors included) affect our partners' well-being and success.
Simply being aware of the characteristics and behaviors that may help – as well as hinder – one another can go a long way to working together as a team to reach your goals19. Many successful people have discussed the importance of having their spouse by their side.
spouses work – a conscientious spouse promoted career success anyway. Inherently arises the question: what are the concrete, pivotal ways in which someone as a spouse can nurture his/her partner’s career? There are 3 major directions to follow:
In a completely aware and committed way, to take over the day-today tasks – paying bills, shopping for groceries and cooking, doing laundry, being attentive to the other one’s basic needs in order to help him/her to free up and concentrate on the professional requirements.
To be the behavioral role model for you working spouse. Adopt and practice emotionally intelligent ways of acting in your couple relationship – like being diligent, being
reliable, being honest about your emotions, being willing
People with supportive spouses are "more likely to give themselves the chance to succeed,"
*Study by Carnegie Mellon University
Brooke Feeney, lead author of the study mentioned above and Professor of Psychology at Carnegie Mellon, claimed they found evidences that being able to pursue a job opportunity and having the spouse’s support matters a lot for someone’s well-being. Marrying for love will make he/she more willing to support your career he argues.
A 2014 study from the Washington University also claims your spouse can facilitate your career success. More specifically, your spouses’ personality traits can have an impact over their partner’s professional outcomes.
Conscientiousness is essential
The capacity of a spouse to give support, to be conscientious has the same big influence over someone’s professional performance, either we talk about a man or a woman. Instead, it has no importance if only one or both
to improve and continuously learn, acknowledging your mistakes, so he/she can harness and integrate them in his/her personality till they become skills.
Thus, will be much more easier to progress at work – when having a laboratory for transformation at home.
To be preoccupied of nurturing a peaceful, harmonious environment at home. Home should be the relaxing oasis for recharging batteries and finding inspiration.
The conscientious spouse can be the alchemist for this ingredient which can be the key for having a healthy work-life balance and career advancement. Scientists measured career success depending on 3 factors: income, job satisfaction, and the likelihood of being promoted.
The conclusion was that the success of a person’s career is deeply related to his/her spouse level of conscientiousness. Earning more money over time, increased job satisfaction, and chances of promotion – are all facilitated by having a highly conscientious spouse. The explanation is intuitive
and doesn’t need much argumentation. A conscientious spouse might create a space free of tasks at home so that the other spouse can save his/her energy.
In a corporate language, it’s all about outsourcing the household activities and day-by-day duties. For this, the aspiring-to-success spouse needs an organized, efficient, and reliable partner who can handle well all these out- of -job activities and responsibilities. To compensate for
these efforts, they might feel the need to emulate their conscientious spouses, to be kind, grateful, and emanate an inspiring energy, to pick up on behaviors so that they can not reproached for being sloth.
In the end, all it’s about the fact having a loving partner who is capable of creating harmony, of being empathetic, and willing to adapt and help, providing to the significant other the opportunity to be happy at work too.
MANAGING THE ENERGY POT
Wasted Energy
(Allocated to Maintaining Self-Control, Monitoring Body
Language, etc.)
Energy Left for Creativity, Openness, Inspiration, Productive Listening, Processing, and Responding
Under positive experiences conditions
Under stressful conditions
Fig.38 Smart couple build creative solutions, poor ones spend time (again and again) arguing of problems.Your spouse can fill up your inner energy pot in a very effective way. It's not about knowledge, expertise or power, but about inner energy.
It’s important to emphasize that only married heterosexual couples were included in this study, but the effects were the same if the conscientious spouse was a man or a woman and was of less significance if the conscientious spouse was a stay-at-home partner or also had a job.
Your spouse can accelerate or slow down your career
Nonetheless, should not be mandatory to have a conscious spouse for ascending in your career. This can a be a strong advantage, but still there are couples who are happy and get along in the long run when they both focus on their own career. This should not be an impediment for having a happy family life or professional success.
"The ideal relationship is one in which both partners offer caring, non-judgemental, and partner-focused support.21"
Ultimately, these factors named above can empower both partners to pursue opportunities in their careers. A special attention should be paid to offering a sincere unconditional support and smart advice when the other one has to make a decision and not try to guide the counselled partner in the direction that serves their own interests.(Fig.38)
Cristopher Hall, a counsellor and an Associate Professor at the University of North Carolina at Wilmington, pointed out that both couple partners should be aware of not, consciously or unconsciously, use the other one for personal gain.
We might add that this draws the relationship in an area of bargain, barter and “friends with benefits”, which has nothing to do with love, inner growth, and smart eroticism.
Your spouse could contribute valuable insights
Partners can provide insight into your work life that you might not otherwise have. Partners can provide to each other valuable insights for the work life. They can play the role of a psychological mirror, which can help the other one to objectify, to rise above his role pattern and have a helicopter view.
They can contribute by giving feed-back, suggesting new ways of approach or action, bring to light unseen opportunities or even helping on building-up essential arguments.
Giving the fact that nobody knows someone better than his/her spouse, they can offer perspectives and ideas that would otherwise cost a lot of time and money paid to an executive coach
KEY INSIGHT
EACH OTHER COULD BE A SECURE-BASE FOR THE
OTHER.
Written after our participation at "Wisdom Together"
Summit, Munchen, Germany, 2017
THE ROLE OF POSITIVE EMOTIONS IN LEADERSHIP
Positive emotion fuel attention, resilience, creativity, the ability to learn fast, make better decision quicker, capacity to cope, and remove the unwanted effects of negative emotional arousal
”A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.“
Max Muller, ex-Professor Oxford
”Employees' moods, emotions, and overall dispositions have an impact on job performance, decision making, creativity, turnover, teamwork, negotiations, and leadership.“
Sigal Barsade, PhD,Wharton School of the
University of Pennsylvania
Positive emotions set the tone
Positive feelings, or positive emotions, are much more than just feeling happy. Positive feelings include joy, pleasure, excitement, surprise, delight, interest, fun, pride, love, desire, awe, wonder, contentment, enjoyment, and of course happiness.
Positive emotions are decisive factors of our level of life satisfaction and an agent of personal growth and health in the same time.
Their effects are not limited only to make us feel good on the moment and enjoy the passing of time – they biochemically impact our physical and mental health as well as the fate of our relationships.
The things that are most likely to give us immediate joy and pleasure are intimate experiences based on erotic continence, love, transfiguration, integration and dignity, social activities, exercise and sport, success and social approval, use of skills, creativity, music and all the
arts, weather, great environment, meditation, relaxation, spirituality etc. Positive emotions are the catalyst that opens up our minds. The dynamic effects of positive emotions on our lives are closely analysed by the positive psychology. Positive psychology focuses on strengths instead of weaknesses and provides recipes for taking the normal to excellence.
It makes us more creative and becomes part of an internal feedback loop that creates an upward spiral towards a more positive emotion.
The psychologist Barbara Fredrickson coined the effect of positive emotion on our development and ability – ‘the broaden-and-build theory'.
For Fredrickson, positive emotions are essential elements for optimal functioning and human flourishing; positive emotions broaden the mind, making us better at living23.
Feeling good has a beneficial effect that builds our intellectual, social, psychological, and physical abilities.
The happier we are, the better people we become.
Research confirm that positive emotions are powerful resources. They build and support confidence and self- belief, creativity, originality and flexibility, physical and mental health, intellectual ability, intuition and perception, optimism, perseverance, productivity, activity and energy, recovery from illness and reduction of pain, health and the length of our lives, better relationships and social skills, better connection and communication with
others, better coping with challenges and stress, ability to help others, ability to overcome negative emotions.
Everybody has an emotional capital
positive or negative emotions, revealed that people who experience joy are able immediately after to think of twice as many things they would like to do than those who experienced anger.
A surprising fact is that every human being has a positive
emotions capital, stored in the memory bank. When we feel joy, excitement, intense pleasure, gratitude or any intense positive emotion, this creates a vital resource.
In time, we can draw positivity from the past to help us cope with difficult situations in the present. The human brain is inclined to wanting to repeat the pleasure, to expand the agreeable experience.
Being happy make us more prone to react and respond better to difficulties and challenges. In turn, this positive reaction builds up even more resources for the future.
When we feel good, we become more open to attempt new activities and goals and we draw on from the past resources and skills.
This is the upward spiral effect. In turn, we will find ourselves being more confident and skilful, willing to action and to ripe more resources from positive emotions.
Every intense positive emotion triggers development and creativity
…when we are joyful, we have the urge to play, to socialize and create new connections, when we love, we open up our heart for giving more love, being interests in something sparks the desire to explore more, to learn, being content rise the urge to savour and be grateful, to integrate all the experiences in a harmonious way.
A study conducted by Fredrickson and Branigan, during which participants were shown films that induced either
We need a minimum of 3 times more positive emotions than negative in order to flourish.
The precise number is 2,9. Any less leads to a mediocre life. This ration is like a tipping point. Being a bit more positive than negative has no effect; only over the 2,9 ratio do people flourish24.
This is not to say that we can or should try to feel good all the time; the 3 to 1 ratio allows space for negative emotions. Flourishing is also curtailed by too much positivity; scientists have found that flourishing breaks down once the ratio reaches eleven to one.
Instead of faking happiness, learn to cultivate it
Undoubtedly the real life is composed of a mix of emotions, feelings and states. What we have to do is to enhance our ability to feel good at least 3 times more often than not good, and persevere until we create the neuronal network for this and we got a new skill.
There is no need to force being joyful for feeling good. This is much more about learning to live in the present moment, get a new optimistic perspective on problems and challenges, deciding to look more for things that bring us excitement and cultivating gratitude as a daily habit.
Here are 5 excellent ways in which you can bring more opportunity for feeling good almost immediately and that will also give you pleasure that lasts.
Open and Curious: Let go of rigid patterns of thinking and expectations. Having a growth mindset instead of a
MEDITATION WORKS. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT
Fig.39 There are solid scientific evidences that meditation contributes to life satisfaction.
fixed one, having the predisposition to continuous learn, trying new experiences and new positive states has a direct impact on your happiness, overall well-being, and health an even on your efficiency and charisma.
We feel best when we are able to be fully ourselves, even in difficult circumstances.
perspectives, the more you learn from the ideas in this material and the more you will be able to practically experiment the more you will affect your happiness, well- being, and your leadership progress.
Gratitude: What are you grateful for? Probably one of the most important ways to increase your day-to-day
pleasure and happiness is to appreciate what is good in
How can you become more open to your immediate experiences? Your expectations shape your experience
your life and to appreciate some of the things that you may take for granted.
and therefore your pleasure. If you expect something to
be bad it probably will be, and if you expect something to be great you may experience disappointment when it is not. Is there any way to learn curiosity? Curiosity is a significant factor in well-being and happiness.
The more curious we are – about the world, about new opportunities, about new ways of thinking, about new approaches, about how to better communicate with the others, the happier and satisfied we are. The state of curiosity facilitates the capacity to leave in the present moment. The psychologist Todd Kashdan calls curiosity the ‘engine of well-being’25.
Being aware of yourself, of what brings you joy and satisfaction, of what drives your motivation, what makes you feel safe, what opens up your mind – this is the beginning of the becoming-more-curious journey .
Curiosity broadens our horizons.The journey of exploring and understanding yourself in order to continuously grow and evolve, the relational patterns of interaction, the mysteries of spirituality, how you can become the best version of yourself, the lately discoveries about health, nutrition, parenting, etc – as you deepen and understand more, the bigger your world gets and your life improves consistently. The more open you are to new ideas and
Appreciating your life will boost your well-being in all areas
of your life26.
Researches in positive psychology revealed that practicing gratitude has a large palette of benefits: you feel more alive, you sleep better, have stronger immune system.
In modern couple relationships, the biggest challenge is to keep the desire alive. As Esther Perel, renowned couple therapist and author, says: “how can we want something we already have”?
Learning to be grateful in our couple relationships and not taking the loved one for granted is the first step in maintaining our relationship fresh and staying connected to the erotic in our couple life.
Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough concluded in a study that writing on a weekly basis about the things you are grateful for can make you healthier, encourage you to practice and exercise, help you towards achieving personal goals, make you more optimistic, recover from illness better and faster, cope with stress better, be more inclined to be moral, get better in your relationships, feel with greater self-worth and higher self-esteem, experience fewer feelings of anger, guilt, and jealousy, be happier for longer with what you have.
Kind: Sonja Lyubomirksy, Professor of Psychology and researcher on happiness, conducted a 10-week experiment during which participants were asked to practice random acts of kindness.
In the end, the results showed the effects on happiness depended on the frequency and the variety. In another study in Japan people were asked to count their kindnesses.
those who help others’. In his study, people were asked to list ten people they knew and then to mark each according to how happy they thought they were.
They were then asked to rate the same people for how elfish they were. All of the people labelled happy were also labelled unselfish.30
Spend time with people you admire: Everybody knows
that being with other people is one of the greatest sources
Being grateful is one of the healthiest positive emotions, and makes you more alert, present,enthusiastic, deter-
mined, attentive, empathic, kind, happy, and healthy.
The results showed that happy people became more kind and grateful, and all participants became happier. You can increase your positive emotion and well-being by increasing your kindness.
One of the ways you can do this is to practice a loving- kindness meditation28.In recent research, practicing a loving-kindness meditation has been shown to improve relationships, health, and well-being29.
Remember we are wired to reciprocate, so why not start the pendulum and give someone something you would like to be given to you? As human beings, we are inclined to reciprocate, so if we often remember to be kind, we can be sure people around will reply the same way.
To put it simple, whenever you can do even a small act of kindness, like saying „thank you”, or allowing a car in front of you, or letting someone older to pass on a row before you, don’t miss the opportunity.
In the end, science says the effects on our happiness depend on frequency and variety. Bernard Rimland, the director of the Institute for Child Behavior Research, concluded after a research that ‘the happiest people are
of happiness and immediate pleasure.
Making time for friends and family involves picking up the phone and getting out the diary, but sometimes it just means saying no to something else.
Research tells us that if you have enough money to pay your bills and you have a choice between making an extra
$1000 over the weekend or spending that time with family or friends, you will be much happier if you choose friendship.
Making time for old friends is important but getting out and making new friends also matters. As you change and develop in your life, different people share with you your different needs and interests.
Embrace Authenticity – open your mind and soul.Allow your true positive nature to shine! Martin Seligman, the ‘father’ of positive psychology on being authentic32.
He defines authentic happiness coming from „identifying and cultivating your most fundamental strengths and using them every day in work, love, play, and parenting.” Bill George, Harvard leadership Professor and former Medtronic CEO, thinks:
“You just need to be yourself and lead in your own way with your unique qualities, your heart and your values” in order to be an authentic leader. A leader is not
considered only someone who has a leading role in an organization, but someone who „makes a difference in every environment we are in – from our families, to our friendships, to our communities, to our jobs.”
Companies should build upon positive psychology findings
We now have 5 happiness boosters that will start you spiralling upwards, but what if all you need at the moment is an immediate way to boost your mood and enjoy your life more?
General well-being is much more than happiness, although people often use it to refer to happiness. Subjective well-being (SWB) is defined as ‘a person’s cognitive and affective evaluations of his or her life’ (Diener, Lucas, & Oshi, 2002), although people often use it to refer to happiness.
‘Subjective’ well-being refers to both the cognitive and emotional qualities of ‘happiness’. Positive emotions can be measured based to well-being. Positive psychology measures everything that affects our quality of life, health, and longevity.
Hundreds of measures validate and collate research on laughing, love, solving problems, recovering from adversity, kindness, joy and also the correlation between well-being and professional performance.
Everything that affects our human happiness and well- being is a topic of study for positive psychology. Positive psychology measures everything that affects our quality of life, health, and longevity. From having a sense of humour to how good we are at solving problems and recovering from adversity; in fact, there are hundreds of measures and there are many ways in which positive psychologists validate and collate research, even using
past evidence. For companies, happy employees mean higher productivity and more clients. Recent research on the impact of happiness over the employees productivity showed that:
“Employees who score high in life satisfaction are significantly more likely to receive high ratings from customers.”
In addition, a Gallup study found that retail stores that scored higher on employee life satisfaction generated $21 more in earnings per square foot of space than the other stores, adding $32 million in additional profits for the whole chain.”-
Happiness, well-being, and being ‘satisfied with life’ be- came intertwined as they are the best ways to describe
a ‘functioning life’.
KEY INSIGHT
GENERAL WELL-BEING IS MUCH MORE THAN
HAPPINESS.
Written after couple seminar in Lausanne, Switzerland, 2018
PROVEN BENEFITS OF POSITIVE EMOTIONS
Positive Emotions
Undo effects of negative emotions
Emotional Rescue
Fuel / build
resilience
Create optimal functioning in
organization
Improve
influencing skills
Fig.40 Based on a meta-analysis with nearly 300 different studies on positivity and 275.000 participants
LEADERSHIP AND COUPLE INTIMACY – ARE THEY CONNECTED?
Erotic intimacy and leadership go "heart to heart"
”Steve (Jobs) explained that he didn’t want to climax so he could build power and wealth’ by conserving his vital energies .“
Crisann Brennan41
”Your first and foremost job as a leader is to take charge of your own energy, and then to help orchestrate of those around you.“
Peter Drucker
Love and leadership? 'C'mon, give me a break!'
Are you a business leader who is sceptical of all the talk about love in leadership? Does the word itself immediately evoke feelings of doom that make you want to forget the
feel a bit overwhelmed or a bit confused, and to those who have yet to see the promised benefits that come from superior intimate experiences in their couple relationship.
It may sound interesting. But how do you find the inner energy to sustain all transformations when the pressure is rising and rising while the boss or board is clamouring for more profits and faster growth?
And how do you achieve it without compromising your take-home pay or having to sacrifice everything in your couple relationship for your career?
There are many growth opportunities for leaders that seek work-life integration yet what we present here is a high
impact method.
whole thing? While you applaud the noble ambitions
and goals of the love leadership movement, does the idea leave you feeling helpless in the face of the hows?
We will help you make sense of these issues and suggest a path forward. But we will not sugar-coat it. It can
transform you, your leadership and eventually your
Are you in a couple relationship, but romance has gone, you do not even talk about love, erotic life has disappeared over time, although you both leave with the sense that something needs to change urgently?
Are you stuck in the old and outdated intimate habits that only bring few micro-moments of happiness, while wealthy yet empty inside, successful yet with depleted erotic energy?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, this collection of articles is for you. It is geared to those who
performance, bringing multiple personal and leadership rewards that extend well beyond emotional intelligence, charisma, health, power or vitality.
People have been talking and practicing about erotic continence based on love for ages. Just look at ancient Chinese Tao tradition at imperial courts where only the elites were initiated in this practice – for health, power, longevity, and vitality.
Since then, perceptions have evolved and these days many leaders have engaged with the practice. Our research has some similar findings with other researches on the
topic. Still this approach to intimate experiences has not been explored and discussed in leadership development programs due to various reasons, including dogma.
making a blockbuster.The rationale is crystal clear – erotic energy attracts masses, fascinates towards obsession, and sells. Undoubtedly, erotic content can provide a
competitive advantage.
Constantin Dulcan, Professor of Neuroscience, publicly stated that “not only religion is dogmatic. Science is acting like dogma, too. In addition, it has a huge dose of arrogance.”
Challenges and obstacles are technical as well as psychological. Many of them are portrayed in the case studies presented in the courses we give.
Here the stories are told from the perspective of business leaders that are engaged in a couple relationship and which were developed based on numerous discussions with practitioners and on additional research we carried out.
Talking about love, private intimate experiences, and charismatic leadership is clearly sensitive if not a forbidden subject. A complex taboo and leadership brought together, here is a non-touchable subject for most academics, consultants, experts, and pundits in the leadership field.
For example, if we take all the leadership experts from Top50 Thinkers ranking only a few of them will talk openly about such a topic. However, for decades love energy was and is still being used as the main marketing trigger for large corporations in different industries.
There are many large corporations that uses heavily erotic energy to promote their products or services (e.g. Zara, Armani, Sony Pictures etc).
Some years ago one of the authors of this material was the managing director for a premium pay-tv channel in Central Europe and knows well the success formula for
Humans have an underlying,pre-programmed disposition to respond to erotic imagery that is very strong. Albert Einstein is known not just as a famous scientist but also as a very interested man in erotic intimate experiences.
Austrian physicist and Nobel Prize winner, Erwin Schrödinger, is the man behind the equation at the heart of the quantum theory but his other interest were inti- mate experiences as a practical method for inspiration,
happiness, and transcendence.
Biographer Walter Moore stated that Schrödinger was "devoted to it as the principal non-scientific occupation of his life." Schrödinger had embarked on many affairs by the time he had to escape the Nazis in 1933.
He arrived in Dublin at the Institute for Advanced Studies with his family and it is claimed that some of Schrödinger’s greatest discoveries came in between intensive intimate sessions – a claim that is often repeated in his diaries42.
Daniel Williams, M.D., an Associate Professor in the Department of Urology and Director of Male Reproductive Medicine and Microsurgery at the University of Wisconsin School of Medicine and Public Health, says:
“If men see that their sexual function has diminished,
that can impact other domains of their lives."
This is the brutal reality and as one of us father once said, "we don't need another 50 years of scientific research and evidence to accept that.”
From common nonsense to uncommon sense with multiple benefits
Positive emotions help strengthen bonds yet too much (unconscious) pleasure often leads to their demise. In research by leading emotion scientist Barbara Fredrickson, pleasure tends to narrow our attention and draws us inward to our own personal desires and needs.
In the case of conscious pleasure in erotic intimacy the situation is completely the opposite. These intense pleasurable experiences draw our attention to the immediate physical sensations that gradually improves our self-awareness, broaden our attention, open our hearts and minds to new inner states.
It results in immediate rewards that are usually several days lived. The “post-experience effect” for an erotic intimacy done with erotic continence creates a multitude of positive emotions that heal, open and grow our inner theatre. As we mentioned in other articles – and in the Visuals section of this book – those who experience more positive emotions tend to be more optimistic, resilient, and accepting.
Positive emotions enable us to reach out and connect with others, and forge stronger bonds. When experiencing intense positive emotions such as love, awe or bliss, for example, we become more creative and are able to come up with solutions to problems rather than when we are solely focusing on (unconscious) pleasure. This might explain how this openness can help us in our relationships.
Intense positive emotions aren’t just good for us in the moment; they also have long-term effects.
While emotional states are diminishing, Fredrickson’s groundbreaking insights found positive emotions build high psychological capital. They can help us learn how to
better understand the world and others in new ways. For example, when we are feeling happy or joyful, we tend to be more playful and creative with a desire to explore the context, learn, and contribute.
This openness to experience and the insights we obtain is a plus as we encounter new situations and challenges in our lives. As the old adage goes “happy women, happy life”, there is no doubt that private life substantially impacts professional performance.
The fastest way to focus your mind naturally is when you have an intense intimate experience in your couple relationship, says Daniel Goleman’s research for his book, 'Focus-the hidden driver to excellence''44. From a leadership angle, erotic energy can destroy a career if uncontrolled (see the big number of sexual scandals – staged or not) or it can build up a career, bring success, happiness, fulfilment, and joy (and much more), when is consciously controlled, systematic transformed in other forms of energies, and utilized for non-erotic purposes.
May science and mankind’s mind have rapidly evolved in other areas, still sexual dogmas are strong and very little challenged. On sensitive subject, beliefs, and taboos, the pace of evolution and getting to new understandings is slow and very slow.
Statistics show that in couple relationships there is a huge dose of sexual dissatisfaction and frustration plus unad-
dressed and wrongly diagnosed emotional dysfunctions.
Still the large majority of people didn’t seem to wonder why is it considered normal that a man to be active during an intercourse for 10 or 12 minutes at best, whereas a woman needs a minimum of 30 minutes of erotic interaction in order to reach a state of fulfilment,
UNDERSTANDING AN ESSENTIAL PILLAR OF THE 5PILLARS MAP
SELF AWARENESS
+
SELF CONTROL
DURING
=
EROTIC CONTINENCE
Fig.41 Erotic Continence in a nutshell in a couple relationship
inner balance, and satisfaction (study at the University of Utrecht). No matter how many blue, red or white pills one will take – apart from the secondary effects that are experienced quite rapidly, this will never be a sustainable
because it’s worth it. In other words, your couple intimate experiences that are based on love and deep emotional bonds (not mechanical interactions) offers incredible opportunities if integrated properly.
solution for a satisfying erotic life in a long-term couple
relationship.
Usually, the frustration in this area influences behaviors, moods, choices, ways of thinking, and reactions no matter the leadership knowledge we have or how many hours we spent in the gym. Why not learn something that is perfectly natural, simple and with multiple benefits for personal and professional lives?
Smart eroticism = Erotic continence
The capacity to control the pro-creative, sexual, and substantial potential during an erotic intimate experience that is based on love, transfiguration, integration, and dignity, to transform that erotic potential into inner energy and then circulate it throughout your body in different nervous plexuses, activating different neural networks, depending on the leadership traits that you choose to develop.
The idea first came from the Orient throughout time, by the adepts of Indian Tantric system, by the Chinese Taoists, and those from the surrounding countries.
At that time is was a great mystery of life to know how to make your love blossom and to become happy and strong by making love.
Once it reached the West, this love practice – which includes erotic continence – has spread rapidly, especially in the last decades. In our country also, there are many people who discovered lovemaking with continence and adopted it. Why do you think they did this? Well,
What about a new source of energy that can have a multidimensional impact for both women and men in their personal and professional lives?
Leadership, strategy or execution?
First and foremost strategy execution requires inner energy. The majority of strategic initiatives fails in the execution phase although most of the time the strategy was sound and clear45. The problem is that people run out of gas or enter the ‘burnout mode’ where performance is mediocre at best.
Beyond a good plan, right skills and expertise, appropriate resources (time, budget, people), senior sponsorship, right alliances, the single aspect that is required and sought after in all team members is inner energy.
The problem of inner energy in leadership has been researched in great detail within the last years. BHAG (bold, hairy, audacious goals) works in many global organizations yet we should not forget BOHICA (bend over here it comes again) which most of the times is driven by lack of energy and not the goodwill of the team members. Senge et al (1994) describe how at Harley Davidson, workers use the term ‘AFP’, (‘another fine program’), to describe management change effort.
Family time, outdoor activities, going to the gym, eating, sleeping, reading, interacting with others, vitamins and supplements, various hobbies are common ways
to generate energy. Managing inner energy, not time or other assets, is the essential currency of high performance. Performance is grounded in the conscious and skilful management of energy.
Charismatic leaders are stewards of organizational energy. They begin by effectively managing their own inner energy. As leaders, they must mobilize, focus, invest, channel, renew and expand the energy of others.To create engagement is to create the energy state in the organization that best serves performance.
Science says that one atom of specific substance from our body contains 200Mln electron-Volts of energy, so how much energy 1g of semen contains if it's able to create life?
After discharge, the brain releases the neurochemical prolactin and drops dopamine. This post-intimacy change explain why some people have post-coital dysphoria, or
performance47. A fulfilling couple life will positively impact not only personal inner balance, but it will also power one with high inner energy which can be use it for other leadership goals.
Generating the right strategic resonance (right vibe) in an organization is one thing while sustaining is another thing. For both, leaders need vibrant inner energy.
KEY INSIGHT
STRATEGY IS INNER ENERGY.
Written on June 2018, after a leadership session in
Lausanne, Switzerland
feelings of sadness after intimacy that are distinct from feelings of regret or loneliness, explains Jason Krellman, PhD, ABPP, a neuropsychologist and Assistant Professor of Neuropsychology at Columbia University Medical Center. This is one of the unpleasant issues people have to deal with after having an erotic intimate experience in a common way, with discharge.
Preserving erotic potential and then use it appropriately is a smart behavior that can completely change your life – especially your vibes (physical, emotional, mental) as a human being.
As a leader, creating and maintaining a positive vibe in your team, organization, and society at large matters. If leadership is frustrated, anxious, stressed,
SPIRITUAL BALANCE
MENTAL BALANCE
EMOTIONAL BALANCE
EROTIC BALANCE
VITALITY BALANCE
Are you
balanced?
y/n
y/n
y/n
y/n
y/n
How do you
reach balance?
?
?
?
?
?
nervous, ambiguous, then we should not expect high
Fig.42 Being balanced in all area matters for a
charismatic leadership
A LEADERSHIP TOPIC YOU DON`T FIND IN B SCHOOLS
The subject they don’t touch. Bridging a complex taboo with accelerated inner growth
”Organizations of every kind, demand and require leadership.Yet the nature of that leadership and how we understand the role of the leader is constantly being reappraised.“
and influence. Consider the deeper underlying meaning, for example, when we say things like, “Follow your heart,” “Take it to heart”, and “Have a change of heart.”
Thinkers50
”Sexuality in leadership is a long-neglected topic with vast implications for individuals and society.“
James Beggan PhD, Scott T. Allison, PhD
Couple relationship can be approached as a laboratory for transformation. In this book we propose a practical model where intimacy is bridged with leadership.
The concept presents how to intelligently use your erotic energy (procreative potential) to develop new leadership competencies by practicing techniques that are simple, clear, and efficient, tapping into a ready-to-use source of energy.
The best way of influencing human beings to excel in their jobs is to intentionally and positively affect their hearts.
For centuries, all of the world’s wisdom traditions emphasized the importance of the heart. Philosophers,
Thanks to the evolution of technology, Western science’s
understanding of the heart has not only changed, but emerging research serves to confirm what ancient wisdom expressed long ago. Research says that improving your intimate experiences in your relationship is the fastest way to bend your personality, change bad habits, and build new behaviors.
Learning how to extract exceptional value out from intimacy in your couple erotic experiences and use it for distinctive, non-erotic purposes can develop leadership capacity.
The heart and mind are connected
A New York Times article published last year featured this provocative sentence: “To describe the heart as merely a pump is much like saying that all the cellist Yo-Yo-Ma does is drag horsehair across wires.”
According to Dr. James Doty,
“Most people have no idea that the heart has anything to do with influencing human choices, decisions, and motivations."
writers, spiritualists, and artists intuitively knew that the
heart was a source of higher intelligence and guidance, but didn’t have the tools to scientifically confirm it.
But even in the absence of scientific proof, languages from every culture became filled with expressions that conveyed a collective belief in the heart’s great power
We’ve always believed the heart’s role was to circulate blood throughout the body and had no involvement in cognitive processes. But what science now knows is that the heart and mind work together with an unified intelligence. They share constant communication
between each, other with the heart sending more signals to the brain than the other way around. Doty calls this a “bi-directional highway” that runs beneath the level of human consciousness and has a huge impact on how we function, how we respond and even see the world.
“Rather than passively waiting for instructions to the brain, the heart not only thinks for itself, it sends signals to the rest of the body.”
This knowledge and practice applies to all leaders that face energy crisis even or need a step change in their leadership vitality, creativity, willpower, self-awareness, self-control, intuition, mental focus, and complex problem solving
Feeling hopeless, procrastinating or wasting time with ineffective activities is only going to deepen the consequences on both fronts. Ancient Chinese emperors and their high-ranking officials used these techniques. Many successful leaders, world-class athletes, and famous Hollywood actors rely upon these techniques in their private intimate experiences.
In the current VUCA (volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous) world, executives risk burnout, depression, anxiety or stress – factors that impact leadership effectiveness regardless of the profile, experience or knowledge. So, what they can do?
In essence, behind theories, experiences, and learnings, leadership can be seen as inner energy to achieve high
performance with and through others.
The critical component that makes or breaks the challenging process of strategy execution is inner energy.
What if your private intimate experiences are incredible opportunities for fundamental transformation? This practice involves several steps that enable leaders to access a powerful reservoir of energy that is then used to generate transformation on multiple levels.
It emphasizes intimate experiences that are based on love, complete erotic continence, transfiguration, integration, and dignity. Your couple relationship is re-engineered as a secure-base for accelerated leadership progress.
The model has the best impact when you learn it together with your life partner. Personal coaching is also provided upon request (Fig.44).
When the topic is too sensitive
Michael Schultz, former Director of Berlin-based Holistic Clinical Therapies, was brought in to turn things around and restore founding mission of the clinic, which is to "serve health-driven patients and build a healthier society."
Within a few years, Michael had the clinic back on track, but not everything was going as well as it seemed. After the successful transition, the leadership team decided to take the pulse of the organization and discovered low levels of engagement and displeasure with senior leaders.
Michael was surprised, but he assumed the discord was left over from the many changes the clinic had gone through, so he chose not to take action — time would heal all. A year later, the clinic sent out another employee survey. This time, the results were more specific: morale was a significant issue, and the majority of people, including members of the senior leadership team, identified Michael as the root cause.
Michael was crushed and oscillated between anger, indignation, defensiveness, and blame. He wondered, "How could they say these things about me? Don't they understand how far we've come under my leadership?"
He could have stayed in this negative mindset, wallowing in self-pity and searching for excuses. Instead, after being a successful high-achiever throughout his career, he decided to confront an uncomfortable truth:
He wasn't the great leader he thought he was. He was leading by his MBA lessons and neglecting the concerns of others who were not ready to move so fast or didn’t understand the reasons for the changes he had implemented.
In our conversation with Michael, he said: “My ego had run amok. I was leading from my head and not from my heart.”
He realized that despite all the skills he had developed through his years of management education and professional development, he’d never been directed to take a long look in the mirror and ask questions about
his openness, empathy or what others valued, and what it really meant to be a leader. Since then, the clinic’s teamwork and employee opinion scores have dramatically increased, and now there is a high-performing team that focuses on both relationships and results.
Michael’s experience is not unique. Erotic-continence is not part of the standard curriculum in any management education programs. The majority of MBA degrees focus on strategy, execution, and leadership — the things Michael excelled at, yet self-compassion, self-control (things that are fundamental in erotic continence practice in a loving couple relationship) or vitality were not perceived as a direct lever for his professional development.
This lack of understanding blinded him to what was happening within his leadership and casualties that affected performance in the organization. It is known that approximately 40% of CEOs are MBAs.98
Many large-scale studies have found that leadership based solely on MBA-trained logic is not always enough for delivering long-term financial and cultural results and that it is often detrimental to an organization's productivity.99 In one study, researchers compared the organizational performance of 440 CEOs who had been celebrated on the covers of magazines like BusinessWeek, Fortune, and Forbes.
The researchers split the CEOs into 2 groups — those with an MBA and those without one — and then monitored their performance for up to 7 years. Surprisingly, the performance of those with an MBA was significantly worse.
Another study, published in the Journal of Business Ethics, looked at the results of more than 5,000 CEOs and came to a similar conclusion.100
To be clear, we're not saying MBAs are not useful in leading an organization. But if the classical MBA- trained logic becomes the sole focus — at the cost of other skills, like vitality, self-awareness, empathy, happiness, fulfilment or understanding others — the leadership approach is devoid of harmony, balance, and context.
That was the case for Michael. He had all the numbers right. His strategy was clear. But people didn't like working with him and were increasingly unhappy.
He was managing based on prevailing business theories, but he was not able to understand himself. Because he lacked self-awareness, people found Michael inauthentic. Subsequently, they weren't keen to follow him or support his leadership.
Many executives know that inner energy is at the base
in the structure and function of the brain and enhance self-awareness.101 In our work with a large company from Switzerland, we found that even just 5 weeks of 30 minutes of daily meditation training enhanced the participating leaders' self-awareness by up to 35%.
Meditation is part of the erotic continence phases realized in a loving couple relationship when they are serious about the experience. The practice brings more control, more relaxation, beauty, and happiness and enables both to expand their awareness of what's happening in the landscape of their inner theatre from moment to moment.
The third essential element is breathing because it makes or breaks your intimate experience if you know/don't know how to correctly use it (Fig.53).
Conscious pleasure is a catapult for awareness development.
of high self-awareness which is the starting point of
leadership effectiveness.
Luckily for Michael, he was open to change, and through a journey of meditation and Superior Intimacy coaching, he was able to become more of the leader he wanted to be.
The practice that makes the striking difference
The practice of smart eroticism implies higher self- awareness and higher self-control, and like Michael, they’re nudged towards enhancing our self-awareness and self-control as our leadership responsibility increases.
Fortunately for all of us, erotic continence can be learned and practiced very easily. Simple steps can be taken to complement one’s traditional leadership skills with it.
Research published in Nature Neuroscience has found that a short daily meditation practice leads to changes
It helps both lovers to notice and control their emotions,to better understand behavior, and reactions, and emotions – and in turn it brings more impact, more vitality and more creativity in their life, including the professional one. Pleasure is not to be consumed but to be experienced in a conscious manner.
In simply words, pleasure is a catapult for awareness development when is consciously controlled, experienced and utilized. An awareness break is a break where you pay attention to your breathing.
Breathing deeply into your belly increases relaxation, decreases tension and stress, helps building the attention and awareness on pleasure and puts more oxygen into bloodstream.
Oxygen is what delivers the 'O' in Orgasm.
It's well known that women have a harder time than men focusing on sensual and erotic activities. In studies done with fMRI technology, scientists can see the oxygen flow to the various regions of the brain during different situational inputs.
Men tend to focus most of their active brain regions on the erotic activities. Women, on the other hand, have multiple regions in their brains going off.
Areas that involve worry, attention to things they didn't get done during a given day, the children, external noise, etc. – their brains are busy and not on the activities they're supposed to be on at that moment.
But there is another thing a woman can do to advocate for her erotic focus and presence. It will increase the blood flow to her extremities (think clitoris, G-spot, and pelvic area), and help her focus her mind on erotic turn-on and the stimulus she is receiving. That 'thing' is breathing.
Take regular breaks – When we come under pressure, we default to doing what we have always done. We resort to habitual thinking and behavior. There is not much awareness in that and little space for understanding yourself or the people you lead.
Taking regular short meditative breaks, or even just 15 minutes gets you out of habitual thinking and behavior. It provides you space for awareness to arise and to see things clearer.
You don’t check the news, your phone or social media. All of that just occupies the space of your mind and does not allow for awareness to arise. Rather, you need to put down your phone, turn away from your computer, and simply look out the window, close your eyes, and observe your inhale/exhale process.
Pay real attention to your emotions – When you are challenged, your emotions are under pressure. You need to rely on inner balance. When under stress, your mind can interpret things in a way that leaves you feeling threatened.
Our thoughts become more focused on the negative aspects of change, and at the same time our bodies also increase the levels of certain hormones such as cortisol. In this case, our ears literally just off to what is new and only hear things we have heard before. As in Michael’s case, we do not have enough inner balance to deal with the new
Fig. 53 “Breath, thought, and semen are the 3 elements of potential for enlightenment. They should be harmonized and controlled consciously. The one that achieves unity of breathing, thought, and semen, becomes the Indestructible, gifted with transcendental spontaneity.”- Kularnava Tantra
concerns and opinions and do not find the inspiration and energy to act upon on the required change.
Keep the pace with the world’s rapid evolution
You risk getting isolated in your leadership bubble, where your emotional control will collapse and blame will be put it on others.
To avoid such situations, make an effort to build your emotional intelligence through erotic continence in your couple relationship. Just consider the year of 1971 when meditation entered the western world through a pioneer ( Jon Kabat Zinn), unleashing the comments of the "experts of the time" that meditation is weird, strange, and not for leaders.
Fast forward to today and see meditation everywhere. The question is, should MBAs learn how to have superior intimate experiences?
KEY INSIGHT
THE BIGGEST HAPPINESS OF A MBA GRADUATE IS THE
HAPPINESS OF HIS/HER SPOUSE.
Based on a testimonial from a practitioner living in Berlin,
Germany, 2017
20 PRACTICAL ADVICES FOR HAPPY COUPLE RELATIONSHIPS
Directions to follow for keeping the spark alive
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”
Lao-Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher and writer
“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it.That factor is attitude.”
William James, psychologist and philosopher
There are so many different things that play into whether or not your relationship is going to last. For instance, compatibility, setting common goals, laughing together, and desire to continuous learn are important factors that impact longevity of a couple relationship.
According to science, there are some habits you can adopt in your relationship if you want to up your chances of staying together in the long run.
A 80-year Harvard study on happiness concluded that close relationships, more than money and fame, are what keep people together throughout their lives.
“Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies; they protect our brains. (…) The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health.(…) Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.” says Robert Waldinger (director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School).
In other words, being preoccupied of the well-being of your love relationship, using every moment of tension or emotionally disconnection as an opportunity for learning, for growth, and improvement is a decisive attitude for a relationship to thrive in long-term.
Accepting that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives, we should always make a priority for our relationship’s well-being.
“In our culture, we don’t do ‘we’ very well. We’re better at autonomy: I can take care of myself, I can give to you. But being a real unit means taking another step: making the relationship itself a priority. Other cultures do this much better – the Japanese have a concept called amae, which loosely translated means the delicious experience of communion. It’s a goal worth striving for”, says couple therapist and sexologist, Pat Love, Ed. D.
Because the analysed topic in this book is the importance of erotic intimacy in couple, here are some advices that we consider useful for a thriving life together.
Remember you two are united by love and through love
“Love is our supreme emotion” – says Barbara Fredrickson, a social psychologist, Professor and author who conducts research in emotions and positive psychology.
When love floods our being, we experiment a state of intense happiness and fulfilment. You should often try to consciously grow the love between you and your significant other.Scientific studies have shown that when we cultivate — intentionally or unintentionally — emotions of appreciation, love, and compassion (as opposed to anxiety, anger, or fear)
the oscillations of our heart rhythm are showing as being more coherent or consistent.This coherence has been linked to a sense of well-being, as well being more emotionally stable and reaching peak states of mindfulness. So, when we experience love for each other and we express it, we are both in a state of heart coherence.
The most edifying example is when we have an erotic intimate experience with our beloved one. Our hearts and minds become aligned and we experience intense positive emotions. If "love is sacrificial", always keep in mind and pay attention to the happiness of your spouse, and don’t forget that the greatest happiness of a man is the happiness of his woman and vice-versa.
The decision to make a sacrifice is made in light of the great benefit for the other person or for the relationship, and is different than choosing to compromise which can mainly be made out of fear of the associated risks or potential damage in pursuing the alternatives.
In compromise, the agent still believes in the greater value of the possible alternatives and hence does not fully accept the existing situation. So, choose to sacrifice sometimes for your spouse's happiness, but not to compromise.
Happiness should not be the supreme goal of your relationship.
Find a higher goal for a meaningful life to embrace both of you with enthusiasm. First, you must ensure that personal and couple goals are in alignment. This alignment is critical for creating harmony and allowing you both to achieve. Achieve together! Once that alignment is secure there is no limit to how much you can accomplish together.
Get used to celebrate (and enjoy) when you reach milestones and agree upon a reward system to help keep you motivated. Achieving perfect erotic continence is a good example of
a common goal. Each time you accomplish a step toward your goal, talk about how you feel about each other and how far you have come in your relationship, and then have a romantic dinner together.
Give each other the room to learn and develop by allowing (even supporting) your partner to experiment. As long as you agree to proceed with honour and dignity, you can be as creative as you like.
When you maintain your mind open and curious great ideas might come from all kinds of places and you never know when something "off the wall" will open doors.
Creating goals and achieving them as a couple is one of the most powerful and connecting things you can do.
Always appreciate the present moment – including when you’re together
For humans with our big frontal lobes (which allow us to ruminate on the past or plan the future), the concept of now is volatile, it can feel like an elusive thing. When we are at work we think on being in vacation. On vacation we ruminate on work projects.
We become aware that it has been only when it’s gone. Although it’s precious, will never come back. Blink and you’ll miss it. Whatever the present moment holds for you and your spouse, whether it’s something that’s perceived as mundane (grocery shopping) or special (a vacation), try to notice it fully, without mentally rushing yourself past it.
People who live more in the now than the past or present are living fully and are better equipped for overcoming obstacles and face challenges with more optimism and creativity. To be able to remain present and to enjoy the present moment together, forgive often and fully, and if this seems impossible
recognize the need for a clean start. Leave away resentments and turn back to the magic energy of the beginning of your relationship.
Be yourself with more skill
No two people agree on everything, and that's acceptable, but it's important to be congruent with each other's differences. It can hardly be overemphasized that your harmony isn't necessarily at risk simply because the two of you have differences. In fact, confiding in your lover about such discrepancies is good for you — and, ultimately, for the relationship.
As long as you share your dissimilarities with grace, diplomacy, and tact, you should be able to let more of your hair down, and — comfortable in making the more "contrary" parts of yourself known — be yourself with your partner with more skill.
Leon F. Seltzer, PhD, a clinical psychologist and the author of Paradoxical Strategies in Psychotherapy, says: „In my 30- plus years of doing therapy, I've found that helping couples learn to truly accept their inevitable dissimilarities — and to take them in stride — serves not only to protect marital harmony in situations of potential conflict but, even more, to help the relationship reach its full potential.”
He suggests what to do when your spouse’s disagreement causes you to emotionally overreact: "it's crucial that you access that scared, lonely, vulnerable part of yourself. Then
— in your mind's eye — you need, lovingly, to let that it knows that their intimate companion's contrary preferences don't really relate to them, that these preferences simply define their partner as in some ways different — but safely different – from them." If your conversation was heated, consider doing things that help you feel closer again afterward.This might mean talking about 'old times,' simply
expressing your appreciation for your friendship, or making plans to do an activity together.
While people often give lip service to appreciating each other’s differences, this is often difficult to really do.Tempers often flare and feelings get hurt. But if you approach your differences with care, patience, and an open heart both you and your relationship can strengthen.
To become more comfortably open and self-disclosing in your relationship, you need to regularly remind yourself the differences but not letting them put your relationship in jeopardy.
It's not a prerequisite for harmony that couples agree on everything — just that both of you can appreciate the subjective validity of the other's viewpoint. What, finally, may only be an inconsequential discrepancy between the two of you can be placed in the more enlightened context of a "live-and-let-live" harmony.
When you both consciously engage to transform your relationship, you’ll surprisingly observe that you feel no emotional discomfort when you’re significant other disagrees. You can perfectly live with that without trying to make your spouse change his/her mind, because you deeply feel you are not disconnected anymore.
Don’t push to change the other, first push yourself for transformation
If you come across difficulties in your relationship that are about your partner needing to change for you, these are actually opportunities to see how you can fulfil those needs within yourself.
Once you do this, it will open the door to your partner reflecting these needs back to you. What is within you will be reflected back or it won’t even matter to you any longer
because that void or lack of will be filled from within.
A partner who challenges you in a constructive way is someone who can bring you directly to the highest aspect of yourself. They will direct your inner development where all of the hidden shadows and aspects of yourself you are running away.
happier and healthier.Touching someone releases dopamine and serotonin, both of which can boost moods and curb depression.
Intimacy in couple is healthy. The human touch has been shown to drop a person's levels of cortisol, the main bio-
logical culprit of stress.
When you try to change your spouse you come across as a
nag and wind up sending the message that 'who you are’ is not enough. Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and disconnection.
Our habit is to focus on what's not working on the outside and try to fix it. Instead, it is much worth shifting your attention to what's happening on the inside and deepen your attention and awareness on your inner life.
When we focus on our internal space and take care of that first, everything else gradually lines up on the outside. Our internal landscape is not just our body, but also our thoughts, emotions, intuitions, states etc.
Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on transforming yourself. When you start to change and improve, all the persons around you (with whom you have an emotional connection) will also start to unwillingly change in order to maintain the connection and resonance.
Take whatever you're upset with him/her about and use it to help yourself look squarely at what you need to do in order to grow and evolve. The relationship will thrive!
Yourself, your spouse, and your relationship begins to grow and transform. Learning the mirroring process is a useful tool in this journey of transformation.
Research consistently shows that touching more creates a stronger bond by releasing oxytocin.
When you're physically close to someone, you tend to feel
“To touch someone you love is to acknowledge their presence and to communicate your desire for them. That’s why the most successfully married couples amongst us do it so often.”- according to married researchers and authors, Dr. Charles & Dr. Elizabeth Schmitz.
Touch is crucial in creating and strengthening romantic relationships. Tactile physical affection is highly correlated with overall relationship and partner satisfaction. Moreover, conflict resolution is easier with more physical affection— conflicts are resolved more easily with increased amounts of hugging, cuddling/holding, and kissing on the lips (Gulledge et al., 2003).
Non-sexual physical affection involving tactile stimulation, such as back-rubbing and hugs, has also been shown to be of value. Women who report having received more hugs from their partners in the past have been shown to have significantly lower blood pressure levels than those women who do not have much history of being hugged by their partners. Accordingly, affectionate physical behavior can lower reactions to stressful life events.
Touch has a powerful romantic value. It’s different usages may elicit a variety of emotional attitudes in the beloved. In Greek mythology, King Midas's touch turned to everything into gold. Lovers can turn their partners into happy people with a physical and mental golden touch. In our model, touch plays a vital role. It is the easiest way to boost the
heart coherence between the two lovers and opens the path for the state of flow (integration).
See the problems — boredom in the bedroom, lack of conversations, resentment — as symptoms and treat those symptoms just as you would treat a chronic illness that seemingly has no cure
Achieving long-lasting love isn’t usually easy, even when we meet the right person. Falling in love can be the most joyful experience of one’s life, yet we tend to underestimate the level of fear, anxiety, sadness and even anger it can stir up. Without knowing it, we all have defences in us, based on hurtful past experiences, that can now operate to push love away. Playing the blame game will leave you feeling powerless and going in circles.
We don’t always choose partners for the right reasons. Sometimes, we pick people who challenge us, who push us to grow and expand our worlds. So, it’s not at all a sign of lack of love if your interactions are sometimes a challenge for you.
Don’t give up on the relationship as soon as an apparently overwhelming problem comes up. Remember what’s important, connect to your significant other, and find the humour. Wait for the right moment to come and tackle the subject that bothers you with delicacy, care, and empathy. Avoid to start the conversation with „you”. Emphasize about what you think you can do better and how this would help you both.
When it gets hard in a relationship, our tendency is to protect ourselves, to retreat, to "lean out." Leaning out when your partner reaches out creates distance and dissonance. If instead you "lean in" to the uncomfortable feelings, to the unknown and your own vulnerability, and meet your partner, you can actually strengthen your relationship through the
struggles you face together. "Throw at it every possible remedy you've got, no matter how alternative or weird it seems. Chances are one or more of them will actually work and your relationship will get stronger and stronger", says Alisa Bowman, Relationship Coach
Whatever future your relationship holds, you will be empowered by the fact that you have the ability to change yourself. When you change and are willing to be vulnerable, your partner often softens, opens heart, and responds.
As you do this,you should have what Dr.Dan Siegel,a clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the founding co-director of the Mindful Awareness Research Center, describes as a COAL attitude toward yourself, in which you are Curious, Open, Accepting, and Loving.
Smart Intimacy prepares the "soil" that it can harmoni-
ously solve all your couple relationship problems.
It creates an upward spiral of intense positive emotions that builds up a strong positive resonance in time and with practice.
Next time you argue with your spouse, drop the shaming, blaming, needing to be right, and really listen without interrupting
One way to build intimacy in your relationship is by sharing your thoughts and feelings with each other and then responding to those disclosures in a way that makes you both feel good. In science, they call this being “responsive to your partner’s needs.”Being a responsive partner, and feeling like your partner is responsive to you, is really at the core of good communication, friendship, and closeness. When you feel your partner really gets you, you feel like nothing else matters.
Consequently, it is important that you make sure you are open to listening when your partner wants to share their thoughts and emotions with you. Don’t push back or look at your phone or say you don’t have time. This will make your spouse feel lonely cause you are "psychologically gone".Instead encourage their disclosures as a way to support your partner and get closer to them.
Their disclosures might be something small and silly to you, but it might be really meaningful to them. Express interest
often in the form of criticism: they tell their partner how to do things differently, or the “right” way. It is usually at this point that defensiveness arises within the critiqued person, and arguments ensue.
The criticized partner often feels hurt; the criticizer feels undervalued and unheard.The arguments escalate and more wounds are inflicted. The initial issue is usually not resolved, and will likely come up again and the episode will repeat. Over time, criticism can affect the heart.
in your partner and be engaged. Put your smart-phone away
and show you are truly listening. Be empathic with care, understand with discernment, and take it easy.
If your significant other tells you you’re critical, you probably are.
But there’s even a better way to tell: Think of what you
Empathize, empathize, empathize. This mean to be able to put yourself into the other one’s shoes.
Neither of us really needs to be right. Instead, we all wish to be happy achievers. "It's not your partner's job to read your mind, guess what you're thinking, or put words into your mouth. These are huge obstacles to open, honest communication and will guarantee resentment, anger, and frustration in the relationship”, pinpoints Sharon Rivkin, MA, MFT.
Let go of criticism and blame
As Oscar Wilde put it, “Criticism is the only reliable form of autobiography.” It tells you more about the psychology of the criticizer than the people he or she criticizes. Criticism is the first of John Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which claim to predict divorce with more than 90% accuracy. In relationships, criticism is inevitable because each partner’s beliefs about how things should be done feel very real and valid. When those things are done differently by the other partner,in the blink of an eye it can cause partner number one great discomfort. That discomfort causes instant reactivity,
automatically say to yourself if you drop something or make a mistake. Critical people will typically think, “Oh you idiot,” or, “Jerk,” or sigh in disgust. If you do that to yourself, you most likely do it to others as well.
If you’re angry or resentful, any “feedback” you give will be heard as criticism, no matter how you put it. That’s because people respond to emotional tone, not intention. It’s best to regulate the anger or resentment before you give feedback.
However,couples can learn to use criticism to foster closeness instead. It is what couple’s do with criticism that determines whether it will build closeness in the relationship or create distance. When couples learn how to relate to criticism differently, and to change their conversation around it, criticism becomes an opportunity for deeper connection.
For a healthy relationship, both spouses should learn to use the constructive criticism as a tool for growing and fostering their love relationship.
Take time to have some fun together every day
When couples first meet they usually spend a significant amount of time engaging in fun activities together and
spending quality time getting to know each other. Most people probably plan to keep that fun and spark in their relationship forever, but over time with all of the meetings, kids, household chores, long work hours, and everyday challenges, taking time to really enjoy being together and have fun often takes a back seat to other priorities.
Research found that having fun together is an important factor in the sense of friendship, commitment, and the greatest influence on overall couple satisfaction. A high level of positive feelings, in an ideal ratio of 5 to 1 positive over negative ones, is the cornerstone of happy long-term marriages, according to Gottman (for couples).
“Having fun” is one of our richest sources of positive affect, although certainly not the only one. A couple that can laugh together will have a better chance of weathering the hard times.
A 2018 study from Martin-Luther, Universität Halle- Wittenberg, published in the Journal of Research in Personality, found that couples who enjoy playfully teasing each other, are often much happier in their relationship.
The researchers noticed that women who liked being teased showed a greater fascination,appreciation,erotic satisfaction,
Before you get mad or assign blame, take a breath and ask your partner for his or her perspective
As you're trying to figure out what to say to your partner when you're upset,try not to get so caught up in your wounds that you end up tainting the soil your garden is growing in. If you’re fuming, wait it out.
Though you’ll be in a hurry to dish your frustration out (directly or indirectly), your communication won’t come out right. When we’re angry, that’s all we can think about, it’s like our brain is hijacked (and it is, we know that when the emotion centres of the brain are highly active, we actually have a hard time thinking logically).
Cool your flames and you’ll see more clearly and communicate far more effectively. Let your partner know that you need time to figure out how to address them, not because you don't want to talk about it, but because you want to discuss what happened in a constructive way.
State clearly that, although you need some space to get your thoughts together and find clarity, you are going to come back around to this recurring issue. This isn't a matter of avoidance,and you aren't going to hide from the relationship. Both you and your partner owe each other more than that.
and sense of togetherness with their male paramours.
And their male partners also reported a greater sense of togetherness, as well as erotic satisfaction. Women, they say, are more inclined toward funny men in general. “Humour production can be an indicator of things like intelligence,” he adds.
Strong, healthy, happy, and long-lasting relationships do not just happen, they require effort; and one of the things every relationship needs is a little fun. Be intentional about having fun in your relationship.
When you make room for another person’s point of view and ask “why” instead of immediately assuming the worst, you are actually inviting true communication to occur.
You are showing respect and consideration for another person’s right to think, feel and act a certain way.The result is that you develop understanding, a deeper relationship based on communication and civility, compassion and empathy.
If you approach them with aggression — they will feel defensive and angry in return. On the other hand, if you approach the other person with respect, they are able to hear your perspective and feel safe sharing theirs.
When you are aware of your significant other’s value, you become mindful of emotions and hold your horses for giving space to a fruitful conversation.
Invite your spouse to share his/her perspective and feelings. In doing so, you create a space for him/her to really share what’s going on rather than having to make indirect stabs that only make matters worse.
In order to keep the spark alive and avoid "roommate syndrome," couples have to understand the notion of spending "time" together versus creating "sacred" time together
One of the main reasons a relationship fails is due to the couple having entered into a Fantasy Bond or the
„roommate syndrome”. A Fantasy Bond is a term developed by psychologist Robert Firestone, to describe an illusion of connection many couples form at some point in their relationship. A Fantasy Bond differs from real love in that sincere acts of kindness are replaced by routine, and form is favoured over substance in the relationship.
Couples enter into this scenario without even realizing it, as a means to feel a false sense of security, an illusion of fusion or “oneness.” Partners take each other for granted and lose their attraction to each other. They stop supporting the unique interests and personality traits that light the other person up and make him or her who he or she is. This, in turn, creates a stale environment in the relationship, where both parties feel resentment and a lack of excitement toward each other. Most couples find themselves somewhere on the spectrum, having entered into a bond to varying degrees.
We call this syndrome „depolarization”, the loss of erotic spark, enthusiasm, and interest for each other known in science as the hormones dynamics.
There are 2 notions of how you spend your time togeth- er: there's regular time together, and then there's sacred
time together.
Spending time at social events, time with family and doing "chores" together does not count as sacred time. Instead, carve out special time that feeds your relationship with energy of life, enthusiasm, love, and enchantment.
It's during sacred time together that you ward off the perils of depolarization syndrome. Sacred time is basically just time off of the beaten path, time that's, even if only a little bit, an adventure. Obviously, having an intimate erotic experience is a good example of sacred time. You need to spend time together in ways that enhance other aspects of your emotional connection.
Also ensure that you continue to share new experiences together such as practicing profound meditation, exploring someplace new, or developing a new skill. However, you choose to spend quality time together, commit to making it a priority that you don’t compromise on.
Create a clear vision of your shared future together
“Sit down, listen to each other, and write out how you want your future as a couple to look. It's much easier to create your best relationship together if both people's needs are voiced, heard, and supported by their partner.”, says Eve Agee, PhD. A vision is a dream with a deadline and involves identifying something you really want. A vision contains enough passion that you are willing to put in sustained effort to bring it about and has an action plan.
This focus involves identifying, recalling or revising the important dreams you had when you got together. Just allow yourself to think creatively about the type of relationship you desire.
Your vision also evolves as you move toward it. It might requires new skills or new capabilities. Ask yourself an important question: “What will I have to do, that I don't want to do, to realize this vision?” Every vision will carry with it some undesirable task(s).
Don't let these make you believe your vision is wrong. Accept that your vision will involve some drudge work that you won't enjoy. As you get clearer on your couple vision, write it down to clarify what it looks like.
The more detail your vision has, the more compelling it will be. In the beginning stage, do not think about or discuss impediments. The best way to kill a budding dream is to ask, “Well, how is that going to happen?” or “Are you really serious about wanting that?” Asking these questions will surely strangle emerging desires before you see the bigger picture.
For a fulfiling vision together, do not forget to empathize. You are empathetic when you understand your partner's distress, aspirations, insecurities, values, and goals.
Choose connection instead of power
If you think that having more ‘power’ in your relationship will make it work, think again. Relationships fall apart because of emotions, behaviors, experiences, and not because of power. They fall apart when the emotional connection is distorted and when the passion is lost.
They fall apart when couples start acting like they’re on separate teams instead of being on the same one. The only powerful relationships are the ones based on balance,
understanding, compassion, care, and love. Power is just an illusion. Power is bait used to capture those with fragile egos.
And if you’re using people and relationships to feel ‘powerful and in control’ then you’re doing it wrong and ultimately, losing out on love. If you do genuinely want to be happy and to be in a mutual relationship, create your own personal power with your self-esteem.
The reason why these power struggles play out is because your self-esteem is rocky and your relationship is a source of identity, validation, and happiness. If you have your own power and identity and you hold onto it instead of coming into relationships and investing your entire self in a gamble for an identity, you would walk away as soon as the imbalance and lack of mutuality becomes apparent. When choosing to improve your intimacy in couple, you decide to be a real team with your significant other in this amazing and full of satisfaction journey.
You give up all the power games for completely abandoning to be idea of „being together for a greater good” instead of owning the other one in an ego-tic manner. Instead of letting yourself to be lured by a power game, find creative ways to pursue connection.
Support and assist to strengthen your romantic relationship
Transfiguration is one of the 5 pillars of the Superior Intimacy model. It is about the ability to see all your lover’s unique qualities, all his/her potential and being able to help him/her flourish. In other words, one of your major roles in your love relationship is to help your spouse to become the best version of herself/himself. The only relationships that last are those that continue to grow and develop with a consistent pace.Those who do their best to keep their lover’s goals as the goals of the relationship as a unit are those who
remain happiest and remain together the longest. Luckily, the simplest form of helping your partner achieve their dreams is by facilitating the right type of environment for them. In order to be a supportive partner, a lot of it comes down to the day-to-day.
If you're laying the groundwork, they'll know the support is there, and you'll be in a strong position for when the times get harder. A strong couple relationship is one in which both people understand that the other person needs to have outside interests and activities which help them to feel happy and fulfilled.
Dr. Joe Amoia, author at GPS for Love, recommends to embrace the idea that in couple is more important to be happy than to be right.
A strong couple relationship is a love relationship in trust
Trust is the foundation for free, uninhibited, blossoming,
giving, and genuine love.
A basis for a peaceful relationship in which each partner feels heard,supported and like they can simply be themselves without fear of judgment. It is also a big determinant of attraction and chemistry and great erotic intimacy.
Without trust, none of the above is possible. Trust is what produces, keeps and maintains the deep emotional connection. And like a fire, trust needs to be fanned and fuelled to keep it going. This means consistency and trust being earned. Once you stop earning trust, the fire between the two lovers will slowly die. Gratitude is key to continuously invoke feelings of trust and appreciation for one another. Both partners should learn, over time, that you can respond and take another step-in relationship even after hurts and betrayals have occurred.
This takes a new kind of trust — the trust in ourselves to be aware of our hurts, express our hurts, address the injury and breach with our partner. Essentially, each of you should bear in mind that hurting each other from time to time, unintentionally, is inevitable.
The trust is not about being sure that the other one will never hurt us, but having the belief that together we will be able to address these hearts and breaches and, due to this capacity, our relationship will get stronger in time.
I even trust that sometimes this hurt will be a breach of an agreement we have. However, I also trust that we can take steps to address these hurts and breaches and even turn the process, over time, into a strengthening of our relationship.” This is fundamental for any strong long- term relationship: I trust my happiness and well-being is a priority for you and you trust your happiness and well- being is a priority for me.
One of the most challenging issues for a couple and one of the main reasons for divorce are the breaches of trust. “How can I trust you again after you let me down?” is the question that often receives no applicable solution even after therapy. That why being able to have joint decision can be a major strength for a couple.
Compliment your spouse often
Nothing has the power to brighten your day quite like a well- placed, sincere compliment from someone you care about, especially if that someone is your significant other. When you transfigurate you do not make an effort at all to sincerely compliment him/her. You see his/her unique qualities, potential and talents, and you are enchanted and full of admiration.
A compliment is a sign of appreciation. Make an effort to affirm your spouse's value in life, and in love.
Use character-related words that honour your spouse for such qualities as patience, helpfulness, courage, or kindness. Consciously doing what opens and softens your spouse's heart will benefit you both in the long-run and keep your relationship happier.
Behaviors that gets rewarded gets repeated. Besides enjoying the process of giving and receiving appreciation, you’re likely to find that complimenting your spouse results in her or him doing what you like more often. It is important that your compliments are sincere and honest. When they are not, your comments turn into flattery which is untrue or insincere praise. Flattery is usually received with negativity and is often perceived as being manipulative.
In other words, flattery is often just used to get something you want from the person you are flattering. It is about you, not them. A true compliment is said with a core purpose to make someone else feel good. Obviously, there's no minimum "acceptable" number of compliments: it will vary in every relationship based on individual preferences.
However, if you notice that your partner rarely compliments you — but feels comfortable criticizing you — that's a warning sign that your relationship dynamic is unhealthy.
When your significant other does not live up to your expectations or disappoints you, forgive and forget
When we hold a grudge and refuse to forgive, we leave ourselves open to the danger of ruminating about the event, and that’s especially likely to happen if the harm came from someone we regard as important to us, such as our spouse. As we rehash in our minds the episode that’s gotten us upset, we experience all the negative emotions, and perhaps some behavioral outbursts.
Yet, the hurt remains because the event can’t be taken back. Holding grudges is a lot of wasted work and destructive to
our personal well-being, not to mention our relationship.
More specifically, such behavior actually runs counter to our own self-interests — when we hold a grudge, we give power to those whom we believe harmed us. We can feel less in control of our lives because we’re focusing inwardly on the hurt and not outwardly on our own lives.
In other words, we allow ourselves to be ruled by negative emotions springing from past events. And as grudges are likely to fuel our anger, there’s a good chance we are setting ourselves up to exacerbate the problem by taking revenge, which is always a bad idea.
The most important thing to remember about forgiving is that it is something we do for ourselves, not just for our partner. We may have been justified in our anger, but how do we justify feeling bad twice?
Take care of your body properly – don’t forget about inner beauty and vitality
It is important to take care of yourself and try to look your best. Letting your looks go or becoming unhealthy and sloppy is unappealing and disrespectful to yourself and those you love.
Do not focus exclusively on how you look in a vain effort to seek validation, cultivate harmony, beauty and kindness in a functional way. Studies show that one reason we may not consciously realize the importance of physical attractiveness is that we don’t necessarily want partners who are extremely attractive — we just want partners who are attractive enough. Yet, there is a point where too much focus on beauty (or anything else) tragically takes away from other important facets of your life. Desperate efforts to look young or attractive sends the message that you have nothing to offer but your youth and beauty.
Vitality often results from leading a multi-dimensional life that involves pursuing one’s passions, being creative, having purpose, and carrying on meaningful relationships.
One the greatest source of vitality is our erotic energy. Used in a smart way (by practicing the Superior Intimacy model), our erotic energy will continuously replenish our vitality vessel.
In this way, we will start to feel most of the time full of life, energetic and vital. Consequently, our body and faces will reflect this inner state of well-being.
Learn the delightful language of intimacy
The most intriguing pillar of smart eroticism is erotic continence. Erotic continence is the capacity to fully control the pro-creative erotic potential and represents an euphoric discipline that can transform your perspective.
There are three essential elements in erotic continence that
To experience such states, a mature couple needs to build a solid foundation based on positive, and expanded attitudes, constructive behaviors and focused attention.
KEY INSIGHT
IT'S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW, IT'S WHAT YOU DO !
DAILY!
Written in 2019 after a program session in Lausanne, Switzerland with an amazing couple from Miami, US.
one needs to deeply understand and integrate in his/her behaviors when it comes to practice:
First of all, the man should totally suppress his tendency/ desire for discharge, experiencing frantically passion,
Hyper-Conscious Competence
Exemplary practice with very high awareness
amorous pleasure,and multiple orgasms (without discharge), yet never dominated by these.
Second, one needs to learn that discharge (for both men and women) is exhausting and does not constitute the amorous ecstasy and is assimilated with an enormous loss of energetic potential, subtle energy, and vital fluids that leads to emaciation and depression.
Third, practitioners have a special focus on multiple, ample,
Conscious Competence
Conscious Incompetence
MASTERY OF
SUPERIOR INTIMACY
IGNORANCE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY
Advanced practice with developed capacities of intention, attention, and awareness
Know that you don’t know
controlled state of feminine orgasms (cervix-uterine type) that creates incredible states of happiness, satisfaction, and fulfilment.
Unconscious Incompetence
Don’t know that you don’t know
Fig 66 Superior Intimacy – stages of learning (men and women).
A PRACTICAL TECHNIQUE – ABDOMINAL RETRACTION
How you do anything is how you do everything
to breathe out. The lesser air remains in your lungs the easier
the abdominal retraction will be.
"Even an old person can become young when [Uddiyana Bandha] is done regularly" (Hatha-Yoga-Pradipika 3.58).
A fundamental technique, used for increasing the erotic energy and for conducing it to the superior levels of our being: will, affection, intuition, mental, and spiritual level.
It stimulates the will, the courage, self-confidence, and it gives you lucidity and calmness. Here are the preliminary conditions of this practice:
It is compulsory to practice only when you are with an empty-stomach. Don’t eat before doing Uddiyana Bandha at least 2 hours.
In order to let the diaphragm to go up, the lungs have to be as empty as possible and to keep them like this during the entire abdominal retraction.
The abdominal belt has to be completely relaxed and passive.
The second moment: Get in the starting position again without letting anymore air to get inside, in a state of void apnoea.Then relax fast, but completely, the abdominal belt that you’ve contracted before.
Then simulate a profound thoracic breath in. You will notice that the diaphragm goes up by itself and you will realize that the abdomen retracts itself without any kind of effort.
At first you will keep the abdominal retraction, only for a few moments; the duration of abdominal retraction should be increased progressively without harming you in any way.
The end of the technique:
At the end of the abdominal retraction let the thoracic cavity to go back to its normal amplitude and the ab- dominal zone to come back to its usual position. Then
and only then you can breath!
So the abdominal muscles do not work at all during the
entire exercise.
The starting position: Standing up, bend your knees easily and put your hands on your calves just above your knees, trying to lean the entire weight of your trunk on your arms.
In order to relax your abdominal belt, your arms should sustain your shoulders, maintaining firmly your body during the entire exercise. Your legs will be spread at 30-40 cm one to the other and your soles will be parallel to each other.
The first moment: Breathe out very deeply, contracting your abdomen in order to empty your lungs completely. At the same time bend to the floor in order to make it easier for you
This way the air will get easily right to your lungs. If you breath in at the same time with the end of the abdominal retraction, the low pressure of the air that exists in the lungs will lead to a violent air stream. It will get into your lungs and it is dangerous because the alveolar membranous is extremely delicate.
After this breathe-in, stay in retention and try to observe the complex effects of this technique, the state of inner dynamism and freshness at the level of the solar plexus.
Concentration: During the entire abdominal retraction (void apnoea), you try to perceive the transmutation of your inferior energies from the pelvic zone (specific to the vital
and sexual levels) and the ascension (rise) of your energies to the superior levels situated above the solar plexus (affective, intuitive, mental, and consciousness level).
At the beginning you will feel the sublimation of energies as thrills that go up the spine. You will realize at the same moment a state of inner dynamism; the will is going up as well as the self-confidence.
The causes of a possible failure: The abdominal retraction cannot be performed successfully if:
-the lungs do not remain completely empty (as much as possible) and if you let the air to get inside at the moment of abdominal retraction.
Advice: At first you can cover your nostrils by pressing them with your thumb and forefinger in order to be sure that you keep the apnoea during the whole retraction. The abdominal belt remains contracted after you breathe out.
Advice: Before the abdominal retraction, check the relaxation of your abdominal muscles using your hand.
Effects and benefits: Its special effects appear because of the transmutation and sublimation of the vital, procreative, substantial, and sexual energies; it is an excellent practice for erotic continence;
In case you choose celibacy (complete erotic abstinence), the abdominal retraction eliminates the sensation of tension and stress on the sexual level, reflected on the psychical level in frustration, anxiety, and irascibility.
In case you choose to be a practitioner of erotic continence Uddiyana Bandha is very useful when you accumulate a huge amount of erotic energy that goes beyond your capability of controlling it.
By doing it before and after the erotic intimate experience (and even during it when you feel that you are close to
lose your control) you will feel more lucid and calm; it also generates a state of effervescence, an euphoric dynamism of the whole being;
Practiced it regularly (at least 30 times a day) is an excellent framework for men engaged in learning erotic continence.
Due to the complex effects (of harmonious stimulation, of profound massaging) on the abdomen, on the solar plexus, and on the thoracic cavity, it eliminates the bad effects of a sedentary life and maintains the vigour of the entire body.
Counter-indications: In case of severe affections of abdominal organs: colitis, appendicitis, ulcer etc.
If you will perform this technique having one of the above-mentioned diseases you will see that the abdominal retraction will make you feel a strong pain.
In such cases take it easy and continue later on, when you notice that these pains disappeared completely. Uddiyana Bandha is not counter-indicated in the case of abdominal ptosis. More over this technique eliminates it completely. Uddiyana Bandha is counter-indicated to kids under the age of 12.
Benefits: The capacity of controlling (through transmutation and sublimation) the substantial, procreative, and sexual potential; Will, firmness, self-confidence; An increased capacity of acting efficiently in any direction we want to; A constant state of optimism, joy, effervescence, positivity. energy, calmness, inner force, and locus of control.
KEY LEARNING POINTS
”He who conquers others is strong. He who conquers himself is MIGHTY.”
Lao Tzu
“Being the “best you can be” is really only possible when you
are deeply connected to another. Splendid isolation is for planets, not people.”
Socrate
“Hot erotic intimacy doesn’t lead to secure love; rather, secure attachment leads to hot erotic intimacy and also to love that lasts.”
Sue Johnson
The decrease in work-life balance has been linked to higher unwanted turnover, lower physical,
and psychological well-being.
Dissatisfaction at home leads to dissatisfaction at work, which leads to even more stress at home, and so on.
HAPPY EMPLOYEES MAKE BETTER DECISIONS
excel at managing their time, and possess other crucial leadership skills.
Empowering your employees to take control over their work and home lives can have a profound impact on their job satisfaction and performance, enabling you to make the most inspiring decisions for your company.
The conscientious spouse is likely to keep a working spouse’s personal life running smoothly. That can reduce overall stress and promote a healthy work-life
balance which can assist the working spouse in career advancement.
The ideal relationship is one in which both partners offer caring, non-judgemental, and partner- focused support.
Feeling good has a beneficial effect that builds our intellectual, social, psychological, and physical abilities.
We feel best when we are able to be fully ourselves, even in difficult circumstances.
The more curious we are, the more happier we are, both in our pleasure and joy in the moment and in our general well-being.
Happiness at home and work are interconnected like word and meaning.
The effect of gratitude is immense, and being grateful is essential in happy couple relationships.
All random acts of kindness are
A REAL BOOST TO HAPPINESS.
Employees who score high in life satisfaction are significantly more likely to receive high
ratings from customers.
When employees had erotic intimate experiences the night before, they showed up to work in a good mood. Since they were in good spirits, they were much more engaged at work, performed better, and were much more satisfied with their jobs.
When you have emotional intimacy in your private life, it can help normalize any challenges you may be facing in your career, and it might even help push you further
towards your professional goals.
Couples who use “we” vs “I” have happier
relationships, new research finds.
“We” talk is an indicator of interdependence and general positivity in romantic relationships.
"Couples who try new approaches have better erotic intimate
experiences" a new study finds.
A famous Romanian Professor of Neurosciences, affirmed that “not only religion is dogmatic."
SCIENCE IS ACTING LIKE DOGMA TOO
Plus, it has a huge dose of
arrogance.”
The problem of inner energy in leadership has been researched in great detail within the last years.
For decades, love energy was being used as the main marketing trigger for large corporations in different industries.
The fastest way to focus your mind naturally is when you have an erotic intimate experience in your couple relationship, says Daniel Goleman’s research for his book, Focus, the hidden driver to excellence.
The erotic drive can make or break a leader, depending on how he/she chooses to act.
Statistics show that in couple relationships worldwide there is a huge dose of sexual dissatisfaction and
frustration plus unaddressed and wrongly diagnosed emotional dysfunctions due to this kind of frustration.
First and foremost strategy execution requires
INNER ENERGY.
The majority of strategic initiatives fails in the execution phase due to the lack of energy and enthusiasm.
Smart eroticism is about preserving your erotic potential and then use
it smartly and appropriately.
A FULFILING COUPLE EROTIC EXPERIENCE IMPACTS
NOT ONLY YOUR INNER BALANCE, BUT ALSO YOUR LEADERSHIP GOALS.
PRACTICE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY MODEL
RESOLUTENESS PERSEVERANCE CONSISTENCY CONSTANCE COURAGE TENACITY STABILITY POWER
COLLABORATIVE STYLE SOPHISTICATION ENGAGEMENT ADAPTABILITY MAGNETISM DIPLOMACY CREATIVITY TOLERANCE SENSIBILITY
CHARISMA VIRILITY TACT
Fig. 43 As Freud suggested, sublimation is usually considered a healthy and mature way of dealing with impulses (libido). Directing resulted inner energy in different areas drives new traits/existing traits development or improvement.
PART THREE
Leadership with New Lenses
NSPIRE
THE METASKILLS FOR INTELLIGENT LEADERS
An eye-opener, with a broad view on the key areas and drivers of charismatic leadership, far from the wide-spread thinking
”There is nothing so practical as a good theory.“
Kurt Levin, Psychologist
”Just as water lilies retract when sunlight fades, so do our minds when positivity fades.”
Leadership is often associated with talent and skill. Yet talents alone don't make great leaders. It's the combination of talent, technical skill and meta-skills that help build transformational leaders.
Barbara Fredrickson, PhD
What’s a meta-skill? A meta-skill is essentially a special skill that enables, sustain and empowers other skills to develop. They are the essential foundation on which you are able to engage with new skills development in a very productive, pleasant and fulfilling way.
There are many different meta-skills, from self-awareness to willpower to critical thinking to empathy to self- control. Some of these can be thought of as soft skills, but they are anything but soft. They are inner abilities that inform every choice you do and apply to all facets of our life.
We can see why they’re so important and essential. Of the many meta-skills, there’s a single one that reigns supreme: the ability to learn and unlearn, again and again.
Knowing how to learn and to unlearn is what allows transformational change to happen, and even the development of other meta-skills are derived from our ability to learn and to unlearn.
If you know how to learn and how to unlearn picking up erotic continence or creativity or meditation are that much easier. If you don’t, they become much more challenging journeys.
Meta-skills are the platform that allow people to leverage
other skills (technical, organizational, psychological etc), in order to effectively lead and engage teams productively.
Called "soft skills" by many in the corporate arena, meta- skills are formed by the inner talents (unknown) not directly focused yet naturally developed.
This might bring on the table “nature vs nurture” dilemma. We believe that to build a metaskill one needs to engage with the mantra of “you nurture with your nature”.
However, a meta-skill helps one map, bridge, and integrate the gap between functional ability and successful execution. And these are precisely the skills needed to turn visionary managers into highly charismatic leaders. They are also the secret ingredients that influence how leaders impact others and create transformational change.
The last major crisis has reminded business leaders of the need to quickly adapt to the context. As aspects of the crisis have lingered, the nimblest leaders have weathered the storm best. This has signalled business leaders of the continuous quest to quickly adapt to change.
In this article, we shall discuss the importance of a new kind of leadership for anticipating and responding to change.
We will offer insights into the mindset and practices of leaders that are able to adapt and thrive in the long term, the various types of intelligence that make up a superior perspective, and the need for Superior Intimacy.
Why is leadership so important in our days?
It’s no secret that continuous change is the constant. It's no secret that change takes place faster today than ever before, and certainly, technology has played a key role in accelerating the pace of change.
As a result, leaders are forced to fundamentally adjust, and this makes them feel uncomfortable. A leader's leadership is a series of choices that, to be charismatic, must remain consistent with what's happening in his/her personal and professional contexts.
As this environment changes constantly and quickly, a leader that is not prepared to keep pace will ultimately fail. Still, many leaders find it difficult to adjust their leadership.
Major changes or transformations often require asking leaders to adopt specific behaviors or skill-sets in order to be successful.
"Change begins with me" and “be the change you want to see in others”, said wise people who reflected on the subject. Mastering change implies mastering behavioral change.
For instance, to award those who are role-models for change. We believe that leadership is about relationships and the best laboratory for leadership development is your couple relationship.
Emotional intelligence is a must
The extent to which a leader is capable to create and sustain happiness in his/her couple relationship correlates with his/her emotional intelligence, a much-needed trait in leadership. Many are unable to respond in a timely fashion to the need for change in their personal relationships in the first place.
Others that are capable of responding more quickly to change in their private life, are also able to pull ahead, and therefore have a much higher chance of survival when challenges arise in their professional life.
It is similar with meditation,with jogging,with any private practice. Ability to be deal with emotions at home helps in dealing with emotions at the office. If you know how to create happiness at home it is highly probably that will know how to create passion, enthusiasm and engagement at the office. The key to happiness requires first a systemic shift that should happen at his/her consciousness level. It involves moving from profit to purpose, from directive leadership to supportive leadership, from secrecy to transparency, from open mind to open heart, from instinct
to superior controlled behaviors.
When senior leaders model the behavioral changes, trans-
formations are 5 times more likely to be successful.
One of the best ways to engage followers and drive
If a leader chooses a path without incorporating the personal transformation ability on an ongoing basis, this implies putting themselves at risk.
commitment is to recognize those open individuals who
are embracing the change and demonstrating desired behaviors.
What dangers face a leader who does not intend to evolve? In this case, the leader is essentially committing
to stagnation or, at best, moving forward as if wearing blinders for marginal improvements. Even if they execute their strategy effectively, they may soon find that they are effectively executing choices that are outdated or flawed. In time, failure to change at a fundamental level is reflected in the leader’s charisma, effectiveness and performance, and the natural reaction is to simply work harder rather than revise strategy (smarter).
Unfortunately, this approach only actually works in the short term: greater effort brings the leader closer to maximum efficiency and results may temporarily improve, which only reinforces their flawed approach. Not before long, however, performance declines again, and then the leader has to try something else. All the while, the leader is postponing major transformation, which in most of the cases causes a gradual loss of the ability to change.
By the time the leader recognizes the need to adjust course and becomes ready to act, the process has become extremely difficult, expensive, and painful. The fundamental mistake in a leader’s approach is that it frames the issue as "When should I change?". In reality, a leader should be changing all the time.
So, the question is not "When?" but rather "How?" – the process should be gradual, ongoing, measurable, and designed to outgrow the current status.
What are the key traits of the charismatic leaders?
Charismatic leaders can be identified in terms of their self- awareness, inner energy, and curiosity. The most charismatic leaders embrace continuous transformation concept (they never stagnate) and are never satisfied with their current status-quo.
This means, of course, that they actually have a personal strategy — because it’s difficult to change something that
isn’t defined. Conscious leaders have a clear idea of what they’re trying to achieve and they’ve redesigned their model for success. They’re continuous redesign their plan always trying to improve their approach – to push for greater meaning at work, satisfaction, happiness, to drive up inner energy, and widen the gap between high performance and inner energy effective usage.
They always learn. They want to become better and better.
Successful leaders are also somewhat (r)evolutionary. They know what could derail them and they consider various ways of addressing such risks while aiming to create, capture and deliver value.
They're creative in identifying alternative models and they actively test these models to see which ones are feasible for them. When they find a new model that works more effectively, they commit themselves to roll it out.
Gandhi is a classic example of (r)evolutionary leader. Several times has he identified a new model and improved his leadership in a very fast way. He always underlined the importance of reinvention on a regular basis. On the structural side, successful leaders are the ones that design themselves for transformation.
What types of intelligence are the most important for a leader?
A general definition says that intelligence is the ability to adapt to change. Leaders not only need to be equipped with information and resources, but they need to feel confident leading through change. This can be especially challenging, as in our times leaders face more pressure to provide better answers, better results, and better of everything they do.
How your leadership reacts to change will trickle down and impact your entire organization by large. Interestingly, there are multiple forms of intelligence, and few of them are particularly important in business:
The first is emotional intelligence. The vast majority of decisions we make are based on our emotions. Many of us are trying to rationalize emotions because this is what we've learned to do. Human beings basically move towards things that give them pleasure, satisfaction, and happiness, and away from things that cause them pain, discomfort, and frustration.
Second, rational intelligence is essential. This is the ability to think your way through a problem in a rational way, the sort of intelligence that’s relevant in IQ tests.
Third, there’s creative intelligence – the ability to break out of your current thinking and look at things in different ways. The good news is that this can be trained and developed.
The fourth type is social intelligence. As we all know, emotions are catchy. And learning to motivate others – to deal with their emotions in order to help them commit and sustain in a given direction – is important, if not crucial, in a highly competitive and changing context.
Fifth, and maybe the most important, but less known, is erotic intelligence. Erotic energy has fascinated mankind for ages and is seen as the "untouchable" taboo topic, especially in corporations, academia or media.
However, this "under the carpet" leadership aspect is part of life, and by the way, it creates life. One leadership professor from IE Business School in Madrid remarked in an email send to one of us that “Erotic energy is an important source of creativity, charisma, and movement/ action in the world."
The formula is to cultivate intense positive emotions with a new set of behaviors in erotic intimate experiences that facilitate intense positive emotions before and after (especially) the experience. And we don’t need much science to accept that what we do at home impacts how effective we are at office.
Positive emotions in the workplace facilitate more effective leadership as well as increasing job satisfaction.
A 2013 study surveyed employees to assess the relationship between transformational leadership and positive emotions on the one hand, and the impact on task performance on the other; the study found that transformational leadership and positive emotions have a positive effect on task performance (Liang & Steve Chi, 2013).
Not only was transformational leadership’s effect on performance enhanced, but its impact on office engagement was also found to be enhanced by positive emotions (Wang, Li, & Li, 2017).
Similarly, authentic leadership was found to lead to more effective innovation in employees when coupled with positive emotions (Zhou, Ma, Cheng, & Xia, 2014).
Another style of leadership, known as intellectual stimulating leadership, is more effective in boosting employee job satisfaction, effort, and effectiveness when positive emotions like enthusiasm, hope, pride, happiness, and inspiration complement the leadership (Zineldin, 2017).
Erotic intimacy is a well-known idea yet so-long ignored or labelled as something negative, dismissed from start or minimized as importance. Of course, in this material we want to position and to explore the positive opportunities
that this experience might offer. A similar example is psychology which for decades studied only the negative aspects, until Martin Seligman reinvented the field launching the positive psychology domain.
higher their pay and better their leader evaluations were 18 months later (Staw, Sutton, & Pelled, 1994). Further research found that increased positive emotions resulted in increased clarity surrounding expectations in one’s
role, effective and value-congruent use of organizational
Someone who has all 5 forms of intelligence, along with the commitment and courage to learn new skills, is able
to truly drive outstanding results.
Simply hiring the smartest people isn’t usually enough, because smartness is measured in terms of rational intelligence. A group of people with above-average rational intelligence may have little or no erotic intelligence.
Erotic frustration is a big problem-cause in corporations and not discussed, except harassment policies (which are articulated clearly). There is much to come to this area. Fortunately, all 5 forms of intelligence can be boosted significantly. Although people are limited by their capacity in each area, each individual can be trained to make the most of his/her ability.
Positive emotions impact the Company’s Financial Performance
Knowing how to intelligently integrate eroticism will solve multiple problems and will build a platform for change. It will reinstall passion, enthusiasm, and zest for life.
Also it challenges executives to examine weather they utilize an inner resource that otherwise was ignored. When employees experience positive emotions in their private life, they experience a broadening of perspective and may be able to build important inner resources.
Early research on the effects of positive emotion on employee achievement and productivity found that the more positive emotion an individual experienced, the
resources, fulfilment in one’s role, better relationships at work, and a general increase in the ownership employees feel over their work and the creativity that drives innovation and contributes to organizational success (Harter, Schmidt, & Keyes, 2002).
Finally, positive emotions (in the form of hope, optimism, and resilience) were found to not only increase organizational commitment, work happiness, job satisfaction, but also to improve performance and productivity, measured by both self-report and organizational performance appraisals (Youssef & Luthans, 2007).
The practice of smart eroticism offers one the opportunity to analyse the behavioral patterns specific to low, medium, and high erotic IQ. The toolkit presented provide a clear map on how to improve leader's erotic IQ level — and it gives executives practical tools to make their leadership more charismatic in the long run (Fig.44).
KEY INSIGHT
EROTIC ENERGY IS AN IMPORTANT SOURCE OF CREATIVITY, CHARISMA,AND MOVEMENT/ACTION
IN THE WORLD.
Written on Oct 2015, after a meeting with an IE Business School leadership professor. Reviewed in 2019.
BUILDING HIGH PSYCHOLOGICAL CAPITAL
Fig. 61 Adapted after Broaden-Build model (Barbara Fredrickson).
GOOD SLEEP IMPACTS OUR MENTAL CAPACITIES. SO WHAT?
Contextual factors are critical for successful change in organizations
”Positive people cognitively process more efficiently and more appropriately. If you're in a negative mood, a fair amount of processing is going to that mood.When you're in a positive mood, you're more open to taking in information and handling it effectively.“
Sigal Barsade, PhD,Wharton School of the
University of Pennsylvania
”Pleasures are as necessary for the existence and well- being of the body as is food."
Kamasutra
In some companies, traditional annual review processes are being replaced by ongoing efforts to help employees improve their performance. The challenge? Many managers do not consider other aspects that affect employee behavior and ultimately performance.
Research shows that people can and do change. The frustration expressed by managers was not that development was difficult, but that it was unpredictable
– that sometimes it happened and other times it didn't.
What a manager can do?
Recognizing the limitations of the conventional approaches to change, many organizations have moved to coaching by managers.
Coaching conversations have a different – more collaborative – tone than the more instructional "identify and resolve" approach, but at their core they are still primarily about identifying what people need to change and what they must do about it. This approach is fine
as far as it goes, but it doesn't go far enough. It neglects the context. This is critical, because many studies have shown that contextual factors are more important in determining whether change and development happen than the content and the quality of the development activity itself.
To identify which of the contextual factors are the most important for successful change you can have a look on the evidences from the 4 very different psychological research: behaviorism, cognitive psychology, systemic psychotherapy, and behavioral economics. Personal factors are significant and they need to be evaluated carefully with vitality at its core.
Is erotic intimacy a factor that impact leadership?
A good night sleep influence attention, concentration, creativity, insight development, pattern recognition, learning and memory, decision making, and much more – which all in different degrees are associated with effective leadership.(Fig.45)
A good night sleep impacts several critical mental capacities of an individual. If sleep is so important, what about intimacy impact on our productivity at work?
If a good night sleep can have such a high impact on effective leadership, can you imagine what the benefits of erotic intimacy are – which in other words means hours of intense and conscious positive emotions?
LACK OF SLEEP LEADS TO
More mistakes | Less innovative thinking, poorer risk analysis, and strategic planning
Increased deviant and unethical behavior
Rudeness | Inappropriate responses | Cheating on reporting Significantly higher (60% more) activity in the amygdala
Poorer connection with the pre-frontal cortex (“policeman of the brain”) | Connection with another part of the brain associated with the production of adrenaline
LACK OF EROTIC INTIMACY LEADS TO
Anger | Frustration | Loss of Desire | Depression | Creativity Decline | Unhappiness | Lack of Fulfilment
Mental capacities affected by sleep
Types of leadership behavior associated with effective leadership*
*Based on a study of 81 organizations and 189.000 people around the world.
Fig.45 Good sleep is directly impacted by intimate erotic experiences. McKinsey study showed that good sleep impacts mental capacities and consequently leadership behavior associated with effective leadership.
This may sound too much for an overloaded manager to contemplate. Yet the factor mentioned above can be addressed through relatively simple techniques.
Jacques Ferber – PhD Cognitive Science, University of Montpellier – “Intimate erotic experiences, desire and love form a gateway to the development of the being.” Le monde change… et nous? clés et enjeux du développement relationnel, 200852
Daniel Goleman – Author and science journalist – "It turns out that people are naturally most focused during sex. No surprise!” Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence, 201353
Napoleon Hill – Author, – "Erotic energy is the most powerful energy in human beings. The emotions of the amorous game have the constructive potentiality to transform mediocrity into genius.” Think and Grow Rich, 193751
Barbara Fredrickson – PhD Psychology, Kenan Distinguished Professor University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill – “Love is our supreme emotion. The love you do or do not experience today may quite literally change key aspects of your cellular architecture-cells that affect physical health, vitality, and overall well-being.” Love 2.0, 201350
Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi – Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Management, Claremont Graduate University – “People who learn to control inner experiences will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.” The Psychology of Optimal Experience, 199054
George Vaillant – PhD Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School – “The 75 years and $ 20 million expended on the Harvard Grant Study points to a straightforward five-
word conclusion: Happiness is love. Full stop.” Triumphs of Experience, 201255
Sonja Lyubomirsky – PhD Psychology, University of California – “Truly happy individuals construe life events and daily situations in ways that seem to maintain their happiness.They experience and react to life circumstances in relatively more positive and more adaptive ways.” The How of Happiness, 200856
Sting – Musician,singer,composer,multi-Instrumentalist, actor, producer – “When we see each other it’s romance. We love each other and Trudie lights up my world when she comes into a room. I don’t take her for granted. The erotic part is only the surface. If we had seven hours, I would demonstrate.48”
Raymond Bernard – PhD Education, New York University.
"Scientific evidence point to the fact that human semi- nal fluid contains substances of great physiological value and that is highly beneficial to our health.” Science Dis-
covers the Physiological Value of Continence, 195749
Ten Reasons Erotic Intimacy Are Good for You
1. You will strengthen your immune system. Orgasms (without discharge) release hormones beneficial to immunity. DHEA (dehydroepiandrosterone), for instance, bolsters the immune system against colds and the flu and helps to maintain and repair body tissues.
A study done at the Wilkes University, Department of Psychology and published in Psychological Reports in June 2004 surveyed 112 college students on the frequency of their erotic intimacy encounters. Saliva samples were collected to test for the presence of immunoglobulin (IgA),
an antibody that protects against colds and infections. Those students reporting the greatest frequency of erotic intimacy activity, defined as 2 or more times a week, showed “significantly higher” levels of IgA than those students who were less active in intimacy.
You will reduce stress. You probably know this to be true from first-hand experience. Nothing quite as quickly and dramatically transform the tensions of the day as the experiences that appears during lovemaking. You are certainly energized.
You will relieve depression. “The hormones released during lovemaking and orgasms (without discharge) elevate a person’s mood sufficiently to dispel most symptoms of depression. If, however, the depression is severe or long-term, then it might prevent the erotic intimacy experience.
You will strengthen your body. Erotic intimacy intercourse requires a sequence of muscle contractions and movements for both men and women that provides a good source of exercise. Doing Kegel exercises, too, before and during intercourse can intensify the experience and can help fixing the problems with premature discharge, incontinence, or erectile dysfunction.
You will sleep better. Both men and women experience a drop-in blood pressure after an orgasm without discharge. This drop, combined with the release of endorphins, is a great tranquillizer for people who have trouble falling asleep.
You will improve your sense of smell. Science has shown us the role that pheromones play in attraction and erotic intimacy chemistry. But did you know that new neurons develop in your brain and telomeres are improved during the erotic intimate experience.?
You will reduce your risk of heart attack. Numerous medical studies have found that having erotic intimate experiences at least 3 times a week significantly lowers the risk of heart disease or a stroke. The combination of orgasm (without discharge) hormones and increased blood flow helps to keep the heart healthy.
You will lose weight. You’ve probably heard that you lose 1 pound of fat for every additional 3,500 calories that you burn. By most estimates, a half hour of erotic intimacy intercourse burns about 150 calories, and even more if you’re particularly vigorous in your lovemaking. So, having erotic intimate experiences 3 times a week may take off that pound of weight in just a couple of months.
You will relieve pain. When orgasms (without discharge) release oxytocin into your body, endorphins are secreted, and these natural opiates exercise an analgesic effect that is beneficial to reducing pain associated with arthritis, headaches, and many other ailments.
You will live longer. Medical studies have accumulated impressive evidence that orgasm frequency is related to longevity. On average, people who have 2 or more orgasms a week have half the death rate of similarly aged people who experience orgasms only once a month.
Clearly, there are opportunities to redirect managerial effort to supporting behavioral change and development.
KEY INSIGHT
EROTIC INTIMACY CAN MAKE THE DAY
Summary of the key ideas presented at a leadership
seminar in Lausanne, Switzerland
PROGRAM STRUCTURE
Feb 2021
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER
MODULE VII
1 day (8h)
DETAILED Q&A
MODULE VI
Online (4h)
MODULE III
Online (4h)
MODULE IV
1 day (8h)
MODULE V
Online (4h)
FEMININITY& MASCULINITY
MODULE II
Online (4h)
SPECIFIC TECHNIQUES PER PILLARS
MODULE I
2 days (16h)
UNDERSTANDING THE CONCEPT
Feb 2020
Weekly/Monthly Session with Dedicated Coach (Online)
Fig.46 Combination of 30h on-site +16h online.
LEADERSHIP CAN BE DEVELOPED THROUGH ATTENTIVE, SYSTEMATIC, AND PERSEVERING PRACTICE
You can become a charismatic leader if you apply the adequate methods and are persevering
”Leadership is about doing the right thing, even if it going against a vast number of naysayers and mediocre people.“
N. R. Narayana Murthy, Founder Infosys
”The reason why so much has been written about intimate experiences was – it was invented to happen and not to be described“
Eric Berne
Everyone can take on a leadership role, regardless of formal job description. Leadership today is multi-facd rather than "command and control". Listening well to others and taking the initiative to transform are both key steps to charismatic leadership, whatever form it may take.
You can become a charismatic leader if you apply the adequate methods and are persevering. Anyone who aspires can become a leader, given the right motivation, adequate tools, techniques, and context.
How to become a leader in your organization
Cristina is one of a large staff of accounting department in an consulting company. When clients have a question about how to do a P&L review for a board presentation, they ask Cristina rather than approach their often – cranky supervisor.
Johann works as part of a virtual team of investment analysts across Europe – a based group employed by a large investment organization. Highly engaged in
his work, Johann has made a point of getting to know members of other teams as well as to learn about the new strategy of his organization.
Everyone in the firm knows Cristina, even the people who aren't on her team. Officially, she's a senior accountant with economic background in insurance industry in a large organization.
Unofficially, Cristina is known for creating a positive climate through her upbeat energy and open-hearted concern for her colleagues. Nevertheless, in some cases she's perceived as having an aggressive attitude.
What do this marketing executive, investment analyst, and accountant have in common? Each of them is a leader, even though their official position does not include a formal leadership role and both of them are meditation practitioners
In most organizations, people look to senior executives for some form of leadership, whether it is technical expertise, emotional support or knowledge about the
strategy dynamics.
However, regardless of the role, the key message is that anyone can become a leader in his/her organization following the path described in Fig.47
Of course, some people have titles and responsibilities that position them as someone who is in charge. And they extract leadership from their position. There are also people who take and cultivate a leadership attitude and
presence no matter the position they’re in.
These kind leaders are actively engaged in their work and influential in their interactions with others. They take initiative in sharing their insights into how things get done. Sometimes, like with Cristina, leadership shows up as task expertise, experience or positive energy when things get tough. Often, it takes the form of someone exercising emotional, social skills or focus.
time), and even creative. His drive to achieve and deliver, despite circumstances, helped him to act on initiatives, to build productive relationships outside his organization. Despite being an introvert people in his team, Johann is able to build connections with clients and to provide important information to senior executives from other organizations. He knows well that context is king.
Meditation practice good idea to improve your
leadership capacity
Emotional, social intelligence, and mental focus are key competencies that distinguish high-performing leaders from more average peers.
Cristina and Johann each demonstrate capacity for charismatic leadership. In her interactions with others in the company, Cristina projecst high positive energy which contaminates. Through her listening attentively and expressing her positive views, Cristina influences the work of others and acts as an informal leader in her company.
Johann clearly demonstrates ability to remain focused in the present moment, integrated (being in the flow most of the
If you are disciplined, persevering and serious with the practice of meditation your self-awareness will gradually and constantly develop. The consistent practice of meditation over the years offers more benefits as meditators reach the long-term range of lifetime hours, around +1,000 hours.(see Fig 47)
This means a daily meditation practice and perhaps annual retreats with further instruction lasting 10 days or so – all sustained over many years. The initial benefits deepen, while others emerge. For example, in this range we see the emergence of neural and hormonal indicators of lessened stress reactivity. In addition, functional connectivity in
MEDITATION
SELF- AWARENESS
DEVELOPMENT
ALTERED TRAITS
PERMANENT
TRAITS
Principle of "Gradually then Suddenly”
Fig. 47 The How from meditation to permanent traits
Feelings of energy Satisfaction (affective) – Involvement
Commitment – Empowerment
Positive views of life and work Proactive personality – Positive affect Locus of control – Conscientiousness
Extra-role behavior – Organizational citizenship behavior – Proactive/personal initiative – Role expansion – Engagement with others (team, leaders)
Fig. 48 Stages of behavioral change
the brain in a circuit important for emotion regulation is strengthened, and cortisol, a key hormone secreted by the adrenal gland in response to stress, lessens. Meditation practice over the long term enhance capacity for selective neural resonance with others, along with empathy and a greater likelihood of actually understanding others better.
Capacity of attention, too, strengthens in many aspects with long-term practice: selective attention sharpens, the attentional blink diminishes, sustained attention becomes easier, and an alert readiness to respond increases. Also long-term practitioners show enhanced ability to down- regulate the mind-wandering and self-obsessed thoughts of the default mode, as well as weakening connectivity within those circuits – signifying less self-preoccupation.
These improvements often show up during meditative states, and generally tend to become traits. In initial phases you will experience an altered (modified) state because through the process of meditation you build new neural networks.
The new neural network created will bring to life the seed for a new trait. The more you experience that state the more you grow the trait. Depending on intensity,
duration, and perseverance you will be able to develop that trait which soon will be reflected in your behavior.
Who are the leaders ?
When you hear that question, do you immediately visualize the organizational chart and the CEO, division heads, managers, and team leaders? Or do others with less obvious leader-type jobs show up on your personal list of the leaders in your organization? What leadership qualities do you see in those "not-in-a-formal-leader- position" leaders? How can you become a leader in your organization? Ask yourself these questions and ask your colleagues.
Listen to your own answer and pay attention to what your colleagues say. Everyone can take on a leadership role, regardless of formal job description. Listening well to others and taking the initiative to act are both key steps to charismatic leadership, whatever form it may take.
There's not a leader on the planet that cannot improve his or her leadership effectiveness, but getting better as a leader doesn't "happen" by accident.
Fortunately, there are many things you can do, on your
own or with the help of those around you that can produce the learning needed to improve. It's great when you can be mentored, or have someone in a leadership position help you hone your leadership skills, but the
Obviously, the best allocation of resources to develop leaders within an organization will take into account potential (including "born" components) and skill building (the "made" component).
ultimate responsibility lies with you, and it's something
you need to do continuously.
A leader has to be a role model and an inspiration
The practice has the amazing advantage to highlight one’s potential while helping them build new leadership
capacities.
A significant body of leadership literature suggests that
the better you understand yourself, the better able you will be to lead others. While self-discovery and awareness are not the be alls and end alls of leadership development, it's almost always useful to become more aware.
In the 13th Century, St. Thomas Aquinas observed, “most men seem to live according to sense than to reason.” Nowadays, over 700 years later, science confirms that feelings and emotions really do drive most human behavior.
According to research conducted by the Institute of HeartMath, the heart routinely informs the brain of the body’s emotional state, and the outcome has a profound impact on brain functioning and decision-making.
“When human beings experience a steady flow of positive feelings and emotions (e.g. appreciation, inspiration and happiness)”, said HeartMath’s Director of Research, Rollin McCraty, PhD told recently, “the heart flips into what’s called ‘coherence.”
And when people feel appreciated by their bosses, supported, healthily connected to the people they work with, growing, loved, and able to live meaningful lives, this inherently creates coherence. All boiled down, it means the communication going on between the heart and mind is so ideal that it puts people into their optimal level of performance.”
One of the best ways to help people understand "how things are done around here" and what is important in the organization is to model it for staff. As a leader, you have to be the role model – the energy generator and the inspiring presence that put things and ideas into the right
context and motion.
KEY INSIGHT
STATES BECOME TRAITS. BEHAVIORS FOLLOWS.
Written after "Biennial International Alumni Event – The Digital Revolution’", IMD Lausanne, Sept 2014
Fig. 49 Martin Seligman, PERMA model applies.
THE IMPACT OF REGULAR INTIMATE EROTIC ACTIVITY
In a meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, scientists found strong evidence of directional causality between life satisfaction and successful business outcomes
”Intimate experience adds years to your life.“
Tom LeDuc
Research says that people who have regular erotic intimate activities are half as likely to have heart attacks and strokes
”More intimacy and better quality erotic activities
increase happiness.“
David G. Blanchflower, PhD Daniel Kahneman,
Nobel Prize Winner in Economy
Science has shown that our pleasure pathway plays a much greater role in our lives than just the survival of the species.
It is now believed this reward system has to be sufficiently stimulated as often as daily if we are to feel, function, and perform to our maximum potential.
Aspiring to success? Start with being erotically active
We don't have to become "Thrill Seekers" to stimulate our Reward System. Even the wise use of the basic necessities of life, such as eating, drinking, and physical exercise stimulates our "Pleasure Pathway."
But staying erotically active has its own set of rewards because you receive so many benefits from one activity. According to recent studies, frequent orgasms, at least 100 per year, can increase life expectancy by 3 to 8 years58.
Regular intimate activity is so beneficial to our health it is amazing how seldom it is discussed within this context. It lowers blood pressure, improves cholesterol, and increases circulation. It raises one's heart rate from 70 to 150 beats per minute.
than those who don't.
Every muscle in the body is worked and toned during erotic intimacy, particularly the pelvis, buttocks, stomach, and arms. 30 minutes of intimate experience can burn as many as 200 calories.
Think of what can happen if (due to the practice of erotic continence) they both choose to make love for 3 hours? Or 6-7 hours in a row? Sting was not a liar when he claimed in an interview that it is possible. There is substantial evidence that intimate experiences reduces food cravings, helps control your appetite, and assists your body in absorbing the nutrients from food more easily.
It boosts immunity, aids in tissue repair, increases cognition, reduces stress, improves sleep, builds strong bones one study found.Regular orgasms even dramatically reduces the incidence of the common cold.
The intimacy and bonding you receive from remaining erotically active are more vital to your long-term health than most people think.
If you want to live a long and healthy life your biggest enemies are loneliness and boredom. Touch is necessary for all mammals to thrive. Babies and animals that are deprived of physical touch rarely develop normally. Frequent touching is one way we enhance one another's self-esteem and nothing will help one live longer than a strong and vital sense of self-worth.
Research shows that creativity, strategy, linearity light up different brain zones, so that one is able to have more energy, more productivity in professional life. According to a study conducted at University of Oregon, happy home life can result in an increase in immersion and productivity, leading to happier work life.
Specifically, they found that workers with an active erotic life reported higher levels of engagement and satisfaction than those with strained relationships or other stressors
59
outcomes. Happy employees have, on average 31% higher productivity, their sales are 37% higher and their creativity is three times higher61. Erotic activity and happiness are interconnected, claims a study supervised by Daniel Kahneman.
Erotic intimacy produces the greatest amount of happiness – better quality erotic experiences increase happiness level, while unwanted Eros lowers happiness level.
at home
. As much as we try to separate our personal
A 2012 study on the resolution phase of erotic intimacy
and professional lives, there’s no denying that there’s a
correlation here (Fig.23).
All leaders must know that the heart can have more influence on his/her success than his/her brain.
showed that couples who engage in pillow talk, kissing and cuddling after intercourse report greater erotic intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
A surprising amount of research – much of it quite recent
– suggests that erotic intimacy has lingering effects on the
The habits you cultivate, the way you interact with co- workers, how you think about stress – all these can be
brain, and that orgasm experience has much in common with drugs.
managed to increase your happiness and your chances of
success.
Erotic Intimacy rewires your brain for happiness and success
An act that positively impact not only individual overall state but also couple relationship at its core. Much better, more effective and more efficient than couple therapy, personal coaching or a typical leadership program. Recent research on neuroplasticity – the ability of the brain to change even in adulthood – reveals that as you develop new habits, you rewire your brain. Training your brain to be positive is not so different from training your muscles at the gym60.
In a meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, Sonja Lyubomirsky and all found strong evidence of directional causality between life satisfaction and successful business
In short, the effects are quite likely powerful enough to affect our perceptions, priorities, feelings of well-being, contentment, and relationship harmony for a time.
Indirectly, this research also suggests why erotic intimacy may naturally increase our capacity to bond, and help counter addiction, stress, and depression.
Funding sources and long held assumptions, however, ensure that most researchers in the area are engaged in the study of how pharmaceuticals might be developed to "enhance" conventional sex forcefully (and clumsily), rather than the study of how we might work with our biology to protect our pair bonds and enhance our overall well-being.
Men and women are different – they need each other for being happy and successful
Now here’s the mind-blowing part… even though females tend to be more right-brained in nature,men have 50% more serotonin receptors than women do. 50% more! So what does that mean in the context of romantic relationships?
Whether or not any of these leaders were aware, these steady drips of intentional humanity and care had a profound and uncommon impact on your heart and spirit. Undoubtedly, they inspired you to do so some of your very best work as well.
The lesson from science is that leadership that affects
hearts draws out human greatness. Just imagine the
Women need twice as much love and affection to achieve
similar levels of happiness as men and need twice as much love and affection in order to have the same levels
of serotonin and dopamine.
Women need twice as much positive reinforcement from our external environment than men do in order to drive the same amount of motivation in dopamine activity.
Women need more encouragement along the way to elicit the same neurochemical cascade. If she doesn't get the positive reinforcement from her environment, her serotonin levels will drop, and eventually so will her dopamine. Serotonin (happiness hormone) is a right brain neurotransmitter and is raised by chemicals.
It is elevated by positive feedback from our loved ones, our work, and our environment. Your loved one, in the context of your relationship, raises your levels of serotonin.
In another nationally representative survey of 3432 US citizens, it was found that individuals with no erotic partners in the past 12 months had the lowest levels of happiness. Common sense? Yes!
If you were asked to describe the best managers you’ve ever had in your career, you’re likely to say they cared about you personally, taught and coached you, treated you with great respect and fairness – and openly expressed gratitude for all of your many contributions.
impact on society – and business – were we all to put this breakthrough knowledge to use.
KEY INSIGHT
EROTIC ACTIVITY AND HAPPINESS ARE
INTERCONNECTED
Written after attending the "Biennial International Alumni Event – The Digital Revolution’", IMD Lausanne, Sept 2014
Fig.49 The impact of Superior Intimacy model. Internal research.
PINEAL GLAND- THE MYSTERIOUS KEY TO A MEANINGFUL LIFE
Want to become creative? Activate pineal gland!
„The plastic brain solves the riddle of sublimation”
Norman Doidge, physician, psychiatrist, writer, The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the
Frontiers of Brain Science
“My view is that this gland [pineal gland] is the principal seat of the Soul.”
balanced. The pineal gland balances the entrance of the organism in temporal rhythms by secreting serotonin and melatonin and by communicating with the hypothalamus
.Nevertheless….Why did we choose to write about the pineal gland in a leadership book?
Rene Descartes
The pineal gland – where is it located and why do we need it
The pineal gland, also known as the epiphysis or the pineal body is a tiny endocrine gland located near the centre of the brain, between the two cerebral hemispheres. One of its specific characteristics is that requires more blood and oxygen than any other organ, except the kidneys.
Its name comes from the pine-cone similar shape. Synthetically, the pineal gland converts a neural signal into an endocrine output.
This organ is our internal biological clock which helps the organism integrate in the natural rhythms of the environment it lives in. This tiny organ sends us messages about when we need to sleep (even we ignore it), when does puberty start, hoe to adapt to seasonal changes, etc.
Aspects of the external environment, such as temperature and light, as well as internal messages about emotions, states we are going through – all these are guiders so that the pineal gland to adapt the biology of the organism to the environment. The state of mind, sleep, immunity, seasonal rhythms, menstruation, and even aging are
Fig.50 Location of the Pineal Gland
The pineal gland is responsible for raising creativity up above the normal levels and it also liberates the hor-
mones of the intense happiness.
And we already know that happiness plays a vital role for an effective leadership. Basically, it’s harmonious functioning is the base for the work-life integration process.
Pineal gland – the subtle gate to spirituality?
The pineal gland governs, alongside the pituitary gland, the carotid plexus. Each of the nerve plexuses in the body have a correspondent endocrine gland and governs its function.
Essentially, the cone-shaped pineal gland governs and (when necessary) inhibits the pituitary gland function. From a spiritual perspective, it is the balancing of these two glands that helps facilitate the opening of the Third Eye.
Dr Rick Strassman’s research on near-death experiences in 1990s is renowned. He proved that the pineal gland is also responsible for secreting the naturally occurring psychedelic hormone dimethyltryptamine (DMT), considered to be the spirit molecule.
It is believed DMT might help contribute to the visual effects of natural dreaming, religious visions, near-death experiences, or other altered states, being structurally analogous to both serotonin and melatonin.
This hormone is produced in the pineal gland during deep meditation, erotic bliss, extraordinary conditions of birth, extreme physical stress, and near-death experiences.
During the Rapid Eye Movement phase of sleep, DMT is released into the bloodstream and alters our dream consciousness. This is the biological prove for the body-spirit interconnection because of its relationship
to unusual states of transcendent consciousness and visionary experiences. Dr. Rick Strassman named DMT the Spirit Molecule.
DMT’s chemical characteristics reinforce the idea that the pineal gland is a portal that connects us to a greater
consciousness.
Therefore, the pineal gland is involved not only in the adaptation of the body to the environment but also supports the fact that the human being is a whole persona, helping him to also adapt its structures to the subtle energetic and spiritual environment that it lives in.
During near death or mystical experiences, as well as during birth and death – the beginning and the end of human life on Earth, the consciousness translates and travels between subtle plans. This is when the pineal gland has the most intense activity, translated into the massive secretion of DMT.
What causes the blockage of the pineal gland
The harmonious function of the pineal gland provides a state of wellness, inner balance, a tendency to spirit- uality, a meaningful perspective of life, and an overall
capacity of work-life integration.
When this little mysterious organ is not working properly, it’s blocked or calcified, the human beings struggles with an intense attachment to the material world, their lives are dominated by “to have” verb and they also experiment an exacerbated fear of death.
As people intoxicate their bodies with processed food and continue to harm the environment, the pineal gland calcifies further and we lose our spiritual connection and
Fig.50 Pineal gland functional/dysfunctional summary
our state of well-being and happiness. The pineal gland blockages are signalled by any cyst or calcification on its tissue level. A whole body of published research has been done – many of them claim that generally the calcification of the pineal occurs after the age of 12 or after puberty.
Still, such formations – cysts and calcifications – can occur at any age. The statistical figures of some studies look like this: these calcifications can occur in 3% of the cases in 1 year old children, 7.1% in 10 year old, and 33% in 18 year old.
Also, the studies highlight that just before the occurrence of these calcifications in the pineal gland,the phenomenon takes place in the energetic field.
Specifically, certain ideas “solidify” in our minds.
In other words, the mind gains the “ability” of “harden” ideas, opinions, and concepts – this is pure somatization. In this way, the more calcified becomes the pineal gland, the more blind we are getting to the vast number of possibilities,realities,and opportunitiesfortransformation that exist outside of our contracted, stiff vision. Due to this conglomeration of factors – poor diet, stress and modern life, exposure to toxins in the environment,
electromagnetic fields (EMF) released by mobile phones and other wireless devices, the pineal gland gets hardened, then calcified, and eventually completely shuts down.
It is already known that fluoride in the water has a harmful effect on the pineal gland. Fluoride, and other chemical substances like chlorine accumulate on tissues rich in calcium, such as the pineal gland, and determine calcification. These calcified mini-structures, also named “brain sand” or “corpora arenacea” – in academic language, are made up of calcium phosphate, calcium carbonate, magnesium phosphate, and ammonium phosphate.
In the case of solar storms – when a rapid increase in electromagnetic energy in the terrestrial atmosphere occurs, the pineal gland interacts with the solar electromagnetic energy, and the consequence is an excessive release of melatonin, which will generate either sleepiness or the opposite – hyperactivity.
The sudden ailments appeared as effect of the massive electromagnetic energy flow from the Sun are in the majority of cases short-lasting. They include palpitations, headaches, changes in mood, and a general state of discomfort.
When the body is affected, mind feels chaotic, the thinking is confuse and we have unforeseeable behaviors. Our emotions, both positive and negative are amplified when solar storms occur. Light and also invisible electromagnetic energy decrease the serotonin into melatonin.
The alteration in the production of melatonin caused by excess light seems to be similar to the one caused by electromagnetic field exposure.
If we consider that the harmful chemicals for the pineal gland come from our everyday activities, we may become aware that we must change our consumption choices and find alternative methods to counter the damaging effects.
Fluoride is found in most toothpastes and tap water. Vegetables and fruits found in all super-markets are loaded with pesticides, preservatives, and chemicals.
Nowadays, generally the pineal gland is the size of a small pea. But things were not the same in the past. Tradition says that Indian Masters of the Vedic times used to have a lemon-size pineal gland.
Dr. John Whitman Ray, author and founder of Body Electronics, the Science of Bodily Regeneration, winner of a Gold Medal for excellent contributions in the field of alternative medicine, showed through a diagram the correlation between the emotional tones and the endocrine system. In the case the pineal gland functions within normal parameters, one is receptive, sympathetic, aware, intuitive, imaginative, enthusiast, has a vision and superior goals.
When pineal gland blockages appear, the dominant mood of a person are rigidity, conservatism, and lack of enthusiasm. They have an obvious lack of creativity and intuition.
These cause the pineal gland to slow down, become lazy
and lose its vitality.
We should also know that calcium supplements are detrimental to our health and that it is it better to gain calcium through our diet and calcium rich foods, such as almonds, leafy green vegetables, beans and lentils, rhubarb, amaranth, and tahini.
The conclusion is that in order to de-calcify the pineal gland – in other words, to reverse the process of calcification, it is at the utmost importance to detox the body.
We are assaulted by an enormous range of chemicals from everywhere around – the water we drink, the air we breathe, and the food we eat. Modern life, with all its consequences on us, are the main causes of the pineal gland calcification.
Recent studies in the field draw attention that in most people the pineal gland activity is at its minimum potential – almost asleep.
Other factors that cause the calcification besides the ones mentioned above are: mercury from dental amalgams, from vaccines (thimerosal used as a conservation agent), from fish meat, and sea food (due to the polluted water that they live in), alcohol and smoking, artificial sweeteners (aspartame, sodium cyclamate etc.), refined sugar, all sorts of food additives, deodorants, visual pollution – television, artificial light, computer, certain chemical substances used in cleaning solutions or room spray deodorants.
What is more astonishing is that persistent negative emotions – such as fear, anger, low self-esteem, sadness, anxiety – affect the pineal gland in a negative way.
De-calcifying, stimulating, and feeding our pineal gland
The biggest consequence of the pineal gland not working properly is the blindness of people to the spiritual dimensions of life, a life without a higher purpose. Basically, the link with spirituality is cut-off – love, healing, and faith are perceived as abstract concepts, far- away from the daily life.
When the pineal gland functions normally and naturally produces its DMT, we are able to stay aware and have spiritual aspirations and goals. Calcification process can be a reversed though.
Those who wish to develop their multidimensional perceptions and to maintain a state of meaningful existence should begin the process of cleaning the pineal gland.
There some few basic things we can start with when we want to decalcify it. The daily use of coriander helps eliminating mercury from the brain. Also, mercury can be eliminated from the organism through the daily use of chlorella, green wheat grass, and spirulina.
Raw-vegan or organic food (which is predominantly raw-vegan) has the property to detoxify our pineal gland. Black raw chocolate is a stimulant and a cleanser of the pineal gland, besides its antioxidant effects.
pineal gland and ensure a healthy functioning of the organ.Some of these are: brahmi (Bacopa monnieri), wood betony (Betonica officinalis or Stachys officinalis), gotu kola (Centella asiaica), jatamansi (Nardostachys jatamansi, nard), shankapushpi (Convolvulus pluricaulis), gingko biloba, vacha (Acorus calamus), ashwagadha (Witania somnifera), santal and santal essential oil, alfalfa sprout, wheat sprout, parsley, cantaloupe, pineapple juice, olive oil, lecithin, incense, noni juice or extract, rose essential oil, lavender.
The oxygenation of the pineal gland which happens when the blood flow increases in this area has many benefits on the entire organism: it improves the quality of sleep, it ensures inner balance, it eliminates the chronic fatigue syndrome, it boosts the immune system, it generates an overall positive attitude and predisposition to experience spiritual states.
Food is also a good adjutant, as there are specific plants, fruits, vegetables and seeds rich in melatonin, that can support the function if the pineal gland. Among these: art cherries, corn, asparagus, tomatoes, pomegranate, olives, grapes, broccoli, cucumber, green wheat grass, green barley grass, walnuts, peanuts, sunflower seeds, mustard seeds, flaxseed, dried dates. The fescue (Festuca arundinacea – botanical name) is considered by many authors to have the highest content of melatonin out of all plants.
Mindfulness and deep yogic meditation, smart eroticism
Everything that can be considered pure food – seeds (flax seeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds), bio fruits and vegetables, grean wheat grass, spirulina and chlorella and medicinal plants – support the normal functioning of the pineal gland.
More specifically, there are some certain plants and remedies mentioned by many authors that energize the
practiced in your couple relationship, the consumption of organic adequate foods, good rest, staying positive and envisioning a bright future, contact with nature, plants and remedies that support and energize the pineal gland
– all these are key elements able to improve the function of this multi-functional gland. Energy circulates through the human body – science confirms what we already knew.
Inner energy is the expression of vitality, of the life force that animates our beings. Everything we do – from thought to actions require consumption of inner energy.
The concept is not new and is used in common language for centuries. In India, inner energy is called “prana”, in China is described as “qi” and in Western societies is referred to as “vitality” or “inner energy”, or even “spirit”. There are 98 different names for inner energy in 98 different cultures.
Nowadays science not only denies the reality of energy fields, but confirms that human beings are energy fields embedded into bigger energy fields. Our bodies are electromagnetic in nature and we now know to measure these frequencies with advanced machines, like EKG’s and MRI scanning.
100 years ago this would have been considered mystical or SF stuff. All the living organisms come to this world with a certain dose of vitalism. As human beings, we can choose to cultivate and raise this potential in order to achieve our objectives and goals.
Besides anything, in order to achieve his/her strategic goals, a leader needs to have inner energy. Low inner energy and depletion drives to failure, fatigue and lack of creativity. There are specific points on the human body map linked to vitality, revealed by acupuncture.
By inserting needles through a person’s skin at these specific points on the body, to various depths, some people claim it works by balancing vital energy. Research suggests that it can help relieve pain and it is used for a wide range of other complaints.
Moreover, research says that these energy pathways and points conduct electricity even when needles aren’t used.
The massage technique of Shiatsu have been found to stimulate the same energetic effects. Postures of hatha- yoga, qigonq, and Tai Chi have also been found to increase electrical conductance at acupoints, yet science never believed in the existence of meridians until recently. Meridians are the striking evidence that human body is an energy field wrapped in other energy fields.
Scientists at Seoul National University confirmed in 2017 the existence of meridians, and they named the meridians network the “primo-vascular system”. In fact, in 1950, a Japanese doctor named Yoshio Nakatani had discovered these lines, which actually overlap with the meridians of classic acupuncture.
Previously, Dr Kim Bong-Han, North Korean medical surgeon Kim Bong-Han at Pyongyang Medical University and Kyung-Rak institute (KRI) showed over 50 years ago that new tubular structures exist inside and outside of blood vessels and lymphatic vessels, as well as on the surface of internal organs and under the dermis. He believed they were the traditional meridian lines. These meridians were called Bonghan ducts or channels, after his research.
Now, the existence of this system of tubular structures in various organs has been corroborated by further research. The current Korean researchers now believe the "prim vascular" system is in fact the physical component of the Acupuncture Meridian System. They launched the hypothesis that this system is involved in channelling the flow of energy and information relayed by biophotons (electromagnetic waves of light) and DNA.
In the past, scientists used a combination of imaging techniques and CT scans to observe concentrated points of micro-vascular structures that clearly correspond to the map of acupuncture points created by the Chinese energy
practitioners in ancient times. Latest discoveries prove that the meridian lines are not confined to the skin, but are in fact a concrete duct system through which liquid flows, and that this liquid aggregate to form stem cells. A study published in the Journal of Electron Spectroscopy and Related Phenomena, revealed clear distinctions between the non-acupuncture point and acupuncture point anatomical structures.
The researchers used contrast CT imaging with radiation on both non-acupuncture points and acupuncture points. If we take a look at traditional Indian medicine, we also found the concept of meridians – they are even extended upon. They talk about nadis found within the physical body and these nadis make up the nervous system, the circulatory system, the digestive system, the respiratory system, the lymphatic system, etc.
Any blockages in these nadis can result in ailments and
diseases.
on these subtle energy channels through the power of directed attention and mental concentration, supporting the flow of energy through the body. A former CEO of public company WebMD and a best-selling author, Michael Singer, who founded a meditation center, thinks that anyone who watches carefully can perceive “the phenomenal amount of energy” inside them.
This is an energy that doesn’t come from sleeping well or feeding ourselves healthy. It is the energy of life that is always available to us.
At a closer look, we would all agree that the base for all the other things in life is our inner energy. One who is always tired, who lacks vitality and enthusiasm to do things has no joy or even desire for living. On the contrary, being inspired and filled with energy and enthusiasm can transform life into a beautiful and exciting journey.
Konstantin Korotkov is a Russian scientist and a pioneer of electro-graphic photography which he claims can
project the life force and bio-energies of human beings.
In the same time, nadis can be found in the subtle body where they carry thoughts, feelings, and nerve impulses. When these nadis are not completely functional (have blockages or impurities), we lose our ability to feel, and connect deeply with others, the environment and ourselves. Nadis network is supposed to have a similar structure with veins and arteries. They are supposed to connect the human being with other unseen dimensions of existence weave through our physical nerves and support our physical body
When the flow of energy is blocked or hindered, the human being has low energy and can get sick. Unlike most common sports, where the body is trained while the mind wanders, practices like yoga and meditation work
In one of his experiments, Korotkov photographed the blue life force of a person on the cusp of death slowly ebbing away from the body (using the gas discharge visualisation method).
This has been characterised by many as the evidence science asked for centuries of the soul leaving the body. Korotkov also conducted experiments using this method on living people. He detected in this way what others referred to as Kirlian aura, the electro-photon light that can be viewed around the tips of people’s fingers.
He concluded that these illuminations can provide information about a person’s physically and psychologically state on a moment of time. He also thought there is a lot of truth in the idea that people can influence their bio-
energies to each other. He mentioned about the fact that many people simply feel when they are being watched. This happens, according to Korotkov, because a person’s bioenergy field changes when someone is giving them attention even if they are not consciously aware of the person watching them. Can we run out of inner energy?
Sublimation is the third step in the 4 steps canvas of erotic continence. After perfect control of the erotic energy and transmutation (the process that transforms provides a net gain energy), the amount of resulted energy has to be circulated and consciously directed on the higher levels of the being.
We certainly can. We our vital energy drops to 0, we are
in danger of death.
When conducted to the brain, this waves of energy
activate the pineal gland and rewires the brain, creating
The burnout syndrome is the medical name for acute
lack of inner energy.
Lately, people who feel burnout are finally fully recognized as having a severe issue. Burnout is a serious threatening for a company’s culture and productivity, as it is considered to be an “occupational phenomenon” affecting health.
When someone is extremely stressed, works continuously, and ignores the alarm signals thebody is sending (sleepiness or insomnia, dizziness, headaches, fainting, constant weight loss, forgetfulness/impaired concentration and attention, depression, anger, irritability), he/she is on the edge of burnout.
Unfortunately, too many ignore the warning signs. Stress is one of the biggest inner energy eaters and is more often than we think a silent killer – as stress is in top 5 causes of death worldwide. The symptoms of burnout result from chronic workplace stress that has not been addressed and managed properly.
When we feel tired and devitalized, we have to review which are the inner energy generators and take action to refuel our reservoir.
How the sublimation of the erotic energy activates the pineal gland
new neuronal networks.
How is that? A study done by Simon Baconnier & team at Ben-Gurion University of the Negev, Israel, in 2004, reveals that as many as 300 calcite micro-crystals can exist within the pineal gland, similar to those of the inner earcalled otonica crystals, which are piezoelectric in nature.
Piezoelectric crystals are able to transduce sound- waves into electromagnetic impulses. They also possess the ability to tune in radio frequencies. Some possess the capability to piezo-luminiscence as well, converting pressure waves to life. The study shows that these crystals are probably responsible for second harmonic generation in pineal tissues and possible piezoelectricity.
But how sublimation works? First step of sublimation is the process of circulating the energy from the lower levels to the upper levels of the human body for non- erotic purposes. This process can be done through several specific techniques, concentration, and body-postures.
Remember that where focus goes, energy flows.
Considering that the brain remains neuroplastic for life, self-directed neuroplasticity is a concept expressing the
possibility to consciously and deliberately control how we want our brains to work and what we want it to focus on.
Explicitly, if we want our brain to become more empathetic in conflictual situations, we’d “force” ourselves to become more empathetic in these situations and our brain eventually adapts.
Similarly, every time we learn a new skill, (e.g. how to control your erotic energy and impulses), our brain functioning changes and adapts to whatever we put in front of it.
Consistency – understand that with consistency, your brain will be forced to adapt to the new neural patterns that you present it with;
Volition – realize that in the beginning, attempting tochange your brain is going to be uncomfortable, as there are strong neuronal networks created by the old mental programs. Each person is set in their ways and the neuroplasticity is not meant to be comfortable, it’s meant to be effective;
Brain changes – with consistent focused effort (or mental
force), you can change the way your brain works.
Our behaviors, environment, social group, sleep cycle, sup- plements, drugs, workout, hobbies, ways spending free time, etc. all have an influence on how our brain is functioning.
Being aware of the influencing behaviors, practices, and attitudes on our brain allows us to consciously change the ones that may be causing harm and replace them with superior and beneficial ones.
For example, you can deliberately choose to work on activating you pineal gland instead of wasting time in front of the TV. Steps one may want to consider to help them harness the power of self-directed brain change for inner growth and development include:
Awareness – become aware of what you’d like to change. Most probably, once you start to become aware, you will discover many behaviors and patterns you dislike and make you unhappy, unproductive or unhealthy.
– attention – instead of letting your attention drift to something else, focus all of your attention on implementing a healthy thought pattern and behavior
(like activating your pineal gland or practicing erotic continence);
Over the time, the new neuronal networks become more and more stronger as we continue to repeat the healthy behavior. The more we repeat it, the easier becomes to maintain it.
Monks who practice mindfulness or forms of meditation involving compassion tend to rarely experience depression – their brains become so “wired” to feel positive emotions after years of practice.
Similarly someone who constantly thinks depressive thoughts is further enhancing the neural pathways for depression. The second step of sublimation is the emotional process, meaning the capacity to transform, to alchemy the negative emotions to positive, productive, and elevate emotions and behaviors.
Anger is one of the most ravaging human emotions. When we feel overwhelmed with anger, this triggers the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response. Our physical parameters are out of whack. Allowing the anger to explode is one way of dealing with it. But undoubtedly is not a very smart management of it, as we might find ourselves with damaged relationships and a quarrel some reputation.
Instead of flying off in a fit of rage, we can consciously and completely aware redirect the negative emotion’s energy into some type of intellectual activity, such as writing a report, or just cleaning up the mess on the desk. Fueled like that, it is very possible to spend only a few hours for something we’ve been postponing for days.
Once the energy sublimates, the frustration subsides and you are eventually left with a positive result and a
better state.
The idea that the brain can change its own structure and function through state, thought and activity is an important insight for our modern time. Like all discoveries, this one will have profound effects, in the years to come
The process of self-directed neuroplasticity has implications for, among other things, our understanding of how love, intimacy,connect,relationships,learning,culture,technology, and psychotherapies change for the better our brains.
We believe that all of the humanities, social sciences, and
physical sciences, insofar as they deal with human nature,
An interesting study on the topic of sublimation was published in 2013 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Researchers wanted to see if whether Protestants were more likely to sublimate taboo feelings into creative endeavours.
They discovered that individuals who experienced sexual problems related to anxieties over taboo desires were more likely to also have greater creative accomplishments than those who reported no sexual problems or those with sexual problems unrelated to taboo feelings. They emphasized that this study is "possibly the first experimental evidence for sublimation and suggest a cultural psychological approach to defence mechanisms."
Historically, the sublimation process was first mentioned in The Emerald Tablet, aka Smaragdine Table, or Tabula Smaragdina, which is an ancient fundamental text that is said to contain the secret of the prima materia and its transmutation, the 7th sutra:
"Separate thou the earth from the fire, the subtle from
the gross sweetly with great industry.”
are affected, as are all forms of development. All of these disciplines will have to adjust with the fact of the self- directed neuroplasticity and with the realization that the design of the brain differs from one person to the next, it changes in the course of our individual lives and even more an individual can consciously alter it.
In conclusion, as we heal our bodies and make healthy choices that support activating,revitalizing,and de-calcifying our pineal glands, we allow ourselves to live richer and more vibrant lives, and to get closer to our full potential.
Beyond just health of the body and mind, an activated pineal gland can also assist us in other pursuits and practices. With renewed vision and a broaden horizon, we can rise to be like the saying goes – spiritual beings having a human experience.
KEY INSIGHT
ACTIVATE PINEAL GLAND. FOR HIGH CREATIVITY
Article written after a session with a couple in Geneva,
Switzerland, Dec 2018
A DISCIPLINE FOR DECISION-MAKING DEVELOPMENT
Emotion and decision making go hand in hand
“What provokes your behavior will further your leadership capacity.”
Jack Denfeld Wood Professor Emeritus Leadership IMD Lausanne
“Closed-minded leaders are threatened by evidence that challenges their beliefs. Open-minded leaders are receptive to new evidence. Curious leaders take the initiative to gather new evidence.”
Adam Grant, PhD, Originals
Decision-making is in the locus of your control. You have the power to break patterns of behavior simply by making better decisions. You can change your mind and your actions at any time. Even when you're stuck in a cycle of rut-like thinking and behavior, a change of attitude and decision-making can turn your life around.
Honing strong decision-making skills is an absolute must for business leaders. After all, a wrong move can adversely affect not only the organization, your team, and your career but also your happiness, meaning, and purpose.
Yet oddly, few leaders receive formal training in the subject. Instead, they typically learn through trial and error. While certainly effective, this method is less than ideal for obvious reasons.
In 2014, researchers Sarah Rudorf and Todd Hare of the Department of Economics of the University of Zurich discovered that the prefrontal cortex not only shows increased activity during decisions requiring self-control, but during all decision-making processes. They were able
to identify specific regions of the prefrontal cortex that are most active in the process of making a decision.
Decisions that require self-control are extremely important, as they directly affect a person's bodily, social, or financial welfare. The determination of the mechanisms in the brain that are not only involved in decisions requiring self- control but that are also used in general decisions could open new points of interaction for therapies.
The findings of this research could help develop interventions that support certain decision-making skills in special situations that depend on self-control, such as, smart eroticism (meditation in erotic intimacy).
Emotions and Decision Making
The research reveals that emotions constitute powerful, pervasive, and predictable drivers of decision making. Across different domains, important regularities appear in the mechanisms through which emotions influence judgments and choices.
There are consistent effects, showing the importance of affect in shaping a wide variety of organizational behaviors, the knowledge of which is critical for researchers,managers, and employees. The influence of emotions on decision making is an area of active debate focused on whether positive or negative affect leads to better outcomes.
In recent years, the field has grown rapidly; yearly scholarly papers on emotion and decision making doubled from 2004 to 2007 and again from 2007 to 2011, and increased by an order of magnitude as a percentage of all scholarly publications on “decision making” (already a quickly
growing field) from 2001 to 2013. Relevant research in psychology field suggest that emotions are the critical and dominant driver of most meaningful decisions in life (e.g., Ekman 2007, Frijda 1988, Gilbert 2006, Keltner & Lerner 2010, Keltner et al 2014, Lazarus 1991, Loewenstein et al 2001, Scherer & Ekman 1984).
Decisions constitutes as the conduit through which emotions guide everyday choices at avoiding negative emotions (e.g., guilt, fear, regret) and increasing positive emotions (e.g., enthusiasm, happiness, love), even when we lack awareness of these processes (Keltner & Lerner 2010, Loewenstein & Lerner 2003).
Alice Isen and her colleagues, in a voluminous research stream, have shown that positive mood inductions lead to better, more efficient decision making, including decision making requiring more careful, systematic, and thorough processing (see Isen, 2001; Isen & Labroo, 2003 for reviews).
For example, in one study in a hospital setting, Estrada, Isen, and Young (1997) induced positive emotions in practicing physicians by providing a small gift of candy. The physicians then had to read a description of a patient and think aloud (which was recorded and rated by outside coders) as they tried to determine the correct diagnosis.
It was found that while the positive emotions-induced doctors considered as many diagnoses as doctors who did not undergo the positive emotions induction (received no candy), the positive emotions-induced doctors came to the correct solution significantly earlier than control participants, and were less likely to incorrectly anchor on an incorrect hypothesis.
This study suggests that positive emotions can facilitate the thorough, efficient, and flexible use of new information, which increases decision effectiveness. However, studies
have also found that negative emotions can lead to more effective decision making. One set of studies shows that in a contextual situation (e.g.change process) negative emotions can lead to more concentrated, detailed, and analytic processing (Matthew Hunsinger, Linda M. Isbell, and Gerald L. Clore 2014 for a review).
A set of studies in the clinical literature shows a “depressive realism effect” in which people who are depressed have more accurate judgments than nondepressed people (Alloy & Abramson, 1988). Finally, the “mood-as-input” model (Martin, Ward, Achee, & Wyer, 1993) predicts that negative emotions will lead to more effortful processing. The rationale for this is that people use their emotions as
Fig xx. Emotions powerfully, predictably, and pervasively influence decision making.
indications of the state of their environment.Thus, negative moods serve as a signal to people that something is wrong, so that active cognitive processing will continue as people try to solve the problem, whereas positive emotions signals that all is well and people should not continue to analyse.
Addressing this debate within the organizational domain, Staw and Barsade (1993) directly tackled the question of whether positive versus negative affect contributes to effective decision making.
In a managerial simulation with MBA students, they offered competing hypotheses as to whether high versus low trait positive emotion participants would do better in decision making on a managerial simulation scored by outside evaluators.
They found a salutary influence of positive emotions on a multitude of detailed, effortful decision-making tasks, including: greater decision-making accuracy; greater amount of additional information requested before making decisions; greater use of quantitative indices in the decision making, and greater recognition of situational contingencies.
They thus concluded that positive emotions led to better decision making than negative emotions. Positive emotions have also been linked to deeper analytic processing and efficiency in decision making.
In a study of graduating university students seeking employment, those with higher trait positive affect had more clarity about their job search (integrating information more deeply and efficiently), which then led them to look for a job more intensely and ultimately led to more interviews and job offers (while trait negative affectivity was not found to be associated with job search clarity; Cote, Saks, & Zikic, 2006). A meta-analysis showed
that the preponderance of evidence indicates that positive emotions are better for myriad facets of decision making.
Positive emotion allows people to better process at a level most appropriate to the situation at hand. Thus, when quick answers are needed, people in positive moods can respond with an appropriate decision-making strategy; if the task requires deeper, more analytic processing, people who are in a good mood recognize this necessity and can do so as well (Isen,2004).
For those looking to enhance their decision-making abilities, there’s one surprisingly simple technique that can make a world of difference, and that is erotic continence. A series of studies led by Andrew Hafenbrack found that meditation helped counteract deep-rooted tendencies and lead to better decision-making. The researchers found that a brief period of meditation allowed people to make more rational decisions by considering the information available in the present moment, which led to more positive outcomes in the future.
Smart eroticism is meditation in intimacy.
The erotic continence’s advantage
It may sound like some kind of “out there” concept more appropriate for the yoga studio than the business world, but in truth, erotic continence has real-wold applications..
In terms of decision-making tools, the evidence is mounting to show that it can have a powerful, positive impact on the process, leading to both better decisions and faster implementation. This is why some business schools started to evaluate how to incorporate erotic continence training into their executive development programmes.
Meditation and erotic continence are practiced by senior
leaders in corporations worldwide (at Apple, Google, Nike, General Mills, Proctor & Gamble, Sony Pictures, and more), and the trend is only expected to continue. Leaders who want to remain at the forefront of progressive ideas are wise to consider the value of erotic continence as an inner development tool.
Erotic continence facilitates the decision making process
So, what makes erotic continence such an important tool for business decision-making? Simply put, it’s all about self-awareness and self-control. Emotions constitute powerful and predictable drivers of decision making. Across different types of decisions, regular habits appear as the underlying mechanisms through which emotions influence judgment and choice. Thus, emotion effects are neither random nor secondary. Remaining self-aware and in-control during private intimate experiences in your loving couple relationship means that you’re present – conscious of your thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and the surrounding environment .
The practice of self-control and self-awareness impacts the decision-making process which gradually becomes a thoughtful, cognitive exercise, rather than an impulsive reaction to immediate needs. As is the case with mindfulness this kind of heightened awareness allows for:
Early identification of decisions that need to be made
More creative problem-solving power
More thorough ethical evaluation
Improved ability to recognize the limits of knowledge, experiences, and contexts
Improved ability to identify trade-offs and unintended consequences of potential decisions
Mastering erotic continence
Meditation is now considered the primary strategy for building mindfulness. Same as meditation, erotic continence creates space in one’s mind and open the heart letting one choose.
“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Victor Frankl.
The practice is less complicated than some people think. In fact, we suggest to make it part of your life, and you can start by practicing some “easy to do” exercises before you engage in a private intimate experience with your spouse.
Strange as it may sound, incorporating this habit into day-to-day intimate life may also have a positive impact on the bottom line. From better decisions to greater emotional intelligence, increased vitality and higher morale, this simple tool can dramatically improve the overall work experience for every practitioner at all levels in his/her personal or professional lives. Like anything, it requires practice because as the adage goes the master is done only by the practice.
An open mind and an intelligent heart is a powerful combination capability, and in today’s VUCA world, it’s a must-have for a leader who needs space, energy, and power to really fully process the information. Mastering intimacy train leaders to reflect more deeply on important decisions and make better, and smarter choices.
KEY INSIGHT
A STRONG DECISION MAKER IS ONE THAT IS ABLE TO
CONTROL ITS IMPULSES.
Written in Geneva, Dec 2018
A PRACTICAL TECHNIQUE – CONCENTRATION
Grow your power to concentrate.
Many of us have observed that when we want to concentrate on a single object, thing, or phenomenon our mind drift away, running one thought after the other then jumping from one place to the other, most of the time in a continuous agitation. An adequate mental training could easily solve this problem.
Concentration is a form of disciplined attention implying a contraction which does not allow irrelevant stimulus intervention that usually distract.
Our entire conscience becomes directed towards a single aspect, in other words becomes focused.
Concentration benefits in daily life are evident
If we concentrate on our actions, we are able to execute them more efficient and memorize associated details. Most of the problems are caused first because we do not manifest proper attention at the moment of action.
When we practice mental concentration, our mind becomes clearer and insightful, regardless of what we do at the moment. Thus we provide the needed space for turning back inside and explore what we find there.
The mental power is limitless. The more concentrated the mind is, the more powerful it becomes. With proper training, anyone can achieve it.
Staying perfectly focused implies to concentrate our whole potential of attention on the chosen object, a certain period of time, without allowing any tension or mental strain to appear.
This process is analogous to the phenomenon of solar light concentration through a lens: the power of the solar rays aggregated in one outbreak spikes in comparison with the
power of the dispersed solar rays. If still the light is perfectly concentrated, but the duration of the process is little, the results are poor or even null.
The light concentration has to be maintained constant for a certain period of time, so that the effects become discernible (for example, lighting a piece of wood).
Breathing- the simplest object for concentration
For an easy control, the mind needs to have something
to focus on.
Anytime when our attention is distorted because of mind wandering, tiredness or boredom, she needs to be brought back with gentleness.
For being easy to control, the mind needs an object to focus on. Every time our attention is distracted by unbidden thoughts, tiredness or boredom, she must be gently, but firmly brought back, to the object of concentration.
In practice, this object can be anything ; nevertheless, in the initial stages of concentration, it is recommended to be something simple and/or rhythmic.
An object like this is breathing. Breathing, whether is simple or rhythmic, is a permanent in and out, lifting and lowering, ebb and flow. In addition, due to the fact that breathing is always accompanying us, it does not have personal specific associations.
Breathing is the background of life, vital for our existence. Still, we take it so much for granted that is not given due weight.
Exercise: Focus on your breathing
Seat yourself on a straight-backed chair in a quiet place. Keep your spine aligned, put your arms on your thighs, and your footprints on the soil. Focus your attention on your breath, maintain it like that, and refuse to let you be swept up by exterior thoughts or events.
You feel the inhales air, seize the short pause between inhale and exhale. You then feel the exhaled air and again you seize a small pause – this time between exhale and inhale. Do not interfere with the natural pace of breathing by shortening or lengthening any of the stages. Instead, just let the breathing to naturally unfold, becoming calmer as your body and mind is relaxing in meditation.
If you are a beginner, have small sessions of 5-10 minutes. Try to practice daily at the same hour. After some weeks, extend to 15-20 minutes. However, you should never force yourself. To be able to focus doesn’t mean to determined grind your teeth. It means to stay quiet with yourself and, even though it implies a certain level of discipline, this is more about flexibility than rigidity.
Watch out: inevitably, until you will reach a master level, you will be assaulted by thoughts and emotions, which you should just let them pass through consciousness and beyond consciousness, like clouds reflected in the water.
However, if you feel distracted, bring your mind back gently, but firmly, to your breathing. Avoid to convince yourself that you’ll never be able to meditate. Your wandering mind simply proves how much you need to concentrate, to quell it’s scattering stir.
The mind is like a monkey
The more you want to forcefully quiet the mind, the more she will refuse to conform and will jump from side to side. Mental concentration can be described as « to not take action
». ZEN practitioners simply name it « to just sit ». (ZAZEN)
Through mental concentration, the mind focuses on an unique target without being able to jump from a subject to another for a fixed period of time.
The opposite of concentration is dispersion and scattering. In this case, uncontrolled mind suddenly bypasses from an object to another, being unable to fixate on something. Unfortunately, this is nowadays the usual mental condition of most of the people. When the mind perceives an outside object, it takes the form of that object.
The human mind permanently receives information from the outside world through the 5 gates of senses : smell, taste, vision, touch, and hearing. From all the information received by the senses, the mind has the capacity to only select those of a certain importance in a certain moment of time.
This selection is realized through focusing on a particular information, ignoring all the other one of less importance.
The more the attention is concentrated on only one sense, the more the quantity of information the sense receives is growing ; the volume of information received by the other senses diminishes to the point they can be even ignored by the mind.
Let the things to flow forward as they may. Here, the knowledge comes from the object towards the subject.
Being concentrated means to be in a state of hyper-vigilent waiting, like the cat who watches out a mouse den, waiting for him to come out : the unexpected can happen in any moment.
KEY
”Know thyself.”
Socrate
Successful leaders can be identified by the levels of self-awareness,
LEARNING POINTS
”You are what you repeatedly do.
Excellence is not an event
– IT IS A HABIT.”
Aristotle
“When you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meager and unsatisfactory kind; it may be the beginning of knowledge, but you have scarcely in your thoughts advanced to the stage of science, whatever the matter may be.”
Lord Kelvin
Leadership is about relationships and the best training you can have it is in your couple relationship.
If a leader chooses a path without incorporating
THE PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION ABILITY
on an ongoing basis, this implies putting themselves at risk.
No one can doubt that learning and then applying a practice that has a double impact – on both personal and professional life is a smart choice to make.
inner energy, and curiosity.
How your leadership reacts to change will trickle down and impact an entire organization by large.
Simply hiring the smartest people isn’t enough, because smartness is measured in terms of rational intelligence.
Erotic frustration is a big problem in corporations and is still a big taboo (not discussed).
Napoleon Hill:
“Erotic energy is the most powerful energy in human
beings. The emotions of the amorous game have the constructive potentiality to transform mediocrity into genius”.
Workers with an active erotic life reported higher levels of engagement and satisfaction than those with strained relationships at home.
If a good night sleep can have such a high impact on effective leadership, can you imagine what
the benefits of Superior Intimacy are – which, in other words, means hours of intense positive emotions?
Cutting-edge research says that improving your erotic intimacy in your couple relationship is the fastest way to bend your
personality, change bad habits, and build new behaviors.
In essence, behind theories, experiences, and learnings, leadership can be seen as inner energy to achieve high performance
with and through others.
You can become an effective leader if you apply
THE ADEQUATE METHODS
and you are persevering. Everyone can take on a leadership role, given the right motivation and context, regardless of the formal job description.
Listening well to others, taking the initiative to act and being smart about how to access your free source of inner energy are key steps to effective leadership.
A significant body of leadership literature suggests that the better you understand yourself, the better you become able to lead others.
THE BEST ALLOCATION OF RESOURCES TO DEVELOP LEADERS WITHIN AN ORGANIZATION WILL TAKE INTO ACCOUNT POTENTIAL
(the “born-with” components) AND SKILL BUILDING (THE
“made up” components).
Erotic activity and happiness are interconnected – a study done by Daniel Kahneman claims. Erotic activity produces the biggest amount of happiness. Better qualitative erotic experiences increase happiness levels, while unwanted Eros lowers happiness level.
WOMEN NEED TWICE AS MUCH LOVE AND AFFECTION TO ACHIEVE SIMILAR LEVELS OF HAPPINESS AS MEN.
In a meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, Sonja Lyubomirsky and all found strong evidence of directional causality between life satisfaction and successful business outcomes.
Individuals with no erotic partners
in the past 12 months had the lowest levels of happiness.
Training your brain to be positive is not so different from training your muscles at the gym.
Leaders who want to remain at the forefront of progressive ideas are wise to consider the value
of erotic continence as an inner development tool.
Meditation and erotic continence are being practiced by senior leaders in corporations worldwide.
The practice creates space in one’s mind and heart for him/her to choose. It reduces stress, improves mental clarity, focus and enhances the state of well-being.
Mastering THIS PRACTICE allows leaders to reflect more deeply on important decisions and make better, smarter choices.
PRACTICE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY MODEL
ASPIRATION TO LEARN SUPERIOR SENSIBILITY HARMONY
ELEVATION INTUITION BRILLIANCY BEAUTY PURITY
PRACTICE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY MODEL
POWER FOR SYNTHESIS POWER FOR ANALYSIS MENTAL LUCIDITY FAST LEARNING MENTAL FOCUS SUPERIOR WILL INTELLIGENCE ATTENTION
MEMORY
Fig. 51 Sublimation is a powerful influence on behavior, although one of which we are largely unaware.
Directing inner energy in different areas is associated with specific traits development.
PART FOUR
Superior Intimacy: What’s in it for a leader?
‘In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won were over themselves….. self-discipline with all of them came first.’ – Harry S.Truman
NSPIRE
LEADERSHIP VITALITY SHOULD BE A TOP PRIORITY
Today’s businesses don’t win on strategy – They win on vitality
”If not discharged, semen is disintegrated and reabsorbed by the body.“
Trevor Weston, PhD Atlas of Anatomy,
”When vitality is present, people report thoroughly understanding strategy and priorities and personally choose to support success. They report a personal relationship to organizational values and adopt them as their own…Vital organizations reliably achieve more with less time, money and stress.“
Mickey Connoly, Jim Motroni, Richard McDonald –The Vitality Imperative
Everyone gets tired sometimes, and often bounces back after a quick rest or a good night's sleep. However, if bouts of fatigue occur more often and last longer, you shouldn't ignore them. Have you ever had one of those days where you are so weary, you can't seem to do anything except sleep?
"Older adults may think fatigue is due to aging, but there is no reason you should battle ongoing tiredness," says Dr. Suzanne Salamon, a Geriatric Physician in a Harvard- affiliated Medical Center63.
Here are some signs that you should take your tiredness seriously:
inability to do activities you enjoy | inability to connect to your loved one | waking up exhausted, even after a good night’s sleep; not feeling motivated to begin the day
sudden bouts of exhaustion that go away and then return loss of vitality that brings sleepiness during the day
shortness of breath
Fatigue affects your health and leadership effectiveness
in many ways.
You may have low vitality to exercise. You may have trouble concentrating, staying alert, and remembering things. You may anger easily and become more socially isolated.
"The level of well-being of employees ought to be measured systematically and put on a page on one of the annual shareholders report. It would send a strong signal about how a company is doing, and how it will be doing in the future." says Dr. Salamon.
Having a vitality check
Fatigue could also signal a psychosomatic challenge, according to scientists, and you should work on your vitality if you have any of the following issues:
Anemia. This occurs when your blood has too few red blood cells or those cells have too little haemoglobin, a protein that transports oxygen through the bloodstream. The result is a drop in energy levels.
Heart disease. Heart disease can cause the heart to pump blood less efficiently and lead to the accumulation of fluid in the lungs. This can cause shortness of breath and reduce the oxygen supply to the heart and lungs, making you tired.
Sleep problems. Sleep apnoea is characterized by pauses in your breathing, often lasting several seconds, or shallow breathing while you sleep. It is common among adults and those who are overweight. Another sleep-related issue is an over-active bladder, which forces repeated night-time
bathroom trips. Either of these can disturb your sleep enough to leave you feeling tired during the day.
Medication. Certain medications will make you feel tired, such as blood pressure drugs, statins, antidepressants, antihistamines, non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, and cold medications.
Low-grade depression or anxiety. Mental health issues often drain energy levels. You may suffer from depression or anxiety and not even know it.
Myalgic encephalomyelitis/chronic fatigue syndrome (ME/CFS). This is a complex disorder that causes unexplained extreme fatigue, which can worsen after physical or mental activity and does not improve with rest. Its cause is unknown by modern science but may be linked to one or more underlying issues.
Here are some simple, accessible and effective ways to boost inner energy levels. For regular, everyday vitality, take a disciplined effort with these energy-boosting behavioral strategies:
Daily intake of natural medicinal plants. Plants are foods, as a famous German scientist once said.
Few grams of properly selected medicinal plants can jump-start your day. No secondary effects occur while it offers a mental and physical lift, especially if you have trouble with morning vitality.
Vitamin B5 plays a key role in your body’s production of adrenal hormones. For adrenal fatigue due to stress, the recommended dose is 250 mg twice daily.
You can also get vitamin B5 from foods, including whole grains, legumes, broccoli, cauliflower, salmon, sweet potatoes, and tomatoes.
3.Vitamin C. When you experience acute or chronic stress, you can lose a lot of vitamin C through your urine and may experience stress-induced adrenal fatigue.
Vitamin C is important in your body’s production of adrenal hormones. If you have low adrenal function and you are under a lot of stress, take a minimum of 1,000 mg of vitamin C daily.
High-fiber, low glycemic foods. Vegetables, the number one energy-boosting food, should make the base of your diet. Because vegetables are high in fibre, they prevent you from feeling hungry too soon after a meal.
And because they're low on the glycemic index – a measurement of how quickly a food converts into sugar in your body – vegetables prevent extreme highs and lows in blood sugar so you have more energy, improved mental function, and a heightened sense of well-being. Fruits are great too but try not to eat too many high-sugar varieties, such as watermelon, cantaloupe, and mangoes
Daily practice of body postures for 45 minutes. Daily practice of adequate body postures coupled with the right attention focus throughout the posture execution and consistent awareness after are proven practical techniques to build, develop, and sustain your vitality.
Practice "being in the flow". This means to become conscious of your present thinking patterns and choices and how they may be affecting your health.
“Being in the flow” every day means setting aside quiet time to clear your mind of all the accumulated debris and clutter from technology, media, to-do lists, and negative thoughts. It also means to direct your mind to experience positive thinking and positive open attitude to the future. Doing this once a day replenishes energy and fights burnout.
3 times a week practice of smart eroticism. What happens in your couple's intimacy affects everything – your mood, your choices, your personality, your vitality, your leadership effectiveness, etc.
A millennia practice that is now studied by modern science. Getting your erotic life up and running is essential for vital energy grow.
What's more, it creates a virtuous cycle – the healthier you are, the more energetic you feel, the stronger your libido gets.The stronger your libido is, the more enjoyment you'll perceive during intimate experiences. This will recharge your battery by bringing new and valuable energy into your inner ecosystem. Will that impact your leadership effectiveness?
KEY INSIGHT
SMART EROTICISM IS THE CAUSE. IT CAN REINVENT
YOUR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.
"Without vitality a leader will not deliver, not achieve, and not accelerate his/her career progress." commented a senior executive from a large FMCG company, after participating
at our seminar, London, 2016
F
Typical Erotic Strategy Approach
E
Superior Intimacy Model- Erotic Strategy Approach
Fig. 52 The difference is clear and is valid for both men and women.
DEVELOPING SELF – CONTROL
Erotic Continence is a simultaneous practice of self-awareness and self-control
”Dig inside. Inside is the fountain of good and it will forever flow if you will forever dig.“
Marcus Aurelius
”He who reigns within himself, and rules passions, desires, and fears, is more than a king.“
John Milton, poet
Do you have self – control?
Emotional self-control is our ability to keep disruptive
and they are low on energy. Scholars have estimated that the cost for companies in the US for such a negative and abusive behavior stands at $23.8 B annually65.
Use of self-control for the attainment of self-concordant goals results in higher levels of well-being and personal development which results in higher levels of concordance and self-control ability.
Self-control is no longer depleting when it is aligned with
one's autonomous motivation.
emotions and impulses in check and maintain control over
our actions.
While this is important for everyone, it‘s particularly crucial for an executive. Self-control is the ability to resist short-term temptations in order to meet long-term goals.
The ability to exert self-control is what allows us to direct our attention, and underlies all types of achievement. Unfortunately, this is a finite cognitive resource, just like the strength of our muscles.
What’s the scientific view?
Studies demonstrate that exercising self-control puts positive demands on your self-regulatory mechanisms.
Consequences consistently linked with lower self- control translates to increased unethical/deviant behavior, decreased pro-social behavior, and reduced job performance64.
Leaders with lower self-control display counterproductive leadership styles and are more likely to verbally abuse their followers, more likely to build weak relationships,
In the words of Daniel Goleman, "Attention regulates emotions, focus, and self-control. The brain is the last organ of the body to mature anatomically, continuing to grow and shape itself even after our twenties—and the networks for attention are like an organ that develops in parallel with the brain.”
Cognitive science tells us that the more upset you are, the less able you become to focus on what‘s important, take it in deeply, or respond nimbly. Leaders who manage emotions well have better business outcomes.
Teams that value and practice self-control are likely to be charismatic, to better communicate between team members and display positive dispositional affect, to focus on a solution more than problems, think before they act, and they are bold risk-takers.
People with emotional self-control66 have the ability to manage disturbed emotions and remain effective, even in stressful situations. The science of expertise pins down that the self-control muscle exists and is a game-changer
for an executive. You can read further below a relevant study that we decided to include.
Gillebaart M (2018) The ‘Operational’ Definition of Self-Control. Front. Psychol. 9:1231. doi: 10.3389/ fpsyg.2018.01231, Personality and Social Psychology, a section of the Journal Frontiers in Psychology
The ‘Operational’ Definition of Self-Control
Marleen Gillebaart* Social, Health, and Organizational Psychology, Utrecht University, Utrecht, Netherlands
Self-control is a hot topic across disciplines. As such, consensus on defining self-control is critical for advancing both scientific progress as well as societal impact of research findings.
Specifically, the emergence of initiation as a self-control component, and the notion of effortless and strategic self-control, give rise to the question whether and how to distinguish self-control from self-regulation. In this paper, I propose an operational definition of self-control, based on converging definitions from the literature as well as on the emergence of new perspectives on self-control.
The TOTE-model (Test-Operate-Test-Exit) of self- regulation will serve as a basis for this definition as it gives clear guidance for the inclusion of self-control as a component of, but not synonymous to self-regulation.
Ultimately, an ‘operational’ definition is proposed in which self-regulation entails scaffolding for goal pursuit, including setting standards,and monitoring discrepancies, whereas self-control entails everything that one does in the ‘operate’ phase. This perspective allows for inclusion of traditional as well as contemporary research on self- control, and can provide direction for future studies.
Introduction
Self-control is a hot topic across disciplines.
Scholars from social, health, and personality psychology, as well as from developmental and brain sciences, to name a few areas, devote their work to understanding the causes, consequences, and underpinnings of this key human trait.
As such, consensus on what we mean when we use the term self-control is critical. Without such consensus, synthesizing research on self-control is precluded, hindering both scientific progress as well as societal impact of research findings.
However, recent developments in self-control research seem to have muddled the definition waters, causing some confusion about what self-control entails, and what it does not.
Specifically, the emergence of initiation as a self-control component, and the notion of effortless and strategic self-control, give rise to the question whether and how to distinguish self-control from self-regulation.
In this paper, I propose an operational definition of self-control, based on converging definitions from the literature as well as on the emergence of new perspectives on self-control.
The TOTE-model (Test-Operate-Test-Exit, Carver and Scheier, 1982) of self-regulation will serve as a basis for this definition as it gives clear guidance for the inclusion of self-control as a component of, but not synonymous to self-regulation. The importance of self-control for behavior and well-being is undisputed. Several studies have shown that self-control level at a young age can
predict cognitive and self-regulatory skills in adolescence (Shoda et al., 1990), as well as essential outcomes such as health and well-being later in life (Moffitt et al., 2011).
frameworks (e.g., Metcalfe and Mischel, 1999; Hofmann et al., 2009). Dual-systems theories are characterized by the notion of two systems for processing information
and guiding behavior. The ‘hot’ system is fast, associative,
Moreover, having self-control is related to better grades and academic achievements (Tangney et al., 2004; Duckworth and Seligman,2005), better quality interpersonal relationships (Vohs et al., 2011), and basically, a happier life (Cheung et al., 2014; Hofmann et al., 2014).
Conversely, being prone to low self-control is associated with problematic behaviors and outcomes such as impulse buying (Baumeister, 2002) and financial debt (Gathergood, 2012), maladaptive eating patterns (Elfhag and Morey, 2008), and procrastination (Tice and Baumeister, 1997).
Because of these robust associations between self-control and this myriad of behaviors and outcomes, self-control has been coined a ‘hallmark of adaptation’ (De Ridder et al., 2012).
For such an essential psychological construct, the dispersion of definitions is remarkable to say the least (see also Milyavskaya et al., 2018). For example, in terms of operationalizations, the amount of self-control measures easily reaches a 100 (Duckworth and Kern, 2011).
Before integrating perspectives on self-control, let us first discuss the most prominent definitions that are out there already. One of the narrower definitions of self- control equates the concept with inhibitory control. In this definition, self-control includes, and is limited to, the effortful inhibition of impulses.
This inhibition is the key self-control component in many self-control theories and models, including those based on delay of gratification (Ainslie, 1975; Mischel et al., 1989; Kirby and Herrnstein, 1995) and dual-systems
continuously ‘on,’ and provides impulsive tendencies for behavior.
The ‘cold’system on the other hand is a bit slower, can only function when enough resources (e.g., energy, attention) are available, and is more likely to initiate rationalized behavior (Evans, 2008; Kahneman, 2011).
Self-control can, according to this perspective, be defined as the mechanism that allows for inhibiting or overriding impulses coming from the hot system, allowing precedence of the cold system (Gillebaart and De Ridder, 2017).
Self-control has also been defined as the ability to delay immediate gratification of a smaller reward for a larger reward later in time (Ainslie, 1975; Mischel et al., 1989;
Kirby and Herrnstein, 1995).
This definition includes the effortful inhibition notion,but is extended in the sense that it emphasizes the selfcontrol dilemma or conflict between a short-term, immediately gratifying option (that needs to be inhibited) and a long- term option with a larger reward value.
The ability to forego the immediate reward reflects self- control. A related model of self-control is the strength model of self-control (Baumeister and Heatherton, 1996; Muraven and Baumeister, 2000).
The strength model is one of the most prominent, heavily debated models of self-control, and refers to self-control as ‘ an act of self-control by which the self alters its own behavioral patterns so as to prevent or inhibit its dominant
response’ (Muraven and Baumeister, 2000, p. 247). The most significant proposition from this model entails the ‘ego depletion’ phenomenon. Based on the models tenet that self-control is effortful, ego depletion describes the self-control failure that can follow from earlier effortful self-control exertion due to depletion of a limited self- control resource.
Importantly however, this model focuses on state self- control, precluding a broader perspective on self-control as a disposition or trait. These traditional definitions of
needs to initiate the consumption of healthy foods like fruits and vegetables on a regular basis. Likewise, to be successful in terms of academic performance, one needs to initiate a lot of behaviors that may not be immediately satisfying (and sometimes even no fun at all).
Indeed, De Ridder et al. (2011) were able to define both an inhibitory and an initiatory component of self- control, with inhibitory self-control predicting undesired behavior, and initiatory self-control predicting desired behavior.
self-control have two key aspects in common: effort and
inhibition.
However, over the past decade several researchers have suggested and shown that in order to be able to successfully use self-control in daily life, one needs to do more than simply effortfully inhibit impulses and unwanted responses in specific instances.
With regards to inhibition, many long-term goals of course do require inhibition of responses that are in correspondence with short-term goals, but not with long-term goals.
For example, one may have a long-term goal to have a healthy body, and may therefore need to inhibit the urge to bury one’s face in chocolate cake. Or, one may want to achieve academic success, and may therefore need to inhibit the binge-watching impulse fed by the Netflix algorithm.
However, these long-term goals of a healthy body and academic success are not achieved by solely inhibiting impulsive behaviors that are incongruent with long-term goal pursuit. In fact, initiation of long-term congruent behaviors may be equally, if not more important. For example, to have a healthy body in the long run, one
Acknowledging initiation as a component of self-control holds implications for self-control’s definition, and may mean that this definition needs to be updated to align
with these current insights.
Following the acknowledgment of initiation as an essential part of self-control, it was proposed that self- control can be conceptualized as the resolution of the conflict between two motives (i.e., short-term and long-term), with emphasis on the notion that effortful inhibition is but one of many possible ways of handling these types of dilemmas (e.g., Fujita, 2011; De Ridder et al., 2012).
Taking it even further, Gillebaart and De Ridder (2015) suggest that self-control simply cannot rely on effortful inhibition only, because this would render people extremely prone to self-control failure all the time, due to depletion, fatigue, or lack of attentional or motivational resources.
In reality however, many people succeed in using their self-control in subsequent situations. Gillebaart and De Ridder suggest that people who have a high level of (trait) self-control generally do not actually use effortful
inhibition to resolve self-control dilemmas, but instead use their self-control to install ‘smart,’ relatively effortless strategies for long-term goal congruent behaviors. One of these proposed self-control strategies is the automatization of adaptive behaviors.
their long-term goals. An example of such a strategy is pro-active avoidance (Ent et al., 2015; Gillebaart and De Ridder, 2015). People with higher levels of self-control initiated behavior aimed at avoiding temptations, and when given the option more often chose to work in an
environment void of distraction (Entet al., 2015).
Recent studies have supported this proposition by showing that people with higher levels of trait self- control have habits that align with their long-term goals.
People with high trait self-control have stronger habits for studying and healthy eating (Galla and Duckworth, 2015), as well as for exercising (Gillebaart and Adriaanse, 2017). Interestingly, higher self-control does not necessarily mean stronger habits across the board.
A study by Adriaanse et al. (2014) demonstrated that people with higher levels of self-control in fact have a weaker habit for eating unhealthy snacks. The important conclusion from these studies is therefore not that people with high self-control have stronger habits, but rather that their response to environmental cues is automatized in the direction that is in line with their long-term goals.
This allows for an effortless way of resolving self-control dilemmas. A meta-analysis on the association between self-control and a range of behaviors supports this notion by demonstrating stronger effects of self-control on automatic behaviors than on deliberate behaviors (De Ridder et al., 2012).
Taking automatic self-control behaviors into account, the notion of ‘effort’ that has also been central when defining self-control needs to be revisited. Further research into effortless self-control strategies has indicated that people with high self-control use their self-control to create environments for themselves that are in congruence with
Avoiding a temptation at an early stage allows for relatively effort-free self-control, as regulation of an impulsive state becomes more difficult as this state unfolds over time (Gross, 2014).
Avoiding temptations, and thus self-control dilemmas, thus leads to less need to use effortful self-control (i.e., effortful inhibition of impulsive tendencies). This is reflected in daily life as well, as a diary study on self- control and daily experiences of desire, temptation, and conflict demonstrated that higher self-control was associated with fewer exerienced temptations, and fewer instances of self-control conflict and resisting temptations (Hofmann et al., 2012).
Moreover, if people with high self-control do encounter self-control dilemmas, they are able to resolve those dilemmas in a more efficient way compared to their low self-control counterparts (Gillebaart et al., 2016).
Taken together, research shows that there are different strategies for self-control, differing in how much effort they cost, whether they focus on inhibition or initiation, how automatized they are, and where they are applied on the self-control dilemma timeline.
These recent studies on self-control and automatic, habitual and strategic self-control behaviors further emphasize the need to have a good look at the definition of self-control as being effortful, and focused on inhibition.
In fact, considering these new developments in the field of self-control, the self-control definition is in desperate need of an update.
However, including initiatory self-control and effortless self-control in the definition of self-control does pose a theoretical question: to what extent are we still talking about self-control, and to what extent are we talking about the more broadly defined concept of self-regulation?
One may argue that we can hold on to our classic definition(s) of self-control, by simply stating that the self-control strategies that include initiation, smart use
follows from recent developments in research on self- control processes can be resolved by referring back to fundamental theoretical frameworks of self-regulation that include feedback loops, such as the cybernetic TOTE model (Powers, 1973).
Carver and Scheier (1981, 1982) identified three main ingredients of self-regulation: standards, monitoring, and operating.
In order to self-regulate successfully, there needs to be some sort of desired end state or standard that is identi-
fied by the individual.
of strategies, and do not rely on effort, are actually not
self-control strategies, but rather are part of what we call ‘self-regulation.’
Self-regulation can be defined as the whole system of standards, thoughts, processes, and actions that guide people’s behavior toward desired end states (Carver and Scheier, 2012). These desired end states may be long-term goals, but can also refer to other standards or norms. From this definition, it is obvious that self-regulation and self-control are closely related concepts.
In fact, they can be become so intertwined, that the terms are being used interchangeably. The distinction between self-regulation and self-control can apparently be so complex, that in the same line of research, the distinction is sometimes explicitly made (e.g., Baumeister and Vohs,
Without such a standard, there is no direction for self- regulation, and also no motivation to steer or alter any behavior in a specific direction. In order to apply self- regulatory effort, an individual needs to be able to monitor any discrepancies between the current state and the standard (‘Test’), as well as any progress that is taking place.
Finally, one needs to be able to actually control behavior into the desired direction (‘Operate’). The result serves as input for the second ‘Test’ phase. The feedback loop is exited if the current state is in line with the desired state or standard. Importantly, both setting standards or goals, and monitoring any discrepancies are part of this self- regulation feedback loop.
2003), where other times the two terms are seemingly
treated as referring to the same thing (e.g., Baumeister et al., 2007).
Self-regulation therefore involves much more than simply controlling behavior, but rather provides the entire scaffolding for successful goal pursuit.
However, lumping the two terms together as if they
are the same thing does not do either of the concepts justice. I propose that the terminological and theoretical dispute between self-regulation and self-control that
The crucial self-control element within the self-regulation feedback loop is ‘Operate.’ The difference between self-
regulation and self-control therefore is that self-regulation ability allows people to formulate goals, standards, and desired end-states, as well as to monitor any discrepancies between one’s current state and these desired end-states, whereas everything that one does to steer one’s behavior toward the desired end state constitutes self-control.
Phrased differently, everything that takes place in Carver and Scheier’s ‘Operate’ phase is what we would call self- control. Although this distinction or categorization has been alluded to before (e.g., Baumeister and Vohs, 2003), and shares some aspects with a recent analysis of self- control as being a value-based choice (Berkman et al., 2017), its importance for the current developments in the field has not been acknowledged up until now.
This ‘operational’ definition of self-control in itself may not be new, but it does emerge anew from the current developments in the field that shift away from classic theories and definitions.
At the same time, it also departs from these definitions, leaving room for a new perspective. Specifically, taking this perspective on the concept of self-control allows for inclusion of classic as well as contemporary work on self- control.
It also goes beyond the phenomenon of ego depletion, and allows for including state self-control as well as the more dispositional trait self-control, which is in fact predictive of many positive and negative life outcomes (Tangney et al., 2004).
Moreover, ‘operate’ may have been identified as the self- control component of self-regulation, yet what is meant by ‘operate’ is in need of clarification and specification. As stated earlier, in the current perspective I propose that everything that one does to adjust one’s behavior toward
a desired end state is part of ‘operate,’ and therefore part of self-control. This means that effortful as well as effortless self-control, inhibition as well as initiation, and deliberate as well as automatic actions can all be included into this definition of self-control, without convoluting the distinction between self-control and self-regulation.
For example, suppressing one’s impulses to give into temptations that are not in line with our long-term goals (i.e., desired end states) is ‘operating,’ and so is inhibiting an unwanted response. Similarly, habitually avoiding the candy isle in the supermarket falls under ‘operating’ in order to reach a long-term goal of staying healthy.
Likewise, being able to delay gratification by an instant, smaller reward in order to receive a larger delayed reward is ‘operating’ in terms of the self-regulation feedback loop.
Concluding Remarks
The most interesting consequence of this conceptualiza- tion of self-control is the fact that defining self-control as the set of skills, capacities, and behaviors that we need to ‘operate’ in a self-regulation feedback loop.
This allows for inclusion of the recently identified ‘smart’ or ‘effortless’ strategies that people with high self-control seem to (successfully) use.
Importantly, this definition does not exclude the more narrow or classic definitions of self-control that have focused on effort and inhibition, but rather allows for a broader perspective that integrates these different aspects.
A side note that comes with this analysis is that there may be situations in which monitoring itself may become a self-control issue (e.g., when one anticipates large discrepancies with the goal). In these cases, a second
feedback loop for the sub-goal of monitoring one’s current state is created. In these instances, the operating phase (and therefore self-control) may also refer to the action of monitoring.
The ‘operational’ definition of self-control also allows for a new line of empirical questions, answering of which would deepen our knowledge of self-control. For example, self- control strategies, whether it is inhibition or initiation, smart or effortful in nature, automatic or deliberate, all guide behavior and are ‘stored’ in the operate phase.
However, one may wonder whether there are preferred strategies in general, or differing per individual, or per situation. A certain ‘ranking’ of self-control strategies is not implausible, as some require fewer resources than others (e.g., habits vs. effortful inhibition), and the timeline of a self-control dilemma affects what type of strategy is needed to resolve it Duckworth et al. (2016).
Baumeister, R. F., and Heatherton, T. F. (1996). Self-regulation failure: an overview. Psychol. Inq. 7, 1–15. doi: 10.1207/s15327965pli0701_1
Baumeister, R. F., and Vohs, K. D. (2003). “Self-regulation and the executive function of the self,” in Handbook of Self and Identity, 1,eds
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Baumeister, R. F., Vohs, K. D., and Tice, D. M. (2007). The strength model of self- control. Curr. Dir. Psychol. Sci. 16, 351–355. doi: 10.1111/j.1467-8721.2007. 00534.x
Berkman, E. T., Hutcherson, C. A., Livingston, J. L., Kahn, L. E., and Inzlicht, M. (2017). Self-control as a value-based choice. Curr. Dir. Psychol. Sci. 26, 422–428. doi: 10.1177/0963721417704394
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Cheung,T.T., Gillebaart, M., Kroese, F., and De Ridder, D.T. D. (2014).
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Redefining self-control with a fresh perspective therefore al-
lows research into self-control success, and smart self-control strategies, to flourish and ultimately advances the field.
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De Ridder, D. T. D., de Boer, B. J., Lugtig, P., Bakker, A. B., and van Hooft, E. A. (2011). Not doing bad things is not equivalent to doing the
right thing: distinguishing between inhibitory and initiatory self-control.
Author contributions
The author confirms being the sole contributor of this work and approved it for publication.
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CREATIVITY CONCEPTS
Creativity is a fairly recent topic of study and research in a collective sense – human beings have constantly invented, reinvented and innovated, but the analysis of methods and techniques of creative thinking (and their processes) is not new. Some of the practical creativity techniques are presented in the work of followings:
Alex Osborn – Brainstorming (since 1950’s to the present day) Genrikh Altshuller’s Theory of Inventive Problem Solving
(TRIZ 1950’s)
D.K. Simonton’s studies into the origins of genius (1999)
R.S. Nickerson book Enhancing Creativity proposes 12 stages of process in applying creativity techniques
Michael Michalko’s techniques summaries (Project 2A Brief )
Tom Kelley from IDEO
Sir Ken Robinson, Out of Our Minds, and TED Talk
Daniel Pink, A Whole New Mind, 2005
Professor Teresa Amabile’s studies of the creativity of groups and organisations (Figure xx). Amabile argues that to enhance creativity in business, 3 components are needed – expertise, skills and motivation.
Dr Edward de Bono
“A major characteristic of creative geniuses is the tendency to extend their associative horizon widely and unusually. The rest of us tend to constrain our associative horizons, in the spirit of linear and explanatory thinking, and to minimise imaginative connections, which are seen as carelessness and lack of discipline. Yet associations and imaginative connections are essential elements of creativity; they distinguish ideas that are truly original and innovative from those that are logical but inconsequential.”
Fig. xx There are three main components of Amabile’s Componential Creativity Model: Expertise (also known as domain relevant skills), Creative Thinking Skills (cognitive and personality processes conducive to novel thinking),Task Motivation (specifically, intrinsic motivation).
DEVELOPING CREATIVITY
Learn the formula for infusing creativity in your personal and professional lives
”Making love is the most formidable thing in the universe, the most magical mystery that human beings know.“
Amy Lowell, US poet
”Mind is shaped continually throughout life by the connection between neurophysiology processes of the brain and interpersonal relationships.“
Daniel J. Siegel, The Developing Mind: How Relationships and Brain Interact
to Shape Who We are
papers showing that when people are in more positive emotions, they are more creative (Isen, 1999). This support has been extended to studies within organizations. In the first longitudinal study of daily work creativity, a study examined self-reports, other ratings, and daily diary data from 222 employees in 7 companies over the length of an entire project, directly addressing the question of whether negative versus positive emotions would enhance creativity (Amabile, Barsade, Mueller, & Staw, 2005).
This study found a strong linear relationship between
Emotions and Creativity
In searching the research on the relationship between positive emotions and creativity we found arguments in literature that have been made for the influence of positive versus negative emotion states and traits on creativity ( James, Brodersen, & Jacob, 2004).
CHALLENGING DOGMA
What if the dominant conventions in erotic field is outdated, unnecessary, or just plain wrong?
UNDERSTANDING
Positive emotion has been proposed to positively
influence creativity by leading to a state in which builds more cognitive material—more variety in the elements that are considered—is available for processing.
Then, once those elements are available, positive emotion leads to a more complex, flexible judgement, allowing
PIONEERING TRENDS
What are the shifts and discontinuities that will provide the inner energy for a major leap forward?
NEEDS
What are the unmet needs, frustrations, and blind-spots that many are simply ignoring?
a broader choice of elements to come together and an increased chance that people will in fact put together all of the cognitive elements that have become available (Isen, 1999; Frederickson, 1998).
There is strong support for this theory in laboratory studies of induced positive emotion and creativity, with many
LEVERAGING YOUR INNER RESOURCES
How can you arrange existing skills, strengths and personal assets into new combinations that add up to more than the sum of the parts?
Fig. 54 Factors that affect creativity
greater positive emotions and creativity in organizations.
see things differently.
Also, the influence of positive emotions on creativity
lasted up to 2 days after the positive emotions had been felt. Overall, research support is for a positive relationship between positive emotions and creativity.
Understanding creativity
Creativity is a central source of meaning in our lives. Most of the things that are interesting, important, and valuable for humankind are the result of creativity.
Creative people are nonconformists, not only do they have new ideas but they also take action to champion them. They are people who stand out and speak up. They drive creativity and change in the world. They‘re the people you want to bet on.
Creative people know how to consider divergent ideas, how to think in non-linear ways, and how to make unexpected leaps. Creative people are aware not only on deja-vu but also on vuja-de. Vuja-de is when they look at something they've seen many times before and all of a sudden they see it with fresh eyes.
Creative people grow by having intense pleasurable experiences, they are the so called "experimentalists"and that's a characteristic of their inner theatre. According to Gallup, only 1 in 4 can strongly agree they have the opportunity to use creativity at work.
Creativity stems from a "drive for cognitive exploration of one's inner and outer worlds67". This curiosity to examine things from all angles may lead people to see more than the average person or to discover complex possibilities laying dormant in so-called, familiar environments. Creative tendencies of open people extend all the way down to basic visual perception. Creative people don't just bring a different perspective to things, they genuinely
Creative people are paradoxically high on erotic energy.
They seem to have quite a strong dose of Eros. Continence accompanies achievement. Without Eros, it would be difficult to take life on with vigour; without restraint, the energy could easily dissipate.
Creative people have a great deal of inner creativity, but they’re also often quiet and at rest. They work long hours, with great concentration, while projecting an aura of freshness and enthusiasm.
A highly creative team consists of creative contributors valued for their vitality, inner and outer experiences, aim to realize team creativity. That we know how to cultivate creativity in our team – we support each other ‘s creativity in a very creative way.
Creativity results in increased engagement, positive staff morale, increased passion, motivation, productivity, and abilities for problem-solving, increased team bonding and collaboration.
Creativity: Skills or trait?
A psychologically androgynous person in effect doubles his/her repertoire of responses68. Creative people are more likely to have not only the strengths of their own gender but those of the other one, too.
Creative people show tendencies containing contradictory extremes; of thought and action that in instead of being an ”individual”, most people are segregated69. They each of them is "a multitude”. Most of us have a habit of being reactionary when things happen and we see things a certain way without questioning if our beliefs are accurate. Then our actions are spurred on by those – often
false – beliefs. "You can't solve problems with the same mindset that created them." Consequently, if we want to resolve issues, we need to tap into a different mindset and a different way of seeing things70.
When we are able to tap into creativity in our relationships, rather than trying to manipulate other people to change, we turn into the problem solver who sees multiple possibilities for fixing the same problem. Rather than my way or your way, the creative mind comes up with a third, fourth, or fifth possibility.
So, how do you develop your relationship creativity?
As a practice, you can start by examining any situation in the past that didn’t end up the way you wanted it to go. Determine what the original event was and notice what you chose to believe (your mindset), and how you responded at the time. What was the outcome that resulted?71
Explore creative options that you might have employed as responses instead and use your imagination to consider what the likely outcome would have been. List as many possible responses as you can and notice which responses would likely lead to outcomes that are close to your desired solution, and which do not.
While you are at it, look at what you chose to believe (he doesn’t love me, she doesn’t think I’m good enough, I’m always going to be alone, etc) and practice considering these thoughts as hypotheses instead of truths. Then imagine as many other possible hypotheses that you can for the same situation.
Even just exercising creativity in your belief system will challenge your old patterns and mental programs and will allow you to call into question ideas that block your development and growth. This recognition will free you
up resources. Once you get the hang of it, it starts to become fun, as you will start to see how, as the creator, you are quite powerful.
Then, in your current situations, rather than reacting as you had in the past, take a deep breath and creatively reconsider your response options. If the picture of your relationship doesn’t look the way you want it to, make some changes.
Ask yourself: how I could do things differently? Don’t just resign yourself that “things are evolving like this in every relationship”, don’t become jaded. When things are not going sufficiently well and you feel you could be happier, go and learn something new.
Add in a splash of love, some more empathy, more time spent in intimacy, a new practice that puts you both in a state of flow, a drop of transfiguration, a touch of dignity, 2 hours of erotic continence and turn your relationship into a masterpiece. Then circulate the energy generated with the goal to grow your creativity.
Walking benefits well known before science confirmed
For centuries, great thinkers have instinctively stepped out the door and begun walking, or at the very least pacing, when they needed to boost creativity. Charles Dickens routinely walked some 30 miles a day, while the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche stated: “All truly great thoughts are conceived while walking.”
Modern activities for creative problem-solving include daydreaming, sleep, and cardiovascular exercise. Walking appeared to be until recently a more benign solution, with the environment often being touted as the catalyst for ingenuity. Stanford researchers Marily Oppezzo and Daniel L. Schwartz wanted to know if the brain-body connection offered by walking alone is enough to kick-
start creative ideas. Their answer is yes. The effect was similar regardless of whether participants took a stroll inside or stayed inside, walking on a treadmill, and staring at a wall.
about the effects of a simple walk, what could be the common-sense correlation between an intimate experience (that generates a lot of intense positive emotions and a large amount of beneficial physiological effects) and a creativity
boost?
They found that people perform better on creative diver- gent thinking tests during and immediately after walking.
Using the unused
The erotic drive is one of the most potent forces that we as
The act of walking itself,rather than the sights encountered on a saunter, was key to improving creativity, they found. Dan Schwartz, who conducted the study and is the dean of Stanford Graduate School of Education, says in an interview that there are "very complicated" physiological changes associated with walking.
It's not exactly clear why walking is helpful to so many thinkers, but "it could be that the brain is focusing on doing a task it's quite good at," he adds, which then allows it to free up and relax72.
Exercise is known to improve emotions, and so it’s likely that the aerobic activity has an effect. But it’s not clear whether more intense forms of exercise have exactly the same effect as walking.
"When I'm in good shape, my imagination can go, but when I'm in bad shape, all I can think about is how much it hurts", says Schwartz, suggesting that perhaps the activity would have to be undemanding to have a creative boost.
Barbara Oakley, an engineering professor at Oakland University who wrote a book about learning effectively which includes the benefits of walking73, says in an interview that "we make a mistake of thinking that we’re only learning when we’re focused. In fact, walking allows us subconsciously to process and think in a different way".74Considering all this backed-up by science news
human beings have access to. This force can be controlled, transformed and utilized in your day-to-day activities.
Channelling this energy will help one develop new capacities and create a high-level of work-life integration. Napoleon Hill also wrote that "the men who have achieved great fortunes and achieved outstanding recognition in literature, art, industry, architecture, and the other professions, were motivated by the influence of a woman."
He notes: "Love is the emotion, which serves as a safety valve, and ensures balance, poise, and constructive effort. Love, romance and sex may lift one to an altitude of a genius." Intimate experience and love combined is the secret sauce.
“Making a more intentional effort to maintain a healthy sex life should be considered an issue of human sustainability, and as a result, a potential career advantage” said Keith Leavitt, PhD, an expert in organizational behavior and management.
When you deeply understand the reasoning, your motivation goes high. It's just like doing a workout but beating yourself up mentally while doing it: the benefits of the workout will be negated by your negative mental chatter. Great, connected, loving intimate experiences (in which erotic continence is a smart deliberate choice) can be the fuel for the next big idea or inspiration you need to
go to the next level in your career.
creatively, explicitly about sex – if you do, you can't get
published. If you're an artist, nobody encourages you to
The energy, aliveness, and desire you gain from a smart intimate experience can fuel your creativity and innovative
thinking.
There's a physiological effect, too: the chemicals that are released during orgasm(without discharge) are healthy for you. Oxytocin is released throughout the body, relaxes and makes you feel closer to your partner.
Research shows that this hormone enables cognitive flexibility pathways, fosters creative thinking, and problem-solving.
Below are some thoughts of esteemed professionals on the link between intimate experiences and creativity, who deeply believe in the correlation and use it for both their personal life and career:
Frank Mondeoses, President of Monde Osé and Faculty Member of International Schools of Temple Arts -"Eros is absolutely linked to creativity and imagination. Through the breath, sound, and movement of our intimate activities, the body increases vitality, which amplifies our ability to gather and visualize psychic information. By staying present and embodied, we energetically interpret information that is flowing to us, which regularly would go undetected. "
Cindy Gallop, Founder & CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn
– “Having great intimate experiences makes you feel great about your eroticism, makes you feel great about yourself, makes you more creative, more productive, happier – more of everything." What's depressing is that we're so narrow-minded as a society. It doesn't work the other way round: we're not creative enough about intimacy. If you're a writer, nobody encourages you to write innovatively,
explore sexual themes in your art – if you do, you can't find a gallery or an agent, can't show your work, can't sell it.
It's a virtuous circle – the more open-minded we all are, the more we rejoice in our sexuality, have great sex, feel comfortable expressing ourselves, the more creative we are, the more we bring that creativity to bear on the universal human experience, the more happiness we bring to everyone."
3. Matt Schwenteck, sexual educator and faculty member of International Schools of Temple Arts -"That part of the brain where we are capable of making choices and able to get and follow spontaneous impulses from, that part needs to be active to be able to have fulfilling eroticism.
Furthermore, the possibility of realizing DMT through no goal-orientated intimacy increases creativity. The cellular vibration of a sexually-charged body allows a deeper, more powerful, energized, present, and mindful action."
Dr. Stephen de Wit, Toronto-based Sexologist –
“Embracing your eroticism and your erotic energy is a powerful access point to you accepting yourself and your most authentic self-expression.”
Myisha Battle, Sex Coach of Sex for Life, LLC – “Erotic energy can be seen as the most powerful kind of creative energy because, in lots of cases, the act of sex can lead to the creation of life. Even if you choose not to procreate or if you engage in erotic intimacy that would never lead to conception, you are co-creating an experience with another
human being. In my work with clients who are erotically blocked, I often recommend a creative assignment so that they can establish a connection to that energy without the pressure of having to jump back into intimacy right away. It’s a way of ‘priming the pump’ for erotic desire."
Jay Wiseman, author and publisher of Greenery Press –
"My most creative ideas have emerged during or after an amazing lovemaking session when I surrender to the body's vibration. They come to me as obvious and clear revelations!"
She continues: “Sex and creativity are linked in that both can involve innovation. In the case of intimacy, one creates a new and innovative experience for one’s partner.”
Martha Tara Lee, clinical sexologist -"If sexually inhibited people I have met know how to suppress their sexual energy by distracting themselves and doing something else rather than address and express their sexuality, then imagine what could happen if each of us honed our sexual energy consciously and directed it toward what matters to us. Where the attention is, energy flows. We need to try it, and then we will know for ourselves the differences when we channel our energy, and when we don't.76"
Sandra LaMorgese PhD., author, speaker, holistic health and contributor to Huffington Post-
I learned that sexuality is the highest form of transmutable
energy.
In other words, we all have the ability to transfer our
creative erotic energy into other areas of our life for the purpose of achieving wealth, happiness, love, health, and any other positive benefits we seek.
Every time we use our erotic creative energy, therefore, we are in the process of manifesting beneficial and motivating ideas for realizing our hopes and dreams.”
We challenge you to think about this and remember that erotic desire is one of life's most powerful – and natural
forces. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how a lacklustre relationship or erotic life deflates someone.
In contrast, someone who is alive, full of desire and energized by his or her relationship and sex, glows. They radiate and are using that energy to fuel all aspects of their life. So go ahead, cultivate your erotic energy.
We are willing to bet you will please your partner,experience unbelievable intense positive emotions and see your career prosper. How can it get better than that?
KEY INSIGHT
THE MAIN SOURCE OF CREATIVITY IS THE EROTIC
ENERGY.
Written after a seminar with sexologists in Lausanne, Switzerland,
March 2017
PRIVATE PRACTICE IMPACTS PROFESSIONAL
Not „either/or”, but "both and more”
A deliberate practice
Fig. 55 Multi-dimensional impact.
MORE ON INNER ENERGY
Our scarcest resource in the workplace isn't the time or attention – it's inner energy
”Willpower is the capacity to restrain our impulses, resist temptation – do what’s right and good for us in the long run, not what we want to do right now. It’s central, in fact, to civilization.“
Roy Baumeister, Ph.D.
”The biggest highlight about Superior Intimacy is reinvention. Reinventing yourself, reinventing your business, reinventing the way you do leadership.“
Program Participant
The essential cause in charisma enhancement
Contrary to popular belief, our scarcest resource in the workplace isn't time or attention — it's inner energy. To achieve maximum productivity, companies should dedicate sufficient time to the most pressing tasks. They should also challenge the common view that businesses gain a commercial and competitive advantage by absorbing as much information as possible or developing awareness. How can leaders manage their energy more effectively and focus on the right tasks?
Individually — by changing intimate behaviors and learning how to control their procreative, erotic, and substantial potential and use it for non-erotic purposes.
The process is based on biological transmutation of erotic fluids at body temperature, if one knows and applies simple techniques. This will bring multiple benefits to the professional life.
You can avoid loss of energy by understanding that (unless you want to procreate) you should not lose your
creative, erotic, and substantial potential through a banal discharge. Erotic discharge (for both men and women) brings a decline in all aspects of life. A paper from the University of Utrecht suggests that a woman needs at least 33 minutes of intimate erotic experience to reach a state of satisfaction, fulfilment and balance.
In some countries, the average time for erotic intimate experiences is about 7-10 minutes. A woman is totally justified to ask “what was this?” when she experience frustration, depression and anger immediately after such a short erotic interaction.
While rational thinking is everywhere, you shouldn't be afraid to rely on intuition. It's tempting to back every argument with evidence, but the most successful business leaders — from Henry Ford to Steve Jobs and Jeff Bezos
— have always sought to combine rational and intuitive thinking and were open to change and have often engaged in new behaviors
Why not see your intimate life as an opportunity for leadership development? Why not extract an incredible amount of energy from your private intimate experiences?
Find time for reflection. Think of taking breaks as a form of meditation allowing you to transform your inner resonance. We find a 30 minute meditation session great for changing inner states, uplifting energy, and clarifying work priorities. Managing your energy is one thing, but what about the energy of other? Given that change is the only constant, stress is high and you and your team share the risk of burnout. On top of this, each member is also highly sensitive to stimuli and cues from your projected
energy. Without realizing, you adjust their energy and attention when talking about cost-cutting, new strategic initiatives or promotions.
A manager is better if he/she is able to effectively manage their team's energy first and then their attention.
These changes focus your team's energy and collectively shape people's views on what's important, which then influences their subsequent behaviors.
Managing your team’s energy
Our advice for managing your team's energy is to follow these rules: First, explain the concept of inner energy. Explain the importance of inner energy management and balance, harmony, joy, and happiness.
Create the right resonance in your team. If every week, you only emphasize the business, your employees will get bored and tune out. Conversely, they are more likely to share and understand your goals if you show you care about their happiness.
For example, a Silicon Valley tech start-up begins each meeting talking about happiness – it's a simple but effective way of having the employees keep the issue high on employees' agenda.
Second, be clear on where they focus their energy; is their energy centred on the current customer segmentation when they should be thinking about non-customers?
Once you're aware of their focus, you can strategically
CEO launched an inner energy initiative and made sure that people understood that behind any change program they needed inner energy to make things happen.
The changes led to a marked shift in people's behaviors, with the senior executives focusing more on meditation practice and other techniques. Our job as leaders is to use scarce resources effectively. In today's knowledge age, we think of inner energy as the scarce resource that needs harnessing.
However, information is everywhere and knowledge is shared widely across companies, being easily accessible. With enough inner energy, one can build and develop new behaviors and further new competencies.
In such a world, the scarce resource is inner energy — and we need to manage it more smartly by learning and practicing new behaviors that have no medical risks attached. As the old adage goes, change starts from within.
KEY INSIGHT
ENERGY IS WHAT MAKES STRATEGY EXECUTED
Written in Geneva, Switzerland, March 2018
REAL CASE EXAMPLE
Swami Shivananda, Born 1896, Behala, India Lives in Kolkata, India
shift them away from this as and when required. Another
SEMEN
VEGANISM
DAILY YOGA
example, a global FMCG company missed opportunities because it had three directors suffering from burnout
RETENTION+ +
MEDITATION
and their replacements weren't able to deal with the complexity of the ongoing projects. To address this, the
Fig. 54 Longevity is affected by vitality.
SUPERIOR INTIMATE EXPERIENCES AS
A CATALYST FOR BETTER PERFORMANCE
Erotic activities in a couple relationship produce the greatest amount of happiness
”Being happy at work starts at home.“
Keith Leavitt, Associate Professor,
OSU College of Business
”Why can we use words like solution, superiority, efficiency, and alignment in our orgs, but not words like love, joy, beauty, and justice?“
Gary Hamel
Not happy at work? Take a break, go home with your partner, and engage in an intimate erotic experience. That's what a study recently published in the Journal of Management suggests. Councilman Per-Erik Muskos thought the same when he recently proposed giving the 550 employees of Overtornea, Sweden, a paid hour a week to leave work to have intimate experiences at home in their couple relationship35.
satisfaction and successful business outcome. Happy employees have, on average 31% higher productivity and their sales are 37% higher, and their creativity is 3 times higher85.
The link between intimate experiences and performance in life isn't immediately obvious, but having more orgasms without discharge could make you a better entrepreneur, either if you're a man or a woman.
Recent discoveries in brain function suggest that it’s because your hypothalamus – an older part of your brain that controls your basic bodily functions – controls both intimacy and aggression. By transforming your intimate life, you can influence multiple things including your motivation.
Women are happier and perform better when they ex- perience more orgasms in their private life.
Keep in mind that neither suggested using intimacy or sex
appeal to get ahead in your career. That's a completely different topic, which will not be EXPLORED here.
In both of these cases, the question was how could intimate experiences at home with your significant other affect how you perceive and perform at your job.
Are you more productive when being happy?
In a meta-analysis of 225 academic studies, researchers Sonja Lyubomirsky, Laura King, and Ed Diener found strong evidence of directional causality between life
To underline the link between intimacy and aggression, researchers used a new method of stimulating the brain using fibre optics and light-sensitive injected proteins to specifically trigger a portion of the hypothalamus in male mice. They discovered something shocking: "After a flash of light, the mice transformed from Jekylls into Hydes.
They rapidly attacked other mice, whether male, female or anaesthetized. They would even assail an inflated glove. There was only one way of preventing these violent urges: sex. If the males were actually mounting a female, the
bursts of light had little effect…These experiments clearly showed that the act of sex suppresses neurons in the brains of mice that trigger aggression.86"
Boxing coaches and professional athletes have long known this little hack to increase performance before the competition. It works for entrepreneurs too. Weightlifters even measure how discharge affects weight gain.87
So why no discharge makes you a better entrepreneur (if you're a man anyway)? First, because it will increase your inner energy. As conscious humans, we can transform that added energy into productivity, just like Napoleon Hill wrote in 1938.
A whole chapter in Think and Grow Rich is dedicated to transforming male sexual energy into productivity. He claims the intimate drive is the most powerful force in man.88 Many men would agree. The process of transforming of procreative potential into productive energy is named biological transmutation.
Elevating the frequency and circulation the energy throughout our body is the process of sublimation.
Where erotic energy, or in some cases other impulses, are consciously transformed into creative and productive acts that drive an individual to create, invent, build, or demonstrate greater intellect or acts of physical prowess… usually in favour of enhancing civilization.
Does intimacy affect your professional life?
For the study, 4 researchers (Keith Leavitt from Oregon State University, Christopher M. Barnes and Trevor Watkins from the University of Washington and David
Wagner from the University of Oregon) followed 159 married employees for two weeks.
By "followed" meaning giving the employees three brief online surveys (in the morning, afternoon, and evening) each workday.
Only one question in the survey asked about intimate experiences: “How many times did you have intercourse between the end of your work shift yesterday and right
Jogging – Meditation – Tai Chi -Yoga – Swimming
Fig.56 The process of how private life choices influence leadership capacity.
now?” with negative numbers and "I can't tell" being unacceptable answers. There was also a group of questions from the Positive and Negative Affect Schedule (PANAS) short form to assess the person's mood, 5 questions asking respondents to rate their job satisfaction and three questions to evaluate how immersed the person was in work that day.
The researchers used Amazon Mechanical Turk to recruit study participants from a wide variety of industries in the Eastern Standard Time (EST) time zone of the United States. They limited their study to married people who live with their spouses because previous research had found that married couples actually have more intimate experiences than single people. The results?
When employees had erotic intimate experiences at home, they tended to be in better moods the following day. In
conclusion, erotic intimate experiences have positive effects. This in turn can lead to greater "engagement" at work and more job satisfaction (Fig.11). This effect seemed to last up to 24 hours and occurred in both men and women, regardless of overall marital satisfaction and amount of sleep.
satisfied with their job. Positive effects can last up to couple of days. The mood-boosting and performance- enhancing effects of intimacy lasted for up to 7 days in some people. Both men and women experienced the effects, regardless of marital satisfaction and the amount of sleep they had the night before.
Bringing your work stress home can kill the mood. In many situations, the study found, bringing work-related stress back home reduced the chances of having intimate experiences that night.
So, it's important to leave work at work, and engage intimacy in your couple relationship when you get home. Of course, the study had limitations. It was just one sample and did not thoroughly examine what else was happening in the employees' lives.
For example, something else could have made the employee happy (e.g. practicing meditation or changing to a plant-based diet lifestyle), which then led to intimate experiences. This doesn't necessarily mean that you can blame your job performance on your spouse. Have you ever seen that person enter the office with an extra bounce in his or her step? All of this lends support to Muskos'
proposal, news of which quickly spread throughout
Have you ever seen those movies or television shows when a character arrives at the office beaming and is super-productive after a night of doing interesting stuff at home? Surprised? You shouldn't be.
Sweden and then around the world.
Muskos felt that the intimacy break would help improve the health and morale of municipal employees,
although he didn't clarify how the town government
Happiness at home and at work are interconnected like word and meaning36.
When employees had intimate experiences the night before, they showed up to work in a good mood. Since employees were in good spirits, they were much more engaged at work, performed better, and were much more
would make sure that employees would not use the break to do other things such as work, read a book or play tennis.
Is it realistic to institute breaks for erotic intimate experiences at your workplace?
Maybe not. But in general, workplaces may want to help
employees have better work-life integration. After all, working employees too hard can have the reverse effect in more ways than one. And pounding people with work can…well, you get the picture. "A healthy intimate life can reduce stress and make you more recharged for the long workdays ahead," says Helen Odessky Psy.D, psychologist and author of Stop Anxiety From Stopping You37.
When you have emotional intimacy in your life, it can help normalize any challenges you may be facing in your career, and it might even help push you further towards your professional goals.
At the core of it, the study highlights the importance of building a proper work-life integration. No matter how much you love your job, it's also important to have something else outside of that. It really doesn't have to be intimate experiences, but this study definitely makes a good argument for why you should be having more weekday erotic intimacy in your couple relationship.
There are so many benefits of the profound state of or- gasms (without discharge) already, and it's good to see job performance and satisfaction being added to that
list.
From I to we
Couples who use "We" vs. "I" have happier relationships, new research finds. Many of us have heard smug couples
"I think using the word 'we' is a sign that the relationship is getting more serious," says relationship therapist Aimee Hartstein, LCSW. It takes a little time to move from being an 'I' to a 'we' but it's definitely a sign that the couple is forming a new unit together.
I think it's very reassuring to both parties that we are moving from being solitary to thinking about ourselves as a couple and starting to make a decision about us as a unit together. It's a small symbolic first step towards becoming more serious about one another."
But it may be more than just a symbol. New research shows that all of that "we" talk may actually have some serious relationship benefits."Using "we" instead of "I" is linked to relationships that are happier and function better, according to a new study from the University of California, Riverside that was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
The study was a meta-analysis of 30 studies, which covered around 5,000 participants in total.The researchers looked at relationship outcomes, relationship behaviors, mental and physical health, and health behaviors covered within the studies and found that the use of "we talk" was positively linked with happier relationships and better relationship function.
Hearing your partner use "we talk" is more strongly linked with happy and functioning relationships than just using "we talk" yourself38.
who only seem to be able to speak about their lives in
terms of "we" — "we" were thinking, "we" really like, "we" are both so busy.
The truth is, it can be annoying to the personal experience on the receiving end, but it's easy to see why people in relationships would like using that kind of rhetoric.
But, no matter who was using it, there seemed to be a definite positive link between "we talk" and relationships. By examining all these studies together, they let us see the bigger picture.
'We talk' is an indicator of interdependence and general positivity in romantic relationships," Alexander Karan, a graduate student and first author this paper said in a statement.
"The primary takeaway is that interdependence may bring about supportive and relationship-centered behaviors and positive perceptions of the partner – especially important in times of stress and conflict."
Sometimes something as simple as the language we use can make a big difference in how we feel about our relationships
– and interact with our partner.That being said, do "we talk" make couples happier – or are happier couples using it more because they're happier? "It is likely both.
Hearing yourself or a partner say these words could shift individuals' ways of thinking to be more interdependent, which could lead to a healthier relationship”, Robbins said."However, it could also be the case that because the relationship is healthy and interdependent, the partners are being supportive and use 'we talk.'" More research needs to be done to understand the nuances of the link, but this study is an interesting start.
And if you want to make your relationship stronger, it may be that using "we" could be a good starting off point. So, the next time you hear a couple saying "we" this and "we" that, you may want to hold your eye roll for a second – because it may actually be making their relationship stronger.
their hands off each other to eventually slowing down into an intense intimate experience. But what if the secret to feeling like a new couple was as simple as trying something – anything – new? New research finds that it may be just that easy.
A new study published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that couples who took part in "self- expanding" activities (aka activities that are new and different or help expand your view of the world) felt the benefits in the bedroom – both in terms of erotic desire and satisfaction.
Researchers were interested in the fact that couples tend to have strong erotic desire at the beginning of a relationship, but that this can decline the more they get to know each other.
Over a series of three different experiments, including surveys of long-term couples asking about their relationship satisfaction, intimate life, and activities they participated in throughout the day, the researchers looked at the relationship between self-expanding activities and intimate behaviors.
The study found that on days when couples completed self-expanding activities together they were more likely to have intimate experiences and that intimate satisfaction levels were higher. This was true even if only one person in the couple felt personal growth as a result of the day's
activities.
Couples who are open to change and try new approaches have a more qualitative erotic life. Learning new approaches
How do you keep the spark alive in a long-term relationship? It's a question that has plagued so many couples who have gone from not being able to keep
Scientists suggested that this boost could come from couples spending more time together and having increased intimacy or even just from seeing their partner in a new light (with a new perspective, practicing transfiguration) and as more of an individual as they experience growth39.
While the term "self-expanding" may sound intimidating, couples didn't have to go trekking in the Alpes or learn white-water rafting in order to give their intimate drive a boost. It was a lot simpler than that.
"One thing to note is that participants found a wide range of activities self-expanding – so it didn't seem to require a lot of money or some [wild] adventure sports," says Amy Muise40, one of the study authors.
"It could be shared activities at home, learning something new together or visiting a new part of town." It can be that easy. What we can do?
It's heartening that you don't have to try something too out there or intimidating in order to bond as a couple and improve your intimate life – you just have to commit to putting the effort in.
Couples should make the most of their time together by considering to do something that is novel and has the potential to expand their view of themselves or life.
trying something new — the excitement of that novelty can spread through your relationship and right into the bedroom.
You don’t need to discharge
Taoists and Tantric masters – recommend transforming erotic energy into productivity and health, longevity, power and many other inner traits.Advanced practitioners suggest that for optimum power and energy, no discharge is needed, although they encourage much more frequent intimacy (without discharge.)
Orgasms happen in the brain, discharge happens in the prostate and urethra, and they are two different things that usually – due to the dogma, happen together. Diana Daffner, author of Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes A Day and a teacher of tantric practices for over 15 years, told Medical Daily:
“It’s the more subtle neurological experience of pleasure that usually accompanies the physical release. We can
learn to separate them, allowing both men and women
Of course, if your intimate life is suffering, there's also the option of trying to explore new experience in the
to experience sustained orgasmic experiences, as well as multiple orgasms.”
bedroom specifically. "People get bored in the bedroom
because they have a limited view of what sexuality and sex is all about", says Dr. Cristina Bosch and Dr. John Robinson, The Sex Docs and owners of The Hormone Zone.
Erotic intimacy makes or breaks relationships
"If you believe that great intimate experiences are only about how hard you can do it, then you are missing out on the multiple layers of joy, happiness, and fulfilment that can develop in any good relationship with a smarter approach." Instead, try slowing things down and go for something new – again, it doesn't have to be complicated. The secret to feeling like a new couple might just be
The key point is that both men and women can have orgasms without discharge.
The most intriguing aspect here is that there is no loss of erection if a man has an orgasm without discharge. It's the discharge, not the orgasm, that dumps the hormones into a man’s bloodstream that causes de-tumescence.
Extending the duration of the arousal (or “plateau”) phase increases the duration and intensity of the orgasm and may significantly change the way the orgasm is perceived. The results are presented in one slot of our program we
do with organizations or couples. Real world examples of success when men do not discharge. At the recent TED Conference, we spoke with a successful entrepreneur based in Geneva who runs a training company. He told us:
“I made the most money and progressed my career the most when I learned how to orgasm without discharge.’
Nutrition matters in erotic continence
The combination of no discharge and healthy nutrition is especially powerful, as a highly effective practice that already raises your productivity and puts you in a high energy metabolic mode. It takes some discipline to do this, obviously.
A Taoist recommendation for women says: “A woman’s
body uses her orgasm to nourish her body and stimulate
Learning to work with inner energy is a major step forward. For starters, we're not talking about celibacy or turning into a monk. We're talking about having an active intimate life in a couple relationship based on love, integration, transfiguration, erotic continence, and dignity
This can also work if you choose celibacy – you need to understand how to practice transmutation and sublimation of energies. For the average man, the effect of no discharge requires a profound understanding of the value of semen conservation. The benefits of the practice are rapidly experienced by both (woman and man). More vitality, more power, more enthusiasm, and more of positivity.
Even a new position, a new approach, or a new attitude can help you see your intimate life in a totally different way. So, to keep the spark alive, try something that feels fresh. Whether it's a new approach (like erotic continence), a new location, or just a new adventure, you might find that your intimate life feels the benefits.
The productive time of this energy is several hours if you practice the specific techniques. After the initial intimate experience, your performance increases regularly for about 3 weeks then levels out and sustains as long as your
vital life qi. She is the receiver (yin) of her partner’s (yang) qi and vice-versa” (without discharge – referring to the subtle energies from intimate interaction). Better yet, women increase their emotional intelligence (EQ) when
OPTIONS
practice again. Fig 57 Men and Women: Options vs Criteria
they have more frequent orgasms. Recent research from New Scientist explore how female orgasm unlocks altered consciousness. (fig 58)
There is also John Gray's recent work on how oxytocin, the "happy hormone" is formed in women – and orgasm is one of the ways. The pathways are different for men, although men obviously use oxytocin too. We’ve come across to two women entrepreneurs who have mentioned having massive, life-changing bursts of energy and confidence when they increased their orgasm frequency (without discharge).
Something else happens to men too – their pheromones change. Do not be surprised if your partner – and women you meet randomly – find you more attractive than usual. It’s biochemistry. One study (Barry R. Komisaruk, Beverly Whipple, 2004) on women found that as many as 30 areas
of the brain are active leading up to and after orgasm.
Not only do chemical changes in the brain make the experience more pleasurable, but they also have evolutionary value, according to Jason Krellman, PhD, ABPP, a neuropsychologist and Assistant Professor of Neuropsychology at Columbia University Medical Center.
KEY INSIGHT
BEST DEVELOPMENT OF YOUR CHARISMA HAPPENS IN
YOUR PERSONAL LIFE.
Drafted on June 2016, after the 13th Congress of the European Federation of Sexology, Dubrovnik, Croatia
JUDGEMENT
1x
MOVEMENT
1x
SENSATION
1x
JUDGEMENT
4x
MOVEMENT
4x
SENSATION
4x
PAIN
1x
REWARD
1x
MEMORY
1x
VISION
1x
COORDINATION
1x
PAIN
4x
REWARD
4x
MEMORY
4x
4x
VISION
COORDINATION
4x
A human being with no regular intimate experiences is activating brain areas at a pace of 1x
A human being with regular intimate experiences is activating all brain areas at a pace of 4x
Fig. 58 Intimate experiences add years to your life. Creativity, strategy, and linearity light up, and you’re able to have more energy, and more productivity when you are having a regular intimate life.
ESSENTIAL BENEFITS OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY
20 reasons to have private intimate experiences using the Superior Intimacy model
”Intimate experiences in a long-lasting relationship can deepen and become a richer experience. No matter how many times you have made love to each other, the
such ecstasy, that for a few seconds, the rest of the world ceases to exist. But get it wrong and pain, frustration, or dull nothingness can ensue.
wonder and awe of mutual attraction can still be there.“
Sheri Stritof,The Everything Great Marriage Book
“The similarities between men and women at orgasm
are far greater than the differences.”
”God gave us the senses to let us feel the love in
everyone’s heart, not the illusions brought about by wealth.The wealth I have won in my life I cannot
bring with me.What I can bring is only the memories precipitated by love.Those are the true riches, which will follow you, accompany you, giving you strength and light to go on. Love can travel a thousand miles. Life has no limit. Reach the height you want to reach. It is all in your heart and in your hands.“
Steve Jobs
The most formidable experience of a human being
Erotic pleasure should not be reduced to an intense, but short sensation followed by a state of depletion and tiredness. The human body is such an elaborated and brilliantly constructed ‘machinery’, it’s sexual apparatus and function is so complex that it can not be only about procreation and one (or two)short discharges.
“We are able to go to the moon, but we do not understand enough about our own bodies.” Emmanuele Jannini, University of Rome, Tor Vergata
D. Salinger once wrote that “a woman’s body is like a violin; it takes a terrific musician to play it right”. Pressed or caressed the right way, a woman can be transported to
Barry Komisaruk, Professor, Rutgers University, says:
“What we see is an overall activation of the brain; basically it’s like all systems go.”
It harmonizes the body structure rapidly and naturally. An erotic act realized with continence, in addition to the fact that it is extremely pleasant, is the equivalent of an hour of tennis or 45 minutes of jogging. Moreover, the “anti-stress” molecules (endorphins), which are produced by secretion through prolonged erotic pleasure, can calm down, as if through magic, bulimia crisis. This way you can add up to your jogging routine or the monotonous losing weight diets, or even replace them with frenetic lovemaking with continence.
It stimulates the blood. From 15 breathing movements per minute at rest, during lovemaking with continence, because of excitation,the body can reach up to 30 breathing movements and is more irrigated and oxygenated. All carbonic gas residues are burnt rapidly this way and the blood is regenerated naturally. Only 15’ of lovemaking with continence equalizes 75’ of jogging.
4. Adjusts the menstruation naturally and simultaneously diminishes the length a lot, reducing it to 1 day or 2. In the case of women, an erotically reduced life, one, which
is disorganized, and without continence, often translates to irregular and very long menstruation (6-7 days) with large quantities of fluid loss as well as big pain. On the contrary, the erotic act realized always through continence provides a hormonal balance, which implicitly adjusts menstruation naturally.
On the other hand, studies shown that women who have tens of multiple and prolonged orgasms, without discharge secrete a high quantity of endorphins and have shorter periods, which become more regular and painless.
In the case of advanced practitioners, menstruation can be suspended up to 3 or 4 months in a row. Consequently, the woman feels more energetic, happy and charismatic.
But the same happens for women as well. These extraordinary tranquillizing, peaceful, and revitalizing effects are induced by endorphins.
It diminishes and even makes anxiety disappear in a short time. At the origin of these accomplishments lies the massive secretion of endorphins, which appear in the moment of orgasms without discharge (ejaculation).
At the reflex level, touching manifests a real power of relaxation. The fact of making plenary and frantically love with continence allows among other things, the rapid elimination of tension in the muscles, nervous or psychic system.
It naturally stimulates blood circulation. During the
erotic excitement, the blood flow increases considerably
It accelerates digestion. The profound and extensive contraction of the abdominal muscles during the erotic act realized with continence induces a complex abdominal massage, from the surface to the inside, which among other things aids the digestive process.
It naturally tones up the abdominal muscles. Making love intensely with continence, often and for a long period, puts the abdominal muscles pleasantly and naturally into action. The diaphragm is mainly responsible for this.
Being placed between the abdominal belt and lungs, this important muscle contracts rhythmically and harmoniously under the effect of accelerated breathing and thus puts the abdominal muscles into action. Erotic continence awakens in us some special qualities rapidly, among which are: a lack of stress, profound relaxation, high-spirit, euphoria and a sense of humour.
Improves sleep and naturally shortens sleep time. It is known that generally, prolonged pleasure is an excellent sedative for men.
in the erogenous areas as well as throughout the rest of the body. The arteries relax more easily.
The intense state that appears causes the arteries to dilate gradually, thus preparing a state of general well-being and happiness. In the classical medical model, sexual energy builds up, then it is lost.
In the smart eroticism model, energy is not lost but gained. Instead of using a partner for one’s own gratification, partners practicing Superior Intimacy provide to each other with vital energy. There are scientific reasons why erotic intimate experiences can evoke feelings of spirituality.
The main reason appears to be that the hormones released during intimate experiences and those released during spiritual experiences are similar. “To look at the scientific relationship between physiological and hormonal changes that are happening in both sexual and spiritual contexts, we see a fairly high degree of overlap”, appreciates Markie Twist, PhD:
He continues: “The chemical experiences people have when living a spiritual or sexual experience are almost the same physiologically.” 2 of the hormones Twist is referring to are dopamine and oxytocin. People who value spirituality tend to produce more dopamine, and good intimate erotic experiences release dopamine and produce more oxytocin, a bonding hormone that makes people feel closer.
Jessica Graham recommends practicing mindfulness to make erotic intimate experiences more spiritual. This means consciously placing your attention on specific
11. It naturally balances the thyroid profoundly and for long periods of time. When the hypophysis (or pituitary gland) is “excited” and generates pleasure, the activity of the thyroid is adjusted naturally because of intense and prolonged pleasure.
It's known that, when the thyroid functions above the normal level, people are agitated, anxious, and experience a loss of vitality. When the thyroid is functioning below the normal level people may begin to tremble and are confronted with an abnormal increase in weight combined with a reduction in our libido.
sensations and then extending it out to your partner’s
sensations.
The high inner energy created facilitates and helps the
process of mental concentration. “Really see, hear, taste, touch your partner (…) Stay present
for all of it. Look into your partner's eyes. Connect. Soon a kind of sacred merging can begin to occur. "
Before you know it, you may begin to recognize that there is no separation between the two of you. This feeling of oneness is a deep spiritual insight which will spread out into your life in all kinds of wonderful ways.”
10. It naturally fights against pains and physical sufferings. The extremely high erotic pleasure felt during the erotic act realized with continence permits the tolerance threshold for pain or suffering to be transcended.
It was noticed that after a woman attains orgasm 5 to 10 times without discharge, she is, for example, less sensitive to the sting of an injection than before, for up to 5 days after this.
A profound anaesthetizing effect appears and in many cases, this tolerance threshold can increase up to 70 minutes at 2 hours after lovemaking with complete erotic continence.
12. It awakens and develops the positive "stress".The little
glands situated above the kidneys, the adrenal glands (also known as supra-renal) are stimulated harmoniously by the hypophysis (or pituitary gland) during the erotic act realized with continence and thus produce the hormones of positive "stress". The first of these hormones, the adrenaline, is the one that excites the senses promptly and powerfully during fleshly love.
Less known hormones, such as the cortisone, allows us to defend simply and quickly. The adrenal glands also secrete hormones for desire, which are known as androgens. In one word, all the ingredients that are necessary for an intimate quality relation are richly secreted, resulting in love-making that can last for hours with many dry orgasms (without discharge).
It naturally hydrates the skin. The intense and prolonged pleasure increases the production of the estrogen hormones (sexual feminine hormones), which have as an effect better irrigation of the skin, allowing it
to be shinier, elastic and fit as well as presenting a higher quantity of collagen.
It naturally maintains and improves memory.
These neurotransmitters naturally energize the brain and the blood, triggering an euphoric dynamism that is “contaminating” for most of the people that we come close to.
Being the command centre of the hormonal system, the
hypothalamus is also the centre of the memory units.
A study conducted among yogis in India demonstrated that prolonged intense erotic love-making with continence awaken, assist, and amplifies certain mental processes, such as memory.
It is the best method of contraception, and is perfectly natural. The intense and prolonged erotic act that is realized only with continence entails indefinite and complete suspension of discharge and thus it is a perfectly natural and very safe contraceptive method.
It trains the heart in a harmonious and natural way.
From an average of 70-80 beats per minute during the state of rest, the cardiac rhythm increases gradually during the lovemaking fusion realized with continence up to 100-120 beats per minute in the plateau phase (excitement period).
At the moment of orgasm without discharge, the cardiac rhythm attains a level of 110-130 beats per minute – a very good natural process of cardio training.
It amplifies the sense of humour and awakens good spirit. The overwhelming euphoria that appears and is maintained for days after the erotic act with continence is explained among other things by the conjugated action of two neurotransmitters: serotonin and dopamine, which are secreted by the hypophysis (or pituitary gland), under the influence of an intense and prolonged pleasure.
It profoundly relaxes the muscles When the skin is touched and caressed in a very agreeable way it produces an intense stimulation that passes first through the skin, then through specific connections in the nervous system, reaching the motor centre of the spine and brain. With the help of the central nervous system, this beneficial stimulation is transmitted shortly to the muscles that then become profoundly relaxed.
It improves the states that appear in pregnancy. It increases the blood circulation in the pregnant woman's body, which is already inundated by hormones, especially in the first months of pregnancy, in particular in the lower part of the abdomen, which enhances the erotic response.
KEY INSIGHT
THE EXPERIENCE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY OFFERS MORE
THAN WHAT IS WRITTEN ABOVE.
Written after an workshop wrap-up with a group of executives in Lausanne, Switzerland, 2017
POTENTIAL BENEFITS
SPIRITUAL MENTAL
INTUITIVE
Equality in Spirit, Detachment,Wisdom, Profound Understanding, Elevated Consciousness,Transcendence, Self Sacrifice, Spiritual Force,Wisdom, Lucidity
Intelligence,Attention, Mental Concentration, Superior Will, Memory, Fast Learning, Power to Analysis and Synthesis,Truth, Discernment
Purity, Elevation, Brilliancy, Beauty, Harmony, Superior Sensibility,Aspiration to Know, Intuition
Systematic Practice of
Superior Intimacy
HEART
VOLITIVE
SOCIAL VITAL
Empathy, Common Sense, Love, Kindness, Honesty, Dignity, Self-Awareness, Altruism, Gentleness, Forgiveness, Humbleness, Dedication,Transfiguration, Fidelity, Simplicity, Renunciation, Recognition, Freedom, Sacrifice Power, Tenderness, Friendship
Enthusiasm, Dynamism, Initiative, Self-confidence,Will-Power, Optimism, Self- Control, Independence, Efficiency, Effort Capacity, Heroism, Good-will, Boldness, Humour, Generosity, Responsibility, Nerve, Justice
Creativity, Sensibility, Magnetism,Adaptability, Diplomacy,Tact,Tolerance, Sophistication,Virility, Collaborative Style, Engagement, Charisma
Stability,Tenacity, Power, Constance, Resoluteness, Courage, Perseverance, Consistency
Fig. 59 A state is a temporary way of being, but a trait is a long-term characteristic that remains after the original impulse that caused it.These are key essential benefits that can be experienced in time through persevering practice of the Superior Intimacy model.
BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATIONS: HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE
There is compelling evidence that biological transmutations are a real scientific fact
Published with the agreement of the paper author -Mr Jean-Paul Biberian, Aix-Marseille University, 13288 Marseille, France
„If we are to achieve results never before accomplished, we must expect to employ methods never before attempted.”
Francis Bacon
“He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes. He who does not ask a question is a fool forever.”
Anonymous
Abstract
In this review paper, it is shown that in biological systems, chemical elements can be transmuted into other elements.These facts have been established since the early 19th century, but they have been ignored by established science ever since.
The purpose of this work is to show how during the past two centuries, a number of experimentalists have questioned the mass conservation law established by Antoine Lavoisier [1] for chemical reactions. They have proved experimentally in plants, bacteria and other living organisms, some elements are transmuted into other elements.
Introduction
The discovery of Cold Fusion in 1989 by Stan Pons and Martin Fleischmann [2] has triggered new attention in the field of biological transmutations. Even though experiments have shown that transmutations of elements occur in living cells, this field has been totally ignored by the scientific community. The situation is not different now, but recently new experiments, in particular, by
Vysotskii and Kornilova [3] have brought new results using modern analytical techniques. It is interesting to recall the situation of chemistry before Lavoisier, which was the time of alchemy, when the modern scientific method had not yet been developed. Also the nature of the elements had not been clearly identified.
Most of the works come directly from Herzelee’s experi- ments. They triggered the experiments made by Barang-
er, Kervran, Goldfein, Holleman, and then Vysotskii.
Many experimental results described in this paper are not of a good quality because they have been performed in the 19th century or in the early 20th century, and the full data are not easily available. Some are coming from a secondary source, and therefore are less reliable.
However,if we consider the totality of these data,including the most modern ones, there is compelling evidence that biological transmutations are a real scientific fact. Very few theoreticians have tried to understand the possible mechanisms involved in these kinds of reactions, and it is more likely to take a long time before a reliable theory can be developed.
One of the reasons is the lack of useful data where all elements before and after are well known to the scientists. In this review, I also recall some of the works that I have performed myself [4] with germinating seeds and bacteria.
Before Lavoisier
Jan Baptist von Helmont (1579–1644)
The work by von Helmont [5] in the 17th century is probably the first experiment that tried to study the workings of plants. He wanted to prove that the alchemical theory of the four elements was incorrect. He grew a willow tree in a clay vessel with 90 kg of dried soil.
He covered the vessel with an iron cover having small holes. In his report, he explained that he did not take into account either falling leaves or dust. For 5 years, he watered the plant with filtered rainwater or if necessary with distilled water. He observed that the tree had gained 76 kg, whereas after drying the soil had only lost 57 g. He concluded:
beheaded because of his function as “fermier général”,
i.e. an unpopular tax collector of the old regime. It is also interesting to note his inventions of an accurate ice calorimeter to measure the heat of respiration of a guinea pig, proving that breathing is actually a combustion process. Landolt [6] has confirmed the mass conservation during chemical reactions with better accuracy in 1908 with an accuracy of one part in 106, and later in 1913 by Manly [7] with one part in 108.
During the 19th Century
Johann Christian Carl Schrader (1762–1826)
From 1795 to 1797, the Berlin Academy of Science announced a competition with the following aim: “Of which types of the earthly materials, which are encountered by means of chemical analysis, of native
grain species? Do they either come into the grains as they
“Water alone had, therefore, been sufficient to produce 76 kg of wood, bark, and roots”.
Von Helmont proved that the elements of water and earth were not elementary, since water had changed into wood, bark and roots. This experiment proved that the elements of water could change into elements of soil.
3. ANTOINE LAVOISIER (1743–1794)
In 1789, the famous French scientist Antoine Lavoisier [1] performed very accurate experiments showing conservation of mass during chemical reactions. He wrote: “We can state as an indisputable axiom that under all conditions, artificial or natural, nothing is created; an equal quantity of matter exists before and after the experiment and nothing occurs outside the changes and modifications in the combinations of the elements”. Unfortunately, for him and science, he was
are found or come into being by means of the life force and brought into growth by the workings of the plant?”
In 1799, the German scientist Schrader [8] won the competition for his experiments on the formation of minerals in grains. He used the seeds of wheat, barley, and rye, amongst others, to germinate in an artificial medium of flowers of sulphur (amorphous sulfur in fine powder) (that was shown to be completely ash free) and watered with distilled water.
The dust contamination was prevented during the experiments. From the analyses of the developed seedlings, he compared with the seeds which are planted, he concluded that the mineral matter had indeed been created.
Henri Braconnot (1780–1855)
In 1807, the highly reputable French scientist Henri Braconnot [9] reproduced Schrader’s experiments. He
allowed plants from seed to grow on different artificial media (flowers of sulphur, red lead oxide, granulated lead, pure river sand, and even an organic product;,decomposed wood that was extracted using hot water). He concluded that considerable formation of the mineral components, especially potassium in experiments with mustard seed and radish, had taken place.
Louis Nicolas Vauquelin (1763–1814)
In 1799, the French chemist Louis Vauquelin [10] became intrigued by the quantity of lime which hens excrete every day. He isolated a hen and feed it a pound of oats, which were analyzed for lime (CaO). Vauquelin analyzed the eggs and faeces and found that five times more calcium was excreted than was consumed. He observed, not only the increase of calcium but also a subsequent decrease of silicon.
He is certainly the first scientist to have demonstrated the biological transmutation of silicon into calcium. In his conclusion, he remarked that a loss of only 1.274 g of silica cannot account for an increase of 14.118 g of limestone. He concluded that lime had been formed, but could not figure out how it happened. Furthermore, he encouraged other scientists to replicate his experiment.
Albrecht Thaer (1752–1828)
William Prout (1785–1850)
In 1822,the English physiologist,Prout [12] studied chicken eggs in incubation. He found that hatched chicks had more lime (calcium) in their bodies than originally present in the egg, and it was not contributed from the shell.
Wilhelm Augustus Lampadius (1772–1842)
In 1832, Lampadius [13] thought that plants themselves create silicon in plants.
Vogel
In 1844, a German researcher named Vogel planted watercress seeds (Lepidum satirum) in a bell jar in crushed glass in a controlled air environment. They were fed nothing but distilled water, yet when grown they contained more sulphur than had been in the seeds originally.
J.J. Berzelius reported the experiment in his book [14]. Vogel’s answer was that sulphur was not a simple element or that sulphur was introduced from sources unknown.
Choubard
In 1831, Choubard [15] germinated watercress seeds in clean glass vessels and showed that the sprouts contained minerals, which did not previously exist in the seeds.
John Bennet Lawes (1814–1900) and Joseph Henry
Gilbert (1817–1901)
In the 18th century organic reactions were attributed to a “life force”.
Thaer [11] showed that under some circumstances, calcium transforms into silicon. According to him, silicon could come from potassium. Under certain circumstances calcium in the plant became changed into silicon, whilst this substance may itself be formed from potassium
In 1856–1873, 2 British researchers, Lawes and Gilbert, observed an inexplicable variation in the amount of magnesium in the ashes of plants.
They could “extract” more elements from the soil than the soil actually contained in the first place, in particular the formation of magnesium in grass.
Albrecht Von Herzeele(1821–?)
In 1876 Herzeele [16], a German pharmacist published a series of books in which he showed research proving that plants continuously create material elements. From 1875 to 1883, in Berlin, he conducted 500 analyses with different types of seeds.
He worked with: clover, crimson, vetch, rapeseed, barley, watercress, bean, white beans, kidney beans, turnips, rye, peas lupine, colts-foot, and angelica.
A typical experiment showed the variation of calcium, potassium and phosphorus in Vicia sativa during germination with or without addition of mineral salts in distilled water.
Also, he showed that the addition of various calcium salts to the medium increased the formation of potassium. The addition of K2CO3, increased the formation of calcium.
He concluded that “Plants are capable of affecting the transmutation of elements”.
His publications outraged so much the scientific community of the time that they were removed from libraries.
His writings were lost for more than 50 years until about ca.1930, when a collection was found by accident in Berlin by Dr. Hauschka, who subsequently published Von Herzeele’s findings (the philosopher W.H. Preuss had dedicated an article to him; Preuss defended the idea that inorganic nature was a product of the organic; Herzeele was in agreement, apparently inspired by Goethe).
During the 20th Century
Freudler
Freudler was a Professor at the famous French University, La Sorbonne. In 1928, he published a book based on his 10 years of research on the production of iodine by algae. He noticed a connection between tin and granite in which the algae produced and iodine in the plants.
Earle Augustus Spessard
In 1940, Spessard [17] performed an experiment in which an organic process was studied in a hermetically sealed container. The bottles were weighed after some years. At the end, living protozoa were still seen through the glass walls. Presumably plant assimilation and animal respiration followed each other more or less in balance.
There was a weight increase of a few tenths of a milligram (with a balance accuracy of 0.02 mg). Sources of errors, so far as they were known, were carefully eliminated. The predicted continuation of this work did not appear. The increase in weight that was found was far too big to be considered as a “materialization” of the received light rays.
Rudolph Steiner (1861–1925)
Rudolph Steiner [18] in 1924 gave a series of lectures giving indications for the development of a new approach to agriculture that later became known as biodynamics.
In the 5th series of his lectures, he referred to composting, he stated “even according to the purely external standards of analytical chemistry, this ought to betray the fact that there is a kinship between the way in which oxygen and nitrogen are connected in the air and that in which lime and hydrogen are connected in organic processes.
Under the influence of hydrogen, lime, and potash are constantly being changed into nitrogenous matter, and finally into actual nitrogen. And the nitrogen, which has come into being in this way, has a tremendous value for plant growth.
Silicic acid, as we know, contains silicon and this in turn undergoes transmutation in the living organism.
It is changed into a substance which is of exceptional importance but which is not reckoned by present-day science to be among the elements.”
Henri Spindler
In 1946–1947, the French Scientist and Director of the Laboratoire Maritime de Dinard, Spindler [19] discovered Herzeele’s work on the decrease of phosphorus and increase of calcium. In 1959, he measured an increase of iodine by 30% in algae, Laminaria flexicaulis and 80– 100% in Laminaria sacharina.
Rudolf Hauschka (1891–1969)
An Austrian chemist, Hauschka [20] during the years 1934–1940, in sealed glass containers, weighed cress seeds, and found an increase in weight of 0.54% during the full moon, and a decrease of 0.58% during the new moon. He published several books in which he re-evaluated Herzelee’s work, which he included as appendix in his books, Substanzlehre (though it has not been included in the English translation, The Nature of Substances).
Perrault
French scientist Perrault [21], from the Paris University, found that the hormone aldosterone provoked a transmutation of Na to K, which could be fatal to a patient.
Julien
Julien [22] was a French Scientist, from the Besançon University. In 1959, he proved that if tench are put in water containing 14% NaCl, their production of KCl increased by 36% within 4 h.
5.8. George 0shawa (1893–1966)
Oshawa [23] was a Japanese scientist, and an inventor of macrobiotics. He collaborated with Louis Kervran. His opinion was that transmutation occurs during mastication.
Pierre Baranger (1900–1970)
Pierre Baranger was a French Scientist, a professor of organic chemistry at the famous Ecole Polytechnique, and head of the Laboratory of Chemical Biology. He became intrigued with Herzeele’s experiments, but he thought that the number of trials had been too limited and the precautions against error were insufficient.
Baranger decided to repeat the experiments with all possible precautions and a very large number of cases, which would allow a statistical study. His research project from 1950 to 1970 involved thousands of analyses. Baranger verified the content of phosphorus, potassium, calcium and iron of vetch seeds before and after germination in twice-distilled water to which pure calcium chloride was not added.
Hundreds of samples of 7–10 g each were selected, weighed to 1/100th milligram, and graded, then germinated in a controlled environment. Baranger found an increase of 4.2% in calcium, and 8.3% of iron, and subsequently a decrease in phosphorus of 1.9%, and of potassium of 1.1%. Interestingly, an addition of MnCl2 increases the amount of iron produced.
None of the specialists who examined Baranger’s work were able to find any experimental errors. Baranger concluded:
broad knowledge of plants, geology, and nuclear science. His findings have been published in French in 10 books [26], some of them have been translated into English
[27]. He was also nominated for the Nobel Prize.
“These results, obtained by taking all possible precau- tions, confirm the general conclusions proposed by Von Herzeele and lead one to think that under certain condi- tions the plants are capable of forming elements, which did not exist before in the external environment”.
Observations
From 1935 Kervran [28] collected facts and performed experiments, which showed that transmutations of chemical elements do indeed occur in living organisms. It
started when he investigated fatal accidents from carbon
In May 1959, he submitted an article for publication in the French Academy of Sciences, but was not accepted. Later in 1972, his family tried another submission without success. He had difficulties in publishing his findings, and died without being able to do so.
Later, in 1977, his family asked Jean Marie Gatheron, a close friend of Baranger to publish Baranger’s work [24]. In 1976, his family submitted the final report of Baranger to the Academic Commission of the French Academy
monoxide poisoning when none was detectable in the air.
Next he analysed why Sahara oilfield workers excreted a daily average of 320 mg more calcium than they ingested without de-calcification occurring. Kervran pointed out that the ground in Brittany contained no calcium; however, every day a hen would lay a perfectly normal egg, with a perfectly normal shell containing calcium. The hens eagerly pecked mica from the soil, and mica contains potassium.
of Agriculture. It was decided that the work would be
presented to the full assembly in a secret meeting. The proposal of publication in a public meeting was rejected without any reason. Baranger failed to provide relevant theory to explain his findings.
Leendert Willem Jacob Holleman (1906–1994)
From 1975 to 1989 Holleman [25], a Deutch scientist, performed experiments with alga Chlorella. He observed a decrease, then subsequent increase, of potassium. However, in spite of several attempts, he could not reproduce his own first positive experiments.
Correntin Louis Kervran (1901–1983)
Kervran is certainly the most well-known scientist having worked in the field of biological transmutations. He had a
It appears that the hens may transmute some of the
potassium into calcium.
Experiments with seeds
From 1960 to 1980, Kervran reported the astounding results of his research showing that living plants were able to accomplish limited transmutation of elements.
Then Kervran was the Conferences Director of the University of Paris, and his first paper was published in La Revue Générale Des Sciences, July 1960. Kervran found that in nuclido-biological reactions, oxygen is always in the form of O, never O2; reactions with nitrogen occur only with N2, insofar as is known.The following reactions have been proposed:
Na23 + H1 Mg24 Na23 + O16 K39 Na23 – O16 Li7 Na23 Li7 + O16 K39 + H1 Ca40 Mg24 + Li7 P31 Mg24 + O16 Ca40 F19 + O16 Cl35 C12 + Li7 F19 Cl35 C12 + Na23 Fe56– H1 Mn55 2 O16 – H1 P31 O16 + O16 S32 2 N14 C12 + O16 N14 + Mg12 K19 Si28 + C12 Ca40 Si28 + C12 Ca40 P31 + H1 S32
In 1980, Kevran [29] performed an experiment with oat seeds analysed using mass spectroscopy. They looked at phosphorus and calcium variations and observed:
It is clear that the calcium increased with germination, whereas phosphorus decreased. There are certainly other elements that played a role, but they were not analysed in this experiment.
The French Society of Agriculture
In 1971, the laboratory of the French Society of Agriculture
sprouted rye seeds under controlled conditions.
In October 7, 1970, Stéphane Henin on one side and Léon Guéguen and Allez on the other side sent reports to the Academy by criticizing Kervran’s results [30].
J.E. Zündel
Zündel [31] was a Swiss scientist, head of a paper company, and a chemical engineer at the Polytechnic School of Zurich (ETH Zurich) in Switzerland. Following Kervran’s observations from 1970, he studied germinating seeds and observed a 54–616% increase of calcium.
In another experiment, he grew 150 oats seeds (flämingkrone) in a controlled environment for 6 weeks. 1243 sprouts were analysed using atomic absorption spectroscopy for the presence of magnesium and calcium.
The potassium decreased by 0.033%, the calcium increased by 0.032%, and magnesium decreased by 0.007%. The variation of magnesium was not significant, but the decrease in potassium balanced the increase of calcium.
In 1971, he gave a lecture at the French Academy of Agriculture (Bull No. 4, 1972). In his lecture, he announced the following variations between seeds and sprouts:
These results are in good agreement with Kervran’s previous findings. Kervran was very active in promoting his work through books, conferences, and mass media. However, the Academy of Agriculture strongly opposed his efforts.
In 1972 with oat seeds, he observed an increase of calcium of 118%, a decrease of magnesium of 23%, and potassium 29%. In spite of the excellent quality of his works, the audience criticized him, including S. Henin, the head of the Department of Agronomy.
Later in 1979, Zündel, using a mass spectrometer at the Microanalysis Laboratory of the French National Scientific Research Center, and neutron activation analysis at the Swiss Institute for Nuclear Research in Villigen (Aargau), confirmed the increase of calcium by 61%.
There was also an increase of 29% in phosphorus and 36% in sulphur) [32]. However, the French Atomic Energy Commission has analysed Zündel’s experiments in 1975 by neutron activation analysis of oat seeds. They found no change in calcium, sodium and manganese, but only a small decrease of potassium, also no isotopic variation in Ca48 and K41.
Hisatoki Komaki
Following Kervran’s work in 1970–1980, Komaki [33] from the Biological and Agricultural Research Institute studied the development of bacteria, mould, and yeast.
Among those: Aspergillus niger,Penicillum chrysogenum, Rhizopus nigricans, Mucor rouxii, Saccharomyces cerevisiae, Torulopsis utilis, Saccharomyces ellipsoideus, and Hansenula anomala. Komaki reported that eight strains of micro-organisms grown in potassium deficient culture media increased the total of potassium by transmutation of calcium to potassium.
He also showed that phosphorus can be formed by the fusion of nitrogen and oxygen: N + O2 He even marketed a brewer’s yeast product that, when applied to composts, increases their potassium content.
PRESENT TIMES
Panos T. Pappas
In 1998, Pappas [34] published an article suggesting that biological transmutation occurs as a form of cold fusion in the cellular membrane sodium–potassium pump.
According to Pappas, the ions are not pumped back and forth through the membrane, but instead transmute back and forth between Na and K.
Jean-Paul Biberian
Experiments were performed with seeds: wheat and oats as well as bacteria: Marine bacteria (Marinobacter sp strain CAB) and Lactobacilius [4]. In most of the experiments, variations in the concentration of minerals have been observed. In particular, it is interesting to note that when the seeds grew, heavy metals decrease in large amounts.
Even though these results are only preliminary, they confirm the observations made by others, in particular
Kervran.
Vladimir Vysotskii
Vysotskii is a scientist from Ukraine. He started working on biological transmutations in the 1990s. He is well known for using modern analytical techniques. In particular, he used Mossbauer spectroscopy, very sensitive to Fe57, to measure its production.
In natural iron, Fe57 represents only 2.2% of the total. The main isotope of iron is Fe56, which represents 91.7%. Measuring Fe57 is also very easy by mass spectroscopy, since there is no possible interference with another element. The proposed transmutation is
Mn55 + D2 Fe57.
The experiments conducted by Vysotskii and Kornilova [3] were performed with bacteria capable of developing in heavy water. They chose Bacillus subtilis, Escherichia coli, and Deinococcus radiodurans, as well as a yeast culture Saccharomyces cerevisiae.
When manganese was introduced with MnSO4, a clear spectrum was measured, indicating that manganese had been transmuted into iron. The authors analysed the material by time-of-flight mass spectroscopy showing that the mass 57 peak was as large as that of mass 56.
This is another confirmation of the production of Fe57. Vysotskii and Kornilova have also analysed another reaction:
Na23 + P31 Fe54.
In natural iron, Fe54 represents only 5.8%. The bacteria developed in a medium without iron, and after development they measured Fe54 as large as Fe56. In similar experiments, they observed the following reaction
Cs133 + H1 Ba134.
In experiments destined to reducing radioactivity, they conducted experiments with synthetic microbiological cultures, which were up to 20 times more effective than the standard microbiological cultures. It was shown that Ba140, which is radioactive with a half-life of 12 days, transforms into Sm152, which is stable with the possible following reaction:
Ba140 + C12 Sm152.
Interestingly, Cs137, which is radioactive with a half- lifetime of 30 years, transmutes into Ba138, which has a much shorter lifetime of 310 days.
Cs137 + H1 Ba138.
This work is certainly the best proof of biological transmutations.
Edwin Engel, Rudolf Gruber
In 2006, Engel and Gruber [35] from Germany wished to confirm Kervran and Baranger’s works. They showed
that during germination, manganese transmutes into iron. They used mung beans sprouted in MnCl2. They showed an increase of iron. They assumed the following reaction
Mn55 + H1 Fe56.
NEGATIVE EXPERIMENTS
Even though many positive experiments have been performed by indicating the reality of the phenomenon of biological transmutations, several experiments contradict these findings. 20 Jean-Paul Biberian / Journal of Condensed Matter Nuclear Science 7 (2012) 11–25
Nicolas Théodore de Saussure (1767–1845)
In 1804, de Saussure published his work: “Recherches chimiques sur la végétation”, Nyon, Paris (Chemical Researches on Végétation). As a follower of Lavoisier, Saussure stood strongly with the standpoint of the conservation of matter and referred all transmutations and creation to the realm of fables.
He puts special emphasis on the necessity of this field to be absolutely certain, with experiments, that the so- called created matter was not already present in the environment.
So, he demonstrated, for example, that the presence of silicates in plants, which were attributed to the life-force by Lampadius, was in reality determined by the amount of silicon present in the soil.
Jean-Louis Lassaigne (1800–1859)
Lassaigne initially worked in the laboratory of Louis- Nicolas Vauquelin. He was a professor at Ecole Vétérinaire d’Alfort. His works were published in 1821 with the germination of grains supported the findings of de
Saussure. His later works on the development of chicks contradicted the results of Vauquelin.
P.E. Jablonski
In 1836, Jablonski found no increase in the amount of ashes in the plants above the one in the seed. Therefore, criticizing Schrader and Braconnot.
Arend Joachim FriedrichWiegmann (1770–1853) and A.L. Polstorff
Wiegmann and Polstorff made the following experiment: They followed the techniques of their predecessors, but with a soil that consisted of the most inert material known to them at that time. They let 28 seeds of garden cress (Lepidium sativum) germinate in distilled water in a platinum crucible that was filled with fine platinum wires.
The crucible was placed under a glass bell jar through which circulated a mixture of 1% carbon dioxide. The seeds germinated and grew into small plants until, after 26 days, they began to die. After drying the crucible and its contents, ashing and weighing obtained 0.0025 g of ash. The weight of the ash obtained from 28 seeds was likewise 0.0025 g. Therefore, there was neither weight change nor new elements formed. However, this conclusion does not contradict previous experiments, since only the weights were compared. No attempt was made to check for the transmutation of one element into another.
M. Emile Rinck
In 1947, Rink checked Hauschka’s work and found only 0.02% weight change.
Léon Guéguin
In 1970, Guéguin from the INRA (The French Institut of Agronomical Research) has shown that there was no transmutation in Kervran’s type experiments.
D.B. Long
Longwas a British scientist, from the Michaelis Nutricional Research laboratory, Harpenden, UK. In 1971, he published a report [36] indicating that he did not observe differences in K, Mg, Ca, Mn, Fe, Zn, and Cu when looking at rye and oat seeds germinated. The table shown below shows his experimental results.
L. Soubiès and R. Gadet
Following Baranger’s work, and his attempts to get his findings accepted by the scientific community, Soubiès and Gadet performed similar experiments with the Baranger’s protocol and a more rigorous one. They presented their results in 1972 in the bulletin of the French Chamber of Agriculture.
They demonstrated that using their better protocol no transmutation is detected, whereas with the original one there is less sodium produced. They proposed that the anomalies were due to diffusion of minerals from the glass used in the experiments.
Horber
In 1976, Horber, a Swiss scientist from Zurich, looked
THEORY
Kervran
at calcium variations by neutron activation analysis. He
found a 2% variation, but with a precision of ±5%.
J.A. Jungerman and Murphy
In February 1977, Professor Jungerman and Murphy from the University of California, Davis reported the results of an experiment: the growth of oat seeds under carefully controlled conditions. Analysis was made by atomic absorption and X-ray fluorescence for Ca and K. They found no evidence of transmutation.
Carolyn E. Damon
In 1978, Damon from the U.S. Customs Technical Service Division conducted tests for biological transmutation with Aspergillus terreus and Rhizopus nigricans, he obtained negative results.
Bernd Franke
In 1978, Franke defended his thesis for States Exam at the Botanical Institute of the University of Heidelberg in Germany, the title of which was: “Critical examination of tests on the transformation of biological elements”. He analysed calcium, magnesium, and potassium during the growth of oats seeds (Avena sativa) and yeast (Sacharomycus cervisiae). He did not find any significant changes in the composition of the seeds and yeast during their analyses.
7.13. Enrico Di Vito, Carla Candian, Luigi Garlaschelli and Antonio Triassi
In 2002, these scientists from Italy failed to replicate Kervran’s work. They looked at the growth of oat seeds (Cultivar Nave). They analysed their products using ICP emission, but found no variation in Ca, Mg, and K in sprouting oat seeds.
Kervran thought that the nuclear reactions that occur in biology were connected to the structure of the nucleus.
He developed a unique model of the nucleus with a design that explains the potential transmutations.
Costa de Beauregard (1911–2007)
Costa de Beauregard [37] was the Research Director at the Centre National de la Recherche Scientifique, Paris, and Professor of Theoretical Physics at the Institut de Physique Théorique Henri Poincaré. He studied Kervran’s works in 1962 and began to correspond and met with him. He suggested that such transmutations neither take place through strong interactions nor through electromagnetic forces, but through the weak interaction.
This takes place through the neutral current of the intermediate vector boson, the so-called Zo, particle. Kervran’s reaction for a biological transmutation from potassium to calcium in germinating oats is thus explained as being initiated by neutrino capture (from cosmic rays) and the weak interaction follows mediated by the Z, neutral current. In 2006, I called Costa de Beauregard at his home in Paris, and asked him if he continued his research. He replied that he did not.
Goldfein
In 1978, an officially funded effort from the U.S. Army Mobility Equipment Research and Development Command, Fort Belvoir,Virginia positively confirmed that mechanisms for elemental transmutations could occur in biological systems. The work was performed under the direction of Emil J. York, Chief of the Material Technology Laboratory.
Solomon Goldfein was the principal investigator for the effort. Robert C. McMillan, Chief of the Radiation Research Group of the laboratory, provided guidance on matters of physics and nuclear physics. The abstract of the final report [38] reads as follows:
“The purpose of the study was to determine whether recent disclosures of elemental transmutations occurring in biological entities have revealed new possible sources of energy. The works of Kervran, Komaki, and others were surveyed, and it was concluded that, granted the existence of such transmutations (Na to Mg, K to Ca, and Mn to Fe), a net surplus of energy was also produced. The proposed mechanism was described in which Mg adenosine triphosphate, located in the mitochondrion of the cell, played a double role as an energy producer.
In addition to the widely accepted biochemical role of Mg-ATP in which it produces energy as it disintegrates part by part, Mg-ATP can also be considered to be a
in living organisms are accompanied by losses in mass representing conversion to thermal energy and that such energy probably is a net gain when compared to the amount required to effect the transmutation.
Conclusions
Lavoisier has established a mass conservation law which is valid in chemistry. Now we know that it is not true when nuclear reactions are involved. The review of more than two centuries of research demonstrates that this is not true in biology.
It appears that all living organisms can under some circumstances produce nuclear reactions. However, there is an important need of finding an adequate theory to explain these results.
It is highly probable that such a theory should also be capable of explaining Cold Fusion, or more generally,
nuclear reactions in condensed matter.
cyclotron on a molecular scale. The Mg-ATP when
placed in layers one atop the other has all the attributes of a cyclotron in accordance with the requirements set forth by E.O. Lawrence, inventor of the cyclotron.”
Another point is the irreproducibility of some experiments. Probably, in order to produce significant transmutation of an element, it is necessary that another
element be missing.
“It was concluded that elemental transmutations
were indeed occurring in life organisms [sic] and were probably accompanied by a net energy gain.”
It seems that nature has a tendency to find ways to
transmute an element into another to provide the
necessary ingredients for the healthy growth of the four
Goldfein postulated a conformational structure of a stack of Mg-ATP molecules forming a helical chain. The Mg- ATP chelate produces oscillating electrical currents,which act as a micro mini-cyclotron that accelerates hydrogen ions to relativistic speeds with sufficient potential to transmute an element to the next higher number. It was concluded that the elemental transmutations occurring
kingdoms of bacteria, fungi, plants, and animals, including human beings.
Historically, the sequence of discoveries in biological transmutation is the following: Vauquelin was the initiator in 1799. Later, Herzelee in 1876–1883 did a lot of research, but his work was removed. Later Hauschka rediscovered Von Herzelee’s work. Baranger and
Kervran discovered this work. As a consequence of their contribution to the field Zündel continued the work as well as Goldfein. Finally Vysotskii knowing the work of Kervran brought an important contribution.
This review shows that biological transmutations deserve a lot of attention from the scientific community. The consequences of this are important for science, medicine, agriculture, and diet. The cost of research in this field is so low compare with other fields that it is unacceptable not to do it.
Studies of the process called cold fusion or Low Energy Nuclear Reactions (LENR) over the past 22 years show that nuclear reactions of various kinds can be initiated in inorganic solid materials under conditions similar to those present during the claimed biological transmutations.
These reactions all have the basic characteristic of producing energy as would be required of a spontaneous reaction. In contrast, many of the proposed nuclear reactions in biological systems cannot result in energy production because mass is not lost in the process. Instead, the mass gain would require the concentration of significant energy from the environment. This violates the basic laws of thermodynamics and makes the suggested reactions impossible.
In addition, the elements involved in the proposed nuclear reaction must have a way to find each other in the same biological structure and experience a reduction in their Coulomb barrier before interaction can occur. These several limitations severely limit possible explanations.
However, these limitations do not make the nuclear reactions impossible, just more of a challenge to explain. The basic question to be answered is do such reactions actually occur in Nature? The evidence strongly indicates
that some of the observed reactions actually occur, requiring an explanation to be found.
Acknowledgements
I wish to thank various people who have helped me in the realization of the biological transmutation experiments: The Holleman Stichting, David Cuthbertson, Valérie Michotey, Jean-Jacques Allegraud, and Pascal Gos.
REFERENCES
[1] A.L. Lavoisier, Traité élémentaire de Chimie, Paris: Cuchet, 1789 (in French).
[2] M. Fleischmann, S. Pons and M. Hawkins, J. Electroanal. Chem. 261 (1989) 301.
[3] V.I. Vysotskii and A.A. Kornilova, Nuclear Transmutationof Stable And Radioactive Isotopes In Biological Systems, PentagonPress, New Delhi, 2010.
[4] J.-P. Biberian, J. Cond. Mat. Nucl. Sci. (to be published).
[5] J.B. van Helmont, Ortus Medicinae (Amsterdam, 1648). Cited in,Wikipedia, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helmont
[6] H. Landolt, Untersuchungen über die fraglichen Änderungen des Gesamtgewichtes chemisch sich umsetzender Korper,Zeitschrift für Physikalische Chemie 64 (1908) 581.
Cited in, http://www.scientificexploration.org/journal/jse_08_2_ volkamer.pdf
[7] J.J. Manley, On the apparent change in weight during chemical reaction, Trans. Roy. Soc. London (A) 212 (1913) 227–260. Cited in, http://www.scientificexploration.org/journal/jse_08_2_volkamer.pdf
[8] C. Schrader, Zwei Preisschriften uber die Beschaffenheitund Erzengung der erdinge Bestandtheile von Getreidearten(Berlin, 1800). Cited in, C.A. Browne, A Source Book of Agricultural Chemistry (1944), p. 221, http://books.google.com/books?id=B8wJAop_ EBUC&pg=PA221. J. H. Muirhead, Contemporary British Philosophy: PersonalStatements, Volume 12 (2005), pp. 289–291, http://books.google.com/books?id=nFvkrC-ADT0C&pg=PA289.
[9] H. Braconnot, Sur la force assimilatrice dans les vegetaux, Annales de Chimie 61 (1807) 187–246. C.A. Browne, A SourceBook of Agricultural Chemistry (1944), p. 221, http://books.google.com/ books?id=B8wJAop_EBUC&pg=PA221.
[10] L.N. Vauquelin, Expériences sur les excréments des poules,
comparés à la nourriture qu’elles prennent, et Réflexions sur laformation de la coquille d’oeuf, Annales de Chimie 29 (30 Nivose VII, 19) (1799) 3–26.
[11] A. Thaer, Grundsätze der rationellen Landwirthschaft [Principles of rational agriculture], Volume 2 (Berlin, 1809–1812), pp.49–50, 56, 107–108, 268. Cited in C.A. Browne, A Source Book of Agricultural Chemistry (1944), pp. 179–181.
[12] W. Prout, Phil. Trans. (1822) 377. Cited in, Needham, Joseph (1931), Chemical Embryology,Volume 3, C.U.P., pp. 1260–1262.
[13] W.A. Lampadius, Erdmann’s J. für technische und ökonomische Chemie 15 (1832) 289–318. Cited in, L.W.J. Holleman,TheBiological Transmutation of Chemical Elements: 2.1 Vitalism at the Beginning of the 19th Century.
[14] J.J. Berzelius, Treatise on Mineral, Plant and Animal Chemistry (Paris, 1849). Cited in, R. A. Nelson, Adept Alchemy, Part II,Chapter 8, Biological Transmutations.
[15] R.A. Nelson, Adept Alchemy, Part II, Chapter 8, Biological Transmutations.
[16] A. Von Herzeele, Uber die Entstehung der anorganischen Stoffe (About The Origin of Inorganic Substances) 1873. A. VonHerzeele, Entstehung der unorganischen Stoffe (Berlin, 1876). A.Von Herzeele, Die vegetabilische Entstehung des Phosphorsund des Schwefels (Berlin, 1880). A. Von Herzeele, Die vegetabilische Entstehung des Kalkes und der Magnesia (Berlin,
1881). A.Von Herzeele,Weitere Beweise für die vegetabilische Entstehung der Magnesia und des Kalis (Berlin,1883).A.VonHerzeele is reprinted in, R. Hauschka, Substanzlehre (Klostermann, Frankfurt am Main, 1942), in German.
[17] E.A. Spessard, Light-mass absorption during photosynthesis, Plant Physiology 15 (1940) 109–120.
[18] R. Steiner, Agriculture Course (1924), http://www.garudabd.org/ Node/23/. Oregon Biodynamics Group, Introduction to Biodynamics (2009), http://www.oregonbd.org/Class/class_menu2.htm
[19] H. Spindler, Etude sur l’iode, Bull. Lab. Maritime de Dinard 28 (Dec. 1946). H. Spindler, Recherches sur le potassium deLaminaria flexicaulis, Bull. Lab. Maritime de Dinard 31 ( June 1948).
[20] R. Hauschka, Substanzlehre (Klostermann, 1st edition, 1942. 12th edition, 2007).
[21] R.A. Nelson, Adept Alchemy, Part II, Chapter 8, Biological Transmutations.
[22] Julien, Annales Scientifiques de l’Universite de Besancon, Series 2 (1959), cited in, R.A. Nelson, Adept Alchemy, Part II,Chapter 8,
Biological Transmutations
[23] L. Kervran and G. Oshawa, Biological Transmutation. Natural Alchemy (George Oshawa Macrobiotic Foundation, Oroville, California, USA 1971, reprinted 1975).
[24] P. Baranger and J.M. Gatheron, Les Plantes opérent-elles des transmutations? Les travaux de Pierre Baranger, M. Baranger (Ed.), 1980.
[25] http://www.holleman.ch/holleman.html.
[26] C.L. Kervran, Transmutations Biologiques: Métabolismes Aberrants de l’Azote, le Potassium et le Magnésium (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1962, 2nd edition 1963, 3rd edition 1965), in French.C.L. Kervran, Transmutations naturelles non radioactives; une propriéte nouvelle de la matière (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1963), in French.
C.L. Kervran, Transmutations à faible énergie: synthèse et développements (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1964), in French.
C.L. Kervran, A la découverte des transmutations biologiques: une explication des phénomènes biologiques aberrants (Le Courrier du livre, Paris, 1966), in French.
C.L. Kervran, Preuves Relatives à l’Existence des Transmutations Biologiques (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1968), in French.
C.L. Kervran, Transmutations biologiques en agronomie (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1970), in French.
C.L. Kervran, Preuves en géologie et physique de transmutations à faible énergie (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1973), in French.
C.L. Kervran, Preuves en biologie de transmutations à faible énergie (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1975, 2nd edition, 1995),in French.
C.L. Kervran, Transmutations Biologique et Physique Moderne (Librairie Maloine S.A., Paris, 1982), in French.
C.L. Kervran and G. Oshawa, “Biological Transmutation: Natural Alchemy” (Georges Oshawa Macrobiotic Foundation, Oroville, California, USA, 1971, reprinted 1975, 1976).
[27] C.L. Kervran, Biological Transmutations (translation and adaptation by Michel Abehsera, Swan House Publishing Co., New York, USA, 1972, reprinted, Happiness Press, 1989), extract of three of Kervran’s books.
C.L. Kervran, Biological transmutations (revised and edited by H. Rosenauer and E. Rosenauer, Crosby Lockwood, London 1972, reprinted by Beekman, NewYork, 1980, 1998).
[28] C.L. Kervran, cited in, Herbert Rosenauer, What are Biological Transmutations, http://ibrainsphere.info/2011/bt-what-are/.
[29] C.L. Kervran, Biological Transmutations and Modern Physics”, unpublished manuscript,
http://www.rexresearch.com/kervran/kervran.htm
[30] See, for example, Léon Guéguen (Paris, le 25 November 2005), http://www.inra.fr/archorales/t12-1-Leon-Gueguen.pdf (in French).
[31] Zündel J. E., cited in, C. L. Kervran, “Biological Transmutations and Modern Physics”
[32] Zündel J. E., ”Transmutation of the Elements in Oats, in The Planetary Association for Clean Energy Newsletter, Volumes 2 and 3, July/August 1980.
[33] H. Komaki, Production de proteines par 29 souches de microorganisms, et augmentation du potassium en milieu de culture, sodique, sans potassium, Revue de Pathologie Comparee 67 (1967) 213–216.
H. Komaki, Formation de proteines et variations minérales par des microorganismes en milieu de culture, avec ou sans potassium, avec ou sans phosphore, Revue de Pathologie Comparee 69 (1969) 83–
88. H. Komaki, Observations on the Biological Cold Fusion or the Biological Transmutation of Elements, in, Frontiers of Cold Fusion, Proceedings of the Third International Conference on Colf Fusion (Universal Academy Press, 1993), pp. 555–558.
H. Komaki, Observations on the biological cold fusion or the biological transformation of elements”, Third International Conference on Cold Fusion, Frontiers of Cold Fusion, Nagoya, Japan (1992), pp. 555–558.
Komaki, An Approach to the Probable Mechanism of the Non- Radioactive Biological Cold Fusion or So-Called Kervran Effect (Part 2), Fourth International Conference on Cold Fusion, Lahaina, Maui, 44-1 to 44-12 (1993).
[34] P.T. Pappas, Seventh International Conference on Cold Fusion, 1998, pp. 460–465.
[35] E. Engel and R. Gruber, Transmutation 55Mn + 1H→56Fe? Oder Eine Anregung, wie man es nicht machen sollte (2006), http://www. kervran-info.de/engrub.htm.
[36] D.B. Long et al., Laboratory report on biological transmutations in germinating plants, the Henry Doubleday Research Association, Braintree, Essex, 1971.
[37] O. Costa de Beauregard, Proc. 3rd Intl Cong. Psych. (Tokyo), 1967, p. 158.
[38] S. Goldfein, Report 2247, Energy Development from Elemental Transmutations in Biological Systems, U S Army Mobility Equipment Research and Development Command, May 1978. DDC No. AD AO56906.
THE QUESTION
Seeds transmute
Chickens transmute
Do people transmute?
PRACTICAL TECHNIQUES – PELVIAN MUSCLES STRENGTHENING
How you do anything is how you do everything
ASWINI MUDRA – contraction of the anus muscles
One of the most efficient methods to learn how to control the pro-creative potential is to practice Aswini Mudra for long periods of time.
This technique is extremely simple and can easily be done in the “dead” times during the day (e.g. while travelling).
Though it seems uncomplicated, Aswini Mudra has complex effects in obtaining control of the procreative potential if practiced for a certain period of time.
Definition – What does Ashwini Mudra mean?
Ashwini mudra is a beginner yoga technique that involves contracting the anal sphincter in a rhythmic way in order to direct prana (life force energy) upward along the spine through the sushumna nadi, or the body's main energy channel.
The name, Ashwini mudra, comes from the Sanskrit, ashwa, meaning “horse,” and mudra, which means “gesture” or “sign.”
Ashwini mudra is often practiced in a comfortable seated posture such as Padmasana (lotus pose), Siddhasana (accomplished pose), Sukhasana (easy pose) or Vajrasana (thunderbolt pose), although it can also be practiced in an inversion, such as Sarvangasana (supported shoulder stand).
How to do Ashwini Mudra?
Sit in a comfortable meditative pose. Sukhasana (easy
pose), Padmasana (lotus pose), Vajrasana (thunderbolt pose), Ardha Padmasana (half lotus pose), etc. are suited. It can be done even while sitting in a chair.
Relax the body and breathe normally.
Contract the anal sphincter muscles and hold it for few seconds.
Release the anal muscles and breathe normally for few seconds.
Repeat this practice for as long as you are comfortable.
To practice Ashwini Mudra from a seated asana, the practitioner inhales and holds the breath, then contracts the sphincter muscles for a second or two, doing 4 (men) or 5 (women) contractions before dropping the chin and exhaling.
Ashwini Mudra with breathing
In this variation, contract the sphincter muscles while breathing in and hold it. While releasing the sphincter muscles, breathe out. Repeat this process for as long as you are comfortable.
Ashwini mudra has multiple physical, emotional, and spiritual benefits, including:
•Stimulates the digestive organs and eases constipation
•Eases hemorrhoids
•Builds resistance to disease and slows aging
•Tones pelvic muscles
•Strengthens the uterine muscles
•Improves sexual health
•Facilitates the control of procreative and substantial potential
•Calms the mind
•Boosts mood
•Increases awareness and energy
Ashwini mudra should not be confused with Mula Bandha and Vajroli mudra which also involves contraction of muscles below the abdominal region.
This mudra (gesture) is very easy to perform and can be done during anytime and by any age group. It is good for improving health of the large intestine and for conserving prana (life force energy).
MULA BANDHA – contraction of the root
The bandhas are specific contractions of the body and manipulations of the organs designed to channel the flow of energy within the body.
In other words, the bandhas are mechanisms by which a practitioner can direct the flow of prana, the universal life-force energy that animates and unites all beings.
This is a basic technique for controlling the procreative and substantial potential and getting a hard erection.
and this secret practice will enrich the couple’s life with new voluptuous sensations, states, and experiences. Mula Bandha is an exercise that could be practiced anywhere, anytime and in any position: sitting, lying, or even while doing the headstand or other body postures.
In the beginning, you will act on the whole pelvic area while contracting these muscles, and in time you will be able to distinguish between the anal muscles and the penile ones.
You will be able to contract them individually, in order to become capable of relaxing them at will. During a discharge, you may observe the discharge spasm propagating and helping you to locate the muscles responsible for discharge.
One of the most efficient procedures in controlling discharge is to relax the sexual muscles when you are close to discharge (the point of no return).
It is essential to learn to relax the muscular complex of the pelvic floor in any position you may be.
In order to do this, breathe calmly, relax the pelvic muscles, the anal muscles, then the rest of the muscles in the area.
Take your time to relax completely, even if in the beginning this may take some minutes.
In time you will be able to relax more quickly, almost instantaneously – fact that will prove a real help during
erotic intimacy.
This technique involves the anal muscles, both internal and external, as well as the “lifting”muscles, situated in the interior of the body. If you are in a state of semi-erection, you may easily observe the effect of those contractions.
Through the action of the “lifting” muscle, the penis may respond to the contractions of the woman’s genitals
KEY LEARNING POINTS
”It is our duty as men and women to proceed as though the limits of our abilities do not exist.”
Pierre Teilhard de
Chardin
”Leadership is one of the most observed and least understood phenomena on earth.“
James Macgregor Burns
“Great questioning, great enlightenment; little questioning, little enlightenment; no questioning, no enlightenment.”
Dogen
Smart eroticism means to engage in intimacy with new, smarter, and useful behaviors.
“The level of well-being of employees ought to be measured systematically and put on a page on one the annual shareholders’
report. It would send a strong signal about how a company is doing, and how it will be doing in the future.” Dr Salomon, Geriatric Physician in a Harvard-affiliated Medical Center.
WHAT HAPPENS IN INTIMACY AFFECTS EVERYTHING –
YOUR MOOD,YOUR CHOICES, YOUR PERSONALITY,YOUR VITALITY,YOUR LEADERSHIP EFFECTIVENESS.
Self-control is no longer depleting when it is aligned with one’s autonomous motivation.The science of expertise pins down that the self- control muscle exists and is a game- changer for an executive. Leaders
who manage their emotions well have better business outcomes.
CREATIVITY
is a central source of meaning in our lives.
It is “a drive for cognitive exploration of one’s inner and outer world.”
CREATIVE PEOPLE ARE PARADOXICALLY HIGH ON EROTIC ENERGY.
Creative people are more likely to have not only the strength of their own gender, but those of the other one, too.
A PSYCHOLOGICALLY ANDROGYNOUS PERSON IN EFFECT DOUBLES HIS/HER REPERTOIRE OF RESPONSES.
When we are able to tap into creativity in our relationships, rather than trying to manipulate other people to change, we turn into the problem solver who sees multiple possibilities for fixing the same problem.
CHALLENGE THE DOGMA.
Ask yourself: how I could do things differently?
Positive energy means you are able to see opportunity even when faced with what might seem like a failure at first glance.
Erotic continence is an excellent training to strengthen the self-awareness and the self-control muscles.
“My most creative ideas have emerged during or after an amazing lovemaking session when
I surrender to the body’s vibration. They come to me as obvious and clear revelations.” – Jay Wiseman, publisher of Greenery Press.
What matters in leadership effectiveness is the knock-on effect that is now accepted by large organizations: intense positive emotions increase performance, loyalty motivation, engagement, decision making, influencing, happiness at work,
and customer service.
HAPPY EMPLOYEES HAVE, ON AVERAGE, 31% HIGHER PRODUCTIVITY,THEIR SALES ARE 37% HIGHER,AND THEIR CREATIVITY IS 3 TIMES HIGHER.
Research finds that the most successful entrepreneurs have a realistic
SENSE OF OPTIMISM
based on the strengths they know they have.
One of the best ways to build HIGH POSITIVE ENERGY is to use
techniques from Superior Intimacy.
The way you are feeling at any given moment as a leader profoundly
influences how the people that work for you feel.
Negative emotions may prompt instant action, but they don’t inspire people in the long term. Even in small doses, negative energy can take a considerable toll on people.
INNER ENERGY IS EVERYTHING.
You can’t make more minutes in the day, but you can increase your inner energy which will increase your attention, focus, decision making, and overall productivity.
Women increase their emotional intelligence when they experience
MORE ORGASMS.
Smart eroticism provide all the ingredients which are necessary for a qualitative intimate relationship.
ELEVATED CONSCIOUSNESS EQUALITY IN SPIRIT TRANSCENDENCE SPIRITUAL FORCE DETACHMENT
LUCIDITY WISDOM WISDOM
PRACTICE OF SUPERIOR INTIMACY MODEL
Fig. 60 Freud described sublimation as a voluntary act of will. Because of sublimation the entire personality is “irreversibly renewed”. (Franz, 1980) Directing resulted inner energy (due to biological transmutation at body temperature) in different areas is associated with specific traits development
PART FIVE
Erotic Continence:
The key not only for happiness, satisfaction, and fulfilment but also for new leadership traits
‘The man who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the man doing it.’
NSPIRE
MAKING EROTIC CONTINENCE A FIELD OF SCIENCE
Ability to be intimate matters for a leader self-esteem
”This is one of those really hidden components which is behind everything.“
Ioana Jigau
”Taking on a new role as a leader? First make your intimate experiences in relationship an outstanding journey.“
George Vascan
Several years ago, we met an expert practitioner of erotic continence and asked him how erotic continence could become a field of science. “Two ways,” he answered. “Gradually, then suddenly.”
To become widely accessible, erotic continence needs to
Back in 2016, we wrote an email (more of a mini- manifesto) to some leadership professors from top biz schools in Europe, explaining that erotic continence needs to become scientific and inviting all to initiate an effort to make erotic continence training “data-driven”.
And to start researching the topic. The response we’ve got back was completely underwhelming. People liked the idea, but nobody was particularly excited by it or ready to talk about such “burning” topic.
“I don’t want to touch the subject”, said a professor from a famous business school in London. Another leadership professor from the same institution said: “I’m shocked and fascinated in the same time. Tell me more.”
become a scientific field the same way meditation became
a field of science. As meditation, erotic continence had been practiced for countless generations, yet ever since erotic continence did not became a field of science due to different reasons.
We think some changes need to happen. One important is access. When meditation became scientific, it became greatly demystified; new tools, equipment, and methodologies became available; and training and certification of service providers greatly improved.
In other words, a lot more people gained access to meditation techniques, knowledge, and insights. We anticipate that the same thing happens to erotic continence.
We found one person excited by the idea, a medical doctor, Dr. Ovidiu Olteamu who lives in Geneva. He recommended us to start presenting the concept to various organizations.
Very few of our friends (many of them men and women of science) were excited by the marriage of erotic continence and science, given the sensitivity of the topic.
We knew we were on the right track when we saw some of the top leadership professors that we've contacted, borrowing elements from our concept and investigating the topic in their own manner.
We become good friends with Ovidiu and Wanda (PhD in Biology) and with their support we were able to also
launch the training program in Geneva and Lausanne area.
Aligning erotic continence with real life
For the benefits of erotic continence to become widely accessible to humanity, it cannot just be the domain of spiritual people that lives outside the real world. Erotic continence needs to become integrated in the intimate lives of those individuals that are ready to transform their entire life.
It needs to align with the live and interests of real people, the average John of the world. Today, thanks to the contribution of past pioneers and others, meditation has acquired at least four important features:
In other words, meditation has now perfectly aligned with the modern lives of real people. It has become fully accessible to all, and humanity benefits from it.
The biggest risk is not the action you take, it is trying fruitlessly to be stack in the status quo as the world
changes around you.
To start the journey of becoming the best version of yourself, ask 3 deceptively simple questions. Am I happy today? Do I have a meaningful life? How do I start making the change?
The practice of Superior Intimacy is a man challenge, not
Everybody knows that “meditation is good for me.” There is no more debate.
While it is true that not everybody takes the trouble to meditate, even those who don’t meditate know that they should and that it would be good for them.
Anyone who wants to meditate can learn how to do it. The information is widely available, trainers are readily accessible if you want one, and many people have friends who meditate who can show them how to meditate.
Companies understand that healthy and physically mental fit workers are good for business. Many organizations even have meditation rooms or provide subsidies for meditation memberships. Today meditation is taken for granted.
In fact, meditation is so widely accepted that when you tell your friends you are going to the meditation class, nobody looks at you funny and thinks you’re some New Age crank from London. In fact, it is now the reverse. If you, for example, argue that pious Londoner should never meditate, people look at you funny.
a Superior Intimacy challenge. We must not be hampered by today’s myths in concentrating on today’s needs.
Knowing about erotic continence is not enough; we must apply.Then willingness to practice erotic continence is not enough; we must apply and achieve remarkable results.
"I guess you don't need a Stanford study to accept that erotic continence works." , said a good friend of one of us when he presented the case of his father who at 87years old (without any pills whatsoever) was erotically active in an relationship.
If you relentlessly focus on the happiness of your counterpart and the excellence of the experience you have together, if you learn Superior Intimacy, practice it, and constantly re- discover new doable ways for more happiness, on the whole very good things are likely to follow. However beautiful your erotic strategy, is you should occasionally look at the happiness of your lover.
Erotic continence doesn’t come from a schedule made process; it isn’t the random, animal or instinctual search for ways to reaching the climax; it comes from viewing intimacy in your couple in new ways.
New attitudes, new behaviors, new thoughts, and new emotions. It requires a deliberate practice for a period of time yet is about awareness, learning, and growing.
It starts with an ability to think and behave in smart, unconventional, and responsible ways. “Gradually, then suddenly” principle is much the same way how things transforms in our world and also in our lives.
Small changes accumulate (usually not seen in the beginning), and suddenly you discover you’re a different person. When it comes to erotic continence, the process of gradually accumulating is the same.
The choice to engage with this model springs not from thought, but from a readiness for more, from responsibility or because you care to dare.
The backbone of the exceptional experience of orgasm (without discharge for both) is attentive, consistent, lucid and conscious mix of love, integration, transfiguration, dignity, and complete erotic continence.
Leaders that catch disruptive changes early and learn Superior Intimacy will have the ability to thrive in the years to come. The dogma will trick into believing you that it is not natural, not normal and not to be accepted. Verdict: Wrong!
INSIGHT
SUPERIOR INTIMACY FOLLOWS ON THE STEPS OF
MEDITATION!
Written after a meeting with an IMD leadership professor
in Lausanne, Jan 2018
PAST TODAY
Crazy, strange, stupid
Erotic continence is intellectually simple and complex in simultaneity.
Any woman can start to practice the model immediately she finds out about it and understands the rationale behind it.
Even though women need more time to get in the mood for an erotic interaction, they are naturally endowed with the capacity to easier control the erotic energy during the intercourse.
Jogging
Meditation
Erotic Continence
(yet many people practiced)
Strange, weird, nothing to do with leadership (yet many people practiced)
Known only by traditions
Science Validated
Science Validated
Research in progress (many people practice)
A man needs a preparation phase and a special training, due to the fact that the impulse for discharge is in most of the cases not educated to be under control.
Fig. 61 "It is easier to smash an atom than a prejudice.” – A. Einstein
IF MINDFULNESS IMPROVES STRATEGY FORMULATION, COULD
EROTIC CONTINENCE IMPACT LEADERSHIP?
A "keep inside" transformational tool
”The purpose of life is a life of purpose.“
Robert Byrne, Chess Grand-Master
”What's good for the spirit is good for the bottom line“
Michael Rennie , Former McKinsey Partner
Over the course of a couple of decades, erotic continence has migrated from ancient Eastern traditions to corporate leaders and corridors of power, including Google, Aetna, and other large organizations.
On a personal level, leaders are taking note of the incipient of empirical research documenting romantic relationships irrefutable proofs for happiness, satisfaction, balance, vitality, self-awareness on top of reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, and improving emotional regulation.
This has caught attention to many senior leaders from the large organization as an effective path to favor rapid charisma development.
Positive emotions determine the quality of our lives
A recent line of research from the University of Houston,
The broaden-and-build theory is an exploration of the
evolved function of positive emotions.
It was developed by Barbara Fredrickson starting around 1998 and commonly associated with positive psychology. They conducted randomized controlled lab studies in which participants are randomly assigned to watch films that induce positive emotions such as amusement and contentment, negative emotions such as fear and sadness, or no emotions.
Compared to people in the other conditions, participants who experience positive emotions show heightened levels of creativity, inventiveness, and "big picture" perceptual focus. Longitudinal intervention studies show that positive emotions play a role in the development of long-term resources such as psychological resilience and flourishing.
Not only are positive emotions a sign of flourishing, or thriving and expanding in life rather than simply surviving life, they can also help create flourishing in the present and in the future.
Victoria, US has described intimacy as a means to practice
emotional development in couple relationship and guide the inner choices and behaviors through clear intention rather than emotional whims or reactive patterns.
Positive emotions positively broaden and build one's thought-action repertoires they lead to increased resources and more satisfied lives.
In an age in which corporations and public organizations are increasingly under attack for short-term thinking, and weak visions it's worth posing the question:
How a largely ignored topic can help leaders (women or men) behave more intentionally? Practically speaking, how can an organizational leader benefit into strategy formulation and execution out of this practice?
We can always choose to be aware
The right questions to ask
Richard Rumelt, a leading expert on strategy, writes in his book Good Strategy, Bad Strategy,"one of the quintessential components of a good strategy is the ability to take a step out of the internal storyline and shift viewpoints."
70 years ago, Viktor Frankl, an Austrian psychiatrist who
had emerged from years as a prisoner at Auschwitz, shed some light on the question with a now classic teaching:
"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that
"An insightful re-framing of a competitive situation," he
writes, "can create whole new patterns of advantage and weakness. The most powerful strategies arise from such in-
ner game-changing insights."
space is our power to choose our response. In our response
lies our growth and our freedom."
Smart eroticism — is at the core a practice of cultivating and consciously expanding this inner space.
It's about becoming aware of how new intimate behaviors can provoke automatic, immediate, unthinking responses in our thoughts, emotions and later in our choices, intentions, and actions.
At the University of Virginia’s Timothy Wilson argued that our brains are not equipped to handle the +11 million bits of data arriving at any given moment.
For the sake of efficiency, we tend to make new decisions based on old frames, memories, or associations. Through the practice smart eroticism, a person (male or female) is able to notice how their whole being reacts to thoughts, very intense sensations, deep emotions, and insight information.
This creates a powerful psychological capital for reflection(and learning) from past old storyline and habitual patterns that unconsciously guide choices, intentions and ultimately behavior. This creates space to deliberately learn new ways on how to speak, act, and behave.
One of us had the appointment to test the concept presented with a group of senior executives from a large organization in the Geneva area.
The experience gave us a practical understanding of what works when it comes to explaining and incorporating the concept into couple relationships of senior executives from that organization and how to integrate learning's from this "sensitive topic " into strategy retreats.
Although difficult in the beginning , the topic was much explored with openness, fun, and critical thinking leading to new HR initiatives.
To craft strategy on the basis of what Roger Martin and other scholars have called integrative thinking it’s not only necessary to identify a coherent set of policies in response to a problem or opportunity, but also necessary to elucidate the full range of intentions, assumptions, and relevant external factors at play in a decision-making situation.
It’s essential to step back and ask not only whether the team has identified the right plans or solutions, but also whether they have identified the right questions and problems in the first place. All this requires space between stimulus and response. So how can leaders bring
more space to strategy formulation? Is the answer to simply recruit leaders and board members who engage with meditation?
With meditation that is mainstream now, with courses on almost all universities, how about other practices which are even more effective (we dare to say) – as this is an intimate adult informed choice. It can't hurt.
Steve Jobs, long time and regular meditator (also an explorer of smart eroticism), used meditation to challenge operating assumptions at Apple and to enhance creative insight in strategic planning.
FEW TOOLS FOR PRACTITIONERS:
Engage daily into meditation practice: One simple approach is to integrate straightforward meditation activities into meetings and retreats. By practicing planning exercises with deliberate time for those present to simply connect with their breath, body or emotions and recognize unnecessary distractions, organizers can create the conditions for intuition, positive vibe and energy to arise.
As Rasmus Hougaard and Jacqueline Carter wrote in HBR's, it's possible to integrate simple practices of focus and awareness throughout a workday.
Practice smart eroticism in your couple relationship
it is also possible to develop high self-awareness and high self-control anchored in present moments with non-judgemental manner without efforts at all, by doing something that is very pleasant.
To design strategy one needs to have enough psychological capital to go through the challenging and consuming process of strategy and enough energy for execution – which in most of the cases is extracted from personal life
experiences. Strategy execution exercises, for example, open participants to numerous, potential bottlenecks that inherently can challenge assumptions and mindsets throughout the strategy execution process.
Much like in smart intimacy,the practice of self-awareness and self-control in critical situations (including crisis) – in strategy formulation one is required to assess different plausible scenarios – is a practical way of shining light on old unexamined thought patterns and making space for new ideas and insights.
Visualize positive outcomes: As Daniel Goleman and Barbara Fredrickson argue, positivity is part and parcel of focused attention. "Pessimism narrows our focus", they write, "positive emotions broaden and widen our attention span and our receptiveness to the new and unexpected."
"Organizational leaders can benefit from imagining organizational 'end-states' during strategy sessions."
This can be as simple as posing a variant of the question Goleman suggests — "if everything works out perfectly for our organization, what would we shall do in 10 years?"
and taking time to contemplate, identify, and write down the envisioned future.
KEY INSIGHT
MORE ENERGY IS MORE STRATEGY
Written after our participation at MERIT SUMMIT in
Barcelona, Spain Feb. 2017
WAVE A
WHY IS GOOD TO MEDITATE AFTER A SUPERIOR INTIMATE EXPERIENCE?
+
WAVE B
RESULTING WAVE
There are studies that prove the existence of a ripple effect of peace in the surrounding environment when a group meditates together.
According to the unified field super-string theory in physics, waves of vibration flow from everything in the universe changing the collective consciousness.
Meditation practitioners have the power to enliven that field. Bruce Lipton states in his book “Biology of Belief ” that our consciousness can change the physical world around us by altering the field.
A practical experiment tested a theory called “The Maharishi Effect” in Merseyside, England. A number that exceeded one percent of the population meditated daily
for 30 minutes together every day from 1988 to 1991, and the crime rate dropped so much that Merseyside went from third highest to the lowest-ranked city in England during the time of the experiment.
Meanwhile, the control town of non-practitioners held a steady crime rate. Meditation was the only factor in the study that could account for the change, as the scientists show that police practices, local economics, demographics, and local groups of contemplative practices remained the same throughout the study.
Meditating in your couple is a productive and healthy way to sublimate the energy accumulated, and is a practical way to sustain the process of a new skill development.
Fig. 64 Constructive interference is when 2 coherent waves come together to create a bigger wave.The higher the amplitude, the higher the energy.
BE INTELLIGENT, PRESERVE YOUR SEMEN
What you don’t do determines what you can do
“If men’s see that their erotic function has diminished, that can impact other domains of their lives.”
Daniel Williams, M.D.,
Associate Professor at University of Wisconsin
"The reason that I can write so much is that I don't waste my essence in the bedroom."
Winston Churchill
Is semen conservation good for a leader?
Have a look on below synthesis and judge for yourself. It is a generally known fact that in the animal kingdom we see males peaking around mating season. Humans are one of the only creatures without a mating season.
Those who constantly waste semen rather than letting erotic desire build like 99.9% of creatures on planet earth, ignore and miss the benefits of semen preservation.
The value of semen
But why is semen so important for a man to want to preserve and why he should learn a new behaviors in his couple erotic intimacy?
Semen is the unique material substance from the human body that can create life. It contains many treasury ingredients which are responsible for living longer, feeling energetic, being full of life, creative, happy, productive, and even intelligent.
Probably the most significant one is the Nerve Growth Factor (NGF), which has potent antidepressant and cognitive enhancing effects.
Semen also includes mood enhancers such as oxytocin, progesterone, endorphins, prolactin, TRH, and serotonin. Nerve growth factor (NGF) is important for the growth, maintenance, and survival of neurons, including the axons (the part where the electrical signal passes).It also promotes myelin repair, which is the coating around the axons.
She used NGF eye drops to increase her lifespan and health. NGF is known to be abundant in semen.
Rita Levi-Montalcini is an Italian scientist (1909-2012) won a Nobel Prize in 1986 for discovering nerve growth fact (NGF).
Semen contains spermidine, which has been found to increase lifespan. Spermidine has also been found to reduce the amount of aging in yeast, flies, worms, and human immune cells by inducing autophagy. Spermidine is a longevity agent due to its ability to regulate gene expression.
It also includes anti-anxiety hormones such as oxytocin, progesterone, and serotonin. Few people realize that the driving force of anxiety comes from oxidative stress, which is why it often goes along with brain fog and fatigue issues.
Semen contains a lot of antioxidants to combat oxidative stress. This precious substance also contains a number of antioxidants such as melatonin, SOD, catalase, GPx, glutathione,VitaminC,VitaminE,pyruvate,andcarnitine.
Semen contains uric acid, which is also an antioxidant, yet we don’t know if it’s in a meaningful concentration to
be medically useful. The importance of semen is deeply rooted in the historical and sociocultural belief system of the Indian sub-continent and the ancient traditions worldwide.
Results of several studies of the Indian context suggest that men consider that lack of semen conservation leads to both erotic and non-erotic health problems.
The exceptional value of semen conservation
The ancient medical science of Ayurveda states that one drop of semen is the condensed essence of 40 drops of blood and its wastage from the body is accompanied by the loss of precious proteins, lipoids, cholesterin, and minerals, and decreases severely men’s vitality and immunity.
Ayurveda, provides even more insights and mentions that ‘semen is derived from the marrow, which is formed from flesh and blood in a stepwise manner’. Blood is formed from food. Therefore, semen is derived from food in a multi-step process of purification and filtration.
During each step of this process there occurs 40 condensations and ultimately 1 drop of semen is formed from 40 drops of bone marrow. Because of these reasons,
physical beauty, physical strength (energy), and mental strength (intelligence and memory). It is clearly stated that loss of semen leads to loss of happiness, loss of memory, and loss of vigor.
From an intellectual viewpoint, geniuses like Pythagoras, Plato, Aristotle, Beethoven, Sir Isaac Newton, Leonardo da Vinci, and Michelangelo choose to led celibate lives to convert their erotic energy into intellectual insights.
In the 18th century, semen conservation theory re- entered Western medicine through Tissot's Treatise on the Diseases. It became the basis of the degeneracy theory of all disease, and of the masturbation hysteria of the 19th and 20th centuries.
Auguste Comte, french philosopher and writer who formulated the doctrine of positivism and often regarded as the first philosopher of science in the modern sense of the term, also seen as the founder of the academic discipline of sociology, said:
"To control the sexual impulse efficiently has always been and ever will be regarded as the highest test of human wisdom."
semen is considered as highly precious body fluid.
In Atharya-Veda semen conservation is presented as the greatest among religious observances, and mentioned to be the source of supreme power. As early as 600 B.C., the Caraka Samhita taught the importance of sukra and gave prescriptions to augment it.
Since ancient time men considered semen the most powerful and vital body fluid representing their erotic performance and reproductive ability.
The same Charaka Samhita says that semen is considered as highly precious body fluid. Semen is the cause to
Decades ago, even Freud attributed neurasthenia – a neurosis – to semen discharge. In 1912, he challenged Stekel's „modern” view (his most distinguished disciple and one of his earliest followers), reinforcing the idea that semen loss has „pernicious effects on brain functioning…”.
In the England of the 19th century, semen preservation was a common sense practice (and recommendation) for many doctors in order to maintain health, vitality and power.
Henry Maudley, a pioneering British psychiatrist, held the
view, like many of his fellow peers, that semen loss drives mental illness. In the same period of time, the American psychiatric community diagnosed many mental diseases through the lenses of the same certainty: not practicing semen conservation inevitably triggered many mental dysfunctions.
By the end of the same revolutionary 19th century, in French physiology, there was largely spread the idea that strength and vitality are available to any organism in only limited quantities.
Overexertion of any kind, but especially erotic, was seen as a real danger to males, who were thus advised to preserve their semen.
To emphasize the significance of semen in the life of men, common wisdom in India use the metaphor “a poor man who has no money” is similar to “a sexually weak man who has no semen” .
Coitus reservatus (coitus, "erotic intimate intercourse, union" + reservatus, "reserved, saved"), also known as erotic intimate continence, is a form of erotic intimate intercourse in which both lovers do not attempt to discharge during the experience, but instead attempts to remain at the plateau phase of intercourse for as long as possible and achieve multiple orgasms, while avoiding the seminal emission.
"Coitus Reservatus – in which intercourse is maintained even for very long periods, during which a woman may orgasm several times while the penetrative partner succeeds in holding back orgasm – so far from being injurious to a woman, is probably the form of coitus which gives her the maximum gratification and relief " wrote the 19th century psychologist Havelock Ellis.
Alice Stockham coined the term karezza, derived from
the Italian word "carezza" meaning "caress", to describe coitus reservatus, but the idea was known for ages in Orient.
On its surface the concept of karezza is very close to maithuna in Tantra from India and sexual practices in Tao from China. Control of discharge is a key aspect of Taoist erotic practices (known as "cai Yin pu Yang" and "cai Yang pu Yin").
Stockham writes:"… Karezza signifies 'to express affection in both words and action,' and while it fittingly denotes the union that is the outcome of deepest human affection, love's consummation, it is used technically throughout this work to designate a controlled sexual union."
So that in practice, according to Stockham, it is more than just self-control, but mutual control where both lovers help each other to achieve an intense state of bliss. This is the key to overcoming many difficulties encountered in trying to control intimacy expression on an individual basis.
Stockham's contribution was to apply this same philos- ophy of orgasm control to women as much as to men.
A form of energy control, the technique also prolongs erotic intimacy pleasure to the point of achieving intense and profound states of bliss and ecstasy, according to J. William Lloyd, a practitioner of karezza, whose own experience of a higher consciousness appears in Cosmic Consciousness, a book written by the Canadian psychiatrist Richard M. Bucke, a friend of the American poet Walt Whitman.
In this practice, orgasm is separated from discharge, making possible enjoyment of the pleasure of erotic intimate intercourse without experiencing seminal
discharge, while still experiencing orgasm.
From a medical viewpoint, Dr. Frederick McCann, an
urologist from the beginning of 20th century, remarks:
In Latin literature, this is known as coitus sine ejaculatione
seminis.
One purpose of karezza is the maintenance, and indeed, intensification of desire and enjoyment of erotic intimate pleasure within the context of relationships. According to Stockham, it takes from two weeks to a month for the body to recover from discharge … "Unless procreation is desired, let the final propagative orgasm be entirely avoided".
Stockham advocated that the 'honeymoon period' of a relationship could be maintained in perpetuity by limiting the frequency of discharges, or, preferably avoiding them entirely. Kalman Andras Oszlar writes: "Inasmuch as sexual togetherness is not limited into the physical world and does not mean quick wasting of sexual energies, by this we give free way to higher dimensions in the relationship."
Affected by this, we may get into the state of flow, and in the course of this, the couple charges up with energy, while – with focused attention (concentration) – the couple is submerging in that in which they are having pleasure.This state of mind is connected with the achieved beneficial effects by Taoist restraint and transformation.
According to one of the founders of positive psychology Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, the flow experience is an entirely focused and a motivationally intensified experience where in the course of this people can entirely focus and properly command their feelings for the best performance or learning. English novelist Aldous Huxley, in his last novel Island wrote that Maithuna, the Yoga of Love is "the same as what Roman Catholicism means by coitus reservatus."
"The spermatic fluid does possess potentialities justifying the belief of ancient writers concerning its vital properties."
The insights from a doctor and spiritual master
Sri Swami Sivananda, a renowned spiritual master, medical doctor and great sage of India, states in his book, Practice of Brachmacharya: “Practice of Brahmacharya gives good health, inner strength, peace of mind, and long life. It invigorates the mind and the nerves. It helps to conserve physical and mental energy. It augments memory, will
Fig. 65 SWAMI SIVANANDA SARASWATI (1887 – 1936)
"The energy wasted during one discharge is the same as the amount of energy that is spent in physical labour for ten day, or the energy that is used in mental work for three days.When Virya (semen) is used, it is stored up in the brain. Most of your ailments are due to seminal wastage."
force, and brain power. It bestows tremendous strength, vigour, and vitality. Strength and fortitude are obtained. The eye is the window of the mind. If the mind is pure and calm, the eye also is calm and steady. He who is established in Brahmacharya will have lustrous eyes, a sweet voice, and a beautiful complexion.”
Semen is found in a subtle state in all the cells of the body.
His vision about semen, the substance of life, was holistic: "Just as sugar is all-pervading in the sugar-cane, butter in milk, so also, semen is pervading the whole body. Just as the buttermilk is thin after the butter is removed, so also, semen is thinned by its wastage. The more the wastage of semen, the more is the weakness.”
Regarding the modern European approach on eroticism, Swami Shivananda claims: “There is a Western idea that sex is a natural urge and so free expression should be given to it. And if free expression is not given to it, the sex urge will become suppressed, will become repressed.
And if it is thus suppressed and repressed, it will create all sorts of abnormalities within you and you will develop neurosis and various types of complex and you will become an abnormal person.
There is partial truth in it. There is truth in it to the extent that if this suppression and repression is forced upon you by circumstances beyond your control, by social environment, by other taboos and deep-seated inhibitions within you, due to your father’s advice or mother’s dominance or family and all, then it can give rise to some undesirable inner abnormality.
But this situation never applies if realizing the greatness of a higher goal and realizing the necessity of this important Sadhana (daily spiritual practice) of self-control in order to attain that goal, you make up your mind fully, willingly, and voluntarily. Then there is no question of suppression.
If with a full willing heart you enter into this course of self-discipline and self-restraint, then there is no question of suppression. No one is asking you to do it. You want to do it. You are yourself desirous of it. So, done with full willingness, done with great enthusiasm, it becomes a voluntary thing. Then, psychological situations will not arise.
On the contrary, every time you succeed in controlling the sense-urge, you get a sense of elation, you get a sense of achievement you get a sense of inner satisfaction that you have succeeded.
So, it is something that goes on giving you endless satisfaction and a sense of triumph, a sense of overcoming. Therefore, it is entirely a positive process, a very creative and positive process, not a negative and suppressive process.
So, regarding Brahmacharya, if you take the right approach and attitude towards it, then it is simple. It is a question of conserving energy, of preserving energy, so that it may be utilized for higher things which you wish to attain.”
Dr. Dio Louis, a prominent temperance American leader and physical culture advocate, who lived in the 19th century, thought that conservation of this element is essential to the strength of the body, vigour of mind, and keenness of intellect.
Another medical doctor, who lived in that time, E.P. Miller, said:
"All waste of spermatic secretions, whether voluntary or involuntary, is a direct waste of the life force. It is almost universally conceded that the choicest element of the blood enters into the composition of the spermatic secretion. "
suggest that men consider that semen loss often leads to both sexual and non-sexual health problems. In Hindi, semen is called virya which means vigour.
Men's eternal force of life and survival is believed to
be conserved in semen. The ‘excessive’, ‘unnatural’, or
”Virya is all power. Virya is all money. Virya is God. Virya is God in motion. Virya is dynamic will. Virya is Atmabala. Virya is God’s Vibhuti. The Lord says in the Gita: “Paurasham Nrishu”, (I am the seed or virility in men.) Virya is the essence of life, thought, intelligence, and consciousness. There, preserve this vital fluid very, very carefully, my dear readers.“ Swami Shivananda
Science comes to confirm tradition
Fast forward in the 21st century, a close look on the topic from a scientific point of view reveals that there are
+39.000 papers on Pubmed related to semen in one way or the other.
“Semen Contains Vitality and Heredity, Not Germs” says a paper by Sarful et all, 2006. In this qualitative study on male sexuality, 50 men, aged 18–55 years, from diverse socio-demographic backgrounds and 10 healthcare practitioners were interviewed. Men considered semen the most powerful and vital body fluid representing their sexual performance and reproductive ability. Rather than recognizing the vulnerability to transmission of STIs, concerns about semen were grounded in the desire of men to preserve and nourish seminal vitality. Traditional practitioners supported semen loss as a major sexual health concern where male heritage configures male sexuality in a patriarchal society.
The importance of semen is deeply rooted in the historical and sociocultural belief system of the Indian sub-continent. Results of studies of the Indian context
‘immoral’ semen loss can negatively impact on health in general and sexual health in particular. The word dhat has been found in Sanskrit, from a word dhatu which indicates semen.
The notion of a human body as a biological device, in which diseases originate, has limitations in terms of ignoring the truth that the human body also has social and cultural realities where perceptions of health and sickness are grounded. Many illnesses without any organic pathology are culturally produced and bound among men and women across societies.
The ethnomedical perspectives of ayurvedic medicine have potential to explain health and illness, including loss of genital secretions through a ‘cultural prism’ through which men and women traditionally view the self and the body throughout South Asia. Any loss of vital energy of the male body not only brings negative setbacks for men's health, but is also harmful to society.
Thus, semen loss has societal meanings beyond physical bodies towards masculine discourse of male lives. Men from all backgrounds considered semen the source of physical, sexual and manly strength. Men in this study also referred to semen as dhatu.
The word dhatu also means ‘vital essence’ which is analogous to birjo. The Bangladesh word birjo used to mean semen. They also used the word mal (valuable goods) to indicate semen. Thus, the symbolic meaning of birjo is wealth and power of men.
ndian researchers found that a significant proportion of women suffer from the dhat syndrome. Like men, women also perceive such discharge as loss of dhatu, a vital fluid like semen, necessary for health and the well-being of women. Researchers argue that perceived symptoms of women were generally somatic in nature.
In ayurvedic and Chinese medical histories, semen has been portrayed as an ‘essence’ of men's life. The South Asian concepts of semen are grounded in similar frameworks of the ancient ayurvedic and Chinese understanding of semen.
60 to 100 drops of blood are required to produce one drop of semen. Some ayurvedic texts state that each sexual intercourse is equivalent to an energy expenditure of 24 hours of mental work or 72 hours of physical work. It is believed that consumption of 60 pounds of food is required to produce the amount of semen in a single discharge (ejaculation).
Scholars have argued that the cultural meanings of semen loss, especially in South Asian countries, can be compared with the 18th century Western medical propositions. The depletion of semen, the vital fluid of body and blood, was thought to lead to insanity. “The loss of one ounce of it [semen] enfeebles more than forty ounces of blood.
Semen is important for healthy bodily functions, and wasting of semen in ‘unnecessary’ sexual activities, especially for self-pleasure without the need of reproduction, can cause illness. Tissot argues that sperm is the ‘end-pro-duct of digestions’, ‘essential ointment’, and the ‘leading liqueur’.
In Victorian times, between the 1800s and early 1900s, physicians also believed in the harmful impacts of semen loss on health. Therefore, these views are historically
grounded, and physicians of the current era also believe in this. Historically, semen is seen as the most powerful body fluid and an asset of men.
Om Prakash et all build on the same argument that ‘Dhat syndrome’ – a term introduced in scientific literature by Indian psychiatrist Wig – is associated with psychosomatic symptoms of fatigue, weakness, anxiety, loss of appetite, guilt and sexual dysfunction, and attributed by the patient to loss of semen. “Dhat” is derived from the word “dhatu” and is a Sanskrit word which means “Metal” or “Elixir.
In Vedic culture, there is a vivid description about “Brahmacharya”, which means “strictly following or adopting the path to reach Brahma (God – The Creator)”. In this path, the individual needs to conserve his semen which adds to his strength and takes him closer to the supreme spirit. Loss of semen is seen as the biggest obstacle in the path of “Brahmacharya”.
In ‘Ramayana’, Lord Rama's younger brother Laxmana had practiced “Brahmacharya” during his stay with his brother for which he was very powerful (due to preservation of semen) and was able to destroy the evil powers. In the same epic, there is a description of “Hanuman”, a “Brahmacharin” and hence considered most powerful.
Vedas, Upanishads, Puranas, Gita, and other literatures emphasize the importance of “Brahmacharya”. There are also stories related to normal and abnormal sexuality in these literatures.
Some of the literatures like Kamasutra of Vatsayan, Ratishastra, and Kalyanamalla's Ananga Ranga, etc., exclusively focused on eroticism. Ayurveda, Charaka Samhita, and Susruta Samhita also describe the value of semen and consequences of semen loss.
Ayurveda recommend treatment of related issues in a separate subsection named “Vajikarana”. It also gives specific recommendations for erotic intimacy of an individual and emphasizes that one should not engage in
In 1991 PubMed study "Semen-conservation doctrine from ancient Ayurvedic to modern sexological theory," it presents how the ancient doctrine of semen conservation has a long philosophical history in Europe and Asia.
intimate intercourses (with discharge) as it causes decline
in vigor, vitality, disease and even death.
In Charaka Samhita, loss of semen gives rise to loss of libido in long run and is described as “Sukra Kshya”. Ayurveda mentions about medicinal plants and foods that lead to increase in potency (Aphrodisiacs) and also indicates the foods and behaviors to be avoided in order to prevent loss of semen and impotency. Erotic impotency due to loss of semen is seen as “Shukra-Kshayaj Klaibya” which can be translated as “semen loss related impotency”. The vital role of semen in keeping the individual healthy was also emphasized in the famous book “Kama Sutra” by Vatsayana (300 A.D.).
In Buddhism it is considered by many monks that 100 drops of blood make one drop of semen. They say that semen is the source of energy and is formed from purification of food due these facts monks choose deliberately to retain their semen (seeds) to have long energetic life.
A 2003 study found that men who abstained from discharge for seven days showed a peak rise in serum testosterone of 145.7 percent of baseline.
Scores of many other studies have demonstrated that low testosterone levels are associated with a variety of symptoms, including flagging libido, abdominal obesity, loss of muscle strength and tone, fatigue, and erectile dysfunction. Moreover, another interesting study shows a strong correlation between low testosterone levels and the risk of dementia on elderly men.
'Semen contains vitality and heredity, not germs'
a conclusion of a qualitative 2006 study on male sexuality available on PubMed, whereas 50 men, aged 18-55 years, from diverse socio-demographic backgrounds and 10 healthcare practitioners were interviewed.
Therefore, steps that help maintain or raise testosterone levels are probably desirable for many men. The semen preservation is at the utmost importance for a man who wants to accelerate his transformation, grow his creativity, inner balance, self-awareness, and self-control.
It is important to highlight that the benefits of complete erotic continence cannot be achieved by avoiding erotic activities! This is why we might consider the celibate a better alternative than having erotic activity with discharge.
Still, the celibate is a poor choice compared to Superior Intimacy, which combines the extraordinary benefits of semen conservation with the happiness, satisfaction, and fulfilment given by the multiple orgasms.
When conventional Western medicine is challenged
However, conventional Western medicine states that a man’s supply of semen is naturally replenished soon after he discharges and therefore there is no need to practice erotic continence.
If this would be indeed an unassailable truth, then we can ask: Why Schrödinger was a fervent practitioner ?Why Steve Jobs engaged with this practice? Why Sting, Miles
Davis, or Mae West? Why many other leaders from very large organizations practice this in their private life?
Why top athletes (football players, tennis players, chess players, boxers, etc) choose this life-style? Moreover, were the ancient legendary leaders (e.g. The Yellow Emperor) whose secret practice for success, power and longevity was
that hasn’t had some food for a while, and you’ve got a dangerous cat. So there won't bet a drip from me. Even in my sleep. That’s control. I’ve been doing that since I was fifteen and it’s part and parcel of my preparation now.
erotic continence, mistaken? What about the interesting fact that nowadays step by step modern science comes to confirm tradition more than ever?
There is a rich body of scientific evidence that eastern practices (meditation, yoga, tai-chi) provides multiple benefits for practitioners (e.g. cognitive abilities) for those who want to stay healthy, and strong – mentally and physically, to be productive, creative, and overall to significantly improve the quality of their life.
Famous Athletes on Semen Conservation
The Great Gama Champion of World Wrestling, 1910 and 1928 –
EROTIC CONTINENCE
CLASSICAL DISCHARGE
HIGH
INNER ENERGY
HIGH, ELEVATED INNER STATES
+
+
“A wrestler must be a celibate because semen is regarded
as the primary source of strength.”
Boxing expert on Muhammad Ali – “There’s a kid just came down here, named Cassius Clay. If you bet on him every time he fights, you’ll be a rich man, ‘cause he won’t lose a single fight. I believe his thing is sexual control. And he’s got it. Any kid who can control his sex can win the title. I believe it.
DIMINISHED VITALITY
REDUCED MEMORY
LOSS OF EROTIC POWER
IF REPEATED,
FAVORS:
PROFOUND FRUSTRATION
CREATIVITY DECLINE
ANXIETY DEPRESSION
David Haye – "I don’t discharge for 6 weeks before the fight. No sex, no masturbation, no nothing. It releases too much tension. It releases a lot of minerals and nutrients that your body needs, and it releases them cheaply.
PREMATURE
SENILITY DECREPITUDE
PROFOUND
FRUSTRATION
Releasing weakens the knees and your legs. Find a lion
Fig. 50 Understanding why the classical model is broken. Beginnings
have some similar aspects, yet continuation is essentially different.
Find me another boxer who makes that sacrifice, and you’ll find another champion."
Rickson Gracie, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Grand Master
"No discharge. Yeah, because you know, by discharge you waste a lot of energy. I mean, the vital energy in your body goes away. I mean, if you want to accumulate energy, if you want to get full energy, you cannot waste.”
A side note on this thought is that athletic coaches typically ask their athletes to avoid discharge the same day prior to a competition because it’s been scientifically shown that testosterone levels decline immediately after discharge and athletic performance is negatively affected.
Interview Excerpt
Miles Davis – "You can't discharge then fight or play. You can't do it.
Interviewer: Explain that in layman's terms.
Davis: Ask Muhammad Ali. If he discharges, he can't fight two minutes. For sure, he couldn't even whip me.
Interviewer: Would you fight Muhammad Ali under those conditions, to prove your point?
Davis: You're right I'd fight him. But he's got to promise to discharge first. If he ain't going to discharge, I ain't going to fight. You give up all your energy when you discharge. I mean, you give up all of it!92"
Melville Keith, M.D. The Marriage Law – “We tell you that at every emission of semen you are losing the food and the best portion of the (blood) corpuscles, inasmuch as every particle of semen which is ejected will be replaced by more taken from the blood.
This is enough to convince you that when you are ejecting the semen which should stay in the body and become reabsorbed so as to go and form the oil for the joints, new muscles, the brain material, as well as every other part of the body, you are really destroying or throwing away your life.”
George Clooney – Told the Rolling Stone magazine that he had his first orgasm when he was much younger. "I believe it was while climbing a rope" he explained. "I mean, nothing came out, but all the other elements were there. I remember getting to the top of the rope, hanging off the rope, and going, 'Oh, my God, this feels great!'"
Sting's wife – "Remember Sting's not a morning man, so I do meditation instead," Trudie (Sting’s wife) joked. 'Then 20 minutes (of meditation) in the evening before five hours of intimacy – if you believe the newspapers.”
Below is a list of highly successful men who credited their success to semen retention/sexual abstinence/erotic continence
Athletes – Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali, Saigo Takamori (one of the most influential samurai in japanese history) Martin "Farmer" Burns (World Champion Wrestler)Georg Hackenschmidt (20Th Century Strongman, Wrestler And Philosopher), David Haye (World Heavy Weight Boxing Champion), Manny Pacquiao (Boxer, Eight Division World Champion), Rickson Gracie (Brazilian Jiu-Jitshu Grand Master), The Great Gama Undefeated World Champion Wrestler
Scientists & Businessmen – Sigmund Freud, Sir Isaac Newton, Nikola Tesla, Erwin Schrödinger, Noel Joseph Terence, Steve Jobs
Philosophers – Plato, Socrates, Dalai Lama, Pythagoras, Swami Vivekananda
Creatives (musicians & writers & actors) – Michelangelo, Leo Tolstoy, Miles Davis, Kayne West, 50 Cent, Mark Wahlberg, Sting
For men training is mandatory while for women it is not
The practice (or art) of separating orgasm from discharge is an essential step in erotic continence. By using the erotic continence methodology (see Superior Intimacy model), a man learn how to literally re-train his nervous system to separate orgasm from discharge.
Only think of how long it take for someone to learn to ride a bike without training wheels. It takes discipline and persevering practice, to grow the new technique/skill for a period of time.
Add to that the fact that one is also regenerating and rebuilding his vitality, power, and health after a lifetime of depletion. As with any new skill/practice/technique, there is an adjustment period as a man’s body (and mind!) adapt to this new way of being.
Fast forward to the future
A few decades back, if someone would have told you that smoking kills (doctors said it is safe), video games are addictive or porn addiction is similar to any substance addiction, then people would have claimed it as pseudo- science because at that time there were no scientific evidence. Today, look around the number of studies which confirms the problems.
Similarly, erotic continence, largely ignored so far by traditional science, is a highly-beneficial practice tested, proven, and validated through practitioners (some very famous) around the globe in top executive positions in large organizations.
Professor Anders Ericsson is an expert on experts, who studies exactly how people improve at anything. If we want to improve, we must engage in what Ericsson calls "deliberate practice."
According to his research and logic, the sole reason one isn't a virtuoso violinist, or an Olympic athlete, or another kind of world-class performer, is that one haven't engaged in a process he calls "deliberate practice.
Deliberate practice involves stepping outside your comfort zone and trying activities beyond current abilities, while repeating a skill already mastered might be satisfying, it's not enough to move to next level.
Simply wanting to improve isn't enough — one also need well-defined goals and the guidance of a teacher who offers practical insights and proper instructions for achieving them.
Unless one is performing exercises that were assigned by an experienced teacher to help improve in a particular area, Ericsson believes one’s is not engaging in deliberate practice. Plenty of practice activities are completely ineffective and won't lead to improvement, says Anders Ericsson, lead author of Peak
An interesting insight from Peak is this: “To become an expert, you may need to be willing to sacrifice short- term pleasure for potential satisfaction of success down the road. A key tenet of deliberate practice is that it's generally not easy, at least in the beginning.”
KEY INSIGHT
IF WE WANT TO IMPROVE WE MUST ENGAGE IN A
DELIBERATE PRACTICE
Written after a leadership seminar in Geneva, Nov 2016
ASSESSING YOUR COUPLE RELATIONSHIP ON 4DIMENSIONS.
WHAT'S YOUR ACTION PLAN?
HIGH LEARNING
LOW INNER ENERGY
HIGH INNER ENERGY
TOMORROW
LOW LEARNING
LOW HAPPINESS
HIGH HAPPINESS
TODAY
EROTIC CONTINENCE – THE PIVOTAL HABIT FOR ACCELERATED TRANSFORMATION
Major and multiple benefits condensed in one practice
”It always seems impossible until it’s done.“
Nelson Mandela
According to Safron, rhythmic stimulation during erotic intimacy can cause the neurons in the brain to fire (“fire
”For an intelligent person, erotic continence means semen conservation plus multiple, profound and intense orgasms… both in simultaneity.“
together, wire together”) at a similar frequency — a process known as neural entrainment.
Ioana Jigau
What fascinates humanity for ages?
People have tried many ways to alter their consciousness
— meditation, psychedelic mushrooms, rituals, dance etc. A new paper adds Eros to that list. Seems that science has found one of the reasons why eroticism fascinates and obsesses mankind since ages. Eroticism is the principal motive force of all the mechanics because it has the ability to suspend the mind’s activity. Our internal stories stop flashing before our eyes and rumination shuts up.
The paper’s author, Adam Safron, a neuroscientist and Ph.D. student at Northwestern University, explains that erotic intimate activity is capable of shifting our perceptions of reality through a combination of erotic pleasure, a trance-like state and the syncing of our nervous system to the rhythmic movements of erotic activity.
The experience of orgasm can be explained as an “intensification of erotic pleasure” and a deepening of “altered states of consciousness”, writes Safron in the Journal Socio-affective Neuroscience and Psychology.
Neural entrainment is also known as brainwave entrainment
or brainwave synchronization.
It is the theory that our brains have a tendency to synchronize themselves to external stimulation, which could include auditory, visual, tactile or electromagnetic stimuli.
It is known that the human brain contains approximately 80+ billion neurons which communicate with each other to form our thoughts, emotions and behavior. When our neurons communicate in mass, it produces a synchronized electrical pulse known as a brainwave. Our brainwaves can align with an external stimulus, and as a result we can stimulate our brains in ways that could positively affect our psychology and physiology.
Using this method, we could alter the state of our consciousness in ways that we would usually have difficulty reaching. Entrainment is an effective method which allows you to experience what these states feel like, and how they affect the body.
Erotic signals come in many forms — tactile, visual, auditory, olfactory, and taste. Having a greater variety of sensory input increases the chance that entrainment
will occur. If the rhythmic stimulation is strong enough and occurs for a long enough time, these oscillations may spread across the brain. That’s because a neuron is more likely to fire if the inputs arrive at roughly the same time
— this pushes the neuron past its firing threshold.
When the brain syncs with the rhythms of the intercourse, a person may experience increased attention and focus, the same kind of effects that you gain from meditation.
When this happens, a person enters a state of sensory absorption or trance. As they focus on the intimate activity, less attention is left for other activities. So erotic activity can lead to increased focus, which reduces our “mind-chatter” and allows us to become absorbed in the sensory experience.
This is the trance-like state, an experience that also occurs during meditation, when the mind is focused on the breath, candlelight or other object. Esoteric knowledge highlights that each human being has an enormous creative potential, which is dormant and awaits us to become conscious of it.
Awareness basically is, a process of "insertion" of consciousness into matter. From this perspective the process of transmutation, means capturing the energy that is contained in something that is material and dormant which exudes life and activity.
Freedom starts with controlling your instincts
Most people are not aware of the existence of their personal potential, which actually is their most valuable treasure; and for them, erotic drive is an aleatory urge and they don't bother to gain control over it.
Erotic energy is the most common and powerful expression of our creative potential. Particularly when it comes to this basic energy, we have to face the fact that if we do not control it, we’ll be controlled by it.
Practitioners say that this basic pro-creative level is so vast and complex and it takes huge power (will and mind power) to take control over it. There is a saying that "he who controls himself is worth more than the one who conquers a castle, and he who does not control himself is like a crumbled castle that has no walls."
A person who learns how to control his/her instincts, desires, and lust, becomes his/her own master, gains more control over his/her whole being, over his/her own life, relations.The key is the perfect control of our pro-creative potential which through transmutation and sublimation triggers massive energy. This energy, the more is pure, elevated, uplifted, the more it can be modulated at different levels of our being and change our lives.
The choice of a smart informed leader
First Option – Follow the current dogma – lose semen/ sexual fluids through common discharge and decrease vitality, power, strength, and think that this is the normal. In this case energy is discharged outside leading to a state of ease, a process that is destructive and not creative, it reached at the peak of excitement and lasts few seconds.
In time (if repeated often), it leads to profound frustration, anxiety, dramatic diminish of vitality, premature senility, decrepitude, and declined creativity.
Second Option – Becoming a celibate – preserving the semen/sexual fluids – yet do not have exceptional intimate experiences that bring happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, and high inner energy.
Celibacy is equated by many with seminal conservation and has a positive perception with several papers exploring the approach. Despite benefits (that are acknowledged and known) it has lots of struggles (wet dreams etc.) if one is not transmuting the pro-creative material and then engage in a disciplined circulation of energy.
Unless energy is properly sublimated, because of accumulation, it might create frustration, anxiety, anger or other specific challenges.
Third Option – Learn and practice smart eroticism
Erotic Continence (4 steps) – Life energy is retained and used for superior, non-erotic purposes. Pleasure is consciously experienced but not consumed. A delicious and profound state of communion, feeling a profound union not only erotic but also affective, mental, and even spiritual.
It is reached at the peak of profound relaxation and abandon with complete control of procreative, substantial, erotic potential. The state can last hours and it leads to profound happiness, satisfaction, vitality, self-awareness, self-control, and intense positive emotions.
As is the case with any practice, in realizing erotic continence 1 gram of practice equals tons of theories. For the linear thinkers, for the ones full of prejudices, for the sceptical ones, erotic continence is impossible and thus for them, it does not exist.
The practitioner will learn that the semen is transmuted biologically at body temperature to high inner energy allowing him/her to experiment hundreds of dry orgasms (without discharge) of overwhelming intensity.
A leader who practices erotic continence is a strong, super-virile, super vital, full of sense of humour, intelli- gent, active, electric, self-controlled, and open-hearted.
In our days, when the potency of leaders has decreased dramatically, generally speaking, the practice of smart eroticism is a saving remedy that can help any executive become a super-energetic leader.
Insights from practitioners
There's no doubt that the ecstatic feelings which an erotic intimate experience without discharge can induce are explained by the chemical changes, such as the release of endorphins. These biological effects are due to the fact that a superior intimate experience has a similar – but often stronger – psychological effect to our inner theatre like meditation or contemplating nature.
It empties our minds and intensifies our inner energy. In these moments, we may learn that we our problems (personal or professional challenges) are seen from a different angle, a superior perspective, and a problem- solving skill is growing within us.
When we experience such a state, there's usually silence, stillness, and lightness in and around us while our being is effectively closed to everything beyond the experience. As a result, we gradually become centred, quiet, and aware – and our psychic energy, normally used up in concentration, perception, and learning – intensifies, generating a sense of wholeness, happiness, fulfilment, and well-being.
The conscious pleasure creates a state of intense absorption. Initially our attention is taken away from the normal ‘thought-chatter' to a state of silence. Then we experience a state of beatific void that builds inside us a profound experience of bliss yet not stable
With proper technique (at advanced stages), a perpetual state of bliss is installed and effects reverberates for weeks in the inner theatre of the practitioner.
You can deal with any obstacle in that state – no matter the amplitude.
Stop from 10 to 20 times, observe, and learn
Advanced practitioners recommend multiple "stops" during passionate and conscious lovemaking, with no discharge for both lovers. For them, the experience of love is a beatific expansion of their inner theatres of the two lovers, who become then one. They experience gradually an expansion of their inner states, understanding more, and growing their capacity for learning. This not only builds intense happiness but creates a clear sense of meaning.
Practitioners don't speak of love as a moral value, but about as the active and bidirectional interplay of energies. During the passionate intimacy experiences, entering countless ecstatic orgasms without discharge, always the double attention plug must be sustained without discontinuities, without any calculus, free and constant.
The developed attention, especially during the passionate lovemaking will naturally extend by itself when the plenary conscience will awake in us. This will gradually enhance our inner theatre. To accelerate the development of this "inner skill",we mostly need the adequate proportion combination of intention, attention, and awareness.
A very easy method is to stop at times (intention), focus our attention in a specific manner(attention), and contemplate the experience created (awareness); these stops will be short in the beginning, 10-20 times, not more than 1-2 minutes each.
You should not have any internal or external constraint pushing you to not afford these short moments – when in reality, we can learn as much (if not more) as in a successful meditation. We will pay attention to our breathing, which will become naturally calm and rhythmic and will catapult us in a formidable state of silence.
These moments of spontaneous and flashing stops aim to interrupt the normal flowing of thoughts and extend the state of expansion and unity which finally will create in us a state of beatific void. These voids are opportunities to learn what it means to practice profound meditation which are doubled by a sustained focus in the present moment and an altered state of consciousness.
Through practice, this ineffable state of beatific void will become constant and will develop in our being an unshaken equilibrium stability able to heal any emotional trauma.After a few months only,the practitioner will learn that the intense moments of conscious erotic pleasure (never followed by discharge) contain a formidable and ineffable power of propulsion, elevation, and growth with the condition that practitioner know how to move energy at all levels of his/her being.
Yet, do not forget that to experiment ecstasy you need to be able to embrace relaxation and control in simultaneity.
2 Essential Elements about smart eroticism
The Power to retain – Any mature individual has a certain control power over-excitation, due to the desire for being able to satisfy his partner. Named “power to retain”, this capacity is often developed by learning to focus mind from excitation on other aspects and not by conscious control of erotic energy. The true control of discharge
comes from knowing the own rhythm of excitation and not by ignoring it. The more you become aware of the growing pleasure, the easier is to learn controlling these basal impulses, and the better the preparation to enter the path of multiple orgasms without discharge.
Although relaxation and abandon are 2 basic elements of experiencing pleasure and orgasm (without discharge), in a superior intimate experience based on love – a man still has to keep a certain control and a full conscience of sensations, pleasure and erotic experiences – because an unconscious abandon may lead to an irreversible way to discharge and to cancel the complex processes that otherwise are learned and experiences in a superior intimate experience.
"Where does it go if not discharged?"
This is the most common question that beginners ask when they learn about erotic continence. When a man practices erotic continence, semen is transmuted and re- absorbed into the body, same like semen is re-absorbed into the body in the case of a man that had vasectomy intervention.
Through vasectomy, deferent vases are cut right above testicles and semen does not have a place to move. It is naturally reabsorbed in the man’s body. Known and accepted by science.
Here we need to mention that the transmutation and sublimation techniques that we teach in our programs are very different in effects comparing with vasectomy. Please note that we do not recommend this method to achieve biological transmutation of the procreative, erotic, substantial potential.
Quick introduction of the 4STEPS canvas
CONTROL – The process by which in an intense erotic intimate experience both (man and woman) do not discharge – by completely controlling the procreative, erotic and substantial potential, being both able to experience multiple orgasms and to sustain a longer intimate experience (Fig.26). One needs to practice specific techniques for control until it will become its second nature.
Due to these techniques new neural brain networks will be formed and gradually new traits will be developed. However, be aware if brain discharge networks were activated for years, a specific time of practice will be required to reverse this process. (see Neuroplasticity)
Paraphrasing Buddha, if one is able to control this energy, he will able to control any energy in his inner universe.
BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION – The process
by which a certain quantity of matter is transformed into another form of matter, at body temperature, in the same time liberating a surplus of energy, which is subtler, more refined than the source from whence it came.
The transmutation takes place when one applies erotic continence, thus practicing retention of procreative material, which become ‘effervescent" through intense intimate experience.
The process of biological transmutation has been discovered by ancient masters from East, thousands of years ago, and it was confirmed by modern science, through the work of Louis Corentin Kervran, Pierre Baranger, Jean Paul Biberian, and others.
Interview Excerpt
Helen: What happens to semen that isn't discharged where does it go?
Chris Smith, MD: Basically, any of the nutrients and goodies in the sperm just get recycled back inside the body, and new sperm is produced to make up for the shortage.
Helen: So it's a kind of continual, sort of, replacement, really…?
Exactly. Those that don't leave the body eventually break down and their components are recycled.89
CHRIS SMITH – Medical consultant specializing in clinical microbiology /virology at Cambridge University. Member of the University of Cambridge's Institute of Continuing Education (ICE)
The existence of biological transmutation allows the human being to rise above the condition of a physical body allowing the inner development at the highest degree.90 Intimacy plays a tremendous role in maintaining the mechanics of life.
Erotic biological transmutation consists of transforming erotic “material” (namely sperm and other sexual fluids) in another form of matter: very precious chemical elements that are no longer expelled from the body through discharge (or ejaculation) but absorbed and used by the organism.
1
2
Fig. 62 The four steps grid. Step 2 is 'either or'.
This inner transformation is accompanied by a net energy gain which further can be circulated on different levels
4 of practitioner’s being: physical, psychical, emotional, mental, or spiritual.
SUBLIMATION – The process of consciously refining and circulating the erotic energy resulted from transmutation is called sublimation. Erotic energy can be sublimated leading to various refined energies according to the person's choices (Fig.63).
3 Psychoanalysis explain sublimation as the socialization of instincts (how to change from nature to culture). Defence mechanisms are psychological mechanisms aimed at reducing anxiety.
They were first discussed by Sigmund Freud as part of his psychoanalytic theory and further clarified and conceptualized by his daughter, Anna Freud. She described 10 different defence mechanisms among which
sublimation was considered the only positive. Often unconscious, defence mechanisms are used to protect an individual from psychological discomfort, pain or anxiety.
For conscious individuals, sublimation is an activity that is determined by clear-cut factors and is used to build (gradually, then suddenly) new states which further create new traits (again gradually, then suddenly).
In Freud’s view sublimation is the re-channelling of psychic energy (which he believed was limited) away from common outlets to more positive outlets. In his theory, erotic energy, or libido, has limited expression due to repression, while containing a powerful potential for more creative endeavours.
Freud view sublimation as the process of transforming libido into "socially useful" (non-erotic) achievements, re-channelling or re-directing its impulses into superior, non-erotic, creative purposes. He mentioned art and that the resulted energy could improve human behaviours, culture, and ultimately civilization.
Freud considered sublimation – a volitive defence mechanism – as the most powerful and productive action for creative use of libido.
Sublimation is relatedto movement (circulation ofenergy), in other words, a conscious redirection of an impulse, and is considered a healthy and beneficial step. Alfred Adler called sublimation "the healthy defence mechanism" because if it worked like Freud said, it produced socially beneficial outcomes for humanity.
The theory of psychoanalysis presents sublimation as the socialization of instincts (how to change from nature to culture). The process is done by becoming aware and controlling the nature.
The same theory states that sublimation that is a non-pathogenic defence while all the other defences mechanism are potentially pathogenic. In summary, sublimation follows the transformation process of what is instinctive in man, captures the inner force generated and redirects this force for a constructive use.
Sublimation is a means in which the energy of the erotic instincts are used for non-erotic, intellectual, scientific, or artistic purposes. In the view of psychoanalysis theory, the sublimation capacity is specific only to the human erotic instinct, as opposed to the food instinct that does not accept long delays of satisfaction or a substitution object. However, this requires more investigation.
Smart eroticism transforms postponement of indefinite satisfaction to conscious pleasure and fulfilment through disciplined use of inner mechanisms that include intention, attention, and awareness. This ability makes sublimation possible.
Sublimation is primarily aimed at the energy of eroticism which further is integrate it for a superior meaning. Although in sublimation erotic energy receives another purpose, this conscious unleashed process does not diminish the powerful force of this energy.
In a 2013 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers looked at whether Protestants were more likely to sublimate taboo feelings into creative endeavours.
They found that individuals who experienced erotic problems related to anxieties over taboo desires were more likely to also have greater creative accomplishments than those who reported no erotic problems or those with sexual problems unrelated to taboo feelings.
The researchers suggest that their studies represent "possibly the first experimental evidence for sublimation and suggest a cultural psychological approach to defence mechanisms."
The new matter that results is reabsorbed by the body (especially through lymphatic system) and a high energy is generated and can be utilized at will.
Once transmutation is achieved, one can practice sublimation of the energies by directing the energy to the different levels (nervosa plexuses) and develop/improve distinct latent talents. In case one chooses to move energy at consciousness level it should expect an increase in intelligence, lucidity, will, higher power for analysis and synthesis, higher capacity for learning, improved memory, attention, and power to concentrate.
Suppose one needs to develop and increase self- confidence, optimism, effort capacity, humour, nerve, dynamism, and enthusiasm.
He/she will direct the energy generated in the abdominal plexus where our second brain is located. Or if one needs to develop and increase self-awareness, empathy, positive affect, compassion, kindness, altruism he/she will direct the energy generated on cardiac plexus using the specific toolkit for sublimation.
In our research, participants mentioned several other factors as a result of practicing Superior Intimacy model – yet more research is required – see pictures at beginning of each part.
MODULATION – The process of modulation (changing parameters that can be adequately changed according with some criteria and with specific circumstances) of the sublimated energy through an intentional, conscious
process is always a cause that unleashes specific, positive, and beneficial effects and creates the premises for rapid transformation in your inner universe.
Through the conscious process of specific modulation, a practitioner awakens, develops, and grows several meta- skills Fig 63.
KEY INSIGHT
4STEPS MODEL IS AN EXPERIENTIAL TOOL.
Written after a leadership seminar in Geneva in
Lausanne, Jan 2018
To facilitate understanding,we included in thismaterial basic definitions of modulation and demodulation
Modulation is the process by which some characteristics or parameters of the carrier wave is changed according to the signal containing the message (the message signal).
a frequency oscillator. These are used to modulate the original signal (message signal) that contains information and has to be transmitted. It is sometimes referred to as an information less signal.
Simply transmitting a message signal to longer distances causes various unwanted alterations in the signal itself. There exist several unwanted parameters that unknowingly causes variation in the message signal. Thus, to avoid this, modulation is performed.
The message signal, also known as modulating signal (signal to be modulated) is fed to the modulator. At the same time, a high-frequency carrier signal is also applied to the modulator whose characteristics are to be varied. Resultantly, a modulated signal is achieved at the output of the modulator. This modulated signal can be transmitted further to any certain distance. A diagrammatic representation of the process of modulation is shown below:
These characteristics can be amplitude, frequency, or phase.
MESSAGE SIGNAL
MODULATED SIGNAL
Modulation is a signal-processing operation for effective transmission.
Basically, it is assumed that the information signal (message signal) is a low-frequency one and thus needs conversion from low to high in order to have a proper transmission. To achieve this, it is needed to be combined (mixed) with the carrier wave.
What is a carrier wave?
A carrier wave is a high-frequency signal that has constant amplitude and frequency and is generated from
CARRIER WAVE
Definition of Demodulation
Demodulation is the process by which receiver regain the original message signal from the modulated one. As the name, itself is indicating that ‘de’ placed before modulation in demodulation is the reverse of modulation.
Modulating a signal is very useful as it allows us to have proper and long-distance signal transmission. At the same time, demodulation is also necessary in order to recover the particular message signal.
This is so because the receiver want to separate message signal from carrier wave and thus demodulation is done. When we talk about a demodulator that is responsible for demodulation then it is predefined that it is placed at the receiving end, according to its use. It basically receives the data as a signal.
This high frequency modulated signal is then processed further to get the actual information-bearing signal. There exist several techniques by which demodulation can be achieved. A modem is a device that is used for modulation and demodulation both. Hence modem is the name derived from modulator and demodulator.
Several techniques are used for the process of modulation and demodulation whose implementation depends on the area of need. Along with this various advantages and disadvantages are associated with different detection methods.
Key differences between modulation and demodulation
The key difference between modulation and demodulation is that modulation is done at the transmitter side while demodulation is done at the receiver side of a communication system.
Both modulation and demodulation occur during data transmission but the two processes are exactly reverse of each other. In modulation, original message signal is mixed with the carrier wave whose parameters are required to be changed.
As against, in demodulation the combination of carrier and message signal are separated from each other, to have original information signal.
Modulation requires a modulator section for mixing of the two signals whereas demodulation requires
demodulator to recover the original signal. However, a combined equipment is used for the two known as Modem.
Modulation is done to convert the low-frequency signal into a high-frequency signal. While at the time of demodulation, the low-frequency signal is achieved from high-frequency signal.
Modulation is basically done to transmit data to longer distances whereas demodulation is done to regain the original message signal.
Demodulation is somewhat a complex process when compared with modulation.
Conclusion
Both modulation and demodulation are the important processes involved in communication systems but their reverse operation differentiates the two. It is noteworthy that, the two processes must be compatible with each other in order to have appropriate data transmission and reception.
ASSESSING 2 COUPLES USING 4STEPS CANVAS WHAT'S YOUR ACTION PLAN?
Couple A
Control
Biological Transmutation
Sublimation
Low High
Woman
Control
Biological Transmutation
Sublimation
Low
Focus
Focus
High
Man Focus
Woman Focus
Modulation
Modulation
Assessment done by Couple A – practitioners –
Couple B
Action Focus by Couple A – next 12 months
Control
Low High
Woman
Control
Low High
Biological Transmutation
Sublimation
Biological Transmutation
Sublimation
Focus
Man Focus Woman Focus
Modulation
Modulation
Assessment done by Couple B –
Action Focus by Couple B – next 12 months
EROTIC CONTINENCE:
THE DEFINING CHARACTERISTIC OF GREAT LEADERS
A core leadership skill for the future
”While one falls down to the earth, the intelligent one gets up precisely with the help of earth.“
discipline and approach matters here as in all areas.
Tantra Sara
”Deep within humans dwell those slumbering; powers that would astonish them, that they never dreamed of possessing; forces that would revolutionize their lives if aroused and put into action.“
Orison Swett Marden
Erotic continent leaders are the most creative leaders, they inspire and effectively influence their organizational colleagues, energize customers, and position their companies on the front lines of societal transformation. They possess emotional wisdom and positive regard
Smart eroticism is an unknown, unstudied but important quality that distinguishes great leaders from excellent managers. Here is why.
They stand out from the crowd
Over the past 20 years, one of us have worked with and studied more than 108 senior executives in companies through board service, consulting, and research or teaching.
We've found that the defining characteristic of the best ones to make bold moves that positively transform their leadership performance and businesses is erotic continence. Although difficult to identify in our off- the task discussions many somehow declared that they integrated the aspect in a different way. They knew that
For them it is easier to take risks that go against the
dogma of their organizations. They are able to explore options and to make decisions with the potential for revolutionary change in their markets.
Their boldness, creativity, and ultimately inner energy inspire their teams, energizes customers, and positions their companies as leaders in societal transformation.
Smart eroticism is "the quality of mind and spirit that enables a person to control their erotic impulses,transform them into higher inner forces, and uses its energies for superior, non-erotic, professional challenging purposes like facing new performance targets, new competitors, market shrinking, profit decline etc., without fear rather with optimism and creativity; or creating organizational momentum, energizing new growth strategy, launching a new cutting-cost program, changing executive’s team etc."
Those leaders are able lead with principles and values that guide them when pressure mounts, again and again.
They don’t cancel or avoid bold actions because they fear failure, losses or bad reputation. They don’t need external adulation, nor do they shrink from facing criticism.
Smart eroticism is neither an intellectual quality nor can it be taught in the classroom. It can only be gained learning in couple relationship through superior intimate experiences involving personal learning, openness, and persistence
throughout the process as presented in this material.
Once you understand the hidden value of your intimacy, you are ready for a new start. A new start in everything, including your professional life.
Nothing counts more than healthy habits
As the old adage goes, how you do anything is how you do everything. Erotic continence comes straight from the heart. As Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh once said, "The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart".
It takes bold decisions to develop great personal leadership. If businesses are managed without self-control leadership then, most probably inner energy, vitality, creativity, strategic insights, charisma, and commitment to face typical challenges are diluted or weak. Greatness starts with superb people.
Continuing to have the normal erotic approach (discharge model) in your couple relationship as a leader can be a worse choice a leader can take regarding his/her inner resources.
largest distributor at that time launched a competitive service (moving up the value chain) instead, transforming both enterprises and creating a formidable competitor for us. It was this approach on intimacy that gave me the boldness, energy, and courage to choose short-term risk to create long-term gain, reinvent the business model, and avoid some years of expensive investments into programs and additional actions to sustain the market leader position we already had in the industry.
Emotions Drive Many of Our Decisions (whether we realize it or not)
Emotions will drive the choices and decisions we make today, and our success may depend upon our ability to understand and interpret them. When an emotion is triggered in our brain, our nervous systems responds by creating feelings in our body (also commonly called an “inner experience”) and certain thoughts in our mind.
Many or most of our choices and decisions are informed by our emotional responses. In summary, that’s what emotions do: to appraise and summarize an experience and inform our actions. But if an emotion is triggered,
just how much should we pay attention to our response
Many senior executives don't treat their intimate life with real interest and focus much more on managing to hit their numbers.
and the thoughts it creates?
For instance, if we have a fight with our partner, perhaps
we feel lonely or sad afterward. And let’s say that, over
They do not care seriously about their intimate life and avoid to explore and see the connections between intimacy and professional performance.
In my first 3 months as Managing Director for a multinational company in Central Eastern Europe, responsible for 3 countries, I passed up the opportunity to challenge the old business model because it faced limited growth opportunity. While those risks proved valid, the
time, we’ve turned to other stimuli to be able to find comfort or emotional relief when we feel this way.
Because we’ve turned to the other stimuli to relief the feeling, when we do that multiple times, we begin to build a habit in our brain. Our neurons literally start wiring together to establish this habitual response to the emotion.
Real leaders about measurable benefits
Let’s look at two recent examples of erotic continence leaders whose actions transformed their companies (disguised name):
Paul Adams – When Adams joined one of AON operations as managing director, he found a depleted organization, without any development strategy but with a massive dependence upon one single client – whose business was hard hit by the financial crunch.
Restructuring team, processes, and systems with an incredible speed succeeded to convert in less than a year a burning platform into a very fast vehicle, ready to challenge and overtake the top market competitors. His bold moves paid off, as the organization reshaped completely like a Phoenix, with a strong new sales attitude
with 10% annually. In both cases, Adams and Ridman were fervent practitioners of smart eroticism and described their benefits in our interviews.
Real leaders about measurable benefits
The leader's cohort that engaged with this practice (and discussed with us) includes Mr. Paul A from Aon, Mr. Nicole C from Unilever, Mr. Charles M from Novartis, Mrs. Joanna K from Tesla's, Mr. Michele S from Amazon, Mr. Ken M from Pfizer, and Mr. Liu P from Huawei. (Disguised names for confidential purposes).
They join the growing list of practitioners that have in- tense positive emotions, have high inner energy, and can make bold decisions to produce sustainable transforma- tions in their organizations yet they will not speak about this deliberate practice in public. Guess why!
and a very high engagement rate of the team, one of the
best in the region.
Dan Ridman, was named general manager for a food supplements manufacturer in 2002. Ridman foresaw the coming shift among consumers, especially the new generation, to plants and foods. He immediately introduced the strategy Working for People, that focuses on complementing the company's core products with healthy foods and tinctures.
In 2013, the company was challenged by new players to extend the company's offer, but Ridman steadfastly chooses not to. Instead, he restructured his leadership team to deliver strong near-term performance while continuing to invest in the distribution network.
Ridman’s arch-rival, another food supplement producer decided to extend in other adjacent segments, instead to concentrate on core business. As a result, firm sales are up 25% every year, while rivals stagnated or barely increased
To quote an advanced practitioner "smart eroticism is the most important of all the virtues because without it you can't practice any other virtue consistently".103
KEY INSIGHT
EROTIC CONTINENCE IS NOT RECENTLY INVENTED. THIS IS AN OLD PRACTICE WORLDWIDE, ESPECIALLY ADOPTED BY INFORMED INDIVIDUALS
Written after our participation at a conference (Le leadership, le travail d'équipe et la performance dans le monde du sport et de l’entrepreneuriat), Lausanne, Switzerland, Sept 2016
PRELIMINARY INSIGHTS FOR PRACTITIONERS – QUESTIONS TO HELP YOU DEVELOP SUPERIOR INTIMACY
Your personality creates your personal reality
”Your greatest measure of success at the end of your life comes down to one word: love.“
Warren Buffet
”Romantic love can be transforming – not just of the world but of the self. Being in love is a very good way of learning more about ourselves.“
Manfred Kets de Vries Distinguished Professor of Leadership, Insead
We believe that to find fulfilment in your life, you need to practice Superior Intimacy. The more you practice, the better you become.
In this way, you can easily find the unique purpose that life is calling you to pursue. But realizing it can take you many years – even decades – of experiences in the real world, mixed with reflections about what is most important in your life.
How can you discover your purpose so you can take steps to get where you want to go?
To that end, we’ve come up with this list of 15 questions to help you. Don’t answer them all at once. Take a day to carefully think each one through.
If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.
What do you think is the meaning of life? Do you contemplate often this in an organized way? Do you
explore openly this topic in your couple ? Do you live your life accordingly?
What do you love most about your current relationship? What do you wish you could do more of? What doesn't work and what is your action plan to address this?
When was the last time you told “I love you” to your part- ner? What would have happened if you would sincerely say
it more often?
Fill in the blank: My life is a quest for _. What motivates you? Career? Love? Happiness? Health?
What one word would you like your partner to use to describe you? What word do you think she/he currently uses?
Are you an integrated (in the flow) person? How do you know that? Do you care on being “in the flow” with a superior consciousness?
What would others say is your biggest strength? What would they say is your biggest weakness? What is your action plan to address flaws and move to the next level your strengths?
Do you have a specific list of behaviors that you want to develop in the next 12 months? Are you a deliberate practitioner when it comes for new behavior development?
What do you think you were put on this earth to
learn? What were you put here to teach?
List your core values. How often you reflect on them? When was the last time when you consciously updated your core values list? How do they match up with your partner’s?
What energizes you? What makes you feel depleted? What is your action for next 12 months to become a highly energetic and charismatic leader?
How do you create and capture inner energy? Are you committed to engage with Superior Intimacy practice? Are you successful with erotic continence? Are you able to achieve harmonious and integral sublimation?
Fast-forward 10 or 20 years. What is the one thing that you’d always regret if you had never pursued/ experienced it?
Who are your role models and mentors, both those you know personally and those who inspire you from afar?
Think about your talents. How can you use them to create more happiness in your couple relationship? What is your action plan in the next 12 months to grow your talents?
What legacy do you want to leave behind?
Now that you’ve answered these questions, step back and reflect? What steps will you take today to grow a highly charismatic leader within you?
For more insights to help you develop, grow, and nurture your Superior Intimacy practice, follow the coming book on this topic.
FRANCIS MARSHALL (1878 – 1949)
Eminent UK Physiologist
"Introduction to Sex Physiology" points out the need for such restraint over the reproductive function and the sublimation of the sex energy into higher cerebral forms of expression, as did intellectual geniuses of the past.
Fig. 68 Leading authority on sublimation
It offers a full, comprehensive approach to identify and develop your own unique inner capacity for continuous progress in life.
KEY INSIGHT
ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS IMPACTS OUR LIFE
CHOICES.
Drafted after our participation at ‘Orbs, L’autre Planete’ Symposium, Orleans, France, Dec 2015
REVERSE AGING THROUGH FIVE OF THE BEST
PRACTICES YOU CAN EVER DO
“I don’t want to understand aging, I want to treat aging.” Michael Fossel, PhD
”When we love, we always strive to become better than we are.When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.“
Paulo Coelho,The Alchemist
”Revolutionary goals are best achieved through evolutionary means.“
Zhang Ruimin, CEO Haier
Tai chi is made up of a series of graceful movements, one transitioning smoothly into the next. Because the classes are offered at various levels, tai chi is accessible, and valuable, for people of all ages and fitness levels.
“It’s particularly good for older people because balance is an important component of fitness, and balance is something we lose as we get older”, Dr. Lee says. Take a class to help you get started and learn the proper
109
No matter your age or fitness level, these activities can
form.
You can find tai chi programs at your health club,
help you get in shape and lower your risk for disease:
Swimming – one of the most pleasurable physical activities
You might call swimming the perfect workout. The buoyancy of the water supports your body and takes the strain off painful joints so you can move them more fluidly. “Swimming is good for individuals with arthritis because it’s less weight bearing”, explains Dr. I-Min Lee, Professor of Medicine at Harvard Medical School.
Research finds that swimming can improve your mental
community centre, or senior centre.
Strength training – how to keep your muscles in the right shapes
If you believe that strength training is a macho, brawny activity, think again. Lifting light weights won’t bulk up your muscles, but it will keep them strong. “If you don’t use muscles, they will lose their strength over time”, Dr. Lee says. Muscle also helps burn calories.
“The more muscle you have, the more calories you burn,
so it’s easier to maintain your weight,”
state and put you in a better mood. Water aerobics is
another option. These classes help you burn calories and tone up108.
Tai Chi – how to meditate while you keep your balance
It is a Chinese martial art that incorporates movement and relaxation — is good for both body and mind. In fact, it’s been called “meditation in motion.”
Strength training might also help preserve your ability to remember. Before starting a weight training program, be sure to learn the proper form. Start light with just one or two pounds.
You should be able to lift the weights 10 times with ease. After a couple of weeks, increase that by a pound or two. If you can easily lift the weights through the entire
range of motion more than 12 times, move up to slightly heavier weight.
Walking – easy to practice anywhere, anytime
Walking is simple yet powerful. It can help you stay trim, improve cholesterol levels, strengthen bones, keep blood pressure in check, lift your mood, and lower your risk for a number of diseases (diabetes and heart disease for example).
A number of studies have shown that walking and other physical activities can improve memory and resist age- related memory loss.110 All you need is a well-fitting and supportive pair of shoes.
Start with walking for about 10-15 minutes at a time. Over time you can start walking farther and faster until you’re walking for 30 to 60 minutes on most days of the week.
Kegel exercises – a secret key with multiple rewards
These exercises won’t help you look better, but they do something just as important — strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that support the bladder. Strong pelvic floor muscles can go a long way toward preventing incontinence.111
While many women are familiar with Kegels, these exercises can benefit men too. To do a Kegel exercise correctly, squeeze and release the muscles you would use to stop urination or prevent you from passing gas.
Alternate quick squeezes and releases with longer contractions that you hold for 10 seconds, and then release for 10 seconds. Work up to 5 sets of 50-75 Kegel exercises each day.
It means complete control of the procreative, sexual and substantial potential during lovemaking, biological transmutation of the erotic fluids113, sublimation of the energy resulted, and modulation through specific techniques as intended by one or both lovers.
This implies that the couple will experience complete union with the possibility of reaching multiple orgasms that will build new neural networks
This model of love fusion does not end with discharge (ejaculation) for men nor an explosive discharge of sexual fluids for women, and constitutes a powerful source of creativity for every human being.
It is an efficient method for exploring, wisely using of available resources, and even amplifying existing strengths. A form of joyful remedy, a formidable natural
therapy available to everyone at any time no matter the education, culture, age, faith, or gender.114
Meditation – the excellent instrument for your inner development
Meditation is about training in awareness and getting a superior, expanded and healthy sense of perspective. You’re not trying to turn off your thoughts or feelings rather you’re learning to observe them without judgment. Eventually, you may start to better understand them as well. Learning to meditate is like learning any other skill.
Think of it like developing an inner capacity that you’ve never really worked out before. It takes consistent practice to get comfortable. And it’s usually easier if you have a teacher. We’ve got you covered there.115
Hatha Yoga. Whilst the origins and practices of the many aspects of yoga and hatha yoga still remain rooted in ancient times, one thing is for sure – the hatha yoga practices, including asanas (Fig.39), pranayama, mudras, bandhas, prathyahara, mental concentration, and meditation techniques – create a fast, positive, and lasting change when integrated with proper inner energy (that comes from erotic continence) and a superior state of consciousness – and this is something they’ve always been intended to do.
These techniques change how we feel not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually too. They enhance feelings of happiness and well-being, help eliminate sadness and grieving, encourage relaxation, dynamism .
We may not all be able to become ascetics and renounce worldly responsibilities in favour of yoga practice, but we can use our yoga practice to become more connected, more vital, and more engaged with world we live in.116
KEY INSIGHT
FOR PRACTITIONERS TOOLS EXIST
Written article after our participation at Glastonbury
Symposium, July 2017, UK
Fig. 69 A body-posture that helps energy circulation in Superior Intimacy practice
QUESTIONS&ANSWERS
What participants ask?
“We, all of us, live in a continually unpredictable world where personal reinvention, no matter if you are twenty or seventy, is an ever-present possibility (if not necessity). Innovation is a lifestyle more than a discipline, and innovating the very essence of your persona is the new, next frontier.”
Bill Fischer, Professor, IMD Lausanne
”A healthy intimate life can reduce stress and make you more recharged for the long workdays ahead.When you have emotional intimacy in your life, it can help normalize any challenges you may be facing in your career, and it might even help push you further towards your professional goals.“
Helen Odessky Psy.D., psychologist and author of Stop Anxiety From Stopping You
5 dimensions of Superior Intimacy model sound like much to experience and learn. Where I should start from?
Take it one step at a time. In our experience, executives picked the most important dimension for them at the moment of learning. It’s a choice and it varies from case to case. Doing so takes deliberate practice and you won't do everything on the first day. Start practicing with one and then gradually engages with all 5.
I get worried sometimes. There are other people in my organization who seem to be successful and they do not know about the Superior Intimacy process. Is Superior Intimacy really related to performance or is it only for a personal relationship?
While those other people might be successful in the short term, they will not achieve sustainable high performance and we would question their work-life integration.
Buddha once said – "if you can control sexual energy – you can control any energy in your being".
This is an important skill. Think of emotional regulation, self-control, and self-awareness. In Superior Intimacy you develop all 3 in simultaneity and you also extract multiple benefits for your health, vitality, longevity, charisma, and power.
How would you take the relevance of your professional career and what you’re now teaching at Inner Alchemist program, and share this with individual entrepreneurs and social innovators?
Leadership today is about alignment, empowerment, and collaboration between people to accomplish a common task. To practice alignment, empowerment, and collaboration you need immense inner energy. You can fake it but you will not make it.
The workforce nowadays is changing drastically in front of our eyes, they can read you and your credibility might be affected. Also the large bureaucratic and in-agile structures are being changed from within by Millennials and Gen Xers because they don’t tolerate bureaucracy or inertia.
There is a need to change the relationships and to value the people doing the work. We need fewer managers and more genuine and energetic leaders.
The real issue is that we need to change our relationships away from a boss/subordinate, and instead toward one where the leader inspires, resonates, and empowers the people around them.
Again to be able to inspire people, to create positive resonances in teams, and to empower others – you need inner energy. If you can get agreement on the mission and values around that common task, then you can accomplish anything. The question of how’s stays.
So how does a leader today train himself or herself to become skilful in fostering collaboration, alignment, and inner energy?
We recommend that people learn Superior Intimacy because it builds in them the capabilities required for high leadership effectiveness. Everything starts with yourself — you need to start with yourself.
Developing vitality,self-awareness, emotional regulation, and self-control aren't easy — you have to go through a process of self-reflection and introspection about things that are really important to you. And it helps you to be in a couple relationship — which is a safe and beautiful platform where you can get real coaching and exercise continuous learning.
Is there value in using your couple relationship to help you become a charismatic leader?
It’s the best vehicle for learning; it may scare some but definitely helps one to go deeper into their beings. And your spouse can be such a secure base for you.
This should not be superficial though. For instance, who knows better your vulnerabilities, your weaknesses,your biases, and those things that you hide or avoid to address? Working on this issue in your couple helps you discover
the real and authentic you. Changing your behaviors during lovemaking will reinvent your relationship for the better.
In the erotic field, there really isn't a credential body for people who are training in eroticism and leadership development. Is there a concern about the quality of eroticism training?
In most of the cases the leader is the credential bodies that shut down creativity. Take Tao or Tantra system (the authentic one)- they don’t need to have a credential body, and neither other traditions. Those are known for ages by thousands of practitioners. Why did the Yellow Emperor, the founder of Chinese culture, practice erotic continence?
Or take famous stars like Sting, Raquel Welch or other famous athletes, politicians, and even CEOs – why did they bother with the mysterious energy of life creation? We encourage people to practice, to check our statements in practice and to convince for themselves.
How do I know if I achieved complete erotic continent?
A period of time of specific practice is necessary with intimate experiences, in which no drop of semen is lost (and for women a significant suspension of the menstrual cycle).
The simple fact that we do not discharge does not necessarily mean that we have reached excellence in realizing erotic continence. It is only the second phase of the process – named transmutation of the procreator, substantial, and sexual potential.
The real results in this direction leave visible marks on our appearance – increased vitality, higher enthusiasm, and charismatic force – and produce a continuous expansion of the conscience. You will be first to feel and know.
What prevents me from realizing sexual continence?
Inconsistency. 70-80 hours of work per week leaves no time for preparation; watching television like a lighted candle; endless surfing social media, or other extra non- inspiring activities.
The happiness, satisfaction, fulfilment, and benefits, which we can get through Superior Intimacy, leaves no place for comparison. Despite all this, many fail the test of consistency.
Non-sublimation of the erotic energies. This is the real test of fire for the practitioners of Superior Intimacy and from here come the problems connected to eroticism.
The intention, attention, and awareness with which we start to make love powerfully marks the quality of the intimate experience. To really achieve sublimation one needs consistent practice with a specific sublimation toolkit. This behavior is, actually one of the challenging once you end the ecstatic experience of lovemaking.
We use conscious pleasure,to capture,and to amplify inner energy only to use it further for non-erotic leadership purposes. In this way, you can lift yourself to different levels of happiness, satisfaction, and fulfilment. On top of this, emotional self-control and leadership charisma are developed.
Mental or physical superficial excitement.
The powerful desire to view erotic images, to make love in new places, in different ways, with erotic equipment more or less complicated, all these are related only to pleasure and implicitly to the mind. The ego needs fresh food (sensations, ideas) and always requires an update. The subject does not matter very much (in this case, eroticism). Because we are mainly mental structures, it
explains why man's imagination works in 3 shifts. Yet the uncontrolled game of the mind presents a huge danger for practitioners: the wet dreams. They are like a valve of the subconscious, which materializes in this way the scenes from the day. Sad, but… the biological tribute can be avoided.
The old model of erotic satisfaction must be replaced with a intense intimate experience that helps you access unexplored depths of your being, using the vehicle of erotic energy. Conscious pleasure becomes a springboard and not a pool where we plunge. On the other hand, it is much easier to practice erotic continence with the significant other when the erotic sensations are especially subtle.
The visual excitation can fixes our attention too much on the pleasure, not helping the sublimation of the erotic energy, and making not easy to control the discharge. Still, in a couple, based on authentic love and transfiguration, the controlled imagination enriches the paradise of the two lovers in an ineffable way.
Fear and fear of failure. To make mistakes is human nature; to repeat the same mistake is a sign of ignorance. And look where fear comes: “What will I dream tonight? I hope to wake up in time; I hope that I exercised enough techniques in the evening…". Fears do not help. Actually, because of resonance, they amplify the possibility of this undesirable fact to happen.
The positive mental attitude is a real help in this direction. The best moment is when you make love with your significant other. More precisely, when you enter the state of orgasm (without discharge). Then the mind takes a welcomed break and the access to the subconscious is made much easier.
Bear in mind that the effects are really powerful.
The enormous erotic energy amplifies your thoughts, and the reference to an idealistic masculine model during the erotic game embraces you in a triumphant aura.
Lack of attention and memory. This means not being engaged with the practice. A couple of daily specific exercises will not make us masters in the art of Superior Intimacy. This is not enough.
A sustained attention, consistency, discipline and patience are necessary to break the chains of habits and to attain biological transmutation that will supply the energy for any leadership trait you want to improve/develop.
The absence of love. For many, this passage seems the last and probably the least important, compared to the general subject. But it is not so at all. Love has an essential role in the model of Superior Intimacy.
It is the flame that will transform the lead into gold. It is the source, the inner journey, and the destination of those who chose to put in practice this model.
Are there signs that reveal nocturnal pollutions?
Of course, but in this case, it does not occur like in the movies. We open the window from our living room and on the sand next to the toboggan a seagull moves his leg legibly enough, saying: “Careful tonight!”
It is not really like this. It is more about situations in which it happened and it’s likely that such events will happen again. We just have to identify them: a global state of excitement, a constant subtle pressure on the genital organs, erotic activation without the sublimation of the resulting energies, accentuated tiredness, watching XXX movies, rich meals during the night, aphrodisiacs in excess, uncontrolled imagination, erotic obsessions,
lack of spiritual activity etc. To prevent fatal moments, we must become very attentive with ourselves. The human body is gifted with natural intelligence. If something, somehow crumbles its balance, it will let you know. Read that and act.
Engage with the specific techniques. For maximum efficiency two aspects are key: the time of execution and the intensity of the concentration. We practice until the frequency of vibration specific to the erotic energy is completely modified into a more refined, elevated frequency. The inner state created is clearly different from erotic pulsions.
One thing to know: one swallow doesn’t make a summer. Not even through three. You need to practice for some time. In fact, this becomes a way of life unless you want to procreate; Remember that to achieve, maintain, and improve complete erotic continence, a consistent mutation in the conscience is necessary.
How long do I have to practice techniques after one amorous act with complete erotic continence to be sure that the erotic energy was completely sublimated? It depends from case to case. If we are profound and conscious when we make love, and the transmutation and sublimation forces are well developed, you do not need many additional hours at the end of the amorous game.
In general, it is good that you do not make such an evaluation immediately after the postlude. The energy is still effervescent and you can be mistaken.
But approximately after 1 hour, everything that you have not sublimated (only transmuted) will start to descend, especially if you start to eat immediately. So, pay attention to yourself and adapt/adjust accordingly.
Which are the simplest ways to sublimate the energy?
The classical ones are largely presented in our leadership development programs. Sublimation is the third step in the framework of erotic continence. To practice sublimation, you need first to control and transmute the fluids.
Then sublimation can begin. Do not skip steps. For maximum efficiency 2 aspects are key: the time of execution and the intensity of the concentration.
We practice until the frequency of vibration specific to the erotic energy is completely modified into a more refined, elevated frequency.
The inner state created is clearly different from the initial erotic pulsions. A spontaneous tendency for introspection appears while a general state of fulfilment remains for several days afterward.
Some variants for the inner alchemy are dance, art in general, intense intellectual study, body postures etc. However, for an efficient and effective sublimation we recommend a proper toolkit to be known and practiced. To become charismatic a reflective attitude is needed.
What can help me to become successful with erotic continence?
Perseverance, discipline, and patience, because repeated exercise is what makes the master. In the initial phase evaluate yourself in all five dimensions of the model.
Then please consider adequate techniques to address the challenges. A key part is to go through the methodology and understand the why. Then look at the how.
Practical techniques include physical, energetic, and mental techniques, integration of the actions, a very good vitality, ability for mental concentration, the will
to sublimate the entire erotic energy, self transfiguration, association with an advanced practitioner, some form of austerity, aspiration for self-development, medicinal plants etc.
How can I stop discharge suddenly, in case of danger?
The best is to not reach that point. The external blockage is a procedure (pressuring powerfully the point situated between anus and genitals), nevertheless, it is not 100% sure. If we do it too late, we risk losing some quantity of seminal liquid inside the body (approximately 40% – 60% will be eliminated later with the urine).
Another method is to strongly grip the base of the penis with the right hand. The key is the moment when we attain these methods. After the point of no return, there are no solutions that can help.
What do I have to do, to extract leadership value from the erotic act?
First, understand the model and the interplay between its dimensions. Then learn complete erotic continence through practice. The theory makes only the beginning. Once erotic continence is realized, your inner development will accelerate.
Achieving erotic continence by default brings a leapfrog in your ability for self-awareness, self-control, and mind focus. Empathy, vitality, and inner power are also improved significantly even after only one successful intimate experience.
Since I‘ve started to practice, my desire and erotic energy developed. Is this good?
Yes – it is normal. Your spouse I guess is happy. Use that in an intelligent manner, say for improving your state of vitality. Engage with specific techniques for a
period of time. Erotic continence is a tool and not the end. You engage first for leadership development and have conscious pleasure (while in erotic intimacy with your significant other) as the background of the entire experience. Hedonism is not a synonym for our model.
Why do some men who know about thismodelcontinue to discharge?
Start with why. If a man really understands what’s behind this model (I mean the benefits) he will put the effort, time, and practice to achieve a state of complete control. Then it’s up to him to use the energy for different aspects he wants to improve.
What does erotic continence look like in the real world of business?
This is a personal practice that has multiple benefits
– only for practitioners. Vitality, empathy, emotional intelligence, mental focus, creativity, willpower, and intuition are some of the qualities that you develop once you practice systematically, attentively and persevering the model of Superior Intimacy.
Are there any risks associated with the practice?
Yes, you risk to become happy, fulfilled, satisfied, highly energetic and with very high creativity.
Why the current medicine science does not speak plainly about this?
There are famous medical doctors that recommend the practice yet the model didn’t make the mainstream attention as it was wrongly associated with strange things. If you want to procreate engage intimacy in a normal way. If not we propose to practice this toolkit.
What do you mean through highly charismatic leadership?
In a nutshell, we say that highly charismatic leadership is high on influencing skills, high on vitality, high on creativity and high on emotional intelligence. The model propose that an underutilized source, ignored or treated as trivia is in fact a source of benefits- much more than what the current mainstream of leadership science has investigated so far.
Would this practice influence my professional relationships at office?
Yes- you will create a better version of yourself which will be noticed among colleagues, superiors, directors.
Do Ineedto be in acoupletopractice erotic continence?
Yes – you need to be in a couple relationship (man and woman) to engage with erotic continence as presented in the Superior Intimacy model. If you're not, you can still prepare for the moment when you will be.
Isn’t this a bit too hard to swallow for a leader?
This is a personal practice – as you do meditation every morning, or jogging, swimming or something else – the same when you have an intimate experience. It makes the difference in the life of any leader only if he/she chooses to practice it. As a celibate, you can also learn and practice transmutation and sublimation, and benefit out of this.
KEY INSIGHT
HEDONISM IS NOT A SYNONYM FOR OUR
MODEL.
Written in Bucharest, 2018
Visuals for more clarity
"One gram of practice is more than one ton of theory while there is nothing more practical than a good theory."
1st VISUAL
The how of building new behaviors
Fig. 67 Based on our internal study.A proposed practical path for behavioral change.
2nd VISUAL
Personal deliberate practices impacts leadership performance
RUNNING Has Strong Scientific
Evidences, Fact Based
MEDITATION Has Solid Scientific Evidences, Fact Based
Impacts Leadership Performance
✔
INTIMACY Has Preliminary Scientific
Evidences, Fact Based, More Than an Opinion ✔
Fig. 70 When rational observers have different background beliefs, they may draw different conclusions from the same scientific evidence.
3rd VISUAL
Sources of Inner Energy.What about a new source?
FOOD
SLEEP
WORKING OUT
INTERACTING WITH OTHERS
OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES
SOCIAL ACTIVITIES
Fig. 71 The four steps grid. Step 2 is 'either or'.
HATHA YOGA
TAI CHI/MARTIAL ARTS
MEDITATION
4rd VISUAL
Positive psychology, summed up in 3 words: "Other people matter”, Chris Peterson
Couples can create happier marriages by applying the science of positive psychology to their relationships. Three key activities for flourishing: cultivating positive emotions in your daily life, developing a harmonious or healthy passion, and remembering to seek out and celebrate the good times rather than just focusing on fixing problems.” (Pileggi, S. 2010).
Positive emotions have a direct effect on resilience, which in turn helps build a strong sense of life satisfaction (Cohn and colleagues, 2009).
Positive emotions have been shown to have a positive impact on relationships (romantic, friends, and family), therapy and counselling outcomes, grades and academic achievements, and personal development (Linley, Joseph, Maltby, Harrington, & Wood, 2009).
A sense of sacredness can be beneficial in a marriage (Mahoney, A., Pargament, K. I. & DeMaris, A. 2009).
When we are uplifted or elevated, our hearts are opened and our thoughts are more focused on others than on ourselves (“Algoe, S. B.
& Haidt, J. .Witnessing excellence in action:The “other-praising” emotions of elevation, gratitude, and admiration. 2009).
Several positive emotions lead to a variety of health benefits, including: Happiness resulted in increased risk- and variety-seeking and gain- focused behavior; contentment resulted in increased risk avoidance and loss-focused behavior (Herzenstein, 2008).
Positive emotions encouraged organizational citizenship behavior (an employee’s voluntary commitment to non-obligatory or non- mandatory tasks that benefit his or her organization) as well as
increasing work engagement; additionally, they had a double positive impact by decreasing negative attitudes and behaviors that are not in line with organizational values (Avey,Wernsing, & Luthans, 2008).
A meta-analysis of several studies found that well-being was significantly related to good cardiovascular functioning, general health, and longevity overall (Howell, Kern, & Lyubomirsky, 2007).
Positive emotions (in the form of hope, optimism, and resilience) were found to not only increase job satisfaction, work happiness, and organizational commitment, but also to improve employee performance, measured by both self-report and organizational performance appraisals (Youssef & Luthans, 2007).
Positive affect modulates the relationship between host resistance and disease onset or progression (Marshland, Pressman, Cohen, 2007).
Positive emotions have positive health effects (Rasmussen, Wrosch, Scheier, & Carver, 2006).
May foster resilience and coping (Tugade, Fredrickson, & Barrett, 2004).
Positive affect associated with greater resistance to objectively verifiable colds and fewer reported cold symptoms (Cohen, S., et al., 2003).
Improve physical health (Cohen et al., 2003).
Broaden Attention and Thinking (Fredrickson & Branigan, 2002).
5th VISUAL
Relationships is one of the 5 key elements of flourishing in Martin Seligman model of well-being
Prevent depression (Fredrickson,Tugade,Waugh, & Larkin, 2002).
Fuel Resilient Coping (Fredrickson,Tugade,Waugh & Larkin, 2002).
Increase well-being (Fredrickson & Joiner, 2002; Tugade & Fredrickson, 2002).
Build optimism, tranquillity, and resilience (Fredrickson,Tugade,Waugh,
& Larkin, 2002).
Lead to longevity (Danner D, Snowdon D, Friesen W, 2001).
Emotional state and motivation assessed by autobiographical writing, e.g., contentment, gratitude, hope, love, at start of career (n=180 Catholic nuns, mean age 22) (Danner, Snowdon & Friesen (2001).
Positive emotions support coping and buffer against stress, even in very difficult circumstances (Folkman & Moskowitz, 2000).
Lead to creative thinking and more flexible and successful problem- solving (Isen, 2000, Positive affect and decision making).
Undo Lingering Negative Emotional Arousal (Fredrickson & Levenson, 1998; Fredrickson, Mancuso, Branigan & Tugade, 2000).
Facilitate longer-term motivation and goal seeking behavior such as approach behavior (Cacioppo & Gardner, 1999).
Provide undoing effects of cardioreactivity after negative emotions
(Fredrickson, 1998).
Increase work productivity (Marks & Fleming, 1995).
Facilitate continued engagement (Carver & Scheier, 1990).
Helps you modulate your reaction to stress and allows you to recover from the negative effects of stress more quickly (Ong, Bergeman, Bisconti, & Wallace).
Positive emotions lead to well-being, to positive individuals, to flourishing communities, and to a just society. (Seligman, M.E.P. , J. Building human strength: Psychology’s forgotten mission. 19980).
Positive emotions have led to enhancements and improvements in work life, physical and mental health, social relationships, community involvement, and income, all of which are either directly or indirectly related to work (Danner, Snowdon, & Friesen, 2001; Lyubomirsky, King,
& Diener, 2005).
Increased positive emotions resulted in increased clarity surrounding expectations in one’s role, effective and value-congruent use of organizational resources, fulfilment in one’s role, better relationships at work, and a general increase in the ownership employees feel over their work and the creativity that drives innovation and contributes to organizational success (Harter, Schmidt, & Keyes, 2002).
The more positive emotion an individual experienced on the job, the higher their pay and better their supervisor evaluations were 18 months later (Staw, Sutton, & Pelled, 1994).
MBA students with higher positive emotions performed more accurately on a decision-making task than students with lower levels of positive emotions. (Staw and colleagues, 1993).
6thVISUAL
The heart development is more important than the brain development
PLAYING FOR INNER GROWTH
FOCUSED ON PRESENT MOMENT
HEART EYES
AIMING FOR INTEGRATION
CREATING HEART COHERENCE
THE FUNDAMENTAL BASE FOR HARMONIOUS HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
SEEING AND NURTURING POTENTIAL
Fig 72 Its not only about the mind’s eye but also the heart eye.At HeartMath Institute, scientists discovered that heart has a electromagnetic field 5000 times bigger than that of the mind.
7th VISUAL
Radical new perspectives requires high inner energy and exceptional inner states
POWER, ENERGY, FOCUS
Fig.73 In Superior Intimacy both lovers experience exceptional inner states and net energy gain in simultaneity, thus creating the premises for accelerated transformation.
8th VISUAL
Your capacity to love should be consciously developed
CHANGEABLE CAPACITY FOR LOVE
CHANGEABLE
CAPACITY FOR INTEGRATION
CHANGEABLE CAPACITY FOR COMPLETE EROTIC CONTINENCE
CHANGEABLE
CAPACITY FOR TRANSFIGURATION
CHANGEABLE CAPACITY FOR DIGNITY
Fig 74 Capacity for any pillar in the Superior Intimacy model can be improved through specific practices.
9th VISUAL
Your capacity to practice Erotic Continence should be continuously developed
CHANGEABLE
CAPACITY FOR 1
COMPLETE CONTROL
CHANGEABLE
4 CAPACITY FOR MODULATION
CHANGEABLE CAPACITY FOR BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION
2
CHANGEABLE CAPACITY FOR DIRECT TRANSFORMATION
CHANGEABLE
3 CAPACITY FOR SUBLIMATION
Fig.75 Based on our internal research. Interview with beginners, and insights from advanced practitioners.
10thVISUAL
4 steps canvas and corresponding key questions
COMPLETE CONTROL
What acts, activities and techniques should I practice to achieve and maintain perfect control of sexual, procreative, and
substantial potential?
BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION/ DIRECT TRANSFORMATION
What acts, activities and techniques should I practice to sustain complete biological transmutation / direct transformation of
sexual, procreative, and substantial potential?
MODULATION
What acts, activities and techniques should I practice to fructify the sublimated energy that sustain continuous TRANSFORMATIONAL CHANGE?
SUBLIMATION
What acts, activities and techniques
should I practice to sustain integral subli- 3
mation of the inner energy generated?
Fig. 76 The four steps grid. Step 2 is 'either or'.
11th VISUAL
A Complex Mix of Positive Emotions in Your Couple Relationship
Fig. 77 Understanding how couple relationship could become a laboratory for accelerated transformation.
12th VISUAL
The model of Superior Intimacy is impacted by several factors
Forces that impact longevity of your couple relations
Compatibility | Common Goals | Commitment Willingness To Learn | Laughing Together
Fig. 78 Valid also for practitioners of the Superior Intimacy model.
13th VISUAL
Understanding the bigger picture with a better, smarter, and more inclusive way
14th VISUAL
Superior Intimacy is the source for transformational change
POWER FOR TRANSFORMATION
PLAYFULNESS
Fig. 80 How the model of Superior Intimacy creates inner value.
15th VISUAL
Comparing the two approaches
16th VISUAL
Challenging the current dogma!
Research key question “How is your intimate experience?
Findings: "A very short phase of stimulation, intro-mission, few moves and a discharge
for him, then…he go to sleep. ”
”Sex and Sexuality” 1994, PhD Maria Mandru Ungureanu
"Omnia animalia post coitum triste."
A woman is right to ask "What is this?"
You can reflect if this is the best that intimate experiences can offer for both woman and man!
What about EROTIC CONTINENCE based on love, integration, transfiguration, and dignity?
Fig.81 The need for a new model.
17th VISUAL
How to solve premature discharge? (scientist view)
PHYSICAL
Targets the sensations you feel during intimacy
BIOFEEDBACK
Regulating your own neurophysiology – or the way your body responds to physical sensations
THE SQUEEZE
Well before discharge signals, stop, and squeeze right at the base of your lingam (penis)
PELVIAN MUSCLE DEVELOPMENT
Conscious control of all muscles in pelvian area
PSYCHOLOGICAL
Targets your worries, stress, or other psycho- emotional, mental factors that may explain
your quick trigger
Breath Control- Regulating your breathing
Mind Concentration- Learning to work with the monkey
Meditation- Learning how to practice meditation
"Premature discharge is a problem that affects almost any men." Thomas J.Walsh MD,
Associate Professor of Urology, University of Washington
Fig. 82 Summary of ideas from Thomas J.Walsh work.
18th VISUAL
What activities to perform to feel ecstatic?
High
ENERGY
Low
Unpleasant FEELING Pleasant
To feel ecstatic = To experience high energy + To experience high pleasure
19th VISUAL
Portfolio of Initiatives in a Creative Couple Relationship
Fig. 84 Adapted from Paul Strebel work, IMD Emeritus Professor.
20th VISUAL
The flow of semen formation
FOOD CHYLE BLOOD FLESH
FAT BONE MARROW SEMEN
Fig. 85 Ayurveda, the most ancient medical literature also gives descriptions about semen loss. Ayurveda mentioned ‘semen is derived from marrow which is formed from flesh and blood in stepwise manner’.Blood is formed from food. Therefore, semen is derived from food in a multi-step process of purification and filtration. During each step of this process there occurs forty times condensation and ultimately one drop of semen is formed from 40 drops of bone marrow. Due to these reasons, semen is considered as highly precious body fluid. It is also mentioned that semen attributes to physical beauty, physical strength (energy) and mental strength (intelligence and memory). Loss of semen leads to loss of happiness, loss of memory and loss of vigor.
21th VISUAL
The 3 essential levers for 4steps canvas
Function (Intention, Attention, Awareness)
Function (Intention, Attention, Awareness)
Function (Intention, Attention, Awareness)
1 COMPLETE CONTROL
BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION
2
DIRECT
TRANSFORMATION
MODULATION 4
SUBLIMATION 3
Function (Intention, Attention, Awareness)
Function (Intention, Attention, Awareness)
Fig. 86 The combination of intention, attention, and awareness is a powerful toolkit for developing high charisma.
22th VISUAL
Becoming Smarter – "Nurture is more important than nature"
7 Habits that Science says will make you smarter
Meditate
Learn New Language 3.Stretch your musical talent
New Learning Techniques
Positive Emotions
Exercise 7.Read
7 Habits that we recommend to become smarter
Meditate
Practice Integration 3.Practice Laya Yoga
New Learning Techniques
Engage Intense Positive Emotions through Erotic Continence Practice
Practice Body Postures 7.Breathing Techniques
WHAT PEOPLE SEE
SUCCESS
WHAT PEOPLE DON'T SEE
DEDICATION HARD WORK GOOD HABITS RESILIENCE SACRIFICE ENERGY PERSISTENCE
“In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits.They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success; without effort.They’re wrong."
“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work … This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.Virtually all great people have had these qualities."
“Teaching a growth mindset creates motivation and productivity in the worlds of business, education, and sports. It enhances relationships.When you read Mindset, you’ll see how.”
Dr. Carol Dweck, Ph.D.
Fig.87 Want to become charismatic? Practice, practice, practice!
23th VISUAL
Classical 10 behaviors of an Effective leader
Set the Right Direction
Involve all key stakeholders in the creation process of vision and strategy.
Adapt Strategy To Each Situation
Flex your strategy to address unexpected changes (internal or external).
Highly Energetic, Committed and Involved
Be the champion of energy, promote change and be committed to lead your team into the right direction.
Communicate and Engage at All Levels
Make sure you’re heard and understood but also be able to listen and sense how your stakeholders are feeling about it and get their engagement and commitment.
6. Provide Resources As Needed
Support your team with timely resources to ensure the excitement makes the strategy come true.
8. Promote Positive Emotions within Organization
Keep projecting a positive energy in your organization.
Keep Improving
Promote continuous learning and continuous execution while keeping your mind open to new trends and ideas.
Recognize Contribution and Success
Rewards raises team productivity and keep team spirit high.
Reach Key Milestones and KPI’s
Give your team key milestones and KPI’s to channel; them in the right direction.
Walk The Talk And Talk The Walk
Translate vision into clear-cut behaviors and live them.
Fig.88 Understanding why inner energy is the fundamental enabler for a leader..
24th VISUAL
The How of Superior Intimacy from a different perspective
Vitality Focus Power (Example)
Potential to be used for non-erotic purposes
ENERGY INSPIRATION CREATIVITY
Erotic Continence skills are like any other skills
– you can get better at them. It’s about repetition, reflection, and learning.
"Potential is nothing unless you extract value out of it through discipline, practice, and again practice."
Cristiano Ronaldo
"There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good morals; it can destroy bad principles and re-create good ones; it can lift men to angelship." – Mark Twain
Fig.89 How the model of Superior Intimacy can unleash potential.
25th VISUAL
How we approach this complex taboo
WHAT YOU SEE TODAY
A taboo to avoid
Surest bullet to destroy reputation, image, or career
Sex scandals everywhere
Explosion of global porn high consumption
Very limited formal and institutional education
Most utilized driver in marketing campaigns
Essential pillar for movies/ shows
WHAT WE PROPOSE
Changed perspective
Intense, conscious, and positive emotions as levers for transformation
Erotic energy used for superior, non-sexual purposes
Love, beauty, joy, happiness, fulfilment, satisfaction, meaning
Very limited formal and institutional education
An immense opportunity for reinvention
Superior Intimacy based on love, integration, transfiguration, dignity, and erotic continence
7
We Don't
No Trivia No Porn
No Physical Interaction in the class No Embarrassment
No Personal Details No Difficult Languages
7
We Do
Methodology, Tools, and Techniques About love and not sex
Relevant, insightful, and actionable research Delivered by Practitioners
Practical Insights Multidimensional Impact Practitioners Testimonials
26th VISUAL
2 Essential Techniques for Control development
MULA BANDHA – strong contraction of the root of the spine, the pelvic floor or, more precisely, the perineum. The perineum is the muscular body between the anus and the genitals.
ASWINI MUDRA – strong contraction of the anus muscles, maintained for as long as possible.
Fig. 90 Different but a conjugated impact on control capacity of procreative potential.
27th VISUAL
Abdominal Retraction – An Effective Technique for the practice of Erotic Continence
Fig. 91 Description at page 126.
PRACTICAL TECHNIQUES – PC MUSCLES
Simple exercises for smart eroticism
Training your pubo-coccygeal muscle (PC muscle) is an essential practice in the awakening and control of the pro- creative and substantial potential.
Any man who desires to learn Superior Intimacy will have to pay close attention to the exercises aiming to strengthen the PC muscle.
This muscle sustains the pelvic floor, and is stretching from the pubic bone to the top of the coccyx. This is also the muscle that contracts in the moment of discharge (men) or orgasm with discharging of the procreative and substantial energy (women).
A powerful PC muscle contributes both to enhancing the erotic intimacy pleasure and to the control of the erotic energy and is essential in the practice of complete erotic continence. The contraction of a physical area brings about the concentration of the energy in that particular area.
In the case of powerful contraction of the pubo-coccygeal muscle, the procreative and substantial potential is channelled and then “transformed” along the spine towards the upper parts of the body, including the brain nervous centres.
The PC muscle acts as a real pumping system for the procreative and substantial energy, inside the body, to upper levels of the brain. Mental focus has an important part at this stage.
It is highly recommended that the powerful contractions of the PC muscle to be accompanied by an appropriate mental focus in the upper parts of the body.Thus, the procreative and substantial energy is build up and “moved” upwards, then
made to stay and mostly accumulate in the area in which we focus our mind. If we do this technique of focusing on a specific part of the body during lovemaking, we will have the possibility of experiencing complex states of orgasm that correspond to that particular part of the body. Another benefit drawn from a good development of the PC muscle is the risk reduction for prostate problems.
In both men and women, a healthy, strong PC muscle decreases the danger of bladder problems, because the contractions of the muscular tissue increases the blood-flow ensuring the health of the genitalia and of the bladder.
Identifying the PC muscle
The first step in performing these exercises is to identify this muscle. The muscle that will become tense at the point when you stop the urination is the PC muscle.
Exercise 1- For daily practice (90 days):
Contract the PC muscle and maintain the contraction for 3 seconds. Do not hold your breath while you contract the muscle. Breathe as freely as possible.
Relax the PC muscle.
Repeat steps 1 and 2 twenty to 100 times.
You may practice it anywhere, and anytime. You may do it while you shower, immediately after you went to the toilet, while you watch TV or any other activity.
Exercise 2 – For daily practice (90 days):
Inhale and focus on the area of the prostate, perineum, and anus.
Exhale and contract the PC muscle around the prostate and anus, contracting in the same time the muscles around the eyes and lips.
Inhale and relax, releasing the PC muscle, as well as the mouth and eyes muscles.
Repeat steps 2 and 3 contracting the muscles while inhaling and relaxing them while exhaling. Do 50 to 70 repetitions. The contraction of the facial muscles helps the strong contraction of the PC muscle.
You should practice these exercises 5-7 times a day.
There are two typical errors in the practice of these exercises:
Exaggerating the number of contractions from the first sessions. Remember that the PC muscle is a muscle just as any other, and it may become sore. Stay relaxed and do not force in any manner. Increase the number of contractions gradually in one session.
The contraction of another muscle along or instead of the PC muscle. When you do your PC strengthening, it is important that the muscles of the abdomen, thighs, and buttocks remain relaxed.
In the beginning, you may contract these as well, but in time through persevering practice you will learn to isolate the PC muscle from the other muscles.
If you have problems in locating the PC muscle, you may
A useful way of helping you in your daily practice routine is to associate the exercises to your daily habits, such as waking up in the morning, the shower, or getting into bed at night.
Exercice 3 – After 3-4 weeks of daily practice of the above exercises, you are ready to approach the following exercise:
Inhale and focus your attention in the pelvic area.
Exhale, contract the PC muscle, and keep the contraction for 10 to 15 seconds.
Inhale and relax the contraction. Stay relaxed for 5 seconds.
Repeat steps 2 and 3, contracting the PC muscle while inhaling and relaxing it while exhaling. Do 10 up to 50 repetitions on one session.
You may need several weeks in order to get to 50 slow contractions during one session. Be patient, practice gradually, and do as many repetitions as you can, without forcing anything. When you start feeling the results, you will see that you will not be able to dispense yourself from these exercises.
6 months from
now on +12 months
put your finger on the muscle while urinating during the first repetitions. For the muscle to become strong and fit,
Strong y/n
specific action plan to achieve
specific action plan to maintain
there are necessary about 3-4 weeks, interval in which you have to practice the 2 exercises daily.
Once you begin to get accustomed on how to contract the PC muscle, the daily practice will continue until you become completely successful in preventing the procreative energy
Weak
Don't know (very weak)
y/n
y/n
do minimum do minimum
do nothing do nothing
from discharge while in intimacy with your loving partner. Fig Strength assessment of your PC muscle
KEY LEARNING POINTS
”Everything changes when you change.”
– Jim Rohn
”Leadership is one of the most observed and least understood phenomena on earth.“
James Macgregor Burns
”The strength of the body, the light of the eyes, and the entire life of the man are slowly being lost by the loss of the vital fluid.“
Mahatma Gandhi
To become widely accessible, erotic continence needs to become a field of science the same way meditation became a field of science.
To START THE JOURNEY OF BECOMING THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF,
ask 3 deceptively simple questions. Am I happy today? Do I have a meaningful life? How do I start making the change? The practice of Superior Intimacy is a man challenge, not a Superior Intimacy challenge.
"I guess you don't need a sophisticated Stanford study to accept that Erotic Continence works", said a good friend of one of us when presented the case
of his father who at 87 years old was erotically active in a romantic relationship (without any pills whatsoever).A very easy method is
TO STOP
at times and focus during our fusions; the stops will be short in the beginning, 10-20 times, not
more than 1-2 minutes each.
When a man practices erotic continence,
SEMEN IS TRANSMUTED AND RE-ABSORBED INTO
THE BODY
same like semen is re-absorbed into the body in the case of a man that had vasectomy intervention. Here we need to mention that the transmutation and sublimation techniques that we teach in our programs are very different in effects comparing with vasectomy.
The process of biological transmutation has been discovered by ancient masters thousands of
years ago, and it was confirmed by modern science, through the work of Louis Corentin Kervran, Pierre Baranger, and others.
WHEN THE BRAIN SYNCS WITH THE RHYTHMS OF THE INTERCOURSE,
a person may experience increased attention and focus, the same kind of effects that you gain from meditation. When this happens, a person enters a
state of sensory absorption or trance.
A person who learns
HOW TO CONTROL
his instincts, desires, lust, becomes his own master, he gains more control over his whole being, over his own life, relations.
Semen is the unique material substance from the human body that can create life. It contains many treasury ingredients which are responsible for living longer, feeling energetic, being full of life, creative, happy, productive, and even intelligence.
The practice (or art) of separating orgasm from discharge is an
essential step in erotic continence.
Through the practice of erotic continence, you gain and have multiple benefits while in a traditional approach you lose and expose your body to
accelerated deterioration.
In a study on PubMed in 1991 "Semen conservation doctrine from ancient Ayurvedic to modern
sexological theory", it showed how the ancient doctrine of semen conservation has a long philosophical history in Europe and Asia.
Many executives recognize that
INNER ENERGY is
at the base of high self-awareness which is the starting point of leadership effectiveness.
Erotic continent is neither an intellectual quality nor can it be taught in the classroom.
Organizational leaders can benefit from imagining organizational "end- states" during strategy sessions.
WHEN LOVE FLOODS OUR BEING, WE EXPERIMENT A STATE OF INTENSE HAPPINESS AND FULFILMENT.
When you make room for another person’s point of view and ask “why” instead of immediately assuming the worst, you are actually inviting true
communication to occur.
What energizes you? What makes you feel depleted?
Meditation is about training in awareness and getting a superior, expanded, and healthy sense of perspective.You’re not trying to turn off your thoughts or feelings rather you’re learning to observe them without judgment.
ABDOMINAL RETRACTION
gives the one who practices it consequently the capacity of controlling (through transmutation and sublimation) the substantial, procreative, and sexual potential.
VITALITY, EMPATHY, EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE, MENTAL FOCUS, CREATIVITY, WILLPOWER, INTUITION
are some of the qualities that you develop.
SUPERIOR INTIMACY AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
DEVELOPS ENHANCE NURTURE
Emotional Intelligence
The ability to monitor, understand, and integrate one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use these insights to guide one’s thoughts, emotions, choices, behaviors, and actions.
e·mo·tion
e’moSH(e)n/ noun
a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others
instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge
a conscious mental reaction subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body
a psychological state that arises spontaneously rather than through conscious effort and is sometimes accompanied by physiological changes
feel·ing
/’feeliNG/ noun
the one of the basic physical senses of which the skin contains the chief end organs and of which the sensations of touch and temperature are characteristic.TOUCH – a sensation experienced through this sense
the overall quality of one’s awareness
conscious recognition
mood
/mood/ noun
a state or quality of feeling at a particular time.
a distinctive emotional quality or character.
a prevailing emotional tone or general attitude.
frame of mind disposed or receptive, as to some activity or thing:
INVENTORY OF POSITIVE EMOTIONS
KEY POSITIVE EMOTIONS
"Multicomponent response tendencies that last a short period of time." (Fredrickson, 2001)
"Inner experiences that are both intense and pleasurable." (Cabanac, 2002)
AWE
An emotion that is evoked when you witness something grand,
spectacular, or breathtaking, sparking a sense of overwhelming. .
AFFECTION
An emotional expression to someone or something, accompanied by a liking for them and a sense of pleasure in their company.
ALTRUISM
Referred to as an act of selflessness and generosity towards others, but can also describe the feeling you get from
helping others.
ADMIRATION
A feeling of warm approval,respect,and appreciation for someone or something.
AMUSEMENT
A feeling of light-hearted pleasure and enjoyment, often accompanied by smiles and easy laughter.
BLISS
Complete happiness.
ENJOYMENT
A feeling of taking pleasure in what is going on around you, especially in situations like a leisure
activity or social gathering.
CHEERFULNESS
A feeling of brightness, being upbeat and noticeably happy and positive; feeling like everything is
going your way.
CONFIDENCE
Emotion involving a strong sense of self-esteem and belief in yourself;
can be specific to a situation or activity, or more universal.
CONTENTMENT
Peaceful, comforting, and low-key sense of happiness and well-being.
ENTHUSIASM
A sense of excitement, accompanied by motivation and engagement.
EAGERNESS
A less intense form of enthusiasm; a feeling of readiness and excitement for something.
ELEVATION
The feeling you get when you see someone engaging in an act of kindness, generosity, or inner goodness, spurring you to aspire to similar action.
EUPHORIA
Intense and the all-encompassing sense of joy or happiness,often experienced when something extremely positive and exciting happens.
GRATITUDE
A feeling of thankfulness, for something specific or simply all- encompassing, often accompanied by humility and even reverence.
HAPPINESS
A feeling of pleasure and contentment in the way things are going; a general sense of enjoyment of and enthusiasm for life.
HOPE
A feeling of optimism and anticipation about a positive future.
INTEREST
A feeling of curiosity or fascination that demands and captures your attention.
INSPIRATION
Feeling engaged, uplifted, and motivated by something you witnessed.
JOY
A sense of elation, happiness, and perhaps even exhilaration, often experienced as a sudden spike due to something good happening.
LOVE
The strongest of all positive emotions, love is a feeling of deep and enduring affection for someone, along with a willingness to put their needs ahead of your own; it can be directed towards
an individual, a group of people, or even all humanity.
OPTIMISM
Positive and hopeful emotion that encourages you to look forward to a bright future, one in which you believe that things will mostly
work out.
RELIEF
The feeling of happiness you experience when an uncertain situation turns out for the best, or a negative outcome is avoided.
SATISFACTION
A sense of pleasure and contentment you get from accomplishing something or fulfilling a need.
SERENITY
A calm and peaceful feeling of acceptance of oneself,situational context..
SURPRISE (the positive ones!)
A sense of delight when someone brings you unexpected happiness or a situation goes even better than you had hoped.
ANNEX A – GLOSSARY
Androgyny
The word androgyny is related to the Greek term androgynous (man and woman inside one being), originating in Andros (the genitive for ander, or man) and gyne (woman). The original androgyny is a fundamental and anthropomorphic depiction of the Cosmic Egg that we encounter at the dawn of all cosmogony as well as at the end of all eschatology, for the poles of the fundamental unity are located in the alpha (beginning) and omega (end) of the world and of the manifested being. Opposites merge into unity, whether this takes place potentially or during a final integration and conciliation.
The Romanian historian of religion Mircea Eliade quotes countless such examples from Greek, Egyptian, Iranian, Nordic, Chinese, and Indian religion. It is natural for this image of a primordial unity, once applied to humanity, to acquire an erotic expression, often depicted as innocence, virginity, or prime virtue, the "golden age" that was once lost and needs to be regained.
The mystiques of all genuine spiritual currents tells it clearly: the duality of the world we live in is apparent, false, illusory, deceiving. By becoming its slaves, we commit sin, and the only redemption is the perfect emergence with the Godly reality, namely the return to the fundamental unity. This first separation creates division at the cosmic level, differentiating day and night, Heaven and Earth, being similar to the Yang (+) and Yin (-) principles and adding the hot and cold, up and down, masculine and feminine attributes to these fundamental contraries.
In Rig-Veda, the androgyny is depicted as the godly milking cow that is at the same time the godly bull with its powerful seed. "One gives birth to the two" (Yang and Yin), according to Tao Ti Ching; the primordial godly Adam, who was not a man but a perfect androgyny, becomes Adam and Eve; and so on. Androgyny is often depicted as a double being having the simultaneous attributes of the two sexes, still united yet on the verge of separation.
This mainly explains the cosmogony significance of Indian erotic sculpture. Shiva, an androgynous divinity identified with the informal principle of manifestation, is often represented holding Shakti (the Eternal Feminine), his own power depicted as a feminine deity with a very beautiful body, large and firm breasts, emanating overwhelming femininity.
One can also notice androgynous aspects of Adonis, Dionysus, Cybele, and Castor and Pollux of the Greek tradition, and of Izanagi and Izanami of the Japanese tradition. Examples vary because ultimately, any divinity – as the old Greek theologies prove is seen as bisexual,
not needing any lover for procreation or for love. This androgyne, who possesses extraordinary psychic powers, represents, as Mircea Eliade underlines in some places, the entirety of the beneficial, vital, psychological mental, and spiritual forces, perfectly unified in the same human being, that combine and synthesize the qualities of the 2 sexes.
Therefore, the state of androgyny, as a sign of realization of the whole, appears both in the end and at the beginning of the world. According to the eschatology view on redemption, by completely attaining the androgynous state, a human being truly recovers the heavenly, godly plenitude, where gender separation is cancelled.
In fact, this is the mystery of the couple united by frantic, profound love, and this is the sacrament of marriage as it is depicted by Shiva lovingly embracing Shakti in eternity. Nevertheless, the universally stated belief in the original unity that humans acquire post-mortem, after leaving this material world, is accompanied, in most cosmogony systems, by the imperative to totally differentiate the sexes in our world. Ancient beliefs meet the most contemporary biological discoveries because they both claim that the human being is never born fully polarized from the psychological and erotic point of view.
The fact that humans are at the same time both man and woman, both at the level of the body and at the level of vital, psychological and mental principles, represents a fundamental law of creation, just as the faith of the millinery tradition claims. The most widely spread explanation of the primitive circumcision and excision rites originates in this concept.
They aimed at the total integration of the child within the apparent gender, since the female clitoris is reminiscent of the virile organ (+), and man's foreskin is reminiscent of the feminine. Man and woman, in their original form, had a single body endowed with two faces. God separated them, giving each of them one face. From that moment on, the man and the woman started to have differentiated lives.
According to patriarchal traditions reflected in the myth of Creation, saying that Eve was born out of Adam's ribs actually means symbolically that originally the human wholeness was still undifferentiated (a perfect androgyny).
Origen and Gregory of Nyssa discovered in the first man created – not accidentally – in God's own image a perfect androgynous being. The godliness that man was invited to share made him and should make him, require this androgyny, lost by the divided Adam and recovered by the new praised Adam. In the New Testament, several texts refer to this godly, heavenly unity.
Atman — The Supreme Immortal Self
The human being has 2 'selves'. The Real Immortal Self, called Atman or Purusha and the relative, ephemeral and false self, called ahamkara. According to ancient wisdom, the Supreme Immortal Self (Atman) does not exist at all as a part of the objective or subjective manifested world. It is eternal and unborn; it does not grow and defies all change; it does not decay; it never alters and does not die, being eternally almighty and immortal. In early childhood, when outer impressions and the environment have not yet left their contaminating mark, the toddler sometimes radiates flashes of the Absolute Real Self (Atman).
However, the more he advances in knowing the ways of the physical material world in which actions and behavior influence his appetite and desires, and stir his desire for comfort and progress, he starts to weave for himself an illusory cloak called personality or ego (ahamkara), through which the exterior world knows and relates to him.
Brahmacharya – restraint; retaining fully conscious control of sexual function
Brahmacharya represents one of the five behavior rules (Yama) mentioned in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: (1) Ahimsa (non-violence); (2) Satya (truth); (3) Asteya (not stealing); (4) Brahmacharya (restraint, or erotic continence); and (5) Aparigraha (non-possessiveness).The Sanskrit word Brahmacharya means continence; restraint; fully conscious control of the erotic function; transmutation, sublimation, and modulation of the resulted energies, both by men and by women; and mental focusing, all of these being fully achievable through daily practices and by the fully controlled exertion of erotic activity. Through Brahmacharya, one pursues the complete control of the procreative, sexual,and substantial potential without cancelling the possibility of exerting the erotic function.
The person has the options of (a) giving up erotic activity and making the best through certain techniques to channel the erotic potential, gradually transforming it into other forms of energy, such as vitality, inner dynamism, pure love, mental force, spirituality – all outside any erotic or sexual experience; or (b) integrating an erotic, sexual, amorous activity in which one pursues the complete control, or continence, of the sexual function through intelligent exertion.
As a principle, one pursues the complete separation of orgasm from discharge (ejaculation), suspending the latter for an indefinite period, regardless of the duration, intensity, and frequency of intimate experience. Discharge (ejaculation) is only recommended when the couple pursues procreative purposes, aspiring to conceive a baby.
Consciousness – the essential identity of the being
Consciousness is the state or quality of awareness or of being aware of an external object or something within oneself. It has been defined variously in terms of sentience, awareness, qualia, subjectivity, the ability to experience or to feel, wakefulness, having a sense of self-
hood or soul, the fact that there is something "that it is like" to "have" or "be" it, and the executive control system of the mind. Despite the difficulty in definition, many philosophers believe that there is a broadly shared underlying intuition about what consciousness is.
As Max Velmans and Susan Schneider wrote in The Blackwell Companion to Consciousness: "Anything that we are aware of at a given moment forms part of our consciousness, making the conscious experience at once the most familiar and most mysterious aspect of our lives."The nature of consciousness has been a major philosophical issue through the history of the millinery yoga system.
Many schools of thought are in agreement with the idea of the transcendent character of consciousness, saying that it is not a product of the mind-body group and even less a simple emanation of the brain. The obvious transcendental nature of consciousness is believed to be realized in a philosophical way through itself and is most objectively verified by means of the highest states of cosmic consciousness.
Fundamentally speaking, first of all, consciousness is a sum of complex processes of simultaneous resonance. For every human being, consciousness remains a big enigma, because it is neither measurable nor quantifiable. Shortly, we could say that consciousness is, in fact, a general state of awakening and reacting to many internal or external stimuli that trigger various and simultaneous processes of resonance within our microcosm. Consciousness allows human beings to be in a complex relationship with their own self, with the immediate and distant environment, and with the macrocosm.
All vital signs, physical, mental, supra-mental, spiritual, etc. depend on each other. Being aware means, above all, to be very carefully paying attention to what is happening here and now in your inner universe, and to see it clearly enough. Consciousness is not a function among others but it springs from many functions. Human consciousness is much more than the sum of the parts.
Laboratory research has shown that the human brain's activity varies depending on the state of consciousness. Brain activity is slower during sleep than the normal so-called 'standby' state, which has been a called 'alpha'. Scientists have segmented the different states of consciousness according to the rhythm of electrical activity as 'alpha', 'beta', 'theta', 'delta' or ‘gamma’. Mysterious states that are different from `standby' ones are called 'transformed states of consciousness'. It shows that our consciousness plays an immense role in revealing the Ultimate Truth within.
Couple
Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. There are many kinds of love, but most people seek its expression in a romantic relationship with a compatible partner. For many, romantic relationships comprise the most meaningful aspect of life, providing
a source of deep fulfilment. The need for human connection appears to be innate, but the ability to form healthy, loving relationships is learned. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most people have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make a couple relationships endure and flourish. Determining wither a connection reflects temporary infatuation or true love can sometimes be challenging – research suggests that there are revealing clues in behavior. One possibly counter-intuitive indicator is one's sense of self. A good partner can push people to discover new activities or beliefs that expand their self-concept.
Another is stress: repeatedly interacting with someone whose impression matters deeply can fuel anxiety. Other indicators include being highly motivated to see the person and investing a significant amount of time, emotion, and energy into the budding relationship. Love is fascinating and complex. Romantic love, in particular, seems to be a beautiful mystery we find hard to explain. During romantic love, there are many changes that both men and women experience. It seems rather inaccurate to say "falling in love" because experiencing love is more of a high that puts people on cloud nine.
“The first step in the process of falling in love is the initial attraction,” says Elizabeth Kane, a South University adjunct faculty member who teaches clinical psychology and behavioral science. “It’s the powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.” According to licensed psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle, specific chemical substances such as oxytocin, phenethylamine, and dopamine, have been found to play a role in human experiences and behaviors that are associated with love. They function similar to amphetamine, making us alert, excited, and wanting to bond. It's a powerful moment when we meet another person and feel energized and are immediately aware of our heart pounding.
“Falling in love is associated with increased energy, narrowing of mental focus, sometimes sweaty palms, light-headedness, racing heart, and a lot of positive feelings”, says Needle, an Associate Professor and coordinator of Clinical Experiences at South University, West Palm Beach.
In his book, The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life, Dr. Daniel G. Amen says that "romantic love and infatuation are not so much of an emotion as they are motivational drives that are part of the brain's reward system.” According to the triangular theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg, the 3 components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and bondness. Commitment encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other person.
Some researchers say oxytocin plays a part in the evolution of romantic love as it is released in the brain during orgasm, which contributes to the couple’s ability to bond with one another.” From the esoteric point of view, the man-woman couple is a reality of Creation. The story of Creation from Genesis refers to a humanity divided into two genders that existed from the beginning.
Emotion – a global, preponderantly psycho-affective reaction, which spontaneously appears as a response to a given situation
Emotion is an intense, global reaction of the entire microcosm of a person, often spontaneously manifested when the person confronts a particular situation or stimulus. Even if the emotion sets the resources of the entire being into motion, the reaction that it represents is psycho-affective and can be of any duration. Emotion also represents a form of deep participation in a situation, and it always generates
– in the sphere of the psyche and the mind – the manifestation of a particular significance, characterized by a pleasant or agreeable tonality or its opposite.
Although there – are numerous modern, scientific studies concerning emotions, nevertheless, their nature, 'manner of action, and generation remain hypothetical and mysterious for most people’. To advanced yogis, who by a persevering spiritual practice have managed to properly awaken the mental centre of command and control, the nature of emotions can reveal itself in its entire complexity, such that you will be able to perfectly understand and control the entire emotional reality of his own inner universe.
Corresponding to the characteristics of the stimuli, the emotions can be positive (+), and experienced like a pleasant state of a psychic order, relaxation, and satisfaction, or they can be negative (-), associated with states of tension, stress, depression, suffering, insecurity, or psychic discomfort. According to the amount of energy that set the state motion, the emotion can manifest itself with different degrees of intensity, from very refined, barely noticeable to very strong and explosive.
The intensity of emotions especially determines its role in the activity the person performs at that time. According to their nature and intensity, emotions always generate, in the person's individual microcosm, various physiological manifestations, and they also cause certain corresponding modifications of the mental functions or even generate the appearance of characteristic behavioral manifestations, such as laughter or crying.
The emotions that a person experiences depend not only on the nature of the emotional agent but also on the specific way in which they are manifested. Therefore, emotions depend on the actual psychic, mental, or even physical state of the being, on her specific personality features, on past experiences, and on the impressions left by these experiences on the field of the individual consciousness.
For this reason, the experience of various emotions always remains something personal. Emotions have a role that regulates or enhances the activity that the person performs. For this particular reason, the nature of emotions should be understood as good. Very strong emotions should be properly controlled and brought into awareness, because due to a large amount of energy that is then set in motion, such emotions can determine impulsive, explosive phenomena, which can prove detrimental when not fully controlled. The production of emotional states has a complex character while emotions can be provoked, evoked, or anticipated.
Empathy
Empathy is, at its simplest, awareness of the feelings and emotions of other people. It is a key element of emotional intelligence, the link between self and others because it is how we as individuals understand what others are experiencing as if we were feeling it ourselves. A mother intuitively knows the needs and feelings of her baby, with whom she is and spontaneously remains in empathic communication. This apparently mysterious capacity (that is latent in everyone) is genuinely related to the baby being one with his mother's body and being in the beginning. Empathy, as a spontaneous state, also explains the way in which even very small children are keenly in tune with the concerns, anxieties, and joys of their parents.
The profound state of empathy is always at the basis of specific processes of identification, which are achieved in advanced stages of yoga practice, and furthermore, it facilitates the psychic, intimate understanding of other people, particularly those with whom we seek to have superior, ideal relationships or communication. The term empathy was first used in 1898 by Kahe Sipps. He was referring to knowing and understanding other people by mirroring and resonating within our own being.
Thus, empathy is an intuitive modality of knowing others as a form of affective communication and immediate sentimental transposition, allowing identification with other people at the intensity with which they experience a certain situation. Profound and ever-present empathy can be the most easily noticed in harmonious amorous relationships, in which both lovers succeed in accomplishing erotic continence.
Empathy is a sympathetic intuition, or a form of affective identification, which allows in our being a state of transposition – through resonance
– to the vibratory conditions that are lived or felt by someone else. Empathic phenomena are often signalled in organizations, where they are interpreted as a superior form of knowledge, an ineffable reflection within our inner universe of the states and experiences of certain beings (especially people). Empathy instantly allows the projection of a person's specific internal states to the inner universe of the one who empathizes, such that the latter gets to clearly, internally experience the life of the former in itself.Although its role is often
ignored, empathy is obviously implied in adopting the social role of a person, in empirical psychic knowledge, in any act of inter-human communication; it represents what we might call interpersonal sensitivity. We can consider the phenomenon of empathy as a tight interrelation and ineffable resonance between the cognitive, the affective, and the organic. The empathic ability allows us to identify and predict the inner moods and psychic acts of another person, and for that reason, it is an important differentiating factor, which has an important role in discriminative processes.
The empathic ability is the most important component of the artistic talent, especially of the acting one. Here, in the empathic process of scenic transposition, guided imagination has a great importance. In the empathic process are included, among others, the different perception of another person's gestures and expressions, from which one starts to intuit her subjective states through substitutive imagination, which is a basis for the approximate triggering of the same experiences and for their projection on the other person, so that he understands by resonance.
Thus, empathy is a process of identification, which is achieved as a modelling in one's own self – through thinking, feeling, or action – of someone else's self (present or imagined with the help of a photo, for example).
Energy – a power to generate change
This term comes from the Greek word energeia, which means "manifested in an action." It is also close to the verb energein, ‘to act’ or ‘to produce’, in the Greek language and to energon, which means ‘in action’ or ‘active’. From a physical viewpoint, energy is a manifestation of the capacity to generate certain modifications. In the nineteenth century, the concept of energy became central in physics, especially in calculating the amount of specific force that is strictly conserved in various processes: gravitational, elastic, kinetic, electric, magnetic, and thermal.
Beyond its strict meaning, energy is also used in multiple metaphorical ways in psychology and even in physiology. Energy is the basis of atoms and molecules. They are in a constant state of vibration, more or less intense. In the material universe, the molecules have a much reduced vibratory frequency, and different forms vibrate with a constant frequency, under the influence of various energies that thus maintain them the way they are. This is what gives an appearance of solidity to terrestrial bodies and objects.
The more reduced the respective vibratory frequency, the denser the respective object: the chair on which we sit, the pen that we hold, the house in which we live, and of course our bodies – all imply various forms of energy that act in the frame of certain resonance processes in every moment. Energy points out the aptitude of performing a certain action or a mechanical work. Energy is the expression of force
that produces a certain action or that points out the particular force that is in action. Energy constitutes one of the 4 basic components of manifestation, the others being matter, information, and, the universal aspect, resonance.
Mental activity, like any other activity, requires the use – by means of resonance processes – of a certain amount of specific energy that each person absorbs by means of his capacities, which differ from one human to another, being more or less awakened. Few people know that, for example, the intelligence of a person largely depends on the amount of mental energy at his disposal.
From a psychological viewpoint, energy indicates both the existence of the capacity to make effort as well as the existence of the required will to use the entire force at a person's disposal by triggering resonance between the microcosm and the macrocosm. Nowadays, one knows that there is a great number of forms of energy; caloric, mechanical, electrical, electromagnetic, vital, psychic sexual, affective, mental, spiritual, volitional, atomic, nuclear, free, divine. The principle of equivalence, the principle of biological transmutation (at body temperature), and the principle of sublimation of energies, which are specific to the sphere of the living, allow one to pass from one of these forms of energy to another.
The kinetic energy (of a moving body), also called dynamic energy, and the potential energy (of a body that is at rest and situated in a field of forces) are the two forms of mechanical energy. In the case of a closed system, their sum (which is then considered total energy) is constant. While classical physics consider energy to be an attribute of mass, Einstein's relativistic physics points out the equivalence of mass and energy. He established this equivalence in 1905, in the framework of the special relativity theory.
The practitioners of Superior Intimacy prove, in their way, the transformation of mass into energy, when they systematically practice lovemaking with continence and manage to separate orgasm from discharge (ejaculation) by the use of specific techniques, thus transforming matter – sperm for men and the characteristic sexual secretions for women (or, in other words, the creative potential of their being) – into energy. Subsequently, this is transformed into different useful and deeply beneficial forms of energy, by means of sublimation, thus enriching the inner universe of the person, according to the level (affective, mental, spiritual) toward which it is directed to be accumulated.
Biologically, energy is part of the power of life, the living force of the organism. Hence, we have the notions of flux, of a subtle current of energy, which are easily pointed out – in the frame of the persevering practice of Superior Intimacy – by certain phenomena that appear. Psychologically and morally, energy underscores a great vigour in action and expression, as well as a considerable strength of character.
Esoterically and metaphysically, energy illustrates the force or the feminine universal power of God that, in the Eastern tradition, is known by the name of Shakti.
Eros – dynamism of the amorous expression of love
The superior Eros is the Platonic symbol of the subtle energetic spiritual impetus toward truth, happiness, harmony, unity, goodness, and beauty; inferior Eros is the symbol of the sexual instinct of reproduction.In Greek mythology, Eros is the son of Poros (Richness) and Penia (Poverty) because he zealously wishes either to offer front his superabundance (his effervescent richness of qualities) to those who deserve it or to unite (fuse) and thus awaken and realize (obtain) that which he does not have. From here derives the overwhelming mystery and dynamism of love.
In psychoanalysis, Eros is the ensemble of integrating drives of life, manifested through libido, dominated by the principle of polarization (+ and -) and of pleasure, which is often repressed by society (the principle of reality). Eros, as an erotic manifestation, is the correspondent of sexual instincts, functioning as the cohesive factor of everything that is vital. Psychoanalysts draw attention even to "the cellular libido," the application of the libido concept to the rapport between cells, finding that the sexual instincts and the instincts of life act in each cell, partially neutralizing the instincts of death (the processes provoked by them) and maintaining life.
Eros has exerted its functions since the appearance of living matter, is the very instinct of life, opposite the instinct of death (Thanatos). The fact that the libido can be invested and that it constitutes a manifestation of the sexual instincts (determining the preservation of life) makes the initial opposition between the instincts of the self and the sexual instincts insufficient. Freud considers Plato's Eros as very close to sexuality, although sexuality is not reduced to just the genital function. Freud uses the term "sexual" in the meaning of Eros.
On the other hand, for Freud, the notion of Eros becomes synonymous with the drive of life. Thus, the forms of manifestation of the subtle, mysterious energy of Eros are, in many cases, evasive, masked, symbolic, or imaginary. The path of superior realization of life through creation (in the Platonic meaning) is, possible by setting in motion the processes of biological transmutation of the creative potential, followed by the sublimation of the resulting energy through perfect erotic continence.
Happiness – an inner state of absolute contentedness and satisfaction
This inner state of intense, total and profound, stable, and long- lasting contentedness represents the peak of a human being's optimal existence. Happiness is a state of full satisfaction that is above all characterized by its plenitude and stability. Some scientists claim that happiness must be strongly related to a certain success in our activities.
According to their vision, the most elevated human activity is that of wisdom. Discovering the ultimate truth and then staying fully fixated on it generates inside the human being genuine happiness that is complete, profound, stable, and without an object. Great philosophers believe that happiness designates that disposition of the soul of a human being who eventually lives life according to primordial nature. For decades, the field of psychology has largely focused on addressing the negative—investigating what was "wrong" with us, or relieving suffering from depression, trauma, and addictions.
But over the last decade, we've seen a significant shift: Scientists are now turning their attention to what makes people thrive. What thoughts, actions, and behaviors make us more productive at work, happier in our relationships, and more fulfilled at the end of the day?
That is the focus of the field of positive psychology, often referred to as the science of happiness. Positive psychology doesn't turn a blind eye to suffering or psychological illness, but it does encourage individuals and even communities to adopt practices that can boost optimism, increase resilience, and live happy, engaged lives. So, can we really train ourselves to become happier? The science says yes. Our happiness level is a result of a complex interaction of genes, behaviors, and what's going on in our lives at a specific moment in time.
And while each of us has a genetic set point for happiness, we have the ability to offset it, which brings us to the most important takeaway from the scientific research: You have the power to take control of your happiness by choosing your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Recent research into the types of interventions, or exercises, designed to promote positive emotional qualities, such as kindness and mindfulness, suggests that such qualities may be the product of skills we can learn through training—in the way that practice improves our musical or athletic abilities. Over time, we can build lasting habits that increase our resilience and improve our happiness levels.
Harmony – concordance and perfect agreement
Etymologically, the word harmony (originating from the Greek Harmonia) represents the concordance, agreement, and tuning in of musical notes. The concept can be extended to describe how elements of a whole fit together. It is a philosophical category expressing the adherence of the parts, the coherence a of the inside and the outside, the unity of Content and shape; 'the reconciliation of opposites.
Largely analysed by the history of aesthetics', harmony is often considered an attribute or effect of beauty. “Opposites complete and tune in with one another, and thus the discordant ones generate the most beautiful harmony.” Heraclitus
“On the one hand, harmony consists in the integrated wholeness of certain essential Pam, and the other hand, it consists in their Pure opposition that is now solved as well as in what they reveal as
mutual belonging, inner connection, and unity. We can mention the harmony of shapes, colours, tones, etc.” says Hegel In music, harmony is the simultaneous combination, the melodic composition of several sounds according to certain laws dealing with the study of accords in a composition. In the same way, in the other arts, harmony is close to order, measure, proportionality, and constructive or compositional unity.
Hatha yoga – a form of yoga, aimed at attaining perfect balance
A form of yoga, requiring the performance of special physical positions with complex beneficial effects (asana-s), deep relaxation (shavasana), breath control and rhythm (pranayama), fundamental purification techniques (kriya), techniques for focusing the mind, all of which aim to maintain the body as supple and as relaxed as possible. All these exercises together increase our vitality, provide perfect health and help cure various diseases. When we maintain a proper diet, our body is gradually and completely purified, at the same time eliminating all impurities and toxins and providing all circumstances necessary for vitamins and trace minerals to be used optimally and assimilated by our body.
Acting this way, our body and mind are completely purified and the practitioner will soon gain control over his mind and eventually reach the final goal in yoga which is Self-Realisation.In Sanskrit, ha means Sun and tha means Moon. In this case, the Sun designates the masculine, active, solar principle, while the Moon corresponds to the feminine, passive, receptive aspect.
In other words, hatha represents a fundamental law of the entire Universe, that of the permanent interaction between two forces of opposite directions that are nevertheless complementary; a masculine, solar, (+), yang force, and a feminine, lunar, (-), yin force.
So hatha yoga allows the yogi to identify the existence of the two fundamental forces, both inside his inner microcosm as well as externally in the Macrocosm. Their full control will help him to rise above duality and attain perfect harmony and balance, thus achieving unity with the Supreme Consciousness.
In hatha-yoga, spiritual development is attained by the mandatory accomplishment of 8 successive stages: yama and niyama (each comprises five rules of behavior, representing the moral and ethical aspect of yoga), asana, pranayama (comprising specific breathing exercises for maximum increase and perfect control of subtle energies), pratyahara (extraction of the yogi's being from the outer reality that might disturb him, by the perfect control over the 5 senses, which allows him to project his consciousness into other dimensions or universes), dharana (concentration, helping the yogi to intensely focus his previously accumulated energies upon a single real or imaginary object that represents the goal of the concentration), dhyana (meditation) and samadhi (ecstasy).
Lingam – a sacred symbol of SHIVA
In Sanskrit, the term lingam generally has the meaning of a symbol, sign, seal of the divine. Particularly in the practice of Hinduism, the word designates the raised stone of the temple altar, having a phallic appearance and connotations. Shiva, the essential masculine principle, is most often worshipped in this symbolic form of creative transcendence. In the ancient writings of wisdom Shiva Purana and Nandi Upa Purana, Shiva states: "I am omnipresent, but my presence is very powerful in twelve symbolic forms placed in 12 sacred places”.
These twelve symbolic forms are 12 large lingam that, according to the principle of correspondence between microcosm and macrocosm, have been erected and installed in the land of India in 12 famous temples dedicated to the worship of Shiva (the Eternal Masculine), representing an equal number of aspects, or forms (particular manifestations of Shiva).
The lingam is the symbol of the regenerating power, spring, and channel of the seed, in its quality of active principle. Numerous forms that are not at all accidental, like the thumb, the vertical raised stone, the column, the tree, and so on, each have a phallic connotation: Their representation is not necessarily esoteric or erotic: it can simply mean the mysterious, masculine (+), essential, generating power, worshipped in all ancient traditions in this form.
The phallic symbolism plays an important role in Eastern thinking and even in Jewish thought. Thus, the ninth Sephira, Iesod, signifies the hidden masculine power of conceiving as a foundation of all that is alive. In the Sefer Bahir, the erect phallus is compared to the righteous man. He is like a column when he is standing and is also considered the bedrock and the balanced place between Heaven and Earth.
In the tight relationships that exist between the microcosm and the macrocosm, the masculine (+) cosmic energy corresponds to the earthly action that is fulfilled through transfiguration by the righteous person. The presence or absence of righteous men (who, due to restraining through erotic continence, are analogically and symbolically in a continuous erection) on Earth strengthens or weakens (in the case of the exhausted, powerless, incontinent, lustful) the connection between Heaven (+) and Earth (-).
Also, the lingam hardens or softens according to the presence (the perfect and continuous control of the creative energy) or absence of energy (lost in the case of incontinent people), an energy that the erotically continent have or that they can amplify through transmutation, sublimation and modulation. The virile righteous person who is capable of restraining himself (the perfectly erotically continent) is called, not by accident, the bedrock of this world (Proverbs 10:25).
According to Galien's opinion, which was widely accepted throughout the entire Middle Ages, the masculine seed, (+), comes from the brain and descends along the spine /narrow. For this reason, the lingam symbolizes the Orient, the Levant, the mystical East, place, and origin of life, heat, and light. It is called man's seventh limb: it is the centre around which the following are ramified: the legs, the arms, the vertebral spine, through which the seed flows, and the head, in which the seed is formed in its origin. His lover, the eighth limb (the feminine one, the matrix, the yoni) faces him from the front; he transmits to her the seed, like a channel flowing into the sea.
Love
Love is the supreme human emotion, but understanding how and why it happens is not necessarily easy. In fact, for a long time, many people suggested that love was simply something too primal, mysterious, and spiritual for science to ever fully understand. The following are four of the major theories proposed to explain love and other emotional attachments. Liking vs. Loving: Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of 3 elements: Attachment, Caring, and Intimacy. Rubin believed that sometimes we experience a great amount of appreciation and admiration for others. We enjoy spending time with them and want to be around them, but this doesn't necessarily qualify as love.
Instead, Rubin referred to this as liking. Love, on the other hand, is much deeper, more intense, and includes a strong desire for physical intimacy and contact. People who are "in like" enjoy each other's company, while those who are "in love" care as much about the other person's needs as they do their own. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval, and physical contact with the other person. Caring involves valuing the other person needs and happiness as much as your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other person.
Based upon this definition, Rubin devised a questionnaire to assess attitudes about others and found that these scales of liking and loving provided support for his conception of love. According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are 2 basic types of love: Compassionate love and Passionate love
Compassionate love is characterized by mutual respect, attachment, affection, and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of mutual understanding and shared respect for one another. Passionate love is characterized by intense emotions, erotic attraction, anxiety, and affection. When these intense emotions are reciprocated, people feel eated and fulfilled. Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting between 6 and 30 months.
Hatfield also suggests that passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you experience
heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person. Ideally, passionate love then leads to compassionate love, which is far more enduring. While most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with intense passionate love, Hatfield believes that this is rare.
Science has not yet discovered the exact bodily reactions behind the complexity of love. More than happiness and even optimism, love holds the key to improving our mental and physical health as well as lengthening our lives and deepening our personal experience. Using research from her own lab, Barbara Fredrickson, a social psychologist who conducts research in emotions and positive psychology, redefines love not as a stable behemoth, but as micro-moments of connection between people-even strangers.
She demonstrates that our capacity for experiencing love can be measured and strengthened in ways that improve our health and longevity. Love is an ineffable, overwhelming and godly feeling that makes it possible, for the one who fully experiences it, to feel an ineffable, euphoric expansion of the being. The fundamental characteristic of true love is that it is permanently the opposite of selfishness.
Love is experienced in the form of a uniting, profound, euphoric, overwhelming, nuanced, moral-aesthetic, and fundamental feeling. Love manifests specifically through sublime, unselfish, profoundly transfiguring, and abnegating aspiration towards its object: a human being of the opposite sex who attracts us, a certain person upon whom we spontaneously feel the impulse to detachedly bestow our affection, or even a community, an idea, a value, an activity.
Orgasm
An orgasm is a feeling of intense sexual pleasure that happens during erotic activity. It's sometimes called "coming" or "climaxing". Both men and women have orgasms. Science has proved that different nerves control orgasm and discharge (ejaculation). Orgasms can be defined in different ways using different criteria. Medical professionals have used physiological changes to the body as a basis for a definition, whereas psychologists and mental health professionals have used emotional and cognitive changes. A single, overarching explanation of the orgasm does not currently exist.
Sex researchers have defined orgasms within staged models of sexual response. Although the orgasm process can differ greatly between individuals, several basic physiological changes have been identified that tend to occur in the majority of incidences. The following models are patterns that have been found to occur in all forms of erotic response and are not limited solely to penile-vaginal intercourse.
Master and Johnson's Four-Phase Model: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Kaplan's Three-Stage Model: Differs from most other
sexual response models as it includes desire – most models tend to avoid including non-genital changes. It is also important to note that not all sexual activity is preceded by desire. The word orgasm comes from the Greek word organ, which means "to be full of enchantment and passion." In the yogic conception referring to Eros and sexuality, the orgasm defines the beatific moment in which, due to the ineffable effervescence and correlated interaction of the erotic potential belonging to both lovers, who are compatible, the manifestation in the psychological sphere of a unique polarization of their subtle, opposite bio-electromagnetic energies manifest in the form of an ecstatic tension (that can be significant compared to a thunderbolt that is triggered in nature under similarly polarizing conditions).
This generates the experimentation by each of them, one after the other or both simultaneously, of a profound and intense amorous happiness with synchronous echoes in several spheres of their inner universes.
In everyday thought, erotic satisfaction and orgasm imply physiological phenomena in which substantial sexual components, both woman's and man's (sperm in his case), enter in an indescribable state of effervescence and feed, like a fuel, the awakening and amplification of the felt states, climaxing with the maximum state that is orgasm, generating the expulsion of a huge quantity of fluids and substantial components, which will shortly thereafter produce a sensation of diminishing, drowsiness, and even exhaustion.
Repeating this process leads to the inner decreasing of the thorough state that was felt at the beginning of the amorous experience. Starting from this reality in which, commonly, the substantial discharge of the potential that supplied the state occurs immediately after orgasm (this discharge is known by the name of ejaculation for man and physiological loss for woman), the sages of the East have ascertained that orgasm can occur many times if this physiological discharge is controlled and postponed by natural self-control, which is only characteristic to the man endowed with intelligence and consciousness.
At the moment in which this physiological discharge, both for man and woman, is indefinitely controlled and postponed, the sexual components will be transformed into something else, and the colossal energy that results will produce in the inner universe of each of them a vast range of phenomena and processes due to the sublimation that will be made subsequently (or even during the intimate experience).
This suspension will put at the human being's disposal a high potentiality that will allow the attainment of an unlimited number of orgasms without astonishment, drowsiness, or exhaustion provoked by the ordinary physiological discharge.
This control will allow amazing phenomena, processes, and realizations compared with what is usually obtained.
Besides,forthewoman,this mechanism of postponing thephysiological loss that accompanies the orgasm is often spontaneous, enabling many women to naturally use it (even without knowing anything about it) in order to experience a very large number of orgasms without thereafter experiencing any physiological loss that could diminish the amorous abundance and exhaust them.
Self-control
Self-control – or our ability to subdue our impulses, emotions, and behaviors in order to achieve longer-term goals—is what separates us from our ancient ancestors and the rest of the animal kingdom. Self-control is primarily rooted in our pre-frontal cortex, which is significantly larger in humans than it is in other mammals with similar brains.
Thanks to our pre-frontal cortex, rather than immediately responding to every impulse as it arises, we can plan, evaluate alternative actions, and, ideally, avoid doing things we'll later regret. The ability to exert self-control is typically called willpower.
Willpower is what allows us to direct our attention, and it underlies all kinds of achievement, from school to the workplace. It also implies the harmonious activation of the solar aspect of each chakra. For a Superior Intimacy practitioner, the higher state of self-control implies an intense simultaneous activation of the mind, doubled by a powerful and flexible beneficent transformation that can be equally applied both to speech and to action.
At the mental level, higher self-control consists in the activation of a sequence of mainly mental operations complementary to the mental command, which consists of careful supervision of our own reactions and behavioral tendencies, doubled by their immediate correction by intensifying or accelerating, or on the contrary slowing or interrupting, them according to the necessity of the constant manifestation of beneficent states and experiences, harmoniously adapted to various life circumstances.
Therefore, during the advanced practice of Superior Intimacy model, self-control consists of the harmonious cooperation between the just and firm command manifested at the mental level, careful and perfectly accomplished mental control.
From a broader perspective, self-control is the superior mental mechanism and ability to continuously track down and carefully verify one's own behavioral tendencies, especially reactions comprising an impulsive potential and latent urges from the subconscious level.
This is doubled by prompt and effective transformation for their immediate correction accomplished by processing aimed at either intensifying them or slowing them down, with the purpose of maintaining them balanced and harmonious, according to the supra- mental value criteria.
Shiva – aspect of God that liberates beings enchained by ignorance
The Sanskrit word Shiva literally means "the Good one, the Gentle one." In the Eastern tradition, Shiva is the third essential god from the Hindu trinity (Trimurti) that also contains Brahma and Vishnu. Shiva is the god of destruction of the evil and ignorant, and of the dissolution of everything that is impure. He is an infinite beneficial force, who often instantly removes enchaining ignorance.
His symbol is the lingam or the creative masculine organ that represents virility, the solar active Yang (+) aspect. Shiva is often represented in infinite, intimate, amorous fusion with his lover Shakti, who is the feminine aspect, whose fundamental symbol is the yoni, or the feminine sexual organ that represents the Yin (-) aspect, the energy of nature, and so forth.
For the adepts who frantically worship in him ‘their chosen ideal’ (Ishta-Deva), he is the total supreme divinity, the Ultimate Reality. Associated with his feminine dynamic forms, he is known by the names Shakti, Parvati, Kali, or Durga, Shiva incarnates the Transcendent Absolute.
Each of these Great Cosmic Powers or feminine divinities' is often considered to be the feminine counterpart (Shakti) or the wife of Shiva, and sometimes the Hindu iconography represents him in infinite intimate erotic fusion, because of perfect control of erotic energy, with the incarnations or aspects of these feminine forces. Shiva bears numerous other names depending on the prevalence of some of his aspects, such as Shambhu, Shankara, Ishana, Vishvanatha, Kedarnath, or Nataraka.
The last one is represented in Hindu art as a Shiva-Nataraja, the transcendent Shiva, supreme master of the universe, reigning on Nandi, the symbolical bull of dharma, and worshipped as Supreme Guru of all gurus, destroyer of suffering, destroyer of the evil ones and of materiality because of his instantaneous grace, the one who gives wisdom, the incarnation of the liberation-bestowing renunciation and of transcendent compassion, of the archetypal masculine power of essential virility.
Transmutation
Transmutation represents the transforming of a chemical element into another chemical element, accompanied by a huge release of energy. Transmutation is produced by radioactive disintegration or by a nuclear reaction which is possible even at biological levels at low temperature.
Sexual biological transmutation consists of the transforming of sexual “material”into energy that can be sublimated, leading to various refined energies according to the person’s intentions. This transmutation is possible due to the retention of sexual “material” made effervescent through control during intense erotic experiences.
Since there is a biological transmutation of the sexual potential, the original sexual impulse is transformed into a new, superior energy. This transformation represents the sublimation process that is produced by the conscious control of erotic functions. Superficially we think that all our body is material. With great confidence, we wrongly believe that this "material" is "everything". However, the experience of this biological transmutation process within our body produces certain supremely happy feelings of an overwhelming intensity. It also makes us spontaneously aware of the fact that we are composed of an incredible quantity of energetic particles.
These circulate mysteriously and are seemingly fixed by a miracle. In man, the atomic transmutation process is continuously produced within metabolism, sexuality, mental activities and within spiritual experiences.
In the present day, it is precisely known that every atom of our body contains a huge energy equivalent to 200 Mln eV. Further, it can be said that in the creative, sexual and substantial potential, represented by sperm and ovum, there are hundreds of millions of volts "trapped in the material".
Further, this energy can be gradually directed to the desired direction. Indeed thought is the most powerful force of the universe. Through biological transmutation, the huge energy released will extremely amplify feelings, and the banal limits of the consciousness will be gradually removed.
If sexual continence is not realized, vital energy is discharged irreversibly; is simply lost instead of being wisely transformed and utilized in the superior levels of man. Indeed men have noticed that lovemaking without continence, with discharge, actually decreases their mental power and efficiency compared to how their mental force was with sexual continence. The practice of lovemaking with continence offers huge resources of mental, physic and spiritual energy necessary for supporting very intense and long-lasting effort.
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Better Sex Naturally, Chris D. Meletis N.D.,. Harper Collins: New York, 2000
Love Potions A Guide to Aphrodisiacs and Sexual Pleasures, Cynthia Watson Mervis M.D., New York: Penguin Putnam Inc., 1993
Nature’s Aphrodisiacs, Deborah Mitchell, New York: Dell Health, 1999
Better Sex Through Chemistry, John Morgenthaler and Dan Jo, CA.: Smart Publications, 1995
Nature’s Aphrodisiacs, Nancy Nickell L.,CA.: The Crossing Press, 1999
Sexual Energy Ecstasy, David Ramasdale and Ellen, New York: Bantam Books, 1993
Sex Herbs Nature’s Sexual Enhancers for Men and Women, Roybal Beth Ann Petro and Gayle Skowronski, CA.: Ulysses Press, 1999
la pg 21- de pus la notes
https://www.forbes.com/sites/ceibs/2016/04/20/who-is-a-better- leader-tough-woman-or-sensitive-man/#69acebea23de
ANNEX C – GREAT MOMENTS IN BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION
JON VON HELMONT
1579-1644
Water alone had, therefore, been sufficient to produce 76 kg of wood, bark and roots. Water could change into element of soil (1620).
JOHANN CARL SCHRADER
1762-1826
Won the competition for his experiments on the formation of minerals in grains. Concluded that mineral matter hod indeed been created. (1799)
LOUIS VAUQUELIN
(1763-1814)
Isolated a hen and feed it a pound of oats, then analysed for lime (CaO). Analysed the egg and foeces and found that 5 times more calcium was excreted than consumed. and a subsequent decrease of
silicon. First scientist that demonstrated biological transmutation of silicon into calcium. (1799)
ALBRECHT THAER
(1752-1828)
Showed that under some circumstances.calcium transforms into silicon. Suggested that silicon could come from potassium. and that calcium in the plant became changed into silicon, whilst this substance may itself be formed from potassium.
(1815)
WILHELM LAMPADIUS
1722-1842
Thought that plants themselves create silicon in their structure. (1832)
CHOUBARD – Germinated watercress seeds in clean glass vessels and showed that the sprouts contained minerals, which did not previously exist in the seeds. (1831)
VOGEL – Planted watercress seeds (Lepidum satirum)in a bell jar in crushed glass in a controlled air environment.They were fed nothing but distilled water, yet when grown they contained more sulphur than had been in the seeds originally.Vogel concluded that sulphur was not a simple element or that sulphur wos introduced from sources unknown. (1644) After Vogel, Lauwes, and Gilbert observed the weight variation of ashes during vegetation.
HENRI BRACONNOT
1780 -1855
Reproduced Johann Carl Schrader’s experiments. Concluded that formation of mineral components, (K)
with mustard seed and radish indeed took place. (1807)
WILLIAM PROUT
1785-1850
Defined the transmutation of elements by studying incubating chicken eggs. Observed an increase of calcium carbonate inside egg and concluded that the compound did not come from the shells. (l822)
J.J. BERZELIUS
Reported Vogel experiment in
his book. (1850)
GREAT MOMENTS IN BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION
VON HERZEELE
(1821- 1873)
Researched how plants continuously create new material elements. Conducted 500 analyses with different types of seeds and worked with: clover, crimson, vetch, rapeseed, barley, watercress, bean, white beans,
kidney beans, turnips, res, peas lupine, coltsfoot, and Angelica. A typical experiment showed that variation of calcium, potassium and phosphorus in Vicia sativa during germination with or without addition of mineral salts in distilled water. The addition of various calcium salts to the medium increased the formation of potassium.The addition of K2CO3, increase the formation of calcium.
EARLE AUGUSTUS SPESSARD
(1867 – 1962)
Performed on experiment in which an organic process was studied in a hermetically sealed container.The bottles were weighed after some years. At the end, living protozoa were still seen through the glass walls. Presumably plant assimilation and animal respiration followed each other more or less in balance.There was a weight increase of a few tenths of a milligram (with a balance accuracy of 0.02 mg.) Sources of errors
were carefully eliminated. (1940)
JOHN LAUWES
(1814-1900)
JOSEPH GILBERT
(1817-1901)
Observed an inexplicable variation in magnesium in the ashes of plants. They could “extract” more elements from soil than soil actually contained in the first place, in particular the formation of magnesium in
grass. (1870)
RUDOLF STEINER
1861 – 1925
Concluded that “plants are capable of affecting the
transmutation of elements." (1876)
Gave indications for the development of a new approach to agriculture that later became known as biodynamics. Referred to composting, and stated "even according to the purely external standards of analytical chemistry. This ought to betray the fact that there is a kinship between the way in which oxygen and nitrogen are connected in the air and that in which lime and hydrogen ore connected in organic processes. Under the inf1uence of hydrogen, lime, and potassium are constantly changed into nitrogenous matter, and finally into
nitrogen. Resulted nitrogen has a tremendous value for the plant growth. Silicic acid, as we know, contains silicon and this in turn undergoes transmutation in the living organism. It is changed into
a substance which is of exceptional importance. (1924)
FREUDLER – Professor at Sorbonne, published a book based on 10 years of research on the production of iodine by algae. Noticed a connection between tin and granite in which the algae produced
iodine in the plants. (1928)
PERRAULT – Found that the hormone aldosterone provoked a transmutation of Na to K.(1945)
HENRI SPINDLER – Scientist and director of Laboratories Maritime de Dinard France. Discovered Herzeele’s work on the decrease of phosphorus and increase of calcium. In 1959, measured an increase of iodine by 30% in algae, Laminaria flexicaulis and 80-100% in Laminaria saccharine. (1947)
JULIEN BELLORGEY- Scientist, Besancon University, proved that if tench are put in water containing 14% NaCl their production of KCI increased by 36%, within 4h.(1959)
GREAT MOMENTS IN BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION
GEORGE OHSAWA
(1893-1966)
Founder of macrobiotics and collaborator of Louis Kervran. His opinion was that biological transmutation occurs during
mastication.
RUDOLF HOUSCHKA
(1891-1969)
Sealed glass containers, weighted cress seeds, and found an increase in weight of 0,54% during the full moon, and a decrease of 0,58% during the new moon. Published several books re- evaluated Herzeele’s work, most important work in "The Nature of
Substances". (1940)
SOLOMON GOLDFEIN
PIERRE BARANGER
(1900-1970)
Professor of organic chemistry at Ecole Polytechnic, head of the Laboratory of Chemical Biology. Repeated Herzeele’s experiments with all possible precautions and a very large number of cases, which would allow a statistical study. His research involved thousands of analyses, verified the content of phosphorus, potassium, calcium and iron of vetch seeds before and after germination intwine-distilled water to which pure calcium chloride was not added. Hundreds of samples of 7-10g each were selected, weighted
to 1/100th milligram , and graded then germinated in a controlled environment. Baranger found an increase of 4,2% in calcium, and 8,3% of iron, and subsequently a decrease in phosphorus of 1,9% and of potassium of 1,1%. Interestingly, an addition of MnCI2 increases the amount of iron produced. None of the specialists who examined Baranger’s work were able to find any experimental errors. Concluded that a transmutation had taken place, but did not determine the reason. “These results, obtained by taking all possible precautions, confirm the general conclusion proposed by von Herzeele and lead one to think that under certain conditions the plants are capable of forming elements, which did not exist before in the external environment.”
J.E. ZUNDEL Studied germinating seeds and observed 54-616% increase of calcium. In another
Abstract of the final report “Energy Development From Elemental Transmutations In Biological Systems”
by Solomon Goldfein, U.S. Army Mobility Equipment Research & Development Command, Ft. Belvoir,VA, May 1978
Report 2247 summarized the followings:The purpose of the study was to determine whether recent disclosures of elemental transmutations occurring in biological entities have revealed new possible sources of energy.The works of Kervran, Komaki, and others were surveyed; and it was concluded that, granted the existence of such transmutations (Na to Mg, K to Ca, and Mn to Fe), then a net surplus of energy was also produced. A proposed mechanism was described in which Mg-Adenosine Triphosphate (MgATP), located
in the mitochondrion of the cell, played a double role as an energy producer. In addition to the widely accepted biochemical role of MgATP in which it produces energy as it disintegrated part by part, MgATP can also be considered to be a cyclotron on a molecular scale.The MgATP when placed in layers one atop the other has all the attributes of a cyclotron in accordance with the requirements set forth by E.O.
Lawrence, inventor of the cyclotron. It was concluded that elemental transmutations were indeed occurring in life organisms and were probably accompanied by a net energy gain.
experiment, he grew 150 oats seeds in
a controlled environment for 6 weeks. 1243 sprouts were analysed using atomic absorption spectrosocpy for the presence of magnesium and calcium. Potassium decreased by 0,033%, calcium increased by 0,032%, and magnesium decreased
by 0,07%.The variation of magnesium was not significant, but the decrease in potassium balanced the increase of
calcium. In 1972 with oat seeds, observed an increase of calcium of 118%, a decrease of magnesium of 23%, and
potassium 29%. (1979)
GREAT MOMENTS IN BIOLOGICAL TRANSMUTATION
CORENTIN LOUIS
KERVRAN
(1901-1983)
In the early sixties, his discoveries on biological transmutations were published by a French scientific review.
He demonstrated that not only molecules but also atoms could
be transformed, and he verified the transmutation of matter from atom to atom. French scientist at University of Paris, Kervran is the most well-known scientist that have worked in the field of biological transmutations. He had a broad knowledge of plants, geology, and nuclear science. His findings have been published in 10 books. Kervran collected facts and performed experiments which showed that transmutations of chemical elements do indeed occur in living organisms.Analysed why Sahara oil-field workers excreted a daily average of 320mg more calcium than they ingested without decalcification occurring. Pointed out that the ground of Brittany contained no calcium while every day a hen would lay a perfectly normal egg
with a perfectly normal shell containing calcium. The hens eagerly pecked mica from the soil, and mica contains potassiums. It appears that they evens may transmute some of the potassium into calcium. From 1960 to 1980, Kervran reported the astounding results of his research showing that living plants were able to accomplish limited
transmutation of elements.
WILIEM &HOLLEMAN
1906 -1994
Experiments with alga Chlorella.Observed a decrease, then subsequent increase of
potassium.(1989)
PANOS T. PAPPAS
1947-
Suggested that biological transmutation occurs as a form of cold fusion in the cellular membrane sodium-potassium pump.
Ions are not pumped back and forth through the membrane, but instead transmute back and forth between Na and
K.(1998)
EDWIN ENGEL & RUDOLF GRUBER
Showed that during germination, manganese
transmutes into iron. (2006)
JEAN PAUL BIBERIAN
1946-
Experiments with seeds: wheat/oats/ bacteria Marine and Lactobacilius. In most of experiments, variations in theconcentration of
minerals have been observed. In particular, when the seeds grew, heavy metals decrease in large amounts. Results confirm the observations made by others, in particular
Kervran.
HISATOKI KOMAKI
1926-
Studied the development of bacteria, mould and yeast and reported that eight strains
of microorganisms grown in potassium deficient culture media increased the total of potassium by transmutation of
calcium to potassium. Showed that phosphorus can be formed by the fusion of nitrogen and oxygen, marketed a brewer’s yeast product that when applied to composts increase the potassium
content.(1993)
VLADIMIR VYSOTSKII
1946-
Working on biological transmutations since 90s. Known for using modern analytical techniques.
Experiments with bacteria capable of developing in the
heavy water. Certainly the best proof of biological
transmutations.(2011)
V. KURASHOV & T. SOKHNO June 21, 2016 press conference in Geneva by a Russian Corporate Partnership called Actinedes on biological transmutation of Mendeleev table of
elements.(2016)
ANNEX D – OTHER BENEFITS OF INTENSE LOVE-MAKING
”Optimal performance is tied to good well-being; the higher the positive morale, the better the performance.“ Martin Seligman
Body Balance – It harmonizes the body structure rapidly and naturally. Under the effect of intense excitement and the growth of the blood output, breasts can grow in volume up to 25 % naturally during an act realized with continence.
Better Health – From 15 breathing movements per minute at rest, during lovemaking with continence, the body can reach up to 30 breathing movements being more irrigated and oxygenated and the blood is regenerated naturally.
Physiological Improvement – The erotic act realized always through continence produces among other things a hormonal balance which implicitly adjusts menstruation naturally. Women who have multiple and prolonged orgasms, without discharge (as experienced by those who experience love-making with continence) secrete a higher quantity of endorphins and shorten their menstruation, as well as being more regular and painless. In the case of advanced practitioners menstruation can be suspended up to 3 or 4 months in a row, and the woman in these cases are very happy and full of energy.
Abdominal Muscles Fitness – It naturally tones up the abdominal muscles. Puts the abdominal muscles pleasantly and naturally into action.
Better Sleep – Improves sleep and shortens naturally the hours which are necessary for sleeping. It is known that prolonged pleasure is an excellent sedative. These extraordinary tranquillizing, peaceful, and revitalizing effects are provoked by endorphins.
Eliminates Anxiety – It diminishes and even makes anxiety disappear in a short time. Awakens some special qualities rapidly, among which are: a lack of stress, profound relaxation, high-spirit, euphoria, and a sense of humour. This is due to the massive secretion of endorphins which appear in the moment of orgasms without discharge.
Improves Blood Circulation – During erotic excitement blood ow increases considerably in the erogenous areas as well as in the whole body. The arteries relax more easily and dilate gradually, generating thus a state of general well-being a happiness.
The two lovers discover both, through ecstasy, that the biological component of attraction in front of the opposite sex is not represented only by instinct but by other mysterious, energetic, subtle, psychic- emotional aspects that are integrated in the complex system of the sexual-affective-mental behavior. Always realizing erotic continence, the man becomes super-potent and he can spend hours and hours making love every day, feeling hundreds of orgasms without
discharging at all.
Lower Pain – It naturally fights against pains and physical sufferings. The extremely high erotic pleasure felt during the erotic act realized with continence permits the tolerance threshold for pain or suffering to be raised.
A woman who attains orgasm 5 to 10 times without discharge, is less sensitive to the sting of an injection than before, for up to 5 days after this. Profound anaesthetizing effect noticed in many cases raise this tolerance threshold up to 70 after two hours of lovemaking with continence.
Thyroid Balance – It naturally balances the thyroid profoundly and for long periods of time. The activity of the thyroid is adjusted naturally because of intense and prolonged pleasure. It is known, when the thyroid functions above the normal level, people are agitated, anxious, and experience a devitalizing state.
When the thyroid is functioning under the normal level people may begin to tremble and are confronted with an abnormal increase in weight combined with a reduction in their libido.
Develops Positive ‘Stress’ – The little glands which are situated above the kidneys, or in other words, the suprarenal’s, are stimulated harmoniously by the hypophysis (or pituitary gland) during the erotic act realized with continence and thus produce the hormones of positive “stress”.
The first of these hormones, the adrenaline, is the one that excites the senses promptly and powerfully during ashy love. Less known hormones, the cortisol, permit us to defend simply and rapidly against depression. The suprarenal's gland is also secreting the hormones for desire, also known as the androgenic hormones.
Healthy Skin – The intense and prolonged pleasure increases the production of the estrogen hormones (sexual feminine hormones), which receiving a higher quantity of collagen.
Maintains and Improves Memory – Being the general area of command of the hormonal system, the hypothalamus is also the centre of memory units. Prolonged intense erotic lovemaking awakens, assists, and amplifies several mental processes including memory.
Natural Contraceptive Method – The intense and prolonged erotic act that is realized only with continence presumes indefinite and complete suspension of discharge and thus it is a perfectly natural contraceptive method. Women who practice lovemaking with
continence with men who are perfectly continent do not have the stress of an unwanted pregnancy.
Improves Heart Health – From an average of 70-80 beats per minute during the state of rest, the cardiac rhythm increases gradually during the lovemaking realized with continence up to 100-120 beats per minute in the plateau phase (excitement period). At the moment of orgasm without discharge, the cardiac rhythm attains a level of 110- 130 beats per minute.
Improves Humour – The overwhelming euphoria that appears is maintained for days after the erotic act and is due to the conjugated action of 2 neurotransmitters: serotonin and dopamine, that are secreted by the hypophysis (or pituitary gland) under the influence of intense and prolonged pleasure. These neurotransmitters naturally energize the brain and the blood, provoking a euphoric dynamism that is “contaminating” the others.
Better Muscle Relaxation – When the skin is touched and caressed in a very agreeable way it produces an intense stimulation that passes through the skin, and specific bonds in the nervous system, reaching to the motor centre of the spine and brain. This beneficial stimulation is reverberated shortly to the muscles that become profoundly relaxed.
Rapid increase in self-awareness, self-control in simultaneity in a very pleasant, effective, and integrative way.
Develops new dimensions of relational intelligence.
Creates a better work-life integration offering clear insights into your predominant leadership style.
Improves vitality and dispositional affect to deal with complex challenges.
Creates a positive attitude towards any challenge you might face in your leadership role.
Access a new source of energy that improves creativity, ability to inspire, engage, and energize employees and colleagues.
Builds capabilities to diagnose personal toxic behaviors and dysfunctional habits, enabling enhanced personal dynamism and creation of a high performance inner resonance.
Boosts self-esteem, will-power and intuition in a very productive way.
Learn to look at change as an opportunity for yourself and your team, which can guide personal and professional strategic decisions and become part of your transformation efforts.
Ability to take risks that go against the dogma of the organizations. Find new inner resources to build compelling arguments and influence others.
Creates boldness that inspires teams, energizes customers, and access to strategic creativity.
Learn how to lead with holistic principles that helps when nothings works. Learn how to not dis-engage meaningful bold actions because of various risks.
NoFap is a website and community forum that serves as a support group for those who wish to avoid pornography and masturbation. Its name comes from the slang term fap, referring to male masturbation.
Putting aside some contradicting views from different experts lets see some of the listed benefits that men who participated in NoFap declared. Please consider that these men have nothing to gain financially from reporting these benefits, neither can it be a placebo effect nor is a promo of some pills, as most of them report identical benefits with high similarities in descriptions.
More energy, Less depression, More confidence, Happier, Less anxiety, Increased social skills, Highly motivated to succeed, Highly motivated to do more, Highly motivated to approach real women, Increased fat loss, Increased muscle growth, Improved workouts, Improved sporting performance, Deeper voice, Improved skin, Thicker hair, Increased hair growth (Facial, body and hair), Less sleep required, Brighter eyes, Clearer skin, Improved body language, More alpha male behaviours, Increased attention from women, More respect from men, Improved memory, Removal of brain fog, Smarter, A cure to hair loss, Better intimacy, Thicker/longer penis, Stronger, Aloof attitude, High intimacy drive, Controlled aggression, Feelings of power, Improved
relationships, Improved immunity, Increased stamina.
KEY INSIGHT
MULTI-DIMENSIONAL MODEL
Written based on our research with +750 respondents, 2015
ANNEX E – 100 INSIGHTS TO MAKE YOU REFLECT ON SUPERIOR INTIMACY
“Minds are like parachutes – they only function when open.” – Thomas Dewar
”Intimate experiences are associated with achievement, and it's an amazing realization.“
Laura Garnett, Performance strategist
I"n contrast to long-standing management thinking, the heart is the driving force of human achievement, and employee engagement is a decision of the heart."”
Mark C. Crowley
Prof Max von Gruber (1853-1927) –” Its absurd to consider semen a daunting substance, that need periodic elimination, like urine. Resorption of seminal liquids is much more beneficial for the body. Fact demonstrated by the number of geniuses that conserved semen throughout their lives.”
Kinsey’s research suggested that more than half of all pre-adolescent boys were able to reach a second orgasm (without emission of semen) within a short period of time and nearly a third were able to achieve 5 or more orgasms (without emission of semen) one after the other. This led Kinsey to argue that "climax is clearly possible without ejaculation". But multiple orgasms are not just limited to prepubescent boys. Kinsey continues: "There are older males, even in their thirties and older, who are able to equal this performance.”
In Fundamentals of Human Sexuality, Dr. Herant Katchadourian, Professor of Human Biology, Emeritus at Stanford adds: "Some men are able to inhibit the emission of semen while they experience the orgasmic contractions: in other words, they have non-ejaculatory orgasms. Such orgasms do not seem to be followed by a refractory period [loss of erection], thereby allowing these men to have consecutive or multiple orgasms like women.”
After noting that "orgasm is the least understood of the sexual processes," the 13th edition of Smith's General Urology explains that orgasm includes "involuntary rhythmic contractions of the anal sphincter, increased breathing rate, increased heart rate, and elevation of blood pressure."
William Reich, in his controversial book The Function of Orgasm, was the first to argue that orgasm involved the whole body and not just the genitals. Further support comes from neurologist Robert J. Heath of Tulane University, who discovered that when certain parts of the brain are stimulated with electrodes they produce erotic pleasure identical to that produced by physical stimulation. Many couple therapists are saying that erotic intimacy takes place in the brain. There is some truth to this statement – especially when it comes to orgasm. "A lot of men are freaked out by the very idea of non-ejaculatory orgasm because they’ve been having discharge (ejaculatory) sex for such a long time, often decades. So, the first thing to do is demystify discharge (ejaculation), which is just an involuntary muscle spasm."
In their famous book The G Spot and Other Recent Discoveries About Human Sexuality, Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry argued that male and female erotic intimacy is almost identical. In addition to their much-reported discovery of the female "G spot" they also suggest that men can experience multiple orgasms (without discharge) just like women.
An extensive laboratory investigation of male multiple orgasms was made by researchers William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian. They tested 33 men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic – that is, to be able to have two or more orgasms without losing their erection (and without discharge). During Hartman and Fithian's research, the average number of orgasms a multi-orgasmic man had was 4. Some men had the minimum of 2, and one had as many as 16!
In a study by Clarion Dunn and Jan Trost, most men reported having from 2 to 9 orgasms (without discharge) per session.
As one multi-orgasmic man stated: "If I discharge, the pillow looks better than my girlfriend does."
Peng-Tzu, an intimacy adviser to the famed Yellow Emperor, reported almost 5000 years ago: "After discharge (ejaculation), a man is tired, his ears buzz, his eyes are heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel weak and stiff. In discharge (ejaculation) he enjoys a brief moment of sensation but then suffers long hours of exhaustion."
In a front-page story on December 3, 1992, the New York Times reported startling scientific research that seems to confirm the ancient Taoist insight about the toll that sperm production takes on a man's body. "These results are the last thing I had expected when I started
doing the experiment," said Wayne van Voorhies of the University of Arizona. "They were so startling that I did the work over 4 times to make sure I got it right. They basically say a lot of our preconceived notions [about male sexuality] just do not hold."
Dr. Wayne van Voorhies was studying simple but revealing worms called nematodes. What, you may ask, do worms have to do with your sexuality'. Well, these nematodes are not just your everyday, garden- variety worms. "The genes and biochemical processes nematodes use," explains Dr. Philip Anderson of the University of Wisconsin, "are the same as those that humans and other mammals use."
In scientific studies, nematodes are frequently used in place of human subjects. The Times concluded: "The new work suggests that ceaseless sperm production takes its toll on a male, perhaps requiring the use of complex enzymes or biochemical processes that have harmful metabolic by products." The article goes so far as to suggest that "the difference in life span between men and women just may be linked to sperm production.
Women on average live about 6 years longer than men." There are other theories to explain the disparity in life expectancy between men and women, including differences in lifestyle and in hormones. Whether or not the production of sperm actually shortens your life, it certainly saps your strength.
Looking at the simple arithmetic of sperm production helps explain the reason that discharge (ejaculation) can be so taxing on your body. An average discharge (ejaculation) contains 50 to 250 million sperm cells (Theoretically speaking, if each sperm fertilized an egg, one to five discharges could repopulate the United States!). Every single one of those sperm cells is capable of creating half of an entire new human being. Any factory that produces 50 to 250 million products needs raw material, and in this case the raw material is you.
Although your body produces a large amount of sperm each day, the value of this sperm should not be underrated. If your body does not need to replenish this sperm, according to the Tao, it is able to use this energy to strengthen your body and your mind. In the Taoist practice, this energy is used to improve health, creativity, power, longevity, and spiritual growth.
According to Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (popularly known as the Kinsey Report), an average man discharges (ejaculates) about 5000 times during his lifetime; some men discharge (ejaculate)
, many more times. During the course of an average man’s intimacy life (and this includes time spent locked in the bathroom), a man discharges (ejaculates) 1 trillion sperm. Assuming that some of this discharge (ejaculation) happens with a partner, the chances of his passing on his genetic code are pretty good. However, when we make love – not for progeny, but for pleasure – there is no need to spill our seed and deplete our bodies. So, if you make love only when you want
to conceive a child, you will not need to practice erotic continence. If, however, you want to have a multi-orgasmic and healthy erotic life, study this book.
As Western chemistry has become more refined, it is now able to demonstrate that our bodies are indeed filled with energy and electric charges. In the February 1984 issue of Discover magazine, K.
C. Cole explained the comparison: "Electricity is almost certainly the most elusive of everyday things: It lives in the walls of our houses, and regulates the lives of our cells…. It runs electric trains and human brains…. Your entire body is a giant electric machine: body chemistry (like all chemistry) is based on electrical bonds."
Dr. John Mann and Larry Short, authors of The Body of Light counted 49 cultures around the world that have a word for chi; the words vary from prana in Sanskrit to neyayoneyah in Lakota Sioux to num, which means "boiling point," in the language of the kalahari
!Kung. The West is perhaps unique in its lack of an equivalent term. We speak about feeling energized or having low energy, but with a few notable exceptions, we tend to ignore this important part of our physical body.
Several Western physicians such as Robert Becker, a Syracuse University orthopaedist and author of The Body Electric, are trying to explain chi in relation to bioelectricity and healing. It was Dr. Becker’s research into electricity and its role in regenerating bones that led to the current method of using low-level electrical currents to stimulate the mending of fractures.
Where does it go when not ejaculated? The semen is broken down and reabsorbed by the body, just as the sperm are reabsorbed in a man who has had a vasectomy. However, the effects of the Taoist techniques on the body are very different from those of a vasectomy. With a vasectomy, the vases deferens is cut just above the testicles and the sperm is eventually reabsorbed. It is important to practice specific exercises to circulate energy. These techniques help the body absorb the semen and reduce any feeling of fullness or congestion. The involuntary contractions of the contractile-phase orgasms that you will learn to experience without discharge (ejaculation) helps in keeping the prostate healthy.
"I don’t discharge, can this hurt me?" The Taoists have been practicing the specific techniques of semen conservation for thousands of years without negative side effects, and in fact with great improvement to their health, vitality and longevity. From their study of multi-orgasmic men, Dunn and Trost conclude: "None of our subjects has yet developed erectile or ejaculatory difficulties. Our older multiple orgasmic men maintain firm erections after one or more orgasms. In our clinical experience, we have not seen men who become sexually dysfunctional following experimentation with multiple orgasms."
In the words of one multi-orgasmic man, "A whole-body orgasm is unbelievable. Once you experience it you never go back to a genital orgasm."
The importance of the PC muscle was discovered during the 1940s by Arnold Kegel, a gynaecologist. He developed the famous Kegel (pronounced KAY-gul) exercises, which help many pregnant women control their bladders and which can ease childbirth. Women found that these exercises could also increase their erotic intimacy desire, intensify their orgasms, and help them become multi-orgasmic. Strengthening this muscle is equally important for a man's pelvic health and erotic pleasure. There are many different exercises for strengthening your PC muscle that have been taught in the West, most of them adaptations of Kegel's original technique. All of them teach you to contract and relax the muscle, although the number of repetitions and the amount of time suggested for holding the contractions vary. By squeezing the muscles around your eyes and mouth, you can increase the force of your PC pull-ups. It is easiest to begin practicing this exercise while sitting, but later on you can do this exercise while standing or lying down.
Christianity's ambivalence toward eroticism, especially erotic that is not procreative, still influences our society and erotic morale. For example, in 1994 Dr. Joycelyn Elders, the U.S. surgeon general, was forced to resign for stating publicly that masturbation "is a part of human sexuality." Therefore, it is worth mentioning that Christianity's prohibition of masturbation, which at one time was called onanism, is based on a misreading of the biblical story of Onan. Onan was punished for refusing to impregnate the wife of his dead brother, as was the custom at the time. His "sin" had nothing to do with masturbation.
"Among the skills possessed by men, a knowledge of women is indispensable,” explains Discourse on the Highest Tao Under Heaven. “When one does have a woman, only the skilful are equal to the task.” The union of man and woman has been the foundation of Superior Intimacy, for through this primal bond, it was believed, infinite pleasure and priceless health could be attained. With this incentive, the Taoists refined lovemaking into a high art of intimacy and ecstasy. A harmonious love life was considered essential to conjugal happiness, and newly weds were given “pillow hooks” that graphically demonstrated how they could achieve this bliss. We would never think of learning to cook without some guidance or a cookbook or two, but in lovemaking, which is certainly much more complex than cooking, western men and women are forced to discover for themselves the mysterious world of intimacy with only a few hopelessly romanticized images from the movies and television to guide them.
23.“Hollywood sex is not good sex; it is just fast sex.” The passionate, urgent embrace portrayed in most films in which the woman is instantly lubricated and immediately satisfied by a few minutes
of coital writhing would he laughable if it did not leave so many viewers trying to imitate this animalic model of lovemaking. It is worth remembering that the director’s imperative of keeping the plot moving, and the public’s intolerance for watching the body in pleasure, make it impossible to explore on-screen the subtle nuances of lovemaking. Candace Bergen described her formula for cinematic orgasm' in Esquire magazine: “10 seconds of heavy breathing, roll your head from side to side, simulate a slight asthma attack, and die a little."
It is no wonder that Western men, weaned on movies, television and porn, discharge (ejaculate) so quickly. Almost 80 percent of the men Kinsey studied discharged (ejaculated) less than two minutes after entering their partner. Both men and women may lose out in this rapid-fire coitus. Hartman and Fithian speculate that this quick intercourse does not allow enough time for the natural chemicals that accompany touch and erotic arousal to be released into the bloodstream, short-circuiting the general sense of well-being that usually accompanies lovemaking. The Taoists would say that in such hasty intimacy the man and woman are not able to exchange erotic energy and to harmonize with one another, and may even drain each other of energy.
Almost a quarter century after Kinsey published his findings – in the wake of the sexual revolution and women’s liberation – Morton Hunt found in a follow-up study that men were lasting 10 minutes instead of 2. Though still rather short by Taoist standards, this increase is a +400 percent improvement nonetheless.
Although men are generally portrayed as insensitive lovers, guided in bed exclusively by their own self-interest, clearly a major motivation for men learning to last longer in bed in recent years has been their desire to pleasure their partners, who were beginning to discover that they could be orgasmic or even multi-orgasmic.
In interviews with 4,000 men, Anthony Pietropinto found that a surprising 80 percent judged their own erotic satisfaction by whether they had been able to give their partner one or more orgasms. Once you are multi-orgasmic, you will be able to satisfy your partner no matter how long she takes to orgasm.
In their study of multi-orgasmic men, Dunn and Trost found that it was much easier for men to become multi-orgasmic with a loving partner with whom there was emotional closeness and the opportunity for leisurely intimacy. Each man they interviewed mentioned that the goal was not to have multiple orgasms but to have pleasurable and satisfying erotic intimacy. Multiple orgasms are just one of the many treasures you will discover along the path to intimate and ever more ecstatic lovemaking,
When a woman is not aroused, the G spot is more difficult to find, but you may be able to feel some bumpy or ridged skin. When stimulated it can swell to the size of a dime or larger, standing out
from the wall of the vagina. Alan and Donna Brauer suggest that the best time to find it is just after a woman orgasm: “It is already somewhat enlarged and sensitive.” They recommend stroking it at a rate of about once a second and experimenting with both lighter and heavier pressure.
Shere Hite reports that about 70 percent of the women she surveyed required at least some stimulation of their clitoris in order to have an orgasm. As already mentioned, your lover’s clitoris is equivalent to the head of your lingam. For the majority of men, the head is the most sensitive part of their sexual anatomy – as is the clitoris for most women. Asking a woman to have an orgasm without stimulating her clitoris is like asking a man to have an orgasm without stimulating the head of his lingam. It can be done, but it takes a lot longer, it is not surprising then that in the missionary position many women are not able to have an orgasm, since the most sensitive part of their anatomy – the clitoris – is only indirectly being stimulated. Sometimes the man’s pubic bone will rub against the clitoris or the hood of the clitoris will be pulled against it during intercourse, but these are clearly no substitute for direct stimulation by your lingam, fingers, or mouth. It’s not surprising that Kinsey, Hunt, and Hite have all found that nearly half of American women never or rarely experience orgasm during intercourse
Hartman, Fithian, and co-author Berry Campbell suggest that each woman’s pattern of orgasm is so individual that it should be called an “orgasmic fingerprint." As Lonnie Barbach has pointed out, physiology as well as personal and cultural expectations influence how your partner (and you) experience orgasm, which is probably one of the reasons people tend to have a "standard” orgasmic pattern. Some women have one powerful orgasm, some have one gentle orgasm, and some have one continuous orgasm. Women who are multi-orgasmic can have any combination of the above. It is important to remember that your partner’s orgasm (like your own) will be somewhat different each time.
As you are reading about these general stages, it is important to keep in mind Kinsey’s conclusion about the uniqueness of each person’s eroticism: “There is nothing more characteristic of the sexual response than the fact that it is not the same in any two individuals.” Most people who know anything about Taoism have heard about yin and yang and their complementary and cyclical positions in the symbol of the Tao. Most people know that yin is the feminine energy in the universe and that yang is its masculine counterpart. These two primordial energies are the electron and proton that allow all creation to occur and allow you and your partner to harmonize and refine your erotic energy.
In the words of the I Ching, “The interaction of one yin and one yang is called Tao, and the resulting constant generative process is called 'change.'" A genuine smile transmits loving energy, which has the
power to warm and to heal. Recall a time when you were upset or physically ill and someone gave you a big smile; suddenly you felt better. Norman Cousins, a former editor of the Saturday Review, writes in Anatomy of an Illness that he cured himself of a rare connective tissue disease by watching old Marx Brothers movies. Smiling and laughter have the ability to transform negative energy into positive energy and to heal our bodies and minds. If you have a lot of negativity in general, you should start practicing Superior Intimacy.
As an article in a 2005 issue of the Journal of Sex Research pointed out, “Attitudes have more significant influences on sexual desire than biomedical factors,” which include hormone levels, illness, and the effects of medications on libido.”
In the 1980s, sexologists William Hartman and Marilyn Fithian found that about 12 percent of the men they studied were multi- orgasmic. As your partner begins to recognize that he also has this potential and as you help him learn some simple techniques, he too will experience multiple orgasms. One partner of a multi-orgasmic man recalled: “The first time my lover had an orgasm without discharge (ejaculation) I couldn’t believe it. He was clearly experiencing much more pleasure than usual and I could feel his lingam pulsating, but much to my surprise there was no semen and moments later we were able to continue making love. It’s still amazing to me that he can have such intense orgasms without discharge (ejaculation).” Another partner of a multi-orgasmic man described what she experiences when her partner has an orgasm without discharge (ejaculation): “My partner stops moving for a moment and moans and trembles. I can feel his deep state of bliss.”
Multiple orgasms are just the beginning. We tend to see the "big 0" as the be-all and end-all of eroticism, and many women spend a great deal of time worrying about whether they are orgasmic, when they are orgasmic, and how they are orgasmic. In Taoist sexuality, experiencing an orgasm, one or many, is not the goal. These peaks of pleasure are just part of an ecstatic process of lovemaking. Once you and your partner learn to circulate sexual energy through your bodies, you can experience orgasmic waves of pleasure as often as you like. When you make love, you will experience a depth of intimacy – a physical, emotional, and even spiritual bond – that you may have rarely, if ever, felt before.
Will our lovemaking become mechanical? At first many women worry that lovemaking with their partner will become mechanical. As Dr. Barbara Keesling points out in her book, How to Make Love All Night (And Drive a Woman Wild), many women fear that the techniques for becoming multi-orgasmic that their partners learn will “turn their stud into a mechanical bull.”She testifies that the experience takes a man “into his body, not away from it.” As an intimacy trainer who has trained over 100 men to become multi-orgasmic, she speaks from personal as well as professional experience. Like learning to play
a musical instrument, learning erotic continence will take some time and effort and may be a little awkward at first. The best approach is to relax and become aware.
We believe, along with sexologists Hartman, Fithian, and Campbell that each woman has an orgasmic pattern that is so individual it can be called her orgasmic fingerprint. We also recognize that, even for the same woman, each orgasm has its own specific characteristics, sensations, and levels of satisfaction. (As men move beyond the Big Bang discharge orgasm, they discover that they can have a variety of orgasms, too.)
According to the research of Danish endocrinologist Niels Skakkebaek, semen counts of men in the United States and 20 other countries have fallen dramatically over the last half century – by as much as 50 percent. The cause of this precipitous decline is still being debated, and possible culprits range from tight underwear to chemical pollutants. In reporting on the environmental dangers that seem at least partly to blame, University of Florida researcher Louis Guillette told a panel of U.S. Congressmen, "Every man in this room is half the man his grandfather was."
Research – much of it quite recent – suggests that erotic intimacy has lingering effects on the brain, and that orgasm experience has much in common with drugs. In short, the effects are quite likely powerful enough to affect our perceptions, priorities, feelings of well-being, contentment, and relationship harmony for a time. Indirectly, this line of research suggests why erotic intimacy may naturally increase our capacity to bond, and help counter addiction, stress, and depression.
A recent American Society of Addiction Medicine statement: “When one engages non-pathologically in potentially addictive behaviors one may experience a "high", felt as a "positive" emotional state associated with increased dopamine and opioid peptide activity in reward circuits. After such an experience, there is a neurochemical rebound, in which the reward function does not simply revert to baseline, but often drops below the original levels. This is usually not consciously perceptible by the individual and is not necessarily associated with functional impairments.
The psychologist Havelock Ellis writes: "Coitus Reservatus, – in which intercourse is maintained even for very long periods, during which a woman may have orgasm several times while the penetrative partner succeeds in holding back orgasm (discharge) – so far from being injurious to a woman, is probably the form of coitus which gives her the maximum gratification and relief ".
Stockham writes: "Karezza signifies 'to express affection in both words and action,' and while it fittingly denotes the union that is the outcome of deepest human affection, love's consummation, it is used technically throughout this work to designate a controlled sexual union." So that in practice, according to Stockham, it is more than just
self-control, but mutual control where the penetrative partner helps the receptive partner and vice versa. According to Stockham, this is the key to overcoming many difficulties encountered in trying to control sexual expression on an individual basis. Stockham's contribution was to apply this same philosophy of orgasm control to women as much as to men.
A form of birth control, the technique also prolongs erotic pleasure to the point of achieving mystical ecstasy, according to J. William Lloyd, a practitioner of Karezza, whose own experience of cosmic consciousness appears in Cosmic Consciousness, a book written by the Canadian psychiatrist Richard M. Bucke, a friend of the American poet Walt Whitman. In this practice, orgasm is separated from discharge, making possible enjoyment of the pleasure of erotic intercourse without experiencing seminal discharge, while still experiencing orgasm.
‘Omnia Animalia Post-Coitum Triste.’ It’s also called “post-coital tristesse,” which literally means “sadness” in French. In the 17th century, philosopher Baruch Spinoza summed it up this way: once the “enjoyment of sensual pleasure is past, the greatest sadness follows.” Many studies have examined the first 3 phases of the human sexual response cycle (excitement, plateau, orgasm), but the resolution phase has often been overlooked. In a 2015 study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, almost half of the women surveyed reported experiencing PCD(“post-coital dysphoria”) at some point in their lives, and around 5 percent said they’d felt it regularly within the past month.
A new study from the same researchers published in June 2018 suggests that PCD is almost just as prevalent in men: in an online survey of 1,208 male participants, around 40 percent of men said they’d experienced PCD in their lifetime, and 4 percent said it was a regular occurrence. In excerpts from the survey, men admit to feeling a “strong sense of self-loathing” about themselves post-intimacy and “a lot of shame.” Others say they’d experienced “crying fits and full on depressive episodes” after erotic intimacy that sometimes left their significant others worried.
“Men who may suffer from PCD (“post-coital dysphoria”) think that they are the only person in the world with this experience, but they should recognize that there’s a diversity of experiences in the resolution phase of sex.”- Robert Schweitzer, a Psychology Professor at Queensland University of Technology in Australia.
A 2012 study on the resolution phase of erotic intimacy showed that couples who engage in pillow talk, kissing, and cuddling after intercourse report greater erotic intimacy and relationship satisfaction.
Humans are not built for prolific discharge. Promiscuity author Tim Birkhead points out that:” The rate of human semen production is lower than that of any other mammal so far investigated. The numbers of sperm stored in the epididymis are also low.”
Nearly half of women have experienced "post-sex blues", QUT research has found. Post-Coital dysphoria (PCD), characterised by tearfulness, a sense of melancholy or depression, anxiety, agitation or aggression following sexual intercourse, had been experienced by 46 per cent of surveyed women at some point in their lives. Among 230 female university students who completed an online survey, one in 20, or 5.1 per cent, had experienced PCD symptoms several times in the previous four weeks. Two per cent of women reported experiencing PCD symptoms "always" or "most of the time". The study, led by Professor Robert Schweitzer from QUT's School of Psychology and Counselling, has been published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. "The findings build upon our previous research investigating the correlates of sexual functioning in women," Professor Schweitzer said. "This is an area which is under-researched and the results may seem surprising because consensual sex is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. "But the results of our original research in this area have now been confirmed in an international multinational study on negative post- coital emotions, which appear to have evolutionary functions."
Some of the most intriguing findings about orgasm may lie beyond its brief fireworks. Post-O data could one day help solve all kinds of mysteries, such as why lovers’ libidos often go out of sync — especially after those initial “honeymoon poppers” wear off.
After a rat satiates himself sexually (which is how rats normally mate, and requires an average of 2.5 hours and up to 7 discharges), he exhibits a pronounced 4-day cycle. He’s a bit fragile. His sexual motivation (libido) is nil-to-sluggish, and he’s hyper-reactive to a range of drugs. Why does this happen? His neuroendocrine equilibrium is off in various brain structures. After about four days, Mr. Rat can copulate more than once, but it will take him 15 days to return to full power.
According to scientists, the long-lasting character of these effects can only be explained by plastic brain changes that gradually reverse themselves. The changes apparently protect the brain against over stimulation from too many orgasms in a short period. One of the most interesting post-O changes measured in male rats is a drop-in sensitivity to testosterone. With each discharge, testosterone receptors decline in the erotic centres of the brain, gradually putting the brakes on libido.
A flow of oxytocin can be sustained by employing the same strategy that other pair-bonding species use: frequent bonding behaviors. Conscious lovers can also keep the flow more consistent by mastering an approach to intercourse that has gone by various names: erotic continence, karezza, Daoist dual cultivation, cortezia, tantra, amplexus reservatus, coitus reservatus and so forth. They emphasize daily affection and pleasurable, non-goal-oriented intercourse to increase and sustain oxytocin while averting the drop-off after orgasm.
Wilhelm Reich ("Mr. Orgasm" himself ) recorded the benefits of "voluntary control of the excitation": Through the mutual, gradual, spontaneous effortless friction, the excitation becomes concentrated [in lingam and vagina]. The characteristic sensation which heralds and accompanies the discharge of the semen is still wholly absent.
… Consciousness is fully attuned to the assimilation of the streaming sensations of pleasure. … According to most potent men and women, the slower and gentler the frictions are and the more closely synchronized, the more intense are the sensations of pleasure. … In this phase, interruption of the friction is in itself pleasurable because of the special sensations of pleasure which attend this pause and do not require psychic exertion. In this way, the act is prolonged…. Interruption of the intimate act by withdrawing the lingam not unpleasant as long as it occurs after a restful pause. (Wilhelm Reich, The Function of the Orgasm, Farrar, Strauss and Giroux (1973): 102- 5.) Reich also noted that this technique increases harmonization, or atonement, with one's lover. Was he, like other observers throughout thousands of years of human history, indirectly acknowledging the power of oxytocin to strengthen the harmony and satisfaction of lovers?
49. “Even after a lifetime of sexual experience we never reach anywhere near that supreme stage, near that divinity. Why? A man reaches a ripe old age, comes to the end of his life, but he is never free from his lust for sex, from his passion for intercourse. Why? It is because he has never understood nor been told about the art of sex, about the science of sex. He has never considered it; he has never discussed it with the enlightened ones.".Osho, “Transcribed teachings, secret of secrets”
“When a U.K. satellite television channel conducted a survey on what people on their deathbeds regret most, 7 out of 10 British pensioners – both men and women – regretted not having “shagged around” (screwed around) more. As people were dying they were wishing they had more erotic intimacy in their lives. What an incredible revelation, that human beings are leaving this world erotically unfulfilled.”
“Ordinarily the energy is going outward and downward. You have to bring it backward, inward—and “inward” is synonymous with “upward.” Once it starts coming back to you, and you become a circle of energy, you will be surprised: a new dimension has opened up; you start moving upward. Your life is no longer horizontal. It has taken a new route, the vertical. Osho, “Transcribed teachings, secret of secrets”
What a man feel once he discharge? Here is the list from a research participant: “An intense idleness spreads inside of me. Contact with people becomes difficult for me. I do not feel like seeing people. The front of my torso is extremely tense for the next two days. My lower back is contracted. My neck is tense. My body is generally tense. There is no space in me, no mobility. I am irritable. I behave like a child that did not get enough sleep, even if I’ve slept a lot. Even little things are often too much. If I have to do something, it often feels
like an insurmountable obstacle. My thoughts are racing. I doubt my profession, my relationship, my living space, and my life. Nothing seems as good as it is. I lack serenity. I feel no joy. I am afraid that everything will get to be too much. My eyes are blurred and my head feels foggy. I do not want to look at my beloved any more, and I am hardly able to look at her. If I do it anyway, I do not see her clearly. I feel restless. In brief, nothing is fun. I need two to three days (at least). I start watching movies endlessly and avoid contact with anyone.”
A survey of 5,628 women in the United States conducted by Kinsey in 1953 found that about 40 percent of these women had experienced orgasms in their sleep.
54.“A possible answer to why many women aren’t honest about adultery comes from Helen F. Fisher, research Professor of Anthropology at Rutgers University, who told the New York Times, “Men want to think women don’t cheat, and women want men to think they don’t cheat, and therefore the sexes have been playing a little psychological game with each other.”
“One explanation for the increase in adulterous affairs may simply be that more couples are unhappy with each other and their marriages than ever before.”(Is intimacy be the key problem?)
“Pelvic floor exercises can restore erectile function in many men who suffer from an inability to achieve and maintain an erection.”- Brian R. Clement
“Studies have been done throughout the world to measure the average amount of time heterosexual couples engage in intimate intercourse,and it’s the women who have been holding the stopwatches. “Dutch researchers recruited 500 couples from 5 countries” — Britain, the Netherlands, Spain, Turkey, and the United States — and armed the female partners with stopwatches to time each bout of intercourse over a 4-week period. Special attention was paid to whether the couples used condoms and whether the men were circumcised. The results were published in the July 2005 issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine and revealed the following titillating facts:
•The average duration of intimate intercourse, defined as the time between the start of penetration and discharge, was 5.4 minutes for all the couples.
•The median duration wasn’t affected by condom use or by whether the man was circumcised.
•Couples in Turkey devoted the shortest average amount of time, 3.7 minutes, to intimate intercourse among the 5 countries.
•When average times were broken down based on age, 6.5 minutes was the average time for the 18- to 30 year-olds, compared to 4.3 minutes on average for those couples older than fifty-one.”
“An orgasm (without discharge) a day keeps the doctor away. – Actress Mae West (1893–1980)”
“The longer you abstain from intimacy, the lower your hormone and sperm or egg production. You ultimately lose your erotic chemistry potential, and that affects your health.”
“One of the clearest pieces of medical evidence yet that men who don’t frequently use their erotic equipment lose their ability to do so comes from a Finnish study published in the American Journal of Medicine in July 2008. Nearly 1000 Finnish men aged fifty-five to seventy-five years were studied over a 5-year period and evaluated for their intimacy frequency and subsequent risk of erectile dysfunction. The impotence rate was 71 per one thousand among men who had intimate experiences less than once a week, compared to 32 per thousand in men having weekly intimate activity, and just 16 per thousand among men having erotic intimacy at least 3 times a week.
The researchers at a Finnish hospital who conducted the study concluded: “Regular intercourse protects against the development of erectile dysfunction among men aged 55 to 75 years. This may have an impact on general health and quality of life; therefore, doctors should support patients’ intimate activity.”
“A survey of studies published in a 2001 issue of the American Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology concludes that the elusive G-spot is “a sort of gynaecological UFO: much sought for, much discussed, but unverified by objective means“.The answer to this debate must be provided on an individual basis by those women who have found their G-spot and use it to experience the deep, full-body orgasmic contractions that it affords.”
“A team of Italian researchers writing in a 2009 issue of Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics reported the results of a study involving a group of volunteers ages 39 to 60 who had a diagnosis of low erotic drive, sexual arousal disorder, or orgasmic disorder. These test subjects were randomly assigned to either a light treatment group or a placebo group. The bright light group had daily exposure to a white fluorescent light-box fitted with an ultraviolet filter, whereas the placebo group had reduced light exposure.
After two weeks, the volunteers rated their erotic satisfaction levels on a scale of 1 to 10. In the researchers’words, “a significant improvement” in erotic satisfaction was observed in the light therapy group versus no improvement in the placebo group. The reason for this improvement seems to be the interaction between the pineal gland and intense light, which might suggest we need proper exposure to natural sunlight to enhance our erotic intimacy functioning.”
“The effects of sexually nourishing foods and nutrients can be further enhanced and a synergy created if your exercise program includes a simple technique called the Kegel. Its medical use was later
expanded to include men who experienced urinary incontinence after prostate surgery. An unexpected benefit of Kegel exercises proved to be an improvement in sexual functioning in both men and women.
Women with persistent problems reaching orgasm and men with erection-firmness difficulties generally report improvement after a month of practicing Kegels, which basically involves repeatedly flexing the pelvic floor muscles. But anyone can benefit from the technique in ways that intensify sexual pleasure. It’s especially helpful to people in their fifties and beyond who want to maintain youthful sexual vigour."
“Sacred eroticism, better known as tantra, is how this practice has been introduced to westerners. The word tantra in Sanskrit, loosely translated, means “to weave.” Its roots go back several thousand years to India’s Hindu and Buddhist spiritual traditions, though it should be emphasized that tantra is not a religion in itself, and anyone from any religious background or belief system can find benefit from it. As a practice, tantra has evolved into two “paths” — the “right-hand path,” as it’s called, refers to practitioners who use only yoga, meditation, mantra chanting, and related rituals to achieve a blissful, orgasmic state of consciousness, without erotic intimate activity.
The “left-hand path” of tantra actively uses sexuality as the vehicle for reaching spiritual states of consciousness by mindfully controlling orgasmic energy. To many westerners “ears, talk about using sex with the intention of liberating spirit may sound scary and suspiciously like New Age jargon. But that may be because tantra practices run so counter to repressive western attitudes about sex, and because western religious traditions have erected such stubborn boundaries between spirit and the pleasures of the flesh. Tantric masters define sacred sexuality as a meditative lovemaking that help both lovers “to prolong the act and to channel, rather than dissipate, potent orgasmic energies moving through you, thereby raising the level of your consciousness. ”
“Stockham endorsed coitus reservatus as a means of preventing unwanted pregnancies in an age prior to widespread and effective birth control, that is true, but karezza for her is more than that. She offers a theory of sexual mysticism that entails not only the physical but also the spiritual union of man and woman in marriage, and what is more, she argues that sexual union in karezza generates individual creativity. And if the couple decides to have children, karezza will result in superior offspring.”- Arthur Versluis. “The Secret History of Western Sexual Mysticism.”
65. “A study on sexuality in the Journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy concludes that “sexual satisfaction is a major contributor to quality of life, ranking at least as highly as spiritual and religious commitments and other morale factors.” People who like themselves generally feel sexier and more desirable to others. We are attracted to the vital and energetic person. The maintenance of good health probably has more to do with being sexually attractive than any other factor.
Continued sexual activity and expression throughout life enhance the masculine feelings of men and the feminine feelings of women. Charisma is the hormonal connection we feel to a healthy and vital person. Preserving passion in your life not only will prolong your life but will bless you with a more intense level of happiness and fulfilment than you would receive otherwise. Intensify your passion, and you intensify your enjoyment of life.
66. “Orgasm Can Be Separated from Discharge” – If you’re like most people, you probably think that orgasm and discharge of semen are inseparable partners, like Siamese twins, in the male sexual experience. After all, how often do men have an orgasm that doesn’t produce a seminal fluid eruption? The answer might surprise you, especially if you’ve never experienced it or seen it happen. Not only can orgasm be separated from ejaculation in men, but men can have multiple orgasms just as some women do. Discharge is a glandular reflex that occurs when a physiological threshold — the point of no return — is crossed and the prostate gland contracts to discharge seminal fluid. Orgasm, on the other hand, is an emotional, energetic reflex that produces waves of physical sensation and involuntary muscular movements. Taking control over your breath is the key to having an orgasm without triggering the reflex of discharge. The point of no return can be bypassed by substituting deep breathing exercises for the shallow chest breaths that usually accompany sexual activity. It takes practice, but any man can learn to do it. 67. In the case of the ancient cure-all ginkgo, a 1996 study in the Journal of Urology reported that ginkgo extracts can relax vascular smooth muscles in the lingam to aid in the treatment of impotence.
“Sexual intercourse is kicking death in the ass while singing.” — Novelist Charles Bukowski (1920–1994)
“It is time for men (and their spouses, partners and physicians) to become aware that testosterone in men is not just a sex hormone but a total body hormone, essential for normal psychological and physical functioning and to help offset risks for chronic life-threatening diseases”, says Dr. Harvey S. Bartnof, director of the California Longevity & Vitality Medical Institute in San Francisco.
“At older ages, married men and women face lower risks of sexual dysfunction than the unmarried of the same age,” reports the International Longevity Center. “Being married has been shown to have consistently positive effects on health and longevity.” Never lose sight of the fact that erotic intimacy can be a kind of Fountain of Youth. “Sexuality is a life-giving energy that holds back the curtain of death” is the apt way that Annie Laura Cotten, an emeritus Professor of Psychology at Central Connecticut State University, describes it.
Orgasm (without discharge) frequency extends life and “may be protective of middle-aged men’s health.”Mortality risk was 50 percent lower in men with high orgasmic frequency, found a study of 918 men
in Wales. “In a study of 2,453 elderly women and men in Taiwan, it was “shown that the absence of libido and lessened intimate activity produced a much higher mortality rate in comparison to those elderly who continued having intimate relations. A study of 3,500 people up to the age of 101 found that regular intimate activity “helps you to look four to seven years younger,” based on impartial photo ratings and analysis. The quality and frequency of intimate expression in older adults “is itself a predictor of good general health and well-being.” Having a loving partner in old age contributes toward good mental health, and that is particularly true in older women who are threatened by ill health.”
“One tablespoon of semen is incredibly powerful stuff, almost atomic in its potency. In addition to sperm cells, seminal fluid contains an immense amount of protein, vitamins, minerals, and amino acids, as well as vital energies. Semen contained within the male body represents tremendous individual potential and creative power. It should really be viewed as a type of liquid gold, and not treated as easy as it is. Dispersed semen represents a loss of personal energy resources, particularly when a man’s climax involves the build- up of much tension and stress that leave behind traces in the body, brain chemistry, and psyche. The vast majority of men will admit that after an discharge they feel depleted, low in energy, disconnected, or withdrawn. Containment of semen will empower a man because the vital substances nourish his intelligence and creativity; he becomes more centred and master of himself.” -Diana Richardson
“Conscious breathing in the direction of the genitals during erotic intimacy increases the oxygen intake and enhances the whole metabolism, providing you with vitality and aliveness. Throughout lovemaking, simply paying acute attention to the process of the in-breaths and the out-breaths can shift you to another realm of experience. Normally breathing is involuntary and happens whether we’re thinking about it or not, which makes it extremely easy to slip out of conscious connection with the breath. It is a function of the autonomic nervous system, meaning that its function is independent of the conscious mind. We are not able to consciously affect most processes of our autonomic nervous system, but we can take an active part in our breathing process. The extent to which you relax and deepen the breath as you make love will definitely pay off with the rewards of greater presence, enhanced cellular sensitivity, and inner expansion.”- Diana Richardson
“One of the most unusual scientific revelations of the last century is the mathematical proof that the act of observing any phenomenon in the universe—be it the flight of a bird or the rotation of a planet— has a direct influence upon that phenomenon. According to the laws of physics, we have no choice but to alter “the bird’s course or the planet’s speed simply by focusing our awareness on it. So, if we have the power to tweak the orbit of a heavenly body, it should come as no
surprise that vitamin A—awareness—also has a profound impact on the human body.
“It has been scientifically proven that long-term overexposure to sensation leads to an ultimate loss of sensitivity. At the end of a couples retreat several years ago, a scientist who had participated told me that the loss of sensitivity in the face of intensity of stimulation had been scientifically proven in the second half of the nineteenth century by German physiologist Ernst Weber and physicist and psychologist Gustav Fechmer. Their research, formulated as the Weber-Fechmer law, is the theory of the relationship between stimulus and experience.
Their research showed that the change in intensity of a sensation varies in increments proportional to the relative change of the stimulus. “Today this is known to be true for every sensory channel within its range of dynamics. A simple example would be to light a match in the darkness. In this instance, the light is like an explosion, but if you do the same in bright sunlight, it is barely perceptible.
More sensation correlates to less sensitivity, and less sensation correlates to more sensitivity. Instead of habitually seeking more and more sensation, you can begin working on your senses so that you become capable of feeling the subtle, yet vital life force moving through you.” – Diana Richardson
“Stockham offered testimonials from those who had taken her advice. In an appendix, she includes the following account from a British noblewoman correspondent, who writes: The day previous I refuse myself to all and spend the day with Sir J. We read some intellectual or spiritually suggestive, mentally stimulating book part of the time. We speak much of our love, of our children. Of the things that are excellent. So, the day passes.
Then comes the sweet experience. I, too, require to make no conscious effort of the will to avoid the climax which formerly was so quickly and so violently brought on. Now there is only a wonderful exaltation of spirit, soul, and body, during which we believe that great character changes are going on because the wish to live for others does not pass, nor the new vision into the qualities of things and ideas, but abides.
Along with this is indescribable physical rapture for both of us. Without strain or undue excitement, the delicious inter-blending of spirit, soul and body lasts nearly one hour.Then we are quiescent, and open to each other all that we are seeing.”- Arthur Versluis.
“The Chinese legends speak of a golden age when all men lived in harmony with nature and transmuted their seed up as naturally as you or I breathe.” – Mantak Chia,Taoist Master
"Orgasm should not be compared with our normal state but rather with our post-coital condition. Coitus reservatus is then experience not as an unbearable itch or pressure, but fullness and vigour." – Douglas Wile,
"Depression is highest in the USA. It's clearly dysregulated for some reason." – Randolph Nesse, co-author of Why We Get Sick. If a woman does not relax into a transcendental state during erotic intimacy she will have the nervous orgasm, which is short-lived and followed by dissatisfaction and exhaustion. This is often the cause of a woman's hysteria and depression – Indian Tantric Master
Chinese Taoist sages taught that both sexes had the power to revitalize themselves by cultivating their sexual energy to avoid loss of vitality. To make their point dramatically, they equated the loss of one drop of semen with the loss of 100 drops of blood. Men were taught "erotic continence" to refine the sexual energy residing in sperm instead of discharge. Women were advised to mitigate their periods in a similar practice known as "slaying the red dragon." Today, many of us are engaged in sexual behavior that is the very opposite of such careful cultivation.
“Opening to more pleasure can spark metabolism and return the body to its natural state of balance. What I would like to suggest to you is that health, and by extension any action that promotes health, is inherently a deeply pleasurable experience. – Diana Richardson
Geoffrey Miller has suggested that intelligence, musical talent, a sense of humour, empathy, and creativity all evolved because these qualities put potential mates in the mood for love.
"After discharge I have brain-fag, low energy and I'm tongue-tied. I feel mentally and physically exhausted for a week or longer. Last spring, I started experimenting erotic continence. After two weeks without discharge, I had incredible drive to do things, think clearly, talk to people easily. I simply felt normal. I know I can destroy that state with one or two discharges."- Stefanos
"After discharge I experience clouded thinking, lack of interest in things I love (including people), fatigue, difficulties sleeping, and short attention span. The symptoms go away slowly after a week. Seeking relief, I took fenugreek [an herb that either encourages production of prolactin, or imitates it]. My symptoms disappeared, but my orgasm was not insanely intense like usual. Maybe people who experience severe symptoms have stronger orgasms. If so, orgasm could he compared to drugs or alcohol. The more intense the rush/high/orgasm, the worse the recovery/low. Incidentally, I've gone 11 months without discharge. I feel terrific."- Phil
Orgasm may induce changes in the hypothalamus that overwhelm prolactin inhibition (thus allowing prolactin to rise dramatically). Prolactin is an important sex hormone with potentially far-reaching daily consequences. It has fundamental role in erotic intimate activity and may be the first candidate for circulating molecule with the capacity to regulate erotic feelings and preparedness – Jeremy Heaton, Urologist
Nevertheless, scientists have already found unmistakable evidence that the human orgasm cycle extends for at least seven days in men. When they sample the levels of testosterone in men's blood during the days following orgasm, they see a predictable spike at the seven- day mark. The results showed that ejaculation-caused variations were characterized by a peak on the 7th day of abstinence; and that the effective time of an ejaculation, is 7 days minimum. In short, a man's orgasm kicks in a reproductive program, not unlike the reproductive program ovulation triggers in a woman. Menstrual cycles vary, but seldom by much, and they feature distinct hormonal spikes (of progesterone and estrogen). Predictable neurochemical surges are not purposeless. For example, it is a spike of testosterone that signals the bones to stop growing in adolescence.
The way I make love reflects immediately on the overall emotional atmosphere between us. When I have a "normal" orgasm (with discharge) I experience loss of the ability to feel the beauty, loss of the enchanting sense of life, and lack of subtle tenderness and completeness. After discharge, I feel depleted not only hormonally, but also emotionally and spiritually. For partial recovery, I need at least three or four days. For complete recovery, about two weeks are needed. In fact, I am astounded to see confirmation of my own observations in your research. During this time, one's partner becomes the mere reflection of one's inner state of mind. It's terrible! – Gary
In a recent study the pituitary gland plays an important role in basic survival mechanisms by releasing fluctuating amounts of hormones into the bloodstream, depending on the circumstances the individual finds itself. However, despite these changes in pituitary hormonal production, neuro-imaging studies have never been able to demonstrate changes in the activation level of the pituitary. The most apparent reason is the much higher blood flow rate in the pituitary than in the brain. However, the present PET-scanning study demonstrates for the first time that neuro-imaging techniques can identify increased pituitary activity.
In a study with 11 healthy women intimate orgasm compared to rest caused an increased blood supply to the pituitary. Female orgasm activates pituitary while imitated female orgasm does not activate the pituitary. Male discharge does not activate the pituitary. (Hieu KimHuynha Antoon T.M.WillemsenbGertHolstege)
A surprising amount of research suggests that erotic intimacy has lingering effects on the brain, and that climax has much in common with drugs. In short, the effects are quite likely powerful enough to affect our perceptions, priorities, feelings of well-being, contentment, and relationship harmony for a time. Indirectly, this research also suggests why karezza may naturally increase our capacity to bond, and help counter addiction, stress, and depression. Funding sources and long held assumptions, however, ensure that most researchers in the area are engaged in the study of how pharmaceuticals might be
developed to "enhance" conventional sex forcefully (and sometimes clumsily), rather than the study of how we might work with our biology to protect our pair bonds and enhance our overall well-being.
– James G. Pfaus, PhD
According to Alice Stockham, it takes from 2 weeks to 1 month for the body to recover from discharge. "Unless procreation is desired, let the final propagative orgasm be entirely avoided". Stockham advocated that the 'honeymoon period' of a relationship could be maintained in perpetuity by limiting the frequency of discharges or preferably avoiding them entirely.
Control of pro-creator potential is a key aspect of Taoist intimacy practices (known as "cai Yin pu Yang" and "cai Yang pu Yin").
92.“It’s an incredible and mysterious alchemy.The pleasure and delight of nature’s genital intelligence and sensitivity is something that will usually grow with time and exposure, meaning that you actually make love and open up to experience deep fulfilling pleasure.
Not a pleasure that leaves you wanting it again and again, but a pleasure that nourishes, fulfils, and uplifts you. When you are turned on by sex, when you experience sex in full-bodied pleasure, there is an impact on the entire sexual metabolism. “A fast-sexual style and fast lifestyle close a doorway of perception that decreases your pleasure threshold. There is a fascinating mind-body-spirit connection linking sexual metabolism, pleasure, and beauty. Opening to the finer pleasures of sex presents a thrilling arena that invites love and transformation." – Diana Richardson.
‘I suffered from depression since I was about twelve until this year (age twenty-four). My depression was part of bipolar disorder. It has completely gone away since I stopped discharging. I'm taking some herbs too, but abstaining from discharge definitely helps a lot with my mood.’ – Rafael
In her late work, The Lover’s World (1903), Stockham develops these ideas to their fullest extent. Here, she argues that “romantic love through the finer sensibilities and perceptions enables man to feel and know and use the all, the cosmic love.” She insists that we should all “bless and consecrate passion” because through passion, “some great souls” “may at once burst the walls of bondage.”
Sexual union can be a fast path to spiritual illumination for great souls who “get the revelation of power in a “flash, and as though born into a new life; all that has seemed low and carnal becomes transfigured, and in the hour of ecstasy body yields to spirit, matter to mind.”
Hence, “in sexual expression that which made special demands becomes diffused, pervading every fiber, every cell. Physical strength is augmented, mental processes vivified, while new truths are revealed. A renewed life and soul ecstasy follow.” -Arthur Versluis.
95. “The most effective way to see the benefit of erotic continence is to try it for a minimum of 3 weeks and then evaluate versus conventional approach” – Marcelo
96. “In the yoga tradition, there’s a saying that has helped practitioners reach for greater levels of mastery in working with the body: “Where attention goes, energy flows.” Decades of research in biofeedback have certainly proved this axiom, for when we focus on most any area of the body we can increase blood flow, alter bioelectric potential, and influence the secretion of numerous biochemicals.”- Diana Richardson.
“Another naturally occurring treatment for erectile dysfunction traditionally used in Asian cultures has received a seal of approval from numerous medical studies. Korean red ginseng got its first major boost in 1995 when the International Journal of Impotence Research reported on a study in which 90 men with erectile dysfunction were divided into three groups: one group used Korean red ginseng, a second was given just a placebo, and the third got a pharmaceutical drug treatment.
The ginseng group experienced “significantly higher” penile rigidity and girth and libido enhancement. More studies showing similar results followed. In 2002, for instance, the Journal of Urology published the results of a double-blind placebo-controlled study that found “significant improvement” in erectile function for Korean red ginseng users, which prompted the study authors to proclaim it “effective for treating male erectile dysfunction.”
The principal erotic problems for men are premature discharge, erectile dysfunction and fear of performance. The model of Superior Intimacy offers clear-cut solutions to these challenges.
The principal erotic problem for women is lack of desire. Among the causes for low desire are: hormonal imbalance, affections or injuries, anti-depressive treatment, career missteps, office stress, family stress, resentments generated within the couple, financial challenges, considerable weight gain, kid’s challenges, death of relatives etc. As in the case of men, the model of Superior Intimacy offers clear-cut solutions to these challenges.
A study done by Durex claims that if a man is using a condom it can prolong erotic intimate act with, in average, 3 minutes comparing the man that didn’t use a condom while in an erotic intimate experience. “You can extend it with hours if you practice Erotic Continence”- stated a practitioner in one of our classes."
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Superior Intimacy is truly an exhilarating and fulfilling model to practice. Thanks to our mentor for his unwavering support and inspiration in tackling this work, without which it was impossible to accomplish the task of writing the book on this sensitive topic.
The world is a better place thanks to people who want to develop and wisely lead the others. What makes it even better are people who share the gift of their time to mentors future leaders. Thank you to everyone who strives to grow and help others to grow.
We could not have begun the journey that produced first book without the initial inspiration from those advanced practitioner’s we’ve met who have progressed far on the path of Superior Intimacy.
To all the individuals we have had the opportunity to lead, be led by, or watch their leadership from afar, we want to say thank you for being the inspiration in developing the Superior Intimacy model.
Without the experiences and support from our mentor, our peers and team at Inner Alchemist Project, this book would not exist. You have given us the opportunity to work with a great group of individuals. Thank you to John, Laura, Uma, Marian, Dan, and all the team who directly or indirectly supported us.
We have been fortunate to have a network of practitioners across the globe. They have contributed in showing how the ideas in this book apply in action and helped to develop case materials for our research.
Among many people who deserve special mention are: Cristina, Aida, Wanda, Ovidiu, Atena, Bala Iyer, Augustiano and associates. Having an idea on a sensitive topic and turning it into a book is as hard as it sounds. The experience is both internally challenging and rewarding. We especially want to thank the individuals that helped to make this happen.
We appreciate the insights and encouragement from our program collaborators whose expertise has enhanced our work. Also thanks to Michaela, Letitia, Mirela, Kristina, Gianna, Alin, and Kostin.
From IMD business school, George would like to warmly thank to Jean-Francois Manzoni President of IMD, Bill Fischer, Carlos Cordon, Leif Sjlobom, and Phil Rosenzweig who inspired him along the journey in his time at IMD.
We would like to pay special thankfulness, warmth, and appreciation to the persons below who encourage us to make our research successful
and inspired us in this journey:
Paul Strebel, IMD Professor Emeritus of Strategy, Governance and Change for his insightful preliminary suggestions, ideas, and support at the beginning of the project. His encouragement made it possible to move forward.
Bala Chakravarthy, former IMD Professor of Strategy, whose help and sympathetic attitude at every point during our research helped us to work in time.
IMD Professor of Leadership, George Kohlrieser, whose work and classes were inspirational and motivated us in developing further the model of Superior Intimacy.
Warm thanks to IMD Emeritus Professor of Leadership Jack Denfeld Wood for your sharp insights early on the launch on this project.
Francesca Gino, professor at Harvard Business School, thank you for our interesting conversation in London.
Art Kleiner, editor in chief at Strategy&, thank you for the email exchange and for the insights offered.
Luis Gallardo, thank you for inviting us to the first Happiness Festival in Mexico.
Jean Paul Biberian thanks for our discussions in , for agreeing to publish his paper and for the insights offered on biological transmutation.
Doina Popescu, thank you for reading the first part of the book and the time taken to provide valuable insights and comments.
Mircea Ionita and Gabi Enciu, thank you for our conversations and being a sparring partner at some stages for designing the book cover. Mihaela Ignatescu, thanks for your observations on the content and your sharp eyes in correcting the grammar. Thanks for positive support and unawavering support to Clionela, Atalesir, and Tiberiu in designing the book.
KEY LEARNING POINTS
”He who conquers others is strong.
He who conquers himself is mighty.”
Lao Tzu
”Leadership is one of the most observed and least understood phenomena on earth.“
James Macgregor Burns
“This is a manifesto for love, happiness and transformation.”
Program participant
Remember that the biggest risk is
NOT THE ACTION
YOU TAKE,
it is trying fruitlessly to be stuck in the status-quo as the world changes around you.
“GRADUALLY, THEN SUDDENLY”
principle is much the same way how changes happen in our world and also in our lives.
This ineffable state of stability will then gradually become precise until it will become constant and will install in our being an
EQUILIBRIUM,
able to hinder forever any emotional drift.
THE TRUE CONTROL OF DISCHARGE
comes from knowing the own rhythm of excitation and not by ignoring it .There are other techniques that can help the process.
Those that don't leave the body eventually break down and their
COMPONENTS ARE RECYCLED
There is a saying that "he
WHO CONTROLS HIMSELF
is worth more than the one who conquers a castle, and he who does not control himself is like a crumbled castle that has no walls. "
In our research participants mentioned self-awareness, self-control, mental focus, and an intense state of happiness, fulfilment, and satisfaction were among the
KEY DEVELOPED TRAITS
as a result of practicing Superior Intimacy model.
Semen is the unique material substance from the human body that
CAN CREATE LIFE.
It contains many treasury ingredients which are responsible for living longer, feeling energetic, being full of life, creative, happy, productive, and intelligent.
PRACTICE OF
BRAHMACHARYA
gives good health, inner strength, peace of mind, and long life. It
invigorates the mind and the nerves. It helps to conserve physical and mental energy. “
Throughout the history men considered semen the
MOST POWERFUL AND VITAL BODY FLUID
representing their erotic performance and reproductive ability.
What do you think is the
MEANING OF LIFE?
Do you live your life accordingly?
When was the last time you told
“I LOVE YOU”
to your partner? What would happen if you would say it more often ?
What energizes you? What makes you feel depleted? How do you create and capture inner energy? Are you
successful with erotic continence? Are you able to achieve harmonious and integral sublimation?
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
George is an entrepreneur, former senior executive in large corporations, an electronic engineer, with an EMBA at IMD Lausanne with a clear mission to help others learn and practice new behaviors in their personal and professional lives that sustain positive transformations.
Board member in several organizations, he has worked in FMCG, Telecom, and Media advised and consulted on leadership development with top executives, including professors, presidents, government officials, and PhD students. He is the co-founder of the Inner Alchemist project, a concept that promotes a science-based methodology that integrates couples relationship relevant research, recent discoveries on happiness and leadership progress in a practical, actionable, and clear-cut framework.
“Superior Intimacy is a framework on how to use couple relationship experiences for accelerated leadership progress. You access a powerful source of inner energy with which you can create a better vision, communicate with more impact, motivate others with purpose, and design winning organizations.”
Ioana is an organizational psychologist and certified couple therapist based in Geneva. Her areas of focus are how to maintain a happy and flourishing long-term relationship, the psychological aspects of leadership, the bridge between couple relationship interplay and effective leadership.
“You get a completely new perspective on how to boost your leadership capacity. For your couple life, you learn a game-changer trick that will revolutionize the quality of your erotic and emotional intimacy.” →
ORGASM
= DISCHARGE
Fig.42 In his seminal work Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, Alfred Kinsey argued that "climax is clearly possible without discharge."
INDEX
The best predictor of your future success is your ability to keep learning and developing
A
anger – 102, 104, 253
anxiety – 15,30,47,4980,114, 118
127, 143, 159,177, 201,207,239, 245,
253,268,306,328,329
altered traits – 18, 24,33,320
attention – 4,22,43,59.84,87,101,159
,163,164,170,171,174,211,223,229,2
35,237,242,252,253,254,261,270,27
1,273,311,315,318,329,338,339,340
awareness
androgynous leader – 24, 25, 69, 70,
71,131,190,229,310
absenteeism – 52, 79
Abhinavagupta- 81
authenticity- 105
alchemist leader- 2,4,10, 24, 27, 80,
98, 131, 265, 268, 344
ailments- 81, 84, 92, 141, 158, 162, 242
B
breathing Brennan Crisann boldness
Broaden – and – Build Model body postures
business gods burn-out Buddha
behavioural change Bernard Raymond blood
biological transmutation C
carmelites order complete control circulating energy competitive advantage creativity consciousness customer satisfaction chief energy officer change curve
Carnegie Melon University criticism
Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly compassion commitment compatibility
coitus reservatus D
Davidson, Richard dry orgasm depression dignity
decision making Doty, James Dulcan, Constantin DHEA
Doidge, Norman
DMT
decalcifying demodulation deliberate practice E
erotic desire ethical values
European champions League ecosystem
erotic strategy epigenetic Einstein,Albert erotic strategy execution Emmons, Robert
emotional reactions energy gain emotional intelligence F
flow
Fredrickson, Barbara financial performance Frankl,Victor
G
Goleman, Daniel Goldfein, Solomon generosity Guthrie, G.S
gratitude George, Bill Gottman, John Gracie, Rickson H
Hugo,Victor humor Harvard heart eyes
heart coherence Hill, Napoleon Haye, David Hatha Yoga
Heart Math Institute I
inner traits inner growth
IE Business School intuition integration
J
Jobs, Steve Jacoby, Mary K
Keynes, John Kinsey,Alfred
Korotkov, Konstantin Kervran, Louis
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